Filling In The Blanks

Disclaimer: I don't own FFIX or any of its characters.

A/N: So I just want to make a quick note that Steiner and Beatrix know only a third party look on that end bit with Alexander from the last chapter. I wanted to include it because I wanted you guys to know what happened, but of course they couldn't know what the eidolon said to Victoria, or how she was feeling at the very end there… Just what someone perhaps still in the town could tell them That is all.

Chapter 111: This is the Truth

To say that the entire story enticed her would have been an understatement.

She was hooked on their every word, and was so star-struck with the idea of knowing who her parents were before this war took them enthralled her so much that Steiner and Beatrix could have rattled off some ridiculous fact about fish from the river, and she probably would have believed that was part of it.

It took her a long moment to say anything, and the two knights shift uncomfortably in their seats. These things that they had just told the girl about had happened so long ago – so many years had gone by but the hurt was close to the surface. That devastating night still lingered in both of their minds.

"How do you know that part happened? In the end, with Alexander?"

"We ran into a small group who had survived. I do not know if we'll ever know how many people survived that attack on Alexandria, for it is very hard to get them to come forward. Victoria's voice that every citizen still in the area had heard that night had specifically instructed them to keep quiet – probably because anyone with the knowledge of the eidolon in Alexandria would be tortured for information or murdered for being there and surviving the first time."

"Luckily, they recognized us from a small raid we dealt with in a traveling camp outside of Treno."

"Wow," Dagger breathed, but then glanced at them, a sudden, terrifying hope in her eyes. "Wait… so my mother's death has never been confirmed."

"Dagger…" Steiner started.

"Nobody ever said that she had died! She protected the city with that eidolon! What if that eidolon protected her! It could happen! Let's ask Eiko –"

"Dagger," Beatrix said a little more bravely. "Dagger this is one of the reasons we didn't want to tell you. I know it sounds like the story isn't complete but… she's gone. Your mother died protecting you, and doing what she could to protect her city."

Dagger stared down at her hands. Something inside of her wanted to fight with them, but the more rational side of her heart told her that they were right. Nobody could have survived once Kuja moved in, and he had swooped in fast. That part nobody had ever hesitated in telling her.

"My mother and father sounded like they really loved each other."

The knights smiled.

"More than anyone I know," Steiner commented slowly. "The acceptance and absolute trust in each other was astonishing – even for people like us now, who have no choice but to abide by those ideals."

"I have… faint memories of my mother. Very faint. But," she sighed, "I wish I could have met my father. If I were to rule, I would want to be like him."

"You have your mother's spirit and your father's mind already Dagger. Though you might never know it, you'll have plenty of people reminding you of that for the rest of your life. And now," Steiner reached out and took her hand gently – something he hadn't done since she was significantly younger, "you'll know what they're talking about."

She let out a small laugh that sounded sort of like a sob, and she realized then that tears brimmed over her eyes and slid down her cheeks softly, and she hadn't even realized it.

"I know you told me a long time ago not to mourn the people I never knew, but…"

That was true. Steiner, Beatrix and Cid had had to constantly remind the girl not to mourn those she never knew. When Dagger first became truly aware of the dangers in the world – when she began learning advanced white magic, learning how to fight with a team, and began going on raids – the world was harsh to her. Her innocent, bright eyes had been dulled by the murder and horror that had been inflicted on a place as once-beautiful as Gaia had been. Many times, each of them had had to hold her when she was young, rocking her back and forth as she tried to cry away all of the children who were lost, parents who were ripped away, and siblings and husbands and wives and friends that were all gone because of the power that Kuja craved. All of those people sacrificed for one man's greed was too much for her to handle.

She had a gentle heart – that much they knew. And it was hard to get her to come along with them instead of watching others bury another wife, or to stop the tears from flowing when another child was trampled in the streets.

War was hard, and someone with the purity that Dagger had – pacifistic by nature but unable to act upon that belief was dreadful. She was tough, but she was gentle all at once.

"But I just…" she almost laughed as she tried to wipe the tears away, but they kept coming. "I really wish I could have known them. I wish I could go to them for advice, and I wish that I could tell these stories to people who would listen, instead of the other way around."

All Beatrix and Steiner could do was give her a pitying look. What else could they do, after so long of keeping such a secret? After so long of training Dagger to be strong, and of always having to be strong themselves, even when they didn't feel it, what else could they tell the girl?

Before either knight came to a conclusion, she let out a large breath and wiped her face one more time with her ungloved hand. With still-watery eyes, she smiled at them, "But I…" she remembered Kalipso in Cleyra and recalled the awful visions she had of a future where war hadn't stricken the world. "I wouldn't want this any other way." She reached out with her free hand and grasped Beatrix's hand, completing their small circle. "I have you two… and I have Cid…" she whispered. "I couldn't ask for anything better than that."

If they had come from a softer generation, both Steiner and Beatrix might have broken into tears and hugged her silently. But this was a different world, and a different time entirely, so instead they let on genuine smiles and squeezed her hand a little tighter.

It had been a long time since they'd felt this united at all.


It was time.

No more secrets.

No more games.

Zidane heaved himself up on the rocks behind his pillow and took a few deep breaths, before taking his first steps. Pain shot up his leg as he limped, looking over dramatic but needing it to be that way as he walked.

A few more deep breaths and some squaring of his shoulders, and he tried to mask whatever aching was spider webbing up and through his body. He bit down too hard on his lip and blood pooled into his mouth. A grumble escaped from his throat.

Morrison, the moogle on watch, fluttered his wings as fast as he could, dragging the clunky clutch along with him. "Please, kupo! At least take this! They'll sheer me if they know I've let you leave without it, kupo!"

The blonde pitched another sigh and gingerly took the walking device from the moogle. Staring at it in ill-contempt for a moment, he slung it under his arm and used it to help him out into the sunlight.

Though he wondered if Madain Sari ever had a cloudy or rainy day at all, today seemed less bright, like there was a haze of transparent clouds over the sky. He wiped at his mouth, setting his brow with determination; he was going to find someone to talk.

The looks he got were maybe a little intimidating. It had been another two days since Dagger and Amarant dragged him out to the water and there were a total of three highly-intensive healing sessions in that time. With that, Zidane thought it was the perfect time to answer his questions, but this would mark his first venture out without anyone to help him.

Still, he had had no word about where Tantalus had all run off to and why he hadn't seen any of them. Vivi had visited him yesterday, and on one last attempt, he had cornered the mage into asking him, though he stumbled and spluttered through one lousy sentence and then Dagger walked in, so he had had to shut his mouth.

A mutter rose and fell in the crowd around him. He hadn't any idea that so many people just lounged around doing nothing during the day, and he had to admit he was no longer used to being around all of these people. Some secret part of him yearned for the days in Dali before Mae was abducted.

Large, wondering eyes stared shamelessly at him, and harsh whispers continued down the line of people as they scooted out of the way for him. It was like none of them had seen him before. But then Zidane had to chuckle. Many of them hadn't seen him coming back from an inch of life before – that's probably what it was.

Despite the uncomfortable walk through a whole two open coves – and not to mention the line of Bermecians that one guy – whose name always seemed to slip Zidane's mind – had brought back from Daguerreo who had to press against the wall through a tight passage of canyon-way so he could hobble past them – he had finally found someone who would help him, whether they wanted to or not.

"Ruby!" he called, "Cinna!"

Their heads snapped up like they'd been caught taking extra portions of fish. Ruby's expression cracked and she was slow to move while Cinna tried to leap up and puff away; she caught his arm before he was able to go too far.

With his call, he had attracted just about everyone else in the clearing, including a now-curiosity piqued Amarant, and lounging, slightly irritable, Lysandra.

Since he'd been through two clearings already, he was used to the way people didn't bother being quiet as he passed, though their words blurred together with his tunnel vision.

"Zidane! We didn't know yer up and walkin'!"

"Yeah…" he started, a little awkwardly. "Today's the day…" he trailed.

His two friends stared at him, shaky, fake smiles on their face. Ruby was twisting her white gloves so much they were coming halfway off her hand, and Cinna kept shifting from one foot to another.

Finally, after a few moments of silence, Zidane started his interrogation.

"So what's going on?"

"What do ya mean?" Ruby asked, tilting her head. Her blonde hair fell over her shoulder; it was getting long, even since she had cut it in Treno.

He was leaning heavily on the crutch, both arms almost encircling it and both gloved hands gripping the wooden handle. He was in full gear, but hardly even in a position to walk. The blonde shifted, wincing as he did so. He didn't miss that when he flinched, so did they.

"Well, I mean I haven't seen you guys at all. Where have you been?"

Cinna gestured widely and blurted without meaning to, "Busy. There are a lot of people to look after."

Zidane really wanted to ask why they didn't seem so insistent on helping him. It hardly looked like the two were doing anything to console or aid anyone when he first walked in. But he held his tongue, knowing that throwing attitude was the worst way to go about this.

"Where has everyone else been? I guess if you guys didn't want to see me lookin' so gruesome," he pained a grin, trying to keep it light, "I thought for sure Blank would have been in. Or Baku, you know, to beat the shit out of me…"

He tilted his head, mimicking Ruby's earlier innocent gesture.

"They've been busy… also. Training. It's really intense out here…" Cinna blabbed, while Ruby at the same time said, "Ya'll have been missin' out; they been on reckon missions for supplies to Conde Petie."

Zidane's eyes narrowed, his patience finally wearing thin. "Alright guys. What's really going on? I've been through hell and back, and I know the last time I was basically dead –" they flinched again; Ruby finally pulled off her glove and started twisting the entire thing, "- nobody could leave me alone. So where is everyone? Did they get tired of the constant trouble I seem to get everyone in?"

At that moment, Lysandra was upon them, hands firmly placed on her hips. "What seems to be the problem here, kiddies?"

"Nothing," they all said at once.

"Nothing, huh?"

"I'm just having a chat with my friends," Zidane turned his attention back to Ruby and Cinna, "we are still friends, aren't we?"

"You sure you should be up walking around?" she asked, her voice a little more tender this time.

"I'm fine," he bit back curtly.

She stiffened again like he had offended her, "Whatever, kid. Hope your friends put you in a better mood," she walked away grumbling, nearly toppling over a hippo-creature who was in the middle of squeezing by Amarant – who was refusing to move.

"Zidane, what's wrong with you today?" Cinna asked slowly, unsure what sort of an answer he would get.

"I'm just not sure why I can't even have a conversation with anyone about what happened at Alexandria – you know… any of what happened, without them stumbling over their words or running away."

The guilt was now plainly clear on their faces.

"And while I don't blame you guys for not having better stuff to do than come sit in a dark cave with me while I try not to die," they jerked back again at his words, "I just thought someone would want to come in and give me an update on the world. If I wouldn't have thought any better, I thought you guys were all dead –"

As he finished his heavy guilt-inducing speech, Cinna finally blurted out the words, much to the horror (but no surprise) to Ruby, who smacked herself in the face with her glove and hand, half nervous and half exasperated that he spilled the secret.

"We're the only two here. Zenero, man… He died in the forest after we picked you up. Got stabbed by a fang who came and attacked us –" he choked on the last couple of words, and tried not to make eye contact with Zidane.

In the meantime, the genome's entire being shook. He gripped the stressing wooden crutch even harder and all anger washed out of him, but replacing it was heavy, icy despair. Zenero had died? All because they went in to get Zidane out?

"Beatrix was stabbed with that cursed powder, so we were going to lose her just as fast as you. We were tryin' to get you guys out of the forest as fast as we could, but it got pissed, like the forest itself was actually angry that we were there! And the whole thing started to petrify, and Marcus fell and couldn't see straight cause he bashed his head on the ground –" his arms were flailing all over the place and his speech continued getting faster and faster. Ruby's second glove was off – the first one had fallen to the ground as grief screwed up her face. "And Blank helped him up but there wasn't enough time for both of them to get out, so Blank is petrified in the Evil Forest! And Marcus and Baku – as soon as we got to Dali – as soon as they knew you were goin' home to heal, they took off. They said they were going to Treno to look for a supersoft to get Blank out, and they haven't been back yet and damn that was weeks ago now!"

If there hadn't been a crutch, Zidane would have collapsed.

Tears were spilling down Ruby's face and Cinna's heart was hammering in his ears.

They all stared at each other, only vaguely aware people were still around them. None of them noticed that the entire space was staring at them.

"Nobody wanted to tell me that?" Zidane whispered, horror-struck with anger rising from the pit of his stomach. "Nobody wanted to tell me that two of my brothers are gone? Two are basically missing and Blank –" his voice cracked. He shook his head. "Fuck!"

"Zidane!" Amarant called, his voice low. "I think it's time we get you back to get some rest."

The redhead's eyebrows actually shot up and his jaw went slack when he saw how nasty of a death glare the genome was able to produce. The man was otherwise ignored with his remark.

Amarant grumbled something about ungrateful brats before he pushed through to the next walkway out of the clearing.

"Why wouldn't you guys just tell me?!" he nearly bellowed, staring at them with his chest rising and falling fast. His ribs ached.

"We was tryin' to find a time –"

"You can't just find a time to tell someone his family is dead!" his voice was shrill and mildly panicked. A deep scowl etched itself on his face. "Neither of you thought it was an important factor!?"

"They told us to wait so you could heal. They were afraid of how you'd react –" Cinna tried explaining, having realized his mistake of talking all too quickly and trying to slow himself down again.

"How could I not react badly! Zenero is dead!" he yelled, shaking his head. "Blank might as well be too!" in his rage, he didn't see Ruby's face crumple. "And fuck, who knows what happened to Marcus and Baku! We didn't exactly leave Treno – or the Mist Continent for that matter – in very good standings! Fuck!"

"Zidane –"

"No!" he yelled, his throat constricting and his heartbeat drowning out their voices. He shook his head. "No…" his lips puckered, and then he threw down his crutch and set off without it.

"Zidane!"

"Stop!"

"What are you doing?!"

Multiple people lunged at him then, and if he was in a better mindset, he would have thought it funny that all he needed to do was throw a tantrum to have people remember who he was, instead of gawk at him like they were seeing a ghost.

He shrugged off any hands that settled themselves on him and tried to move quicker towards the exit. He grunted, his blonde hair falling in front of his face as his leg pulsated every time he walked. It felt like a two foot shard of glass was jammed up through his leg and pelvic bone from the bottom of his foot, but he clamped down on his tongue and moved as swiftly as he could.

Ruby hadn't moved. She stood petrified where his harsh words had left her, wallowing in the doubt she had been trying to keep from showing since she'd let Marcus and Baku go without her.

And Cinna was constantly being sworn at by Zidane, trying to stop him without hurting him, only to get jostled back because the genome didn't want his help. "You certainly didn't want to give it before!" he grouched coldly as he continued forward.

That line had stopped Cinna in his tracks, blubbering the same way Ruby was.

The entire clearing was nearly yelling then, trying to tell each other what to do about the dreamer, and if they agreed with him or with the two Tantalus members. People began shouting about things that hardly had anything to do with the genome at all, but with the war itself – like how it was perilous and entirely unlikely that they would survive.

Amarant finally reentered the clearing, hurriedly, directly in front of Steiner and Dagger – amongst others who had stopped their training to come see what all the commotion was about. Cid was amongst them, but was lost in the crowd in his efforts to keep Hilda next to him in case any decision making needed a quantitative front.

Steiner stared, irritation flashing in his eyes as he gently shuffled people out of the way so he could storm up to Zidane. Dagger hung back, unable to decide how she felt about the situation. But every time the blonde put weight on his leg, she unconsciously shuffled forward a couple of feet, like she wanted to run to catch him – to stop him.

The ex-knight said nothing until he had marched up to Zidane, successfully blocking his path and proving without saying or doing anything that if the genome tried to go around him, Steiner was much quicker.

But Zidane was already on top of it. He put his hand up, rage flickering on his face. "Not this time, Rusty," he said. He sounded solemn, like he was really, truly sad that he had to say those grave words.

Steiner stared down at him like he was speaking to a child. "Not this time?" he started, his voice rough. The tone of it must have surprised Zidane, because the younger of the two's entire expression changed. "Oh no," Steiner started again, the words sounding more like a growl, "I haven't been able to stop you any other time. This time, you'll stop playing reckless, butt hurt –" he picked that phrase up from some teenagers Boky had rounded up from Treno, and he rather liked the aggressive point it made, even if it did sound a little silly coming from him, "- hero and stay put!"

"You can't tell me you're ordering me around when you didn't want to tell me my best friend is gone and that Zenero was dead!"

"Clearly I had good intention of not telling you, because look at how childish you're acting!" Steiner yelled in his face.

"If I can't trust you guys to tell me what's going on, who can I trust, huh?! How many people did you have to pit against me?!"

"This isn't a game, Zidane!" Steiner ran a hand over his face. "This isn't a matter of ganging up on you, or keeping things from you – this is the matter of your safety because you clearly need someone looking out for you, because you do a damn poor job of it yourself!"

"I don't need this from you –"

"Oh no! You are going to hear it from me! I'm done letting you act like you can do whatever you want because we can't afford to lose you! Did you ever think for a moment we went in to rescue you because Dagger loves you, or that Vivi loves you, or that Tantalus loves you?! Or did you really think we would risk the lives of our most elite members – who have been with us the longest – just because we needed your talents?!"

"Don't pull that shit on me, Steiner!" Zidane didn't hesitate to pull out his worst either. "You haven't liked me from day one! I bet it wasn't your choice going in there –"

"Get over yourself!" he yelled, noting with dull humor how much like Beatrix he sounded when he was yelling at someone. "You will never know what we went through – what hell we went through getting you back from Kuja's clutches!" his voice rose into mild hysteria. Cid came to hover behind him, having finally made it to the front, just in case this fight got any more intense. "You have no idea the exhaustion, the heartbreak, the frustration – from everyone that we couldn't get close to you! You have no idea how hard it was for me to watch Dagger struggle to sleep, listening to her and Eiko whisper to each other in the dead of night until one of them started to cry because the situation just wasn't looking up! You do not know how hard Amarant pushed us to get there – to give us as many attempts at saving you as we could fit in without killing ourselves! You'll have no idea the amount of requests for saving Zidane we were given by your very brothers before they died and were petrified, and hell, even before they set off to Treno.

"You went and got yourself kidnapped when this entire mission was your plan in the first place! Your plan because some idiot told you, you were a menace and only hurting the resistance! Get over it kid, not everyone is going to like you! Hell, that same bastard ended up in a fucking jail cell with you so I think that speaks loads about him! I'm tired of us working our asses off for your requests and your trouble just for you to throw it all away again! Not anymore! Not ever again! You're going to fall in line and start listening so this damn resistance can get functional once again! We've been a mess since the collapse in Dali, and it's high time you start contributing to getting it back on its feet instead of tearing it down!" his voice nearly broke, "And all you have to do to help us with that is just sit still and trust our decisions!"

There was silence – from everyone – for a few moments. No one dared even breathe, let alone move. Cid's hand was still hovering midair to pull Steiner back – to let him know maybe he was going too far. Those were some pretty harsh words set on a teenager who was only trying to help.

Dagger's eyes were wide, but her arms hung limp at her sides; she couldn't believe what was happening. Her knees were pointed towards each other in a protective position, like she was ready to put her arms up at defense despite the way they dangled.

"You're right," Zidane said quietly. His heart rate seemed to go back to normal, and the blood wasn't pounding in his ears anymore. Listening to Steiner had surprisingly calmed him down, and he was seeing a little more clearly, though he suspected he could probably get that rage back if he started thinking about the situation again.

But he didn't want to. Because Steiner was right, as terrible as he was about it.

"You're right," he repeated again and then cleared his throat. He made eye contact with the knight this time, whose face hadn't changed from the hard mask of anger it had just been in. "I'm sorry. I've been disrespectful, and naïve about how much you guys have given for me. And I'm sorry."

He turned (and with it missed the flash of gentle surprise across Steiner's face) hoping that retreating would make the situation a little better. What had he been thinking anyways, running after Marcus and Baku? He couldn't even get around Steiner, let alone all of the soldiers he'd have to dodge on the way there. And no one would have ever given it the okay: what was he going to do – walk all the way there?

While he still felt in his heart he should have been with them, he knew there was nothing he could do now – no way he could have been there… he wasn't even conscious when any of this happened.

A sudden, harsh ripple of pain rumbled through his entire body – every injury that had been healed over the last however long he'd been out of Kuja's grasp – came at him for a brief moment, full throttle.

He had to slam his teeth down on his tongue to stop from crying out. But then blood pooled in his mouth anyways. It was gone quickly, and he continued walking.

"Zidane!" Dagger whispered to him, and he turned lightly to see that she had been making her way to him. "Let me help you."

She latched on to his side, holding him upright as best she could, and for a moment he embraced her. As soon as Dagger met him, the world seemed to pick back up again, and the other rebels went back to their conversations and rediscovered what they were doing before the entire fight started.

"I'm alright, Dagger," he said softly despite his wounded tone. "But I think you should go back to training. I don't want to create any more of a scene."

"But –"

He kissed her forehead lightly and smiled down at her. It was genuine, but she could tell that the embarrassment was still lingering underneath the mildly cheeky expression. "I'll be okay. Let's not cause any trouble," he tossed his head lightly to the side and her eyes slid back to Steiner, whose face was still screwed up with a variety of emotions.

She bit her lip and stepped away from him, "Hold on," she picked her way back to Steiner and stared at him for a moment before gently picking up the crutch and bringing it back to Zidane. "At least use this, please. You're doing so great with healing, I don't want to put you back."

He nodded at her with a smile, no longer in the mood to argue. "Thank you," he said before taking it and sucking in a deep breath, starting his long trek back. "Dagger," he called over his shoulder quietly.

She was still there, hands laced behind her back almost formally, watching him go. "Yes?"

"Don't be too hard on Steiner, okay?"

It was her turn to sigh as she nodded, "Okay."


He really couldn't go back to that forsaken cave.

Now that he had let everybody know (loud and clear) that he was capable of moving about by himself, no matter how tiring or painful, he wasn't sure he would ever return to the healing cove – not even to get his sleeping mat. Zidane had been used to sleeping in strange places the last couple of years, and finding a soft patch of soil out in the fresh air sounded better than any thin mattress any day.

With some stroke of luck, he found the path Amarant had dragged him down to the water a few days ago and was able to hobble down on his own. It was cool, the cove of water hidden from the sun though the reflection of the shimmering current replicated clearly on the ceiling of the rock. The jagged texture of the dome obscured the crisp lines, but it was relaxing enough to look at. The rich undertones of color here made up for any lack of clarity on the ceiling, and nothing could beat the sound of the water.

He collapsed on the dock and laid back, resting his tired body. It ached every time his heart beat, but he chalked it up to a victory, for at least with every beat he was reminded that he was still alive.

The genome was definitely feeling guilty about the poor behavior he showed today. He wasn't sure he'd ever acted so childish in all his time with the resistance. Usually so upbeat, the accusations he made at Ruby and Cinna weren't fair, and he wished already that he could take them back, though he didn't regret gaining the information on his friends.

His eyes unfocused as he tried to bring Zenero's face into his mind. He had yet to get the full details on how his friend passed away, so not even the consoling words of his acceptance and release to see Benero again could console him.

He would have gladly died for his brother too, and that was the only comfort he could take out of the situation. Zenero – and Blank too – sacrificed themselves to see his safety through.

Blank.

Blank.

Tears stung the back of his vision and he had to roll over to stop from sobbing outright. There was something cruel about the way he'd been torn away from the redhead, having sacrificed himself many times – only for Blank to turn around and do the same thing? Now he was feeling how the redhead felt time and time again and it wasn't pretty. He assumed that's where all the anger had come from a couple hours ago.

They'd been on the Outer Continent for a month, give or take, these days; at least, that's what Zidane had added together in his head. It had been over a month since Marcus and Baku had set off back to the dangerous city of Treno that they had scampered out of, barely with their lives, to try and find an item no one was even sure existed. They'd either been caught, or so far had no luck finding such a healing concoction, and neither scenario was very uplifting.

He rubbed at his face in an attempt to calm himself back down. He felt so behind – everything was falling apart just as it started to get better and he was way behind in life; way behind in knowing who was gone and who was here these days.

The way Steiner had stared at him with frustrated rage blazed in his mind like the scar of the sun's light if you were to blink up at it too long. His self-doubt had shown through, and he had actually let it slip that he still didn't think Steiner liked him much. And why would he if Zidane was going to act like this? The way he spilled how difficult it had been to bring him back from Alexandria made his stomach churn. Why had they gone through that? Why didn't they just let him die?

Zidane rolled again to his back and continued staring up at the ceiling. He took a few deep breaths and tried to push the entire situation from his mind. The others were probably coming up with a frightening theory that he had played it off like Steiner had won the fight and found some other way to sneak out of Madain Sari from the way he wasn't in his cove like he'd been for the last month. Would they even believe him if he said he'd just been laying down by the water, too claustrophobic to return to that mock-hospital in the dark?

"Silly the way we work, isn't it?"

He nearly fell off the dock he was so surprised. Scrambling to rise into a sitting position, his sapphire eyes fell on Mikoto, standing a few feet away with her arms behind her back and tail visible to the side.

Her expression wasn't exactly amused, but it wasn't as sour as it usually was either. She looked more curious than anything else.

"What do you mean?"

She gestured – almost quizzically – around her. "Us genomes."

"I still don't follow," he admitted as he fixed his position. His leg had been sitting awkwardly underneath him and he stretched it out in front of him, making the worn muscles groan.

"We are either fiery passionate – as you've just demonstrated," then she motioned to herself, "or we lack so much emotion people question our humanity."

"I don't think anyone –"

"They do. I hear them speak. I hear them more clearly than anyone, I think. I don't really have a lot of people to talk to, so I listen."

"Do you miss Marcus?"

She stared at Zidane for a moment, her head tilted to the side. He turned away from her, not liking the way it reminded him of Ruby.

"Yes," she answered finally.

Zidane shrugged then, the tips of hair that had fallen from its ponytail grazing his bare shoulders, "That makes you human enough, I think."

"Perhaps," she mused before stepping forward. "May I?"

"Feel free," he said. That was something he really admired about the other genome. Mikoto was straight to the point, and didn't feel like she needed to pointlessly fill the conversation with niceties and small talk. And her lackluster enthusiasm about faked niceness rubbed off in a pleasant way on those she communicated with. Zidane felt like he didn't need to say more than a few words to answer, and she would understand like he wrote her an entire speech.

"Aren't genomes funny?" she asked him again, sitting next to him, but dangling her legs off the dock. Her shoes just grazed the top of the water – it had risen since Zidane and Garnet had gone out into the ocean.

"I guess so," he half-answered. He tried to think objectively – tried to think of the times where everyone had told him he had a strange or bold personality… but he didn't think his character was any stronger than – say – Vivi's or Amarant's.

"I find it humorous that genomes genetically possess some of the most loyal and passionate traits in the human DNA."

He was going to ask how she knew that, but then he figured maybe he didn't want to know the answer.

"And yet, almost like a mutation to those genes, half the population of the race is monotonous and lives an entirely simple life, hardly any spontaneity or emotions at all."

"You think it's a mutation?" he questioned.

"Do you think otherwise?" she asked back.

He was quiet for a moment before he too swung his legs over the edge of the creaky dock. It moaned under their combined weight, but he was confident it wouldn't break. The blue of the water stared back up at him, though it wasn't ominous – but more so, perhaps it held a lot of wonder and thoughts.

"I think maybe it's our race evolving – like a step up, selective breeding sort of thing. Maybe we were too passionate and that made us weak, so the traits became recessive and a more steely approach to life came about to save us from making stupid mistakes."

"I would rather be stupid than be like this," she admitted to him quietly. She pushed her own blonde hair from her face and stared at him with azure eyes. They were speckled turquoise in the strange shadows. "I don't think having an opinion is killing us off."

He snorted. "It seems to be trying."

"I think that's just you."

"Excuse me?" he stared at her, aghast. Had she just made a joke at him? He grinned.

Mikoto gestured to him with a small smile of her own. "See? That! I would give anything to have that."

"I think you do – you just need to unlock it. Maybe let's not look at this like a genetic code at all –"

"But –"

"- let's just say it's environmental."

"… Okay."

"I bet the boring genomes learn it from the boring genomes they're around. And maybe for us it's a quick trait to pick up – shut up, don't give your opinion unless you're backed up by facts, and you'll survive. It seems like a pretty reliable advice to live by, right?"

"Perhaps."

"But all of us dumb ones learn differently. A free spirit, lots of laughter and joking, and standing up for what you believe, whether it's right or wrong. That's also sort of an appealing way to go about life, don't you think?"

"Of course."

"So we learn that fast too. And I think maybe genomes need to find a good balance, but they can't because no balance seems like a good idea – just the right or left wing of either situation. Maybe we need to be intermingled a little more to unlock those hidden traits in all of us."

She narrowed her eyes at him ever so slightly, doubt haunting her features. "You have ignored all genetic facts here, you know."

He shrugged, giving up on trying to explain it to her. "Maybe some things can't be learned well."

The blonde girl laughed and turned back to the water. "Perhaps."

They sat in silence for a moment, sending ripples in a multitude of directions across the top of the water. A dragonfly was disrupted from its sitting spot and took flight, buzzing between them and off to another, gentler part of the cave.

"What does it feel like to be in love?"

Zidane's eyebrows shot up and he turned to her, his arms locking so he could crane his neck to stare. But he didn't question her. He didn't feel the need to – why would she ask if she had an ulterior motive behind it? He, again, had to stress how relaxing it was sometimes to have a conversation with Mikoto.

"It feels like… it feels like a thrill. It feels like your entire life is whipping past you, and you've suddenly decided to just jump and see where you land. But it also kind of feels like dry clothing after being drenched by the rain, and protection and calmness – like shelter during a storm. Sometimes I think about Dagger and I just… I don't know, I just laugh. It's just funny – the idea is surreal and funny and the only way I can express that fondness when I think of her is by laughing. She ignites this infectious happiness that festers up in the form of a laugh, and there's nothing you can do to stop it – like a cough."

Mikoto coughed, and he wasn't sure if she was trying to make another scientific point.

"It feels like you're the only two in tune with each other, and you could keep dancing to the same song over and over without ever getting dizzy, or without ever feeling like you were going to fall. At least, that's how I feel about Dagger – mostly figurative. I just want to make her happy. Seeing her safe and smiling – that's what makes things better for me."

She didn't answer him. Despite it being her who asked the question, she stared down at the water with concentration, hardly even blinking as her knuckles curled tightly around the edge of the dock. The wood poked roughly at the side of her hand so Zidane brushed his hand against it to get her to move.

"I told Marcus I loved him in Fossil Roo – when I was going through with him."

Zidane let out the mixture of a cough and a gasp and a splutter all at one time, and it sent him into a hard fit for a moment. He wheezed as he clutched his chest, out of breath "You did?" he questioned after he could control his breathing again. "Then why did you ask me what it felt like if you were in love?"

"I just… wanted to make sure that's what I was feeling. And you and Dagger were the best example."

She continued staring at the water, but he could see the happiest of tiny smiles on her face. That seemed to be infectious too, because soon his questioning expression had turned into a grin. "Something tells me I don't need to ask if you do feel how I just described about Marcus?"

"Perhaps," she answered with that same little smirk.

And he threw his head back and laughed, feeling more refreshed than he had all morning.


A/N: There! A little bit of a shorter chapter (at least shorter than last chapter!) to recover from the beast I forced you all to read last time I updated! So, this was a big thing this chapter, but also not too terribly much happened, so I apologize if it was a little slow!

However, this is an essential confrontation that I think you all knew was going to happen eventually, so I'm glad it has finally come! The cat's out of the bag! :P

Let me know what you thought of this one, and don't worry, the next one will, if nothing else, bring some refreshing character building!

-zesty-