Author's note: This chapter isn't that exciting, I'm sorry. But after this, the thrills will be nonstop until the end! :D
Disillusioned
I promise I'm trying
…
Down the hall, Danny could see Principal Ishiyama walking toward him. He stopped and watched her come closer. He knew that Sam and Tucker were waiting for him, but he would gladly take any opportunity to delay meeting up with them.
All around him, students shuffled past, threw open their lockers, slammed them closed, whooped and hollered and gossiped. Ishiyama greeted several students as she walked by, but her eyes always returned to Danny.
Danny gripped his backpack straps but did not move.
"Danny!" Ishiyama sported a big smile as she strolled up to him. "Mr. Lancer tells me that you were able to finish all of your makeup homework in time to start taking your finals with everyone else today!"
Danny nodded. "Finished the last of it over the weekend."
"Mr. Lancer tells me you did well on all of it, too," said Ishiyama. "I'm very impressed."
Danny frowned. She was impressed? Why? Because he was normally lazy and stupid?
"Thanks," he said, shifting his attention to the hallway behind her. He could see Sam and Tucker in the distance opening their lockers.
"I also read through your sister's valediction yesterday," said Ishiyama. "It's wonderful. You must be so proud of her."
Danny's eyes narrowed slightly. He was sure Ishiyama wouldn't be impressed if Jazz did well on makeup work and finished it quickly. No, that would just be expected coming from her, completely normal for Jazz to excel while it was impressive for Danny to get even a passing grade.
"Very proud," said Danny.
Ishiyama nodded, smiling, her mouth stretching as her lips thinned. Danny could sense that she had more to say, something churning in her head as she continued to bob her head up and down several times.
Danny waited for her to speak, but she seemed content to just nod and smile.
"Is there anything I can help you with, Danny?" Ishiyama finally asked as she stopped nodding.
Danny furrowed his brow. "Like what?"
"Just…" Ishiyama shrugged. "Anything."
Danny's eyelids drooped.
"No," he said dully.
The bell rang. Ishiyama straightened up and clasped her hands behind her back. All around them, students began heading to their homerooms.
"Good luck on your finals," said Ishiyama. She then turned her attention to a group of students passing by, instructing them all to hurry, hurry, hurry, no dillydallying now!
Down the hall, Danny could see Sam and Tucker shutting their lockers. He swiftly turned on his heel and headed in the opposite direction. He didn't need to go to his locker first, he could just carry his backpack around, it was fine.
In homeroom, Danny sat at his desk and stared straight ahead while other students ambled in and chatted with each other all around him. Sam and Tucker walked in just as the bell rang, but Danny avoided their looks, leaning over and rummaging through his backpack on the floor next to him, pretending it was taking a very long time to locate his notebook and pen.
"You have the entire period to prepare for your finals today," said Mrs. Werner from the front of the classroom. "You can study alone or with each other; just keep your voices down. Let me know if you need anything."
Danny sat up as other students in the room began moving their desks to be closer to friends. He opened his notebook and kept his head bent over the pages, his bangs falling and hiding his eyes. But he could sense Sam and Tucker were looking at him.
"Danny?"
Danny looked up at Sam, who was turned around in her seat in front of him. He blinked several times, trying his best to act like this was his first time noticing she was even there.
"Wanna study for our physics final together?" asked Sam with a shy smile. "Since we both have it first."
"So I have to study for the history final by myself, huh?" quipped Tucker in the seat next to Danny.
Sam rolled her eyes. "We all know you're not actually going to study right now anyway."
Tucker slumped in his desk. "True."
Sam returned her gaze to Danny, giving him another shy smile. Danny glanced at the clock on the wall and inwardly groaned over how much time was left until the next bell rang.
"I study better on my own," said Danny.
"Oh, uh…" Sam rubbed the back of her hand with one thumb. "Are you sure? I've got flashcards; we could quiz each other."
"I'm sure."
Sam's eyes misted at the lower lids. She then turned around in her seat and began leafing through her own notes.
Danny stared at Sam's back, the neckline of her black tank top curving just above her shoulder blades as she hunched over. He lowered his gaze back to his notebook.
Tucker lightly hit him with the back of his hand. "Dude," he hissed under his breath.
Danny looked at Tucker. "What?" he asked in a voice just as low.
"Are you really still mad at Sam?" whispered Tucker.
Danny recalled the last conversation he had with Sam and Tucker on Friday. Sam had said that her mother didn't want her hanging out with Danny, that she would prefer to sneak around with Danny behind her mom's back than stand up for him. And then Danny proceeded to ignore her texts about it all weekend because he had so many other far more pressing matters on his mind.
"It's not her fault her mom hates you," whispered Tucker. "You know how Mrs. Manson is; you can't change her mind on anything. It's always easier to just keep the truth from her. You can't be mad at Sam for that."
Danny chewed his bottom lip as he looked at Sam's back again.
"You at least don't need to completely ignore her," whispered Tucker. "She really wanted to apologize to you all weekend, but you just never answer your phone anymore."
Danny could feel his phone in his pocket, but he wasn't sure why he continued to carry it around. "I'm not mad at Sam," he whispered.
Tucker leaned away, his bottom lip hiking up. He scoffed and raised his shoulders. "Then what the hell is wrong with you?" he asked, his voice a little louder this time.
Sam's back shook, but she did not turn around. Danny fumbled for an answer, something that would explain away everything.
But he had nothing.
He couldn't even lie anymore.
What the hell was wrong with him?
Danny picked up his pen and tried to make sense of his physics notes, but his head was too numb to concentrate, his heart sunk too deep.
…
The first day of finals ended earlier than Danny would've liked. While other students whooped and shouted with excitement over the half-day schedule, Danny wished he could delay going home just a little longer.
But if nothing else, he at least had an excuse to get away from Sam and Tucker for the rest of the day. He was even more grateful he had decided to carry his backpack to each class. Now he didn't have to see Sam and Tucker at his locker.
Jazz had finished taking her finals the previous week and was already waiting for him in the parent pickup location. Danny climbed into the passenger seat and placed his backpack between his knees.
"Dad was going to pick you up," said Jazz as she started driving away from the school, "but he suddenly changed his mind. So I came instead."
Danny looked at her warily, recalling the way Jack's eyes glowed red when Vlad was overshadowing him.
"So how did your first day of finals go?" asked Jazz. "Physics and Spanish today, right?"
Danny turned to look out the side window. "I think I passed."
"You've been studying a lot. I'm sure you did!"
Danny narrowed his eyes, wondering if there was some hidden jab there. Did Jazz think he had to study "a lot" in order to pass? Did she think he was too stupid to pass otherwise?
"So you don't want to hang out with Sam and Tucker today?" asked Jazz, switching on her turn signal. "You really just want me to take you straight home?"
Danny shrugged. "I need to study a lot more if I'm going to pass my other finals, don't you think?"
Jazz did not say anything more the rest of the drive home.
The next two days of finals passed similarly with Danny avoiding Sam and Tucker as much as he could. Homeroom each morning was excruciatingly awkward, but to his relief, Sam and Tucker did not try to engage him in conversation. They all sat at their desks silently, studying, waiting for the next bell to ring.
During his algebra final, Danny could see Dash looking at him from a couple rows back. Danny turned his head around, and to his surprise, Dash locked eyes with him, his face completely serious, not even a hint of his usual predatory sneer. Danny shuddered and returned to his final, but he could still feel Dash's eyes on him, burning into his back.
When the last bell rang, Danny and a group of other students got up and placed their completed tests on Mr. Falluca's desk. Falluca smiled and waved, wishing each student a good summer break. Danny could see Dash walking up as well, but his eyes were on Danny, not Falluca.
Danny avoided Dash's gaze and walked out of the classroom as fast as he could, out of the school and toward the parent pickup area where Jazz was once again waiting for him. Danny looked out his window as Jazz started driving away, but Dash was nowhere to be seen.
On Thursday, the last day of finals, Danny once again had to sit next to Sam and Tucker in English.
"Hey," said Sam, dropping into her seat.
"Hey," said Danny, more out of obligation than any actual desire to greet her.
"This is our last final," said Tucker with a wan smile. "How are we gonna celebrate?"
Dash entered the classroom just then. Danny watched him walk by, Dash looking right at him. And then Kwan called his name and Dash shifted his attention to his friends at the back of the room.
"My mom wants me to help clean the house before our family comes into town tomorrow," said Danny, turning back to Sam and Tucker with his rehearsed answer.
"Oh, right," said Tucker. "Jazz is graduating."
"Maybe we can do something this weekend," offered Sam.
The bell rang before Danny could think of an answer to give her.
Throughout the English final, Danny could once again feel Dash's eyes drilling the back of his head. His knees bounced as he tried to focus on writing his essay about the main character's motives in Othello, but he kept wondering about Dash's motives instead. What did Dash want?
When the final bell rang, the resulting roar in the classroom was almost deafening. Students jumped out of their seats and rushed forward, placing their finished tests on Lancer's desk. Lancer stood next to his desk and wished each student well as they left the room.
Danny kept his eyes to the floor as he moved forward to place his test on Lancer's desk. He hoped Lancer would get the hint to please just ignore him and say nothing to him and let him leave, please—
"Dan—ah, Mr. Fenton." Lancer rapped his knuckles on his desk. "May I speak with you for a moment?"
Danny hesitantly raised his eyes. Sam and Tucker looked at him from the classroom door, but then they turned and disappeared into the hall.
Danny put his test on the desk and stepped aside to allow the remaining students to do the same. Dash gave Danny a purposeful look before walking out into the hall.
"I was very pleased to see that you were able to complete all of your makeup work in time to take your finals this week," said Lancer once he and Danny were alone. "That was a lot of work you were able to finish in a short amount of time."
Danny shrugged, holding on to one of his backpack straps over his shoulder. "I really didn't want to go to summer school."
"Yes, of course." Lancer chuckled. "I was pleased to see that you did so well on all of it, too."
"Does that surprise you?" asked Danny, his tone dull.
Lancer's face paled. "Ah—no, of course not. I—sorry, I didn't mean it that way."
"It's fine," said Danny, genuinely meaning it because whatever, he was used to everyone thinking he was stupid.
Silence. Awkward. But Danny wasn't even tempted to fill it as he waited for Lancer to figure out what to say next.
"So…" Lancer ran one hand along the edge of his desk. "I'm sure I'll see you on Friday for your sister's graduation, but after that, I won't be seeing you until the new school year."
Danny nodded. "That's typically how summer break works."
"Right, yes," said Lancer. "But, ah… Well, is there anything I can help you with before you leave right now?"
Danny's brow pinched. Lancer appeared nervous.
"Is there something you want to help me with?" asked Danny.
"Ah…" Lancer waved a hand as if to dismiss Danny's confusion. "Just asking in light of…well, what happened this semester."
"You mean when I ran away for three weeks?" asked Danny.
Lancer gave Danny a half-smile, his shoulders rising in a small shrug.
"I'm good," said Danny, lowering his eyelids.
Lancer audibly exhaled. "Well, if you do think of anything I could help you with before your sister's graduation, just let me know. I'll be ready to listen."
Danny stared at Lancer, trying to read his face. Lancer was now smiling, almost too pleasantly.
"What are you talking about?" Danny blurted, bewildered.
Another teacher appeared in the doorway just then. She stopped short at the threshold. "Oops, sorry, Rob. I didn't know you were talking to a student."
"That's all right," said Lancer. "Mr. Fenton and I were just—"
"I was just leaving," said Danny. He didn't even wait for Lancer to say goodbye as he moved past the teacher in the doorway and walked out into the hall. Students crowded around their lockers, emptying out all their contents and shouting excitedly about their upcoming plans for the rest of the day and the summer. Danny could hear other teachers chatting just as happily in nearby classrooms.
"Fenton," called Dash from down the hall. "Fenton!"
Out of the corner of his eye, Danny could see Dash heading toward him. Danny sharply turned and power walked in the opposite direction, ignoring Dash's pleas to wait, slow down, come on!
But Danny only walked faster. Because whatever Dash had to say to him, it couldn't possibly be good.
Danny took the long way around the school to get to the main entrance, losing Dash somewhere along the way. But Danny didn't slow his pace even as he reached the parent pickup area. He spotted Jazz's pink car in the lineup, which looked garish amid the blue and red SUVs.
As he headed toward Jazz's car, another vehicle parked in the line of cars caught his attention, a white van that gleamed in the afternoon sun. Danny jolted to a halt as he stared at the van, but from his angle, he could not see who was behind the wheel.
His heart thudded, his breath caught.
"Danny?" said Jazz.
Danny turned his head back to Jazz's car. Jazz had rolled down the front passenger window and was frowning at him from the driver's seat.
"You okay?" asked Jazz.
"Uh—" Danny glanced at the white van again. "Uh—yeah, fine—I just—it's nothing."
He threw open the car door, dumping his backpack on the floor before dropping into the passenger seat.
"You did it!" Jazz squeezed Danny's shoulder as she pulled away from the curb. "Finals are all done. How do you feel?"
Jazz drove past the white van. Danny felt the urge to shrink down in his seat, to hide. But he knew he had to look, to see who was driving the van. Would it be a man in a white suit with sunglasses?
"Are you looking for someone?" asked Jazz.
Danny snapped his head forward. "Uh—no, just looking out the window."
Damn it. Now he couldn't check the driver of the van without craning his neck and making it really obvious. He held in a groan and slumped in his seat as he stared out the front window.
"Are you gonna celebrate with Sam and Tucker tonight?" asked Jazz.
"Mom wants me to help get the house ready for when everyone comes tomorrow," said Danny.
"I can help her," said Jazz. "I'm sure Mom wouldn't mind if you went out with Sam and Tucker for a few hours."
Danny shrugged. "I wouldn't be too sure about that. You know how Mom is."
Jazz gripped the wheel with both hands as she stared ahead.
"I know how she is lately," she murmured.
Danny furrowed his brow as he watched her drive, but she didn't say anything more.
…
The next day, Danny was already exhausted by the early afternoon as family members began arriving. He had thrown himself into all his chores that morning and the previous day, grateful that Maddie actually allowed him to do some real work around the house. She was hesitant at first—out of guilt, he knew, as she hadn't asked him to do any of his normal chores since he had come home—but she gave in when Danny explained he needed an excuse to not hang out with Sam and Tucker.
He knew she'd do anything for the cover-up.
And all the work kept the dark thoughts away, his mind occupied with vacuuming the fudge crumbs from under the couch and getting the streaks off the mirrors and wiping the dust off the banister.
At times, it was almost like everything was normal, like nothing bad had happened, far too busy to feel or remember anything.
But then he'd catch a glimpse of himself in the family photos hanging on the wall, smiling, eyes bright. His mind would flood with triggering memories, painful and suffocating.
Still so hard to believe he used to somehow be that bright-eyed boy.
And now as the doorbell rang, Danny sat on the living room sofa, trying to mentally prepare himself but wishing he could just retreat to the safety of his room. But he had no more makeup work to complete, no more finals to study for.
No more excuses to lock himself away.
He listened as Maddie greeted the visitors at the door and welcomed them inside, rattling off pleasantries in a melodic voice.
"Look who's here!" sang Maddie as she led an older couple into the living room, her parents and Danny's grandparents. They were both attractive and fit, the signs of age visible only in their greying hair and the speckled texture of their skin.
"Oh, my goodness, is that Danny?" said his grandmother, her eyes wide. "He's grown so much since we last saw him."
"I barely recognize him," laughed his grandfather.
Danny froze, unable to get up off the couch as he tried to think of something to say, a good response, but nothing was coming to him. Maddie gave him a stern look, and Danny put all his strength into not cowering under her glare.
"Grandma, Grandpa!" squealed Jazz as she came out of the kitchen and threw her arms around each grandparent. "You're here! So glad you could make it!"
"You've gotten so beautiful, my dear," said their grandmother, running her hands up and down Jazz's arms.
"Where's your dad?" asked their grandfather, peering over Jazz's shoulder into the kitchen.
"He's out picking up lunch," said Jazz. "We've all been so busy getting ready to see everyone!"
Danny watched Jazz chatter excitedly, how effortlessly she was able to talk about how great she was doing and how so very happy she was.
Maddie was staring at him. Danny caught her eye and she smiled, lifting one hand and spreading her thumb and index finger away from each other, gesturing to the corners of her mouth. Danny obediently smiled back.
His mind conjured the family photos hanging in the hall, the pictures of him smiling wide, smiling for real.
He wished he remembered how to smile like that.
More family members began to arrive: Aunt Stacy and Uncle Craig with their preteen daughters, Lauren and Megan; Aunt Maisie and her preteen son, Kyle; Aunt Alicia; Uncle Roy; and Jack's parents. Danny forced himself to stay in place as everyone came up to talk to him. Hugs and kisses, the same exclamations and questions over and over. Danny, it's been so long! You've grown so much! How are you doing?
Danny held eye contact, stood up straight, kept his arms strong and tight as he returned each embrace, did not turn his face away as he allowed aunts and grandmothers to kiss his cheek. All the tricks he knew to convince people that he was fine, just fine, really.
"You're becoming so handsome, Danny," said Jack's mother, a sturdy woman with a round face framed by peppered curls. She stroked Danny's upper arm and looked him up and down behind her thick glasses.
"How have you been doing these days, Danno?" asked Jack's father, a hefty man who was easily the tallest in the whole family. He patted Danny's back with a hand that almost spanned the width of Danny's shoulders.
"Yes, how have you been, dear?" His grandmother's mouth turned down at the corners as she studied his face.
Danny could sense what they really wanted to ask, what they really wanted to know. How was their delinquent drug-addicted runaway grandson really doing? What scandalous details could they get out of him about the three weeks he was missing?
He looked around the room, catching glances from other family members before they hastily turned back to their own conversations. They were all curious about what really happened to him, he knew that. He was sure that they were already whispering about him, eager for him to get out of earshot.
He wondered how many of them helped look for him, if any of them had come into town to assist with the search. How much did they really care about what happened to him? Did they just want something to gossip about later in the privacy of their hotel rooms?
He watched Jazz for a moment, her eyes crinkling with mirth as she laughed with their cousins. So many people from both sides of the family had come here just for her. They were all so proud of Jazz, nothing but praise for her accomplishments and excitement for her future. No surprise at all that she had been accepted to Harvard. They expected nothing less, in fact!
But no one expected much from Danny. And now he was just a troubled hoodlum teen who probably ran away to join a gang or steal more drugs or whatever.
Yes, of course everyone came out for Jazz's graduation. She was a genius and could actually be of some use to society. But what good was Danny? Would anyone even bother showing up to his own graduation?
"Jazbeth, come here, you!" Aunt Alicia wrapped an arm around Jazz and pulled her in close. "When did you get to be so beautiful, girl? You could be a model!"
Jazz blushed and combed her fingers through her hair. "I'm hoping to do something that requires a few more brain cells than that."
"You take after your mom, both in brains and looks." Alicia looked at Danny. "You both get your good looks from your mom. She always was the pretty one. Guys went straight for her when we were together, never even noticed I was there."
"I'm sure that's not true," said Jazz politely.
"Oh, it never bothered me." Alicia waved a dismissive hand. "I'm just glad you two took after your mother and not your father."
Alicia's head jerked back with a guffaw. Jazz chuckled but looked unsure about doing so, sucking her teeth as her face turned even redder. Danny pressed his lips into a thin smile, silently noting that Alicia made no mention of him inheriting any of his mother's intelligence.
"You come here too, Danizander." Alicia threw an arm around Danny and ruffled his hair. "I can't believe how tall you got, taller than me now! You were a shrimp the last time I saw you."
Danny's lips twitched as he fought to keep up his smile. "Yeah, I, uh… I've been growing."
"I'm still getting used to Danny being taller than me, too," remarked Jazz, clasping one wrist with her other hand. "I can't really call him my little brother anymore, can I?"
"No, you really can't," laughed Alicia, shaking Danny's shoulder.
Another aunt grabbed Jazz's attention, pulling her into a new conversation as she turned away from Danny and Alicia. Across the room, Maddie was also chatting away with family, but Danny caught her throwing a glance in his direction. He met her gaze, and she smiled at him. Danny reflexively smiled back.
"So, Danny." Alicia lowered her voice, her head ducking as she leaned in close. "How are you? Really?"
Danny pushed up the corners of his mouth. "I'm fine, Aunt Alicia. I promise. Just went through a rough patch, but things are okay now."
Alicia nodded. "Being a teenager is tough. I had some rough patches myself."
The front door opened just then, and Jack loudly announced that lunch had arrived. Cheers filled the house as everyone greeted Jack and helped him carry foil-covered containers of food into the kitchen.
Danny watched Jack closely as he walked by, waiting to see a flicker of ghostly red in his blue eyes. Maddie had assured him that she did not ask Vlad to overshadow Jack during Jazz's graduation party, but Danny didn't actually trust her on that.
Maddie was staring at him, her lips pursing into a scowl. Danny quickly turned back to Alicia.
"It is tough being my age, you're right," said Danny. "But I'm doing a lot better now."
Alicia patted his back. "Let's go eat, bucko."
The chatter heightened as everyone crowded around the kitchen table to serve their plates, piling them high with taco shells and ground beef, shredded cheese and lettuce, tomatoes and sour cream. Danny was relieved that no one was paying attention to him now, all focus on the food. Everyone took their plates to different areas of the living room: grandparents on the couch, cousins on the floor around the coffee table, aunts and uncles in padded folding chairs. Maddie and Jack flitted around and checked that everyone had enough food, encouraging anyone who wanted more to get seconds.
Danny took his own plate to a corner of the living room, leaning against the wall with one shoulder as he shoved each bite into his mouth so he could have an excuse not to talk even if someone did decide to approach him.
But thankfully, no one seemed to notice Danny standing all alone.
Or perhaps they just didn't care.
How much did they care when he was all alone for those three weeks he was missing?
"Are you okay, Danny?"
Danny choked down a groan along with a bite of ground beef as he put back on his smile and turned away from the wall. His smile fell when he saw Jazz, her soft teal eyes round and concerned.
"Uh—yeah, I'm fine," said Danny. "Why do you ask?"
"You're just over here all by yourself," said Jazz.
Danny used one finger to outline a circle above his half-eaten tacos. "Just eating. I don't really like to eat around other people."
Jazz hummed and nodded, as if considering his answer as she looked at his plate. "Well, when you're finished, do you want to come upstairs with me?"
Danny tilted his head and stuck out his bottom lip just slightly.
"I just need to start getting ready for tonight," explained Jazz, pulling a lock of hair from over her shoulder and combing through it with her fingers. "It takes forever to curl my hair, you know. You could hang out in my room with me if you want. Get away from all this." She gestured to the center of the living room. "It's kind of getting overwhelming for me too."
Danny looked out into the living room, at all of their family still eating and laughing together.
"Watching me curl my hair might be kind of boring, but we could just chill." Jazz shrugged. "Or talk."
Danny furrowed his brow. "Talk about what?"
"Just…whatever," said Jazz, shrugging again.
Danny stared at her, and although he could see she was trying to act nonchalant, he could also see the worry etched in her face, the nervous way she ran her fingers through the same lock of hair over and over again.
Across the room, Danny could see Maddie holding a glass of ice and cola in one hand but not drinking from it. Her eyes were fixed on him.
You keep raising red flags, Danny. Locking yourself in your room all day—how do you think that looks to people, Danny? You have to help me out here, Danny.
"I think I'll stay down here," murmured Danny, staring back at Maddie.
Jazz lowered her gaze to the floor. "Okay." She tossed all her hair behind her shoulders. "Well, if you change your mind, I'll be upstairs."
Danny nodded, still looking at Maddie as Jazz said a quick goodbye to the family and headed up to her room. Maddie continued to look back, neither of them moving at all for some time.
"Do you think we'll see some ghosts while we're here?" asked Lauren from her seat on the floor.
"Gosh, I hope so," said Megan. "They're the only thing that's cool about Amity Park."
"You don't think I'm cool?" asked Jack with a mock pout.
Lauren and Megan giggled. Maddie suddenly blinked and scratched the bridge of her nose, breaking the spell that held Danny in place. He sucked in a sharp breath and looked down at the remaining tacos on his plate. He considered just throwing it all away.
But instead, he forced himself to rejoin the family with his plastic smile.
