Filling In The Blanks
Disclaimer: I don't own FFIX or any of its characters.
Chapter 133: Separated Family
He whistled as he wiped down the counter, staring at his skewed reflection in the glass. He watched the rhythmic way his body moved as he steered the cloth around the counter.
Beneath the glass was a rare assortment of daggers. Beautiful, hand crafted daggers that came out of Bermecia before the war – more for collecting now than actual use, though he kept them just as sharp as if he would need them that very moment.
Those daggers were probably the most exquisite thing in the shop, though there were some similarly as beautiful pieces elsewhere. The display of swords on the wall to his left, hung in a fanned-out display, was usually the first place that drew people's eye when they walked in the shop. On the other wall, an equally impressive, but not all that popular display of maces and hammers, for the occasional enthusiast.
Despite being a weapon's shop, the place was homey and welcoming and usually these days, most of his customers came in just to chat and share news, and sometimes they would be eager to participate in his pie-baking side business.
The bell on the door rang, and he looked up, breaking out of his thoughts.
A young girl – too young to be in a weapon's shop alone – approached.
Her long blonde hair was up in two ponytails, and her dark brown eyes were striking and wide. She was tall for her age, standing at the height of a seven-year-old when she was just four years old. Her eyes brightened further when she saw the shop keeper behind the counter.
"Uncle Cinna, Uncle Cinna!"
He laughed as he moved around the side of the counter and caught the girl who jumped at his chest. He wrapped his arm around her bottom and let her wrap her legs around his waist.
"Hello there, Mallory. What in the world are you doing out? Usually your dad is chasing you out of here!"
She rolled her eyes, "He says I am toooo young to come in. But mom's different."
His eyes crinkled as he grinned at her, delighted at that sentence.
"She's just around the corner," she pointed behind her, wriggling to strain to the side for added effect, "buying gyshal greens from the stable man."
"And she let you come alone?"
"She said if I come straight here!" she gave a big nod. "I always like to come here. I think mom likes it too."
Cinna smiled at her and placed her on the ground. Typical Mikoto. Despite her father's life revolving completely around a fighting style, it was Mikoto who was more comfortable with their daughter being around weapons. Especially in Cinna's shop.
Marcus' face was always red with anger as he puffed out his cheeks, chasing Mallory around the shop when she tried to hide, insisting she didn't want to leave. He always grumbled at Cinna, not understanding why his friend wouldn't help.
"When is your dad coming home, anyways? Surely it's got to be soon."
She frowned at his statement. "I don't know," her eyebrows knit together. He knew from spending far too much time with the girl that she hated talking about her. She loved Marcus dearly, but they weren't close by any means.
Something changed in Marcus after the war, and while not quite as severe as Blank, he became stricter and even bossier than he used to be. He told Cinna once that he hated how by the rules he had become, but no matter how hard he tried to overcome it, he felt like, as the oldest Tantalus member and in charge when Baku hadn't been around, he failed. Their family was torn apart – worse this time than the last, and he blamed himself, especially when he and the rest of the team came back empty handed after trying to locate Zidane.
However, unlike Blank, he remained present. He loved his daughter and they shared many laughs. But he spent a lot of time away – spent a lot of time working to atone for his mistakes, even if it was unnecessarily so. He was hard on Mallory and sheltered her away from the life he grew up in, hoping she would be more drawn to the way her mother had grown up, mostly in the background instead of the front lines.
But as life would have it, she, of course, loved the idea of Tantalus on every level. That was probably one of the reasons her and Cinna were so close. Mikoto okayed it, and even though he felt like he was going behind his friend's back, Cinna told Mallory stories about their youth. She had a right to know why Cinna and Ruby were like family, even though they weren't. She had a right to know why her father was away so often.
Marcus was furious the first time he found out Cinna was telling her stories of their past, and that was when it came out how much of a failure he felt like to his team and his family. After that, he always expressed his annoyance, but never told Cinna he wasn't allowed to tell Mallory these stories, though never actively participated in answering her questions.
But Mallory was smart; she knew not to push her father on the subject, instead turning her attention toward Cinna. He was her best friend; she had absolutely no problem getting along with the other kids, but given the option? She would choose Cinna every time.
"Can you close up the shop and come play with me today?" she asked him, gently changing the subject.
He stared at her; she looked so much like her mother. And in that way, Mikoto looked so much like Zidane. His heart hurt being reminded of their lost friend, but in a bittersweet sort of way. Mallory reminded him of a younger Zidane a little bit, and the thought could never stop making him smile.
"Well let's see what your mom has on the agenda for the rest of the day, and we'll see, okay?" he could never say no to her. It was a blessing and a curse.
"What an agenda?"
"It's like a plan for the day."
She stuck her tongue out, "Who cares about the plans. I want to play!"
"Me too, Mallory. But don't you think it would hurt your mother's feelings if you cancelled on her?"
She puckered her lips and pushed them to the side, her eyebrows knitting together. She leaned back and stared at him, her large, brown eyes questioning – and a little guilty.
"I guess so…" she sighed and swiveled to the side.
He watched her stare down for a long moment, before she lifted a gentle hand and placed it on the metal protecting the stump of his right arm.
"You're a good person, Uncle Cinna."
He stared down at where her tiny hand was touching. His brave act to save Ruby's life didn't cost him his own, but it cost him his dominant arm. The bleeding wouldn't stop and the nerves had already died in his hand by the time Dagger could get to him. Not even all of the white magic and herbs fed to him could help, so they amputated his arm, halfway between his shoulder and his elbow.
The scar was ugly and a little ragged, but a few Bermecians carved a beautiful metal plate for him and he made it into a metal cover of sorts. In these four years, Cinna, already incredibly intelligent in mathematics and physics, had become quite a renowned engineer. He helped Regent Cid on new plans for airship travel and participated in making nearly every perfectly-working prosthetic that everyone who was missing a limb from the war was wearing.
He could have made one for himself. In fact, many asked him why he didn't.
"Don't you miss your dominant hand?"
Cinna glanced up at Marcus who was holding a one-year-old Mallory on his lap. He was bouncing his leg and she was giggling and blowing spit bubbles as she stared around the room.
He had been writing out a small footnote for some plans he was sending to Cid in the morning. It took him a long time and he certainly had a long way to go, but he had, for the most part, learned how to write with his left hand.
His hand writing was atrocious.
The question posed never bothered him. Cinna was very open about his story. Though not particularly proud of the wound, he wouldn't take it back, for it had saved Ruby's life. While others might have been sensitive on the subject, he never had been, especially not with his close friends.
"Yeah, I do a lot."
Mallory's eyes swiveled towards him at the sound of his voice, and he smiled widely at her.
"Then how come… I don't know, how come you don't make yourself a prosthetic? I bet it'd be good to swing a hammer again."
That was the only part that truly saddened him about the entire thing. He could learn to write and his penmanship didn't bother him; he could do everyday tasks and although they took him longer, he was a patient man.
But his fighting style was sloppy, and the mace he'd like to use was too heavy to get enough speed out of in his left hand.
The first day he went to spar with his left hand, he left the ring, Marcus at his side with an arm slung around his shoulders, Cinna in tears. His hammer was part of his identity – especially because fighting had been all he grew up doing. And it was gone.
He sighed sadly.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean –"
"It's okay," he told his friend. He shrugged, putting down his pen, staring at his large, shaky letters scrawled across the letter. He was certain Mallory, at one year old, could write better than he could. Rubbing the crease in his forehead, he glanced at his friend with a painful smile. "I just feel like…" he looked away, "it's kind of stupid."
"What? Tell me?"
His voice got quiet then and he peeked up to stare at his friend. "I don't want to forget…" his hand unconsciously went to the metal plate that covered the end of his stump and massaged it lightly with his fingers. "It helps me remember… what we spent the rest of our youth and our childhood fighting for. It helps me remember those who died for us – for this cause."
"Cinna," Marcus' eyes crinkled in worry as he shifted his daughter's weight on his lap. She clapped at the movement but didn't fidget, "you don't have to punish yourself."
"I know," he said quietly, glancing down at the silver plate. His finger slid around the edge, not at all sharp and actually quite comfortable against his skin. "Maybe that's what it really is, but it doesn't feel like that's what I'm doing."
Marcus heaved a sigh, "If it's not that, I'll let it go… but think about it. If that's what you feel when you really mull it over – that losing an arm is punishment for not dying when a lot of other people did, that's not right. That's not fair."
He nodded, "Okay. I will."
And that was three years ago, already. He really had thought about it and came to find that he still liked having the reminder. A couple of times, during harder stretches, he had scribbled out the plans, but weeks would go by without starting a prototype and then he would gently set the parchments in the garbage, reminding himself that it didn't have to be easy – that life now after the war was easy. Losing an arm was nothing.
He had gotten much better at using his left arm. It almost felt natural now, and though his fighting skills and style would never be what they used to be, he felt that if he really needed to use a weapon, he would fair alright. Luckily, Cinna had never prided himself on being the strongest – being the support was okay with him. And now he felt he could do that after four years of working at it.
Tantalus begged him to teach.
Nearly all of the leaders had approached him at one point or another, hoping he would take on a group of his own. Actually, they had approached both he and Marcus.
Both had turned them down.
The two of them were no longer officially part of the Tantalus Theatre Troupe.
Cinna could overcome many things at twenty-four. But he never figured out how to rejoin in with Tantalus and not be overcome by grief. He knew that Marcus felt the same. It hurt too much. It didn't feel right anymore.
Their purpose in Tantalus was over, and Cinna believed the Troupe would outgrow them eventually and at that time they would stop begging him to be a leader. While it wasn't like he didn't support what Tantalus did anymore, their purpose, for obvious reasons, had shifted. And while the main focus still stood as protectors of the less fortunate, the nightmares of war and the looming loss around that part of his life was too much to handle.
He hoped that buying the weapon's shop would help keep Tantalus at bay – to stop them from pushing him to help. It worked only for a short while.
But it had been four years now, and he had grown used to the insistent attitude of his former group's leaders and was able to roll it easier off of his shoulder now. He thought maybe after all this time the pain would lessen and maybe he would be able to do it.
But he was wrong.
"Cinna?"
Her little voice was gentle, nudging him from his thoughts as he placed her back down on the floor. Her feet tapped lightly and she adjusted her dress.
"Sorry Mallory," he nodded at her before turning and grabbing the rag off of the counter. "Why don't you help me by wiping all the glass your old uncle can't reach closer to the ground?"
She giggled, "Okay!"
He watched her move about the shop with all of the grace and speed he (and all of the others) were very spiteful towards Marcus for when they were young.
Before he could dive much further into his thoughts, the bell on the door rang again, and in walked Mikoto. She still wore the same blank expression that she usually did, but her eyes seemed to hold a little more life these days.
Her hair was short now, shoulder length and a light brown. She dyed it after seeing the rest of the world away from Terra – she hated looking like everyone else. But she still had those striking blue eyes.
"Hello, Cinna –"
"Mommy!" Mallory's excitable voice was radiant and loud, "Are we doing anything the rest of the day?! Can Cinna and I play?!"
Her eyebrows raised as they stared at the shop owner. He shrugged, "I have nothing else going on."
"If you don't mind keeping her through dinner, I'll say yes. I have a few meetings to sit in on this afternoon."
"Done," he told her, and Mallory whooped where she stood on the floor, then apologized for being so loud. "Who needs to talk to you today?" he teased.
She sighed loudly, "Regent Cid has invited some leaders from Esto Gaza into the city, and they are pushing to meet with someone who knows the Lost Continent well."
"Resource scandal again?"
"The war was at least more interesting," she grumbled quietly.
To that, Cinna had to smile. Mikoto left them then, saying goodbye to her daughter who really didn't seem to mind her mother leaving.
She beamed up at her uncle. "Can we visit Ruby today?"
He grinned; his he loved when he had an excuse to see Ruby and Mallory was the easiest way to ensure she would stop what she was doing for at least a little while to see them.
"Absolutely," he nodded and she gently took his left hand, leading him out of his shop.
Ruby clapped loudly; louder than anyone else in the entire theater.
The kids beamed at her, holding each other's hands as they bowed.
The woman sitting next to her turned, "Are they ready?"
Ruby's eyes were bright and excitable as she stood up. As soon as she stood, the kids burst into fits of giggles and scuttled away, delighted at the job they had done.
"I think they are. That was probably one of the best dress rehearsals I've sat in on at this theatre."
Colleen, the woman who helped direct the younger, orphaned kids in theater, grinned. "Tantalus will be pleased that the kids are progressing so well."
Ruby's smell fell to a thin line, but she turned so Colleen didn't see. "I'm glad to hear it."
While the other boys flat out dismissed Tantalus' pleas to have them back on board, the blonde had skirted around the issue a little better. She reconnected with Adrianna to help the kids, taking her up on the offer that still stood after all of this time to help teach the kids their acting skills before they were old enough to join the troupe. Now, Adrianna had moved on to another part of Tantalus and with no immediate threats to the world and Tantalus' shift in agenda, she didn't feel the need to move. She was more focused now on helping these children stay off the street with the theater, educating them and giving them an outlet to grow. It was less about training them now.
Each day consisted of long periods of play, some time dedicated to rehearsing and wrapping up the day with a meal that Ruby usually provided for all of the kids. For some of them, this was the only time they ate during the day. The war left a big orphan problem, but of course with all of the rebuilding of physical and political structures, these kids were hardly on the radar for help. That's why Ruby was so insistent in helping them.
As Colleen moved along to speak to the children still on stage, Ruby felt arms wrap around her from behind.
"I watched the very end. It's looking great."
She squeaked in surprise and turned, her arms curled into her chest to see the man behind her staring with large, loving eyes and a big smile down at her.
"Greyson! I didn't know you'd be here today!"
The corners of his eyes crinkled "I got back from my business trip early and thought I would come to surprise you!"
"That's really sweet," she stood on her tip toes and kissed him.
"Anything for my beautiful wife."
For just a fraction of a second, Ruby's smile faltered. For just a moment, Greyson's eyes flashed emerald, and she imagined him just a bit shorter than she – he would have to reach up on his tip toes to reach her lips and not the other way around.
Greyson was warm and loving and protective and wildly intelligent, logical and not at all impulsive and she swore he had no angry bone in his body.
Everything Blank wasn't.
And then that moment was gone and she was smiling up at the man again.
Before she could say anything back, the door to the theater clattered open and banged against the wall. Both of them whipped around to see Mallory looking sheepish with an equally guilty looking Cinna behind her.
"Auntie Ruby!" She leapt forward and the tall, slender woman catch her with laughter in her arms.
"Mallory!"
Cinna stepped up, his eyes sliding towards Greyson. The man nodded politely at him, "Hello Cinna."
Ruby's childhood friend nodded stiffly at him, "Greyson."
"We wanted to come have lunch with you, Auntie Ruby! Cinna took the whole day off just to spend it with me, and I wanted to spend some of it with you!"
"Is that right?" she beamed, "Well I'd be honored!"
"Ruby," Greyson cleared his throat politely, but with impatience. "I was hoping my surprise would include lunch."
"Oh," her face faltered for a moment as her eyes slid towards Cinna. His face seemed less happy than it had a moment ago, and Mallory stared up at her with big, pleading eyes. She put a hand on his arm, "I know you just got home but… It's so rare for me to have enough time to see Mallory and… Cinna."
"Of course, darling. Maybe I can cook you dinner tonight?" His face held that adoring expression.
She nodded, "I'll see you tonight."
He kissed her, his lips lingering close to hers. "See you tonight." He held her for a moment longer before nodding at Cinna and walking out of the theater. As soon as the door shut her friend let out the breath he was holding.
"Give him a fair chance, Cinna," she pleaded. Her voice lowered and her eyes set downcast. "I know this ain't what we expected… I know we thought Blank would…" she couldn't finish – something caught in her throat.
He watched her carefully, the way her forehead creased and her eyes got a little confused. Blank had left her so abruptly. They had just won the war and he had just gone to look for Zidane. He came home, and it only took a week for him to wake up in the morning and untangle himself from Ruby and just leave.
Her eyes blinked into focus as she stretched out her limbs, expecting to rewrap her arm around Blank's waist. Her sleepy mind tugged into consciousness as she remembered the night before.
Blank had been quiet – far too quiet since he'd come home. The first day, he hardly said a thing, but asked Ruby to show him Lindblum again, as he wanted to see it rebuilt after the year and a half he'd been away. She decided not to ask why he stopped replying to her letters.
He held her hand a lot – actually, would barely let her go the whole day. But he didn't say anything. Sometimes he smiled as the others laughed, but mostly he held a strange expression on his face.
The first night they spent together when he was home, he stroked her hair as she lay in bed reading a book. It didn't take long for him to slowly push her book away and press his lips against hers. After being separated for a year and a half, all of the lust of missing someone poured out into their night together. Both of them panted as they pressed against each other, eager for the other's touch.
Slowly as the week went on, Blank got more and more distant. He still hadn't said much and especially not about the mission to find Zidane. She stopped in to talk to Marcus, but he barley had anything to say either.
He stared at her with sad eyes, "We failed him again, Rubes. We failed him again."
That was enough for her to know why Blank was pushing everyone away and not speaking to anyone. When she was done with the kids for the day, she would wait for a couple of hours for him to get back to her place, and usually the smell of liquor was pretty prominent on his breath.
He held her close every night – almost clung to her, but by morning he was distant again and barley paid her any mind at all.
One time she had asked him if he wanted to talk about it and he hadn't come home that night. She cried and hated herself for it. Blank was struggling, that much was obvious. But why was he pushing her away so hard? Why couldn't he confide in her. They were together again at last.
Six days after his return, they weren't speaking at all – she didn't see him during the day and he came home after she was already in bed. He would lower himself to the mattress slowly, as to not wake her even though she'd been awake and waiting for him for hours.
He would gently place a hand on her waist and fall asleep next to her and for a moment her body could relax.
But that sixth night, something changed. She came home after a particularly hard day. She had just met the very first orphan that wasn't parentless because of the war loss. The young boy had had his mother, and she had just died of sickness.
He spent the whole day crying in her arms as everyone tried to make him feel better, as now he was just as hopelessly lost as the rest of the kids she spent her day with.
Her neck ached from hunching around the child the whole day, but when she opened the door, she saw Blank waiting for her.
He smiled, though didn't say a lot. In his hand was a bouquet of roses.
"What's this about?" she asked skeptically, though her stomach was doing nervous flips.
"I want you to know that I love you," he told her simply and quietly. His voice was gentle – more gentle than he'd ever heard it.
Her face lit up in a sad smile. "What's been goin' on with you, Sugar?"
He shook his head, "I'm sorry Ruby, I really am. I'm just… not ready to talk about it."
She nodded slowly, trying to detect a lie. "Alright."
He set the flowers gently on the table and walked up to her, leaning up on his toes to place a kiss on her lips. She accepted it gently, but then he grabbed her roughly by the shoulders and deepened the kiss like he physically needed it.
It didn't take long for them to end up in bed, and it was the longest, best night of Ruby's life.
He whispered softly in her ear as they were just about to drift to sleep. "I love you."
As soon as her stretch was over and her arm landed delicately on the bed, her eyes fluttered open, fully conscious. She sat up, her hair spilling over her shoulders as the blanket fell off of her bare chest.
Where was Blank?
Disappointment seeped into her mind, but she shook it off, slowly crawling out of bed and finding clothes for her day. Blank wasn't usually here when she woke up, but she thought maybe that morning would be different.
The day was long and something nagged at her uncomfortably.
She got home that night expecting him to be there, but the only trace of him was the bouquet of roses that were left forgotten on the wooden dining table. She sat at that same table, drumming her fingers along the splintered wood in anticipation.
Minutes turned to hours and the night turned into the morning. At first light, she knocked on Cinna's door and they searched for the redhead for half of the day before recruiting Marcus.
At sundown that evening, Cinna sat with her, holding her hand at her kitchen table as fear gripped her mind. Marcus entered the house with an unreadable expression.
"Did ya find him?" she whispered, knowing that there was no good news.
"Ruby…" he started slowly, his own expression masking his grief. "The last place there really was to check was the airship station to see if," he shrugged, "maybe he bought a ticket somewhere."
"Okay," she nodded, urging him silently to continue.
"I know the man through Mikoto quite well. He told me that Blank bought a ticket, but Blank insisted he not tell anyone where he was going. He said he didn't want to be found and warned the man that a woman named Ruby would come looking for him and it was especially important that she didn't follow him. Out of respect for his customer, the man didn't tell me where he bought a ticket to."
She shook her head, "I'm confused."
"Ruby," Marcus breathed and she could see the ache in his heart through his eyes. "Ruby he's gone. He's left."
"But… he just got home."
Cinna squeezed her hand as tears welled up in her eyes.
"Specifically me? He specifically didn' want me to come looking for him?"
The tears poured over her eyes and she let out a sob before she could help it. Had she done something wrong when he was home? Had he done something he was ashamed of? There was no note, no explanation.
No nothing.
Blank had only specially asked a man he didn't know to not tell a woman named Ruby he where he had gone. Asked a man not to tell her where he had gone.
Cinna wrapped his arms around the girl and she finally broke down. He had just gotten home – the first time she was able to see him truly since the war was over. And he was gone again, but worse – gone without wanting her to follow him.
They had received a letter from Vivi a couple of weeks later, explaining that the redhead was safe and asking what had happened to drive him to Alexandria. Ruby couldn't even look at the letter. Marcus was the one who responded.
She sucked in a breath and squared her shoulders. "He's not Blank. And I know that's not what all our friends wanted. But he's better than that," her shoulders sagged; her gusto didn't last long. "He loves me."
Cinna sighed. "He just… I know he doesn't approve of our past; he doesn't like the idea of thieves fighting and stealing and –"
"We're past that. And he knows it."
"You shouldn't be ashamed of who you were, Ruby."
Her face hardened, "I'm not."
He put his hands up in defense as soon as he saw her expression change. Cinna knew he was being hard on the man, but while it was no secret that he really did love the woman, Greyson was a bit possessive and jealous and scoffed at Tantalus in general. He was very law upholding and traditional in the way that he thought women should be ladies and not fighters. And that was definitely not Ruby.
However, Cinna knew the man loved her and that Ruby loved him with the pieces of her heart that were left. He would never tell her this, but he knew she would never truly heal from Blank. That, he guessed, is why she allowed these flaws in Greyson to go mostly unchallenged.
As long as he wasn't mean to her and just her friends, he and Marcus agreed that that was good enough.
She was trying to fix her broken heart and that wasn't something Cinna could blame her for.
Ruby met Greyson about two months after Blank left, and she wanted nothing to do with him romantically for about a year. They dated seriously for a year and a half and just two months ago had been wed.
At twenty-six years old, Ruby married the man with the intent of not wasting the rest of her life waiting for Blank to come back. He had had so many chances, and never once had he tried. She was hurt and angry, but when Greyson asked her to marry him, she didn't say yes out of spite.
She cared for the man.
Loved fully? Maybe not, but she did care for him.
And that was enough.
However, she and the others would be lying if they all said they hadn't searched for Blank at the wedding. She sent Vivi an invitation and a special note addressing Blank – if he wanted to come he could, but if he didn't want to, there were no ill feelings. Cinna remembered watching the bride continually glance into the audience as her and Greyson said their simple vows.
Blank didn't show up.
Before the rowdy party that would only ensure from a Tantalus wedding (much to Greyson's subtle surprise), Cinna and Dagger had spent an hour holding onto Ruby, handing her tissues and helping her as best they could with her makeup as she sobbed.
"Are you guys done with your adult talk so we can eat? I'm hungry!" Mallory suddenly reappeared at their sides, slipping her hands into theirs as she pulled their arms gently.
Both of them stared at each other for a moment, exchanging silent words before nodding to her.
"Yeah," Cinna chuckled, "I'm hungry too, let's go!"
Lindblum had taken off in the last few years. There was technology littering the city, despite the old look to the city that had been preserved through reconstruction. It seemed to become more bustling every single day, which neither of them minded. The liveliness was a wonderful change to the rest of their young life.
The city saw so much diversity now that it was the technology headquarter of the world. Cid's creations and the help of many intelligent engineers (Cinna included) created a world unlike any other in this city and it attracted every species of life in all forms.
There was never a dull moment wandering the streets.
Cinna was watching a few kids run circles around the vendors pushing their carts down the street when Ruby tugged them gently to the side. He glanced at her, seeing she wore a small smile.
"Let's visit him."
A grateful smile overtook his features as he nodded, "Yeah. Good idea."
With a new purpose in mind, Mallory chattering mindlessly in between the two, the trio paraded through the Market District. Cinna stopped for only a moment to flick a coin at a vendor and take a bushel of flowers.
It didn't take them a long time to get to the open park. The path was long worn, the two of them visiting more than anybody else. Past the gate, all footpaths ended, and their feet touched grass. Immediately, Mallory wiggled from their grasp and exploded into the park, running this way and that with a huge grin on her face.
In this intimate moment, Ruby and Cinna clasped hands and walked together. There were a few trees that housed all sorts of animals from squirrels to birds to help block out the noise of the bustling city behind them. It was a mellow, tranquil place.
Despite the reason they were there, it never felt completely sorrowful being there.
In the middle of the park was a memorial stone similar to the one that Alexandria housed. Situated in a circular pattern around the center stone some yards back, were different, smaller memorial stones that looked more like headstones. Carved into each headstone was the name of a rank of the resistance. Each rank represented the battalions that members were placed in going into the final battle; there wasn't enough room in the middle of the city to have a headstone of memorial for each individual person, and Cid and Hilda didn't want to make any death feel lesser by giving individual stones to higher ranking members of the resistance.
The two of them stopped together in front of a headstone and bent down, their arms linked together. Cinna glanced at the bushel of flowers in his hands and a lump caught in his throat.
"We miss you," he began, placing the bouquet of wood violets down in front of the headstone with Tantalus inscribed on it.
Ruby leaned her head on his shoulder as they stared at the stone. The sun had withered the color away and the words didn't seem as stark anymore. Her heart clenched with sadness.
"I know you'd make fun of us for mourning you but… We owe you our life. All of us. Despite being orphans and," he shrugged without noticing, "you being a horrible, horrible influence over ninety percent of the time… You really looked out for us like a parent, Baku."
She squeezed his arm as she reached out and touched the top of the stone. It was warm from the sun's rays.
"We love ya," she told him in a quiet voice. "and we will never stop being grateful for ya for the rest of our lives."
"I think you would be proud of the rebuilding of the world," Cinna said, also touching the stone. "See you again, Baku."
Both of them stood and looked at each other. Ruby's eyes has a little mist in them, but they had stopped crying years ago.
Baku had pulled through having his legs blown off by the explosive he had jumped on to save his troupe, but there just weren't enough hands. He had died of infection after insisting everybody who could heal anybody should look after the others first. Ruby told the others it had come quickly – so fast there hadn't been time to react. He was okay, sitting up talking with Ruby with bandages all over his body, and when he took a short, restful nap, he never woke back up.
Dr. Tot – the closest thing they had to a real, actual doctor, had said Baku had to have known it was coming because he wouldn't be able to ignore his body shutting down but stayed silent and protective of his pride until the very end.
"Ah, stop worrying," he told Ruby as he crossed his arms over his chest. "You've got a hell of a lot of other people to be worrying about."
"Baku," Ruby mumbled, putting a hand on his arm.
He snatched that hand and she expected him to swat it away, but he squeezed it. "You guys will be okay. Tantalus will be okay. Things will be fine, I promise."
At the time, Ruby had thought he meant saying that things would be fine meant he would be fine. But as the years went by after Baku's death, she knew him telling her things would be fine meant that someday it wouldn't hurt anymore.
That was why nobody could face being a part of Tantalus anymore. Tantalus reflected their shattered family a little too well – with Zidane's second disappearance, Blank's self-destructive path and Baku, Benero and Zenero's deaths. It was too much.
Mallory joined them after they's stood staring at each other for a little while and placed her hand on the top of the tombstone. She didn't understand death yet, nor had she ever met Baku, but the others were all extremely insistant that he was an important part of her life. For a long time, she asked when she would meet him if he was so important, but that question had faded.
Despite not having met death, she understood that they couldn't see Baku anymore and that, in turn, she would never meet him. But it wasn't by either party's choice.
After paying her small respects, she glanced up at the two of them, Marcus' brown eyes peering up at Ruby and Cinna. "Ready to go?" she asked patiently.
"Yeah," Ruby nodded with the smallest sniffle. "Yes, let's go have lunch."
"Okay," the two others said with a nod.
And just like that, they were off again, the petals of the flowers shaking in the breeze that one could only really feel in the park.
Ruby let out the biggest sigh as she pushed open the door to her home. The smell of garlic overtook her senses and she let on a grin. Greyson hadn't been lying when he said he would make her dinner.
"Ruby? Is that you?"
She nodded but then remembered he couldn't see her. "I'm here," though her voice wasn't as strong as she'd hoped. Somedays, visiting the memorial all but drained her at the end of the day.
He appeared in the doorway with a smile on his face. "I'm so happy you came home."
She laughed lightly as she set down her bag, "Why wouldn't I come home?"
He shrugged, deciding not to answer and disappearing around the corner again.
Her muscles were sore as she sauntered forward, tracing her hand on the rickety table to her left. "What's fer dinner?"
"Trout of the Forgotten Sea," he answered, "with all of the sides."
Her eyebrows lifted in surprise, "That's quite the imported fish," she commented, "what's the occasion?"
He glanced over his shoulder and grinned at her. "I've been thinking…"
Ruby bit her lip, unsure how the conversation would go.
"Ruby, it's been so long now, and I know you've told me you aren't ready but…" he sighed almost dreamily, "I think we should start trying for a baby."
If possible, the woman's brow pushed further up on her forehead. "A baby, huh?"
The question wasn't super abnormal. Greyson had been fantasizing about children since the day they began dating and even before their marriage ceremony, he was always telling Ruby they should start trying. What if it takes a while? We'll be married by then.
Still, on days where she was so exhausted, it always took her awhile to decide which way to respond. She was nowhere near wanting the responsibility, not when war loomed so close in their past.
"Greyson," she said with the lightest smile she could muster while her hands found their way to his shoulders, "Why don't we just enjoy each other's company for the evening? No talk of the future. Just us. Just right now."
He frowned at her and she braced herself for the accusations that usually followed. "Did something happen today?"
She sighed, her hands sliding down his back and flopping back down to her side, "It was just a hard day today, that's all. I'd rather spend time with ya simply, nothin' serious talked about tonight."
He let out a sigh of his own, sounding frustrated. But he put on a thin smile and nodded at her, "You know we're going to have to talk about this some time, right?"
She nodded, "Just not tonight."
"Alright," he turned and pecked her on the cheek lightly.
Ruby waved at him as she passed through the kitchen and climbed the stairs to their shared bedroom. The place was very tidy, even after Greyson came home today. He was a pretty organized person and while most of the time she found it great, some days for no particular reason, it annoyed her.
Clicking her tongue, she shook herself from the mood that was threatening to dampen down on her. Dwelling on her husband's persistence would only make her angry and fighting with Greyson very rarely ended in perseverance.
A baby though…
She couldn't, even if she wanted to.
She wasn't over everything that had happened to her – and especially not over Blank. She used to get angry thinking about the redhead and the way he abandoned her, but now she just got overwhelmingly sad. She knew that she couldn't commit fully to a family without getting over that part of her.
And she knew very well that might never happen.
Ruby chewed on her thumb nail in thought, eyes swiveling to the window. She wondered what the others were doing tonight – if it was anything more exciting than the life she had settled on.
At least she was safe from admitting the truth for another night. Even if she knew it would start again tomorrow.
Marcus rubbed his weary eyes.
"Need some coffee?"
He jumped at the voice and turned his head to see Fratley holding a thermos in the darkened doorway.
"You scared me," he said as the Bermecian entered.
"I apologize. I have yet to grow used to the idea that we do not need to be quiet when we move anymore."
The half-elf gave a wry grin before accepting the thermos. "I could use an ale more like it," he decided then before gesturing for Fratley to take a seat.
"Marcus," Fratley said with seriousness. "Why are you still here? Go home to Mikoto; go home to your daughter."
He sighed heavily, "Just a few more notes to look through."
"You know they have all been looked through before. Mostly by you."
"What if I missed something?"
"I do not think you did, Marcus."
They sat at a long stretch of table in Bermecia's historic library. Marcus had finished his ambassador work a few days ago, but instead of heading home to Lindblum, he decided to swing into Bermecia. Their library held the oldest records in the world. If there were any hints about where Zidane might have vanished to, he figured it would be here. It had to be somewhere.
But this scene had been played out many times before. Marcus spent countless weeks without leaving the library; and was usually found with his head on the table asleep because he had pushed himself too long. Fratley actually went as far as banning him from the library for three weeks to ensure he got some rest.
Fratley watched the twenty-six year old for a moment. He ignored the Bermecian's presence for the most part and continued reading while he sipped his coffee. Fratley's heart ached for Tantalus and ached for the rest of the Elites that were still so hung up on Zidane's disappearance.
Fratley was in the minority, but he thought it was time to put the subject to rest. If Zidane had been teleported away and had yet to return to them, it meant he was dead. He had tried a few times to coyly slip in his theory to Dagger after a meeting in Alexandria in which her eyes flashed with hurt before she bottled up her emotions, thanked him for his advice and proceeded to excuse herself from his presence.
Since then, he had stopped trying to push this rationale on everyone, no matter what he believed. But it didn't stop him from feeling hurt for everyone, for there was no closure in a missing friend. Only the dead.
"Why are you still awake? Don't you have important president stuff to do tomorrow?" Marcus teased. The fact that he was still indulging Fratley in conversation startled him out of his thoughts.
"Hmm… I suppose I do. But I value checking up on a friend far more."
Marcus raised his eyebrows, wondering if Fratley meant that, or was here simply to beckon him out of the library.
The 'president stuff' that Marcus referred to was just that. When the war was won and Freya was alright to travel after the injury to her eyes, they went back to Bermecia. There were a few lingering soldiers, but word spread fast of Kuja's death, and so they wanted no trouble. They disappeared before anything could be done about them.
Fratley hadn't known that Puck died protecting Dagger. Cleyra and Bermecia were not on great enough terms to exchange news, and so with Fratley stuck in the former, assisting almost more politically than physically, he never knew. He spent time mourning the loss of the King's heir – and the King himself – with the others, before a meeting came forth. Who would run the city now?
"A democratic vote, you say?" the words felt foreign on his tongue. "This has never been done in all of Bermecia's history."
"But what else is there?" Rama asked, also returning to Bermecia to help rebuild his city. He had returned mere days earlier from the trip he had taken with Marcus, Blank and the others to locate Zidane. "We have no heir, and they had no extended family."
"But would they run as the royal family would? After being democratically chosen, do their offspring take on the title then?"
"Perhaps that would be the easiest way to sustain order. Once the aftermath of the war has settled down, people are not going to want to change the old traditions. But we do need a way to bring in a new family."
"How would one enter themselves in such a running?"
"I think they should be nominated," one Bermecian suggested. "That way, the people are happy with the choices to vote on."
A low rumble rose and fell in the audience of the meeting. People seemed to agree with that idea.
Fratley shrugged, "If everyone is in favor of this suggestion, let it happen."
It took less than half a year to set a new presidential house into place. The agreement was not to call it the royal family, for their royal family had gallantly passed and they would not dishonor the dead by nominated a new family to take their place in every aspect.
A few were nominated – Freya and Fratley included. But ultimately, the way that Fratley stepped up in helping to rebuild and guide the lost Bermecians after they won their freedom back and the lack of desire to take the position on Freya's part, Fratley was easily voted in as the new ruler of Bermecia.
They met with the other rulers of the Mist Continent, and Cid had looked at him in surprise when explaining the course of action that Bermecia had taken.
"It is quite an abnormal route to take, not having a royal family. And yet, I am not opposed to this decision. Fratley will serve this position well. I approve." That's what the older man had said, and after he had said it, no other quarrels arose.
Marcus watched Fratley sink into that deeper thinking and new that the Bermecian wasn't going anywhere until Marcus agreed to go home. He sighed and stretched his back, taking one more swig of coffee before standing up.
Fratley shook his head of his distractions and stood as well.
"You're just as stubborn as I am," Marcus commented, piling all of the scrolls and books back together.
Fratley put a hand on the stack and shook his head, "Get started on your journey. I will take care of this. It will be here for you another time. But I beg of you, go home to your family. You are missing the life that is right before you dwelling on the past."
Those types of comments used to enrage Marcus. But now they just made him tired. He knew that Fratley had his best interests in mind, and he knew that the man was right, at least about his family. But no amount of insistence would ever change his mind about Zidane.
They didn't do enough to find him the first time, and after all of the loss he and his family had suffered, he wasn't going to give up this time.
"I will have the stable master ready a chocobo for you."
"Not even letting me spend the night, huh?" Marcus teased.
Fratley raised his eyebrows, and an echo of the younger man who trained intensely with Tantalus during their resistance days shined through. "If I let you stay, I know I will come back in the morning to see you sleeping on this table. I insist you go. If it is not now, you might never leave."
Marcus snorted at that. Fratley tried so hard to be polite, but still managed to come off abrasive. Or maybe Marcus was more tired than he thought.
"Alright, alright. I'm going already."
They walked together in a comfortable silence to the stables. The cool air of Bermecia seemed to stir Marcus' senses and he realized he did want to go home. He'd been away a bit longer this time, and truly, it wasn't fair to his daughter. Mikoto understood, but how could Mallory? She was smart yes, but so young. One day, he hoped, she would understand.
"One more thing before you go," Fratley said as Marcus hoisted himself up on the chocobo. It blinked its sleepy eyes and ruffled its feathers.
"What's up?"
"This year you will be attending Alexandria's ceremony for the anniversary, won't you?"
He sighed. The Ceremony was a week long, stretching from celebration to mourning and everything in between. Alexandria was never as packed as it was during this time to celebrate the victory over Kuja and winning back the freedom of Gaia.
"Fratley, that's months away."
"That gives you plenty of time to come up with an excuse about why you cannot be there again this year."
The first year he had been away with the group looking for Zidane. He attended the second year and realized he hated it and hadn't been back for the third or forth. But the fifth was supposed to be bigger yet and every year he received a letter of remorse from Dagger that he couldn't attend.
She had hope that one day it would be strictly celebration, and no more mourning. But it was something important for Gaia's history that they remember in detail. He suspected she never thought the ceremony would get as big as it was, but people less directly affected by the war found it a dazzling reason to make special wares and drink a lot of wine. Everyone wanted to attend.
He groaned a little bit.
"The Queen misses her friends."
He had a hard time battling that one. Dagger was in the toughest position out of them all. She couldn't hide to mourn and she couldn't run off to find her own closure either. She had to be the one to bring everyone together, and because of that, she wasn't as available as she'd like to see her old family.
"I'll think about it," Marcus answered, pulling on the reigns of his chocobo. "But I won't give you a for sure answer. I don't want to disappoint Dagger by not showing up after committing."
Fratley nodded, "All I ask is that you think about it. This ceremony began more for the members of the resistance than anyone else. It should stay that way, but it cannot if said resistance members do not attend."
"You're on party planning duty this year, aren't you?"
Fratley let on the smallest of clever smiles. "It is my duty to the people."
Marcus snorted and rolled his eyes again. "Good to see you Fratley."
"You as well, my dear friend," He patted the chocobo gently on the beak before they were off, riding into the night. "Have a safe journey."
A/N: I know that was kind of a weird spot to end, but I wanted it to be done. I am trying to break these time-skip introductory into small groups, so bare with me! Tantalus has made quite a jump, haven't they? Looks like everyone's story is far from perfect after the war.
I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! I didn't edit because I just wanted to get it out to you guys. Hopefully the little bit longer length makes up for that!
See you next time!
-zesty-
