Chapter 13

AUTHORS NOTE: Sorry everyone. I mixed up the dates a bit and wrote a new chapter to go between the old Chapter 11 and 12. So... this chapter is basically the same as the old chapter 12. The new chapter 12 will be NEW and the new chapter 11 will be basically the same as the old chapter 11, with only a few differences.
So... if this is your first time reading, don't worry It will all look like it should. If you *were* caught up, please read the new Chapter 12 and then either read this again or skip it and wait for chapter 14 (not too far away) Thanks and sorry!
Please please please review and follow if you like my story. I live for praise!

29th Day of Deep Winter 768 n.c

I woke as usual and assisted Mother with breakfast. Father and the boys were about to head out to repair some fences when I let Mother know that I would be going out but would return again to help prepare dinner. Her lack of questioning when I returned every day during this tenday had me a little concerned, not once had she even asked me how my day had been. She seemed to be growing more and more distracted. The simple nod she gave me only increased my concerns today. I put my concerns out of my mind and grew excited at the prospect of seeing Shard again.

I beat Father out the door and almost skipped all the way to the forest's edge. The smell of Winter's Heart cleared my nose and my mind and gave me a sense of a soul cleansing euphoria. I followed the path I had taken the previous day, my excitement growing at each step.

I stepped around a tree at the edge of the clearing and saw her sitting there on the altar. She seemed to be staring intently at something up at the top of the cliff. I was just about to call out to her when her head whipped around and she looked at me in worry and concern. Quickly she put one finger to her lips in a 'shushing' motion and held a hand up to 'stop'.

I nodded to her to let her know that I understood and waiting, watching the top of the cliff when she also returned back to looking there. Presently I was rewarded with a flash of blue from a slim gap between some trees. I looked at the spot curiously but didn't see any more movement. Shard was looking further towards the right, towards the path down. She put her finger to her lips again, then waved me forward. I nodded to her and slowly walked into the clearing.

"Don't talk," she said once I was close, "you are the only one who can see and hear me but some might get a sense that I am here. Your mother is one of those."

I raised one eyebrow questioningly, remaining silent.

"Oh yes." she giggled, "It's definitely your mother, it looks like she has followed you. Sit next to me and remember that she can't see or hear me. She'll be here momentarily."

I sat next to Shard patiently and felt a spark shoot up my arm when she placed her hand over mine. I looked down at my hands in surprise and glanced up at Shard. She returned my shy smile.

"She comes," she whispered and I looked across to the edge of the clearing I had just come from.

Mother walked around the same tree I did to enter the clearing, she looked shocked and pale. Oh so pale. I scared me how pale and fragile she looked.

"Mother?" I asked.

"I'm alright," she reassured me, "it's just a shock seeing it again. And seeing you here."

"What do you mean, seeing it again?" I asked.

Mother approached me and held out her hand. I stretched out my free hand to take hers. The colour seemed to be returning to her face slowly.

"There's something I need to tell you Sharein, I knew this was where you were coming without you even telling me." She began.

"When your Father and I were first married, we tried for a baby. We tried and tried. I could just not hold on to one. I miscarried time after time. I prayed to Mithras, I spent every day in the Church in town, but still it kept happening. Finally, my Mother, your Grandmother brought me here. Into the forest, to this altar. It was dusk when we came on a night when Luna was hidden. My Mother instructed me to stay here all night, praying. To light no candle, no torch, not even a spark; and not to leave, not to stop until sunrise. My Mother came to fetch me at sunrise. The very next week Sharein, you were conceived. She told me that's what she did to have me and that's what her mother did to have her and her mother before her and her mother before her and so on."

"Jocam?" I asked.

"No, your brothers and sisters were conceived and stuck normally. Just like my Uncle Torad. One day, when you find yourself unable to have a baby you will have to do the same." Mother explained.

"Our family has always followed the old ways Sharein," Mother continued, "I don't know who this altar is to, it isn't Mithras' altar. Whoever it is, though, is listening."

Shard was stroking the back of my hand with her thumb, but I dared not look at her, I smiled at mother. Someone is definitely listening.

"Sharein?" Mother asked, "Did you see this place when you cut yourself?"

I nodded to Mother, who let out a sigh of relief and engulfed me in a hug.

"That's a relief Sharein, if I had known, I wouldn't have worried so much," Mother confessed.

Mother kissed me on the cheek, "I had better get back to rescue Father from your sisters. When we go to church tomorrow, Sharein, we shall let Father Mattias know that we approve of your early apprenticeship."

I jumped up off the altar and hugged Mother, "Thank-you!"

Shard stepped off the altar as well to hug me from behind. Sandwiched between Mother and her felt so very comforting. Mother stiffened in my embrace, she stepped back a couple of paces.

"Ooops." whispered Shard from behind me.

"What's wrong?" I asked, not directing the question to either of them in particular.

"I touched her." Shard whispered at the same time Mother said "I felt something, someone else."

Mother looked to the side, as if she had heard a noise and was trying to listen more closely for it. Shard froze behind me, her hands on my hips.

Mother shook her head, "It's an old place here Shard. I felt it too, the night that I prayed for you. Something is here looking out for us, I'm sure of it."

She kissed her hand and placed it on my cheek. It was a sign of affection that she performed only rarely and it set forth a wave of comforting warmth.

"Pick some onion grass from near the second field for dinner when you head home please," Mother said as she started walking back home.

"Yes Mother." I called out as I sat back up on the altar, watching her walk out of sight into the forest.

Shard hopped back up next to me and I felt her entwine her arm in mine and put her hand over mine once again. I felt a pressure as she leaned closer and dropped her head to rest on my shoulder. I tilted my head to rest against her and we stayed like that, silently until we saw Mother wave to me from the top of the cliff. I waved back and she turned to walk away to home.

"Shard?" I whispered.

"Yes?" she answered, just as quietly.

"Did Mother pray to you for me to be born?"

She didn't reply for a few moments until she whispered, even quieter "Yes."

It took me a while to think about the implications of this. Without Shard's intervention, I wouldn't even exist. Everything fell into place, the things she had asked me; the things she had told me. The things mother had just said.

"Shard?" I whispered again.

"Yes?" she answered again, quietly, after a moment of hesitation.

"Are you Tenebrae?"

She didn't answer, so I turned my head to look at her. She was looking down at her lap. My movement made her jerk and look across at me. Even if she was Tenebrae, the God of Darkness, I can't have made up the way I feel everytime we touch. The feelings were true, the way she made me feel. I looked into her eyes and could see the worry, the fear. I needed some way to reassure her. I reached up with my other hand to cup the side of her face, using my thumb to gently stroke her cheek. It was something I remember seeing father do to mother a few times, when I was younger. A sign of reassurance, of affection. I wasn't thinking, when I followed through with what dad usually did. I leant forward and gently placed my lips to hers. I froze on contact, she froze on contact.

I started to panic. Why, oh why did I do that? What if she's disgusted by this? By me? She won't want me to ever come and visit her. She'll push me away. Why isn't she pushing me away? I opened my eyes a crack, and saw her blue eyes opened wide in surprise. Her lips opened a little bit and I felt something brush against the loose hairs at the back of my neck. I started to pull back, but her hand clasped down firmly on my neck, keeping me there. I felt tingles all down my back from the contact, spreading out all over my body. I parted my lips a little and I felt something firm pushing between them, begging them to widen even more. Shard was pushing her tongue into my mouth! I tentatively licked at her tongue and the sensations almost sent my body into shock. Tingles of excitement radiated all over my body, swarming all over but mostly centered around a point between my legs. The feelings were incredible, I felt like nothing else could ever feel as great as this! Our tongues touched each other, twirled around each other. I pushed into her mouth, swiping along her lips as I went past. It was glorious!

Eventually, after an eternity, her hand slid around from the back of my neck to cup my cheek like I was doing to her. We parted a little and I looked down at her gorgeous lips, a little redder and puffier than before. A small thread of saliva still joined our lips together, growing taut as we separated. I let out a few giggles when it finally reached its breaking point and two separate strings latched themselves onto our chins. I brought my hand from Shard's cheek and used it to wipe away the wetness, but when my fingers touched my lips it somehow reminded me of what we had just done. I felt my cheeks getting hotter and Shard started blushing as well. Taking my fingers from my lips, I looked down at them in shock.

I had kissed her. I didn't mean to, I've never ever been that bold. Why did I do that? Does it matter why? Shard kissed me back. Shard. Kissed. Me. Back.

"Yes." Shard whispered.

"Yes?" I asked, louder, shocked at hearing her voice.

"Well, yes and no." she clarified in a normal tone, "I both am and am not Tenebrae. Just as a shard is a sliver from a whole; I am a small part of Tenebrae, separated from the main, with a small part of her power. While I still think of myself as Tenebrae, I am aware that I am only a small fraction of what was... What is."

"And you kissed me back." I blurted out, immediately regretting it. My eyes widened and I wanted to just crawl away and hide in a dark cave for the rest of my life.

She giggled and I felt so much worse. She must have sensed my embarrassment as she stopped her giggles and nodded at me with a smile and kind love-filled eyes. "And I kissed you back."

"What.." I stammered. Obviously my brain had stopped working and words were just flowing freely out of my mouth, "what does it mean?"

"Well…" Shard stretched the word out, "You kissed me. I liked it. I kissed you back. I hope you liked it. If you did, it's an experience I would be more than happy to repeat at any time… maybe for ALL time."

Whatever flickering candle-like flame existed inside my mind fizzled out at her words.

"You would?" I asked, once I worked my way through what she said for the fifth time, "You would want to kiss me more?"

"Don't you?" she asked with a grin that belied the mock expression of shock on her face.

"Of course I do!" I exclaimed, standing up, facing her and taking both of her hands in mine, "Why wouldn't I? You're gorgeous and amazing. Kissing you has to be the single greatest moment of my life!"

Her smile lit up her face and she fair pounced off the altar, arms wrapped around my neck and legs wrapping around my hips. Being bigger than me, she knocked me straight off my feet and I landed on my bottom with her weight resting on my upper legs and the rest of her body held tight against mine. Her hug was only brief and I began to protest when she loosened her hold of me. My protests were cut short when she aligned our faces and her lips once again captured mine.

We parted another eternity later, both panting and flushed. At some point I had fallen backwards so that I was lying on the ground and she was on top of me, legs straddling mine. The pressure of her on top of me just added to the experience.

We spent the rest of the day alternating between talking about anything and everything, and kissing. Kissing standing up, sitting, lying down; side by side, or one on top. Suffice to say, that if it weren't for Shard's ability to heal my injuries, the evidence of how we spent our time would have been blatantly obvious on my lips (and one spot on the side of my neck that left my body almost shaking in pleasure when Shard decided to try something new on the last occasion.)

It was Shard that had to remind me that it was time for me to go, to collect onion grass on the way home and that I wouldn't be seeing her on the morrow as I had to go to church.

I stopped in shock as I stepped out of the forest.

How was I going to go to church to pray to Celestine when I was kissing Tenebrae the Goddess of Darkness?