Once again, you find yourself lying awake, searching your ceiling for answers it's incapable of giving. You left Kabukicho that night in a daze, stumbling on and off the train home thinking of little else but the memory of Gin kneeling over you with that deranged look in his eyes.
Your fingers unconsciously find their way to your neck, brushing the spot where Gin had his hands just hours before. Did he leave a bruise? You haven't checked. That'd be awfully hard to explain to Dad.
A rattling sigh escapes into the stillness. Where do you even go from here? The enemy – the real enemy – is still out there somewhere, but at this point, you're not even sure who to consider your allies anymore. It's not like you can just call a meeting and pretend like nothing happened.
Idly, you open up your contacts. Maybe someone else would know what to do.
Mariko? You're sure she'd have some good advice, but she'd also probably ask you about your visions. Frankly, what you saw back there isn't something you want to share. Not now, at least.
How about Koharu? She's probably the sort of person that lets all of her calls go to voicemail, but she's always real blunt and matter-of-fact. She'd at least give you an honest opinion. It's worth a try.
Koharu picks up after the third dial tone, which is admittedly sooner than you'd expected.
"…Hey? Hello? Who's…"
There's a pause, presumably as she checks the caller ID.
"…Oh. It's you. Sorry, I was just about to fall asleep. Hey, are…are you okay?"
"Not an easy question. Physically, yeah, I guess."
"Well, that's a relief. The way you just walked off after all of that was pretty weird. I mean, not that I don't get it or anything, but-" she lets out a frustrated huff – "What was the matter with him? Like it was your fault there's another wacko to deal with."
"What do you think we should do? Gin's been getting more and more hostile, and I don't know if I believe Yoko's excuses anymore."
"Yeah, what'd she say? 'Stress?' We're all stressed. Stress doesn't make someone do that."
She pauses. "Anyways, I'm like, the last person I'd ask for advice on something like this. But personally, I wouldn't want the guy anywhere near me."
"Yeah. But, on the other hand, you could feel how strong that Persona was, right? Do you think we could beat it without Nightmare's help?"
"I'll be honest, I haven't even started thinking about that. This stuff has always been way too far over my head. But if you want a real answer, I guess I'd say it all comes down to trust.
"Trusting people to begin with is so hard. And it's a lot harder to convince yourself to trust someone that's hurt you, especially if they don't know what they've done wrong."
"Is this about something else?" you venture.
"Uhh, no?" she answers, more than a little defensively. "This is relevant, I promise. I mean, you wanted my opinion, so you're getting my opinion. At any rate, that kind of trust isn't just going to rebuild itself overnight. Sure, we're up against some god-awful monster with last boss energy, but unless Gin has one hell of an apology up his sleeve, I'd say he's just going to do more harm than good right now. We could still bring the others, though. Even though she's been covering for him, Yoko herself seems alright, and I know you trust Rin."
"What d'you mean by th-" you start, but Koharu cuts you off.
"Are you serious? C'mon, this is insulting."
"Y-Yeah, I don't know what you mean, but okay," you stammer, eager to not be talking about this. "Do you think they'll agree to leave Gin behind?"
"I have no clue; I'm not a mind reader. For what it's worth, I'd ask someone else for a second opinion. Maybe Shibutani. Don't decide what to do just based on my stupid advice."
"Don't say that. It didn't sound stupid to me."
Koharu lets out a satisfied sniff. "Hm. I guess it is nice to have someone ask my opinion for once. Try to take it easy, okay, Tetsuo?"
"I'll try. 'Night."
Taking her advice, you pull up Shibutani's number to see what he thinks. If there's anyone who would know the right thing to do, it'd be him. The dial tone barely finishes ringing before he picks up.
"Tetsuo! I'm glad you called. Truth be told, I was contemplating doing the same. I regret not seeing you home safely."
"It's okay, senpai. I'm fine. Er, mostly."
You tell him about your conversation with Koharu, and ask for his opinion on the situation.
"Hmm," he muses aloud, "Shimizu-kun's feelings are understandable. It would be safest to keep him at arm's length."
"I get the feeling there's a 'however' attached to this,"
Shibutani chuckles dryly. "So there is. Although his behavior was bizarre and deeply troubling, I still think we ought to give him the benefit of the doubt."
"Senpai…I trust you and all, but…you saw what happened. I don't know that I can just let that go."
"And you shouldn't. But consider this. Although his personality has been, to put it charitably, 'aloof,' thus far, he has also been an invaluable ally, and has put his life on the line the same as you and I. Some impulse must have taken ahold of his mind, and I'm inclined to believe Tanaka-san when she says that he's unwell."
"I get it, but if he's not in his right mind, we can't just let him back onto the team like that."
"Oh, certainly not. The next time we meet, he will need to answer for his actions before we can consider letting him rejoin. Hopefully, he'll have come to his senses by then."
"Yeah…hopefully…you sure that's the right thing to do, senpai?"
There's a pause on the other end of the line before Shibutani responds.
"I do think it would be unwise to deny him the opportunity to explain himself. But ultimately, the decision is up to you. No matter what, I will always trust your judgment, Tetsuo. Do whatever you believe will allow us to be successful."
"Thanks, senpai. I think I needed to hear that."
After hanging up, you lay there for a while weighing Koharu and Shibutani's advice. You really wish they hadn't said almost completely opposite things. It's getting truly late now, and your eyelids are finally beginning to droop, but you still want to make one more call to help you with your decision.
Like Shibutani, Hayate also answers quickly.
"Hey, I was wondering when I'd hear from you. Everything alright?" he says.
"Basically," you reply, starting to get tired of the question. "Been asking the others what we should do about Gin."
"You oughta deck 'im, that's what. Although…I guess Rin already took care of that, huh? So what do they think?"
"Kind of a split decision between ditching him and letting him apologize. I was hoping you'd help me tiebreak."
Hayate exhales sharply. "You're gonna put that on me? I dunno, man. He's definitely got some questions to answer, that's for sure. Whether or not he'll even tell the truth is another story."
Something about the way Hayate says that piques your interest.
"You think he's hiding something, too?"
"About that - when I got back, I started thinking about that weird stuff he was saying. You know, about letting him 'go home' and all. I couldn't make heads or tails of it – I mean, he's probably home now, isn't he? But I did remember something else.
"At first, I didn't think it was anything worth mentioning, but you know his little drone thing? I was watching him fiddle with it a bit before we entered the Cloud, and I noticed the letters 'M.E.X.T.' stamped right below the propellers. The thing's usually zipping around all over the place, so it'd be damn near impossible to spot regularly. Anyways, I looked it up online, and you wanna know what it means? 'Ministry of Education, Culture, Sports, Science, and Technology.' He's runnin' around with government shit."
A quick search yourself confirms what Hayate told you, although you don't have the slightest idea what to make of it. Doesn't have much to do with sports, at least.
"What're you thinking, that he's some secret government agent?"
"Would that be even close to the weirdest thing that's happened so far? Think about it – we're basically invading people's dreams, getting into their minds. You think the government wouldn't be interested in that?"
You get what Hayate's saying, but at the same time, you have a hard time imagining someone like Gin working for the government. Or the other two, for that matter.
"I dunno, seems a little farfetched. The education department's part of that ministry as well, right? Gin's part of the robotics club; wouldn't it make more sense if the parts for the drone came from a grant or something?"
"Well, I guess, but what about the 'going home' stuff? What if he's got, like, M.I.B. pressuring him into investigating the Clouds? Maybe that's what has him all spazzed out."
"But why would a government agency trust something like this to kids, anyways? You'd think they would take it more seriously. I get where you're coming from – he's being suspicious, but this might be too much. I mean, c'mon man - M.I.B.?"
Hayate breathes a resigned sigh. "Okay, okay! When you put it that way, I guess I might've been getting ahead of myself. It just…pisses me off, y'know? I thought we had put together something special, but here we are, givin' each other side-eyes at the very end. Puts a bad taste in my mouth."
"I know, man. I hate it, too. But maybe what we need right now is to just take a few days off to get our minds right. Then we can get back together and iron this out," you say, hoping that just saying it aloud will make it happen.
Hayate scoffs. "I think it'd take more than a couple days to get that guy to pull his head out of his ass…but I hope so, too. I'm gonna go to bed. G'night, man."
After you put your phone on its charger for the night, you flip over onto your side and allow yourself a few deep breaths. You're still not entirely sure how you feel about the situation with Gin, but just talking about it has put you a little more at ease. As you bring the cool side of your pillow up against your face, your exhaustion overcomes your worries and you slip into a deep sleep…
• • • • •
You regain consciousness in the Velvet Room under the watchful eyes of Minato and Elizabeth. Perhaps it's merely a result of your sleep-addled state, but as you stagger to your feet and rub the blear from your eyes, you sense them regarding you with caution.
"You've returned, honored guest, and not a moment too soon. You have arrived at a most critical point, and it is almost certain that the Enemy shall soon reveal their hand."
Elizabeth crosses and uncrosses her legs before getting up and walking over to curtains to stare out at the prow of the ship. While she seems unusually restless, Minato continues to stare at you, unblinking. He's like a zombie, the way he sits there so still, with a gaze that pierces all the way through your soul. It's like every time you visit the Velvet Room, he becomes more and more lifeless.
"I think they have already," you say. "There's another Persona user, stronger than any of us. Not sure how we're supposed to fight it, though. Not when we're busy fighting ourselves."
Elizabeth cocks her head back in your direction.
"There are many pieces at play in this game, that much is true. The Enemy delights in obscuring itself, in blurring the lines between friend and foe. You would do well to strengthen your resolve, and place your faith in the power of the bonds you have created. No matter what, you must not allow doubt to take hold in your heart. The moment you do, all hope is truly lost."
"I do trust my friends. Well, most of them. I just can't shake the feeling that some of them don't exactly trust me."
Including you, you think to yourself.
Elizabeth crosses the room, and places a hand on yours. There's no warmth to it, but the intent behind the gesture is obvious enough.
"Do not despair," she says, fixing you with a stare that's both pleading and determined. "It is the strength of your will that holds your world together, that grants you the power to fight back. Show your allies that strength, and they will respond in turn. As much as you need them, they also need you. And although you may not believe so, we are relying on you as well."
She turns to Minato as she says this, who gives you the smallest of nods in acknowledgement.
"…And what happens if I disappoint you?"
"Worry not, honored guest. Our purpose is neither to judge nor appraise your performance, but merely to guide and to serve. To that end, allow us to assist you in whatever preparations you need to make before this tale reaches its conclusion."
You close your eyes and attempt to pull yourself together. Elizabeth is right. There's no room for faltering. This is your one chance to be something more than an afterthought, to do something with meaning, with purpose. With everything that's happened recently, you'd almost forgotten what that felt like, back in the beginning when you first awakened. If you can't summon the conviction to pull everyone together now, then what was this all for?
"Right then," you say, finally. "Let's get to work."
• • • • •
Once your business with Elizabeth and Minato is finished, you awaken with a start. Your room is still pitch-black, and the display on your phone informs you that it's only a little past two in the morning. Although the darkness makes it difficult to discern anything, your sixth sense makes it immediately clear that there is something else in the room with you. The flesh on the back of your neck tingles as your eyes slowly adjust to the light, just enough to make out a figure crouching next to your bed.
"What the hell-" you gasp, and scramble for the light switch. Light floods the room, illuminating the intruder.
Your mother doesn't even move to cover her eyes. She merely sways on the spot with her hands clasped around her knees, hunched over like a gargoyle, her expression just as blank and impassive.
"M-Mom? What's going on? Are you okay?"
At first, she doesn't answer, and you wonder if perhaps she hadn't heard you. But then, she slowly lifts her head to look you in the eyes. A broken smile plays across her lips.
"It's me, Tetsuo."
Her tone is so alien and disturbed that you can't help but inch back towards the other side of your bed.
"Y-Yeah, I…I know. Is this about work? Do you need to talk about it?"
Her stare passes right through you.
"I'm a murderer."
"What?! You mean your client, right?"
She giggles, and you struggle to resist the urge to flee.
"No, me. I hid it the whole time. I helped…"
Suddenly, she lunges forward and seizes you by the shoulders.
"Don't you remember, Tetsuo?! How long can we pretend? How long can we run?" she shrieks, her voice trembling with hysteria.
"Whoa, hey! Stop! Mom, stop! D-Dad! Dad, get in here!" you shout.
He bursts in right away, still groggy with sleep, desperately trying to comprehend the scene before him. Once he sees your mother's state, he leaps into action, hooking his arms under hers and pulling her upright. He pulls her into a tight hug and whispers calming words into her ear, which has an immediate effect. Her quaking limbs go slack, and the frenzy starts to fade from her eyes.
He looks over her shoulder at you and asks if you're alright.
Not wanting to distress him further, you lie. "I'm fine."
"That's good," he says, breathing a sigh of relief. "I should've known something was up when she didn't come home by midnight… For now, I'll take her downstairs, maybe see if a drink'll help bring her around."
Gently, he lets go of her and waves her out of the room. Before he can follow her out, you stop him in the doorway.
"Hold on! Is that really gonna help? She's not okay, Dad – something's really messing with her head. Don't you think she should see someone or something?"
Dad regards you with a sad smile and shakes his head.
"I don't think we're gonna find anyone who'll help at two in the morning. For now, I just wanna get her to finish calming down, maybe convince her to take a few days off that damn case. Just leave everything to me, Tetsuo. That's what I'm here for, right?"
"Yeah, sure…"
He flicks off the light as he leaves, and you collapse back into bed. You knew Mom was struggling, but you never thought you'd see it get this bad. If this keeps up, would she…?
"I won't let that happen," you say to no one in particular, an affirmation only you need to hear. Your eyelids droop, and you slip back into fitful slumber.
In the corner of your room, perched near the ceiling, a black butterfly unfolds its wings and flutters out the door.
