Filling In The Blanks
Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy IX or any of its characters.
Chapter 103: Nowhere
"Dagger, wake up," Freya whispered, putting a gentle hand on her shoulder.
Chocolate eyes fluttered open and she jolted in her seat. Staring around in confusion for a moment, her eyes finally met Freya's. They looked turquoise in the dimmed lighting of the cabin. "What's happened?" she questioned.
"Look," the Bermecian insisted, pointing to the window once more.
The girl's eyes swiveled tiredly towards the glass, but she blinked herself awake when she realized she could hardly see out the window. "What is that?"
"Mist," Freya hissed. "We have hit a pocket, and have been in it for some time. Steiner has just fallen asleep and I did not want to wake him, but I did not want you to wake and be alarmed."
She nodded to the woman. "Thank you." Freya moved away then, back to the pacing the girl hadn't even realized she had started. Dagger stood and stretched, reaching high above her head before sweeping down and touching her toes. Her head snapped up despite her body being hunched over, and she watched the way Cinna's eyes were sharply trained to the glass, despite not being able to see a thing.
Ruby was working tirelessly at the coordinate bar, collapsed in a chair, but still coherent enough to work the pipes.
"Are you two okay?" she asked in a low hum, walking closer so she could speak quieter.
"These pockets of mist really send the ship into a frenzy. Regular coordinates won't work when we're flying through, because there's too much gas coming in. So it has to be done manually, but it's a slow going process," Cinna explained. "Usually, Zenero was the one who did it, because he was the sharpest with the numbers and which pipes they connected to but…" he trailed, not bothering to finish his thought.
"This works well enough," Ruby added as though to change the subject, "but I'm no good at it."
"We're still in the air though, Ruby, and that's what's important." The two teammates shared a look, and it was so intimate and connected in a wind of friendship and surrogate family that Dagger nearly thought she was intruding.
"Anyways, we don' know how big this mist pocket's gon' be," Ruby told her, turning towards the white mage again.
"Isn't there any way to see?"
Both of them shook their heads.
"Dammit," she mumbled, running a gloved hand through her hair.
"I wouldn't worry about it too much though," Cinna said, pointing out the windshield of the ship again. "If we can't see ten feet in front of us, there's no way anyone can see us from the ground or outside the pocket of mist… so even though it's slow going and I know we all really want to get back… we're safe."
"That's a relief at least," she said, feeling a little bit better. "Is there anything else I can do to help you two?"
Cinna shook his head, "Quina left a little bit ago to find a few freeze-dried things in our storage room to eat… that's all we really need right now is some energy."
She nodded, feeling helpless. "Let me know if I can help."
"Thanks."
Steiner was leaned against the wall, sleeping with his head lulled uncomfortably to the side. Dagger dug in her pack to find a blanket, and maneuvered it underneath his head. He mumbled something incoherent and fell silent once more.
Vivi and Eiko were already snuggled up underneath a blanket. It was undoubtedly Freya who'd given it to them, the two too sleepy to get it themselves. Dagger knew that the ex-Dragon Knight was a strong believer in the two of them still being very much children in this world, and if she could not save Dagger's generation from it all, she would try her hardest with the generation after.
Looking closer at the scene in front of her, her teammates all curled up on the wooden floor of the ship, she spotted Beatrix's eyes shifting this way and that.
Dagger picked a spot close to the knight and sat down, "Can't sleep?" she whispered hardly loud enough for the woman to hear.
She turned her head, tired brown eyes restless. "I haven't been able to."
"I'm sorry," the girl said genuinely. If anyone needed the rest it was the brunette.
"Do not be… but –" she held out a hand, "help me sit up, please. I feel useless on the floor."
For once, Dagger didn't argue, and simply guided the woman's grunts and catches of breath until she was sitting up. Beatrix stretched her legs and sighed, wrapping an arm around her torso. "Thank you."
The girl nodded and continued to hold the knight's hand.
"Tell me how bad it really was," she whispered.
Immediately, the raven haired teen knew what she was talking about. "Zenero was attacked out of nowhere. We weren't expecting it, and just so suddenly… he was stabbed by that beast." She closed her eyes, flashes of the memory speeding through her mind so fast she could hardly grab hold of a single thought. "He saved us. But it was so abrupt I hardly even had time to be sad."
"I'm sorry, Dagger," this time, it was Bearix who apologized.
"Blank was even harder. He wouldn't tell any of us, but I heard Marcus one night in the basement in Dali when everyone else was asleep. He was crying I think, and he was talking to Baku. Blank could have left him there; Marcus had fallen, but Blank helped him get back up –" Dagger began to choke, "he was just a second too late. I've never seen Marcus so angry or upset in all my life. I haven't seen anyone that upset in all my life. Ruby held him while they sat against the petrified forest, and the way you could just barely make out Blank behind them was eerie – frightening."
There was a long silence as Beatrix patiently waited for the girl to compose herself. She hadn't cried, but the brunette could see the way her body shook with anxiousness.
"And Steiner?" the woman whispered, subconsciously tightening the hold she had around herself like she was sure she'd fall apart.
"He is hurting. He's questioning everything. Why we were doing this, what the point was if everyone died in the process… He's stayed too strong for too long."
"He's been so good," Beatrix agreed with an absent minded nod. She stroked her thumb across the back of Dagger's glove. "Sometimes I think he believes we expect too much out of him."
"He's only human," the younger of the two agreed.
They sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments, listening to the airship groan in the slow wind that created the mist pocket. The two at the command station were doing an impressive job of looking connected to their work – not bothering to care about what was happening behind them.
"How is Zidane?"
"Still unconscious. His body cannot absorb the amount of white magic I'm trying to give him at once, so the process is slow." She sighed, "I guess I've never encountered someone so injured that their body can't handle the amount of magic needed to heal them."
"This is the worst you will ever have to face with your skill," Beatrix promised.
Another silence.
Dagger thought of nothing in particular in these moments. She focused on the slight waver beneath them, reminding her they were suspended in the air, trapped for the time being in their own little world. She felt the stillness inside of the cabin, and heard the comforting hum of the engine still maintaining energy beneath them.
"How are you?" Beatrix asked finally and that's when the girl realized it was the question she'd meant to ask all along.
"Surviving," was all Dagger could say in return.
It was pitch black when they finally landed in the trampled grass outside of the forest. She moved slowly, appreciating the ache of a long airship ride because that meant she was alive.
But when her feet planted themselves in the dusty grass, crisp from a dry winter, she truly realized how wonderful it was to be home. Dagger wished she could say it was a relief to have Zidane being brought off of that airship too, but then she remembered how many they'd left with, and her mood deflated again.
Cid and Hilda were the only two to meet them. She could sense the others, peeking around their resting spots in the quiet, or whispers on the wind when she couldn't see their faces. Dagger had nearly forgotten that when she boarded that airship almost two weeks ago, that Cid hadn't any idea she was gone probably until they landed in Dali.
But he didn't seem angry. Hilda let out a muffled cry and rushed forward to scoop her up into a big embrace. The girl returned it, thinking it was the least she could do to make up for the hurtful words she had spited Cid with.
He stared at her for a long moment, before turning towards Beatrix who limped proudly by herself down the ramp. Steiner hovered behind her, ready to catch her if she started to fall.
Maybe it was the way the moisture never quite reached the ground, and made a weird sort of haze around their camp, or the crisp air, or the way Dagger couldn't see all of the colors of leaves that usually met her on her return trips that stopped everyone from demanding so many answers.
Their group was frail and broken and small, yet Cid just nodded to them. "Welcome home," he told them in a clear, steady voice. And the others had nodded back to him and passed him, looking for a change of clothes and a less battered place to come home to.
Once Hilda pulled away from her, Dagger turned towards Cid, a searing pang of guilt riding her gut up into her throat. She swallowed, the empty motion hurting her throat.
She opened her mouth, feeling the sharp air prickle her dry tongue.
But he embraced her instead of letting her speak, wrapping around her like a blanket from the world, shielding her like he should have done better in all his life. He was no longer the ruler of a city, and hardly the leader of a resistance, so couldn't he do the job of protecting – not the heir of the Alexandrian throne – but his niece in these times of war?
"Get some rest, Dagger… Please."
And then he let her go and stepped away and turned so she wouldn't see the broken face of an old man. Hilda stared at the retreating back of her husband, and then to the girl who could hardly keep herself whole. She reached out for the teenager, who latched onto her comfort relentlessly as Hilda led her to her own room, where it hadn't felt like she'd been in years.
High above the trees, she didn't know how she felt. Wishing she could go back to the times they were in Dali seemed wrong now, because they had progressed so far, and she'd grown so much – with others, but more importantly, just herself. And yet the way she could feel the wind, brisk through her thin wall or how her room seemed so empty compared to what she had managed to obtain through a lifetime in Dali to fill her day with brightness and possession, or worse – how many people wouldn't be walking through that door to visit her in that very moment in time made her wish for the briefest of sentiment…
Her hands curled into loose fists. She wanted to be tough – she wanted to be someone that people looked up to, but her energy level defied her, and she found all she could do was shuffle to the low bed and collapse on it, curling up in the quilt she'd saved from the fires that ravaged their underground home in Dali.
It smelled like soil, peppered with the fragrance of brushed away leaves, and somehow that lulled her into a sleep that she didn't come out of until the sun was high into the next day.
When Vivi emerged from his room, only a little earlier than the raven haired teen would arise, he had a surprise waiting for him. Though the air was still brisk, the sun was shining, filtering through the leaves and giving the world around them a sort of golden hue.
Cid had called the resistance to a meeting once everyone was awake, but the mage was sure someone would come and get him if he was needed, and at whatever time the regent decided to officially meet.
He was exhausted still, but no longer tired. What surprised him was his lack of appetite, or desire to be with people. Somehow, all of the events that had played out to him finally curling up on a bed last night made him hope for some time alone to sit in the sun and think.
Of course, when he planted his feet firmly in the dirt, having climbed down from the sturdy, ancient trees, that would change.
"Vivi!"
The little mage turned just in time to see Odin hustling over to him. He ran with a wobble that reminded Vivi of slow motion, his eyes shining with that same curiosity, obliviousness, and delight as the last time he saw the other black mage.
His jaw nearly dropped "Odin!" a laugh tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop it.
"That's not all!" the bigger, even clumsier mage told him. Once he stopped in front of Vivi, a chirping noise suddenly made itself known, and a baby chocobo – only up to Odin's waist – trotted forward beside him.
"Bobby Corwin!" Vivi gasped, his hands coming up to his cheeks in awe. "Odin! It's Bobby Corwen!"
"I know!" he beamed. "He hatched when we were in Qu's Marsh, and I was the first one there with him!" he nearly giggled he was so excited to tell his first friend the news. "He follows me everywhere! We're best friends!"
"That's fantastic," Vivi told him, suddenly realizing he was happy that instead of spending his morning alone, he was able to see such a delighted spirit such as Odin – and especially the chocobo.
"Keewa!" Bobby Corwen chirped in delight as Vivi stroked his head feathers.
"You're getting so big," he smiled.
"That's not the only thing I have to show you! I've met someone very special, and he's been looking really forward to seeing you again too!"
"Who –" Vivi looked up to see Kamen and a few of the other mages he'd gotten to know during his sparse visits to the Black Mage Village. "Oh my gosh!" he cried, leaping forward.
"Hello, little one!" Kamen laughed, surprised but hardly phased as Vivi ran into him blindly with a hug. He embraced the smaller mage back. "Your travels have brought you back safely, and for that I am so grateful."
"It's been so long!" he sighed, eyes brushing up each friend the leader of the village brought with him. 'How are all of you?"
"We are fine! Cid and I have kept up such fond communication over the last few months, and we decided to greet a few of the new recruits in the last few days." He lowered his voice then as he watched Odin laugh and run from Bobby Corwen in small circles. The two of them could hardly move faster than a slow jog. "We both agreed that perhaps it would be well to give the others something more to talk about than all of the sorrow and burdens that have been placed on the resistance as of late."
The mage hung his head, gripping his hat out of habit. "The journey back to rescue Zidane was just as hard."
"Indeed. Which is why I come forth bearing good news."
"What is it?" the mage inquired.
"Cid insisted I meet Odin, and I cannot tell you how much of a treat it is to meet your friend. He told me the story of the great city of Lindblum, and how he became aware, perhaps because of your actions. It is a delight."
Vivi blushed, though he knew the other mage couldn't see it. "I was just as surprised."
"I know you are just coming back from a mission, but the elders of our village have brought forth from the sacred grounds a book of black magic, and training will begin nearing the end of the day to update our black magic."
Vivi's eyes widened. Was he really going to be offered teaching?
"All of us would love if you and Odin could join us. It will not be long, and you are welcome back to your camp every night. Even in seven days' time we can make you stronger – honing your powers and making you a force to be reckoned with. So much more than now – all of us will be that way."
"I would love to!" the magic piped up, his voice high with shock. Perhaps he could tell Kamen of the trance, and ask how he can better anticipate such power and direct it, instead of making sloppy, mistake-prone moves.
"I am glad," Kamen nodded, and Vivi just knew a smile was tugging at his lips. "Also that I can bring you this news makes my heart swell with happiness. You and Odin will make a fine addition to our training week, and I know the others will be very relieved to see you again."
"I-I don't know how to thank you," Vivi stuttered, clearly taking aback. But he didn't let himself think about it. No more backing down. He had to be confident, just like his grandpa had said in his letter.
"There is no need. We are a great people who must stick with our sparse kin whenever we can. You are an honorable guest to the village, Master Vivi."
He blushed again, without really meaning to. "Thank you."
Just as their conversation was wrapping up, a man Vivi had seen on occasion in the resistance trotted up to him. He pushed his long curls from his face and grinned, the youngness of him showing through in his smile and twinkle in his eyes. "Vivi! Your presence will be requested in half an hour."
"Ah well! Perfect I caught you when I did then!" Kamen laughed, bowing down to the mage again. "Thank you, Dreamer Vivi, for the things you have done for us in these last few months. Helping to bring a larger resistance together means so much more to the rest of us than you might know."
"I – I didn't really do that much."
"Oh but you did, my dear Vivi… simply being there means enough. For no one else can represent our race in the name of hope."
He smiled, nodding to him. "I can't wait to start this training."
"Come whenever you are ready today," Kamen invited. "You as well, Odin!"
"I certainly will!" he chirped, and Bobby Corwen followed suit.
Vivi stared at the backs of the black mages as they went, having thanked the young man for delivering the message moments ago. He couldn't believe how lucky of a chance he was getting – finally dug out through all of this darkness.
Maybe now he could start being a better help to people. He only wished as he turned to watch Odin play with Bobby Corwen that some good luck would shuck off on the rest of his friends as well.
She heard the commotion in the hall, turning to glance at Steiner, before they actually saw it.
He gripped her armored glove – she insisted to look professional to the first of the resistance to see her.
Beatrix lounged on the day bed they had set up in the medical ward. It wasn't because of her injury that she was there, but the insistence that the best beds had gone to the infirmary. She would have preferred to hole herself up in her own barracks, immune to the gossip that was already so heavy in their camp, but Steiner insisted she be somewhere to rest soundly.
Her side scorched as she pulled herself into a sitting position. Pretending to ignore the ghastly look on the man's face next to her, she gestured to the door. "Any moment now…"
And as if on cue, a whole lot of people tumbled through the door. Cid was at the head of the parade, and she guessed he had made a big, dramatic scene about seeing the wounded warrior in the medical ward of their dug out camp. She nearly rolled her eyes; he was half the reason these people trailed behind him.
Familiar faces seemed to flood in, however, and some she was delighted to see for the first time in a long time. Sally shuffled in, eyes steely and serious, but her smile was delighted to be seeing her resistance friends once more. She couldn't wait to tell the knights how much progress in supplies – blankets and tough armor and clothing for all of the new recruits – that she had managed in the months since she'd left her home in Lindblum. A rough man they would come to know as Boky was there too, his trembling beard and large belly a stinging reminder that Boku hadn't come back with them. Lysandra stormed in, boastful and loud in her movements, her one aquamarine eye tart and angry – how dare another catastrophe fall on these people, and at the very end of their mission at the very least. Gip and Rej had joined the group as well – the duo from the first batch of new resistance members they had picked up in Terra.
There were more – plenty more – people she had yet to get the full chance to really know. Hilda brought up the rear with Eiko at her side.
"You've brought quite the reunion into this small, hindered room, Cid," Beatrix told him, her tone steady.
The two knights could already tell each and every person jammed into the space had questions ready to pour from their mouths because grinding teeth and thinned lips were trying to silence those questions out of respect.
"There was quite an entourage disappointed that they did not meet you last night."
"It was a good thing they hadn't," she cut straight to the truth – no dancing around the issue this time. "They would have seen lackluster leaders descending the ship."
She saw Eiko shrink down just a little in the back of the room. Hilda patted her head reassuringly.
"Do not be so hard on yourself," Lysandra started, hoping she wasn't being rude by cutting into the conversation. "You set out on a mission with an unstable foundation and still came back, mission completed."
"At what cost?" the brunette wondered, but more to herself than anyone else.
"That is what we've come to hear," Cid told her. "I did not ask last night, and for good reason as you speak now, Beatrix."
Her eyes shifted to Steiner for the briefest of seconds. He was trying hard not to pounce in, accusations flying this way and that, foul language make him red in the face. Steiner knew with a bit of a grudge that Beatrix was the one Cid sought out when the situation got drastic. But then she remembered the way her body had just froze when it came time to stop Dagger from running after Zidane – she couldn't even think of stopping the girl – and Steiner swooped her up like it was hardly a chore though hearing her scream that she hated him, thrashing and sobbing in his arms, had to have been one of his toughest orders to date.
"What do you want to know?" she asked, her tone tired.
Instead of letting him answer, Steiner's voice sizzled to life first. "Kuja is no small feat. Every single resistance member could pick up a sword and fight his army, and we still have a better chance of perishing than we do winning."
Many people's shoulders dropped. That was not what they were expecting to hear, though the point he made was already very well known.
"We went to Alexandria in hopes of finding Dali's mayor's young daughter. Her name is Mae, and she is one hell of a spitfire. She will grow up to do many good deeds in the world, and Zidane could see that already. We all knew we had to save her, because getting a civilian – a child involved in Kuja's catastrophe was no joking matter.
"But that was just what they expected. For the first time, we've experienced a small, raw taste of the dreamers. Their speed, agility, togetherness over a broken city – was astonishing. We didn't have any face to face combat, but the way they took Zidane, our very strongest and brightest warrior because he was a dreamer himself, was hardly even fair. It showed me a great deal how much more we still need to do – how ready we're going to have to be. Getting him back wasn't any easier. We've been on the move for months, and after coming back to our home, stressing over this boy's life, not just because he's a dreamer, but because he is a powerful part of our bonds as a resistance, we set out again, not quite sure we knew what we were walking into."
Bodies shifted, uncomfortableness spread, but every face and whole mind and soul was focused on the knight's words. If they weren't going to get sugar-coated inspiration, the dead pan, logical truth would have to do. Beatrix tried to hide her proud smile at the words he was actually speaking.
"Breaking in took skill and creativity and time. Zidane was broken and battered – we were hardly any better. But on the inside, we met an elf."
"An elf?"
"One of Kuja's people?"
"What do you mean –"
"Silence, please," Cid urged. The chatter rose and fell almost at once.
"His name was Avalanche, and he was someone Zidane met while in the dream world. Someone he had no idea until his capture was real or not. This was another dreamer – one on the inside. We were fortunately very lucky in his views. He too must have found plot holes in Kuja's story of the resistance ransacking Alexandria because he was the only reason we were able to get our teammate to safety. The way out was just as tough. Beatrix was stabbed, and we lost two very dear friends on our way. Not only is Kuja against us, but Gaia seems to be as well. Blank was petrified in the forest, and a beast leapt out of the darkness, leading to Zenero's sacrifice to save the rest of his team."
Things were silent. No one dared breathe.
"We returned in shambles. There was nothing left of us – no greatness or awe in a rescue to see. I speak today because I know each and every one of you plays an important part in this resistance, so there is nothing I can stress more than the truth so you can convey it to those you've influenced and trained, and so on and so forth. We need to stand united."
Cid blinked, clearly surprised. In his befuddlement at the beginning of the speech, he hadn't any idea Steiner would speak the truth so bluntly and briskly. Was that really what had happened to his closest group of warriors on their descent from the fallen city?
Lysandra was the first to let on a grin. She fist pumped the air, "We're going to kick Kuja's ass. No way in hell am I going down without a decent fight! I did not come from the Forgotten Continent to let Adelbert Steiner's words scare me off!"
A devious fire flickered in her eyes as she bounced like she was ready for battle already.
A smile sprouted on Beatrix's lips. Turning her head towards the knight as cheers broke out and more slanders at the enemy were presented, pride swelled in her chest in physical pain. Or maybe it was the injury talking… Whatever it was, she didn't want it to stop any time soon.
They might not have the skill or the manpower to overcome Kuja's entire world of an army, but they had the spirit and if they were fortunate – if they had the luck - to pull off a win.
As Tantalus would say –
It sounded so crazy, it just might work.
As Dagger stretched out in her chair, watching Vivi's head lull to the side in sleep again, she half expected Blank to walk in the door. It was always her outwardly calmest moments – nothing going on around her and everything bursting inside of her – when he managed to show up and somehow quell it all.
But it was Ruby today, whose light footfalls were heard before she was seen. The girl, two years her senior, looked like a mess. Her hair hung in a loose bun on top of her head, and she looked so foreign and exposed without her blonde locks falling around her face perfectly. Her eyes were puffy and red, though she wouldn't admit to anyone that she'd been crying.
Dagger felt much the same, though she hadn't any more tears to cry out. Inching over by shuffling her body to the side, she patted the makeshift bench and the girl didn't need to be told twice to plop down next to her friend.
Neither spoke for a long while. Both sets of eyes trailed sluggishly between the slumbering mage and the unconscious genome. Neither girl noticed, but their hands had intertwined in a supportive, terrified way between them.
"What if things don't start lookin' up?" Ruby whispered, not even looking at the raven. Her almond eyes drooped as she gazed at the wall, curling her knees up to her chest.
"They will," the younger of the two murmured back, though disagreement tightened in her stomach.
The quiet was deafening. She didn't like to lie. She didn't like to watch Ruby so broken while spewing empty words. But experience had shown them all, hatefully through the years, that they still had further to fall before they could begin to climb.
Dagger nearly flinched at her own thoughts. Ruby's hand curled defensively tighter around her own. What more could they lose? She thought about the injury and loss they'd already sustained and wondered if injury would turn to death. Her eyes rolled instinctively to Zidane.
His face was bruised and swollen, though his throat didn't seem so bad anymore. The rise and fall of his chest was visible from a distance (finally), and though both she and Freya thought it best that his limbs stay in splints, they didn't look so angry and lumpy like the bones hadn't quite adjusted to each other again.
There wasn't a day that went by that she didn't thank Kuja's ignorance. He could have used that spell powder on the blonde like he had Beatrix, and then Zidane would have been dead no question.
"Cinna needs something to do," Ruby blurted and Dagger suspected she hadn't meant to say anything at all, but the words continued. "He don't let nobody see, but I can tell – he's worried sick, and he's hurtin'. His best friend and boss are missin', and half his team's been torn up to pieces."
Dagger's heart physically hurt. Her entire chest decided to clench, constricting on itself as she thought of the boy. He was always trying to put on a show for others, and that made her wonder when people like that got the time to be sad.
"He's tough." She answered the blonde. "Tougher than anyone gives him credit for."
Ruby waited for her to say more – hoping she would say anything to ease the guilt ridden in the young actress' mind.
"But you're right, we should do something."
"Cinna wasn't orphaned because of the war," the blonde suddenly spilled. Dagger turned to her, startled that she continued to talk about her teammate. Ruby fiddled with the worn hem of her skirt, her slender fingers sliding against the soft fabric. "He never knew his parents at all."
She continued to stare at the girl next to her, hoping she would elaborate further. The more she thought about it, the more Dagger realized that not many people knew anything about Cinna besides his love for baking, women, and engineering all with that goofy grin.
Ruby gave a half-hearted smile, her eyes looking like she was farther into the past than Dagger could go with her. Her head was cocked to the side, and the almond color of her irises seemed to blur, like the memory was so fond and so distant it wasn't meant for times of war and hurt.
"We asked him once. We all knew each other's background, ya see. Baku had to explain to everybody why Blank was so pissy all the time –" Dagger didn't miss the way that Ruby's fingers tightened around hers when she mentioned the redhead, "- and Zidane and I had blurted ours out without a care. Sometimes you could hear Zenero and Benero talking about their clan, though we don't know for sure how they wound up in Lindblum. Marcus' parents had died in the first attack on Dragon's Gate – back when there used to be a lil' settlement for travel and trade and a small village out there. But it hasn't been that way since Marcus was 'bout five. But Cinna – he'd been there even longer than Marcus, but never seemed down…"
She still stared at the wall, her eyes out of focus, but her voice turned sad and pained. "We was all strugglin' with the nightmares. We'd wake up in cold sweats, the rest of everybody layin' all 'round us in that loft and on the floors and on the chairs. Nightmares would wake most of us up – the ones who grew outta them woke up on account of the screamin' from others. It wasn't easy growin' up a Tantalus kid – before we was all split into teams."
Dagger swept her hair from her eyes, allowing herself to become engulfed in Ruby's story. She could feel the pain rolling off of the girl, and she tried to imagine a world so foreign, with kids she didn't know and that she would have never met had the war not fallen upon them.
"We all wondered 'bout him, and one day, Marcus turned to him when we was all sittin' up on the loft after a hard day of trainin'. His shoulders were kinda slumped and he seemed like he didn't wanna ask, but he did, but we never thought Cinna would reply."
"Where'd you come from anyways?"
Their ages ranged between ten and fourteen, and not only was it the small, tightly-knit group, but others who had evacuated a building across the theater district. Guards were cracking down on the homes for orphans who didn't seem like they were up to any good, and sometimes entire households of different Tantalus teams were shut down. Normally, evacuation lead to Baku's hideout – he was always letting new recruits in to stay for a while so long as he got the money for their extra food from the higher ups in Tantalus, and they listened to what his boys said – it was their house, after all.
Cinna snorted, rubbing his face with a laugh. "I clearly come from the human race, Marcus – I thought you knew that already!"
"You look more like the Nero brothers if you ask me," Blank sniffed, crossing his arms over his chest. He was bitter because Cinna continually whooped his ass during morning training and blamed it solely on Blank's shortness.
"Was that an insult?" Benero asked, stirring rigidly from his relaxed position against the wall.
The redhead rolled his eyes dramatically. "Not to you."
"You know what I mean, bonehead."
"Bonehead?!" One boy hooted, flopped on a prong of the latter below the loft. "What are you, five?!"
"You best shut your mouth!" another boy - Cinna's age – barked. "Or that Baku will come and kick you on your ass! I seen it happen before!"
"Oh Baku isn't so bad," Zidane chuckled, resting his chin on his hands folded on the railing in front of him. His feet and tail dangled off of the side of their large loft. "You really warm up to him!"
"Hardly!" the little boy from before snorted. "That man is incappable of any asseptince!"
"That's incapable and acceptance," Zenero corrected with a grin. "Get your facts straight kid."
"Let's listen to what Marcus has to say instead of bickerin' huh?" Ruby grumbled at them, having thought about Marcus' question to the thief and becoming genuinely interested.
Someone stuck their tongue out at her when she wasn't looking, about to snap some rude, rowdy remark at her before Blank punched him in the gut. There was a well-ignored gasp and some wheezing as everyone stared up at the duo again.
Cinna shrugged, "What do you mean?"
"You know," Marcus mirrored his movements, his shoulders lifting and then sagging again. "Zidane came from Terra, I came from the DG settlement, Ruby from Treno – you've got to have a backstory too! You've been here longer than the rest of us."
The rest of the boys who weren't normally living in Baku's Tantalus hideout clicked their mouths shut, lips sealed and teeth clenched together. They were all too young to understand (or have the privilege of knowing) the true politics of Tantalus, but Cinna, in his ten years of life, had been in the rebel acting group longer than some of the chairmen of the whole troupe. Hearing from the boys and girls who'd been here longest was like a gift.
He didn't seem phased though as he tilted his head at his best friend. "Honestly, I have no idea!"
"Whadd'ya mean?" A little girl with her thumb constantly in her mouth despite being eight, and her dagger always strapped too high on her waist asked.
He moved his shoulders noncommittally, too nonchalant for the rest of his friends to be comfortable. "My parents didn't die in the war like a lot of your parents did."
"You mean they're still alive?!"
"Where are they?"
"Why don't you go to them?!"
"What are they like?!"
Cinna ferociously shook his head, waving his arms in big, dramatic motions. "No, no! Stop with the questions!" he grinned for a moment before continuing. "I'm just a regular orphan. My fat baby self all wrapped up in a blanket was dropped off in front of a children's home in Lindblum. I have no idea who my parents were or if they're still alive now. I was about three when Baku said he found me. I remember vaguely the other kids who were supposed to be watching me left me out on a street – or that's what I guess. I get the impression none of the homes had a real strict policy on coming and going."
Everyone was silent for a moment. Zidane sat up and craned his neck back to look at his friend. Cinna didn't seem particularly bothered by the story.
"I never thought to tell anyone because I didn't think it mattered. With or without this war, I like to think I would have ended up in Tantalus anyways," he smirked, rubbing his head. "My life is basically the same now as it would have been, except I have you guys! You're my family – you always have been. I don't have to worry about a life lost because I never had one to begin with. It's okay that you guys are sad, it's okay that you miss your families, but my family is right in front of me."
A couple of the younger kids sniffled. They stared around at each other, remembering the families they had once, or at least the idea of it. But looking around at each other and embracing Cinna's words left a bittersweet taste in their mouth.
"My brother," Marcus laughed. It was loud and clear and he flung his arm around Cinna's neck good naturedly. "I wouldn't want it any other way."
And Cinna's grin became huge. Because he remembered Marcus softly telling him, Zidane and the Nero brothers one night that he had little sisters. Twin sisters, two years younger than him. He didn't remember their faces a lot anymore, but he remembered their eyes matched his and their laughs were like bells – the same as his mother's. To hear that he didn't regret this life was the best thing anyone could have said to Cinna.
"We are a family," Zidane smiled, his sapphire eyes sweeping the faces of his brothers and sisters.
"Blank are ya cryin'?!" Ruby yelled suddenly, pointing down at the redhead who was sitting backwards in a chair.
All eyes fell to him, laughter erupted, mocks were shouted, and Blank leapt up in defense, yelling that he had something in his eye.
Cinna's laugh chimed with the rest of the boys and girls up on the loft. This was a typical response of their group – big or small. Brothers… He glanced at Marcus, whose face held the seriousness of this moment underneath his smirk and bright eyes. Yeah. Cinna liked the sound of that.
Ruby shifted on the bench, as though coming back to the infirmary room in the forest on the Outer Continent. She turned her head, her eyes sharp again but her expression dazed. "I'm sorry," she said, her accent thick with emotion. "I don' know why I told ya that story."
Dagger smiled, her own eyes shimmering as she tilted her head, her hair falling over her shoulder. "It's okay Ruby. I'm glad you did." She nodded then, "You're right… Let's find something to do for Cinna."
Ruby closed her eyes, as though suddenly content. As though she realized maybe she was helping, piece by piece, and maybe there was still a little hope left for her family after all.
A/N: So maybe that was a little bit of a filler, but I think the calmness of that chapter is what is deserved after these last ten hectic ones! I'm so glad that I got to do a little inkling on Cinna and Marcus' past, because I haven't done that, and they've become such crucial characters that I think they deserve at least a little of the spotlight.
I am still in awe as to how far this story has come, and I'm so happy for it. Never 100 chapters ago did I think that Cinna and Marcus and Ruby would be center characters enough to do moments like this with them, but I'm glad it's come to that. Thanks for reading, guys!
Also, I'm so sorry about me being so MIA. I DEFINITELY didn't realize it had really been this long since I updated! College is a bitch – never grow up if you can :P But I'm slowly making progress so just bear with me a little longer! And again, I literally love the reviews and the rambles, don't think you're bothering me! I love all of your thoughts in your reviews! :D
-zesty-
