Filling In The Blanks
Disclaimer: I don't own FFIX or any of its characters.
Chapter 124: A Good Time for Goodbyes
It happened in a blur.
They wondered why people had looked so solemn walking onto the dinner plaza that day, but rumor had spread fast that they'd been found out, and no amount of reassurance could wipe the hasty move from the resistance. They had set about making it seem like the place hadn't been inhabited – if Madain Sari was to be searched, they didn't want Kuja and his men to know they'd been there. It would be easy to tell where they would go.
With the alert so high, the airships were rendered essentially useless. Everyone would have to travel through Fossil Roo and into the marsh for the last bit of their hiding. But it didn't matter too much; the airships had served their recruitment purposes.
Leaving Madain Sari had happened a week prior. There had been no time to stop and look around. Eiko set out painstakingly placing her and Dagger's learning scrolls with so much of the village's history on them back in their sloppy storage, abandoned once again. All of the food they had was packed, and anything that couldn't be carried with them was thrown into the river. They watched it float away with contempt; it was a waste with such limited resources.
The elite team had a lot of work cut out for them. Again, they, along Tantalus, would lead the rest of the resistance through Fossil Roo, and when two small groups were in charge of an entire army of scared people, it was hard to find time to themselves.
It was in the darkness of Fossil Roo that Dagger had finally found her first time to breathe.
They were settled in for the night, just inside the first tunnel of the underground maze. It was dank and wet; a heavy and uncharacteristic rain had set in over the horizon of desert, and she felt like she might never warm up again. Her hair hadn't fully dried since it began raining (nearly four days ago) and the inside of the tunnels was mucky, water mixing with the porous dirt.
She counted the members she was held accountable for, the numbers forming silently on her lips as she went. For the first time since being assigned a small squad to lead, all of her numbers seemed to match up, and her shoulders slumped in exhaustion.
"It's been quite the week, huh?"
She turned to see Zidane. Her body seemed to shiver and she let it slump for a moment before running towards him, her boots smacking in the mud. He wrapped her up in a tight hug, a sense of fear and urgency in his actions as well, even though he would never admit it.
She had seen the genome maybe twice since hearing the news and giving the command in Madain Sari and even those moments were too quick to get more than a few words in.
He hugged her tightly – probably tighter than he ever had.
"How are you holding up?" he whispered into her hair.
She pulled back from him, her stomach tightening into knots as she stared up into his blue eyes. "It's okay. I'm okay," she told him, uttering the words quietly. Both of them doubted the truth behind the words, but with a clock now hung over their time together, neither wanted to spend the time mulling over the technicalities of a single question.
She noticed Blank, Cinna and Ruby hovering behind him, obviously wanting to give them space, but not wanting to be too far. She understood. It was important that she remembered that she must share her time with Zidane. When they finally faced Kuja, he would be out for blood. While they were all in danger, Zidane had the biggest target on his back, and she reckoned the entire resistance knew it.
She smiled at them, as to welcome them over and hesitantly, they all came.
"Where's Marcus?" she asked, hoping to steer the conversation to a lighter topic.
"He's helping Baku with a few battle platoon plans," Cinna made a face, "he said he would catch up with us soon."
She nodded, unable – or perhaps unwilling – to listen to anything more than that. There was too much talk of battle already in this dark place.
"This place is a lot different with four inches of standing water at the bottom of it," Zidane commented, staring down at the way his boots sunk into the mud, "I wish I had taller boots like you, Rubes."
She shrugged, "A skirt certainly don't help quell the nasty temperature in here though."
So subtly Dagger was sure she imagined it, Blank moved his hand to clasp Ruby's. Neither of them flinched at the movement. She had to remind herself again that Zidane wasn't the only one in danger. Zidane wasn't the only one who they had fear of losing, though his chances of survival were much smaller.
"Hey," Cinna seemed to read all of their thoughts, "I know we're all feeling…" he glanced at their sullen faces – barely anyone had been smiling in the last week, "yeah… But we should make the best of this time we have together. I know that Sally is regulating a fire and so I started a surprise for you guys. I saved just enough ingredients to make a peanut butter pie." He shrugged, "Now I know it won't be the best pie because Sally wouldn't give me anymore chocolate, but I wanted to do something to uplift the mood and –"
Ruby was the one to let out the first sob. She rammed into Cinna with all of her strength, hugging him as tightly as she could. Cries wracked her tall frame and without missing a beat, Cinna wrapped his arms around her. Blank turned on his heel and paced a few steps away, a hand over his eyes. Dagger knew from the thin line his mouth made that if he were to move his hand away, there would be tears there.
Her own eyes became misted over, and the exhaustion of the last week finally collapsed over her. She put a hand over her mouth, hoping to stifle her jagged breath. She was tired of being the weak one to always cry. But seeing her friends around her like this… it was time to let those emotions out, so she could do away with them. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she stayed as silent as she could.
It took a few moments to gather her bravery, but she finally stole a glance at Zidane. She wasn't sure if she'd ever seen him cry – cry without anger or frustration or pain. This was just a pure, helpless sadness – an overwhelming emotion that came at its victims too quickly to dodge.
He was silent, but tears streamed down his dirty face. He stared hopelessly at his friends for a few minutes, his eyes dwelling on each of them too long, like he was trying to remember them.
And then his eyes landed on her. They stared at each other for a long moment, tears blurring their vision. She saw a second, blurred outline of Zidane as a fresh set of tears loomed over her bottom lid, before dropping down her cheeks. Her hand was still pressed firmly over her mouth, her gloves wet with soaked-in tears.
After a moment, he stepped towards her, slowly taking her hand away from her mouth to reveal her teeth biting her bottom lip, trying hard not to let her face quiver. A look of admiration fell over him then, and the change in expression made her reach out and wipe the tears away from his face, rubbing his skin gently with her thumbs.
"Hey," he started hoarsely. He took a moment to clear his throat before continuing, "I know this sucks," he shrugged. "But this is part of saving the world, right?" his words sounded brave, "Whoever… whoever comes out on the other side of this thing… they're going to experience a world that nobody has experienced for a long time. There's going to be freedom – freedom to be sad, or to be happy, or whatever they want. I'm… I'm okay with dying to give others that freedom."
There were a few thick moments of silence before Ruby sniffled, finally pulling away from Cinna, who had also been sobbing with her a few moments ago (they had grown excruciatingly close in the last few months, with the rest of Tantalus torn in different directions). She nodded at Zidane, "I'm okay with that too."
It just took a second moment for the feeling of purpose to return to them. And just like that, their lapse in a hard, outer shell was gone, the weight of the last, panicky week behind them. Even though they were walking into a dangerous battle, the outcome was well worth the fight.
"Let's get some pie," Cinna suggested, trying again for the optimistic attitude that had started this small lapse. "I think I saw Baku eying it earlier when I was preparing it. I need to make sure he's not going to eat it."
"That's probably in the best interest of all of us," Zidane offered, following after his friend. His hand was wrapped tightly around Dagger's as they walked along. Even though he managed to avert the crisis that might have been, she could tell from the pressure of his squeeze that he was still afraid, but perhaps more for the others than for himself.
"How are you?"
It was the most tender she had heard Steiner sound in a long time. She stretched, letting her hand drop from massaging her still-tender back. Beatrix needed to be brave. Everyone was frightened.
"I'll be fine," her tone was clipped, and she knew it was unfair. His face fell for just a moment, before he pulled it back into it's usually too-serious expression.
"That's… good."
She sighed, "I'm sorry."
He shrugged, still mid-step on his way to her. Her tone must have stopped him from coming the rest of the way. "It's alright. We're all stressed."
Brushing her hair from her eyes, she shook her head, "That is no excuse to be rude. I'm well… considering."
"Considering that we're about to go into another battle without being fully healed?"
She puckered her lips, "Pessimism has never suited you, Steiner."
He raised an eyebrow; she had grown so used to him without a helmet that he looked sort of odd with all of his armor back on now. "Beatrix, when have I ever been anything but pessimistic?"
A smile had to break out on her face then, and she stretched her arms out from her sides. "I guess optimism wouldn't either."
He mustered the bravery to finish his approach, swinging around behind her and placing his hands on her shoulders. He gave them a light squeeze, and instantly felt her muscles begin to relax.
"You need to rest with the time we have left."
She shook her head, "I am a leader in this army. I cannot show weakness."
"You cannot be too weak to survive when we actually fall into a battle," he chastised.
One of her hands reached up to rest on top of his. "I have to be strong."
"You have to live," he insisted.
There was quiet for a moment. She let her eyes shut and her shoulders relax under the reassuring weight of his strong hands. There was no wind – no dripping of water, and hardly a sound from her squadron or his around them. Everyone was still eerily quiet – frightened to make too much noise. This place was too small to be successful in battle.
The silence was eating away at her, the sudden shift to the chilly air harder on her still-aching body. She was gaining her strength back, but her body was tired and worn out. Her head still swam if she didn't drink enough water and her back was usually exhausted by the end of the day. Beatrix had probably had just about as many run ins with death as Zidane at this point, with no more white magic to back her reckless behavior.
Steiner was absolutely right and she knew it. And she hated it.
"Mmm…" she mumbled.
She could hear his armor creak lightly as he tilted his head at her.
"Do you remember the scent of strawberries in the spring?" she asked, knowing the question was coming out of the blue. "One of Alexandria's top exports. When the wind swept into the city from the east, the scent was so strong it overwhelmed everything in the square. Victoria would always send you on that 'secret, important' mission every spring to bring the best strawberries the farmers grew. She was obsessed, for lack of a better term."
"Dawson was allergic to strawberries. That is my most prominent memory of that time of year."
A laughter Beatrix didn't realize was there bubbled out of her. "Oh Dawson! That man had the loudest sneeze imaginable."
"He was always the loudest complainer, too," Steiner commented.
Beatrix shrugged, "I think you saw him more than I did after Dagger was born. You two were always chasing after her."
"And you got your cozy position as the Queen's protector. While Dawson picked out her dresses."
"She adored him," Beatrix nodded. "Hated the dresses but adored the man. I can almost perfectly recall Dagger's second birthday party. The girl stuffed Victoria's train into that suit of armor –"
"That hole just behind the knee, yes, I remember!" Steiner nodded, his excitement rising.
"- And Victoria made too sudden of a movement; The whole thing fell apart, tearing her dress up. He looked so aghast to find out she had pants on underneath the ball gown."
"He didn't understand that chasing a child required pants. Or so she said. I think the noble ladies almost died at that party."
Beatrix laughed, her eyes still closed. She was now leaning back on Steiner completely, holding his hand and resting her cheek on his forearm. Her laugh turned into a low, content hum. "I miss her."
"As do I," he said quietly. "Dagger is so much like her."
"Regal like Conrad, fiery like Victoria."
"Probably… Maybe."
"Maybe?"
"Regal like Cid. Hell, Regal like myself. Fiery like you."
Beatrix sighed and opened her eyes. She stared down at the ground in front of them, the light around them too dim to see much. She had wandered away from the fire of her squad just before Steiner had found her.
"I suppose that's probably what it is, right? Dagger wasn't really raised by her parents, as many similarities as we see between them."
"We'll make sure they aren't forgotten," he promised quietly. "Conrad or Victoria."
"Or Dawson," she whispered, her voice sounding passionate and sure even though it was laced with a heavy sadness, "or anyone like him."
"I promise," he said out loud this time.
And both of them sat quietly, staring at the dark in front of them, remembering the past for the sake of the future.
"I could use a cigarette."
Freya's eyebrows furrowed. She had hardly ever heard the phrase – especially not since the war had started. "What?"
"A cigarette. You ever seen one of those? Like the unhealthy shit royals put in their pipes, except… cheaper."
"I know what a cigarette is," she said flatly, "I just do not know why you would crave such a silly thing."
"Relaxing," he said, taking in a breath.
They sat around their own fire, Freya on the other side of it, cleaning her spear with a small pile of others' weapons next to her. Amarant wished he was helping her. Unfortunately, his lap, crazily enough, was the bed of a certain (annoying) child. As if on cue, Eiko snuggled further into the arm she was clasping. He nearly groaned.
"Do you know what relaxing is?" he asked her.
She rolled her eyes, letting the sharpening stone follow along the metal of her spear with a satisfying scrape. "I do. It certainly is not inhaling a foul smelling plant."
He made a face. "To each his own, I guess." Silence. "Are you worried about moving again?"
"What do you mean? It is a necessity."
"Well," he shrugged, deciding to be blunt even though the statement was going to come out with an asshole tone, he already knew. "We've moved twice since Fratley stayed behind in Cleyra. Aren't you afraid he won't find you?'
She was quiet. He knew he had touched on a bad subject – nobody was really allowed to talk to Freya about Fratley. But he always liked to push her buttons; it kept things interesting.
"I suppose." Her answer was short, so he didn't expect her to elaborate further. "But if Fratley ends up in Cleyra during the final battle, that will mean he is safe, I suppose."
"There isn't one part of you that's disappointed about that?" he scoffed, "Even I knew about Fratley's reputation on Kuja's guard. One of the best knights Gaia had ever seen, noble as ever… And not showing up to the last fight of the cause? I think it's kind of cowardice."
Her face flashed in anger. "How dare you say such a thing," she managed to keep her voice low enough to not wake Eiko.
"He shouldn't have left you," he stated. "Not many people in the world have someone to love left. He shouldn't have left. That's just stupid."
She was unable to show her anger. Was she annoyed at Amarant, sure… but… having someone finally validate what she'd been feeling since Fratley told her he wouldn't be continuing the journey with them. Something about it shocked her – something about it enlightened her.
Instead of answering, she went back to sharpening her weapon.
Amarant stared at her through the thick flames of the fire. He couldn't read the expression on her face clearly, so he busied himself by staring down at the sleeping girl on his lap. Vivi had been sitting with them before, but when she fell asleep he politely excused himself, hoping to get some time with Zidane.
Eiko's face wore no expression as she slept. She didn't look obnoxiously happy like she usually did, but there was no trace of sadness there either. He could feel her breath on his arm, and that's maybe what he preferred. He watched her live but saw no repercussions of what was happening in the present.
Christ, he was going soft.
"I'm sorry," he blurted before he could fully gather what he was saying. "I overstepped a boundary. I'm not really sure what that boundary is, but I know I did."
Freya didn't answer, but she did sigh in response. He had to stop from rolling his eyes, reminding himself that he had just offended her and sometimes apologies didn't work very fast.
It was a long stretch of silence before she spoke again, "You are right, no matter how rude your comment was. He should not have left."
"I'm sorry," he said again, truly wishing there was something else he could do for her. She was a strong woman – interesting and intelligent. He could almost say he needed to watch himself around her – the spark around her entire being was alluring enough. But no matter how much of a scumbag he was, he wouldn't intrude on someone else's relationship, and Freya still wore the ring Fratley had gifted her on her finger. That was enough for him. There was already enough drama in the life of a resistance member; he didn't care for any more.
There was a sort of awkward pause in conversation after that, but he assumed it was just because of the direction his thoughts had headed. He looked back down at Eiko, trying to focus on something else.
"You guys are having quite the pity party over here, it looks like."
They both glanced up to see Baku in front of them, his arms crossed. His eyes looked crazily tired. As fate would have it, in the hectic assigning of teams, Baku was stuck with all women who would not be fighting in the final battle. They were vital to the resistance's supplies, but worthless in the line of fire – most of them being over fifty. His hard ass attitude didn't really mesh well with the frightened gossip of old ladies, and their constant pestering was driving him insane. He didn't look well and sounded a little grumpier than usual.
"Perhaps," Freya said, her voice sounding a little more relaxed. "Glad you could join it."
"Except I think I have quite the fucking situation to throw a party for," he grumbled, plopping down on the last piece of rickety wood they'd found to make seating around the fire, out of the mud. "You definitely don't. Not right now."
Amarant rolled his eyes. Baku was so dramatic.
"I had to hide," he continued. "Fucking hide from the group of eighty-year-old women I was assigned to because they wouldn't leave me the fuck alone."
"You should be there for them. They are probably frightened."
"The questions are more obnoxious than important at this point. To do with carrying all of their supplies and all of the fucking mud and rain and," he deflated, "ugh."
"You sound like a teenager with all of these comments, Baku," Freya told him matter-of-factly. Good. Amarant was glad someone else had said it and not him.
"I ain't still alive because I had a woman pestering me all my life, that's for sure," he leaned back and crossed his burly arms over his big belly.
"Women. Children. Never do any of it, Red. The Tantalus team taught me how shitty kids are and every woman that's ever nagged me has shown me how shitty a marriage could be." The man shrugged and adjusted his goggles. It was too dark to wear them and the large piece of eyewear sat awkwardly on his forehead.
The redhead scoffed. "Who the hell would marry you?"
He shrugged, not even taking offense to the question. "You raise a good question."
"What about Adrianna?" Freya asked, her tone mischievous. Amarant had to admit, it was a good distraction from their current, or impending, predicament.
Baku seemed to splutter before he rubbed at his beard uncomfortably. "Adrianna is far too intelligent of a damn woman to marry someone like me. And I'm too wild of a man to want to marry someone like her."
"You made quite the team," she commented, going back to sharpening her pile of weapons.
He slowed the itching of his mustache and rubbed it thoughtfully then. "Fuck… We sure did."
Eiko suddenly sat up, her hair on the side of her head that was cuddled up in Amarant's lap was knotted and stuck out in strange directions. Her eyes were sleepy but held the sharp glint of annoyance.
"You guys are so rude. You couldn't see that I was trying to get some sleep?" She slid off the log, mumbling to herself as she rubbed her side. That log was uncomfortable. "And you say us kids are the bratty ones…"
Baku's eyes were wide and his hand had stopped mid-motion, "When the hell did she get there?"
"Hopeless," Amarant heard Freya mumble, instead of giving him a real answer. "Hopeless," she said again.
Zidane realized pretty early on that Vivi was hoping for one last, big pep-talk before they went on to fight their final battle. He was a little quieter than usual and the genome had caught him staring with a worried look more than once. So when it was time for the blonde to move to his post for guard duty (to make the resistance feel better more so than to warn about trouble), he gestured for Vivi to follow him.
"Do you want to tag team this shift?" he asked, his eyes bright and ever-caring.
Vivi nodded at him and mirrored his movement to turn towards the darkness of the oncoming tunnels as they walked slowly to their post. "Thanks for asking," he said, though his voice was quiet. "I'm glad we'll get to sit with each other for a while."
The blonde smiled and crossed his arms behind his head, "So what's on your mind, Vivi? You usually only worry so much about one-on-one time when you're thinking about something."
The black mage clutched his hat, maybe a little embarrassed. He peaked his eyes around his arm to catch a glimpse of Zidane's expression; the open smile did make him feel a little better about being read so easily.
"How are you?" Vivi asked, and that genuine expression turned to one of genuine confusion; Zidane didn't think that was the direction his friend would bring the conversation.
"How am I?" he scratched his cheek in thought. "Well… I guess I'm okay."
"You aren't scared?" Vivi asked, his voice just above a whisper.
Zidane felt like the conversation was serious enough to stop, and they were only a few yards away from where their post was supposed to be anyways. He stared down at the mage, who seemed a little lost but stood his ground for an answer.
"I'm terrified," Zidane admitted quietly, squatting down to be on Vivi's level. "Absolutely terrified."
This seemed to come as a shock to his young friend. "But you always seem so okay…"
The blonde bit the inside of his cheek, lacing his hands together in front of him to help keep his balance. He rubbed his eyebrows and flicked the hair from his eyes. "To tell you the truth, I think I just got to this point where I felt like it was out of my hands," he shrugged. "Don't get me wrong, I am going to do my damnedest to stay alive, but… whatever is going to happen is going to happen. Who knows – I could stay away from the front lines completely and still end up… dying…" he felt nervous saying the word out loud. "And I also know that it's not just me that might die. So I need to cherish the time I have left." He let on a smile then, hoping it would be a little encouraging for his friend.
Vivi shook his head. "I wish I was as positive as you, Zidane."
He let out a laugh, "You know, I get that a lot, Vivi. Sometimes it's not always a good thing."
"I'm scared too. I'm scared that we won't win, because what happens to the people afterwards? And I'm scared that I won't do enough to save people's lives."
"Why do you think that? That's ridiculous!"
"I'm supposed to be a dreamer too, right?" he sighed, staring at the ground as he fiddled with the worn edges of his hat. "But you've proven time and time again how strong you can be. I feel like I need to keep training for years before I'm as good as you!"
He put a hand on Vivi's shoulder, not caring now that his knee was in the mud. He wiggled his toes as an afterthought, not remembering the last time his feet didn't feel wet.
"Vivi, I can't bestow the confidence in you that you should have. But I can tell you that you've impressed me – all of us – time and time again. You're crazy not to see it, but you have to remember that we're two completely different people. You're a mage – your meant to stand a little further back and attack from afar, and… let's face it, you don't make stupid decisions like I do. Just because I'm maybe bolder than you, does not make me better. Like your grandpa told you in his letter… have confidence and live. Because you can do great things."
Vivi let out a sigh and shook his head. "Th-thanks, Zidane. You always know just what to say."
The thief let on a patient smile. "Don't worry about a thing. You just keep doing what you're doing and everything will be okay. Okay?"
Vivi stared at him for a few moments. Zidane's whole face had an air of warmth and positivity to it, but his eyes seemed to shine a little duller. The mage wasn't sure if his friend believed his own words, but for the sake of strength and morale, he turned away and chose to ignore it.
"I think you should try to heed your own words too, Zidane," he said after a second thought, deciding to try the positivity that he was always radiating. Vivi smiled up at him, and though Zidane couldn't see the smile, he could tell it was there from the slight squint of his bright, yellow eyes. A gratefulness washed over him; he was glad that Vivi recognized what he did and was giving him the same encouragement.
"I want to stand at the same corner of Alexandria with you where we met when this is all over," Vivi said suddenly, turning away from the genome. "I want to stand outside of that café, even if it's not there, or even if it's not a café… When everything is rebuilt, I want to meet you again there, in real life."
Zidane let out a laugh, realizing how strange that sounded, but really enjoying the idea. "Maybe not after you get your gil stolen though, okay?"
Vivi chuckled himself. "I like that idea."
"Me too, Vivi. Me too." They sat in silence for a while after that, besides small conversation about their evening with their friends, and a little bit of poked fun at Vivi about his growing affection for Eiko. But it was nice to sit there with him, with the one that all of this started with, really. Only each other would ever know how it was coming back into this world after five years of being trapped in a dream, and so there was a certain amount of understanding that could only take place between the two of them.
Sometimes, it was good to step away from those that didn't understand.
The next day didn't prove to be any easier. Zidane felt more at ease, feeling like even if they were in a constant rush until their final battle, he at least got a little bit of time in with his friends – his family. However, according to a scout who had been nominated to check the status (since they weren't too far in the tunnels yet), it still hadn't stopped raining.
As they plunged into the deeper tunnels, that became more of an issue. Long ago mud had filled up and around his boots, and ultimately, slipped inside. It was hard to get some of their supplies through all of the muck, and Blank accidentally walked into what would have been a small pothole, mud reaching just above his knees.
The blonde had fallen in line behind Amarant's group. Eiko, being too small to shift through the rising mud, rode on his shoulders. She seemed to enjoy the height and annoying the redhead to no end. She would steal shy glances back at Zidane and give him little waves as the day went on. But even Eiko grew tired as time dragged forward; even though they were certain it was day, it was hard to tell what time it was and that made the tunnels seem never ending.
He was trying not to touch his face as they slipped up and down divots in the tunnels. He knew that once he started to brush back his hair, in a matter of minutes his face would be caked with mud, and there wouldn't be any relief until Qu's Marsh. And even then, relief could be limited if it was raining on the other side.
Knowing that his group would be just fine behind Amarant's, Zidane wandered away from his position, hoping to find someone to talk to. He knew if he ran into Steiner he'd be in trouble, but anyone else and he'd probably be okay.
It turned out, many others in the narrow trail had abandoned their post as well. Tantalus had somehow found most of each other and were walking in a small clump, trying to make the time go faster. Many resistance members had swapped in and out of the clumsy groups that were made in a haste to leave Madain Sari. The genome found himself recognizing the people from Blank's group and made a point to stop and wait until he found his friend.
Blank nearly walked past without Zidane recognizing him. He yelped when he realized that fact and stumbled to fall in step next to him. "You don't even look like yourself."
The sour look on his friend's face grew even worse as he pressed his lips together and stared straight ahead. "Today has been rough."
His hair was a dark brown color, and all of his clothes were caked in mud. After a little more prodding, Blank had blown up at him that he'd fallen in the mud trying to get some supplies out for another resistance member and insisted this was the exact reason why he never wanted to do nice things.
Also, it didn't help that Ruby had watched the whole thing and, point blank, laughed in his face. Zidane did note the stupid grin on her face when he slipped behind the small group of his Tantalus friends.
"I'm not entirely sure what else I can say that won't piss you off more," Zidane snickered, not seeming at all worried about making his friend angry.
Blank rolled his eyes. His clenched jaw told the genome that he was trying to stay calm and that made him laugh more. The redhead had such a short fuse; his patience never lasted long. "Don't you have a group to be leading or something?"
Zidane shrugged, "They're all following behind Amarant and Eiko. I figured I'd be okay."
"Maybe we'll see Steiner and I can rat you out," he mumbled, his voice gruff.
"Hey now, that's just cruel," Zidane slung an arm around him, no longer worrying about the mud. He couldn't let Blank be the only messy one.
The redheaded thief mumbled something undistinguishable in response. Zidane's grin widened.
"You're in an awfully chipper mood, considering…" he trailed, unsure if he wanted to finish his snarky remark because of the reality behind the statement.
The blonde shrugged, "I don't want this time to be bad," he said earnestly. "I don't want to feel miserable down to the last moments before we go into that battle."
Blank nodded in understanding and his friend wondered if he would say anything else on the subject. "Well I'm going to be miserable until the last moment if it doesn't stop fucking raining soon."
Zidane let out a laugh, appreciative that Blank, in his own way, could make a joke to help smooth out the mood. "Does it ever get sunny in the marshes? Maybe we can hope for a stroke of luck."
The redhead raised an eyebrow at his friend, though it was hard to see through all of the mud. "Yeah… Pretty unlikely."
"Always a big ball of sunshine, huh, Blank? Maybe you could dry us all off."
He made a face in response, but then they didn't speak for a few minutes. Their pace slowed, and others passed them, some hushed and quick and others exhausted and silent.
"You know… there's going to be a time soon that we won't have to walk around in tunnels anymore," Blank said, his thoughts surfacing. "We'll stand on the deck of an airship as it flies and feel warm air on our faces. And then I'll never go underground again."
The blonde smiled widely, admiring the way that Blank was pushing past the oncoming battle and thinking about a future that was so close within their reach. "I think I'll get a house underground. Never see sunlight; this dampness is kind of refreshing, don't you think?"
Blank didn't even find a way to laugh at his joke. "None of your friends will come visit you," he only got a laugh in response before his scowl widened into a smirk. "Besides, you'll be living in a castle with your girlfriend. You spoiled brat."
It took a lot to embarrass Zidane, but something about this statement had his face blooming in all shades of red. He hadn't very seriously thought about what his life might be like – where he would be and what exactly he would be doing – when there was peace. It had never seemed closer in that moment, but never further away, either.
"Well what about you? Where will you be?"
Blank shrugged. "Maybe I'll go back to Lindblum," he scratched the back of his neck, suddenly seeming embarrassed and unsure, "maybe there's record of my parents somewhere. Maybe I can learn a bit more about them."
Zidane nodded, "I think that would be a great idea."
"And then," he shrugged, "I think I'd like to be in Alexandria."
This surprised Zidane, though he wasn't really sure why. He voiced this, but Blank took a few moments to think about it before he responded.
"That's where mostly everyone on the team will be. Don't you think it'll be weird? After the war is over, everyone will go their separate ways. We've been living with them for years. That, or go where Tantalus will go," he shrugged.
"You mean Ruby?" Zidane snickered.
Blank's contemplative mood dropped then, and his eyes lilted half shut in annoyance once more. "Yeah," he still answered though, "I guess."
The blonde smiled brightly, feeling very okay with this answer. "Good. I'm glad that's what you want."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
The one positive of the Fossil Roo the second time around was the fact that they already had a vague idea of where they were going. Able to recall more memory than Quina's elusive instructions, the journey through the tunnels took a significantly less amount of time.
Although, most of that time was eaten back up by the fact there was so much mud to tread through.
It became less about fear driving them through, and more about who could make it in the waist-deep mud. The more strong and able bodies spent a good amount of time wading back and forth, helping to carry the older women and smaller, petite rebels along the mud. Zidane did find one plus side in this, which was carrying Dagger with as much pride as a mud-smeared face could muster, across a pit of mud that sat just below his ribs. His legs felt sluggish, and his right one seared with exhaustion. But it felt excellent to be pushing, to feel like he was helping. They didn't talk acknowledge it, but Dagger cast a couple of regen and cure spells on Zidane after all of the crossing through that particularly hard (worst) part of the mud pits had finished.
When the tunnels began inclining slightly, and the deep layers of mud churned below them less and less, a little more positivity sprung into their step. When wooden rails began popping up, no matter how rotted they were, the taste of fresh air was already on the genomes tongue. This was his first time through Fossil Roo, and he asked a lot of questions about the architecture. Baku told him, through a thick veil of cuss words, that rails and wooden planks had been put down for the miners that once worked in the tunnels. They were there long before war had dusted Fossil Roo onto the edge of a myth.
They were close enough to the end of the tunnel that if you listened carefully, you could hear the howl of the night wind. However, most of them were too exhausted to exert that final push to the end of the tunnel without some rest, so one more night inside awaited them.
Zidane sat on some uneven stairs, massaging his leg with his gloves off, simultaneously trying to rub all of the dried mud off of his face. Sitting on a low perch, he was able to spot a few familiar faces gravitating towards him. He had a fearful thought for just a moment that perhaps when they walked out of these tunnels, they would walk immediately into the battle instead of hiding out for a few days in Qu's Marsh and crossing the lands back to Alexandria. But he tried to push that way of thinking to the side, grateful that if that was the case, at least he would have this moment with those moving towards him.
Beatrix was the first to meet him. She smiled at him. It was more of a thin line across her face instead of a serious scowl, but he would take it. Her chestnut eyes met his cerulean ones for just a moment.
"Before everyone else comes over, I wanted to thank you."
He tilted his head, leaning back on his hands. His skin felt oddly good against the solidity of the rickety wood beneath him. "Thank me? For what?"
She smiled at him. It was rare to see such a genuine, tender smile from Beatrix. He leaned forward slightly in anticipation. "I do whole-heartedly believe you bought life back to our people again. There isn't a whole lot of a point to winning if no one is happy. You are the power we are going to need to win this war."
"I don't think you should bank entirely on my power," he warned, feeling his nerves tingle.
She shook her head. "While I do believe you are a powerful asset to the team I don't mean that quite so literally." Her foot pivoted slightly, and she stuck her hip out, placing her hand on it in a strangely superior pose. "You've given so many the realization that there is still innocence in life to be had in this world. You have been a great teacher and a very loyal friend. You reunited Tantalus in a way that I'd never seen, and those boys – those boys. They came back to life when everyone was together again – even Baku. You have lightened Dagger's world and introduced us to many, many new allies and friends. All of your decisions, right or wrong, have been part of a domino effect that has brought everyone closer together.
"And it all started when you decided to trust a group of strangers and jump on a raft that left your home."
He rubbed his eyes, letting his fingers slowly slide down his face. He didn't think he would be getting quite the thank you from Beatrix, out of anyone. "Wow… I didn't think you thought so highly of me."
"I am very protective of my family. I promised the Queen that I would help protect her daughter with my life as I once guarded her. I have to be hard on you because I must look out for Dagger first. But it doesn't make me like you any less."
He grinned at her, and she moved towards him, bending down and placing a gloved hand on his shoulder. One of her curls fell over her shoulder and the ends tickled his nose. "If you tell anyone this, I'll deny it. But thank you, Zidane. You and Vivi have changed the lives of so many. And I truly believe that no matter what happens in the final battle, the asset you've given to us will truly make me feel that we did our damnedest to win back our homeland."
Before he could make any sort of a smart remark, Dagger reached them. Her large, chocolate eyes probed their serious stance for an answer before she greeted them with a chipper hello. Beatrix gave her a tender smile – the one usually only reserved for her and Steiner – and backed off. She delved quickly into their plans for the following morning, and it seemed as though the conversation she had just had with Zidane was forgotten.
"She is rather terrifying, do you agree?"
The genome glanced to his side, not realizing that Freya had joined him. Amarant was following close behind but wore the usual expression that said he wasn't in the mood for chatter.
"She definitely can be."
And that's all that was said about it. Soon they would be out of Fossil Roo anyways, and no amount of thank yous or goodbyes would do anything for any of them.
But the feeling that he had made a difference while it counted propelled him forward – knowing that he'd given it everything he physically had.
A/N: I can't believe I had most of this written and then just never finished! My apologies on the wait guys!
I'm actually studying in England right now, specifically at the Alnwick Castle (Harry Potter castle woohoo!). So weirdly enough, I'll be too busy to promise updates, but also might have more time to write, like right now for instance? Hard to say.
Fossil Roo did nothing to help me past my writer's block, so that's why we're dodging out of there a lot faster than I had originally planned. Hope you don't mind. Even though this chapter was a lot of dialogue, I felt like it finally gave us some good bonding time – I think it fit well with the name of the chapter.
Anyhow, you guys tell me how you like it! Thanks for sticking with me!
-zesty-
