Author's notes
THIS CHAPTER HAS SONG!Recommend reading with background bgm (provided above). The song will start later, don't worry about it (make sure you clicked play)
This side story takes place between Clockwork Flower Pavane chapter 2 and Vol. F.
START THE SONG AND ENJOY!
Fate/Grand Order: Where All Miracles Begin, SCHALE
Side Story: Toki, Toki, The Maiden's Bewildered Heart (3/3)
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"Sensei— Let me kiss you."
Hearing her shocking sudden request, Fujimaru Ritsuka froze.
"...W-What?" He stammered, blinking as if he hadn't heard her right.
"I said—" She hesitated, noticing his wide-eyed expression, then sighed, her cheeks tinting pink.
"Never mind. That might've been too much too soon... We'll start with something easier."
"Wait— What?"
Ignoring the dumbfounded man, she stepped closer. Her normally stoic face showed a hint of nervousness yet determination. "A hug, that's softer. Then we can work up to the kiss."
"A hug..?" He swallowed hard, unsure if she was joking or dead serious. He knew she was up to something but how could someone expect this? Nonetheless, from her expression— it clearly was the latter.
"Don't overthink it." Closing the gap between them, She said while spreading her arms wide. "Hug me— Cuddle me, Sensei."
"Toki! You've got to be kidd—" Before he could finish his response, the maiden wrapped her arms around his torso, pressing her head lightly against his chest.
"Do I look like someone who cracks jokes?"
Buried in his embrace, she hugged him warmly as though slowly melting into his flesh.
"See? Easy." The maiden whispered with a little teasing smirk. Like a child winning on their game, her confidence rose. The nervousness dispersed the instance she successfully dived in, the reason? –She was approaching closer to her doubt. The feelings she couldn't understand before, she now grasped the meaning of it.
Thump Thump ThumpHer heart throbbed violently, she could feel her cheek redden from the pulsating blood vessels. However, the girl did not hate it at all— it felt... wonderful.
Moreover, to her surprise— she could also hear his heart pounding, thumping so loudly as though reverbing with hers.
"Toki— what is the meaning of this?" Awkwardly he asked.
"It's not like we've never done it, Sensei. Just now, I found it is very different compared to when we were sleeping unconsciously." With a little smile on her face, she finally pulled back.
"Sigh...Hey look, Toki, you are a girl. You can't shove yourself into someone like that." Still in daze, he sat down on his chair. His head suddenly felt heavy, worrying about something.
"Sensei, this is crucial. Please cooperate."
"Hahh— What about you explain to me first what you're trying to do." Despite his nagging, the corner of his mouth still curled up, his face hued in a hint of red. The man unexpectedly took a lot of damage from the unforeseeable attack.
"I realized it is a very important problem. You see, over there." Toki with a determined face, pointed at the couch—piled with mangas.
"...You are bored? You said you didn't like manga too." He asked, feeling a little relieved... her questionable actions previously must be some kind of 'play'. "Alright, I will play with you. What do you want to try today? games? drawing?"
"No— I want to check on something. It seemed to be true as the intel said." She approached him again. This time she sat on lap, one of her slender arms wrapped around his neck— the other one touched his chest, directly on his heart.
Thump Thump Thump
"This weird feeling I felt for the past days. Sensei, I think I know what it is now."
GulpThe man swallowed a dry saliva.
Thump Thump ThumpHer heart beat fast. A small proud smile appeared on her tender lips... not only hers, she also felt his too.
Slowly and steadily, she reached for his hand and put it on her chest.
Thump Thump ThumpLikewise, the man also felt the resounding heartbeat from the mischievous maiden. Taking advantage of his stupefied expression, the girl continued.
"Let's move on to the next step, Sensei."
As if time became frozen, the moment became an eternity. Locking her last gaze at his lips, Toki leaned in, her eyes fluttering shut.
Her lips were only a breath away.
10 cm...
7 cm...
5 cm.
Just about they were going to touch. Two hands suddenly grabbed her shoulders, pushing away— creating a distance between them.
"..."
"...Why?" She asked, her voice cracking. Her eyes flew open, filled with confusion.
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I exhaled, lowering my hands but still keeping a distance between her. My face turned cold and serious. "That's enough."
"We are teachers and students, we can't continue this."
The color drained from her face as she stared at me. As if the world pressed onto her, her mouth voiced out inaudible words so as quiet as a whisper— The words stuck in her chest, she couldn't get them out.
With her sitting on me, I could feel a little quiver in her body.
After a few seconds, she finally spoke.
"Why— Don't you feel the same way?" she asked, her voice trembling.
In front of me used to be a strong, confident yet expressionless girl. The girl had trouble socializing since she was alone most of the time, thus making her face deadpan, unreadable of her thoughts. But now— that was not the case, the situation I'd not ever want to happen, the situation I hated the most...
The one right in front of me now— it was very painful to describe.
Her slender body was trembling, the hands wrapped around my neck felt powerless. A clear, wet moisture appears on her eyes, forming a reflective droplet of solemn tears. Asuma Toki was crying.
"After the tests, I figured it. I love you— Not as a teacher, but as a man."
"A love between man and woman."
"..." I could only bite my lips, listening to her sobbing voice.
I can't imagine what she was going through.
Sad, Disappointed, Rejected?
All of their causes were me.
I was in conflict— Before this... I couldn't deny the excitement, since at the end of the day, I was still a young man in my twenties. However, I was now a teacher, and I still had no guarantee whether what would happen to me, or this world in the future. But most importantly, Toki— she was still young and curious. Like a newly bloomed flower, no one should ever lay their hands on it yet.
As a teacher, ethically, I failed. I should not haven't let our feelings and actions develop this far.
I will do anything— to correct this mistake. Even if it hurt her, I would ensure it would be the best option. For her, for her own sake... for her bright future.
"Toki, I appreciate your feeling for me. But right now, you're too young."
"..."
"You just realized how you feel." I struggled to choose the right words, guilt pressing heavily on my chest. "This is all still so new to you. I don't want you to rush into something you might not be ready for."
Her lips parted as if to protest, but no sound came out. The hurt in her eyes was unmistakable, and she quickly looked down, trying to hide the sting of rejection. "I... I wasn't rushing," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I just thought... I thought you felt the same."
I do
Two easy words I couldn't let them out. Swallowing them back, I continued as gently and sincerely as possible.
"You deserve to experience this when you're sure, when it's not just... curiosity or a moment of impulse."
"What if that feeling disappeared one day, won't you regret it?"
Her shoulders slumped, her eyes blinking back the tears that threatened to fall. "No, no, no— Sensei, it won't, it won't disappear and I won't—" she said bitterly. She took a step back, her arms wrapping around herself as if to shield her heart from further pain.
"Toki, as of now, I can't accept your feelings."
"..."
"Take your time, time will prove everything. Your feelings— our feelings too."
"Maybe after you've graduated or grown up into a fine woman, I may have fallen head over heels for you— But at that time, you'll already be mature. Maybe you'll reject me cruelly... since your feelings for me have long perished."
Toki turned silent, listening to me quietly. Only the sound of sobbing can be heard throughout the room.
Approaching her closer, I gently wiped her tears.
"Take your time, spend a lot of time with yourself."
"I won't go anywhere. I'll always be here."
Like water from a burst dam, her tears suddenly burst out, drowning in all sound and thought.
My heart ached... Today, I made an emotionless girl crumble.
She cried heavily, crying her heart and soul out.
The sight of her like this was too much to bear. Without a word, I closed the distance between us and wrapped my arms around her trembling form. She collapsed into my chest, her sobs muffled against me as she clung to my shirt.
The weight of her sadness pressed down on me. Even if it hurt now, I wanted our story to be one without regrets.
I held her tighter, my hand gently stroking her back as I let her wail out her pain.
"I'm sorry."
I didn't mean to hurt you.
I murmured under her heartbreaking cry.
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Eventually, after almost an hour, her sobs subsided. Shedding the last drop of tear, she pulled away. I remembered it clearly— her face streaked with tears as she looked up at me.
"I need some time."She said softly in a fragile voice. That was my last image of her... I watched as she turned and walked away, her steps heavy with heartbreak.
This must be the best outcome.
I broke my student's heart. It also hurt me but my pain couldn't be comparable to her.
I was worried— but it'd be a valuable experience for a girl her age.
As a teacher, I couldn't show favoritism. As a master— my conditions were too uncertain, I couldn't guarantee anything much less a bright future up ahead. I was also an outsider, I could disappear at any moment— it could be next month, next week, tomorrow, or even today.
I didn't dare picture it, a future I could live a serene, peaceful life— in this world, in this city.
[Me]
Did you get home safely?
(Read)
I checked on her in Momotalk, she left me on read.
It could be weeks, months, or even years for someone to move on. This was her first love too, it would even take longer... but I was willing to wait, I would do anything to help her.Was I doing it because I was a teacher?Even the sentence had its point contradicted.
Would she start avoiding me?Luckily, at least she made friends and hung out with her senpais, she should have someone to turn to. Yes— that's the most important. Even if she wouldn't see me again, she had grown— she was strong and independent, she would be fine.
With a heavy sigh, I put myself to sleep, hoping the girl would be fine soon.
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"Good morning, Sensei."
"..."
I blinked in surprise, pinching my cheek to check if I had truly woken up.
The morning sunlight streamed through the windows, casting a warm, golden glow across the room. Her blonde, golden hair swayed in the wind as beautiful as ever. My heart skipped a beat when I saw her— the one I expected the least, standing there.
She looked different— not in her appearance but in her presence. In her usual student uniform— unlike the fragile girl yesterday, she held her head high, her sharp blue eyes burned with determination.
"I thought about everything last night."
I opened my mouth to speak, but the intensity of her gaze silenced me.
"You said you wanted to wait because you thought I wasn't ready," she continued, standing across from me "That I was rushing. That you didn't want me to regret anything."
I swallowed a nervous gulp, unsure of where she was going.
"I will do as you said— I will let time prove my feelings."
"But at the same time, I will win over your heart."
"Yesterday, your heart beat for me. You rejected me— but you lied to yourself."
Like a miracle, as if the atmosphere changes... the sunlight brightly lit the room, a gentle breeze brushed strands of her hair. The wind swirled gently around us, carrying the weight of her confession like a melody. With an unwavering voice, she continued.
"You denied your own feelings."
"Thus, it falls to me, the best agent's job, to take care of the resisting suspect."
For a moment, the world seemed to hold its breath as we looked at each other. In her bright azure eyes, I only saw a reflected image of myself.
"I don't care how long it takes."
"Even if you push me away, even if you need time, I'll wait— I'll keep trying, because I know now that I love you."
"Sensei, Prepare yourself—"
"..."
"I will make you love me."
And like that, the stubborn girl lived with me since then.
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FIN.
Author's notes
And that's it! The end of our first side story! Feel free to comment whether you like it or not. I really had fun writing this story, I have to admit it's kinda hard to portray Toki's personality (we've never seen her 'romantic' side and she was emotionless most of the time. Plus, because love is a serious matter, I can't even use her sulking mode like when she realized students gifted Sensei tea either.) Yeah, I do hope you all like my interpretation of her here.
See you in the next main story chapter! After the end of the fist volume, the next side story will come next.
