Chapter 10
Chapter Ten: The Rogue Bludger
"Okay I have to ask." Clint said, turning toward Wanda. "It's been bugging me. You've really been hiding up in the rafters this entire time? Where did you learn that? Who taught you that? Because I have to say, whoever it is, is stealing my thunder! Traveling by the rafters and the vents is my thing!" By the end Clint sounded like a whining child who had their favorite toy taken away.
"You were the one who taught me." Wanda said simply, her eyebrows raised in incredulity.
"Oh."
Wanda then turned her whole body away slowly.
"EMERGENCY MEETING!" Shuri yelled out, making T'Challa jump in his seat slightly.
Leaning forward in her seat to look around the other people at the table, Shuri looked at Peter and said, "Blue! I think Purple is the imposter!"
Peter looked from Shuri to Clint and back to Shuri, "Do you have any proof, Black?" (AN: I am NOT being racist. I am only making a reference to the BLACK Panther, and her role as T'Challa's "Agent Q".)
"Huh? What?" Sirius said quietly.
"He freakin vented!"
"I don't know. I was in the Cafeteria when I saw Red coming out of the vents!"
"Hm, good point." Shuri tapped her finger against her chin. "Well there's nothing for it. Only thing we can do is put it to a vote. Cast your vote!"
"I think it's Red."
"At first I thought it was Purple. But then I really thought about it. Purple had only talked about venting. While we actually saw, Red vent." Sighing, Shuri said, "I vote for Red as well."
"It's unanimous. Red has been Voted off the ship!"
"To the airlock, with haste!"
Peter and Shuri then fell back in their seats giggling.
"Do you have any idea what these two are talking about?" Steve asked, looking incredibly lost and confused.
"No. I have been begging my mother for a translator ever since Shuri was born." T'Challa spoke with his hands rubbing soothing circles into his temples.
Wong gave him a consolidating pat on the back.
Since the disastrous episode of the pixies,
"FIGHT THE PIXIES!" Thor boomed.
Jumping, everyone turned in their seats to give Thor peculiar looks.
Seeing the looks and stares he was receiving, he said slightly shamefaced (and much more quietly), "I apologize. My friend Lady Darcy, she has gotten me addicted to this Midgardian Television Show called "Supernatural". I sincerely apologize if I caused anyone distress."
"I love that episode." Wong chuckled. "You fight those pixies! I'll fight these pixies!"
Thor's face broke out in the biggest childish grin, as he leaned over to give Wong a high-five.
Steve reached into a pouch on his belt and pulled out a small notebook. In it, he turned to a list of movies and TV shows to watch. Down at the bottom he quickly wrote, Supernatural.
Lockhart had not brought live creatures to class. Instead, he read passages from his books to them, and sometimes reenacted some of the more dramatic bits. He usually picked Harry to help him with these reconstructions; so far, Harry had been forced to play a simple Transylvanian villager whom Lockhart had cured of a Babbling Curse, a yeti with a head cold, and a vampire who had been unable to eat anything except lettuce since Lockhart had dealt with him.
Harry was hauled to the front of the class during their very next Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson, this time acting a werewolf. If he hadn't had a very good reason for keeping Lockhart in a good mood, he would have refused to do it.
"My future self should have just ran out of the classroom screaming, 'Stranger Danger! Stranger Danger!'. That would have got him to leave me alone, right?" Harry said, as though just speaking out loud.
Harry continued, with his hand on his chin. "Alternatively, when my future self should have run out of there, I could have gone to find the nearest teacher, and told them that he touched me without my consent. That would get him to leave me alone, right?"
"Oh definitely." Percy nodded.
"Would get him fired too." Nat looked at Harry, with a barely there proud and impressed smile.
"And if you're really lucky, he would have been hauled off to jail." James gave Harry a high-five.
"What do you mean, 'If you're lucky'?" Madam Bones gave James a hard stare, insulted on behalf of her Aurors.
"I just meant," James said, holding out his hands to placate way. "That with that control freak, Dumbledore at the helm, the Aurors would be lucky to hear even half of what was going on in this school."
Amelia went to say something, then stopped and thought about it. She finally had to concede the point.
…
The class began to leave. Harry returned to the back of the room, where Ron and Hermione were waiting.
"Ready?" Harry muttered.
"Wait till everyone's gone," Hermione nervously. "All right…"
She approached Lockhart's desk, a piece of paper clutched tightly in her hand, Harry and Ron right behind her.
…
"Well, I'm sure no one will mind me giving the best student of the year a little extra help," said Lockhart warmly, and he pulled out an enormous peacock quill. "Yes, nice, isn't it?" he said, misreading the revolted and confused look on Ron's face. "I usually save it for book signings."
…
"Here it is," said Hermione excitedly as she found the page headed The Polyjuice Potion. It was decorated with drawings of people halfway through transforming into other people. Harry sincerely hoped the artist had imagined the books of intense pain on their faces.
…
"Excuse me?" said Ron sharply. "What d'you mean, a bit of whoever we're changing into? I'm drinking nothing with Crabbe's toenails in it -"
"I think I'm going to throw up." Ron moaned, as he looked a little green around the gills so to speak.
Hermione continued as thought she hadn't heard him.
"We don't have to worry about that yet, though, because we add those bits last…."
Ron turned, speechless, to Harry, who had another worry.
"D'you realize how much we're going to have to steal, Hermione? Shredded skin of a boomslang, that's definitely not in the students' cupboard. What're we going to do, break into Snape's private stores? I don't know if this is a good idea…."
Snape's head whipped around to glare hatefully and suspiciously at them. Which meant he looked like he was watching a rather bad game of tennis. With Ron sitting with his parents and Hermione sitting at the Gryffindor table, and Harry spending some time with his birth parents.
Hermione shut the book with a snap.
"Well, if you two are going to chicken out, fine," she said. There were bright pink patches on her cheeks and her eyes were brighter than usual. "I don't want to break rules, you know. I think threatening Muggle-borns is far worse than brewing up a difficult potion. But if you don't want to find out if it's Malfoy, I'll go straight to Madam Pince now and hand the book back in -"
"I never thought I'd see the day when you'd be persuading us to break rules," said Ron. "All right, we'll do it. But not toenails, okay?"
"We really are bad influences on her, Ron." Harry shook his head.
"So sad." Ron sighed.
"Hey James," Sirius nudged his friend next to him. "Looks like they got their own Remus."
James looked between Remus and Hermione and finally said, "Huh, well what d'you know. You're right."
"Hey there's a first time for everything." Remus commented.
"Hey!"
"You, are not a horse." Remus deadpanned.
"Yeah, leave the hay to me!" James said importantly.
"I hate both of you." Sirius pouted into his seat.
James and Remus, having kept it in for this long, burst into snickers.
Lily giggled into her goblet.
Sirius just grumbled and bellyached into his.
…
"So what movie are we watching?" George asked excitedly, while Fred stood next to him clutching his notebook.
"Not really sure what it is." Harry shrugged. "It's been requested like crazy so…"
"Okay, we'll go find our seats." Fred said. He and George then turned around and bounced to their seats.
"Bounced? Really?" George said.
"Yeah, like Tiger!" a smiling second year Hufflepuff boy.
Shaking his head, Harry turned away to get the movie ready, chuckling.
Once everyone was seated, and without preamble, the lights were dimmed, and the movie began.
…
Everyone sat there in silence as the credits rolled.
Percy was cleaning his glasses furiously.
Hermione looked up at the screen in disgust.
Ron was just trying to figure out what in the name of Merlin he just watched.
Fred and George were leaning on each other for support. Both horror stricken. Fred had hidden his notebook in his shirt, while George had sat on his. As though to protect their precious pranks from the nightmare they just witnessed.
Harry slowly stood from his chair, and made his way to the front of the room. Turning off the movie as he went.
Looking at his fellow housemates he said, "Can we all agree to never, ever, watch that? Ever again?"
Just as people were starting to nod in agreement, a fourth year girl named Suzie called out saying, "But what about its sequels?!"
"Fred, it's got sequels!" George cried into his brother's shoulder.
"We are never, EVER," Harry said firmly, while pointing at the screen. His skin had taken on a sickly color. "watching Twilight, or anyof its sequels! Ever again!"
Steve pulled out his list of movies to watch, and crossed off Twilight.
…
As they were all heading up to bed, Lee Jordan had to be carried. He hadn't moved at all during the movie.
…
As eleven o'clock approached, the whole school started to make its way down to the Quidditch stadium. It was a muggy sort of day with a hint of thunder in the air. Ron and Hermione came hurrying over to wish Harry good luck as he entered the locker rooms. The team pulled on their scarlet Gryffindor robes, then sat down to listen to Wood's usual pre-match pep talk.
"Slytherin has better brooms than us," he began. "No points denying it. But we've got better people on our brooms. We've trained harder than they have, we've been flying in all weathers -" ("Too true," muttered George Weasley. "I haven't been properly dry since August") "- and we're going to make them rue the day they let that little bit of slime, Malfoy buy his way onto their team."
"Hey Malfoy!" Ron said, "Wasn't that just a 'slap in the face'!"
"Oh!" "Burn!"
Chest heaving with emotion, Wood turned to Harry.
"It'll be down to you, Harry, to show them that a Seeker has to have something more than a rich father. Get to that Snitch before Malfoy or die trying, Harry, because we've got to win today, we've got to."
"Mr Wood!" McGonagall said crossly.
"So no pressure, Harry," said Fred, winking at him.
…
"All right there, Scarhead?" yelled Malfoy, shooting underneath him as though to show off the speed of his broom.
"Call Harry 'Scarhead'. One. More. Time." Sirius growled. "I dare you."
Malfoy gave his best "unbothered" look he could, while at the same time subtly sliding further down the bench, and away from his cousin.
Harry had no time to reply. At that very moment, a heavy black Bludger came pelting toward him; he avoided it so narrowly that he felt it ruffle his hair as it passed.
"Close one, Harry!" said George, streaking past him with his club in his hand, ready to knock the Bludger back toward a Slytherin. Harry saw George give the Bludger a powerful whack in the direction of Adrian Pucey, but the Bludger changed direction in midair and shot straight for Harry again.
"That Bludgers fixed!" James yelled. The rest of the Hall, not far behind.
Harry dropped quickly to avoid it, and George managed to hit it hard toward Malfoy. Once again, the Bludger swerved like a boomerang and shot at Harry's head.
…
"What's going on?" said Wood as the Gryffindor team huddled together, while Slytherins in the crowd jeered. "We're being flattened. Fred, George, where were you when that Bludger stopped Angelina scoring?"
"We were twenty feet above her, stopping the other Bludger from murdering Harry, Oliver," said George angrily. "Someone's fixed it - it won't leave Harry alone. It hasn't gone for anyone else all game. The Slytherins must have done something to it."
"But the Bludgers have been locked in Madam Hooch's office since our last practice, and there was nothing wrong with them then…." said Wood, anxiously.
Hooch listened intently. She always took it personally when someone even tried to tamper with a Quidditch game under her watch. Especially what happened the last time she played.
Madam Hooch was walking toward them. Over her shoulder, Harry could see the Slytherin team jeering and pointing in his direction.
"Listen," said Harry as she came nearer and nearer, "with you two flying around me all the time the only way I'm going to catch the Snitch is if it flies up my sleeve. Go back to the rest of the team and let me deal with the rogue one."
"Don't be thick," said Fred. "It'll take your head off."
Wood was looking from Harry to the Weasleys.
"Harry, you can't continue playing!" Lily said worriedly.
"I have to." Harry tried to reason with his mom. "There is no reserve Seeker. I have to play."
Lily turned to her husband, "James, say something."
"Hmm, if we got Harry a broom that was faster than the Bludger we wouldn't have to worry about him getting hit by it. And to top it off, it would show up Malfoy. Win-win"
"That is not what I meant!"
"Huh?" James said, zoning back into the conversation.
"You're going to pay for that." Mr Weasley said quietly.
"What am I paying for, and how much is it going to cost me?"
"That, and it's going to cost a small emotional fortune." Mr. Weasley pointed down the table.
James followed it, only to find the angrily glowing green eyes of his wife. His own eyes widened. He immediately started apologizing for… he didn't know what he was apologizing for. All he knew was that Lily was upset, and he apparently contributed to it. So, he's apologizing.
…
"Ready to resume play?" she asked Wood.
Wood looked at the determined look on Harry's face.
"All right," he said. "Fred, George, you heard Harry - leave him alone and let him deal with the Bludger on his own."
…
A Whistling in Harry's ear told him the Bludger had just missed him again; he turned right over and sped in the opposite direction.
"Training for the ballet, Potter?" yelled Malfoy
"What, you want to be my dance partner?" said Harry.
Malfoy's cheeks turned a bright pink as he sneered in disgust, "No! Of course not!"
"Me thinks the snake doth protest too much." Lavender simpered.
Malfoy glared at everyone, as the Hall broke out into giggles.
as Harry was forced to do a stupid kind of twirl in midair to dodge the Bludger, and he fled, the Bludger trailing a few feet behind him; and then glaring back at Malfoy in hatred, he saw it - the Golden Snitch. It was hovering inches above Malfoy's left ear - and Malfoy, busy laughing at Harry, hadn't seen it.
For an agonizing moment, Harry hung in midair, not daring to speed toward Malfoy in case he looked up and saw the Snitch.
WHAM.
"And here's yer reminder, to not dangle yerself in front of a rogue Bludger. And subscribe!" said a man in a red and black body suit in an exaggerated Alabama accent, hands on his hips sassily, armed to the teeth…
Talking to the wall.
"Who are you?!" Steve jumped up and put himself between his new found family, and this unknown man.
"Alright, I'm outskies! Don't forget to check out my trailer for Deadpool 3:Retcon!" the man said, flashing the peace sign.
"Now wait just a moment!" McGonagall came charging around the head table. But not fast enough, for as soon as this mysterious man finished speaking, he touched his belt, and disappeared.
Not like how one would aparate, and not in a flash of light like their hosts. But one second he was there and the next…
The Hall was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop.
"Who was that?!" Steve said into the stillness.
"That," Fury said, a vein on his forehead popping. He could feel the headache coming. "Was Deadpool."
He was already regretting agreeing to any of this.
…
Through a haze of rain and pain he dived for the shimmering, sneering face below him and saw its eyes widen with fear: Malfoy thought Harry was attacking him.
"What the -" he gasped, careening hand off his broom and made a wild snatch; he felt his fingers close on the cold Snitch but was now only gripping the broom with his legs, and there was a yell from the crowd below as he headed straight for the ground, trying hard not to pass out.
…
"Aha," he said vaguely. "We've won."
¾ of the school burst into cheers, whilst the Slytherins booed.
James, Sirius, and the Gryffindor team all converged on Harry. All congratulating him, and patting him on the back.
James and Sirius even lifted him up onto their shoulders.
BANG
"All right, that is quite enough." McGonagall said, giving everyone her best professor stare. "If you would please, return Mr. Potter to the ground, and everyone return to your seats."
Looking around as the students and adults scrambled to do as she said, she then turned to Harry the faintest of smiles gracing her face, "Well done Mr. Potter."
And he fainted.
He came around, rain falling on his face, still lying on the field, with someone leaning over him. He saw a glitter of teeth.
"Please no." Harry whimpered.
"Oh, no, not you," he moaned.
"Doesn't know what he's saying," said Lockhart loudly to the anxious crowd of Gryffindors pressing around them. "Not to worry, Harry. I'm about to fix your arm."
"No!" said Harry. "I'll keep it like this, thanks…."
"Yeeaaaahhhhh," Harry said, stretching out the one word. "I would rather have every bone in my body broken, then have this idiot 'try' and 'fix' it." Harry used finger quotations.
'Agreed.' Snape thought, hating himself that he actually agreed with Potter's spawn on anything.
…
"Stand back," said Lockhart, who was rolling up his jade-green sleeves.
"No - don't -" said Harry weakly, but Lockhart was twirling his wand and a second later had directed it straight at Harry's arm.
…
As Harry got to his feet, he felt strangely lopsided. Taking a deep breath he looked down at his right side. What he saw nearly made him pass out again.
Poking out of the end of his robes was what looked like a thick, flesh-colored rubber glove. He tried to move his fingers. Nothing happened.
Lockhart hadn't mended Harry's bones. He had removed them.
Second year Ravenclaw, Sally Wreath ran for the bathrooms in the Ravenclaw dorms, her hands clutched over her mouth. She only made it four steps through the door, before she began to projectile vomit.
The rest of the Hall was definitely feeling woozy. Though they were faring better than her.
…
Madam Pomfrey wasn't at all pleased.
"You should have come straight to me!" she raged, holding up the sad, limp remainder of what, half an hour before, had been a working arm. "I can mend bones in a second - but growing them back -"
Fury turned to who he has been told is Madam Pomfrey. "Any chance I could-"
"I would never abandon the children." Pomfrey said, without even looking at Fury.
"You will be able to, won't you?" said Harry desperately.
"I'll be able to, certainly, but it will be painful," said Madam Pomfrey grimly, throwing Harry a pair of pajamas. "You'll have to stay the night…."
"How painful are we talking?" Harry asked. Hoping that it wasn't as bad he thought it was.
Pomfrey just looked at him sympathy.
…
"We won, though," said Ron, a grin breaking across his face. "That was some catch you made. Malfoy's face… he looked ready to kill…."
"I want to know how he fixed that Bludger," said Hermione darkly.
"It wasn't me!" Malfoy said.
"How do you know!" Ron shouted. "This hasn't happened yet! So for all we know, you could have been the one behind it!"
"We can add that to the list of questions we'll ask him when we've taken the Polyjuice Potion," said Harry, sinking back onto his pillows. "I hope it tastes better than this stuff…."
"If it's got bits of Slytherins in it? You've got to be joking," said Ron.
"If it's got bits of anybody in it, it's bound to be nasty." Lee shuddered.
The door of the hospital wing burst open at that moment. Filthy and soaking wet, the rest of the Gryffindor team had arrived to see Harry.
"Unbelievable flying, Harry," said George. "I've just seen Marcus Flint yelling at Malfoy. Something about having the Snitch on top of his head and not noticing. Malfoy didn't seem too happy."
…
Hours and hours later, Harry woke quite suddenly in pitch blackness and gave a small yelp of pain: His arm now felt full of large splinters. For a second, he thought that was what had woken him. Then, with a thrill of horror, he realized that someone was sponging his forehead in the dark.
"Get off!" he said loudly, and then, "Dobby!"
The house-elf's goggling tennis ball eyes were peering at Harry through the darkness. A single tear was running down his long, pointed nose.
"Harry Potter came back to school," he whispered miserably. "Dobby warned and warned Harry Potter. Ah sir, why didn't you heed Dobby? Why didn't Harry Potter go back home when he missed the train?"
"Because he's Harry Potter, he's as stubborn as a magically reinforced, six foot thick, steel wall," Dean said.
Harry pouted at his friends. "I'm not that bad."
"Harry, we have the evidence." Seamus deadpanned. "Don't try to deny it."
"It's not a good color for you." Pavarti shrugged.
…
"Dobby was so shocked when he heard Harry Potter was back at Hogwarts, he let his master's dinner burn! Such a flogging Dobby never had, sir…."
Harry slumped back onto his pillows.
"You nearly got Ron and me expelled," he said fiercely. "You'd better get lost before my bones come back, Dobby, or I might strangle you."
Dobby smiled weakly.
"Dobby is used to death threats, sir. Dobby gets them five times a day at home."
The only reason Malfoy didn't wither under the might of the hateful glares being thrown at him, were A) He's a Slytherin, and as such he is used to scorn. And B) He's a Malfoy, and as such he is above such actions. Malfoys, do not wither.
He blew his nose on a corner of the filthy pillowcase he wore, looking so pathetic that Harry felt his anger ebb away in spite of himself.
"Why d'you wear that thing, Dobby?" he asked curiously.
"This sir?" said Dobby, plucking at the pillowcase. "'Tis a mark of the house-elf's enslavement, sir. Dobby can only be freed if his masters present him with clothes, sir. The family is careful not to pass Dobby even a sock, sir, for then he would be free to leave their house forever."
Dobby mopped his bulging eyes and said suddenly, "Harry Potter must go home! Dobby thought his Bludger would be enough to make -"
"MALFOY!" James thundered, leaping out of his chair.
"It wasn't me!" Malfoy cried. "I don't know what's going on anymore than you do! If you want someone to blame, blame my father! He's the one who's in charge of all of the house-elves!"
"Your Bludger?" said Harry, anger rising once more. "What d'you mean, your Bludger? You made that Bludger try and kill me?"
"Not kill you, sir, never kill you!" said Dobby, shocked. "Dobby wants to save Harry Potter's life! Better sent home, grievously injured, than remain here, sir! Dobby only wanted Harry Potter hurt enough to be sent home!"
"Oh, is that all?" said Harry angrily. "I don't suppose you're going to tell me why you wanted me sent home in pieces?"
"Ah, if Harry Potter only knew!" Dobby groaned, more tears dripping onto his ragged pillowcase. "If he knew what he means to us, to the lowly, the enslaved, we dregs of the magical world!"
"You know," Charlie said thoughtfully. "It almost sounds like they're making you out to be the new Merlin."
"Please don't give anybody any of those ideas." Harry pleaded.
…
"And now, at Hogwarts, terrible things are to happen, are perhaps happening already, and Dobby cannot let Harry Potter stay here now that history is to repeat itself, now that the Chamber of Secrets is open once more-"
Dobby froze, horrorstruck, then grabbed Harry's water jug from his bedside table and cracked it over his own head, toppling out of sight. A second later, he crawled back onto the bed, cross-eyed, muttering, "Bad Dobby, very bad Dobby…"
"So there is a Chamber of Secrets?" Harry whispered. "And - did you say it's been opened before? Tell me, Dobby!"
…
"Dobby can't sir, Dobby can't, Dobby mustn't tell!" squealed the elf. "Go home, Harry Potter, go home!"
"I'm not going anywhere!" said Harry fiercely. "One of my best friends is Muggle-born; she'll be first in line if the Chamber really has been opened -"
…
"What happened?" Madam Pomfrey whispered to Dumbledore, bending over the statue on the bed.
"Another attack," said Dumbledore. "Minerva found him on the stairs."
Hagrid sat shaking, hoping, praying that it's not what he thinks it is. That is not happening again.
"There was a bunch of grapes next to him," said Ms McGonagall. "We think he was trying to sneak up here to visit Potter."
…
It was Colin Creevey. His eyes were wide and his hands were stuck up in front of him, holding his camera.
"Petrified?" whispered Madam Pomfrey.
"Yes," said Ms McGonagall. "But I shudder to think … If Albus hadn't been on the way downstairs for hot chocolate - who knows what might have -"
The three of them stared down at colin. Then Dumbledore leaned forward and wrenched the camera out of Colin's rigid grip.
"You don't think he managed to get a picture of his attacker?" said Ms McGonagall eagerly.
Dumbledore didn't answer. He opened the back of the camera.
"Melted," said Madam Pomfrey wonderingly. "All melted…"
"What does this mean, Albus?" Ms McGonagall asked urgently.
"It means," said Dumbledore, "that the Chamber of Secrets is indeed open again."
Hagrid burst into tears. Great, big, heaving sobs.
"Hagrid, what's wrong?" Harry said, worriedly.
"Hagrid was here the last time it was opened." McGonagall said kindly.
"T-The g-g-gi-rl-l w-who-o d-die-d, w-wa-s m-my b-bes-st f-frien-nd." Hagrid sobbed.
"Hagrid took it really hard the last time around." McGonagall said, as though weighing her words. Her shoulders weighed down by guilt.
Madam Pomfrey clapped a hand to her mouth. Ms Mcgonagall started at Dumbledore.
"But, Albus … surely … who?"
"The question is not who," said Dumbledore, his eyes on Colin. "The question is, how…."
From where Harry could see, from what he had heard the question now is, why does Dumbledore phrase his question, as if he knew who opened the Chamber of Secrets last time, and that it would be impossible for the person who opened it the first time, to do it this time?
As Harry's words rang through the Hall, silence followed. Hagrid's crying stopped.
"He knew!" Hagrid growled. "He knew the whole time, and he-
"Excuse me." Hagrid stood from the table, pushing it back a few feet, and stomped his way down the Hall. Through the door leading to the cells, slamming…and locking it closed behind him.
