"Alright guys. Let's get this meeting started."
America's flat voice was a stark contrast to his usual cheery disposition. His fatigued, gray body slumped over the pulpit in the center of the hall. Every country was handling the pandemic differently, and just by looking around the room, it was clear who was having a hard time. Out of the great eight, Alfred seemed to be handling the devastation the worst. His skin had lost its youthful glow, his hair flat and thin, a rasp in his voice. The attentive observer would note Alfred's clothes were slightly too big. Despite Alfred's exhausted appearance, he was doing his best to keep his composure.
"I want to start by welcoming everyone to our first world meeting of 2021 and our first world meeting in a year. It's good to be back in this room and see everyone's faces" Alfred looked around at all the exhausted faces that mirrored his own. No one was happy to be there. He cleared his throat after dropping his pathetic smile. "As uh… you all know, we had an international tragedy occur last month. In observance of this tragedy," Alfred's sorrowful eyes darted to the two empty seats the Beilschmidt brothers normally occupied, "a decision has been made to temporarily allow the absence of Ludwig from these meetings without prior notice. All international affairs will be handed by a tempo-"
The loud creaking of heavy oak interrupted Alfred's announcement. All tired eyes slung to the east doorway entrance where a disheveled German stood in its frame.
Alfred blinked the surprise away before awkwardly continuing"...by a… temporary appointed ambassador…" His train of thought disintegrated as he stared at Germany.
America was not the only nation shocked by Ludwig's late arrival. Solemn eyes analyzed the Germans appearance, unable to look away. To say Ludwig looked like shit was an understatement. The man's body caved in on itself, shoulders hung deep in skin was dull and a dark cloud of heavy mass followed him. Those that he passed felt the density of the cloud and their eyes cracked under the weight of it. It was as if Germany himself had one foot resting in the grave. Members of the hall looked down in shame. The sorrow was so heavy it felt like they were the ones who lost the most important person in their life.
Every one of ludwigs steps echoed in the silent hall. It was unusual for him to be here. It was unusual in the sense that Ludwig was never late. In fact, he was almost always early to these meetings. If not early, precisely on time. Not late. And never while someone was talking. The German himself hated being interrupted. So to do the same was almost unthinkable to anyone in the room. But those were not the real reasons why it was unusual. His presence was unusual because although his body was fatigued, he was acting as if nothing had happened.
Ludwig carefully placed two packets of paper down - one on his desk and one on his brothers. He was not at all bothered by the fact that he was late, not even taking a moment to excuse himself.
America cleared his throat to resume the announcements. "Well it appears that Ludwig has joined us, so please disregard the previous announcement. Welcome Ludwig. We were just getting started." Frail fingers adjusted his shirt collar. "As you may have noticed, a few of our members are missing. Pandemic precautions have been considered for these absences and these members are attending from home. Those who are otherwise not accounted for have been contacted by myself and a few of the UN staff. So, that being said, I like to turn our time over to the elected officials of the United Nations for international briefings and crisis response plans for the pandemic." Alfred gracelessly shuffled his papers and bowed his head, leaving the podium to take his seat next to Francis.
"He looks like shit" France leaned over to whisper just as the woman started her brief.
"We all do, Francis."
"I'm being serious. Look at him." Francis gestured with his head to Ludwig, who was sitting two rows in front of them. "I'm worried. Really worried."
Alfred's hand wiped his face in frustration and exhaustion. "Francis, listen. I know. He's dealing with a lot right now, I'm dealing with a lot right now, you're dealing with a lot right now. I don't see how pointing it out is helpful."
Impatience beat at France as he grasped onto the younger man's wrist, desperation bubbling out "Alfred, look at me. Something is wrong."
Alfred's eyes glazed over to Francis'. Dark clouds of worry and terror were behind them. It almost startled the young American.
"England is missing."
"What."
"He's missing Alfred. And I can't help but feel like it has something to do with Prussia's passing."
"That's insane, why would you think that?" Alfred whispered as he shook the Frenchman's hand off his arm. He didn't want to have this conversation. He didn't want to think about England missing. He didn't want to think about his best friend dying. He didn't want to think about any of it. There is only so much tragedy one can take, and with his own country's turmoil, he just didn't think he could handle any more news.
France's hushed whispers were rushed and demanding. "The last I heard from him was almost a month ago, about two-ish weeks after the funeral. I was talking about how I was worried about Ludwig and how I was having a hard time visiting him. Suddenly Arthur was invested in what I was saying. Asking weird questions, then a migraine hit him and he asked me to leave. It wasn't like him."
"I'm sure he's fine" Alfred dismissed with a huff "He's a weird old man. He likes to disappear sometimes."
"It's been almost a month, Alfred. Zero contact. No texts. No letting me know where he went. His house is locked, but his car is there? I just feel like it's wrong."
America shook his head in disagreement. " I think you're paranoid, Francis. Besides, why would any of this be connected to Ludwig and Gilbert?" Ah… it hurt to say Prussia's name out loud. Alfred pressed forward. "He didn't show up to the funeral. I don't even think he cares about those two anyway. Like…honestly Francis? Why would Ludwig be involved in this?" The last few words were bitter.
"I don't know Alfred. Maybe Arthur felt bad or something. Or was worried about Ludwig and maybe went to help. I don't know." There was a shrillness that was starting to bubble out of France's panicked whispers and it was starting to stress Alfred out. His eyes nervously darted to the German in front of them, who was steadily taking notes as if nothing had happened.
"Have you asked Ludwig if he's seen Arthur?" Alfred didn't know how much of France he believed, but he couldn't help the tugging feeling that maybe something was off. Arthur hadn't responded to any of the American's emails. No response with texts either. But both of those were dismissable. The two weren't exactly on a talking basis anymore, not to mention, Arthur had blocked Alfred's personal number from calling years ago. America hadn't thought anything about it… until now. Looking back over to England's empty seat started to make Alfred uneasy. Suddenly, England's lack of correspondence felt a lot more disturbing. Oh god, it was making his head hurt.
Francis let out a defeated sign "I've been trying but Ludwig has gotten very good at isolating himself this last month and well...his country has been dealing with a lot of shit lately. I've been trying to get him to talk to me but he's just answering."
"Dude, his brother just died, of course he's going through shit." Alfred gave his head another shake. "Listen, I think your heart is in the right place. But bothering Ludwig about England is inappropriate. Does the guy need help? Yes. We both recognize that, but he's going through a mourning process and he's not going to do anything until he's ready. Bothering him about Arthur is just disrespectful. You can ask other countries but I think you need to leave Ludwig alone." Alfred was desperate to end the conversation and write Arthur's disappearance off as just a coincidence.
Francis scoffed in frustration before turning away to play with his pen and half-ass his notes.
Thank god. But Alfred's relief was short lived as he nervously eyed Ludwig and Francis. The amount of worry France was expressing was borderline panic. Granted, the man had been known to be rather dramatic. Maybe a letter had just been lost in the mail or Arthur had dropped his phone while traveling or maybe he just went on a seclusive vacation. He had, after all, become quite the hermit in the last ten years. But then again, America had never seen such darkness behind Fracis' eyes.
The American's eyes glazed over the room to look at the other countries instead of paying attention. There were so many empty seats in the meeting room. The hall sat 250 people total, with 195 seats reserved for officially recognized countries, the rest of the seats for provinces, north and south divisions, and independent states, but only 90 of those seats had faces behind them. Most of those who were absent just never showed up to these things anyway. Many nations didn't care too much for international affairs, while other nations are barred from attendance by outward oppressive rule. Some are absent because they simply don't have the resources to attend. But these normal absences did not excuse the fact that a few key nations in the UN were missing. England was not there, Austria was absent, and every member of the Nordic five were missing.
Alfred was hoping Ireland would be here to provide some answers, but Ireland never showed up to these things. In fact, now that he thought about it, none of the Celtics cared to make appearances at these things. America speculated this was because of the celtic's strained relationships, but he had never asked England about it. Even if Ireland or Scotland were here, it probably wouldn't make a difference. The brothers hardly spoke to each other unless one needed a favor.
To be honest, it was really hard for Alfred to be here with everyone again. He hadn't seen them since last month at the funeral, and having to handle the death of his best friend by himself was hard alongside the pandemic. He was really hoping that he'd see some of his other friends, like Japan and Denmark, but they were not here. He gave up looking around and rested his eyes on Ludwig.
How was Ludwig handling this so well, yet at the same time, not handling this well at all? Alfred felt his heart reach out to Ludwig in sympathy and pity. Not only had the pandemic wiped the country out, but Alfred had heard news about body robbing in the country. Apparently fresh corpses were going missing at morgues. It wasn't a lot of bodies, just four, but they were all at different morgues. There are speculations that the bodies are being harvested for organs on the black market, but police can't find a lead, so that's all it is - speculation. By now, the nation has expected law enforcement to find at least one corpse, but not a single trace has been left. It's a mystery. And that type of crime during a time of international tragedy? Alfred shook his head. It's hard on a country. God knows his own death tolls were dragging the life out of him. Then to imagine, on top of corpse robbing, Germany's dog dying? It's tragic. The guy just couldn't catch a break. And here he was, getting up and going to an international meeting. And taking notes. And asking questions. Like none of this happened? It was unbelievable but at the same time, intensely heartbreaking to watch the German pretend he was not struggling.
...
It was important for Ludwig to show up to this meeting. It was imperative that he proceed with his life, business as usual, so he could avoid suspicion from other countries. Not that he did anything bad. Because as far as Ludwig was concerned, everything he had done, and is doing, is for the benefit of his brother and for the benefit of his nation. But Ludwig had seen how some of the attending nations eyed him. And he wasn't deaf to the whisperings going on behind him. England was missing. It was fact. And Arthur's name had made hushed rounds.
It felt as if holes were being burned into Ludwigs back by the stares of others; however, there was one set of eyes that were particularly uncomfortable.
Ivan's cold stare was hard to mistake.
It started when Germany had entered the room. He felt the icy chill pierce his bones the moment he walked it. He wanted to dismiss it, but when Ludwig went to take his seat, he noticed that Russia moved from his assigned spot to sit closer. Every once and a while, throughout the meeting, Ludwig would sneak a peek at the towering Russian, and every glance made him more and more uneasy. Ivans body was hovering over his desk, ears perked and praying on the gossip from Francis and Alfred.
Ludwig knew the two of them were staring at him as well, talking about England, but he wasn't worried about those two. They're bumbling idiots at best. But Ivan? Ivan's stare was different. It was invasive, interrogating, uneasy. It made Ludwig anxious. Did Ivan know something that the others didn't? Know something that he didn't?
Ludwig wanted to squirm under the weight, but he had to keep it cool, act like he couldn't hear, couldn't see. The less out of character he was, the better. The less he had to speak, the better.
It was a relief when intermission was called.
The German's cold hands slowly and carefully stacked his pages together in familiar patterns before sliding them into brown folders. Prussia's paperwork was short to follow. Even though Germany knew that Gilbert was home, it was soothing to keep his brother's seat occupied. Rough fingers sifted through his brother's papers, eyes lingering on Gilbert's scrawny handwriting. He felt his heart warm with the familiar penmanship and pressed the papers against his chest, closing his eyes and thinking about how very soon, Gilbert will be ready to come back to these meetings. It made Ludwig happy as a small smile grew across his lips.
Gingerly tucking the folders under his arm, Ludwig bent down to get his bag. As he got back up, his shoulder collided with Ivan, causing Germany's warmth to instantly vanish and be immediately replaced by anxiety.
"Mein Gott!" Germany sputtered in panicked surprise. He had been too distracted by his brother's things to notice the ice giant.
Ivan loomed over him with his familiar pained smile, "It's good to see you Ludwig."
"Mhm. You too." Germany puffed as he tried to reclaim his emotions. It was in fact not good to see Ivan. It was awful to see him and Ludwig wanted to escape his cold stare. Ludwig bowed his head and tried to shove past the taller nation, but was blocked by Ivans chest.
"I honestly wasn't expecting you to come today."
Germany murmured a curse in frustration and looked up at Ivan. "Can I help you?" He tapped his foot with agitation and looked over Russia's shoulder towards the door. A few nations had turned back to look at the two of them and that made Ludwig all the more anxious to leave.
Ivan gave a small nod. "You can actually. There were a lot of missing faces today at the meeting." With each word, Ivan leaned in closer into Germany's ear. "Surely you noticed."
The air between the two became colder as Ivan drew closer, causing the hair on Ludwigs neck to stand on end. His muscles stiffened from the tension, "It's a pandemic Ivan."
"Mmm, yes." The Russian's words were slow but precise, "But we both know that's not what I'm talking about."
Ivan's figure was caving in on Ludwig. Shoulders curved around the German as Ivan's head blocked the light of the room. Suddenly, it was just the two of them in a dark corner with nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. All Germany could see were Ivan's piercing purple eyes.
It was easy to feel like prey in the palm of Ivans hand. Ludwig needed to be quick and clever in order to escape the situation. Taking a deep breath, Ludwig straightened his posture to regain control over their exchange. As he met the eyes of the russian with his own, the darkness started to fade. Luckily, Ludwig had gotten good at lying in the last month.
"If you are trying to ask me where Denmark is, I can assure you Ivan, the man has not talked to me in over a month. I haven't heard a word from him or any of the other nordics. So if you'd excuse me-" Ludwig tried to push past Ivan again, but was once again blocked.
"I don't believe I stuttered Ivan,' Ludwig spat, planting his feet firmly into the ground.
Ivan met Germany's deathly stare with his own. "Neither did I. I'll be frank. What happened to England?"
"Ask someone else."
Ivan's eyes squeezed shut in a threatening smile. "You don't want to talk then, huh?"
Germany could tell that Russia was getting increasingly irritated with him, but Ludwig stood his ground. Nations like Russia were too dangerous to entertain.
"Ivan. I've been dealing with tragedy at home. I've got too many crises on my hands to worry about what another country is doing. Go bother France. I'm done." Satisfied with this remark, Germany forcefully shoved his way past Ivan, causing the taller man to bump into the desks on his side.
Ludwig heaved a sigh of relief the moment he left the hall, heart pounding out his chest. Thank fucking god he got out of that room and out of that meeting.
"Hey man, you doing okay?"
Ludwig jumped at America's hand clasping his shoulder from behind. He blinked the surprise from his eyes and brushed the hand away. "Yes. I'm fine Alfred. Thank you" He tried to walk away from the nation, but Alfred quickly followed.
"I noticed Ivan was giving you a bit of a rough time back there."
"It's nothing to worry about." Ludwig kept his head straight as he walked forward.
"Alright man, but if he gives you any problems, you just let me know."
Germany pinched the bridge of his nose in silent response.
Oh my god. Just SHUT THE FUCK UP.
"Anyway" America looked over at ludwigs face "You doing okay? You kinda look like shit bro."
"I'm fine, I promise."
"Yeah well, I just feel like you're lying to me."
Germany abruptly stopped and spun on his heels to face America, causing Alfred to stumble back. "I am fine Alfred. Yes I'm aware I have a lot going on. Yes I'm aware I look like shit. Yes, I'm aware there are a few crises in my country right now. No, I don't want your sympathy. Or for you to point it out, or for you to follow me around. Please Alfred."
America froze in shock from the Germans response, slightly hurt with how aggressive the nation lashed out. "I'm sorry Ludwig." He took a step backwards from the man, eyes darting down, "Just worried about you is all." The American shook his head and turned around, mumbling, "I'll see you later then."
Thank fucking god. Ludwig remembered why he hated world meetings. No one would shut up and no one would stay in their own business. He rubbed his temples as he walked down the hall toward the outdoor gardens. Even at the most somber meeting in the last half century, everyone was still set on bothering him. It was causing a headache.
Ludwig gave it some thought while he took a small walk through white lilies. He quite honestly did not want to be there anymore. His head was starting to pound against his skull. It was exhausting being here, and everyone was stressing him out. Maybe he should just take advantage of having a stand-in ambassador. Besides, it was Prussia's lunch time. It was best not to keep his brother waiting.
A/N Don't worry! I didn't forget about you guys and this story! Its been a wild year and a half since I last posted. I had surgery, graduated, got a degree, moved out, and started a full time job. . Anyway, that being said, I am floored by how many of you have been reading this fic and loving it. The comments are so encouraging and it makes me so happy to see so many people engrossed with my story. That being said, there is more to come! Things just might be a little slow. Thank you all so much for sticking with me.
