The egg started hatching, surprisingly, I'd only taken a good 6-9 licks before I got any satisfaction. The egg bloated, and had a bright glow too it. a VERY bright light, because apparently hatching via shell cracking is just too old fashioned; I didn't really mind since I was too tired to comprehend much.
just as this happened. We heard rustling in the bushes that peeked at both of our interests. to try and find peace in this god forsaken jungle, we made a huge leap in judgment and assumed it was a strong pokemon.
" Berry! you keep the egg the same luv, your little gumdrop will protect you since you're so useless!"
"sunny, sunny, ill gick a girl in the balls, what else could you possibly want from me! i think I'm pretty strong."
the eggs hatching was almost complete
"ahhh, blue, Blue,BLUE? the pokemon hatching is blue sunny… IS THAT GOOD? is it a water type? aren't you a water type?"
"BERRY SHATUP I'M TRYING TO PROTECT YOU"
through the arguing, the world stood still for a few seconds… the pokemon was finally showing itself when we both hear rustling in the bushes. The fact is, I've been scared pee less for the last three hours, I was kinda tweaking and sunny was shaking too. The baby pokemon coo-d, but we both stared at the bushes, a powerful presence making itself known.
-hi, i'm the author… ive written myself into a corner here! i have absolutely no idea what the hells about to come out of these bushes, so i'm going to introduce a nice deus ex machina to get the story going!
I was freaking out because sunny was yelling at me, and I felt like something needed to happen or we would both immediately die a very painful and gruesome death, so I reached in my pocket to gain access to one of my rusty trusty pop tarts for a nice last meal.
The sun was visibly shaking, as the rustling was getting louder and louder!
sunny approached, and pulled out sentret. Maybe we'd have a fighting chance, i don't know what up, but this forest shouldnt have final evolutions lingering around in the back alleys of it.
"sunny sunny has anyone been catching fina evolutions around here like… normally?"
"berry I- OH SENTRET USE SURF!"
just as she said that, a sharp green nose poked out the bush, about the size of my head, the pokemon lowered its chin at me, specifically to knock me on my fucking forehead!
sunny took action, the first surf was so unaffected the story didn't even acknowledge it! but maybe this time..
The pokemon was long, green like a giant snake, and looked like it had gone through hell!The pokemon hadn't made a real attack yet either.
she was hitting it with surf after annoying surf.. and at my wits end, my head spinning and spinning, i reached for my final pop tart thinking i was dead. honestly i hoped id be, have you every heard of a pokemon so strong, it take a master level trainer to beat it? yeah well, those pokemon tend to leave people looking like piles of ash.
i fiddled with my pocket, it was deep, no pop tarts…
sunny looked at me in confusion,"BERRY RUN! YOU HAVE TOO I LOVE YOU MY LUV"
"your only like eleven leave me alone WENCH"... i honestly didn't know how to put it, but i really was gonna miss her if i died.
"SUNNY YOU DUMBASS," it really irked me how she was ready to throw herself under the bus for me, why cant we both run?
my pocket got deep, i put my hand up to my wrist into the damn thing to no avail. this chapter is so fucking slow… i kept going, not realizing i was elbow deep in cargo swim shorts.
"BERRY,i- i scanned the pokemon! its a rayquaza! a FUCKING LEGENDARY?
okay okay, we need to run!
damn near balls deep in my own pocket. i finally felt something, in the dense endless darkness that was my pocket. it felt like it was being handed to me by a force greater than the words on this page!
i grabbed it, and yanked it out!
A KNOIFE?
"berry, is that…" sunny looked passed the ignored and agitated rayquaza " IS THAT A PRISON SHANKER 9000?"
i held it up high, and just as i did, it turned on by its own accord. the machine had a name too, the machina auto-stabber, the handle had a label on it too-
the rayquaza roared, and its long body shot up to the sky, knowing it felt challenged by the auto stabber 9000, i took stance, all my non training was being put to use! Time to put my hands to my mouth! theres no way ill miss this!
withought hesitation- frppptpfpffeeeststtbtbtbbbttppbpbpbpbpbpdppbpbpbpb
now, i tried to find the spelling for a fart sound on com but honestly the fart was enough! i distracted it with a fart sound and the pokemon shot missed but just enough of an incriment to not connect!
at this point, we had watched as a pokemon egg hatched, a legendary popped out the bushes, and my infinite pocket gave my an unlimited stab knife! but next…
chapter 30, RAIN DANCE
i chicken the magic blade-
The rayquaza pulled back as the knife connected with its thick outer shell, and without warning, started stabbing the hell out of rayquaza! the knife had a shiny rainbow blade, a white and black marbleminish on the handle, and because i'm smart as fuck, i ripped off the label and it said-
this is the deus ex machina knife- pull it out and you'll have one opportunity to defeat any opponent you choose, near death by stabbing, the knife will always commit to whoever you throw it at until it is destroyed!
choking hazard, not for children under 11. don't give to beryl emerald vixen the third as he will abuse it.
what was that last part?
the pokemon went flying up to the heaven as it swirled in a beautiful spiral pillar of blood and angst, screaming and roaring, we had truly bested the pokemon at its own game. only a legendary blade can stop a legendary.
the pokemon flew high, it looked like it was dancing from our position in the forest.
i looked at my feet as blood rained down from the sky, there was a small pokemon, a blue little toad duck thing with a lillypad on its head, i'd totally forgotten that we hatched that.
as the blood splattered down fro the heaven, the pokemon started to glow, unknown to me as to why.
"berry! the pokemon… its evolving? hmm"
as it changed sunny told me something very interesting about pokemon grinding.
even a little hatching,if exposed to a battle at all, will gain experience, and since we just beat a legendary… the baby was already about to evolve! i swear it gained 110882xp! like a hundered thousand or so experiece! this thig was leveling up FASt
It took a few minutes, the blood rain had stopped and the rayquaza was nowhere to be seen.
the newly hatched pokemon, what was previously a lotad, evolved into lombre!
berry, why the fuck did you steal this egg, what the hell man?
honestly, no response. "because i was fucking HUNGRY"
'ohhh fuuuck YOu berry. i thought we weren't going to resort to EATING POKEMON"
sunny, sunny, you may think of it as a last resort, but back in sinnoh it was either rotting berries or rotting carcasses! i couldn't pass up on a good meal!"
the lobvre looked at us in astonishment. a hatchling in the body of a teenager. it had gained a good 27 levels and already knew some good moves!
while be and sunny argued, it started dancing, and both of us were left dumbfounded. blood was everywhere and the smell was getting to us, iron, i didn't know rayquaza was an iron type?
"berry,, was home really that bad in sinnoh? do you really have to, well.. I don't know, do everything you do?'
"Sunny, we didn't HAVE a home… my mom dragged me sideways through sinnoh because i needed to run from the law and her man leaving her made her have a midlife crisis that left her wanting to be a pokemon master!"
"tmi, berry"
"not if you want to marry me"
The pokemon kept dancing, and I felt a little drop of water hit my forehead. I looked up as great clouds formed in the sky. I sighed.
"i don't want to be a scavenger but i just am sunny, i'm sorry…" i really just felt bad for hassling her, it is probably annoying, dealing with me..
i looked up to make her feel better, and tried to remember some of what we talked about a chapter ago, with me dealing with my past. i didn't think it was much of a big deal but…
"sniffle"
hmm? i looked up,
she was crying, really crying..
sunny what's wrong with sunny weather? i'm sorry..
"berry.. i really-"
she started bawling as more rain started falling from the sky…
"i really love pokemon! i really love you! and- and- sniffle"
" wait- i really wont eat… well i kinda did want to but… i really don't want to eat pokemon,i just had to resort to it alot back then, to live, y'know?"
sunny was crying every more now
"I'm sorry berry, i'm really sorry, its all my fault for leaving! i shouldn't have_" she cried, her words a slur of snot and tears, whimpers ensued.
downpour on par with the tears, the stabbing of a legendary pokemon, sunny loves pokemon?
"when we were like, in kindergarten? its not your fault sunny! we all have parent…
I really wanted to change the conversation. since she said when we were kids, my first thought went to how i almost killed everyone by getting a pokemon to… to…
