Chapter 7
A/N: Thank you to all the favorites and follows I hope you
enjoy this chapter.
Jacob Pov
Time had become a meaningless construct. Days bled into weeks,
weeks into what felt like an eternity, but none of the passing time
managed to dull the sharp edges of the pain. It was a constant
companion, a dull ache that settled deep in my bones, a reminder of
everything I had lost. I wandered aimlessly, a ghost in the forests I
once called home, the familiar scents and sounds now only serving
as painful reminders of a life that felt impossibly distant.
Leah's voice, sharp and insistent, cut through the fog of my despair.
It was through the pack mind, a connection that I had been actively
trying to sever, but she was persistent, her thoughts a relentless
drumbeat in my consciousness.
"Jake," she said, her voice echoing in my mind. "It's time to come
home."
I didn't respond at first, letting her words hang in the silence of my
mind. The thought of returning to La Push, to the familiar faces and
places that now only served to amplify my pain, was unbearable.
"Jake, please," Leah's voice softened, a hint of pleading entering
her tone. "We need you."
"I can't," I finally responded, the words barely a whisper in the
vastness of my mind. "I can't face them. I can't face…everything."
"I understand you're hurting," Leah said, her voice laced with a
surprising gentleness. "But you have people who rely on you, Jake.
You can't just disappear."
"I don't care," I retorted, the bitterness rising in my throat. "I don't
care about anything anymore."
"You should," Leah's voice hardened, the familiar edge returning.
"You're the Alpha, Jake. You're responsible for this pack, for this
land. You can't just abandon everything because you're hurting."
I remained silent, her words hitting a nerve. The responsibility, the
weight of leadership, was something I had always taken seriously.
But now, it felt like a burden I could no longer carry.
After a long moment of silence, Leah spoke again, her voice softer,
almost hesitant. "I…I really think you should talk to Bella, Jake."
A wave of anger washed over me, a familiar surge of protectiveness
for the woman who had caused me so much pain. "Talk to her?
What for?" I retorted, the bitterness dripping from my thoughts.
"Maybe…maybe you'll understand each other better," Leah said,
her voice barely a whisper.
"Since when are you such a fan of Bella?" I asked, my thoughts
laced with suspicion.
There was a pause, a moment of hesitation before Leah responded.
"Since I realized she actually cared about you, Jake. More than you
know."
Her words hung in the air, a sudden shift in the landscape of my
thoughts. Leah, the one person who had always been so fiercely
protective of me, who had always harbored a deep resentment
towards Bella, was now suggesting I talk to her. It made me think.
Maybe there was something I was missing. Maybe there was more
to the story than I had allowed myself to believe.
The thought, the possibility, was enough to stir something within
me, a flicker of hope in the darkness. I knew I couldn't stay away
forever. I owed it to my pack, to my family, to at least try to
understand.
"I'll…I'll come home," I finally responded, the words heavy with
resignation.
Bella POV
With Charlie's help, and the small but steady income from the
bookstore, I had managed to acquire a few essential items for the
baby. A simple wooden crib, a changing table, a few soft blankets
and onesies. Each purchase was a bittersweet experience, a mix of
excitement and a deep, gnawing sadness. I was excited to be
preparing for my child, but the absence of Jacob, the knowledge
that I was doing this alone, cast a long shadow over everything.
Today was my 18-week check-up, a day I had been both anticipating
and dreading. I was excited to see my baby again, to hear the
reassuring thump of its heartbeat, but the thought of going alone, of
not having Jacob by my side, was a constant ache in my heart.
The appointment went smoothly. The doctor confirmed that the
baby was healthy and developing wonderfully. They even showed
me the tiny hairs sprouting on its head. It was a surreal experience,
watching the tiny form move on the screen, knowing that this life
was growing inside me.
"We can usually get a good look at the sex around 21 weeks," the
doctor said, pointing to the screen. "But…well, it looks like we have
a little show-off here. It's a boy."
A boy. The words echoed in my head, a wave of emotion washing
over me. A son. I pictured a little boy, with dark hair and warm brown
eyes, a miniature version of Jacob. The image was so vivid, so real,
that tears sprang to my eyes.
I thanked the doctor, collected the ultrasound pictures, and left the
office, the image of a little boy with Jacob's features burned into my
mind. The drive home was a blur of emotions. I was happy, excited,
terrified, and utterly heartbroken.
As I pulled into the driveway, I noticed a figure standing on the
porch. My heart leaped into my throat. It was Jacob. He stood there,
his posture rigid, his expression a mixture of confusion
and…something else I couldn't quite decipher.
My breath caught in my throat. He was home. He was really home.
After all these weeks, he was finally here. I parked the truck, my
hands trembling as I turned off the engine. I took a deep breath,
trying to calm the frantic beating of my heart. This was it. The
moment I had been both dreading and longing for. I opened the door
and stepped out, my eyes fixed on Jacob. He looked different.
Thinner, more worn, but his eyes held the same intensity that had
always drawn me to him.
He looked at me, his gaze sweeping over my form, lingering for a
moment on the slight curve of my stomach. A puzzled look crossed
his face, a flicker of confusion that quickly morphed into something
else, something that looked almost like…recognition?
The air crackled with tension, the silence between us thick with
unspoken words. I took a hesitant step towards him, my heart
pounding in my chest. This was it. The moment of truth.
Jacob POV
The slight curve of her abdomen, barely noticeable beneath the
loose fabric of her shirt, wasn't the only thing that caught my
attention. There was something else, a subtle shift in her demeanor,
a softness in her eyes that I hadn't seen before. And then I heard it. A
faint, rhythmic thump, a sound that resonated deep within me, a
sound I instantly recognized. A heartbeat.
"You're pregnant" I said, the words more of a statement than a
question. The realization hit me with the force of a physical blow. It
was impossible, unbelievable, yet the evidence was right there, in
front of me, undeniable.
"It's yours" Bella responded quickly, her eyes searching mine, a
flicker of fear in their depths. She didn't want me to jump to
conclusions, to assume something that wasn't true. But it was true.
I knew it in my heart.
"How far along are you?" I asked, my voice hoarse.
"Eighteen weeks", she replied, her gaze dropping to her stomach.
"Due November 21
st
".
November 21st. The date echoed in my mind, quickly calculating
the months a stark reminder of the night we… The night of my
birthday.
I stood there, silent, my mind reeling. I was going to be a father. The
thought was both exhilarating and terrifying. I couldn't believe it. I
was going to have a child, a child with Bella, the woman I loved, the
woman who had broken my heart.
The silence stretched between us, thick with unspoken emotions.
Bella shifted uncomfortably, her eyes searching mine, a silent plea
for some kind of reaction.
"It's a boy", she said softly, breaking the silence.
A boy. The image of a little boy, with Bella's eyes and…my hair,
flashed through my mind. The thought was both beautiful and
painful.
"How long have you known?" I asked, my voice barely above a
whisper.
"A few months" she replied, her gaze dropping to the ground.
"Did you know…the day you came to tell me you were sick?" I
asked, the question heavy with unspoken accusations.
She hesitated, her eyes meeting mine again. "I thought I might have
been" she admitted. "But…when I saw you…with Ana…I didn't want
to tell you something I wasn't sure was true. Or if…if I even wanted
it".
Her words hit me like a punch to the gut. She had seen me with Ana,
had assumed that I was happy, that I had moved on. And she had
decided, without even talking to me, that she didn't want our baby.
The pain was sharp, visceral.
"So you avoided me for weeks" I said, my voice laced with
bitterness. "Brushed me off, made me think you hated
me…because you weren't sure if you wanted to keep our baby?
Because you saw me with Ana?" The hurt and anger I had been
suppressing for weeks finally surged to the surface.
Bella's eyes filled with tears. "It wasn't completely like that" she
said, her voice trembling. "I didn't want to hurt you more than I
already had. And…the idea of me being a mother…it just sounded
like a cruel joke. I felt like if I…if I got rid of it, there was no reason to
tell you. No reason to cause you more pain".
"You're right" I said, my voice flat. "This…this hurts me too". The
pain was different now, sharper, more focused. It wasn't just the
pain of rejection, but the pain of knowing that she had considered,
even for a moment, ending the life, we had created. The life that was
growing inside her.
The silence returned, heavier now, charged with the weight of our
unspoken words. I looked at her, at the slight curve of her stomach,
at the woman I loved, the woman who was carrying my child. The
woman who had kept this secret from me for weeks, believing that it
was the best thing to do. The woman who, despite everything, I still
desperately wanted to be with.
Bella POV
"It's not like that, Jake," I said, my voice trembling. "It wasn't about
Ana, or even about you, really. It was… it was me. My clumsiness,
my insecurities… I've made such a mess of everything." The words
tumbled out in a rush, a desperate attempt to explain the turmoil
that had been raging inside me for months.
"I told Edward on our wedding day that I needed space, only to go
sleep with you," I continued, my voice cracking. "I'm a disaster,
Jake. I create chaos wherever I go. It wasn't about anyone else,
really. It was just me, and my own insecurities dictating my
judgment."
Jacob's expression hardened. "That's the problem, Bella. It's always
just about you. To hell with everyone else's feelings, right?"
"That's not fair," I retorted, feeling a surge of anger. "After I came to
the conclusion that I was keeping the baby, you had a right to know."
"I had a right to know either way," Jacob snapped, his voice rising.
"It's my body, Jake," I said, my voice shaking. "It was my choice."
"I respect that," he said, his voice softening slightly. "But what I
don't respect is you using the fact that I love you as a way to figure
out if you want to get married or not. Or brushing me off when I'm
not useful to you. Or saying you don't want to hurt me, when you're
only thinking of yourself in those moments, not me."
"I wanted to tell you," I said, my voice barely a whisper. "But you
ran."
"Of course I ran!" Jacob yelled, his voice echoing across the porch.
"Everything I've ever done has revolved around you for almost two
years now! And I love you, Bella. More than life itself. And you…
you're my imprint." He paused, his voice cracking. "I would die for
you, but you don't see what it's doing to me. I barely feel like myself
anymore."
The words hit me like a physical blow. He loved me. He had always
loved me. And I… I had been so blind, so caught up in my own
insecurities, that I hadn't seen it.
"I… I never meant to break you," I stammered, tears welling in my
eyes. I paused, a sudden realization dawning on me. "Wait… what
did you say? I'm your… your imprint?"
Jacob's expression softened, a flicker of sadness crossing his eyes.
"Ana was just there," he said quietly. "She made things easier. She
was easy to talk to, and sometimes… sometimes she did make me
happy. But she wasn't you, Bella. And I didn't want you to know
about the imprint because I wanted you to choose me because of
me, not some wolf claim or destiny decided for us."
The world seemed to tilt on its axis. I had been so wrong, so
completely and utterly wrong. I had assumed that Ana was his
imprint, that he had found happiness with someone else. But he
hadn't. He had imprinted on me. Me. The woman who had hurt him,
rejected him, used him. The woman who was carrying his child.
A wave of guilt washed over me, so intense that I felt physically sick.
I had been so focused on my own pain, my own insecurities, that I
hadn't seen the pain I was causing him. I had been so blind.
"Jake," I whispered, my voice choked with emotion. "I… I had no
idea."
He looked at me, his eyes filled with a mixture of sadness and
longing. "It doesn't matter now," he said quietly. "You made your
choice."
"No," I said, shaking my head. "No, I haven't. I… I choose you, Jake. I
always have."
Jacob turned to look at me, his eyes filled with a heartbreaking mix
of sadness and resignation. "You always chose me," he said, his
voice low and husky. "But only as your best friend. Never as the one
you wanted to spend your life with."
I stood there, frozen, tears streaming down my face. "I… I was just
confused," I stammered, the words feeling inadequate, hollow.
"Only about me," he said, a bitter edge creeping into his voice. "You
were never confused about your love for the leech, though. Willing
to risk your life, and all those around you, for him. Never me. It was
always him."
"No, Jake, don't say that," I pleaded, my voice breaking. "I was just…
I don't know. All I know is these past few months, all I could think
about was you."
"It was probably the imprint pull," he said, his voice flat. "You don't
actually love me like you think you do."
The words stung, a sharp jab at the fragile hope that had been
blooming in my chest. I opened my mouth to protest, to explain the
complex web of emotions that had been swirling within me for so
long, but the words wouldn't come. I stammered, jumbled words
tumbling out in a desperate attempt to convey the depth of my
feelings.
"I… I don't want to do this alone," I finally managed, my voice barely
a whisper.
Jacob scoffed, his shoulders shaking as he fought back tears. "You
won't be alone," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "I'll be there
for him. Not you." He turned and walked towards the tree line, his
silhouette stark against the twilight sky. I watched as he phased, his
human form dissolving into the powerful shape of the wolf, a
creature of wildness and freedom, a creature that was slipping away
from me.
"Jacob!" I cried out, my voice raw with desperation. "I won't give up
on us! I won't!"
He paused, his wolf form silhouetted against the trees, then
continued his journey into the forest, disappearing into the
shadows. I stood there, my heart aching, tears streaming down my
face. But even as despair threatened to engulf me, a spark of
determination ignited within me. I wouldn't give up. I couldn't. I had
made too many mistakes, hurt too many people. But this time, I
would fight. I would fight for Jacob, for our child, for the future that I
had almost thrown away.
