15th Day of Deep Winter 768 n.c - Long Night
I woke early in the morning, just like almost every other day. While the start of the day may be normal, average, the ending would be anything but. It was Long Night, the time of the year when the darkness of night would stretch the longest. It was also a time of celebration. Once the middle of night was declared past, it was a sign that darkness was being vanquished. Everyone would be gathering in the town square. As night-time falls, the boys and men would gather on one side of the square and the women and girls on the other. Father Mattias would say a prayer and the dancing would begin. Separately at first, then when the Mayor rings a bell to declare the middle of night, the younger children would leave with one of their parents (or both if all the children were under seventeen years) and the older unmarried ones would remain to dance with each other. It was a time honoured tradition and was often the start of when couples would begin to 'walk out' with each other. It was going to be Mari's first Long Night long dance, and I had not a doubt in the world that she would be walking out with Tomas afterwards. I had heard about it over and over since Name Day. I had been making full advantage of my ability to roam freely, meeting up every day with Mari to head into town, except of course for the tenday when we both suffered through Father Mattias' longer sermons. We would talk as we walked, inevitably finding our way to the horse hitch opposite the smithy. Every day we spent a fair portion just sitting there talking, or at least I talked while Mari just stared at Tomas in the Smithy ignoring everything that I said. It was a bit painful for me, but I knew that it would be nothing compared to the abandonment that I would feel after Long Night. As such, I had been both looking forward to and dreading the approach of this day.
I wasn't to meet up with Mari today, as we would be seeing each other later at dark. As such, I spent most of the day out in the field with father, picking out the weeds from the field that would be planted with barley the day after long night. While I headed inside to prepare lunch with Mother and the girls, Father and the boys wheeled the last of the collected horse dung from their stable out into the fields. Once lunch was eaten, and the dishes cleaned up, we heated up water in a pot over the fire ready for baths. Father and the boys moved the table against the wall, and brought out the tub. It was a big heavy thing, wooden slats bound with metal, similar to one half of a wine barrel. We brought out some cold water from the well, and then tipped in pot after pot as they became ready until the tub was about half full. While we waited for the water to boil we prepared our contributions to the nights feast. Father had killed a number of rabbits which Mother and used to make a stew in a large pot. One at a time, we used cold water and soap to clean ourselves outside before soaking in the tub. Father first, then Mother, then all of us kids from me to Jara. Once finished, we dried off in front of the fire, while the next came in to take their turn in the bath. Once dry, we emptied another pot of water into the tub and filled it up to put back over the fire. Mother and Father both got dressed while I was in the tub so that they could assist Kara and Jara respectively. Jocam, Illith, Daavid and I took care of ourselves. It was a lovely feeling to soak in the warm water in front of the fire in the middle of deep winter and was a tradition in our house before the Long Night celebrations. Once all dressed, we prepared to leave for Easthaven. Before we left the house Father brought out a bottle of rum and two small wooden cups. Father poured the rum into the cups to quarter fill them and he and Mother both intoned "For warmth to protect from the cold of darkness." before draining their cups in one go. We each took turns doing similar (although father poured less than a quarter into my and Jocam's cups, and much less than that for Illith, Daavid, Kara and Jara). The alcohol went down easily, warming me up from the inside before I went out into the cold. Even though we all wore fur cloaks (or in Father's case, just a woolen cloak), the cold air chilled me right up through my dress, woolen stockings or not.
"I am ever so excited!" exclaimed Mari, when she joined me in the cart, she giggled and hugged me tight. I hugged her back and gave her a kiss on the cheek, smelling rum on her breath when close. She must have had a bit more than even Mother and Father.
"So am I Mari, but I wager not as excited as you." I replied, once I extricated myself from her hug. To no avail, for she grabbed me just as tight around my waist, resting her head on my shoulder. Suddenly she sat up straight, or would have were she not slightly affected by the rum, for she tipped slightly away from me.
"I know!" she exclaimed again, "We should join our cloaks like we used to!"
I smiled at the memory, instead of wearing separate cloaks, we used to join them together to make one big one, then cuddle up inside the tent-like shelter to share the heat.
"What a fantastic idea Mari." I replied, already taking off my cloak. Mari did likewise and I first saw the beautiful new dress that she was wearing. I say dress, but it was more like a gown, or at least what I imagined a ballgown of the sort worn in Castlemere to be like. Missus Meadowbroek must have had it brought in specially for this night. It was pure white and pleated up to under her bust, the green shoulders of her gown came down into a vee in the middle with green lace covering her decolletage to just under her collar bones. The shock of the cold was slowly replaced by a wonderful warmth once we had the now joined cloaks around us. To wrap the cloaks around properly, she had to sit on my lap. We held hands in front of us and wrapping our other arms around each other behind. Our heads were so close that our cheeks touched with each bump and whenever she turned to talk to me directly our lips would oftentimes touch. She blushed a little every time that happened and I confess it probably warmed me up more than the cloak did.
"I confess Sharein," Mari whispered to me, "although I'm excited about tonight and what shall come of it, I feel a little trepidation about the future."
I ran my thumb across the back of her hand and held her a little tighter, "Fret not Mari, for you are deserving of happiness and Tomas is the sort to bring you the Sun and the Moon should you ask."
Mari let out a little scandalised "Oh!"
"I just mean that he would do anything for you Mari, he is as besotted with you as you are with he." I clarified, with a little less blasphemy.
"Oh Sharein," she sighed and paused. She seemed to be trying to make up her mind about something. "I have no worries about me and him, it is me and you that concerns me. I expect that I shall be walking out with him after tonight, then married and then raising children. I shall miss you most heartily."
"I shall miss you also Mari, more than you know, but your heartache for me will lessen with Tomas' love." Mari turned her head around to glance at our Mothers, who were driving the cart. I followed her glance and saw that they were both facing forward, engaged in conversation. When she moved back to look at me, she took her hand from mine and moved it up to lay against my cheek.
"I do know." she said, then she kissed me. Our lips parted and our tongues touched. The kiss felt like it went on forever, a rush of heat burned through me. Light exploded behind my closed eyes and every hair on my body tingled. Me, the world and everything shrunk down to nothing. Until that is, a bump on the road forced us to separate. I opened my eyes but nothing existed except for Mari's flushed face. Her lips moved, but no words seemed to be coming out.
She frowned and the hand that was laying against my cheek was used to poke me on my nose. "Are you even listening to me?" she whispered, her eyes wide and worried.
"Sorry. No." I stammered, somewhat confused.
"No Sharein, I'm sorry. I know. I've known for a while, quite a while. We know each other better than we know ourselves, so how could I not?" Mari explained, "I'm sorry that I can't give you what you want, but that… that was something I could give you, just this once, just now."
I was almost speechless. Gratitude and relief welled up inside me, they warred with the withdrawn sadness that had grown over the years and the heartache the blossomed just now. To hold this Winter's Heart for one brief moment, never to touch it again? It was a pain unimaginable, except for the knowledge that even for that one brief moment, I did get to hold it.
"Oh Mari!" I exclaimed and hugged her as tightly as I could, "Thank you."
"I am certain Sharein," Mari whispered after a moment, "certain that you shall find someone to love who will be able to return it, but I fear that it may not be here in Easthaven."
I wiped away a tear from my eye, "No matter where I end up, you will forever be my Mari." I stated and realised that our talk had made us both feel a little maudlin. In an effort to change that, I asked "So what advice did your mother give you about tonight?"
Although I was left a little shocked by the level of detail in Missus Meadowbroek's advice, our topics of discussion were only minor and inconsequential the rest of the way into town.
Once we arrived, we (Mari, Missus Meadowbroek, Mother, my sisters and I) were dropped off at the Village Green, while Father, Master Meadowbroek and the boys all went to secure the horses and carts. Mother and I carried the great pot of stew over to the tables before we joined the other families waiting on the Green.
We were joined shortly by the rest of our families and all mingled, talking to our friends.
Eventually Mayor Crownever called for everybody's attention "Fine people of Easthaven!" he began, and everybody cheered, "Fine people of Easthaven, here we are at another Long Night! Please eat your fill and drink your fill before the darkness descends upon us! Once darkness falls, as always we will gather in the town square for the dancing. All Hail The Light!"
"All Hail The Light!" Everyone intoned, then let out an almighty cheer, with some raising cups up into the air. We all made our way slowly over to the tables, taking platters or bowls. I slathered a slab of bread with fresh butter and filled up a bowl with our own Stew. I'd often try something different, whenever we had a feast, but the stew smelled delicious. To try to remedy this I added some garlic mushrooms from another bowl into the stew and took a cup of cider from another table. I looked around for Mother and Father and noticed that they were walking towards the same spot we sat for the Name Day feast. I joined them with my meal, sitting down on a blanket mother had thoughtfully brought. The stew was delicious, shiny globs of fat floated on top amidst the chunks of meat and vegetables. The gravy was thick, soaking into and coating the bits of bread I dipped into it. The garlic mushrooms proved to be a fantastic idea, blending into the flavour of the stew perfectly. I may have let out a little bit of an audible moan, attracting Mother's attention. When I noticed this, I lifted up a spoonful for her to try.
"Mmmmmm, delicious." she responded, "What did you add?"
"Garlic mushrooms." I replied
"I shall have to try that next time I make the stew. I've always felt like it was missing something, but nothing ever seemed to fit. I think that this is that thing, Shar." She said, holding me close and kissing me on the forehead.
Sister Tera chose to sit down next to me to eat her meal, I was a little surprised by her presence, but greeted her once I finished my mouthful. She had with her a plate with some fried, battered pieces of duck meat and some salad.
"I've been meaning to thank you, Shar. I went to visit Missus Lethrowe and she was apprehensive at first, but once we explained that she was just the first in what we would be always doing from now on out, she was much happier to take advice and assistance." she told me, "It was a very good idea you had, to provide this support in this way. Although new mother's often receive support from their own mother, the advice might not always be good or their mother may have passed."
I beamed back at her.
"I told Father Mattias that you would make a fine priestess, I don't doubt that opinion for a moment." Sister Tera smiled. "You have a good head on your shoulders."
I blushed a little and ducked my head, embarrassed by the praise from the Sister.
We finished our meals just before darkness fell, packed everything up and we all as one made our way to the town square. One end of the square, backed onto the bakery held the podium from whence the Mayor or Father Mattias would make pronouncements to the village. At the other, open end of the Square a great pile of wood was sitting there ready to be lit as a bonfire. The entire village gathered in the square between the two.
The sunset had spread colour across the sky, but as we gathered silently, twilight fell. Father Matthias stood up onto the podium next to the Mayor. As the darkness descended, the Mayor ordered all lights to be extinguished. People ran into some of the houses to blow out lamps (all fires had already been sanded and re-set in preparation. The mayor held a single shuttered lantern, it was the sole light in the village. A very small amount of light seeped from the shutters, enough to illuminate only the Mayor's hand. Darkness dropped very quickly, no moon was out, as it ever was on the Long Night. Sometimes it would be a clear night and the stars would provide some illumination, but not tonight. Tonight, clouds blocked the stars and soon everything was black as pitch.
"All Hail the Light!" Father Mattias intoned. The entire village repeated, voices from across the village joined together in prayer.
"Once again, people of Easthaven, we have reached the Long Night. The night when the powers of darkness are at their greatest! But fear not!" he preached, "The blessings of Mithras are upon us! Darkness will be defeated this night! Even though Celestine has left, she will return to banish the darkness. All Hail the Light!"
"All Hail the Light!" everyone repeated.
"Come forward" he instructed, and a group of villagers started forward carrying torches, oil soaked linen wrapped around the tops. The Mayor unshuttered his lantern and one by one the torch carriers lit their torches upon his lantern's flame. They spluttered alight, flame dancing in the darkness. Soon ten men and women were standing there holding their flaming brands aloft.
"Mithras has provided our means of defence against the darkness!" Father Mattias continued, "Go forth and provide to each home her protection!"
The men and women went separate ways through the village, entering each house and setting alight their waiting fires. It took a goodly amount of time for every home in the village to be completed, but one by one the torch bearers returned to the front of the podium. Once all ten were present and at an indication from Father Mattias, they moved forward through the gathered villages, who had parted, and threw their torches onto the great bonfire that was waiting.
With a great whooosh! The bonfire took hold and soon the entire town square was illuminated from it's dancing flames.
The Mayor stepped forward this time, "Attention everyone! Please! As Mayor of Easthaven, I declare this Long Night's Dance… begun!"
Everybody cheered, a great cacophony that drowned out the beginnings of the music, for when it finally died down I could hear a fiddle, tambourine and drums already begun.
The first dances were for everybody and, for the first dance at least, almost everybody participated. Some mothers with newborn babes sat off to the side on bales of hay, and some that were too old sat with them (Although I noted that Master Togar did actually dance the first with Sister Tera, a little unsteadily, but the smile on his face made him seem at least twenty years younger). After the first combined dances, the Mayor announced a dance for married couples. Mari and I sat with our brothers and sisters as our Mother's and Father's danced. I watched Father twirl Mother, a bright smile full of joy on their faces. I saw the love there as their eyes never left the other's. Other dances followed, some I danced with Mari and others with my sisters or brothers. Several kegs of beer and wine had been brought out, Father and Mother (and most of the adults) drank liberally.
After one song, the Mayor rang his bell from the podium. "People of Easthaven. It's time for the Long Dance to begin!"
More cheering followed this announcement, although I wasn't sure if the louder came from over near the beer kegs or from those unmarried over seventeen!
While all the dancing previous had been "The Long Night Dances", the "Long Dance" was a special part of it. To start off all the boys and girls danced separately, the song repeating five times. On the fifth repetition the Mayor would ring his bell, and the boys and girls under seventeen would dance back and away, leaving only the unmarried over seventeen to dance together. Mari and I danced the first five together exclusively, both of us laughing and smiling and enjoying the moment. Every time we separated and our hands parted felt like a slight loss, only to be erased when we took each other's hands again. The music was exhilarating, as was my dance partner. Eventually it came time for the bell to be rung again. This was the signal for all those under seventeen to dance away, leaving those seventeen and over to dance together until the sun rose in the morning. Missus Meadowbroek would be staying behind to take Mari home in the morning, just as the father's would be waiting for their sons (although I caught a glance at some near the ale barrels that seemed a little disappointed.).
"I love you Mari." I whispered into her ear.
"I love you too Sharein." she whispered back.
The younger boys and girls were dancing away, but then it struck me, a way I could show Mari how much she meant to me. I took Mari's hand in mine. Even though she remained dancing (as was tradition), I started walking towards the other side of the square where I could see Tomas waiting eagerly.
I heard Mother call out to me "Sharein! It's not your year!" and Missus Meadowbroek reply "Look! She's not dancing", but I ignored them, determined to do this for Mari.
Once we got close, I could see the adoration in Tomas' eyes, he looked all sweaty and unattractive to me, but I knew that wasn't what Mari saw when she looked at him. I risked a glance sideways and my suspicion was confirmed. She saw in him what I, for quite a long time, saw in her. Slowly, I took Tomas' hand in my left and brought their two hands together. Even though neither looked at me, I knew how much Mari would appreciate the gesture. Slowly I backed away, blinking tears from my eyes as I watched them dance their first dance together.
It was a little funny, I acknowledged, the heartbreak wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I almost walked backwards right into Missus Meadowbroek, who enveloped me in a tight hug and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
Once we were seated in the cart, Mother put her arm around me and apologised "I'm sorry Shar, I wasn't aware of your intentions. I shouldn't have doubted you, it was a wonderful gesture."
I nodded and smiled a little. Even though I said nothing, remaining deep in thought, she kept her arm around me all the way home.
