Filling In The Blanks
Disclaimer: I don't own FFIX or any of its characters.
Chapter 132: A Knight or a Thief
When he heard the door creak open in the darkness, he wanted to lift his head, but the moment he moved, everything began to swim.
Nausea rolled in waves in his stomach and he turned his head to the side, clamping his teeth down on his tongue to stop from throwing up.
Eyelids fluttered open, only to reveal darkness. He let one leg slip off of the couch, his foot clomping to the floor, hoping to give himself some steadiness.
And then the lights flickered on.
He groaned and whipped his head to the side again, only this time, he gagged on what was creeping up from his stomach.
"Blank?"
One more head roll to the side. In his spinning vision, he saw Vivi there in the doorway, eyes wide with alarm and worry.
"Vivi," he slurred out, trying again to sit up. But this time, that nausea did present himself and he doubled over, vomiting on the floor.
A heavy sigh came from the other side of the room.
Vivi couldn't exactly say he was surprised. This was a pretty typical Friday evening. He walked forward, casting a small water spell on the mess on the floor; he rolled his hand so his palm was up and the dirty water roiled up from the floor. Then with a quick flick of his wrist, it all froze in place, the mess off of the wood and frozen in the air.
With that out of the way for the moment, he took Blanks hand and cast a small blizzard spell, plunking a couple of ice cubes in his glove. "Eat those."
The redhead did what he was told without a word.
With the utmost patience and control, Vivi lead the mass of ice into the street and let it fall into the gutter, breaking into pieces. One more water spell sent it in an unnatural stream down the street, washing it away.
When the mage returned to the living room, his pity for the redhead sitting in front of him turned to sure sadness. He peeked his head around the corner to see Blank, trying to hide his sobbing on the couch.
And even though Vivi knew exactly why, he thought he would ask anyway. It was better to get it all out than to keep it bottled in. He was usually less angry the next day that way.
"What's wrong?" he asked tentatively, never knowing what kind of mood Blank was going to be in when he was drunk.
But the redhead looked up, the most pitiful expression on his face. Tears streamed down his flushed cheeks. "I'm so sorry, Vivi."
That one was new.
"Sorry? Sorry for what?"
"This," he gestured limply in front of him, hiccupping. "My barging in. Every week. Week after week. Month after month. Year after year."
Vivi tsked. "You live here too, you know."
When Blank struggled with how to throw blame around next, Vivi reflected on those words. While the redhead spent most of his time at the barracks, he was usually there a couple nights a week when he needed a little more space than the knight chambers provided.
This arrangement had been going on ever since the rebuild of Alexandria was complete. Vivi was fixed up with a rather nice home. It was cozy and friendly and not too big, but lavish. He was one of the dreamers, after all. And not just a dreamer, but the dreamer heroes. He refused as much as he could, but people still showered him with gifts. The construction of his home was no exception.
But he was lonely. He'd never lived by himself before, but the others seemed so delighted to have a sense of order back that he didn't want to say anything – didn't want to burden anyone.
When Blank came back from his failed mission, he was lost. He had no direction. He tried to go back to Lindblum for a little while, but that had been no good. He was tight lipped about it, and they had only learned from others later what happened when he fled the other kingdom.
He spent a lot of time in the bar, quiet and withdrawn. He wouldn't speak with Dagger, Beatrix or Steiner, and when Freya had come to Alexandria he wouldn't speak to her either. However, one night, stumbling along the street, unsure where to go, he ran into Vivi.
Vivi had been on his way home from a memorial service – something held every few months in the city to remind people to stay united, especially as the world continued to rebuild. The moment the thief had seen the black mage, something in him finally cracked. Tears welled up in his eyes and he fell to his knees in front of the younger dreamer, begging for forgiveness in failing to find Zidane.
That was the first night Blank had stayed with Vivi, and despite the dire situation, the house seemed to fill with meaning and life. The next morning, without outright asking him to move into the larger-than-necessary home, he invited the redhead to stay.
Five years in the resistance and everyone was always looking out for Vivi. Very rarely was he able to give back, being so much less experienced, clumsier and more afraid than everyone else. But this time, someone needed him, and he was going to be there.
It was time for Vivi to take care of Blank.
And he did that role diligently. He helped Blank find guidance and purpose again. Although he would hardly speak to anyone sober, he did develop a soft spot for small talk with the mage. He listened to Vivi's prompts to enlist in the Pluto Knights after a small discussion with Steiner and found comfort in the mage. They talked about many lonely things – sometimes Zidane, sometimes other things – when Blank had been drinking, because it was too painful and perhaps too embarrassing when he was sober.
He pulled him out from the outlandish nightmare of darkness that his life had become. And though it was clear that Blank was still hurting, and perhaps would never come out of it again, there was an unspoken comfort the two took in each other, and he accepted the help without ever giving thanks – and Vivi gave it without expecting anything in return. But he was glad to do it, if not to finally be substantially helpful, if not for his friend, then for Zidane.
But Fridays were the hardest.
Every Friday, Queen Garnet lead a walk of silence across the city. Anyone who wished to join could, but she requested that if others didn't want to walk and simply wanted to watch or perhaps not participate at all, that they respect those who wanted or needed to.
They would walk from the castle to the memorial stone – a jagged piece of polished granite – that had every name of everyone lost in the war on it. And on top of this large piece of polished granite was a statue of the man who killed the dark lord. A statue of Zidane.
There, Queen Garnet would stand in front of the memorial with her head bowed, one rose in her hands. Sometimes it was for a long time, and sometimes it was very brief. No matter the weather, in the pouring rain or in the sticky heat, she would go. Once a week, every week, since the end of the war. After she was finished, she would place the rose on the base of the granite stone – at the feet of the statue – on top of other partially withered or dried up roses that were there from previous visits. And then she would walk back to the castle without a word, Steiner by her side the entire time. People would break off from the silent parade when their path home took a new direction, and by the time she stepped into the castle, only a few were ever left.
Every Friday, Vivi wouldn't leave her side until they were inside the castle gates. She wore a horribly broken expression, but she would never cry. Vivi hadn't seen Dagger cry in all of her time as queen. Then she would hug him, give him a soft thank you, and they would go their separate ways.
And every Friday, Blank got a hand-written invitation from the queen, requesting his presence on these memorial walks, or maybe to meet her at the stone. Every week, Vivi searched for the redhead and never found him. And every week he would come home from the walk and Blank would already be on his couch, angry, upset, or a mix of both, having spent the time hiding away from the world, and maybe from those who cared for him most, instead.
Vivi had never asked why he didn't attend, especially when Dagger begged to see him so often, because he knew just from the look on his face whenever Vivi stepped in the door on Friday evenings, that each week it broke him all over again.
"Do you want some coffee?" Vivi asked suddenly, finally shaking himself out of his thoughts.
"Coffee?" he asked, his eyes unfocused. "You're not old enough to drink coffee."
Vivi gripped his hat, "Technically, I'm seventeen." But he didn't say anything else as he went to the kitchen and started the brew, lighting the fire underneath with his fingers.
The mage had spent a few weeks at a time at the Black Mage Village on the Outer Continent. With Kuja gone, the mages didn't feel like they had to stay in hiding, as their race didn't have to worry about being subjected to experimenting from the evil man. He learned novels worth of information from his elders about his powers, history and race itself.
Kuja's black mage clones lived twenty years give or take, but the black mage race had double the life span of humans. It was common for them to live until they were one hundred-eighty to maybe even two-hundred years old! While that was a fascinating fact for Vivi, it was also terrifying. He would still be in this world when all who he knew were gone. But there were worse things.
"Twenty?"
Vivi looked to his side, remembering he had a companion on this trip to the Black Mage Village.
They were sitting on top of the hill in the cemetery. For humans, graveyards were spooky and sad, but to the black mage race, they were beautiful, sacred and peaceful. Tranquility came from the feeling of being close to loved ones – to their hearts and their wisdom during the long years of life.
Next to Vivi were Odin and Bobby Corwin. As sure as Vivi was that the black mages (who had finally become aware or left the village to join them in the resistance) would return to the forest, they hadn't. In fact, more had left the village to share their knowledge and explore the world. But everyone who left was very good at sending letters, and the mages of the village had become very close to the moogle who delivered the mail to the forest.
Daguerro and Ipsen's Place were the most popular retreats for the mages, but every once in a while, Vivi would be invited to host a mage or two in Alexandria. Odin and Bobby Corwin stayed with the qus for a little while, but as the chocobo continued to get older, they decided to go back to Lindblum where their world moved a little faster in adventure.
"Yes my child, twenty years," one of the elders spoke slowly, giving them a history lesson in the soft breeze.
Odin bit his lip and looked down. "I was about eight when I became aware." He clenched his hands together, suddenly feeling the way his body worked as he moved it, "That means I'm already thirteen. Half of my life is already over."
A sudden pang ran through Vivi.
"But look at all you've done, my child," the elder spoke stronger this time, bending down and placing a hand on his shoulder. Odin looked up, his yellow eyes fretful. "You have lived a thousand lifetimes in one – you have become aware far before others, and even then, there have only been a couple dozen of you who became aware in the first place."
"But…"
"I know it's sad. Time is a strange and unusually cruel concept that seems to only exist within our minds, but affects our bodies. But do not weep for the time you have left – rejoice. Do what needs to be done. And…" he moved to place a hand on Bobby Corwin's beak, who closed his eyes pleasantly under the delicate touch, "you have a partner to do so with."
Both younger mages glanced over at Bobby Corwin, who had a much shorter lifespan than an average human, and yet was happy in the moment, always looking forward to what adventure lie directly ahead of him.
Odin sighed and then gave a smile, though his eyes still held a little worry. "You're right. As long as Bobby Corwin is with me, I won't waste any time."
That was two years ago. Vivi had written many letters to and from Odin and he had been everywhere. If the mage remembered correctly, the moogle Stiltzkin had taken him to see Mognet Central and that's where they were currently staying. Odin had always loved the moogles.
Despite the grouching that came from the other room, Blank eventually made an appearance in the kitchen, a blanket wrapped tightly around him like a hooded cloak. He looked a little less queasy and seemed to be more coherent since Vivi had come home. The mage knew that the redhead couldn't resist the strong smell of coffee.
"How was… tonight?" he cleared his throat a little awkwardly, laying his arms on the counter as Vivi moved to get mugs.
He nodded slowly, though wasn't sure what to say. Blank had never shown curiosity in this event before. "Dagger stayed a long while at the statue tonight."
Suddenly, the redhead let out a scoff, straightening up in his seat and turning his head away offendedly. Vivi didn't have to ask for him to continue. "Statue. How obnoxious. Zidane would never have let anyone build a statue of him. It doesn't even feel like his."
The mage dared a glance at the redhead, seeing angry eyes and a quivering bottom lip. "He wouldn't want any glory. And why is it so celebrated anyway? Yeah, Kuja is gone. But so is Zidane. Not that anyone actually cares. They didn't know him. They just go along with it because their queen made an event out of it."
"That's enough, Blank," Vivi hated the way he sounded so spiteful towards Dagger. Blank had it all wrong. The long walks she took to the memorial started solo (aside from Steiner). People joined in without an invitation, but she had learned to embrace that it didn't have to be a private event for her.
Tears rolled freely down his face now. He knew how watery he always seemed around Vivi, but he couldn't help it. For some reason, the kid was the only one he could let it out around. He couldn't stop himself from being uncontrollably angry and silent around everyone else. But Vivi didn't seem to mind.
"He just… doesn't need that kind of thing, you know?" he sniffed, even though he tried to play it off like he was clearing his throat. "He just needs to be found."
The mage halted in his busy work for a moment as he remembered what it was like being on that final mission with the others. When the final place had been searched, it wasn't just "we didn't find him, that's the end".
No.
After the first year, they spent nearly another half a year retracing their steps. They revisited places they'd been along their journey with the resistance, and even places they hadn't. They didn't just search the places they tried to map out immediately after the defeat of Kuja. They scoured cities, thinking maybe he was wandering about, not knowing who he was.
When Rama finally suggested that they call an end to their first round of searching, Blank and Marcus didn't return to the airship for three days. When they came back, they were defeated, eyes puffy and mourning with shoulders sagged. They were silent on the way back, even though everyone else insisted they would go again.
And more groups did venture out. Just never as big and never as long.
Vivi spent an extra week on the Outer Continent, traveling atop Bobby Corwin with Odin (they were both still small enough, especially as the chocobo continued to grow), searching for not just Zidane, but any trace of him. Vivi stayed in Madain Sari and traced the walls on the inside of the healing cove, the mat the genome fought for his life on laid out still, among others, with incense and jars of herbs for any traveler or moogle who might need medical assistance.
The one time Dagger had left Alexandria on unofficial affairs had been a delicately planned journey to the elemental shrines with Eiko to complete the pilgrimage that would make them, by traditional standards, high summoners. While none of their guardians allowed them to stray too far, every single one of them would be lying if their eyes weren't peeled at these mostly abandoned places, searching for Zidane. Eiko told Vivi some time later that they spent a few nights in Madain Sari, and to the sacred Summoner's Wall, Dagger prayed to the eidolons. But that's as much detail as he had received.
As new branches of Tantalus began to rebuild, they would use these missions to train, hoping to find clues. It was always clues now. People always searched for a trace – not for the real Zidane anymore. People lost hope.
Vivi wasn't sure what he believed anymore.
What finally broke him from his long string of thoughts was Blank's visible swaying on the stool. Despite having his arms splayed over the wooden counter top, he wobbled back and forth. The motion caught the mage's attention, and he firmly plopped the mug of coffee in front of the redhead.
"Drink up. It's probably an okay temperature now."
He received a mumbled thank you as he retrieved his own mug, staring into the liquid. When did life become so much thought and so less action?
"Do you think Dagger hates me?"
The question was sudden. Vivi glanced up, seeing that Blank had been mirroring his actions and staring into his cup. The swaying had momentarily ceased and the mage swore the thief-turned-knight's eyes sharpened with coherency.
"No, I don't," he affirmed.
"I haven't spoken to her in so long."
"I don't think you're right to push everyone else away, but nobody blames you."
He squinted into his coffee before taking another sip. "I wish things were different."
Vivi didn't reply. Instead he crossed the kitchen and took a seat at the small dining table. Blank said those exact words often. Vivi learned to stop responding, because whenever he was prompted further, the redhead would voice quietly how he wished the war never ended, because it meant losing Zidane. It meant losing a part of his identity – not just his best friend. Without Zidane, Blank couldn't look his friends – his family in the eyes. He couldn't fight for a cause anymore, and he couldn't return to Lindblum.
Maybe he faired better in the war, but it hurt to know he wished away all of their hard work in securing freedom. But it hurt the most because that freedom was exactly what Zidane fought for. That's what he sacrificed whatever future was waiting for him for.
And Blank was wasting it.
But Vivi felt improvements, and that's all that mattered. He would be sort of okay someday. That's all that anyone hoped for.
The moon was high in the sky, breaking through the thin clouds with enough light to illuminate the square.
He rolled his head to each shoulder, loosening his limbs.
A few hours of sleep chased away his drunken state, and though his head pounded with vengeance, he could think coherently again. He was embarrassed by his behavior with Vivi, but the mage usually pretended it never happened the next day, which Blank appreciated. Vivi had grown into a trust-worthy, mature teenager, with humble and intelligent opinions and non-judgmental ways of life.
That evening's conversation sparked an itch in Blank that he had not gotten in a very long time, and that's how he found himself on the other side of Alexandria, staring at the statue of his missing best friend.
Blank had spent the last hour sitting on the ground in front of the granite slab, crawling around the base, hoping to locate a few names he knew. When he came to Benero and then Zenero, he placed a delicate hand on the stone and closed his eyes, honoring the memory of the brothers in all of their bravery.
And after he couldn't find anything else to distract himself with, he was left with the stony face of the dreamer staring down at him.
In all honesty, this was the first time he'd seen the statue in over two years. It was lighter on the left side – the side that got the most sun during most of the year in Alexandria. The bottom was also discolored, where many hands touched in longing and respect, perhaps for him or maybe for the people they were mourning, their names carved in the stone underneath.
He saw Dagger's roses and felt a pang of guilt. He should be there for her. But he couldn't.
He just couldn't. Not yet anyways.
The artist who carved the statue actually did a pretty decent job of capturing a Zidane-esque expression. That half-smirk he wore when going into a battle was there, and his eyes were wide with life. But what bothered Blank the most was his tail.
Zidane's tail was never flat down, and though it made more sense on a sculpture for a piece not to be sticking out in limbo, it was down, wrapping slightly around his leg. It bothered the redhead more than it should. It seemed like a sign of sadness and fear – two things that didn't embody Zidane whatsoever.
But with renewed patience, he tried to chase away the negative feelings he had towards the statue in front of him.
Fearing he would sound silly, but knowing he was alone and trying to ignore the feeling, he parted his lips, still staring at the face above him.
"It's been awhile," he mumbled, fidgeting.
He thought maybe the wind picked up and did a funny dance when he spoke, but it was probably just his paranoia.
"I'm sorry that I haven't found you yet," he continued.
There was, of course, no reply.
"I'm sorry that I failed," he looked away, his eyes angry. Usually, they were covered once again, like they were when he was an especially moody teenager, but in his haste to leave the house without waking the mage, he left any armor at home.
"I'm sorry that… I'm sorry that I've let everyone down."
He imagined the scoff Zidane might give him. What are you talking about? He would ask.
Blank shrugged, even though the thought was his own imagination. "I haven't been there for anyone. Dagger she… she's hurting, but she's kept it together so well. And I haven't even tried. I waste a lot of my time… I miss my family. Tantalus is rebuilding in Lindblum. It's doing well – there are plenty of orphans to make into a somebody," he shrugged, "but I haven't been there…"
He scratched the back of his head. Still feeling awkward, but somehow relieved at the same time.
"It's been over two years since I've seen Ruby," he admitted finally. "I… she…" Blank let out a frustrated breath. "I guess that's a topic for another time. It's still hard to talk about. I know I'm probably being an idiot. Actually, that's exactly what you would tell me."
He shrugged, shifting his weight to the other foot. He wasn't quite sure what to do with his hands, so they stayed stuffed in his pockets even though that felt a little too casual.
"I'm a knight now, or whatever. I know we used to poke some fun at Steiner but, he's been a pretty respectable captain. He's a good guy. He's going to be a father, you know? Maybe that's helped calm him down with us a little bit – too busy worrying about Beatrix. She made it, by the way. She's alive."
There was an everlasting silence ahead of him, but he took in a breath and ran a hand through his hair. The square seemed extra quiet, especially since he knew there was a couple bars just off of the west road leading out of the area. It was mostly a gathering place – a few stalls and carts were permitted to sell, but not many. There were a few shops and a few small houses that enclosed the square, but it was mostly used for memorial nowadays. The war monument and a wishing fountain took up most of the space inside, but Blank thought that was okay.
"He's easy to talk to. It doesn't happen often, but sometimes I talk to him about how much I'm struggling… As judgmental as he is, I feel a new trust now that he's officially my captain. Like maybe that order back into the world has given me a new look at him. Whatever it is, it helps. But the main person who takes care of me is Vivi. I would be a mess without him." He smiled then, "You don't have to worry about him anymore. He's strong and brave and intelligent now. He takes care of others instead of the other way around."
The redhead trailed off with a mild hum, unsure what else to say. "I'm sorry," he repeated with a sigh, too exhausted to let more tears fall. "I'm sorry for everything. I hope that when we meet again, you'll forgive me. I know you'll never understand, because you're so much braver and better than me. But forgiveness is all I want."
Kicking at the pavement, he looked down, staring at the stone under his feet. "Just because I don't come here doesn't mean I forgot about you, okay?" This seemed more an admission of his own guilt than anything else, but he didn't acknowledge it that way. "This just doesn't seem like… you. But," he chuckled, "I guess it's the easiest thing to help us grieve or whatever."
The moon disappeared momentarily, but the statue still seemed to glow.
"When I've got some time away from the Pluto Knights, I'm going to go to Terra. Mikoto made sure to preserve your house – like your real house, just in case you'd want it when you came home. Maybe it'll help me, or maybe I'll find a clue. Either way, it's got to help," he closed his eyes, "it just has to."
Steiner could certainly tell when Blank had had a rough night. He was extra jerky in his training movements, and there were more glowers at the less experienced or more oblivious knights.
The captain couldn't exactly reprimand him, however. What he did on his own time was his business, and he never actually said anything snarky to anyone. He was probably most proud of Blank for learning to control his tongue, though he knew exactly what the ex-thief was thinking just by his expressions.
The rest of the knights weren't as familiar to them. Finn, the promising kid from the resistance and Sam, Elouise's uncle, were the only two in the Pluto Knights who fought fairly close to them. There were two or three others from the resistance that Steiner had only met once or twice. Other than that, the other eight of the men who were training under him had been just a little too young, or in too obscure of a position at the time of war. There were a couple kids Blank's age who were performers in Treno, stuck there because of the papers policy and helping the city in other, small ways. Another man had absolutely no fighting experience but had wanted to make a difference and traveled to train under him from Terra.
Without even the smallest doubt, Blank was far better than all of them. While he had always been faster than even Steiner and Beatrix, Blank's fighting style had always been a little more fun and messy. But learning the more brunt style of a knight, he was progressing quickly – just as quickly as he had when he trained to join the Elites of the resistance.
He would surpass Steiner someday.
To try and deny he was proud would be foolish, but there was one part of him that worried. He knew how hard Blank threw himself into his work and closed out the rest of the world – from personal experience the last time Zidane had disappeared. So as much as the captain in him shined proudly at the prodigy in front of him, the family in him said that Blank needed some time away.
Steiner watched Blank duel with one of the younger ones. He had just been promoted to a Pluto Knight – mostly, new recruits were treated with some mercy… unless they were up against Blank.
The knight actually winced when Blank plowed the young boy down, his chin burying itself in the dirt and mud filling his mouth. And when it still looked like the redhead, in his full armor, wasn't going to let up, Steiner stepped in.
"Blank," his sharp tone had more than just the duo in front of them stopping.
The redhead looked up; Steiner watched him forcibly soften his gaze. For just a moment, it was nasty and harsh.
"That's enough, let Laim up. He is a teammate."
Maybe he shouldn't do it, but Steiner knew how to get the young knight's attitude to do a complete one-eighty. It probably wasn't healthy, but the word seemed to trigger some inner dedication to his team.
Blank saluted, his movement jerky and awkward, before extending a hand. Laim looked up, a little fear in his eyes as he tentatively took the gesture and stood shaky on his feet.
"Take a break," Steiner saluted to his battalion. "Blank, walk with me."
He pounded Laim on the chest a couple of times before trotting after Steiner.
"Yes, Captain?"
The man gave a large, dramatic sigh. "Blank, I think you should take a couple weeks off."
He nearly fell where he stood. He was taking more after Steiner than everyone thought. "What?!"
"Whatever…" he gestured wildly at the redhead, "is going on with you… it needs to stop. I've watched you continually spiral for months, and it's time to put a stop to it."
Anger returned to the ex-thief's eyes. "You're going to kick me out? I'm the best knight you have!"
"No one said anything about kicking you out," Steiner had to refrain from rolling his eyes, "and plus, if you haven't noticed, we've been at peace for a long time. And you know I'm the first to say we should always be prepared, but we will live without you. We don't need someone with such skills right now."
Blank opened his mouth to retort quickly, but it clicked shut again. He did this several times, unsure of how to answer.
Steiner did it for him.
He shrugged, "Take this time to clean up your act."
"My act?"
"Blank, people care about you. They don't want to see this self-destructive behavior anymore."
"So Dagger asked you to check on me, huh?"
Steiner's eyebrows rose in surprise. "She has asked no such thing. But she is worried about you. And so is everyone else. I just got a letter from Tantalus –"
"Don't go there with me. I'll take the damn two weeks if you want, just don't do this."
The older man gave him a hard look. He looked tired and maybe a little ill. No doubt his Friday evening went as it usually did. Not that Vivi snitched on him, but when prompted, he wasn't going to hide it from the people who were concerned with the redhead's wellbeing. His face was pale and his eyes seemed to be a little swollen. He was in bad shape and he wasn't getting any better.
"You're going to have to confront the people in your life eventually, you know."
"I know just… not yet," his voice was soft, defeated, "I'll take the time. When do you want it to start?"
"Tomorrow."
The redhead squeezed his eyes shut and Steiner knew from the look on his face he was biting back another bout of anger. "Okay. Tomorrow."
"I don't want to see you for two weeks. Unless you decide to visit Dagger."
"Steiner…" he warned, his voice tired.
The man rolled his shoulders back. "Hopefully you'll find something productive to do with your time," he nodded, "now back to the line. We've got training to finish."
Blank pushed open the door, listening to the bell tinkle above him as he stepped forward. The chatter from the small diner rose up around him, and he squinted his eyes to concentrate on finding who he was looking for.
At a corner table, with parchment spread around him, he spotted Vivi.
With a soft breath, the redhead made his way over to the mage. "Hey… do you mind if I sit?"
The mage greeted him with warm, yellow eyes as he gestured to the seat across from him. "Not at all. Let me move some of this stuff."
Blank watched as he made a pile of papers, his timid handwriting scrawled across the pages.
"What are you doing?"
He hummed a little, "Just responding to some messages from the Black Mage Village. I think they want to send a few mages to Bermecia and are wondering if I can get in touch with Fratley about it."
Blank nodded, a little surprised. He barely asked Vivi what his business was, mostly because he didn't want to prod around in something that had nothing to do with him. But he was impressed that the mage worked so diligently to bring the races of the world together after Kuja tried so hard to separate them.
"That's pretty cool, Vivi," the redhead admitted, even if it was a little mumbled and maybe a little shy. "I know that I'm not really in a position to say it… but I know everyone is proud of how far you've come."
Even though Blank couldn't see it, Vivi smiled and placed his quill down on the table. "That's really nice, Blank."
Before he could say anything further, however, they were joined at the table by a woman.
Her hair was short and wavy, just sweeping her shoulders. She was a little lanky and her pink converse looked like they had seen better days.
"Hello… Blank, right?"
He turned to face her, both of their jade eyes locking. He nodded, "Hello Elouise. You look well."
Blank could never quite pinpoint the feeling he had about this young woman. Obviously, she had done a great deal in helping to fight against Kuja, and even better when they were wrangling up dreamers who were still loyal to Kuja but had fled, or in educating and helping the dreamers, along with Avalanche, remember their old lives.
And yet, something about her made his stomach churn. Vivi had helped him sort it out a couple years ago; she had five years of Zidane while the others had no idea where he was or if he was even alive. And unfortunately, that feeling hadn't gone away, simply because Blank hadn't let it. They knew of each other, but with Zidane's disappearance and Blank's downward spiral, there hadn't been much of a reason to communicate with each other. And, of course, there was no meddling blonde insisting the best friends of his two realities meet.
"Can I get you anything?" her smile was genuine; the feeling he had in his chest, he knew, had nothing to do with her. She had readapted to life in Alexandria kindly and strongly, once the worries of the war had faded.
His eyes slid to Vivi before he answered, "Just a water, please."
She nodded before turning to the mage, "Did you want your usual order, Vivi? Or just here for business today?"
"Just here for business," he told her, his tone light and casual.
Elouise had seen Vivi in the dream world. They had never met, but she knew, with all of her disdain for the black mages, that there was one that was always a little different. And after meeting him officially, everything seemed to make sense.
"I'll grab you some tea," she told him before she walked away.
Her pace was slow, and if you watched carefully, one leg hitched slightly when she walked. It was from an injury in that final battle – something she was never completely to get rid of. Sometimes her memory slipped faster than it should have, but Hilda said there would be no dangerous lasting effects of the severe concussion she had suffered in that battle.
"I think you would really like her if you got to know her. She reminds me a lot of Zidane."
Blank scratched the side of his head. "Is that why you like to come here?"
Vivi stopped and looked around, unsure of his answer. Libby's was a popular diner, though small, with a lot of following. It was especially popular amongst the dreamers who still dwelled in Alexandria. And for good reason.
Libby's was the diner that Zidane had left, witnessing those bullies tantalizing Vivi just outside that night. The night they met. Obviously, it didn't exist in the real world anymore, so Elouise and Avalanche had opened it up, for the sake of remembrance – of their friends that were never alive, and the world that they were missing, even though it was now all around them once more.
Vivi had first been attracted to it by the memory of his meeting with Zidane. He had always enjoyed their tea in the Dream Alexandria, and the first time he had come inside, he felt rather silly. But Avalanche had coaxed him in and assured the mage he would be there, and ever since that first sip of tea, it was his favorite spot in the real world too.
It made him think of Zidane often. On one hand, that was distracting and a little sad, but Vivi secretly enjoyed the thoughts. This was a little place of memory with Zidane that nobody else had. This was the place he met his best friend.
"I guess, kind of," he finally answered, unsure how to voice all of his thoughts. Shaking his head, he connected his gaze with Blank's again, "But what's up with you? You aren't training today?"
Blank bit his lip, wondering what he should tell the mage. But honesty was the only thing Vivi accepted from him these days. "I sort of got… Laid off."
Worry crossed Vivi's face. "Laid off?"
"Steiner told me to take a couple of weeks… He says my attitude has gotten a little too… poor."
Vivi almost laughed. Steiner was the only one brave enough to say that to the redhead, and the only one he would listen to.
"What do you think about that?"
He sighed, his shoulders sagging as he stared at his hands on the table. "I feel like he's right."
Elouise appeared again, "Here's your tea, Vivi. Let me know if you need anything else." She left quickly and Vivi knew it was because he had company. Usually she hung out and talked for a little bit but seeing the distress on Blank's face drove her off – probably for good reason.
"You wouldn't be here if you didn't have a plan," the mage concluded, shuffling his papers and giving the redhead more than his full attention.
"I think…" he sucked in his cheek as he thought about what he was going to say. Was he ready for an emotional trip by himself? "I think I'm going to go to Terra."
He wasn't sure what Vivi's reaction was right away. Granted, his face was always shrouded in shadow but, he had an excellent poker face regardless.
"Are you ready for that?"
"I –" he deflated, "- I don't know."
Vivi's eyes crinkled up into a smile. "The fact that you admit that tells me you're ready to go. I think it will help you. Do you… want some company?"
"I know how much easier it would be if you went with me. But I think I need to go alone…"
Vivi nodded, "I think that's a better idea anyway. But I wanted to give you the option."
There was so much he wanted to say to the mage. There were many years of appreciation and understanding in his persona now – many years of taking care of the mess Blank's life had become with unfailing support. What could he even say? How could he even begin? He opened his mouth, wishing he could say anything.
Vivi took a moment to look at him, his eyes focused and clear, before shaking his head. "You don't have to say anything, Blank. We're friends. If you let anyone else, you know they'd do the same."
"Zidane would be really proud of you, Vivi." That was all he could muster up to say.
"That means more than you could ever know," he said quietly; for a moment, the redhead saw the shy, unsure kid from years ago once more. But just like that, the image vanished. "When will you leave?"
Blank finally sat back, the stress of the conversation over. Now that he knew what he was doing and that Vivi thought it was a good idea, he felt more at ease. The tension in his shoulders melted away. "I don't see a reason to prolong going; I think I'll catch an airship to Lindblum tonight. There should be a connection to Terra there in the morning."
Vivi nodded slowly, wishing he could ask if his friend would go see the others in Lindblum, but knew that Blank didn't want to go there. If there was something he hated more than talking about his emotions, it was talking about why he fled from Lindblum so quickly and hadn't spoken to anyone there since then.
"Be careful, okay?"
"It's only two weeks."
"I know but…" he trailed off, not sure why he felt the need to say it. "I just… worry about you."
Blank let on a tender smile. "I know, Vivi. And thank you. But I think this will really help."
"Yes, I think so too."
Their conversation lulled then, and he nodded to the mage, taking that as a sign he should leave. He stood up, pushing in his chair with contemplation in his step. He glanced up at the counter and saw Avalanche and Elouise speaking, the blonde girl sipping a cup of coffee with a worried look on her face.
She looked up suddenly, and both of the former dreamers stared at him for a moment. Blank lingered by the door, wondering if they would say what they wanted to him, but nobody came.
He took his leave, heading towards the house to pack a few things. Blank felt like he could breathe easier with this decision behind him. Maybe he would find some answers. Maybe he would find some closure.
Whatever it was, he knew it was a change that needed to happen, no matter how hard it was going to be.
A/N: That was a tough one to write! Hopefully Vivi and Blank were still in character, despite the growth (backward and forward) we see from a four year time jump. Anyway, I'm glad I could get another chapter out to you guys relatively soonish! You deserve it for being so patient with me.
I hope you enjoyed!
-zesty-
