A/N: Hey there, everyone. Bet you weren't expecting another update to this collection so soon. Well, in addition to my usual exchange with The Cowardly Christian, I also owed him a (very late) birthday present. So here you go, another of his story ideas, as per his request. Hope you all enjoy it.

That's all for now, read on!

Disclaimer: Still don't own Invader Zim, y'all. Just the OCs.

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New Adventures: Mature Edition

Entry 5: Dances and Streaks

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At this time of day, the students of Doomsville Hi Skool would normally be drudging through their last classes and trying to will the clocks to move just a bit faster so they could hurry up and get out of there already. However, this was not a normal day, as the student body had been assembled in the gym for a special announcement from the Skool's administration. So, they crowded into the bleachers and sat uncomfortably, waiting with varying levels of patience for something to happen.

"Zim demands that something happen already!"

Or no patience at all, in some cases.

"I have much more important things to do than just sit around!" Zim ranted, ignoring the dirty looks everyone seated nearby was giving him for the sudden volume, "How many hours are they going to make us wait?!"

"It's been 10 minutes, you idiot," Tak grumbled from her spot on the next bench down from Zim. Of course, of all the places he could have sat down, it would have to be right behind her…

"Regardless! They are wasting my valuable Zim time!"

"Would you shut up before I shove all your teeth into the back of your throat?" Gaz growled from her own spot a few feet away on the same bench as Zim, which was empty except for the two of them; her presence had been enough to convince everyone else to pile on top of each other on other benches rather than run the risk of intruding on her personal space.

"Why are you even sitting here, Gaz-Beast? Zim would have thought you'd be seated next to your filthy sibling-unit," Zim asked, giving the Goth an inquisitive look.

"Because that would mean I'd also have to sit next to his stupid friends," Gaz muttered, gesturing to the other end of the bleachers, where Dib and the twins were barely visible through the crowd, "Compared to that, sitting next to you lot is almost tolerable. Though on the subject of people I'd actually want to sit with, where's Nyx been lately?"

"I'm morbidly curious about what that psychopath is up to myself," Tenn commented, glancing up from next to Tak.

"Hmm, oh, she found out about the time I accidentally created a slow explosion with a time dilation field and decided to recreate it for fun," Zim explained offhandedly, "Something got screwed up, so now she's stuck in the slow-field until it shuts down. Honestly don't know why that's taking so long – I threw Skoodge head first at its power source a week ago, he should have hit and broken it by now!"

"…You threw him into a time-slowing field, and you don't see why it's taking him a long time to pass through it?" Tenn asked flatly.

"Don't say that like you expect him to use common sense," Tak sneered. Zim glared at the back of her head, but before he could say anything, Miss Bitters suddenly swooped into the center of the room, all conversation immediately ceasing and all eyes turning to her.

"Alright, I hate being around this many of you at once, so listen carefully so we can get this over with quickly. This is an announcement from the Skool Administration," the old crone stated with a glare. The wall behind her slid open to reveal a large TV screen, which flickered on to display the shadowy form of the Skool's Principal. As ever, the mysterious man was holding and stroking a beaver that was in turn holding and stroking a small toy, as he stared ominously at his audience.

"Greetings, children," the Principal said, "It has been decided by the city's Skool Board that we haven't been doing enough to combat misery among our student body – as if that's our responsibility – so we have been ordered to provide you all with entertainment. As such, a dance shall be held here at the Hi Skool next Friday."

An excited murmur ran through the assembled teens at that, only to immediately quiet down as Miss Bitters glared at them all, while the Principal continued without pause.

"To clarify, attendance will be mandatory," he declared, "If we're going to be forced to do this for you ingrates, you're all going to contribute. Speaking of which, we will be charging tickets for the dance, so you must buy one in order to attend. All proceeds will definitely be going to paying for setting everything up, and we will not at all be using the majority to set up a vacation slush fund for the teachers."

That got a few raised eyebrows from the few members of the crowd who weren't totally oblivious, but they were all smart enough not to vocally question it.

"Furthermore, as our poorly-paid researchers have informed us, parties are somehow more fun if they have a theme," the Principal continued, "As such, we have assembled a collection of suggestions, from which we will now draw the winning theme."

At that cue, Nny the creepy janitor wheeled in a large lottery-style device, the plastic ball composing the main body filled with balled up slips of paper. With an utterly bored look on his face, the homicidal maniac turned the machine on, causing the paper balls to bounce around like popcorn for a few minutes before coming to a halt. He then opened a hatch in the side, reached in, and pulled out one of the slips at random, unfolding it to read it.

"A jungle theme, where the gym is decorated to look like a rainforest… and all the guys wear loincloths and all the girls wear leopard skin bikinis?" Nny read the slip in disbelief, before looking up at the Principal's screen in disgust, "What pervert thought this up?"

"…We might have all gotten a little drunk before we started pitching ideas," the Principal admitted with an awkward shrug, "Anyway, the choice is made! You all now have until the end of next week to buy tickets and costumes. Have a nice day… or don't, I've been at this job too long to care at this point."

With that unceremonious end, the screen switched off and the wall covered it up again. There was a confused and awkward silence for a few moments, and then Miss Bitters broke it.

"Well, you heard him. Attendance and the stated costumes are mandatory," she declared, "Anyone who fails to show up, or does so while inappropriately attired, will be sentenced to the Underground Classrooms. Anyone stupid enough to have questions about this?"

"Wait a minute!" Dib called out, earning a groan from his teacher, "So not only are we being forced to attend this thing, but you're seriously going to punish us if we don't agree to do it half-naked?"

"I don't know what you're complaining about, I'd think all you walking puddles of hormonal goo would be happy for a chance to get an eyeful of each other," Miss Bitters sneered, causing varying amounts of blushing among the audience.

"Is it even legal to make us do this?" Viera demanded.

"Have you met the cops in this town, kid?" Nny scoffed from where he was now leaning casually against the lottery machine, "This is gross, but as long as they're not forcing you all to go outright naked, I kinda doubt anyone's gonna care."

"Alright, enough mindless chitchat. You've all heard what's going to happen and the consequences, now get out of my sight and go be someone else's problem!" Miss Bitters snapped as the bell rang to signal the end of the Skool day. She then swept out without another word, Nny casually following after her, and the assembled students soon getting up and leaving as well.

"What nonsense. Zim sees no point in having to dress up as even more primitive versions of humans and standing around watching these fools try to more rhythmically to bad music," Zim scoffed as he made his way towards the nearest exit.

"Much as it physically pains me to agree with you on anything, I will in regards to this," Tak said, "This is stupid, and an utter waste of time. And I have enough human half-wits undressing me with their eyes without making it easy for them by only dressing halfway. I cannot think of anything more indignant to do to myself."

"Really? Because I can think of a certain time you needed my help to get out of a certain situation that was far more embarrassing," Tenn commented with a smirk, Tak flushing as the sudden flashback to the lift Tenn had given her away from that nudist commune.

"Shut up! We agreed to never speak of that again!" she snarled at her partner.

"Eh? What was this?" Zim asked, looking between the two females curiously.

"None of your Irk-damned business!" Tak yelled at him, "And why are you even walking next to us, anyway?!"

"Zim was walking this way first! Go find your own way out!"

As the two rivals fell into a screaming match, Tenn rolling her eyes at them, Gaz ignored the group and walked past them, quickly making her way out of the building. As she walked, she couldn't help but overhear everyone around her discussing this news, their reactions varying from embarrassment to excitement to lots of teasing and flirtation about all the bare skin that was going to be on display.

"Who the hell wants to expose themselves like?" she mentally grumbled in disgruntlement, subconsciously tugging on her baggy shirt as she pictured herself in some skimpy two-piece that wouldn't cover up much of anything. She was pretty sure no one in this Skool would be stupid enough to mock her lack of curves to her face, but she just knew that leaving so much of her figure out in the open for everyone to see would lead to endless mockery behind her back, which her ego just couldn't stand.

"Screw it, I'm not dealing with this bullshit," she muttered as she started walking home, already putting her mind towards figuring out some loophole that would enable her to get out of this setup.

A Week and a Half Later

Needless to say, Gaz had been completely out of luck.

Oh, she'd tried as hard as she could to convince her father to use his connections to find some legal way of overriding the mandatory aspect of the dance so she could get out of it. But while the Professor had admittedly been uncomfortable with the theme of the party, he'd decided that "the psychological benefits of socializing with her age peers" would be good for her, so opted not to interfere with things. In fact, he'd even gone so far as to pay for her and Dib's tickets, so she didn't even have a chance to figure out how to get away with "forgetting" to buy one.

After that, she'd tried to fake getting sick with a number of illnesses so that she'd have an excuse to sit out the dance. But then her father had coincidentally introduced a new all-purpose medicine that would have cured any of her "sicknesses" if she'd tried to present herself as ill, so that idea was off the board. As was the desperate thought that popped up afterwards of actually intentionally breaking a limb to get out of going, since not only was she not a masochist, knowing her father he'd probably just stick her in a cyborg harness and make her even more mobile than usual, which would defeat the whole purpose.

On it went, Gaz grasping at straws through the week and into the next, until finally with only two days left until the dance, she finally swallowed her pride and admitted she had no choice. She'd have to attend the stupid thing, in the ridiculous outfit, and if anyone made any smart comments about how she looked in it (or she even suspected they were when she wasn't listening), she'd claw their faces off.

Just one problem – she couldn't find a leopard skin bikini to save her life.

Yes, it seemed that by stubbornly waiting until practically the last minute, Gaz had blown her chance at finding one. Every costume and prop store in the city had been cleared out, as had every fabric store that would have provided raw materials someone could have made an outfit from scratch with. Hell, even the city zoo's entire population of leopards had been overrun and stripped of their fur by ravenous mobs of teen girls desperate to avoid being sent to the Underground Classrooms. As such, Gaz had spent every free moment of the last two days frantically searching for someplace where she could find a leopard skin bikini or something to make one from, and was quite frankly completely out of luck.

"Oh, come on!" she shouted at the bleached-blonde twentysomething woman who was sitting behind the counter of the store she was in, "You cannot tell me that even you don't have single fur bikini left in stock!"

"I don't know what you expect, kid," the clerk replied in a bored tone, not looking up from her phone.

"I expect you to actually live up to your damn advertisement!" Gaz growled, pointing towards the storefront window, which proudly read "All-Purpose Fetish Costume Shop: Whatever You Need, We Have, No Questions Asked".

"Not my fault, a bunch of teens came through a few days ago and bought up our whole stock," the clerk replied with a shrug.

"Dammit!" Gaz yelled, slamming her fists down on the countertop, "This was the last place I could find, and the stupid dance starts in a couple of hours! Now what the fuck do I do?!"

"Not my problem. So either buy something else or get out; either way, stop bugging me with your whining," the clerk replied, earning a glare from Gaz.

"I'm not whining, you airheaded bimbo, this is serious!" she snapped, causing the clerk to actually look up from her phone with a glare of her own, "If I don't show up to the dance meeting their ridiculous dress code, I'm going to get punished for something that's not even my fault!"

"Oh yeah?" the clerk asked, pointedly looking Gaz over with a sneer, "Well, how about just grabbing a loincloth instead? You look like that's all you'd need, tiny."

WHAM

SMACK

CRACK

GURGLE

As the clerk fell to the floor and choked on the phone that had been shoved halfway down her throat, a fuming and furious Gaz stomped out of the store and down the street, heading home practically on autopilot as her angry thoughts swirled in her head. She was now completely out of options, and she knew it, and the fact she didn't even have a proper outlet for her frustration was only making it worse.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," she muttered with each stomp, the lengthening shadows caused by the setting sun matching her ever-darkening mood, "What am I supposed to do? Even I don't want to mess with whatever's in the Underground Classrooms. Dammit, why didn't I just swallow my pride and get a damn bikini sooner? I don't care what people think of me, I'd just gouge their eyes out if they looked like they were going to say anything about my looks! Fuck, fuck, fu-OOF!"

Gaz was cut off as, having not been paying attention to where she was going, she turned a corner and bumped right into someone, causing them both to fall to the ground. Composing herself, Gaz growled and opened her mouth to snap at whoever had dared to get in her way, only to groan as she processed who was now in front of her.

"Oh great, it's you," she grumbled at the sight of Viera. Apparently in the process of walking towards her own neighborhood, she'd ended up in the one the twins lived in. And of course, in keeping with the terrible luck she'd been having since the dance was announced, she'd just had to literally run into the person she least wanted to see.

"Yeah, nice to see you too," Viera returned in the same tone, as she stood up and adjusted the leopard skin bikini she was wearing, which had shifted slightly from the impact.

"Ugh, and of course this fake Goth bitch manages to make that ridiculous thing look good," Gaz thought in disgruntlement as she also stood up. Viera, meanwhile, gave her a look-over and raised an eyebrow.

"Cutting it kind of close to change and head over to the Skool, aren't you?" she asked.

"What I'm wearing is none of your business," Gaz snapped.

"Geeze, what's got you in a worse mood than usual? Do you not actually have one of these to change into?" Viera asked sarcastically, only to blink in surprise when Gaz tensed at the question, "Wait, really? You've had like two weeks to get one! Wow, I knew you were kinda lazy, but you seriously put something this important off until the last minute?"

"Shut your mouth before I strangle you with your own tongue!" Gaz snarled, shoving past Viera to continue stomping her way home.

"Hey, don't blame me for your bad choices!" Viera replied over her shoulder, before scoffing and starting to walk in the other direction to make her way to the Skool. Unfortunately for her, that proved to be the straw that broke the camel's back in regards to Gaz's temper; perversely happy to now have someone to take all her anger and frustration out on, she grabbed a nearby trashcan and flung it at Viera, hitting the other girl in the back of the head and causing her to collapse in a heap on the ground, knocked out cold.

"Stuck-up bitch," Gaz growled, "That'll teach you to look down on me. Thinking you're better than me just because you have one of those things and I… don't… Hmm."

An idea born of equal parts desperation and malice formed in Gaz's mind as she loomed over the unconscious Viera. A devilish smirk twisting her face, she leaned down and moved Viera around in order to slip the bikini top off of her, and after letting her flop back down to the pavement, moved to grab her bikini bottom and with a yank, slid that down her legs to remove it as well.

"Not so smug now, are you?" Gaz laughed at the sight of her rival laying nude on the ground. She was considering taking Viera's shoes as well, just for the hell of it, when the other girl groaned and started to move as she started to regain consciousness. Seeing this, and deciding that she'd gotten all that she needed, Gaz slowly backed away, grinning in anticipation as she kept Viera in her sight, wanting to see her reaction.

"Gah, what hit me?" Viera muttered as she settled on her knees and one hand, while the other rubbed her sore head. She then blinked as she saw Gaz standing nearby, smirking nastily at her.

"Lose something?" Gaz asked with a laugh, holding up the two pieces of the leopard bikini. Viera stared in confusion for a moment, then her eyes bugged out as she comprehended what was happening. Looking down at herself to confirm it, she gave a high-pitched shriek and jumped into a nearby bush for cover, face burning bright red.

"What the hell is wrong with you?! Give that back!" she yelled, head poking out of the bush as far as she dared, somehow managing to glare at Gaz even as her eyes darted around to see if anyone else was in sight.

"Nah, I think I'll keep it, thanks. Have fun thinking of a way to explain why you didn't show up to the dance without admitting you were stuck streaking," Gaz cackled, turning and running off in the direction of the Hi Skool. Viera could only watch as she disappeared down the street, too mortified to even think about chasing after her until it was too late, and Gaz was out of sight.

"Shit," Viera spat, huddling in the bush and covering herself with her arms as best she could. She had no idea what she was supposed to do now – sure, she was near her house, but Steve had bit the bullet about being seen in these jungle outfits in public faster than she had and headed to the Skool an hour earlier, and their parents were out for the night, which altogether meant there was no one to let her back in. And her keys and phone had been in hidden interior pockets of the bikini, so she couldn't let herself in or call for help either, leaving her stuck outside in the buff.

And even if she could get back inside, then what? Because of that insane mandatory attendance rule, if she didn't show up at the Skool for the dance, she'd be tracked down and tossed in the Underground Classrooms. And while she was pretty sure that no one in the administration would care about an excuse, if they did want one, what excuse could she give except the truth? Which would then no doubt get leaked through the Skool's rumor mill and make her a laughingstock, on top of everything else.

No, it was unfortunate beyond comprehension, but she could only see one way out, no matter how ludicrous it might seem – she had to get her stolen clothes back, even if it meant streaking after Gaz.

"God, this is insane," she muttered with an intense blush as she ripped part of the bush free and held it pressed against her front, while also grabbing the lid of the trashcan that Gaz had hit her with and holding that behind her to cover her ass. Then, taking a deep breath to brace herself, she started running down the street in the same direction Gaz had gone, hoping she'd be able to catch her and retrieve her clothes before anyone saw her.

Membrane Household, Same Time

Unknowingly much like Viera, Dib had dithered for several hours on leaving for the dance, feeling very self-conscious about heading towards the Skool while half-naked. However, as the hours ticked by and the sun set, he eventually decided that he had to just get it over with, and so hesitantly made his way out of the house, shutting the door behind him.

"Okay, you can do this, just like everyone else is," he said to himself as he took a breath to brace himself. As he did so, however, he failed to notice Zim peeking out from behind a parked car down the street. Like Dib, the Irken was dressed in only a loincloth and shoes, with his PAK painted in a poor camo coloration to try and blend in with his body, as he knew that even the most oblivious human would probably wonder why he was wearing his "backpack" alongside his costume.

"Ugh, look at this worm-baby displaying his hideous body for all to see," Zim scoffed, "It's bad enough Zim is being forced to show off his magnificent form for all unworthy eyes, but must I see the bare body of every Earth-monkey in the Skool? It just makes them even more disgusting, isn't that right?"

Zim waited for a response, only to be greeted by silence. Looking around, he blinked as he realized he was alone.

"Oh, right. GIR and Minimoose went out clubbing together, and everyone else is still stuck in that slow-field," he remembered, disappointed at a lack of an audience to his monologuing. However, after a moment he shook it off and returned his focus to where Dib appeared to be hesitant to go much further than his front porch, which reminded him of why he was here.

Over the last two weeks, as Zim had reluctantly gone along with getting ready for this idiotic party (why couldn't they have gone with a better theme, like "Declare Zim the supreme leader of the world"?), he couldn't help but overhear all the conversations the other students were having about it. He'd been nauseated to the pits of his squeedlyspooch by all the talk from many about showing off their appearances, like wild Gooshlogs in mating season, but that hadn't been all he'd heard. There'd also been many discussions about how embarrassing such displays would be for a lot of the student body, especially those worried about possible "wardrobe malfunctions". Zim, not understanding how large cabinets could malfunction or what that had to do with anything, had researched the expression, and been disgusted by the results. However, once he was done retching at the images, he'd been hit with inspiration for a new plan – specifically one to use this situation to publicly humiliate Dib.

Yes, it was petty and he knew it. He also didn't care; he'd take any victory over his nemesis he could get.

As such, Zim watched carefully as Dib slowly started walking towards the sidewalk, and grinned as he saw a group of Girly Scouts coming down the street and taking pictures of everything around them, probably for a merit badge of some sort. Grinning nastily at the happy coincidence, Zim removed a high-tech crossbow from his PAK and, taking careful aim, fired it in Dib's direction. The bolt flew true, just barely missing hitting Dib directly and instead catching on the edge of his loincloth-

RIP

-and the momentum of the passing bolt caused the loincloth to tear clean off of Dib's body, the bolt carrying it off to disappear somewhere off in the distance. Dib, meanwhile, froze in place at the sound and sensation of the tearing cloth, as well as the sudden draft that overcame him. Looking down in confusion, his eyes widened in shock.

"What the-?!" he exclaimed, instinctively covering himself with his hands as he blushed brightly, which only grew as he heard the approaching scouts.

"Hahaha! That's right, Dib-Stink, be prepared for utter humil- wait, what?" Zim started to gloat, only to trail off in shock as Dib snapped himself out of his surprise and embarrassment and moved quickly to reach into a nearby bush and pull out… a satchel full of spare loincloths?!

"Phew, that was close!" Dib sighed in relief as he pulled one of the extra loincloths on, "Good thing I thought to get all these spares. I've seen enough comedies to know how likely losing one is, and I'm not going through that cliché."

"Hey, look! It's another guy in a loincloth!" one of the Girly Scouts commented as the group passed by Dib's house.

"Geez, teenagers are weird," another scout said, even as she and the others took several pictures of a flustered Dib, before walking off without another word.

Zim, for his part, grit his teeth in annoyance as he watched all this. How dare Dib be genre savvy enough to avoid a plan of Zim's that he didn't even know existed?! This was an insult to Zim's genius, and it would not stand!

"Enjoy your lack of embarrassment while it lasts, Dib-Monkey, for it will not last long!" Zim declared, following after Dib from a distance as the human walked down the street towards the Skool, satchel of spare loincloths slung over one shoulder.

Doomsville Hi Skool, Same Time

The gymnasium had been decked out to look like jungle. Or rather, like a cheap B-movie imitation of what people thought jungles are supposed to look like. A lot of fake trees, many of them of species that wouldn't be found in an actual rainforest, had been propped up in clusters around the room, rubber vines stretching between most of them to set up a canopy. Plastic animals, most of them not native to ecosystems even close to each other, had also been positioned all over the place, while hidden speakers played stock jungle noises and fog machines generated a low-hanging mist that clung to the floor. The bleachers had been retracted to create room for numerous tables of food and drink, as well as a DJ station that was blaring music, while the main space of the room had been left empty to be used as a dance floor.

Steve stood by himself in one corner, like every other guy clad in just a loincloth and shoes. He was sipping from a plastic cup of punch as he idly watched the throngs of other students wildly dancing to the obnoxious techno music that the DJ was playing. While many were sticking to the fringes out of awkward embarrassment, the more confidant and bold ones were using the excuse to show off their bodies as much as they could, in a display that Steve could only shake his head at.

"Seriously, how was this setup legal? It looks like a cheap porno," he muttered as he took another sip of his drink.

"I dunno, it looks kinda fun."

Steve promptly inhaled his drink, dropping his cup and needing to cough for a solid minute to clear his airways. When that was done, however, he was left wide-eyed in a mix of shock and terror as he processed the horribly familiar voice that had piped up from next to him.

"Oh no," he wheezed, as he slowly turned to face the voice's source. When he did, he was greeted by the sight of a certain dryad, still utterly naked except for the leaves covering her nipples and genitals, leaning provocatively against one of the fake trees and smirking at him.

"Hey there, Firm Buns! Miss me?" Kleodora asked chipperly.

"Stop calling me that!" Steve snapped with a blush, "And why are you even here?! I thought dryads never leave the forest!"

Kleodora arched a moss-green eyebrow and playfully gestured to their surroundings.

"I meant a real forest, and you know it!"

"You are just too easy to wind up," she replied with a giggle, "And to answer your question, we prefer not to enter urban areas, but that doesn't mean we can't."

"Okay, fine, but what about why you're here?" Steve demanded.

"Aw, come on, didn't you miss me?" she asked, fluttering her eyelashes at him.

"You stripped me naked and made me chase you through the woods, where I almost got beaten to a pulp by multiple groups of nutjobs," he replied flatly.

"…is that a no?"

Steve groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. He knew that a lot of guys would probably be thrilled at the thought of an extremely sexy girl being obsessed with them, but the fact that she was a clearly unhinged magical creature was pretty much crushing any enjoyment he might have gotten from the situation.

"Look, can you please just leave before you cause a scene?" he asked with a desperate sigh.

"Well, that's a fine way to treat me after I came all this way to pay you a visit," Kleodora said with a haughty sniff, "What, you worried your date will get jealous if she sees us together?"

"I don't have a date," Steve replied, and then immediately realized that was a mistake when Kleodora's eyes lit up.

"Really? Well, it just so happens that I don't, either," she said with a lusty smile, "So how about you show a girl a good time?"

"And if I say no?" Steve asked. Kleodora frowned at that, then smirked and snapped her fingers. Steve tensed as there was a small flash of light from Kleodora's fingers, then relaxed when nothing seemed to happen… then his loincloth suddenly dissolved into smoke.

"GAH! What the hell?!" Steve exclaimed, face burning red as he clasped his hands over his crotch, eliciting more giggles from Kleodora.

"Careful, you don't want to be loud enough to get people's attention over the music and have them looking over here," she said, before rolling her eyes as Steve glared at her, "Oh, calm down, you spoilsport. That smoke is magically enhanced so that no one outside its perimeter can see through it, and by happy coincidence it's blending in with this fake fog, so no one will even question it. Unless, of course, I decide to disperse that magic, in which case it's just regular smoke that won't cover much."

Steve somehow managed to both go pale and blush deeper at the mental image that implied threat conjured.

"But of course, I won't do that," Kleodora continued, "So long as you agree to dance with me, I'll keep that overly-sensitive modesty you mortals care so much about intact, and I'll even restore your loincloth at the end of the night. Agreed?"

"…See, it's stuff like this that makes you come across as a creepy harassing stalker," Steve grumbled, but before Kleodora could even start to get angry at that comment, he quickly added, "But yeah, sure, whatever. Let's dance and get this over with."

"Great!" Kleodora said happily, grabbing Steve's arm and dragging him onto the dance floor. And of course, her unusual appearance didn't fall to catch everyone's attention.

"Who the hell is that?" Zita asked, from where she was dancing with Torque.

"I dunno, but she's hot as hell," the jock mused, enjoying the sight of Kleodora's mostly-nude body undulating as she danced around a mostly unresponsive and clearly uncomfortable Steve, "What's she doing wasting her time with Dib's nerd friend? Maybe I should go introduce myself and show her what a real man is."

"Excuse me? You're here as my date, not some cosplaying skank's!" Zita snapped, grabbing his arm and forcibly dragging him away, "Come on, let those two weridos dance with each other by themselves, or I'll kick your nuts in so hard they come out your mouth. Got it?"

Torque paled and nodded in acquiescence, quickly following after her. And as similar conversations happened around the dance floor, equal amounts of admiration and envy aimed at the impromptu couple, they continued to dance the night away, oblivious to anything outside their current situation.

Some Time Later, Outside the Building

By now, most of the student body had arrived at the Hi Skool, but a few stragglers were still trickling in at this point. Gaz was one of these, her stolen leopard bikini folded up and tucked under one arm as she walked up the steps to the entrance, where Nny was lounging at a folding table with a cheap "Check-In" sign posted to its front and a computer attached to a security camera atop it. Nny himself was cleaning his nails with an almost comically oversized hunting knife, which he glanced up from as Gaz approached, arching an eyebrow at her.

"Wow, you actually thought ahead to change here instead of at home and walking over in one of these dumb outfits?" he asked, sounding legitimately impressed, "Congratulations, that makes you part of a group so small I can count it on one hand. I think everyone else is a closet exhibitionist or something."

"Whatever," Gaz said, rolling her eyes as she paused to let the camera scan her. When her image popped up on the computer screen with a ping, registering her arrival, she walked in without another word and made her way towards the girls' locker room. Just as she approached it, though, the door opened and she was surprised to see Tak and Tenn emerging into the hallway, both clad in the required outfits.

"Really? You both actually went through with attending this thing?" she asked in disbelief.

"Oh, believe me, I'd have loved to have found a way to weasel out of this nonsense, but I've learned not to risk earning the ire of the Skool Board," Tak admitted with a shudder.

"Agreed. For perfectly ordinary humans, they're nearly as terrifying as Miss Bitters," Tenn stated with a firm nod, before shooting her partner a look, "But remind me again why I let you talk me into actually physically changing into these ridiculous costumes instead of just altering our holograms to make it look like we did? I would have thought you'd have learned your lesson about that sort of thing after last time."

"Stop bringing that up!" Tak snapped, "And like I already said, I'm not willing to take the chance that the holograms won't glitch out or someone won't brush up against us and feel that what we're actually wearing doesn't match what we appear to have on."

"Well, this is all really fascinating," Gaz said dryly before Tenn could argue Tak's point, "But it actually isn't. So would you two nitwits mind getting out of my way so I can get in there and change?"

The Irkens glared at her in response, but wisely chose not to react, instead parting and walking around her to start heading down the hall.

"Before we head in, let's swing by the cafeteria," Gaz heard Tenn say as they walked off, "I'm fairly certain there was some kind of parasitic fungus in the mashed potatoes this morning, and I want to cultivate some samples. You never know when that might be useful."

Tak grumbled something in response as they disappeared around a corner, Gaz watching them go. As she did, she grit her teeth in annoyance; it was probably just because of their holographic disguises, but dammit, they looked incredible in those leopard bikinis too. And practically every other girl in the Skool would as well, she thought in aggravation as she looked down at herself.

"Might need to pad this out a little," she muttered, walking into the locker room.

Meanwhile, back outside the Hi Skool, Viera was eyeing the entrance from around a corner of the building. The bush fronds she was using to cover her front were ratty and falling apart, her arms were exhausted from holding them and the trashcan lid covering her ass in place, and her dignity was in shambles after the sheer number of wolf whistles, catcalls, and outraged shouts that had been flung at her as she'd streaked her way towards the Skool. Hell, she was pretty sure that the only reason she hadn't been arrested for indecent exposure was because Donut Emporium was having a 2-for-1 deal and every cop in town was too preoccupied to answer calls.

But now, after all that, she had failed to catch up to Gaz before she could reach the Skool and enter it, leaving Viera stranded outside. After all, she couldn't just go through the front door like this! …Well, she could, but not only was she not interested in giving that psychotic janitor an eyeful of her (again, she noted with an eye twitch at the sudden flashback to the previous time she'd ended up streaking because of Gaz, which was becoming far too frequent an activity), but she knew she'd be caught on the check-in camera in her current state, and then she'd be punished for streaking on Skool grounds. Or just for not being in costume, like they were obsessed with for whatever reason. So in any case, the front door was a no-go for her.

"Okay, think. There's got to be another way in," she mused. After a few moments of though, an idea came to her, and turned around the other direction of the corner she was cowering behind, heading towards the back of the building. Before long, she found what she was looking for, a back door that led into the cafeteria, which she could hopefully use to get inside, and then figure out how to find Gaz and recover her bikini before anyone saw her.

Unfortunately, to her frustration she found that the door was locked from the inside, and wouldn't budge no matter what she did.

"Dammit! Now what?" she grumbled. Looking around in desperation, her gaze fell on a ventilation grate partway up the side of the building. Grasping this as her only chance, she reluctantly dropped her makeshift cover and scrambled up the wall as fast as she could, soon gripping the grate as hard as she could and yanking it off, before squirming her way into the air vent.

"Movies and TV make this look a lot easier," she muttered as she squeezed her way through the vent. But she pushed the discomfort aside as she pressed on, determined to find Gaz and fix this situation.

Now if she could only figure out how…

XXXXXXX

Elsewhere in the building, Zim was grinding his teeth to nubs in annoyance as he stalked Dib through the halls. He'd hounded Dib every step of the way here, and done everything he could think of to steal his loincloths and publicly humiliate him – he'd used robotic arms to discretely snatch them off his body from a distance, splashed them with chemicals that made them dissolve, sprayed them with pheromones that made dogs want to rip them off (but sadly not maul Dib in the process), even bribed random hobos to run up and steal them right off his body. And all those things had worked, but the problem was that each time, Dib would quickly pull another loincloth out of his satchel and slip it on before anyone could see anything.

Zim had gotten his hopes up momentarily when, after Dib's latest loincloth had "spontaneously" burst into flame and needed to be torn off, Dib had tossed the now empty satchel aside, apparently out of spares… and then he'd ducked into an alleyway and retrieved another satchel from its hiding spot behind a dumpster. Zim had had to shove his own fist into his mouth to avoid screaming in frustration and blowing his cover to his nemesis, and continue to follow him towards the Hi Skool.

By this point, Zim was at his wit's end. He probably could have just given up at this point, but his stubbornness effused to budge on the subject – he'd set out to use this situation to humiliate Dib and thus win a minor victory, and by Irk he wasn't going to let that chance slip away from him! Hence why he was now pressed against the wall in the hallway leading directly to the gym, haven't run ahead in order to lay in wait for Dib and prepare his final gambit to remove not just Dib's loincloth but all his spares as well.

"Wait, why didn't I just destroy the satchel to begin with?" he asked himself as that thought suddenly crossed his mind. Before he could process it however, Dib rounded the hallway corner and came to a sudden halt as he saw Zim standing there.

"Wha- Zim?" he exclaimed in confusion, which was all the cue that the Invader needed.

"Eat fabric vaporizer, Dib-Stink!" he cackled, lifting the large bazooka-looking device he was holding in his hands and pulling the trigger. A wave of bluish-purple energy was expelled from the barrel and washed over Dib before he could even try to dodge it, and Zim watched with glee as the loincloth dissolved into atoms, followed by the satchel falling apart and its contents likewise dissolving.

Zim began to laugh in victory, only to cut off with a choke as he saw Tak and Tenn suddenly emerge from around another corner further down the hallway. Caught completely unaware of the situation, the two females were unable to avoid the still discharging vaporization energy flowing down the hall, and it hit them dead on. And not only did their leopard bikinis promptly dissolve like Dib's loincloths had, but their holograms were overloaded and shorted out, leaving their natural Irken forms exposed in the truest sense of the word.

"…Oops," Zim said, an odd mix of fear and arousal overcoming him. Dib, meanwhile, didn't see what had just happened to the other Irkens behind him, instead focusing on looking himself over to see if he'd been injured or otherwise affected by whatever Zim had just done to him, going wide-eyed as he was greeted once again by his own nudity, this time with no additional loincloths on standby to cover back up with.

"What the hell?! You jackass!" Dib shouted, blushing brightly as he immediately covered himself with his hands, "Why would you even-!"

"ZIIIIIMMMMMM!" two outraged voices suddenly roared in unison. Cut off from his own anger, Dib spun around and his vision was suddenly filled by the visage of two fully nude Irken women rushing down the hall in his direction, which understandably blocked out any other conscious thought.

Seriously, why the hell would insectoid aliens have breasts, much less ones that big?

Zim, for his part, found his mixed feelings suddenly being shifted fully into fear at the sight of unbridled fury rapidly approaching him. Self-preservation instincts kicking in, he dropped his vaporizer and moved to grab Skoodge and throw him at the others as a distraction… and then belatedly remembered that he was standing there alone.

Uh-oh.

WHAM

BAM

SMACK

POW

TEAR

In the gym, the music had drowned out Tak and Tenn's infuriated cries and the sounds of their violent vengeance, but even if it hadn't been playing so loud, it's doubtful anyone would have noticed any noises outside the room, not with their collective attention focused on the dance floor. Kleodora and Steve were still dancing, though by now they were the only ones doing so, as everyone else had pulled back to watch them with a mixed bag of emotions – the boys were lustfully staring at Kleodora while glaring enviously at Steve for capturing her attention, and the girls were glaring at her for getting the boys' attention (while also reluctantly admitting to themselves that Steve was surprisingly and impressively jacked for a "nerd loser"). The pair were oblivious to all this though, continuing to dance, all while Steve was begrudgingly enjoying himself despite the circumstances.

BAM

And that was when the gym doors were slammed open from the force of Zim being thrown into them, leaving him to tumble through the air for a few feet before smacking into the floor. Groaning and bruised all over, he stumbled back to his feet just as the crowd turning to see what had caused the loud disturbance behind them… and then they all burst all laughing.

"Eh? What are you pig-smellies all laughing at?" he demanded, looking down at himself in confusion. Then he gave an impressively high-pitched shriek as he realized that his loincloth had been torn off, leaving him as naked as he'd worked to render Dib.

"Oh, wow, that is just sad!"

"No wonder he's always shouting, he's got to compensate for something!"

"It's like a sprig of grass!"

Zim's face flushed a much darker shade of green as he clasped his hands over his crotch, anger at the humans for daring to insult their natural superiors being overwhelmed by his humiliation at the situation.

"S-silence!" he demanded, voice cracking in an embarrassed squeak, "Avert your gazes! You stink-apes have no right to look upon Zim's mighty anatomy!"

"'Mighty'? More like tiny!"

"Yeah, I guess your height wasn't the only thing lacking, huh short-stuff?"

Precious ego broken by the unending amount of jeers, Zim only lasted a few more seconds before he finally folded. Screaming incoherently, he turned and bolted out of the room, dashing past Tak, Tenn, and a shellshocked Dib to vanish down the hall. He ultimately wouldn't stop until he got home, but only after being seen by half the city on the way there.

"Well, that was almost worth having to suffer this indignity," Tak laughed as she dropped the shreds that she'd reduced Zim's stolen loincloth to.

"Speak for yourself," Tenn muttered, before glaring at Dib, who was gawking at the pair with some very mixed emotions, "And if you have anything to say, Dib, I highly suggest you don't. Got it?"

Dib instinctively threw his hands up defensively, only to blush even deeper as the girls snickered and he realized he'd just uncovered himself.

"I, uh, bye!" he yelped, covering himself again and turning to run off in the direction of the boys' locker room, where he'd hidden a third loincloth satchel just in case.

The females laughed as they watched him go, only to trail off as they remembered that they weren't much better off than he was at the moment.

"Uh, so, we should probably recover our clothes from the locker room," Tenn said quickly, "We probably need to get back to base to fix our holograms, though."

"That's fine, I wasn't planning on staying too long anyway, just enough that people would acknowledge we attended. We're registered as being here, that'll have to do," Tak replied. The pair quickly started making their way back to the locker room, though along the way, Tak couldn't help but smirk and add, "Either way, you must be glad I insisted we change, aren't you?"

"Oh, shut up!" Tenn snapped, rolling her eyes as they rushed down the hall.

For the next few minutes, the hallway was quiet except for the music emanating from the gym. Then Gaz came around a corner, having just missed the streaking Irken pair, as she'd been otherwise occupied. After changing into the stolen bikini and determining that she did in fact hate how she looked in it, she'd taken a detour to the nearest girls' bathroom, where she had proceeded to stuff the entirety of a roll of toilet paper into the top, then adjusting it in order to hide this fact. As a side effect, the top was now ridiculously bloated, but Gaz was just fine with that.

"All those assholes and airheads will be too stupid to question it," she muttered to reassure herself, "And if anyone accuses me of stuffing, I'll just bend their spines like pretzels. That'll shut up any other smart comments."

With that in mind, Gaz continued to strut towards the gym door – only for an air vent grate in the ceiling above her to suddenly burst open, and Viera came falling out to land on top with Gaz with a cry that was equal parts angry and desperate.

"Give me back my outfit, you psycho!" she yelled, scrambling to try and grab the bikini off of Gaz even as the other girl struggled to get out from under her.

"Get off me, bitch, I stole it fair and square!" Gaz growled back, trying to hit Viera but unable to land any solid blows thanks to the awkward angle.

They struggled like this for several minutes, before finally Gaz managed to brace herself and leap up, tossing Viera off and sending her crashing to the floor. Unfortunately for the purple-haired girl, Viera had managed to get a good grip on the bikini top and shifted it enough that her sudden movement caused it to pull clean off of Gaz's body, the stuffed-in toilet paper padding spilling onto the floor. Viera blinked at that, looking between the toilet paper, the top in her hand, and the now topless Gaz, who had shakily gotten back on her feet but had frozen in shock as she also realized what had just happened. Seeing her in such a state, right in front of the gym's doors, and with memories of all the humiliation she'd felt over the course of the evening running through her head, Viera was gripped by a sudden impulsive idea.

"Screw it, it's worth it," she said, before jumping up and ramming into Gaz's back, sending her stumbling forward and through the door into the gym.

Gaz skidded several feet into the room before managing to stumble to a stop at the edge of the crowd. Realizing this, and her current situation, she yelped and threw her arms over her exposed chest, face burning… only to blink in confusion when no one reacted in any way beyond a few casual glances to see the source of her noisy entrance, which quickly returned to looking at the dancing Steve and Kleodora. In her panicked and embarrassed state, Gaz's brain was unable to process that, so she wasted precious time simply standing there instead of running for cover.

Viera, meanwhile, poked her head into the room, bikini top back on and her still-bare lower half concealed by the door. She grinned at the initial sight of Gaz, only to blink and stare as what was happening on the dance floor.

"The hell…? Why is Steve dancing with a dryad?" she asked, only to shake it off and decide to deal with that after she finished handling the matter at hand. Clearing her throat, she called out, "Hey, ugly! Didn't you get the memo? Leopard skins are for girls, not boys!"

Gaz's head snapped around to snarl at Viera in response to the insult, only to then blush with greater intensity as the crowd turned to face the source of the shout, finally recognized her, and once again burst out in laughter.

"Oh my God, is that Gaz? I thought that was a guy!"

"I've heard of being a tomboy, but this is ridiculous!"

"Man, is every angry person in this Skool compensating for being small where it matters?"

The jeers and mockery rained down on Gaz, who could only stand there, blushing and eye twitching from the combination of humiliation and rage bubbling up inside her. And unfortunately for the laughing crowd, the latter emotion ended up winning out, and with a cry of fury she lunged at them, their laughs quickly turning to screams of agony.

Before long, Gaz was standing over a pile of unconscious, bleeding, and mutilated fellow students. Dropping Torque, whose face now looked like raw hamburger, on top of the others, Gaz turned towards where a now very pale Viera was staring in shock from the doorway. Gaz started to stalk towards her, only to be brought up short as Miss Bitters suddenly emerged from the shadows next to her with the sound of chittering cicadas. The ancient hag arched an eyebrow at the sight of the topless Gaz standing over the beaten and bloody other students, then shook her head.

"I don't even want to know, and frankly I don't care that you inflicted harm on all these worthless sewer rats, but we take indecent exposure quite seriously in this Skool, young lady. To the Underground Classrooms with you!" Miss Bitters declared, pulling out a small remote control and pressing a button, while Gaz's eyes widened in panic.

"What?! No, wait-!" she tried to protest, only for a trapdoor to suddenly open under her feet, dropping her into darkness, while for some reason a gout of flame shot up. And as a cherry on top, her pilfered bikini bottoms snagged on the trapdoor panel and stretched as Gaz fell, until the physics of her rapid descent made her twist and slip out of them. As she did, the bottoms snapped back up, the momentum of which caused them to fly off of the panel and zip through the air, smacking into the wall next to the door Viera was still peeking in through.

"…Not what I was going for, but I'll take it!" she said happily, grabbing the bottoms and pulling back outside to slip them on unseen. Miss Bitters, meanwhile, looked towards Steve and Kleodora, who had stopped dancing to watch everything in surprise starting when Gaz's rampage had begun, and sneered at their similarly unclothed appearances, her vision being completely unaffected by the magic smoke concealing Steve.

"The same goes for the two of you!" she snarled, pressing the button again. Steve tensed in panic, but Kleodora just snapped her fingers again, causing a nearly-invisible barrier of shimmering green light to pop into existence beneath their feet just as another trapdoor opened under them, keeping them from falling and blocking the fresh burst of fire from below.

"What?!" Miss Bitters yelled, growling as she repeatedly pressed the button, trying to force something to happen, until finally it broke apart in her hand, "Dammit, this is what we get, buying equipment from sweat shops in third-world countries. Fine, do whatever you want, you're all doomed anyway!"

With that, she swept back into the darkness, while Nny emerged from somewhere with an oversized snow shovel and used it to effortlessly start lifting unconscious students and carrying them off. Steve and Kleodora could only watch this in bemusement, before he finally broke the silence.

"Well, that happened," he finally said, before turning to Kleodora and asking, "And speaking of things that have happened, we've been dancing for a while. Does that count as me holding up my end of the deal?"

"Hmm, not quite. The night's not over yet, after all, and you wouldn't want me to disperse the smoke when there's still an audience, now would you?" Kleodora asked, gesturing to the handful of students who had escaped Gaz's wrath and were now hesitantly emerging from hiding behind tables and fake trees.

"Dammit," Steve grumbled, earning a giggle from the dryad.

"Aw, come on, admit it. You're enjoying this, aren't you?" she asked, arching an eyebrow at him in challenge.

"…Reluctantly, and not as much as I would have if I'd had an actual choice," Steve hesitantly admitted.

"Great!" Kleodora said happily, leaning in to give him a kiss on the cheek, leaving him blushing and suddenly very glad that his lower half was concealed by the magic smoke, before she dragged him back into dancing.

At the same time, out in the hallway, Viera had managed to put the bikini bottoms back on, sighing in relief as she did and adjusting both pieces to make sure everything was back in place. And as it was, she finished doing this just in time, as seconds after she was done, Dib turned a corner, having recovered another loincloth from his other stash.

The two blushed as they caught sight of each other, admiring how they looked in their costumes, and both ironically having the same thought about how extremely lucky they'd ultimately been to avoid being seen by the other while naked.

"Uh, h-hey, you made it!" Dib said, wincing at the slight hiccup in his voice as he tried to avoid letting his eyes roam over her figure. He also mentally kicked himself; of course she was here, she wasn't going to risk getting sent to the Underground Classrooms.

"Yeah, just got here," Viera replied quickly, by sheer force of will not checking out his chiseled physique. She felt a little bad about the white lie, but she wasn't about to admit what she'd been through tonight. Speaking of which…

"Seems like we both had good timing, though. Sounds like there was some kind of commotion or something that got a lot of people sent down to the Underground Classrooms," she said.

"Really? Huh, guess we lucked out for once," he muttered as they walked into the gym, only to blink in surprise at what he saw on the dance floor, "Uh…?"

"Steve, why are you dancing with a dryad?" Viera asked her brother as she and Dib cautiously approached.

"Viera, Dib, meet Kleodora. She's been stalking me since that camping trip," Steve replied flatly, "Do not ask, I don't want to talk about it."

"Hi! You must be the sister and best friend Steve keeps mentioning. Nice to meet you," Kleodora said happily.

"Er, you too?" Dib replied awkwardly, sharing a confused look with Viera, "So, um, we'll just leave you to it, I guess…"

"What? Nonsense, you can't just leave, you two should get to dancing as well," Kleodora said firmly, before lightening up, "In fact, you should dance together!"

Dib made a squawking noise as he suddenly choked on air, his subsequent blush matched in intensity by Viera's as she likewise sputtered.

"I, er, that is, um, we weren't," she stammered, which Kleodora waved off.

"I insist," she said with a smirk, snapping her fingers.

"Oh crap," Steve said with a wince, pretty sure where this was going. And he was proven right when seconds later, Dib and Viera were both yelping in embarrassed surprise, hands flying to cover themselves as their costumes dissolved into smoke.

"No one else can see through the smoke, it won't dissipate as long as you stick around to dance, and at the end of the night, it'll turn back into your clothes," Kleodora quickly listed off before either of the newly-nude teens could protest, "And since I've said that, it's what'll happen. I'm a dryad of my word, as Firm Buns here can tell you."

"'Firm Buns'?" Dib asked, mortification forgotten for a moment as he stared in confusion at both the dryad and his suddenly blushing friend.

"Wait, are you also…?" Viera asked her brother, trailing off as her face turned slightly green in realization.

"Like I said, don't ask," Steve answered both of them, this time happily allowing Kleodora to drag him off to another part of the dance floor after she gave a final happy comment to the other pair. Once they were alone again, he couldn't help but give her a flat look and ask, "Was that really necessary?"

"What, you don't think they'd make a cute couple?" Kleodora asked, sounding genuinely confused.

"Oh, I do, that's why I've been trying to nudge them together for awhile now," Steve admitted with a shrug, "I'm just not that aggressive about it."

"Meh, you mortals get hung up on the weirdest things," the dryad muttered, before shrugging it off, "But never mind, let's dance!"

And as they proceeded to do so, Dib and Viera had very awkwardly started to do the same when their smoke covers had begun to dissolve, faces burning bright red as they carefully watched where their hands went while simultaneously keeping their lines of sight above the neck.

"Get through tonight and then pretend this never happened?" Dib asked, a hint of desperation in his voice.

"Fine by me," Viera replied in the same tone.

As so they awkwardly danced for the next several hours until Miss Bitters showed up again to order everyone still present to go home, at which point Kleodora returned the trio's clothes and departed (though not without promising a flustered Steve that she'd see him again real soon). After that, the three quickly departed, all silently agreeing not to discuss anything that had happened that night… even while they all internally admitted with great reluctance that, despite all the embarrassment, they'd all had fun.

Gaz, meanwhile, would be stuck in the Underground Classrooms for quite some time, bruised and burned. A situation not at all helped by the fact that, at one point during the dance, she'd managed to climb up through the trapdoor left open from the failed attempt to drop Steve and Kleodora… only for Dib and Viera's dancing to take them past where her head was sticking up, at which point one of Viera's feet lashed out and hit her square in the face, causing her to lose her grip and fall back down into the underground with another burst of flame.

But was a complete accident. Honestly.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

The End

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

A/N: And there you have it.

Bet you all weren't expecting to see Kleodora again, were you? Well, you'll recall that I made her to replace Hekapoo from Star vs the Forces of Evil, whom Cowardly intended to interact with Steve in several of his story ideas. Therefore, Kleodora will now be a recurring character in these things.

Also, just to be clear, I do not in any way endorse body-shaming, sexual harassment, or stalking. Those things are all only here because that's what Cowardly wanted. And let's be honest, those things are played for comedy in cartoons all the time, so it's not like I'm breaking new ground here.

Well, that's all for now. Hope you all enjoyed it, especially you, Cowardly. Happy (very) late birthday!

Until next time, please review!