19th Day of Deep Winter 768 n.c
AUTHORS NOTE: Sorry everyone. I mixed up the dates a bit and wrote a new chapter to go between the old Chapter 11 and 12. So... this chapter is basically the same as the old chapter 11. The new chapter 12 will be NEW and the new chapter 13 will be basically the same as the old chapter 12, with only a few differences.
So... if this is your first time reading, don't worry It will all look like it should. If you *were* caught up, you could just read the new chapter 12 and then either read again or skip chapter 13. Thanks and sorry!
Please please please review and follow if you like my story. I live for praise!
I woke up early, as usual and after preparing for the day I took myself off to see Shard in the forest. Mother didn't ask where I was going, but I felt like she knew, I told her that I would be back to help with dinner. The walk was nice, the forest as usual was just as dark as it was the last time I ventured in there, but it no longer felt intimidating or foreboding. It felt safe and welcoming. Maybe it was just the feelings I was experiencing in anticipation of seeing Shard again? I didn't see the dire wolves again, but I did hear them howling nearby. Even that didn't send the shiver of fear down my spine that I would normally have expected. I made my way down the trail near the cliff (I was *not* going to take the quick way down ever again), and entered the clearing.
Shard was there, sitting on the altar. She was frowning and looking down at her swinging feet in consternation. I stood there for a moment, watching her. The longer I stood there, the more the feelings welled up inside of me, filling me until I was fit to burst. These feelings propelled me forward at a run. Shard looked up at the sound and her features lifted into such a joyous mein that I felt must surely be a copy of mine. We crashed together, arms wrapping around each other in such tight embrace it felt like we were trying to squish our two bodies into one. I felt right, correct, like there was nowhere else in the entire world I should every be. The coldness of her body did nothing more than temper the heat inside me, preventing me from combusting into flame there on the spot. I tilted my head back to look at her, and she looked up at me with my movement. Tears were slowly meandering their way down from her slightly upturned eyes, over her defined cheek bones and down her pale cheeks.
"What's wrong?" I asked, concerned that she might be unhappy about something.
"Nothing at all," she whispered back, her lips curving into an even greater smile, "I'm just so happy you came back."
I lent forward to touch my nose to her dainty and slightly upturned one and my forehead to hers.
"Don't be silly," I admonished playfully, "of course I came back."
"I was afraid you wouldn't," she whispered back, her breath smelling slightly like the Winter's Heart flowers that matched her eyes, "I've been alone here for so very long. I thought that I might have scared you away."
"I can think of nothing you could ever do, that would scare me enough to not return." I reassured her, before giving her a kiss on her forehead.
We broke apart then and she took my hand in hers. She led me towards the altar and we sat down next to each other, hand in hand.
"I was worried that the priestess in town might have forbidden you to come back, or your family," she confided after a moment.
"Sister Terra asked Mithras some questions about the secret I was keeping and realised that I had sworn an oath." I explained, "But once I reassured her that I wasn't in any danger, she worried no longer. But I am to be apprenticed to the Wizard Malkarov, perhaps, earlier than my fourteenth name-day."
"Apprenticed to a wizard!" she exclaimed, "That's fantastic news. The arcane is an important force running through everything, the use of that is a noble profession."
I felt myself blush and she asked "What significance is there of doing this before your fourteenth name-day?"
I looked at her confused, "Nobody gets apprenticed prior to their fourteenth name-day. Ever."
"Oh." she replied with a smile, "So you'll be the first?"
"I might be the first." I corrected, "Depending upon whether or not Mother and Father let me."
"I have some questions," I began, forcing myself to say those words in order to broach a topic I was hesitant to head into.
Her smile faded, and I mentally kicked myself for taking that away from her.
"I thought you might, I would have been wrong about you if you didn't." she said tiredly, she looked wary and almost afraid.
I thought about the questions I wanted answers to, and how to ask them in a way that would not hurt her.
"How old are you? Why are you out here in the middle of the forest?" I asked quickly.
"I'd like to know how old you think I am, if I may?" she asked after a moment of hesitation.
"Well, you look to be about my age, but you aren't from Easthaven and that makes it a little odd that you are out here," I answered.
She took in a deep breath and asked me steadily, "Do you mind if I tell you a story first?"
"Of course not!" I replied, "I do so love a good story."
She lifted her leg up onto the altar and turned to face me, I copied her and she took my other hand as well, looking me in the eyes as she told me the story.
Once, long ago, there was nothing but darkness and her name was Tenebrae. She was alone and lonely and desired company. She begged her Mother to create something to end her loneliness and her Mother complied. Mother created Mithras, our world. For a long time it was just Tenebrae and Mithras and they grew close, but Mithras felt barren and empty. She grew to desire more and begged Mother to create something for her to look after and protect. Mother told her that she could be given what she desired, but that it might harm her relationship with Tenebrae. Mithras told Tenebrae of her desires and Tenebrae promised that she would let nothing come between them. Together they begged Mother to create this thing, this 'life' so that they might have something to love and protect. Mother relented, but reminded them that what they get might be more than they wished for. Together they assured Mother that they were alike and resolute in their decision. Mother created light and named her Celestine, the Sun. Celestine shone brightly and wherever her light touched, darkness, Tenebrae was banished. Between the two was Mithras. Tenebrae was incensed and complained to Mother that she had created her complete opposite, that this was not what they desired. Mother told her that she was not yet finished and that life could not be created without Celestine. Tenebrae returned to Mithras, using Mithras to keep her shielded from Celestine's light. They waited as Mother created life. First came the plants, springing up wherever Celestine's light touched. Mithras begged Celestine to shine her light around, so that life could appear everywhere. Celestine happily complied, forcing Tenebrae to retreat from her. When the light from Celestine retreated, Tenebrae's darkness took over and life slowly began to die. Mithras begged Celestine to continue to move so that life could be sustained. Once again Celestine happily complied. Tenebrae grew angry and jealous. Mithras knew that Tenebrae could not exist where Celestine was and Tenebrae felt like she was being replaced. Worse was that life also could not exist where Tenebrae was. Tenebrae's existence killed the thing that Mithras most desired. But Tenebrae had promised that she would let nothing come between them. After the plants came the animals and with them came Man. Time passed and Man grew to love both Celestine and Mithras, thanking both in their prayer. But their prayers to Tenebrae were begging and entreating her not to kill them, they were fearful of her. They wished that Tenebrae would go away and leave them alone. It was not Tenebrae who let Man come between her and Mithras, it was Mithras. Mithras grew to love Man more than she loved Tenebrae. She grew to love Celestine for her part in protecting Man. Mithras began to hate Tenebrae for killing her life, accusing her of not caring for them and for breaking her promise. In a fury she went to Mother and begged her to create something to help her protect Man from Tenebrae. Mother again told her that what what she asked may not be exactly what she wanted but Mithras was determined and asked Celestine for her help to convince Mother. Mother acquiesced and took from Celestine her purity of light. She created from this, Luna, the Moon. Luna could withstand Tenebrae and protect life from her but could not herself, withstand Celestine's light. Now there was Luna between Tenebrae and Mithras. Tenebrae grew angry, but could not approach Mithras for every time she tried to get close, she was prevented by Luna.
A great battle they waged, but they were so closely matched that they could not hold sway for long. With Celestine's purity of light gone to make her sister Luna, her light became harsh and dangerous. Too long in Celestine's light and Man began to burn and blister. Celestine no longer loved Man, with her purity gone she neither loved nor hated them, but her light was still required for life.
"This is why, sometimes when you look up into the night's sky, you cannot see Luna." Shard said, "It's because Tenebrae is winning."
I sat there shocked at her story. It was such a far cry from the sermons preached to us by Father Mattias. Tenebrae wasn't some dark and evil force, out to kill everyone. She was merely trying to get back to Mithras, to end her loneliness. It made so much sense.
We continued talking about Tenebrae and Mithras, Luna and Celestine until the early afternoon. I felt no hunger while I was with her, and we did not release our hands from the other's for the entire time. I relayed to her the stories told to us by Father Mattias, and she countered them with stories of her own. So many things we had been taught, I had never thought that there may be another side to. Our discussions veered eventually onto other topics when she began to ask me questions about my life. She asked me about Mari, and I confessed that I felt like I should have been missing her more than I was since she was officially walking out with Tomas, but that I was happy to have Shard here instead.
"I suppose that in a year or so, you will be walking out with a boy from Easthaven also?" she asked me and I felt like I could see a great sadness in her eyes at the prospect.
I didn't even wrestle with the answer for even a moment, which should have shocked me.
"No, I'll never walk out with a boy." I said without hesitation, "I like girls in the way that I should like boys."
A huge weight disappeared from me almost the moment I uttered those words and just as that weight left me the sadness in her eyes disappeared and they shone with what I dared to hope was… hope. I admonished myself. 'Don't be silly Sharein.'
I realised with a start, that it was the first time I had really said it out aloud and as I started to feel even a little anxious, Shard squeezed my hands lightly. I felt grounded with her, I felt unnaturally sure of myself.
"Oh?" she exclaimed, sounding surprised then happy.
"That's good. You can keep coming back here to me forever then," she declared.
"I'd like nothing more," I confessed, blushing all the more and smiling down shyly.
She put one finger underneath my chin and slowly lifted my head so that I was looking her in the eyes again. I felt myself freeze, I was unable to move. She leant a little bit closer to me, our noses were almost touching.
"There are things we can do about that." She whispered, "Later though."
"But now," she said louder, moving back away from me, "it seems that it's about time for you to go."
I looked towards the sun and realised with a start that it was indeed, probably past time for me to go.
It wasn't until after I had regretfully said goodbye, with a promise to return the day after next, and was almost at the farmhouse when I realised that she hadn't actually answered my questions.
