It was morning in Pentagram City. Destination: the Pride Ring, which had one of the biggest sinner populations in all of Hell. The demonic denizens usually started their days cursing at, attacking, or even screwing their neighbors. However, things were a little quieter at a little hotel on the outskirts of the city. The residents of the Hazbin Hotel were all waking up and getting ready to start the day. Some looked forward to a day full of success and change, others looked forward to a day where nothing changed, and everything still stayed the same shitty way it was. The residents of the hotel got dressed and gathered down in the lobby.
"So, is there anything for breakfast or am I gonna have to go out to some shitty restaurant again?" Angel Dust asked in a complaining tone which annoyed Vaggie.
"We recently went out and bought some new ingredients," Charlie announced. "Like flour, milk, baking powder, sugar, butter, cooking oil, eggs…"
"Great, can you make anything with them?" Angel asked sarcastically.
Charlie opened her mouth to answer, but then stopped as she realized she didn't know what to make with all those ingredients. Back home, her family usually had the royal chefs, or her dad, make the meals.
"Perhaps… we could look up some recipes," she nervously suggested.
While watching everyone debate on what to do for the most important meal of the day, Husk's nose picked up something; something smokey.
"Okay, all you fuckers shut up for a second," he said getting everyone's attention and sniffing the air. "Any of you smell that?"
The others sniffed the air and detected what he was smelling.
"What is that?" Charlie asked curiously.
"Smells like something's burning," Angel said.
"I think it's coming from the kitchen," Alastor deduced.
"It kinda smell good," Niffty said.
"Wait a minute, where's Lincoln?" Vaggie asked realizing they hadn't seen any sight of the hotel's youngest resident all morning.
After a moment of thinking, everyone's eyes widened when they finally put two and two together. Immediately, they all rushed to the kitchen fearing the worst. They burst through the kitchen doors only to find… Lincoln Loud, wearing an apron, standing on a stool by the stove, holding a frying pan in one hand and a spatula in the other.
For a moment, everyone just stared in surprise at Lincoln and the boy stared in surprise back at them.
"Good morning, everyone," he greeted his demonic friends and caretakers. "Just making some pancakes for breakfast. I saw you had all the ingredients and thought I'd make some for everyone. Is that okay? Should I had asked first?"
"Wait, you know how to cook?" a surprised Vaggie asked. She did not expect a child his age to know an important skill like that.
"Well, my dad is the better cook, but I did learn a few recipes from him," Lincoln replied humbly. "Is something wrong?"
"No, nothing at all, our precious little bellhop!" Charlie said happily. She could barely contain her joy over the boy doing something this nice for everyone without being asked to. "You just continue while we set the dining room table."
"That would be great. Niffty, could you come back here when the table is set? I'm going to need help bringing everything out."
"You can count on me," the little housekeeper agreed and saluted.
Everyone left the kitchen leaving the astonishing kid to do his work while they readied the dining room. Charlie's face was full of excitement while Vaggie was still in a little disbelief.
Much later, the dining room table was set. Everyone's place settings were decorated with forks, knives, napkins, and glasses. Almost everyone was seated at the table waiting for breakfast to be served.
"This is great!" Charlie said excitedly bouncing in her seat.
"Settle down, hon," Vaggie tried to calm her girlfriend. "It's just breakfast."
"Breakfast made by our bellhop! I mean, what could be better than the most important meal of the day when it's made by a dear friend?"
"Morning sex," Angel mischievously replied getting an annoyed look from Vaggie.
"Just hope it's good," Husk said.
"I'm sure it will be, Husk," Vaggie replied.
"Okay, no matter how it tastes, we will all show our appreciation," Charlie instructed. "Lincoln went out of his way to make breakfast for all of us, so we should be grateful for it."
"It's free, which means I won't have to spend money going out," Angel replied. "I'll for sure be grateful for that."
"Breakfast is served!" Lincoln called as he and Niffty entered the room carrying plates full of food for everyone.
They both passed out the plates to everyone at the table. Each plate consisted of strips of bacon, fried eggs, and pancakes. The pancakes were shaped like the face of the person they were being served to, much to the bewilderment of some.
"I even made some fresh squeezed OJ," Lincoln announced placing a pitcher of orange liquid on the table.
"And here's the butter and maple syrup," Niffty said placing two more items on the table as well.
"How did you make them look like us?" Vaggie asked about the pancakes.
"It's a little trick I've practiced," Lincoln replied.
Once all the food was on the table, Lincoln and Niffty took their seats.
"Go ahead, dig in," the boy gave the okay to eat.
The demonic hotel residents were hesitant for a moment, but an encouraging smile from Charlie convinced them to give it a try. One by one, each one cut a piece of pancake and popped it in their mouths. Their eyes widened as the tasty flavor filled their mouths.
"Holy shit! This is good!" Angel was the first to compliment.
"Fluffy texture, not too sweet, and each bite is satisfying," Alastor complimented.
"It's… not bad," Vaggie said before quickly taking another bite.
"Say, squirt," Angel said with a mischievous look on his face. "Think next time you could make them in the shape of–"
Before the porn star could finish, Vaggie elbowed him in the arm much to his annoyance.
"Angel, appropriate table conversation, please," Alastor scolded.
"Everything is delicious, Lincoln!" Charlie congratulated the young chef.
"Thanks, guys," the boy bashfully replied.
"You say your dad cooks better than you?" Husk asked.
"Yes, he's the cook in the family."
"Well, if his grub is better than this, then he must own his own restaurant."
"He does actually. It's called Lynn's Table."
"No kidding."
"He should compare recipes with my dad," Charlie suggested.
While everyone was talking about how good breakfast was, Husk decided to spike his orange juice to make it a little more to his liking. He took out a flask, unscrewed the top, and poured a little alcohol into his drink. Angel waved to him and held out his juice glass as if asking for a few drops for his drink as well. Shrugging, the feline-like bartender poured a little into the spiderlike porn star's juice.
"So, what's on the agenda for today?" Lincoln asked.
"Well, since the angels have cut the time till the next Extermination in half, we need to start getting things moving as quickly as possible if we're going to make this hotel work before the deadline," Vaggie explained in a serious tone. "Patrons have to start getting serious about bettering themselves," she said glaring over at Angel Dust. "And staff members need to start getting serious about doing their jobs."
Lincoln raised his hand.
"What?"
"Maybe I'm just new to this whole bellboy thing," the boy said. "But what exactly is a bellhop supposed to do?"
"Have you ever been to a hotel before?"
"Yes, but I don't want to talk about it," Lincoln replied looking a little embarrassed and ashamed as he remembered the time he and his siblings pressured their parents into bringing them along on a trip to a spa resort.
"Well, since you're the only bellhop we got, you're going to have to pull more than double duty and help around the hotel with other tasks that most bellhops normally don't do."
A nervous look spread over Lincoln's face at hearing that. Vaggie's serious expression and commanding tone confirmed that she wasn't kidding around.
"Uh, Vaggie?" Charlie said and gestured to her partner to come closer so they could whisper in private. "Don't you think that might be overworking him a bit?"
"With the short time we have, we can't afford any delays," Vaggie whispered back. "Besides, if he is who we think he is, then we need to see some development as soon as possible."
Charlie reluctantly nodded in agreement. It didn't feel right to her to have to put someone so young and sweet through such hardship, but she felt her girlfriend made a fair point.
"Alright, I'll supervise you for the next couple of weeks giving you the rundown of what you'll need to do," Vaggie informed Lincoln. "It starts today, so finish up breakfast and we'll go upstairs and get ready. You'll need your uniform to perform your bellhop duties and I'll get my spear for my manager duties, and no lollygagging."
"Why do you need your spear for your managing duties?" Lincoln asked in confusion.
"If you worked as a manager you'd know."
The next couple of days were filled with hard labor. Young Lincoln Loud would learn why this place was called Hell as he worked tirelessly to perform the tasks assigned to him.
Lincoln struggled to drag two big heavy bags of trash out the doors of the hotel while Vaggie stood and supervised him.
"Come on! Those trash bags aren't going to get themselves down to the street for pickup!" she yelled.
Lincoln hated taking out the trash back home. But he hated it more here. Not only were these bags really big and heavy, but it was a long walk from the hotel to the trash cans on the street.
Later, Lincoln was cleaning the hotel's many windows with Niffty. Lincoln cleaned the insides while Niffty, suspended by a rope, cleaned the outsides. While doing so, Lincoln stopped to gaze out at the red sky with a sad look of longing. Although he was grateful for the hospitality provided by the demons living in this hotel, he still longed to return home to his family and friends.
One day, Vaggie watched as Lincoln brought some room service to Angel Dust's room. After handing their guest his meal, the boy looked up at his supervisor who gestured her head toward their patron. The young bellboy smiled and held out his hand to the porn star. In addition, to delivering room service, Vaggie was also teaching him how to ask for tips.
Angel smiled back and reached into his pocket. Lincoln felt a glimmer of excitement at being rewarded for a job well done. Eventually, Angel took something out of his pocket and placed it in the boy's hand. But to his surprise and confusion, it wasn't money. It was a small red rubber circle in a plastic bag. The label on the bag read Strawberry Flavored Slim-fit Condom.
A furious Vaggie snatched the unopened condom out of the boy's hand and threw it at Angel Dust. However, the mischievous porn star closed the door which the condom bounced off. While Angel was laughing behind his door at his joke, Vaggie was outside seething with anger while a nervous Lincoln slowly backed away from her.
Later, Lincoln helped Niffty clean one of the bathrooms. He cleaned the floor while she cleaned the toilet. As she finished wiping down the toilet, the one-eyed housekeeper tested the flushing mechanism a few times while also looking inside the bowl.
Lincoln continued to scrub the floor. However, the constant flushing noise was starting to become distracting. He looked over to see what his cleaning partner was doing, only to find she wasn't there anymore. Hearing the sound of running water, the worst-case scenario popped into the boy's head as he frantically ran over to the toilet. He looked into the bowl to see water going down, but no Niffty. Fearing she had accidentally flushed herself, a panic-stricken Lincoln frantically tried to stop the flushing mechanism and ended up breaking off the lever. Believing he only had one option left to try and save the small demonic neat freak, the white-haired boy reluctantly jammed his hand into the bowl in an attempt to try to reach inside and pull her out. He struggled frantically as he dug his arm deeper into the toilet. Little did he know was that Niffty was standing at the doorway holding a toilet brush and watching him with a confused expression.
Sometime after that, Vaggie was showing Lincoln how to work the coffee machine. She knew he wasn't old enough to drink it himself, but it would be helpful for him to know how to make it for others who were also working hard at the hotel. She showed him how she made her favorite cup of coffee, with a certain amount of cream and vanilla. The one-eyed hotel manager took a drink and sighed with satisfaction.
Then something got their attention; just outside the door of the room was Angel Dust standing next to a portrait of Charlie and Vaggie together. With one finger and a mischievous smile, he tilted the picture a little to the right and made it look completely crooked. After a moment of laughter, he ran off to cause more mischief while making a taunting face and flipping the bird at his prank victims as he left.
Vaggie growled in annoyance and turned back to the coffee machine, she needed another cup after that. But to her surprise, Lincoln had already made her a cup and was offering it to her. After she accepted the cup, the boy gestured to her to stay back and let him handle it. Lincoln ran out the door to see if he could stop Angel from doing anything else. As she watched him leave, Vaggie took a sip of the coffee he had made. Her eye widened with shock as she examined the cup, it tasted better than the one she made. The hotel manager looked back to the doorway with a warm smile as she took another sip. This kid was starting to grow on her.
After a while, a tired Lincoln walked down a hall until he came across Alastor, who was blocking his path. The Radio Demon stared down at the boy holding his staff in one hand and a broomstick in the other. It didn't take a scientific genius to understand what he wanted. The smiling demon handed the broom to Lincoln and pointed commandingly back down the hallway. Letting out a deep sigh, the boy turned around and began sweeping back in the direction he came.
Another day, Lincoln was busy cleaning up the bar. He had cleaned the bottles, the shakers, the glasses, the seats, and now he was cleaning the counter. After what felt like hours of cleaning, the exhausted boy took a seat and rested his head on the clean counter.
Husk arrived and took a swig from one of the clean bottles before getting out a glass, a shaker, and couple other things and started mixing. After a while, he poured what he mixed into a glass, added some ice, a cherry, and a tiny umbrella, and placed it on the counter in front of Lincoln. He gently tapped the tired boy's head to get his attention. The catlike bartender smiled at him and offered him what he had made. He had mixed up a fizzy non-alcoholic beverage for the kid as a way of thanking him for a job well done. Smiling gratefully, Lincoln accepted the drink.
Later, all the residents were having a meeting in the lobby where Charlie was happily explaining some new plans for new weekly activities to try and help with the redemption process. Although most of the ideas she was explaining sounded a little unrealistic and not likely to work, Lincoln was still happy to be included.
A day later, Niffty was busy with something else, so Lincoln took over doing the laundry duty. He was in the laundry room putting clothing and other cloth items into the washing machine. Just then, Angel came in with a huge load of laundry and dumped it all into a basket. The spiderlike hotel patron left while snickering mischievously.
Lincoln nervously wondered what kind of trick the porn star had up his sleeve this time. He reached into the pile until he touched something that didn't feel right. He pulled out… something! It looked like underwear, maybe. It felt wet and slimy! It smelled awful! And it was stained with… who knows what! If there were a picture of this thing, it would have to be censored. Lincoln nearly threw up from the sight, smell, and feel of this thing. Pulling himself together, he threw it into the machine and frantically began pour huge amounts of soap and bleach in as well.
Sometime later, Lincoln was passed out in a chair still in the laundry room. Charlie, Vaggie, and Angel Dust walked into the room and looked down at the sleeping boy. Charlie looked concerned, Vaggie looked like she was ready to reprimand him for sleeping on the job, and Angel looked eager to know what his reaction to what he left in his laundry was. Suddenly, their expressions turned to surprise as they observed the rest of the room. Clean sheets and clothes were hung on racks and strings to dry while others were dry, folded, and organized. The three looked at each other and then looked back down at the sleeping boy with sympathetic eyes as they realized he had been working himself to exhaustion. Both Charlie and Vaggie agreed that he deserved a little break while Angel decided to tone it down on the mischief. Charlie took one of the clean blankets and gently laid it on the sleeping Lincoln to keep him warm. The boy woke up slightly for a moment just long enough to see them leave.
Another day, Lincoln was up on the roof of Alastor's radio tower trying to fix the antenna. The Radio Demon himself was inside the tower instructing him on what to do. Lincoln adjusted the antenna while Alastor tested his equipment. After a few tries, Alastor gave the okay that everything was working. Lincoln was satisfied at getting the job done, but then lost his footing and tumbled off the roof of the tower. He would've fallen all the way down, but something caught him, and he now found himself dangling several stories from the ground. He turned to find Alastor had caught him and the back of his bellhop coat was hanging from the end of his staff. The Radio Demon brought the boy into his tower and set him down on the floor. Lincoln sighed in relief at narrowly avoiding becoming a possible sinner himself.
The Radio Demon then gestured for the boy to come closer to the controls of his radio tower. There were many buttons, switches, and nobs and he didn't know what any of them did. Alastor tinkered with the controls a bit before speaking into a microphone. A radio box in the room broadcasted exactly what he said, much to Lincoln's amazement. The Radio Demon then gestured to him to give it a try. Lincoln said something into the microphone and heard it come out of the radio. The boy felt his hair being ruffled and looked up to see Alastor looking down at him with what looked like a genuinely impressed smile. Although he found it hard to completely trust the Radio Demon, Lincoln couldn't help but smile back to show his appreciation at the smiling demon for saving his life and congratulating him for learning something new. Or in this case, something old.
One night, Lincoln woke up from a bad dream. He walked down the halls of the hotel in a pair of pajamas similar to the ones he had back home except red instead of orange (old hand-me-downs given to him by Charlie). He was looking for someone, preferably Charlie or Vaggie, to talk to. After a while, he heard some commotion coming from the roof. He made his way there to find all the hotel residents gathered around the hotel sign. They all had unhappy expressions on their faces, with the exception of Alastor who was always smiling. After taking a few steps closer, Lincoln was able to see what the problem was; all the lights were out. The hotel residents noticed him, and Charlie apologized if they woke him and explained that the lights weren't staying on. Vaggie demonstrated by flipping a nearby switch. The lights went on for a moment before immediately going out. Charlie looked miserable because she was afraid they would have to replace all the lights, which would be a very tedious task.
However, Lincoln noticed something. He asked Vaggie to flip the switch again. She did, and just like before, they went on for a few seconds before going out. He noticed that a few of the lights did not go on, which he explained to the others. He asked Vaggie to flip the switch again and was able to pinpoint where they were. He suggested that they may save themselves a lot of trouble if they first just replace the lights that aren't turning on at all. Soon they all began replacing the burnt-out lights with Lincoln replacing the last one. Vaggie flipped the switch one more time and the lights turned on. But this time, they stayed on, and the hotel sign shined brightly.
Everyone began cheering happily over successfully fixing the sign. Charlie knelt down and pulled Lincoln into a tight and warm hug. Angel reached down to ruffle his hair. Niffty joined in the hug. Vaggie, Alastor, and Husk all looked down at the boy with proud and congratulatory smiles. Even though they were all demons in Hell, being praised, appreciated, and congratulated felt good. After a long time of constantly feeling overlooked and overshadowed, Lincoln felt special.
Charlie and Vaggie took him back to his room and tucked him back into bed with the princess giving him a good night kiss on the head.
There wasn't much in the room; just a bed, a dresser with a lamp on it, a small set of shelves with some books, there was a table with a television set on it, another table with a radio on it (likely provided by Alastor), a closet, and a window to the outside. Inside the closet hung the boy's orange polo shirt and his bellhop uniform.
Both Charlie and Vaggie looked at each other realizing the kid had a very limited wardrobe. Then they both smiled getting an idea of what they would do tomorrow. It was time Lincoln was rewarded for all his hard work.
The next morning, Lincoln woke up and was about to put on his uniform when he heard a knocking at his door.
"Lincoln! Are you up?" he heard Charlie's cheerful voice.
"Yes, I'm just about to get ready," he replied.
"Come here for a second," he heard Vaggie's voice call to him.
The boy, still in his pajamas, opened his door to find the two smiling women standing on the other side. The expressions on their faces suggested they had something special planned for him.
"You need something?" he asked.
"Yes. Could you put this on, please?" Charlie requested and presented him with a small gray hoodie with two little red horns on the hood.
"We're going to hand out some flyers to promote the hotel, and we were thinking you could help," Vaggie explained.
"And we'll go shopping for some new clothes for you," Charlie excitedly added.
"This hoodie should allow you to blend in as long as you keep the hood up."
"Well, I guess it would be nice to get out for a little bit," Lincoln reluctantly agreed. "Don't want to stay cooped up here forever."
"That's the spirit!" Charlie said pulling him into a hug.
A little later, the three were out on the streets trying to hand out flyers to demons passing by. Lincoln wore the horned hoodie and it seemed no one suspected his humanity. However, it was getting a little stressful because no one was taking any interest in or accepting the flyers.
"Hello!" Charlie called to a trio of passing sinners. "Would any of you be interested in checking in at the Hazbin Hotel? I'm sure you'll find staying there to be quite comfortable. If you would just take a look at this flyer, you'll see that we have numerous amenities that…"
"FUCK OFF, BITCH!" the leader of the trio angrily yelled and smacked the flyers out of Charlie's hands.
The papers went everywhere as the princess tried to gather them up.
"Hey! A simple 'no thank you' is enough!" Vaggie snarled coming to her girlfriend's aid. "You didn't have to do that!"
"You really are a brainless bimbo if you think anyone will want to stay at your shitty hotel and participate in your stupid redemption plan!" the group's leader mocked Charlie as his companions laughed cruelly.
Lincoln was shocked and appalled by what he just witnessed.
"Do you have any idea who you're talking to?!" the disguised boy angrily yelled at the group of demons.
"Of course I do; the weak, pathetic, non-threatening Princess of All of Hell!" the gang leader continued to belittle. "If anyone goes along with this worthless idea of hers, they'll be a laughingstock, just like her!"
The other two continued to laugh while Lincoln and Vaggie's anger increased.
"With people like her in charge of this place, it's no wonder Heaven gives us so much shit."
"She's just trying to help!" Lincoln furiously yelled.
"Do we look like we need her help?!"
Lincoln felt his body filling with a burning feeling. Rage. How dare these jerks treat his friend, their own princess, so cruelly when all she wanted to do was make a better future for them?! Despite being much smaller than them, he really wanted to teach these guys a painful lesson in manners. His teeth clenched and his eyes began to go bloodshot. However, the redness in his eyes suddenly started turning black. Soon, his eyes turned completely black.
Suddenly, all the rage he felt disappeared, along with the blackness in his eyes, when he felt a soft hand on his shoulder. He turned to see Charlie looking at him with a pleading face asking him to let it go.
"She can help by not wasting our time," the gang leader said one last thing before he and his companions turned and walked away flipping them off as they left.
After gathering up the rest of the flyers, the trio walked away. The mood was tense and uncomfortable.
"How often do you get treated like that, Charlie?" Lincoln asked remembering the gang leader's words.
"Well, almost… every day," the demon princess uncomfortably answered. "But they don't always do it in person… Sometimes they do it on TV or social media."
Lincoln couldn't believe what he had just heard. "You're the Princess! How can you let people treat you like that?!"
"Believe me, kid. I've asked the same thing," Vaggie agreed.
"They just don't understand," Charlie said. "They've lost hope. But if we can make our hotel work, we can show them that there is another way, and everything will be better."
Lincoln now understood why she reacted the way she did when he first bowed to her. It was probably the first time anyone, besides Vaggie, had treated her like royalty and with respect.
"Charlie, you're a good person," he said sympathetically.
"And so are you," she gratefully replied gently patting his head. "Now let's get you some clothes."
A little later, the two women and the boy returned to the hotel carrying some bags full of new clothes. Everyone was hanging around in the lobby doing their own things when they arrived; Husk was drinking at the bar, Angel Dust was sucking on a popsicle, Niffty was chasing a bug with a needle, and Alastor was just standing around observing the others.
"Guess who just got some new clothes!" Charlie announced and gestured towards Lincoln.
Charlie and Vaggie set the bags down while the boy took off the hoodie to reveal a new suit they had bought for him. A light blue dress coat with matching slacks, an orange necktie, and a pair of dark brown shoes.
"Nice duds, squirt," Angel complimented. "Although, I personally would've gone with something a little more pink that shows off more skin."
Husk gave him a look that said 'of course you would'.
"He was really insistent on getting this one," Vaggie said.
"It looks just like the one I have back home," Lincoln commented on his new suit.
"You have a suit like this back home?" a curious Charlie asked.
"Yes. I affectionately refer to it as my convincing suit."
"Convincing suit?" Vaggie said confused.
"I wear it whenever I need to convince people to do something. Watch." The well-dressed boy approached the bar. "Angel, could you please have something on when you answer the door from now on? You're in a place with mixed company and being in a state of… undress could make them uncomfortable."
"Fine," the porn star reluctantly agreed and resumed sucking his popsicle.
Suddenly, both his and Husk's eyes widened at what he just easily agreed to.
"Wow! I've never been able to get him to agree to that," Vaggie said both surprised and impressed.
"That is the power of the convincing suit," Lincoln boasted. "Alastor–"
"Ha, ha! Not another word," the Radio Demon interrupted not wanting to fall to the well-dressed boy's strange new power.
"With this I can probably help convince more demons to come to the hotel, then we can have a better chance of figuring out how to redeem them so they can go to Heaven. Then we'll be able to figure out a way to… go to Earth."
Lincoln's mood dulled as he finished that last sentence. He was really missing his home and his family.
"Don't worry, Lincoln," Charlie said kneeling down and putting a hand on his shoulder. "We'll find a way to get you home. I'm sure your family will be so happy to see you."
"Thanks, Charlie," he expressed his gratitude.
"You look nice," she complimented on his choice of clothing.
"You would think that. No offense, but I've never seen a princess wear a tuxedo before."
"Oh, I like the way they look," she said admiring her own choice of clothing.
"You really pull it off well. I wonder what my sister, Leni, would think."
"Okay, which sister was this? The creepy one or the technical one?" Vaggie asked.
"Those are Lucy and Lisa. Leni is the second eldest of my siblings. She's really nice but not too bright. However, she's an expert when it comes to fashion."
"Alright, how many siblings do you have exactly?" Vaggie asked. She was getting tired of trying to keep track of how many she'd heard of.
"Oh, I thought I mentioned it. Ten."
At hearing this, Husk spat out his drink, Angel inhaled his popsicle so hard it went into his throat, Niffty stopped chasing the bug (who also stopped scurrying) and both gasped, Alastor was so shocked he made some static noises.
"TEN!" Charlie, Vaggie, Alastor, Niffty, and Husk all exclaimed in shock.
Angel was unable to say anything due to choking on his popsicle. The spider demon gasped and coughed until he finally spat the frozen treat out sending it flying across the room.
"No shitting?!" the surprised porn star asked.
"It's true. Look," Lincoln insisted. He got out his phone, searched through it until he found a picture of him and all his sisters, and held it up.
All the hotel residents quickly gathered in front of the phone to get a good look at the picture.
"Oh my!" Alastor exclaimed in shock.
"Santa mierda!" Vaggie exclaimed equally shocked.
"Is anyone else seeing this?" Husk asked trying to make sure he wasn't too drunk to hallucinate.
"Wow!" Charlie exclaimed.
"There's so many!" Niffty said.
"So, are any of them adopted? Half or Stepsiblings?" Vaggie asked.
"Nope. We all come from the same two parents," Lincoln answered putting his phone away.
"Holy shit!" Husk said shocked.
"Sounds like your pops has a weak pull-out game or something," Angel commented.
"I didn't know humans could reproduce that many," Charlie commented.
"Are they all girls?" Niffty asked.
"Yep. Just me, my ten sisters, our parents, and a few pets all living in our two-story house in Royal Woods, Michigan," Lincoln explained. "Five of my sisters are older than me while the other five are younger."
The demons of the hotel all stood staring in complete shock and disbelief as they absorbed the information they were just given.
"Well, I'd better put these away and get ready," the boy said taking the bags and leaving the room.
The others watched him leave while still in shock.
"So, he lives in a small house, with ten other siblings, all of them girls, and he's the middle child," Vaggie said putting everything together. Then she leaned over to whisper to her girlfriend. "Poor kid. No wonder his hair is white."
"I'm surprised at how well-adjusted he is despite his rather… difficult living conditions," Husk said. "And I'm not talking about here."
Angel was cringing. He already felt a little bad about all the mischief he had caused Lincoln over the past couple of days, but now after learning this, he felt even worse.
Alastor didn't know what to say. He never thought a child could be full of so many surprises.
"I can only imagine what living with such a big family could be like," Vaggie said. "Crashing through the crowded halls."
"Dodging girls like… like…" Angel continued.
"Ping pong balls?" Niffty suggested.
"Just to reach the bathroom on time," Husk finished.
"Hey, that's catchy," Charlie commented.
"So… any luck with the flyers?" Angel asked changing the subject.
Charlie sadly shook her head while Vaggie gently patted her on the back.
"Well, that sucks."
"If only there was another way to get more demons to come to the hotel," Vaggie said.
"I have a question," Husk got their attention. "Since none of your ideas have worked, why don't we ask "the One" what he thinks we should do?"
"Whether or not he is the One is something we're still deciding on."
"And if he isn't, what will we do? I'm sure there's someone in your family or close to your family that knows how to access the human world," Husk said to Charlie. "We can send him back home no problem."
"We still don't know what brought him here in the first place," Vaggie argued.
"Something brought him here for a reason, I know it," Charlie explained. "Who knows? If we try to send him back, what if whatever brought him here before sends him right back to us? He might not be able to return to Earth permanently until his purpose here is served. There is a lot of mystery to this situation and answers are needed."
"Believe whatever you want," Husk told them. "But let me remind you all, this is not the safest place to live. There are a lot of dangers around here, not including the Exterminations. Without anyone to look after him, the kid won't last a day and not many people are going to care what happens to him."
"And that's why he needs to stay here. Right now, this hotel is the safest place in the city."
There was a moment of silence as the demonic residents of the hotel contemplated the safety and purpose of the human child living with them. Was there a reason for his being there, or was it all just a bad coincidence and a waste of time?
Lincoln had changed into his bellhop uniform and was ready to continue his duties. He stood outside of Angel Dust's room with a laundry basket.
"Angel, are you in there?" he asked knocking on the door. "I'm here to pick up some laundry." There was no answer. "Can I come in? Are you decent? Please be decent this time." Still no answer. "I'm coming in."
The boy opened the door and saw that there was no one in the room. Then he carried the basket in, set it down, and began filling it with any clothes he found laying around. Lincoln knelt down to see if there were any clothes under the bed. It was really dark and difficult to see anything. Suddenly, two glowing red eyes appeared in the darkness causing the boy to yelp and move back.
Lincoln sat with his back against the wall shaking as he stared at the two red eyes beneath the bed which stared back at him. There was a creature under that bed and now it was moving closer. It finally emerged out of the darkness and revealed itself to be… some kind of small demonic pig. It looked almost entirely like a pig back on Earth, but with a few red and black spots as well as a few spikes sticking out at certain parts of its body. Lincoln's fear diminished a little as he found the creature to be rather adorable looking. However, he remained cautious.
"Uhh… hi?" he nervously greeted the small creature.
It made a few small pig noises and continued to stare at the human boy.
"I see you've met Fat Nuggets," Lincoln heard a familiar voice. He turned to find the spiderlike porn star standing in the doorway. "He's one of the few friends I have in this place. You can pet him if you want. Just be careful, he still has his fangs."
"Okay," Lincoln reluctantly accepted.
The boy slowly and cautiously extended his arm toward the pig who continued to stare back at him. Just as his hand was inches from the animal's head, it moved closer. Then it stood up on its hind legs and rested its front legs on Lincoln's chest. Its snout was now inches from his face. Then it gave the boy a small lick on the cheek.
"Well, how about that," Angel said chuckling warmly. "You two have just met and he already likes you."
Lincoln chuckled as he gently rubbed the demon pig's head.
"Well, I'd better get going," he said getting up and picking up the basket. "Bye, Angel." Then he left the room.
The spider demon picked up his pet.
"Wow! You don't usually warm up to strangers so easily," he said. "That kid must be special or something."
Angel thought for a moment. This little boy had been working so hard and enduring so much. All the while maintaining a patient and friendly attitude. Life in Hell hadn't been easy for him, and from what he heard neither was life back on Earth. He needed some kind of compensation, a reward. Then the spider demon got an idea.
Lincoln was walking down the hall when he heard Angel Dust calling him.
"Hey! Hey, kid!" He turned to see the porn star running toward him.
"Is something wrong, Angel?" Lincoln asked.
"No, I was just thinking of heading out for a fun night on the town and was thought you should come along."
"You want me to come along?" the confused boy asked. The horny spider demon was friendly, at times, but he didn't think he cared about him that much.
"Yeah, squirt. You've been working your ass off the last couple of days. Time to take a break and have a night of fun."
"But what about the hotel?"
"The hotel will be fine. There's only one patron to deal with," He assured him while striking a pose, obviously referring to himself. "No one's going to be overworked."
"But Vaggie…"
"That bitch has a long stick too far up her ass. She needs to let loose, and so do you."
Lincoln thought for a moment. While it would be nice to take a break and have some fun, but he remembered that this was Hell. Not exactly a child-friendly environment. Although, Angel looked like he genuinely wanted to have some fun with him.
"Well, I guess it'll be okay if we talk to…"
"Alright, baby!" the porn star exclaimed excitedly. "Go change into something more comfortable and let's have a night on the town!"
A little later, Angel Dust appeared in the lobby with Lincoln, who was dressed in his usual attire and wearing the horned hoodie. Everyone took notice of them.
"What are you doing?" Vaggie asked suspiciously.
"Just going out for a night on the town," Angel answered. "And I'm bringing the kid too."
"Uh, no you're not."
"Uh, yes I am."
"Unlike you, he has a job to do here," the one-eyed manager argued. "Helping keep the place tidy, waiting on patrons–"
"You only have ONE patron, moi!" Angel retorted. "Also, don't you think he's done enough work in the past couple of days? Give him a break! Let him have some fun! He's just a kid."
"Angel has a point, Vaggie," Charlie said gently putting a hand on her girlfriend's shoulder. "Lincoln has been working pretty hard lately. Why don't we let him have a little fun?"
They both looked down at the white-haired boy who was giving them puppy dog eyes.
"Alright," Vaggie reluctantly agreed. Then she turned to Angel. "But make sure he's with you at all times."
"No worries, toots," the confident porn actor assured. "I'll keep an eye on him. Alright, kid. Let's go."
With that, the two walked out through the hotel doors and into the night. The princess and her partner watched them leave, but while one was optimistic the other was nervous.
"Are you sure this is a good idea, hon?" Vaggie asked.
"Of course, this is a perfect opportunity," Charlie assured. "There's a reason why I let Lincoln stay at the hotel, and it wasn't because we needed a bellhop. He's young, cute, and sweet. If his childlike innocence can help bring out the best in sinners, then it will help us reach our goal quicker."
"I understand," Vaggie said. "I just hope nothing bad happens."
Vaggie didn't have the heart to tell Charlie that not everyone will be easily won over by the innocence of a child.
It was nighttime in Pentagram City. The glowing neon signs, the many people going to and fro, it almost looked like Las Vegas. Angel Dust walked down the street with Lincoln walking by his side. The porn actor was the tallest resident of the hotel, but it wasn't until now that Lincoln realized exactly how tall. He towered over the boy.
"Doesn't it feel great to get out, stretch your legs, and witness the wonders of Hell?" Angel said satisfied.
"Y…yeah, sure," Lincoln reluctantly agreed as they passed by a dirty homeless demon holding a cardboard sign that read SATAN HELP! "So, what are going to do?"
"Well, first I have to meet a couple guys at a restaurant."
"Friends of yours?"
"No, just some assholes I owe money to."
"Oh." That didn't sound fun or safe. "Do you have the money for them?"
"No, I spent it all on crack."
"What?!" Now Lincoln was starting to wish he hadn't agreed to this. "Then what are we going to do?"
"Relax, shrimp, I got a plan," Angel confidently explained. "The restaurant we're going to, I know that would be the place they'd want to meet me. When we meet them, they're gonna frisk us to make sure we're not carrying any weapons. Of course, they're gonna have weapons of their own. But I hid a gun in the bathroom a few days ago in preparation for this."
"I get the feeling you need me to do something," Lincoln nervously guessed.
"I need you to get the gun for me."
"Why me?"
"Hiding guns like that isn't easy and they'll be suspicious if I left the table and did it myself. But with your cheeky little magic tricks, you should be able to pull it off no problem."
This plan didn't inspire a lot of confidence for the nervous boy. There were too many risks.
"Angel, I don't know…"
"Don't worry," the spider demon assured gently placing a hand on his head. "Everything will be okay."
Despite being scared, Lincoln could see that the multiarmed porn star was both genuinely confident in getting out of this alive and keeping him safe. Reluctantly, Lincoln agreed to the plan. By now, it was too late to back out.
"There they are," Angel informed the boy as they approached a restaurant where three vicious-looking sharklike demons dressed as gangsters were waiting by the doors.
The sight of these thugs made Lincoln's anxiety skyrocket.
"Okay, just follow my lead and wait for my signal," Angel whispered.
"Angel Dust!" the leader of the shark demon trio called in a threatening tone while smoking a cigar. "You're late."
"Hey, boys!" Angel replied in a flirtatious tone. "Were you all waiting long for little ol' me?"
"Shut up!" the gang leader angrily snapped. Then he caught sight of the porn star's small companion. "Who's this?"
Lincoln felt his sweat dripping from his forehead as the trio of thugs all turned their attention to him wondering what a runt was doing here.
"Nobody," Angel intervened. "Just a new assistant of mine. No need to worry, he's harmless."
"We'll see," the gang leader said unconvinced. "Frisk them."
The other two shark demons began patting down Angel and Lincoln's clothes to make sure they weren't concealing any weapons. While Angel was making lewd comments as he was being searched, Lincoln was silently trembling with fear.
"They're clean, boss," one of the shark thugs informed.
"Alright, get in," the leader commanded.
All five of them entered the restaurant and sat down at a table together. The three shark demons continued to glare menacingly at their two guests. Angel Dust continued to act confident and fearless while Lincoln trembled in his seat.
"So, any of you boys looking for a fun night out with yours truly?" Angel asked flirtatiously.
"Cut the shit, whore!" the leader said angrily. "You know why we're here. Where's our money!"
"Oh, that darn money," the lanky porn star said pretending to be sad. "Why does it always have to be about business? Can't we just…" Then he leaned closer and started tickling the chin of one of the thugs. "Focus on bigger things instead?"
"Listen, bitch!" the leader said getting angrier. "We ain't just some random group of bozos. We're dangerous! Anyone fucks with us, we fuck them BACK!"
"Kinky!"
"YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!" The gang leader took a moment to calm down and regain his composure. "But if you won't tell us where our money is… maybe your little assistant here will."
All eyes were now focused on Lincoln who began to shake even more as his anxiety rose higher and higher.
"Well, runt, where is he hiding our dough?" one of the thugs asked in a demanding tone.
"And no funny business," another thug said threateningly. "Understand? There's no telling what could happen."
Poor Lincoln trembled with fear. All these guys looked very mean. It wouldn't matter to them if he was just a kid. They were ready to use deadly force if they didn't get what they wanted. The frightened boy looked to his troublesome friend for help. The confident porn actor looked down at him, smiled, and winked. That must be the signal he mentioned.
"I… I need to use the bathroom," the adolescent nervously said.
"Well, when you gotta go, ya' gotta go," Angel remarked giving the kid permission to leave the table.
Lincoln wasted no time and headed straight for the restrooms.
"So, new assistant, huh?" the leader asked. There was something about that shrimp that didn't feel right.
"You like them young now?" one of the thugs asked in a teasing and suggestive tone.
"Do I look Catholic to you?!" the porn star responded both offended and enraged. Even someone like him had his limits.
Meanwhile, Lincoln was skulking through the restroom trying to figure out where Angel hid the gun.
"Where did you hide it?" he nervously whispered to himself as he passed a few closed bathroom stalls.
Eventually, he came across one that was open. Deciding to check this one first, he entered the available stall. He checked around and under the toilet, but he couldn't find that gun anywhere.
"Where is it? Where is it?" Lincoln whispered to himself again. He was starting to panic. If he didn't find that weapon soon, who knows what those thugs would do to him and Angel.
"Hey!"
The boy nearly jumped when he heard a loud voice coming from one of the occupied stalls.
"This isn't toilet paper!"
Suddenly, the sound of a submachine gun going off echoed through the room followed by the deathly sound of flatulence which made the startled boy cringe.
After a while, Lincoln finally came out of the restroom and returned to his seat at the table. The poor boy had a very disturbed expression on his face.
"Well then, are we ready to get down to business?" the gang leader asked impatiently.
"Whoops!" Lincoln suddenly exclaimed. "Sorry, I dropped my napkin."
The boy nervously bent down to pick up his napkin. He placed it back on the table between him and Angel Dust. However, it wasn't placed flat and neatly but bulgy and bumpy. The nervous kid winked at his companion who smiled back at him.
"Well, boys," Angel said. "I was hoping we could have a little fun before getting down to business. What a shame. I suppose I should pay you back what I owe ya'." Then he put his hand down on the messy napkin Lincoln put on the table. His smile widened and became more menacing as he felt something hard underneath the napkin. The kid had done exactly what he was told. "Tell me, how much is what I owe ya' worth… in LEAD?!"
Before anyone could react, Angel grabbed the submachine gun and began to open fire on the three gangsters. One fell from a hail of bullets while the other two ducked for cover under another nearby table. Customers and workers in the restaurant immediately began to evacuate as the shootout commenced. Angel turned the table over to use as a shield against the bullets of the other two gangsters. He grabbed Lincoln and they both hid behind the turned over table. The porn star chuckled with excitement while the kid trembled with fear.
"Stay here, squirt," he told the shaking boy. "I'll take care of this!" His smile was wide showing off his pointy teeth and his eyes glowed bright red with murderous excitement.
Angel leaped up from behind the table. The porn star soared high through the air. Once he was just above the two gangsters, he let out another barrage of bullets capping another. The spider demon landed on his feet and turned to face the gang leader, the only one left standing.
"I ain't gonna be made a fool of by a sissy and his little pet!" the leader angrily yelled.
"Oh, now it's on!" Angel declared, his smile wide with bloodlust and his glowing red eye twitching with rage.
The gang leader aimed his gun at the porn star and opened fire. However, the spider demon leapt into the air and opened fire on the shark demon filling him with around 50 holes. The slain foe fell to the floor. The spider demon walked over to his corpse and put a few holes in his crotch area for good measure.
"Who's the sissy now?!" the spidery victor said satisfied.
Angel looked around and saw that the whole restaurant was trashed and almost completely devoid of people. Then he peeked behind the table he had been using for cover and found Lincoln still sitting right there trembling with fear and anxiety. Seeing the kid looking so traumatized made him regret a few of his decisions. Although he was still too proud to apologize, he did regret bringing the poor child into this and putting him in danger.
"Hey, you okay?" the porn actor asked concerned.
The scared boy looked up at him with eyes asking if it was all over.
"It's all over now," Angel reassured him and extended a hand to help him up.
After a moment, Lincoln accepted the gesture and allowed the spider demon to help him stand up.
"You're… pretty good at fighting," the boy reluctantly complimented. Although he wanted to chastise him for putting him through all this, he thought it best to stay on his good side after what he'd seen.
"Thanks, kid," Angel replied. "You did pretty good yourself."
"Really?"
"Yeah, you followed my instructions and found my gun. I don't know how else I could've pulled this off without you."
The spider demon affectionately ruffled the boy's hair. Although it didn't feel right to accept praise from aiding in a shootout, Lincoln was glad that he and Angel were getting along very well so far.
Then the multiarmed porn star sniffed his gun and realized it had a rather weird scent. "Why does this smell funny?"
"You don't wanna know."
After the restaurant shootout, Lincoln and Angel continued walking the streets of the city.
"So, what now?" the curious boy asked.
"I need to meet up with a friend," the porn actor answered.
"You're going to shoot them, are you?"
"No. We're just going to meet and then we'll show you how to have a really good time down here. Trust me, you'll like her."
They both arrived at an alleyway. Lincoln nervously stayed close to his towering chaperone. He feared that any scumbag or lowlife demon would pop out at any moment and try to do them harm.
"So, where is this friend of yours?" the boy asked.
Suddenly, someone leapt down from the roof of one of the buildings and landed in the alleyway right in front of them. Lincoln was startled but Angel looked unfazed. In fact, he looked downright happy. The figure stood up and revealed herself to be a woman around Vaggie's height. She walked into the light to reveal her identity. To Lincoln's surprise, it was the one-eyed woman he saw fighting that airship piloted by the snake man and his egg minions.
"Hey Angie!" the woman called to Angel in a friendly and greeting tone. "Where ya' been?"
"Cherri Bomb!" Angel happily replied back.
The two embraced each other for a moment. Lincoln was surprised to see Angel Dust knew this person.
"I've been shacking up at that crappy hotel I told you about."
"They still got ya' on that whole "rehabilitation" shit?" Cherri asked.
"Sadly, yes," he replied.
"Well, how's about a night of letting loose and getting away from all that goody two-shoes shit?" Cherri suggested.
"Baby, you read my mind."
Then Cherri turned her attention to the short newcomer her friend brought with him.
"And who is this shrimp?" she asked curiously. "Don't tell me they got you babysitting."
"He's the new bellboy," Angel introduced Lincoln. "He's been working a lot, so I thought he deserved to have a little fun."
"Hi, I'm Lincoln Loud. Nice to meet you," the boy introduced himself and extended his hand.
"Well, isn't he the little gentleman," Cherri affectionately remarked and shook his hand. Something about this kid seemed familiar to her. "Do I know you from someplace?"
"Well, when I first came here, I saw you fighting some guy in a flying warship," Lincoln said.
Cherri leaned closer, then pulled his hood off to get a better look at the boy's face.
"Oh yeah! You're the guy I saw flying around on a balloon. Glad to see you're still kickin', kid. You must have some major fucking guts."
"Well, I managed to find a safe place to stay with some really nice people," Lincoln admitted a bit bashfully.
Both Cherri and Angel chucked at how adorably modest the boy was acting.
"I'm liking him already," she said to her friend.
"I knew you would," the porn star replied.
"Come on, you two. Let's all have a real fucking night on the town!"
A little later, all three of them were driving around the city in a convertible. Cherri was driving, Angel was in the passenger seat next to her, and Lincoln sat in the back middle seat. He was in awe at how beautifully lit up the city was at night. Though some of those places where strip joints and drug shops but the scenery still looked so pretty. He was starting to understand a little of why Charlie thought so highly of this place.
They stopped at a red light. While waiting for the green light, another car full of three male sinners pulled up alongside them. They started making dog noises and sexual body gestures at Cherri, much to her and Angel's annoyance and Lincoln's disgust. Wanting to teach these perverts a lesson, Cherri reached into a compartment and pulled out one of her signature bombs. Seeing the bombs, the harassers stopped what they were doing, but it was already too late for them. With a devious grin, Cherri lit the bomb and handed it to Angel who tossed it into the harassers' car. All three frantically got out before their vehicle exploded. Angel and Cherri laughed and flipped them as they drove away while Lincoln just stared jaw dropped.
"Oh, I've been craving this!" Angel said.
"We should do this more often, I miss you," Cherri replied.
Lincoln watched from the backseat as the two demons chatted and laughed together. It brought a smile to his face to see that friendship was still a thing down here in Hell.
"You know any good hangouts?" Angel asked.
"Boys, prepare yourselves," Cherri responded.
Eventually, they arrived at a bar that was filled with multicolored lights and demons dancing, drinking, doing drugs, and making out. Angel, Cherri, and Lincoln all sat at the bar together.
"Alright, three stiff drin–" Cherri started to order but then remembered the little friend her bestie brought with him. "Wait! Hold no. Linc, how old are you exactly?"
"Twelve," he answered.
"Better make that two stiff drinks," she ordered again. "And a fizzy nonalcoholic one."
The bartender brought them their drinks. Two stiffs for the degenerate adults and one fizzy nonalcoholic for the youngster. Cherri reached into her pocket and pulled something out.
"Hey, Angie," she said to her friend. "Look what I got."
She opened her hand to reveal a couple dual-colored pills.
"Alright!" Angel exclaimed excitedly.
"Time to really let loose, baby!"
The porn actor took one of the pills, popped it in his mouth, and then took a drink.
"Oh yeah!" he exclaimed relieved. "That's that good shit!"
This didn't go unnoticed by Lincoln.
"How about you, kid?" Cherri asked and offered him a pill.
Lincoln stared at the pill with reluctance.
"Just kidding!" she said closing her fist and taking the pill away. "I'll share this shit with Angie, but you're too young."
She popped the pill in her mouth and took a drink. Then she exhaled with relief.
It didn't take long for Lincoln to realize they were doing drugs together. If anyone at the hotel were to find out about this, Angel would be in big trouble with Vaggie.
"Hey kid, why don't you go have some fun on the dance floor?" Angel suggested.
"Are you sure?" a reluctant Lincoln replied.
"Yes. Let loose, bust a move. Enjoy yourself after all that work."
"Okay."
The boy got up, walked out onto the dance floor, and started dancing. His dance moves weren't half bad and were soon noticed by other demons who couldn't help but throw compliments his way. He had his hood up, so they weren't able to notice he was a human. Back at the bar, Angel and Cherri chuckled as they watched him together.
"So, tell me, Angie," Cherri said curiously. "What's a human kid doing down here anyway?"
"Well, that's a very interesting story," he replied and began whispering into her ear.
"No way!" she responded in surprise.
The spider demon replied by nodding his head.
"And the princess thinks he's…"
"Oh yes."
"Holy shit, Angie!" She struggled not to laugh too hard.
"I thought the same thing myself," he admitted. "But don't tell him. Charlie doesn't want us to."
"Well, he's cute and all," Cherri said. Though she wouldn't admit it out loud, she was starting to grow fond of the kid. "But I doubt he can fix everything wrong with this place. Not by himself at least."
Angel's chuckling was interrupted by the ringing of his phone. He pulled it out and a look of dread spread over his face as he saw the name of the caller: VALENTINO.
"Hang on, I need to take this," he nervously excused himself.
Cherri noticed how uneasy her friend became so quickly and watched as he walked a few feet to a corner of the bar.
Angel took a deep breath before nervously answering the call. "Hey, Val."
A male voice was heard from the phone, and it sounded angry.
"Yes, I know I'm not at the porn studio… No, I'm not trying to run away or skip town or anything… No, I'm not calling you a liar… No, I'm not calling you stupid either!"
"Oh shit!" Cherri said unhappily as she realized what was going on.
Lincoln was dancing happily until he noticed Angel Dust was talking on the phone with someone, and by the looks of it, it wasn't a pleasant call. He also noticed Cherri Bomb was still sitting at the bar watching him with concern. The boy decided to check it out.
"What's going on?" he asked returning to the bar.
"Angel's just having a chat with his boss," Cherri bitterly answered.
"I take it he's not a pleasant guy?" the boy asked observing his friend arguing on his phone.
"You have no idea, kid."
Angel continued to listen to the angry ranting coming from his phone with a frustrated expression.
"Sorry, Val. You're breaking up," he said finally having enough. "I'm losing signal."
Just as he hung up, pink smoke emerged from his phone and clung around his neck.
"You think you can get away from me that easy, Bitch?!" a cruel and ominous voice whispered in his ear. "Never forget who OWNS you!"
After the smoke dispersed, Angel was left with a miserable expression on his face. He let out a sigh as he felt almost all the excitement and joy fade from him.
Later on, the trio drove down a highway. However, the mood was not as cheery as before. Both Angel Dust and Cherri Bomb looked miserable. Lincoln had noticed they had been like this ever since Angel answered that call from his boss.
"Angel, is everything alright?" the boy asked concerned.
The porn actor looked back and saw how worried the kid looked. Lincoln had enough on his mind to worry about, he didn't need anymore. Taking a deep breath, he forced a smile.
"Yeah, kid," he assured. "Everything's fine."
Lincoln wasn't too convinced, but he decided not to push the issue.
"Hey, Cherri, how have you been lately?" he asked changing the subject.
"Oh, you know; blowing up fuckers stupid enough to trespass on my turf," she replied. She also managed to smile again.
"Any particular fuckers try to fuck with you?" Angel asked intrigued.
"Well, that one edge lord tried it again not too long ago."
"That guy's at it again?! Ya' think he would've given up by now."
"Who are you guys talking about?" Lincoln asked.
"Just some wannabe kingpin calling himself 'Sir Pentious'," Cherri answered.
"Was he the guy who was piloting that airship?"
"That's him."
"He's been trying to climb the social ladder and conquer Hell ever since he came here in…" Angel explained. "When was it again?"
"I think it was 1888," Cherri said.
"He's been trying to take over Hell that long?!" Lincoln was surprised. "How close is he?"
"About as close as Angie is to going straight!" Cherri remarked.
Both demons burst into laughter. Lincoln couldn't help but chuckle with them. Sounds like this Sir Pentious guy wasn't too much of a threat. It pleased Lincoln to see everyone enjoying themselves again.
Suddenly, a missile came out of nowhere and hit the road in front of them. Cherri managed to swerve the car to avoid the explosion. The car stopped and they waited for the smoke to clear so they could see who was the dipshit stupid enough to try and mess with them.
"Well, well," a sinister-sounding voice cackled. "What have we here?"
To the surprise of Lincoln, but no one else, it was aforementioned Sir Pentious accompanied by a gang of his Egg Boiz who were all armed with various weapons.
"Well, speak of the snake!" Cherri said.
"If it isn't Cherri Bomb, her crack whore friend, and…" the snakelike kingpin noticed Lincoln. "A boy?!" He and his minions wondered what a runt was doing with his two greatest enemies. After a moment, he decided to just brush it off. "Anyway, prepare to meet your ends!"
"You ready for this?" Cherri asked her partner looking ready to fight.
"Fuck yeah, baby!" Angel replied excitedly. "I've been needing this!"
The one-eyed woman pulled out a couple bombs while the spider demon pulled out a tommy gun.
"Sit back kid and watch the show!" Angel instructed Lincoln.
"Attack!" Pentious ordered his minions to charge.
The two demonic friends leapt toward the charging egg horde.
Soon, the highway was lit up with explosions and gunfire. Bombs, bullets, missiles, lasers, and egg shells and yolks were flying everywhere. While Angel and Cherri did battle, Lincoln stayed in the car and kept his head down.
"You think you're so tough because you got lucky last time," Sir Pentious started boasting. "But guess what, you whores! This time I'm ready!"
"Are you going to shoot them with your ray gun, sir?" one of the Egg Boiz asked.
"If so, will you shoot me with your ray gun after?" another Egg Boi asked eagerly.
"Shut up!" the snake demon snapped at his idiotic minions. Then he turned back to his foes. "This time, Alastor isn't here to protect you. And once I'm done with you, I'm pay him a visit next!"
"You sure you want to do that?" Angel asked in a mocking tone. "Cause if I remember correctly, the last time you tried to fight him someone got tentacle raped."
Cherri chuckled at his taunt and gave him a high five while the snake demon's eye twitched furiously.
"We'll see who's still cocky after I blow you to kingdom come!"
Oooo! Kinky!" the adult film star mockingly remarked.
"Oh, Stop That!"
Lincoln watched from the car as Angel and Cherri continued to fight off Sir Pentious's Egg Boiz. However, while they were busy doing that, he noticed the boastful kingpin reach into his coat and pull out what looked like the ray gun his minions had been asking about. Fearing for the safety of his friends, the boy leapt out of the car and dashed toward the fiend as he was taking aim at his multiarmed companion and tackled him to the ground causing him to drop his weapon.
"What the…!" the slithery demon exclaimed taken by surprise.
Lincoln managed to grab the fallen ray gun and was now aiming it at its owner.
"Leave my friends alone!" he nervously demanded; his hands shook as he held the gun.
However, this did not intimidate the fiend who just got right back up and brushed himself off.
"Think you got the upper hand, my dear fellow?" he said. "Well, how about THIS?!"
The snake demon opened his hood and all the eyes around his head area began to emit hypnotic spirals. Lincoln suddenly felt dizzy and for a moment, it looked as if the world around him started to spin. This must be some sort of hypnotic ability. He dropped the gun to try and get a hold of himself, but the snake demon saw his opportunity and reclaimed his weapon. Lincoln had just regained his senses when he felt the fiend's prehensile tail coil around his body and tighten its grip.
"Oh Whores!" Sir Pentious called to his other two enemies.
Angel and Cherri's smiles dropped when they saw their young friend was now in the clutches of their enemy who was holding his ray gun menacingly to his head.
"Now that I have your attention, let's make a deal!" the sinister snake demon said. "Throw down your arms and surrender, or this little one will be needing a new head!"
As the snakelike kingpin cackled at his villainy, the destructive duo was struggling to think of a way to save their little companion.
Lincoln trembled fearfully in the cackling snake demon's clutches. How would he be able to get out of this? Then he noticed that there were eyes going all along his captor's tail. Thinking quickly, he managed to free one of his hands and poke one of the eyes on the tail.
"AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!" the slithering fiend cried in pain and released his hostage.
Now free, Lincoln ran over to Angel and hugged one of his legs. The multiarmed demon knelt down and wrapped all four arms protectively around the boy.
"THAT HURT!" Sir Pentious cried angrily.
"Not as much as THIS will!" Cherri retorted and threw a bomb right at him.
The bomb exploded sending the wannabe supervillain and his minions flying far off into the distance.
"I'LL BE BAAAACCCKKKK!" he proclaimed as he disappeared into the night.
"Anytime, ya' old fart!" the one-eyed bomber yelled back.
"You okay, kid?" Angel asked Lincoln. He sounded genuinely concerned.
"I'm fine," the boy assured.
"Gotta say, you handled yourself pretty well right there, kid," Cherri complimented. "That was some quick thinking."
"Thanks, Cherri," Lincoln replied grateful for the compliment.
"Well, now that that's out of the way, what should we do now?" Angel asked pushing the incident with Sir Pentious aside and eager to continue their night on the town.
"I know another good place," Cherri suggested. "Hop in."
A little later, they arrived at a night club where demons danced, drank, played pool or darts, and did other things as well. All three sat at a table together. Lincoln had just finished telling Cherri Bomb a little more about himself.
"Bloody Hell! TEN sisters?!" the one-eyed bomber exclaimed completely surprised.
"He's got proof," Angel said while Lincoln nodded his head.
"You're a lot tougher than you look, Linc," Cherri complimented and ruffled the kid's white hair.
"Funny, back home I'm not considered one of the toughest kids on the block," he admitted. "I thought I'd be even less here."
"Well, some humans don't know what tough really is until they come down here."
"You say that like you know from experience," Lincoln said.
"Well yeah, I used to be human myself."
"Me too," Angel added.
"So, you're both sinners," the adolescent deduced. "I remember Charlie explaining that sinners are demons who were once humans but were sent down here for their misdeeds when they died."
"That's right," Cherri said. "We're not like those hellborn demons like your princess friend, each and every one of us is fuckin' unique in our own way."
"Do you ever get scared of the Exterminations?"
"Nah, I've had plenty of time and practice, I know how to take care of myself."
"Do you ever regret any of the decisions you made that got you down here?"
Cherri didn't answer that question right away. She and Angel stared at each other for a moment as sad and remorseful frowns slowly formed on their faces.
"We'd be lying if we said we didn't," Angel answered the question knowing his best friend was too proud to do it herself.
"I'm sorry," Lincoln apologized believing his question had just dampened the mood.
"Don't sweat it, squirt," Cherri said ruffling his hair again to cheer him up.
Overall, Lincoln enjoyed his first meeting with Cherri Bomb. He could see how good friends she was with Angel Dust. She could be a bit of a bad influence on Angel, threatening to undo his redemption progress. But despite her tough girl attitude, she was actually really nice. She befriended him almost instantly and her behavior towards him made him see her as a bit of a fun-loving big sister.
Just then, two thuggish-looking demons walked up to the trio of friends.
"Hello, baby," one said to Cherri in a rather perverse tone much to her annoyance.
"Fuck off," Cherri responded to the unwanted intruder.
The other thug sat next to Angel and eyed him lustful which surprisingly creeped out the usually horny porn star.
"Whoa now, how's about we have a fun time together?" the first thug suggested.
"I'm already hangin' out with my mates and don't need anything else," the one-eyed woman defiantly replied.
"I can make it worth your while," the thug offered and pulled out a wad of cash.
"She said she's not interested, okay," Lincoln said coming to the aid of his friend.
"Alright then!" Cherri agreed.
"Cherri?!" Lincoln was in shock at how quickly she changed her mind now that money was involved.
"This place is expensive, kid."
"20 bucks says you can give me a good time, Angel Baby," the other thug said.
"30 if you want a really good time," the porn star haggled.
"Guys?" Lincoln spoke. He was concerned his friends might be getting themselves into trouble.
"Relax, shorty," Angel reassured. "Why don't you go have some fun while the adults have theirs?"
"But…"
"Go on."
Seeing no way to convince his friends, Lincoln sadly got up and walked away.
"Hold on, I'll go get some drinks," the thug hitting on Cherri Bomb announced. "Can't do this somber, now can we?"
Lincoln watched as one of the thugs left the table. Then he noticed another thuggish demon poke his head out from behind a door and signal to the thug to come over, to which the thug did and entered the room. Suspicious, the boy snuck over to the door, which he found was cracked open a bit. He looked inside to see the two demons talking to each other.
"Alright, you got the stuff?" the thug asked.
"Right here," the other demon answered proudly presenting a glass bottle containing some kind of violet liquid. "This shit would make even an overlord a little loopy."
"Perfect," the thug said with malicious delight. "We put some of that in their drinks and both of them will think they're in a whole new plane of existence."
Lincoln quietly gasped when he heard this.
"Be careful though. This is some powerful stuff. Too much with the wrong person will really fuck them up," the third thug warned.
"Doesn't matter. That bitch will be completely helpless, then we'll have our way with her, all night long, however way we want! Then when we're done, we waste her and then her turf will be ours!"
"What about the drag queen?"
"We'll keep him around. I'm sure Valentino will pay a hefty price for the return of his favorite toy."
Lincoln was horrified. He knew these guys were trouble. They were planning on doing terrible things to his companions. He had to stop this! He had to warn them! He hid as the lead thug came back out through the door and walked over to the bar and ordered two drinks. After receiving the drinks, he returned to the room with them. Lincoln peeked inside to find them spiking the drinks with that strange liquid.
"Thank Belphegor!" the third thug said pleased.
"Now, I'll go get our prey," the lead thug said.
Lincoln hid again as he left the room and returned to the table Angel Dust and Cherri Bomb were at. Anxiety filled him as he struggled to think of a plan. Suddenly, the third thug left the room and walked over to the bar to get himself a drink. Seeing his chance, the boy darted into the room. He grabbed the two spiked drinks sitting on a table and began making his way to the door. However, he stopped in his tracks as he saw through a crack the third thug standing right outside drinking his drink. Worse, he saw the other two thugs approaching along with Angel and Cherri. There was no way he could get out without anyone noticing. He could try to explain what he saw to Cherri and Angel, but there was no guarantee they'd listen. Panic began to take over as the poor boy desperately tried to think of a way to stop this.
"Why another room?" Angel asked.
"Just want this to be a special event, Angel Cakes," the lead thug replied. "Trust me, this'll be a night you two won't ever forget."
He opened the door to the private room, only to find that the two spiked drinks were gone.
"What the fuck?!" the lead thug exclaimed angry and confused as he looked around for any sign of the drinks.
Suddenly, everyone heard a small painful groan. It sounded like it was coming from under the table. The lead thug flipped the table over only to find a small boy in a hoodie lying on the floor twitching and groaning with two empty glasses laying right beside him. Angel and Cherri's eyes widened at seeing Lincoln in this disturbing state. Suddenly, the sickly boy vomited on the floor, but there was something wrong; mixed in with the vomit were traces of blood.
"Kid? KID!" Angel cried in horror and rushed over to his young companion's side and cradled him in his arms. The boy's eyes were closed and he was unresponsive. "Kid, say something!"
Cherri picked up one of the glasses and licked one of the drops of alcohol that was still left. Her one eye widened in horror.
"This stuff has been spiked!" she angrily proclaimed. She grabbed the third thug by his coat. "What did you do?!" Then she noticed something in his coat. She reached in and pulled out the bottle of violet liquid. She read the label on the bottle and gasped in absolute horror. "Angie!" She threw the bottle over to her friend, who read the label and became just as horrified.
"You Fucking BASTARDS!" the porn actor yelled furiously at the three thugs.
"Wait! It's not what it looks like!" the lead thug fearfully denied any responsibility. "That stuff was meant for you two!"
"I've gotta get him back to the hotel!" Angel told his friend.
"Right!" Cherri agreed. She turned to the three thugs responsible for this. The look on her face was one of extreme anger. She could handle someone trying to fuck with her, but when they try to fuck with her friends, then the gloves were off! She pulled out a grenade and pulled the pin out with her teeth.
A moment later, the night club exploded from the inside. Demonic patrons ran out as fast as they could to escape the fire. Angel and Cherri came running out of the burning building, the latter carrying the unconscious boy in his arms. Not wasting another second, they hopped into Cherri's car and drove off toward the hotel.
They finally arrived at the hotel. Angel jumped out of the car and ran for the doors carrying Lincoln in his arms. Cherri could only watch with great concern in her eye before driving off hoping for the best. She had really come to like the boy and wanted to see him again soon.
"SOMEBODY HELP!" Angel cried as he burst through the hotel doors.
The hotel residents gasped when they saw a desperate and frightened Angel Dust holding a sickly and unconscious Lincoln in his arms.
"What happened?!" Vaggie yelled.
"Lincoln! Lincoln!" Charlie cried trying to get the boy's attention.
"What happened?!" Husk demanded to know.
"He drank a couple drinks some fuckers spiked with this!" the porn actor frantically explained and showed them the bottle.
The residents gasped in horror when they read what it was.
"We need to get it all out of his system right away!" Husk told everyone.
"Take him to the back room!" Vaggie ordered. "Niffty, get a bucket and some Ipecac!"
"Right away!" the housekeeper acknowledged and ran off to fetch the supplies.
"What can I do?" Angel asked anxiously.
"Just wait here!" Husk told him. "You've done enough."
Angel stood in the lobby and watched as the hotel staff carried poor Lincoln down the hall. He could still hear Charlie frantically calling out his name trying to wake him. The porn star hung his head believing this was all his fault. All he wanted was to show the kid a fun time, but it had all gone wrong.
It felt like an hour had passed. A worried Angel sat at the hotel bar hoping things were going to be alright. Soon, Alastor appeared.
"Well, that could have gone better," the Radio Demon remarked.
"Fuck off, Smiles!" the porn star snapped. "How is he?"
"They're doing everything they can. We can only hope he pulls through."
Angel buried his face in his hands and feared the worst. Then he heard someone return from the hall and enter the lobby. He turned to see it was Charlie, who looked exhausted from all the worry and stress.
"Is he…" the anxious spider demon asked.
"He'll be okay," the princess reassured. "It looks like we got it all out and now he just needs a couple glasses of water and some rest."
Hearing this, Angel breathed a huge sigh of relief. But his moment of relief wouldn't last long. Shortly after, Vaggie came marching from the hall, and she was furious. She marched right toward the porn actor the moment she spotted him.
"Look, I didn't know…" he tried to explain.
SMACK!
The hotel manager slapped him across the face, hard, and knocked him to the ground. That slap appeared to have done more harm than it looked because the usually crass and arrogant spider demon was now cowering in fear and pleading for mercy from someone he normally pokes fun at on a daily basis.
"MALDITO IDIOTA!" she furiously yelled.
"Vaggie!" Charlie cried trying to stop her girlfriend, but Vaggie was too anger to listen.
"I KNEW letting this happen was a bad idea! How could you let this happen?! Do you have ANY idea what could have happened to him?!"
Vaggie's eye burned with rage as she stared down at the frightened Angel.
"It wasn't his fault!" a voice was heard. Everyone turned to see Lincoln had arrived at the lobby with Husk and Niffty. The boy's face looked weak and a little devoid of color and he had a towel draped over his shoulders. "Please, don't be mad at Angel," he pleaded coming to his friend's aid. "I was the one who drank that stuff to save him and Cherri from those guys."
"Stay out of this, Lincoln!" Vaggie ordered not taking her angry eye off the porn actor.
"But it's true! I panicked and acted without thinking…"
"I SAID STAY OUT OF THIS!" the enraged hotel manager yelled turning her angry eye on the boy.
Seeing her glaring back at him like that caused Lincoln to cower fearfully as if she might hurt him too. Seeing how frightened the boy was suddenly made Vaggie's features soften, and her anger slowly melted into a look of horrified regret.
An image of another child, one resembling one of those from Cannibal Town, cowering in fear of his life flashed before her.
Vaggie suddenly felt a stinging pain in the place where her left eye was missing as well as on her back.
"Vaggie, are you okay?" a concerned Charlie asked coming to her girlfriend's side.
"I'm fine," she assured in a quieter and gentler tone. "Lincoln, I'm sorry," she apologized with deep sincerity. "And Angel, I'm sorry, I shouldn't had reacted the way I did," she apologized to the spider demon and extended a hand to help him up.
The porn star put on a strong face and gently denied her help and got back up on his own.
"Well, I think that's enough excitement for one night," Alastor said.
"For once I agree with him," Vaggie agreed. She still had a remorseful look on her face.
"Let's go to bed, everyone," Charlie suggested putting her arm around her girlfriend.
"Well, see you all in the morning," Husk said.
Everyone started leaving the lobby and heading off to get ready for bed before anything else could happen.
Later, Charlie and Vaggie were tucking Lincoln in bed. Despite the scare they had earlier, they were relieved to see he was doing fine. There was a knocking at the door. It opened and Angel Dust poked his head in.
"How are you feeling, squirt?" he asked the white-haired boy.
"Much better now," Lincoln assured him with a smile.
The porn actor walked in and knelt by the kid's bed.
"Please don't scare us like that again," he told him in a surprisingly serious tone for someone of his character.
"I'm sorry, I promise," the white-haired boy promised and smiled warmly. "Thanks for the night on the town."
The spiderlike porn actor's heart warmed at hearing that. Despite the near death experiences, the human child was still grateful for the fun he gave him and in no way blamed him for the troubles that befell him.
"Please, tell Cherri Bomb I said thanks and hope to hang out with her again soon," Lincoln requested.
"Thanks… for looking out for us."
The two smiled at one another and then embraced each other. Charlie and Vaggie watched this tender moment between their first patron and their new bellhop. They had really developed quite the friendship. It was like the two had become brothers.
"Good night, Angel Dust," Lincoln said and laid back in his bed.
"Good night… Lincoln," Angel replied.
The boy's heart filled with warmth at hearing the spider demon say his name for the first time.
With that, the three adults left the room and let the boy sleep. Angel headed off to his room while Charlie and Vaggie headed off to theirs.
"Well, what a night," Vaggie said feeling exhausted.
"At least something good came out of it," the ever so optimistic Charlie said.
Vaggie smiled in agreement. But then her smile faded a little. "When are we going to tell him about the prophecy?"
"Soon, Vaggie. Soon."
