17th Day of Deep Winter 768 n.c
How did my hair turn black? Black like Shard's? Was it something to do with the oath? It was a shock, that's for sure. Not entirely unwelcome though, I was always a little jealous of Brahdi's blonde hair, that was so different from everyone elses.
Mother had come over to me, to inspect my hair. She ran her hand down the length of the braid and inspected her hand in shock.
"How?" she asked herself, then turned towards Father, "It's not coal powder, her hair is actually black."
She looked closer at my face, "Her eyebrows also!"
Father came to look at my hair as well, then my brothers and sisters.
"Mama!" said Kara, "I want black hair too!"
"How did you do this Sharein?" Mother asked me.
"I don't know Mother," I answered truthfully.
"I like it Shar," said Kara and Jara at the same time.
"Come sit and eat Sharein, before it gets cold," Mother instructed me, and we all sat down to eat dinner.
It was delicious, but the curious looks from both Mother and Father meant that there would be more questions once dinner was finished. The upcoming questioning conflicted with my hunger from the day of fasting. Nevertheless, even though I still managed to eat it all, the dumplings and stew sat uneasily in my stomach. After dinner, Mother and Father sent the younger children off to bed while I washed the dishes from dinner. I finished them at about the same time that Mother and Father came back into the dining room.
We all sat down at the table, I looked down at the table waiting for Mother to say something. When nothing was immediately forthcoming I tentatively looked up at her. She was just staring at me, she looked very concerned.
"Where did you go today, Sharein?" Mother finally asked, "What happened?"
I winced, trying to think of various possible answers before finally settling on simply "The forest."
"The forest?" Mother asked, "The Shadow Forest? The one that nobody is allowed into?"
"Yes?" I said.
Mother sighed, "And what happened?"
"Nothing Mother," I lied, not at all comfortable with it. I was sure that she knew.
"How did your dress get dirty and torn?" she questioned.
"I fell over a small cliff," I stated.
Mother's eyes narrowed at me, "Go to bed Sharein. Tomorrow we shall go and see Father Mattias."
"Yes Mother," I meekly responded.
"Leave your dress out so that I can mend it before we go," Mother ordered.
"Yes Mother," I again replied before heading to bed. Sleep came very slowly, thoughts of tomorrow worried me, but my last thought was of Shard.
—-
18th Day of Deep Winter 768 n.c
—-
I woke from a dream about Shard. It wasn't the same one where we were dancing though. The details were hard to keep, it kept slipping from my memory like trying to catch smoke. We were talking; she was asking me questions about my childhood, my family and my friends. It was a very nice dream at least and it had done a lot to dispel any residual anxiety I had from the previous night. As usual it was still dark out and my little sisters were still soundly asleep when I got up and went outside to make water and freshen up. My dress, mended, was waiting for me when I opened my bedroom door.
Coming back inside I went into the kitchen to help Mother with breakfast.
"Good morning Mother," I greeted her when I saw her.
"Good morning Sharein," she replied flatly, she looked exhausted.
"Are you alright Mother?" I asked, concerned.
"Yes Sharein," Mother answered, sounding slightly more awake, "just tired. It's something you will learn to live with when you have children of your own."
I nodded to her, I felt guilty, I knew that she was worried about me. But how could I tell her that there was no need for worry without violating my oath? I couldn't think of any way to reassure her.
Mother finished kneading the dough she was working on, put it into a bread tin and then into the oven. She then cleaned her hands in a bowl of water and patted them on her apron.
"You know that you can talk to me about anything Sharein, anything at all." Mother said, and I almost believed that I could. Enough that I almost blurted out my one big secret that I could actually share. But I thought, no matter how much Mother believes that she could accept, I just didn't think she could accept that one thing about me.
We continued preparing breakfast in silence. Once we were joined by everyone else, breakfast was eaten in relative silence, from Mother and myself at least. Once breakfast was finished and everything was cleaned and packed Mother, the girls and I made our way into Easthaven and straight to the Church. Some people in Easthaven pointed at me and exclaimed in shock as we passed. We were welcomed at the door by Sister Tera, who expressed shock at seeing me.
"Sharein, by the light, what did you do to your hair?" She exclaimed, "I've never seen hair like it!"
"That's why we are here Sister," Mother answered, "she was in the forest and came home like this, she could tell us what happened. Do you think that she may have been cursed?"
"Cursed?" I almost shouted, "I haven't been cursed."
"Well now," Sister Tera spoke a lot more softly, "that is something that I can discover. Come inside and we shall find out."
I followed Sister Tera inside and into her workroom, with Mother and the girls close behind. Sister Tera indicated for me to sit onto a chair and she sat on another chair she pulled opposite.
"Just relax now and I shall call on Mithras to provide answers." She said quietly.
I sat still, awaiting a reaction as Sister Tera whispered her prayers.
After a moment, without any reaction from her prayer, Sister Tera said "It's not a curse."
Sister Tera looked thoughtful for a moment, "There are two options I can think of at the moment, but I will only do either of them with just Sharein herself present. Would you mind waiting outside?"
"Of course Sister," Mother answered and ushered my sisters out of the room.
"Firstly, before I do anything, I'd like to ask you some questions Sharein." Sister Tera said.
I nodded, unsure, a bit nervous. Sister Tera already knew one of my secrets.
"Do you know how your hair came to be this way?"
"I didn't know that my hair had changed until I got home," I answered truthfully, "but I could guess at what caused it."
"Can you tell me what you think it might have been?"
I shook my head, no.
"Do you want to tell me, but can't?" She asked, "Is something preventing you from doing so?"
I thought about it for a few moments, without my oath to Shard it would be something that I otherwise would have told Sister Tera. I nodded a little.
"I could say a prayer to compel you to tell me the truth…" she began.
"No, you mustn't!" I almost shouted. I didn't know whether her prayer would be more powerful than the oath, but I didn't want to risk it. I didn't want to risk Shard.
"No, Sharein, I shan't. It is something that I would be very reluctant to do to many people, but you especially. Instead I can perform a ritual to commune with Mithras. Mithras shall provide me with answers," she explained.
I nodded a little, unsure. If Mithras provided the answer, then I wouldn't have broken my oath. But I was still wary, I didn't want to make Shard disappointed in me. There was nothing that I could do though, I couldn't tell Sister Tera not to perform her ritual. Sister Tera stood up and made her way to the smaller altar that sat against one side of her workroom. She knelt on a cushion and lit some candles on the altar.
She prayed for a short while before finishing with a much louder "All hail the light."
"All hail the light," I repeated quietly, out of habit.
Sister Tera let out a loud breath as she stood up and made her way back to where I sat. She looked worried, confused.
"It's not a curse," she said, more to herself than me, "but it's not doing you any harm."
Then she spoke to me properly, "Mithras could not provide an answer on the reason for your hair, but she did tell me that it wasn't doing you any harm. So that's something. I must confess that it is causing me some distress, I've never come across something that Mithras herself could not reveal."
She looked at me oddly then, "Sharein. Did you swear an oath?"
My reaction must have confirmed the answer without me saying anything.
Sister Teras eyes went wide, "Did you do it voluntarily? Are you in any danger? Who? No, don't answer that."
I let out a sigh of relief, "Yes and no, I'm not in any danger, quite the opposite."
Sister Tera started to say "Does it have something to do with you…" but corrected herself again, "No, don't worry. You aren't in any danger. That's enough for me. But it does mean that we may need to have a word to Malkarov and see if he can take you as an apprentice early. I shall have a word to your mother and Father Mattias."
Sister Tera stood up, "Come along, I shall let your mother know that there is nothing to fret over."
Together we left Sister Tera's work room and headed back out into the Church proper. Mother was there talking to Father Mattias, with the girls.
Mother looked straight at Sister Tera as we approached and seemed to take our expressions for good news.
"Sharein," she said, handing me some coins, "why don't you take the girls to the bakery and buy yourselves a pastry each? I shall catch up to you shortly."
I looked apprehensively at Sister Tera, but she smiled at me in reassurance.
"Yes Mother." I said to her, "Come along girls."
I herded Illith and Kara out of the Church and towards the bakery.
"You get to keep your hair?" Kara asked me as we walked.
"Yes Kara," I replied, "I get to keep my hair."
"Oh good, I like it." she said, and Illith nodded in agreement.
"Oh my goodness!" I heard someone yell from behind me as I felt my hair being lifted off my back. I frowned and spun around, causing my hair to pull out of their hand (most of it at least).
Brahdi was standing there with a shocked look. "I'd heard somebody say that you went into the church with black hair and I rushed straight down here to find out!" She recovered quickly.
I smiled at her bluntness and she followed up very quickly with a demand, "You must tell me how to do this. I mean, I love my hair, but I'd love to have a change."
"If I knew how to give you hair like this," I said, "I'd love to. But it's a mystery for now."
"How do you not know?" she asked incredulously.
I shrugged, "Sister Tera looked at it and told me that I wasn't cursed. I can't remember it changing."
Brahdi looked quite disappointed for a moment, but brightened back up quickly, "Oh well, at least I'm still one of the few with this hair."
Kara tugged at my dress and I smiled down at her, "Yes Kara. Sorry Brahdi, we are off to the bakery to fetch ourselves some pastries."
"Of course!" Brahdi replied with a smile, "I should probably get back to the chores I was doing when I heard the news, Mother will have a fit if she comes back and finds me not there."
We headed off together to the bakery. Brahdi chatted about the current town gossip as we walked. I tried to ignore the stares of people as we passed.
When we reached the bakery, Brahdi went immediately behind the counter to fetch our pastries.
Just as I was about to pay, I heard Missus Imbier shout from out the back "Brahdi, girl! You haven't finished the kneading!"
Brahdi went wide eyed as I put the copper bits in her hand.
Missus Imbier came through the door from the back rooms and Brahdi just pointed at me. Missus Imbier was a plump woman wearing a big white apron over her dress. Her blonde hair was braided over her shoulder. She looked at me in shock.
"Sharein, dear, what have you done to your hair?" She asked.
I smiled a suffering smile, "I don't know."
The girls were munching on their pastries, dropping crumbs on the floor of the bakery, so I started shooing them out the front door, "Girls, out. You're dropping crumbs on the floor. Sorry Missus Imbier."
"That's all right dear." Missus Imbier said as we left.
Once we got outside and the girls started on their pastries again, I spotted mother coming down the road. We all ate while mother went into the bakery to get herself a pastry and then made our way back to the cart to head home. Mother didn't say anything as we walked, but one we were out of sight of town I tentatively asked her if Sister Tera or Father Mattias had said anything further about my hair.
"Sister Tera said that there wasn't anything to worry about, although she did mention that it might be a good idea to see if we could get you apprenticed to Malkarov, and Father Mattias agreed."
It sounded exciting. I had no wish to be a housewife and no other trades interested me at all. As much as I loved cooking, the Inn didn't need anyone else to help in their kitchen.
Mother glanced at me slyly and added, "I shall have a discussion with Father about it. I have no issue with it, if it is something that you wish to do. However they suggested that you start it before your fourteenth name-day."
I understood mother's unease. Apprenticeships never started until the apprentice had had their fourteenth name-day.
Mother continued, "You know that I've never been one to care too much about tradition as such, but this is something I shall definitely have to discuss with Father."
I smiled and hugged her, "Thank-you Mother. It is something that sounds extremely interesting."
"Well," she said, returning the hug, "we shall see."
****AUTHORS NOTE****
Thank you for reading everyone! Please please please leave me a review if you like it, I live for them.
The fictionpress edition will be updated soon, once I've had a chance to go over the last few chapters to correct and add in a little.
If you are a reader of Emi Chan in Rand-Land, I'd just like to let you know that I've kind of painted myself into a corner that I'm not sure how to get out of. I can't figure out the discussion between Emi, Moiraine, Nynaeve, Elayne and Egwene where it would not influence the canon at all. Bugger. There are things that Emi would definitely say that would provide information to each of them much earlier than they discover it in the books. If Emi returns to Emond's Field, then people there would have information that they wouldn't otherwise (Emi wasn't necessarily going to be returning, but if I went that route then things would be ruined.).
In the meantime, I hope you are enjoying Darkness' Love.
