When He Sees You Cry
~ REVISED ~
A/N: Requests are open for scenarios if anyone wants to suggest any :)
I love how I go through a month's period where I do nothing but type and am productive with my stories, and then I go through 2-3 months where I absolutely can't even touch my computer.
Disclaimer: Attack on Titan does not belong to me; I only own Lyla, my OC, and the mini-stories for each scenario. The cover image does not belong to me, as I found it on Google Images.
~ oOo ~
JEAN
You have been feeling off lately. You couldn't quite explain what it was; the only idea you had was that everything made you cry. You didn't want to be near your friends and weren't socializing as much as you had. Your friends noticed from the beginning and tried to say something, but even they could see that you wanted to be left alone. They backed off apprehensively, not knowing what else to do.
There were nights you couldn't sleep as it evaded you. Barely sleeping or eating, you felt like a husk of your usual self. You wanted to say something, to outstretch a hand to a friend but felt nothing would work. Despite all those surrounding you in the Scouts, it was as if you had never felt so alone. You released your emotions into your pillow at night, not knowing who to turn to. But that was a lie.
You knew exactly who you could turn to.
You were too afraid to seek their help, fearful they would think differently of you.
But hope came about a week or so after realizing you felt different.
Having just arrived back in your room after dinner, barely having anything to eat, you were sitting on your bed when a knock appeared on your door. "Lyla?" A familiar voice came from the opposite side. Head lifting at the voice, you desperately wanted to smile. That voice alone had lifted your spirits before; why wouldn't it work this time? You remained silent, pulling your knees into your chest when the voice sounded again. "Lyla? I'm coming in." You didn't even have the strength to fight against his words.
Opening the door slowly, Jean entered, his eyes seeking yours, instantly falling. Stepping toward you, he sat gently beside you on the bed, tentatively taking your hand. He felt your fingers were limp. Before, they would have tightened around his; now, they were just there. When you didn't speak, Jean did.
"Lyla? Please, say something." But you didn't. Through your peripheral, you noticed the pained look in his eyes, which hurt you even more.
Without realizing it, the waterworks were upon your face as the tears flowed like a steady stream. One by one, they fell, crashing into your knees as your breathing increased to the point you were almost gasping.
Taking you into his arms, Jean rubbed his hand up and down your back, doing his best to soothe your breathing and calm you down. It worked, for the most part, but your head fell into the crook of his shoulder as you sobbed. The two of you sat in that position for some time, and you did not say anything as Jean allowed you to have this moment of silence. After some time, Jean pulled back and cupped your face, using his thumbs to clear your face of tears.
"Lyla, sweetheart, what are you thinking?" The pain on his face was evident, and it only made more tears fall despite not wanting them to.
You desperately wanted to talk to Jean. You had been craving it for days but didn't know how to express your feelings. "I…" you began. Swallowing thickly and taking a deep breath, you mumbled, "…e-everything hurts…"
He tenderly dropped a kiss on your head. At first, he didn't say anything, probably trying to think of what to say. But then, he said, "I'm here. I'll take all your pain away."
Glancing up into his eyes, you were soft with your words. "…how?"
Despite not speaking to him in several days, he gave you a beautiful smile. "I'm your boyfriend. Aren't I supposed to take all your pain away?"
"B-but this…! Jean, I can't…!"
"Shhh," he said calmly. "I may not understand what you're feeling," he skimmed a thumb sweetly against your cheek. "But we will get through this together. You will get through this. You are a strong and fierce person, Lyla."
A sudden realization hit you in the gut. Leaning against Jean's chest, you sighed. It had been some time since you had lay in his arms and forgot how warm and comforting his embrace was. "Jean…I'm sorry…" you mumbled quietly.
He kissed you again. "There's no need for an apology, Lyla." Lifting your chin, he smiled again. "I love you, and that's why you do when you love someone." You felt your lips lift into a small smile for the first time in over a week. Jean sensed it, too. "There's that beautiful smile."
MARCO
It had been a lovely day off. Shadis had kept you and your fellow cadets full of training for several days and granted everyone the next two days off. To which everyone was thankful, including you. So, today, you spent some time by yourself catching up on a book you were reading and walking around the compound, even through the forest. Your trip into the forest wouldn't be the first as you frequented the surrounding trees quite frequently, whenever possible. Something was soothing about laying at the base of a tree and listening to the song of the wind rustling through the leaves. It was magical.
But it wasn't just the walking. You had discovered numerous animals in the trees throughout your walks and time, making notes in a small notebook you kept on your person. You dabbled in drawing occasionally and enjoyed drawing the creatures you discovered. A deer here, a squirrel there, some birds, fish in the lake. But, most importantly, there was one particular bird you had grown fond of. The bird was a beautiful deep red with a slight black below its eye. You first noticed it on a trip and immediately drew it for remembrance, though you didn't get far, for the moment the bird noticed you, it flew away.
You returned to the same spot to find the bird for the next several weeks and had grown fond of it to the point you gave it a name. The bird must have also grown fond of you because it gradually grew closer to you until, one day, it flew upon your finger, causing you to smile widely. The bird was special to you after that.
Until today.
"Lyla?"
Harshly turning to the sound of your name, you were startled to find Marco standing beside you as he appeared from the forest's edge. "M-Marco!" Having not seen him there, you didn't have enough time to clear your face from falling tears.
Sensing your distress, Marco quickly moved to your side and cupped your cheek. "Lyla, sweetie…what is wrong? Why are you crying?"
Touching the tears on your cheek, you paused. For a moment, you didn't know if you wanted to share your sadness. Then again, this was Marco. Who could you share your pain with him if you couldn't share it with Marco? Glancing down at the cloth sitting in your lap, you peered up at Marco one more time before removing the top part of the cloth. Inside lay your beautiful bird.
Taking one look at the animal, Marco immediately understood. You had shared with him numerous times about this bird you met on your walks and how you always looked forward to seeing it each time. Touching your arm, he said, "Lyla, I…is it…?" You nodded, to sad speak so outwardly. Understanding, Marco placed a soft kiss against your cheek. "I am sorry, Lyla. I knew how much she meant to you."
"S-Sally is…" A tear fell from your cheek and landed on Sally. "She's really gone…"
"Did you at least get some time before she passed?"
You nodded again. "I…I found her on the ground, and I could tell she was in pain. I held her in my arms, but only a few minutes later, she died." Sniffling, you felt more tears run down your face.
Glancing down at Sally, then back to your face, Marco pulled you close, an arm wrapped around your shoulder while the other cupped your hand. "She lived a good life. I bet she loved seeing you on your walks. She probably looked forward to it."
"…you think so?" You peered up at him.
"I do," Marco said earnestly.
You sniffled more. "That…that helps, kinda."
Quiet for a moment, Marco watched you. He knew you cared deeply for Sally to the point that you had given her a name. "Would you like to bury her?" Since running into you, Marco noticed a happy glint in your eyes.
"C-can we? Would that be ok?"
"That would be more than ok." Placing the top of the cloth back over the bird, Marco took Sally and held her against his chest, taking your hand in the other as he helped you stand. "Let's go find the best tree we can, and we can bury her at the base."
You inhaled quickly. "I-I know the perfect spot."
Marco smiled at you. "Good. How about you tell me more about Sally?"
"You…you really want to hear?"
"I'd love nothing more, Lyla."
LEVI
"Lyla?"
You could hear Levi's voice calling out to you, but it didn't change how you were feeling.
The Scouts had just returned from another expedition, and it was brutal. Death encompassed the entire mission from the time the Scouts left until they returned several days later. You had been used to this fact about being in the Scouts, but never had a mission been as bad as this. What made it worse was that you lost several people you were close with. There were soldiers you trained with, soldiers who became close friends since joining the Scouts, and even those who were like family.
After returning from the wall, everyone traversed back to Headquarters, and everyone's behavior was sorrowful. After placing your steed in its designated stall, you ran away from the others, needing some time alone to grieve the one person you regretted not saving the most. You regretted not being able to save anyone these last several days, but this particular death would haunt you for eternity. Running through the castle-like structure, you escaped to your room. Slamming the door, you made it all but three steps before collapsing to the floor, still dressed in your dirty and bloody uniform, but you didn't care. What you did care about was crying. All you wanted to do was cry, to release whatever you were feeling, to escape the pain, to freeze the pain. You wanted nothing more than to be alone.
But the knock on your door said otherwise.
"Lyla?"
You knew it was Levi from the caring tone of his voice. You loved that he was outside the door waiting for you, but you didn't want to see him. If anything, he was probably the last person you wanted to see.
From your position on the floor, you didn't answer. You curled tighter into a ball, your eyes weeping with sadness and grief, your body not knowing what else to do at the moment. Levi remained silent for thirty seconds before he knocked on the door again. But he tentatively opened the door and stepped through when you didn't answer the second time. His eyes immediately found you on the ground as he fell to a knee beside you, a loving hand cupping your face.
He didn't need to speak because your grave voice already said, "She's gone, Levi! She died protecting me!" You wailed. Your voice echoed throughout the tiny room and possibly down through the hallway.
Your cry broke Levi's heart. In all the time he had known you, he had never seen you break down in such a manner. He'd seen you cry and be heartbroken, but nothing like this. He knew it was breaking you as much as it was breaking him to watch you feel this much pain.
Reaching out, Levi cupped your cheek but stayed silent. He stared into your beautiful eyes as you wept. Crystal tears slithered down your cheeks in waves, and he cleared away each one. He didn't say anything for several moments. After such a silence, he picked you up and carried you to the bed, where he sat you on the edge, kneeling before you.
Hiccuping, you yelled, "She's g-gone!"
"I know," his two words were incredibly soft. Levi stared at you with such care, such love, that the look in his eyes broke your heart for a different reason, causing you to cry harder. Taking your cheeks in his hand, Levi cleared your face.
Before he could speak, you said, "I-I c-can't…! What do I do? What do I do, Levi?!"
"You carry on," he said gently. Rubbing his thumbs along your cheeks, he mumbled, "Live and keep her memory in your heart; you can carry on. Keep her alive by remembering the woman she used to be. Lyla, your best friend may not be here anymore, but you are."
Trying to slow your breathing down, you inhaled sharply. "B-but…how do I go on? How do I live my life knowing that I was the one who should've died instead of her?"
He kissed your forehead tenderly and lovingly. "Remember not to let her sacrifice be in vain. Push forward in this dark time and protect your comrades like she did." Pulling you against his chest, Levi ran his fingers up and down your spine, doing his best to soothe your mind. "Everything seems dark right now…but everything will return to the light after some time." Pulling back, he stared into your reddened eyes. "You are the strongest woman I know, Lyla; you can get through this. She may not be here, but you have me. I will never leave your side."
"S-she promised the same t-thing." You hiccuped. "How can you promise me that after I just lost her?"
"Because I've never broken a promise to you, and I never will. I will help you get through this, Lyla. Do you believe me?"
Slowly, you nodded. Your breathing gradually slowed, but the tears were still there. Leaning forward, you tightly clutched the front of his cloak, your head falling to his shoulder. "…it hurts," you mumbled quietly. "…everything hurts!"
Levi's only response was to keep you close. All night, he held you, not once letting you go.
EREN
It was a typical morning.
You woke up to the sun shining brightly through your curtain, slowly awakening you as you smiled. You began your day with a shower and sat before the mirror, working on your hair. Eren was supposed to arrive soon, as it was routine for him to walk you to breakfast. You had been dating for some time, and he refused to start breakfast without having you by his side, so he escorted you every morning.
But, even though this morning started typically, it didn't end that way.
"No!"
You were combing your hair, allowing the long locks to be free of dangles, just as you did every morning. The only difference was that you were smiling and staring at your hair in the mirror one minute, and the next, you were staring at the broken comb in your hand.
Suddenly, the door to your room burst open, and Eren ran inside, his eyes frantic as he found you sitting before your mirror. "Lyla! What's wrong? I heard screaming!"
"I…I…?! You weren't even sure what to say. You knew it was just a comb, but it wasn't the comb that was the problem. It was an item that was given to you by your parents before they died. It was one of the last presents from them you owned. Glancing up at your boyfriend, you felt the tears grow. Slowly, you opened your palm to show Eren what you were holding. "I-I broke my comb!"
Stepping forward, Eren took hold of the two pieces as he glanced at them. His lips were held together, and he wasn't sure what to say until he glanced into your eyes and saw several tears fall down your cheeks. "Woah, hey! Why're you crying, sweetie?" He ran his fingers down your cheek to clear them of tears.
Narrowing your eyes, you nearly growled. "Because my comb broke! Weren't you listening?!"
Staring between your beautiful eyes and the broken pieces in his hand, Ere wasn't understanding. He didn't see the importance. "…but it's just a comb."
"Just a comb?! You…! How dare you!" Taking whatever items you could grab from your desk, you threw them at Eren. He backed against the wall, trying to deflect what was thrown at him.
"Lyla! What the hell?!"
"My mom and dad gave me that comb before they died! That's the last thing I have of theirs, and now it's broken! It was my favorite comb, you insensitive jerk!"
Quickly stepping toward you, Eren grasped your hands in his to get you to stop. Kneeling before you, he said, "I'm sorry." He noticed the skeptical look in your teary eyes. "I mean it; I am sorry. I had no idea where that comb came from or why it meant so much to you." Looking at the broken pieces on the desk, he asked, "Is there no way to fix it?"
You shook your head. "I…I doubt it. I mean, glue might work, but probably not for long."
Eren heaved a sigh, tightening his grip on your hands. "Lyla…Again, I am sorry. I did not know this comb meant that much to you."
Swiping at your eyes, you nodded. "Well, you didn't know…and I'm sorry I threw my stuff at you."
Eren cracked a smile. "Yeah, well…I kinda had that coming. I was a…what did you call me? An insensitive jerk?"
That caused you to chuckle. "Maybe I shouldn't have called you that? You aren't an insensitive jerk, Eren. I hope you know that."
He leaned forward and kissed your cheek. "I do," she smiled smugly. "Now…how about a walk into town after breakfast? I think I can be persuaded to buy you a new comb. This time, it'll be from me."
"You mean that?" You smiled brightly.
He rubbed his nose against you. "Of course. You need a new favorite comb, right?"
CONNIE
You trekked to the mail room one free day during training to see if you had a letter from your mother. You smiled, loving these letters between you, and wondered what she was writing about this time. Sitting on the bench outside, you skimmed the contents, only to soon feel the burning in the back of your eyes as you instantly started running across the compound. Running through the near-empty training ground, you sought one person and one person only.
Nearing the male dorm room, you screamed, "Connie! Connie!"
The door burst open several seconds later as the bald man appeared in your vision. His face was questioning why you were screaming his name, but upon seeing your face, the male instantly understood.
Taking your hand in his, Connie pulled you close. "Lyla? Hey, what's going on?"
Sniffling, you motioned to the letter in your hand. "My mom, she wrote to me, and…"
Looking around, Connie could see the stairs from the other males in his room. Deciding you deserved some privacy, he pulled you off to the side of the dorms, leaning you against the wall. "Ok, you said your mom wrote you a letter? Is everything ok?"
"No! Everything's not ok!" Falling against the wood wall, you slid to the ground, curling your legs into your chest. Laying your head against your knees, you silently cried for what you learned.
"Lyla…would it be ok if I read the letter?" You nodded as you gave the piece of paper to Connie.
Taking it gently, Connie skimmed the contents, slowly understanding what upset you. Sitting beside you, Connie pulled you against him, rubbing his hand along your arm. "I see…so Claire…she…died?" You could only nod. "Oh, Lyla, I am so, so sorry. I don't think you've mentioned Claire before. Did you know her long?"
"Several years," you mumbled softly. "She's been by my side for some time."
"She sounds like a really good friend."
"She was. She liked to listen to my problems and let me vent whenever I needed to. I just…I knew something would happen once I left for training."
Connie raised an eyebrow as he glanced down at you. "What do you mean?"
"I explicitly told my mom and sister to water Claire daily. She can't go a single day without water of some kind; I told them that!"
Shrugging, he said, "Well, I mean, you can't - wait. Huh?" Their eyes met as Connie tilted his head. "You, wait…she needed water every single day? I mean, everyone needs to drink water; it's healthy."
"Yeah, but she'll literally wilt and die without it."
"Wilt and die…? Now, hold up." Connie held up a finger, confusion evident across his face. "What're you talking about?"
Now, it was time for you to tilt your head. "What are you talking about?"
"You just said she needs water!"
"Yes, all plants need water! Don't you know that?"
"But, wait…plants? Where did plants come into this?" Poor Connie ran a hand across his bald head. "I'm fucking confused."
"Have I never told you about my plant, Claire? My dad gave her to me; she's a tiny bush that blooms flowers in the spring and fall. Or, at least, she did before my mother killed her!" You sniffled, more tears leaking from your eyes.
"That's…" Trying to find something to say, Connie was left empty-handed. He knew naught what to tell his girlfriend. Was she this upset about a plant? He didn't…understand. But he knew he wanted to comfort her. She was sad, and he would be there for her. But there was one thing that caught him off guard. "…you named a plant 'Claire?'"
That earned a smack upside the head. "Yes, I did! What, you're gonna make fun of my dead plant's name?!"
"I-I wouldn't! I swear!"
"You better not." Clearing your face, you added, "She was the best plant ever."
Connie kissed your temple. "I bet she was."
~ oOo ~
ARMIN
"Lyla? Lyla, you in here?"
You could hear Armin call your name from down the hall, searching for you. Normally, you would have answered instantly, but your nose was currently stuck in a fantastic book that you couldn't put down. It was such a great read that Captain Levi had confiscated it the previous day in the mess hall because you wouldn't leave breakfast to go to training. You had to run fifty laps for being late to get it back. But it had been worth it.
Turning each page was mystifying as you didn't know what would happen next. It was a read that enthralled you from the beginning and kept your attention the entire time. It was a page-turner, one you did not want to put down for any reason.
But this time during your reading was different. You were right in the middle of an angsty battle with no thought about which side would end. All you knew was that your chest heaved with each breath you took, shaky as you knew tears fell down your face.
A knock sounded on your door, and you knew it was Armin. When no answer came, he opened the door slightly, peering his head inside, poking his eyes around. "Lyla, where are…oh! There you are!" Still, you sat on your bed. You knew it was rude to ignore Armin - your boyfriend of all people - but you couldn't stop reading. Walking up beside you, Armin poked your arm tenderly. "Uh, Lyla? Hello?" He waved a hand before your face.
Startled, you blinked several times as you clutched the book to your chest. "Oh, Armin! Damn, don't scare me like that!" You huffed, sniffling at the same time.
"Scare you?" Armin asked, an eyebrow raised. "I called your name several times and opened the door." He glanced at the book, then back to your face, and added, "Looks like someone was…wait, Lyla? Sweetie, what's wrong?"
With the sudden fright leaving your system, remembering what you were reading came crashing back. Clutching the book tightly, your head fell into its pages, the tears ever there as they fell one by one. "M-my book…!" You stammered. "I just…one of my f-favorite characters…!" You hiccuped, using the edge of your sleeve to clear your face. Armin appeared with a cloth when that did nothing as he dabbed at your cheeks. You wailed with a last cry, "…my favorite character died!"
"Oh, Lyla, I…" He dropped his head against yours. "I know that feeling all too well. It's going to be alright."
"B-but…! It can't end this way! This character is needed to defeat the evil one!"
Taking the seat beside you, Armin pulled you into his arms, his hand rubbing up and down your spine. "It'll be alright, I promise. Maybe…the character will come back in the end…?"
"How? You can't just…come b-back from the dead like that!"
"Anything is possible when you're reading a book, sweetie. You know that just like I do." When you continued to sniffle, Armin held you tightly in his arms. "Oh, sweetie, I wish I could take your pain away. I love that you found a good book, but it's a terrible feeling when that book makes you cry."
"Yes, yes, it is!"
Glancing at the cover, Armin smiled. "I haven't read this one. Would you like to tell me what it's about?"
"I don't t-think you'll like it."
"Of course I will. It might not be one I'd read alone, but if you love it, I will too."
She curled into his neck. "You…you sure?"
"Of course. Here, let's get comfy, and you can tell me all about it."
REINER
It was the middle of summer, and everything was hot. And yet, that did not stop the Commandant from keeping training active and forcing everyone to participate. You and the rest of the cadets were in the yard practicing with a partner in close combat training. It had only been about an hour, and you were already drenched, waiting to get something to drink and experience a cold shower. But you and everyone else knew that no one would be allowed to leave until the Commandant declared that training was over. And you knew that wouldn't be for some time.
Everyone was split into partners. You were paired with Reiner - your boyfriend - who had the advantage as he was taller than you. Not by much, but enough that he could more easily evade your punches than you against him. It wasn't that bad, to be honest. Reiner was such a bulky male that he laughed at any punch you gave him.l Your fist almost always pounced off his arms or chest as his muscles merely accepted the attack. You growled every time, wondering if you would ever land a successful hit on him.
Despite his advantage of being tall, there was also an advantage for you being slightly shorter than him. Because of the height difference, Reiner was forced to bend his body somewhat to reach your height, which led you to be able to dodge his attacks. It worked both ways. Some hits were landed, but you could tell Reiner was aiming for your arms and nothing higher. From the beginning, you agreed not to hit each other in the face; that was the only rule between you two. Your next attack landed on his shoulder, which he merely laughed.
"Ha! Is that all you got?"
Slightly out of breath, you stepped back, wiping the sweat from your brow. "Is that…all I've got? Geez, Reiner, I've been throwing punches at you non-stop for, like, fifteen minutes straight!"
"I know, and you've barely landed a punch on me."
"Doesn't help that you're so damn bulky!" For emphasis, you poked his pectoral, the muscles firm beneath your finger. "You're built like a brick!"
To emphasize his stature, Reiner crossed his arms and puffed his chest. "Damn straight I am! What're you gonna do about it?"
"I'm gonna wipe that smirk off your face, that's for certain."
"I'd like to see you try." He narrowed his eyes playfully.
You stopped, taking a minute to think. Snapping your fingers, you said, "I got it! Next one to land a strike takes the loser's bread." You smile wickedly.
That caused your boyfriend to smile, too. "Oh, look who's suddenly confident." But he saw the ferocity in your eyes. "Alright, you're on, sweet cheeks." Stepping back, he took his stance. "Let's see what you got, babe."
"Oh, it's on, babe." You smiled.
With both fists held high, you circled each other, each waiting for the opportune moment to strike. When you had circled roughly three times, you went in for the attack, just as Reiner did. He, as usual, was aiming for your arm, just like you. Taking one step back, you curled your fist appropriately and struck with all your might, just as Reiner did. But nothing came out of your attack.
Slipping on the gravel beneath your feet, your leg slipped as your body fell forward. Well, you would have called straight to the ground if it hadn't been for Reiner's fist to be directly in your path. Instead of falling to the ground, you fell face-first into his fist, the attack landing directly against your nose. The smack of the attack was so loud that other teams stopped and stared at the spectacle. Reiner instantly stopped and grabbed your shoulders to straighten your body.
"Lyla! Lyla, are you alright?!"
"Agh!" You screamed, both hands holding your nose. "Fucking shit, Reiner! What the hell?!"
"Holy shit, Lyla! I-I'm so sorry!"
You tried fighting back the pain, but it swelled into your eyes. Tears pricked the corners, falling down your cheeks individually. Reiner noticed and cringed, hating himself for causing you such pain.
"Oh! No, no, please don't cry!"
"How can I not? You fucking punched me in the nose!"
"It was an accident!"
"Don't you think I know that?!" You growled, swearing at the stinging in your face. "But you still caught me in the nose!"
"Hey, take it easy. Let me see." Stepping forward, Reiner grasped your chin and tilted it upward. There was a river of blood seeping out and falling onto your shirt. "Damn, it's already starting to turn purple. I'm taking you to the Medical Wing."
You sniffled, only to moan in the instant pain radiating from your nose. Glancing up at your boyfriend, you knew you had no right to be mad. And you really weren't; you were more upset about being in pain.
"Will you stay there with me?"
"I wouldn't leave even if you told me to."
BERTHOLDT
You stared out the window of your room in the Scout Headquarters. It had been another long day of training to prepare for the upcoming reconnaissance mission outside the walls. You were nervous, extremely nervous. You had not been outside the walls since traversing from Marley to the walls five years ago. You didn't want to do it then and certainly didn't want to do it now. Suddenly, an overwhelming sense of pain erupted in your stomach, crawling straight into your heart and up to your eyes.
You were crying before you knew what was happening.
You missed home. You missed your family and the friends you left behind. Hell, you even missed Liberio. The living situation wasn't the best, considering you were an Eldian, but it was still home. Your favorite places to eat were there; your favorite parks were there. Everything was back home. This place was not home, despite how much you had grown to care for those you met and everything you had experienced.
Knowing what must be done, you swiftly left your room and headed downstairs to your boyfriend's room. It was still early but late enough for most Scouts to be asleep, so you trekked the hallway carefully, not wanting to be reprimanded by the Commander or the Captain. You gently knocked once before the specific door, clearing your face simultaneously. It only took one knock for the person to open the door, his concerned eyes finding yours the moment it was open.
"B-Bertholdt?"
Seeing your face, Bertholdt's fell. Quickly cupping your cheek, Bertholdt leaned in closer. "Lyla? What is wrong?" Not waiting for an answer, he gently pulled you inside, sitting you on the edge of the bed as he knelt before you. "Sweetheart, what is going on? Why are you crying?"
Not needing a moment to think, you replied, "I-I wanna go home," you whispered. Bertholdt instantly pulled you into his chest, his strong hands rubbing circles against your back. It was soothing, something he had done for the entire time you had known each other. He knew it was one of the few ways to calm you down instantly.
Pulling back, he kissed your forehead. "We will, I promise. You, Reiner, and I will go home soon. I swear it."
"But…how do you know? We've not even completed our mission!" You cried. "If we go home, everyone will hate us because we failed!"
"Have we, though?"
"Yes. We haven't found the Coordinate or heard a word from Annie. Let's face it, Bertholdt," you sniffled. "We have no idea what to do next."
Bertholdt knew your words were true. They were to infiltrate the walls and disguise themselves as civilians; they had succeeded. But finding the Coordinate amongst all the people who lived here would be nigh impossible with just the four of them. With your words, even Bertholdt had to admit that you were right. As of this moment, he didn't know what to do, and he doubted Reiner did as well.
Kissing your cheek, Bertholdt's following words were soft and gentle. "We've done enough with what little we had when we got here. There's still so much we can do, but…I know we will succeed. Do not not think so?"
You shrugged and sniffled some more. "I…I don't know, to be honest. It seems far out there to think we can be successful."
"I'll make sure we're successful," Bertholdt commented. Lifting your eyes to his, you could see the conviction in his eyes, a fire burning you hadn't seen in some time. Leaning closer, Bertholdt brushed his nose against yours. "My sweetheart…I'll make sure we go home together. This I promise you."
Sighing, a sense of relief washed over you. These last five years had been difficult, but in that time, Bertholdt had never let you down. When he made a promise, he always kept it. "You promise?" You still had to ask.
"I promise," was his immediate answer. "Remember all the plans we've made for when we get home? None of that can happen if we stay here." Taking hold of your left hand, Bertholdt rubbed the skin across your fourth finger. "Besides…there's much I wish to say to you someday. Just, please…don't cry anymore, Lyla. I hate to see you cry."
His words cause a swell of emotion to burst inside your chest. Several more tears fell but for a different reason. Kissing Bertholdt's cheek, you offered him a tiny smile. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you pulled the male closer, loving this person with each passing second.
"Thank you, Bertholdt. I love you."
"I love you more, my sweetheart."
ERWIN
Seeing as how you were the wife to the Survey Corps Commander, you were continuously looped into the inside scoop. You had also started as a soldier in the Survey Corp, but an injury you sustained during a mission was too grave for you to continue being a soldier. Seeing as you were Erwin's wife, you were allowed to stay at Headquarters, where you resided whenever he was away.
Erwin kept nothing from you and preferred you knew every plan he enacted and every time they were to go beyond the walls. This most recent mission once again took him beyond the walls. However, this wasn't a reconnaissance mission. This time, he, the Scouts, the Garrisons, and the Military Police were to chase after the Armored and Colossal Titan to retrieve Eren Jaeger, who had been kidnapped.
You had no doubt they would bring back Eren in one piece. But, just as you did with every mission past the wall, you feared for the love of your life. Erwin loved what he did and committed his heart to humanity, a characteristic that led him to be the Commander. Even though you knew he was more than capable, that did not stop you from fearing the worst. Until the day a soldier burst into your room in Headquarters in Trost to explain that Erwin had returned injured from the most recent mission. You had rolled your eyes, as this wasn't the first time he had returned injured.
You moved your crochet project aside and said, "Alright, what happened this time?"
The grave look on the soldier's face said it all. "Mrs. Smith, you don't understand. This time is different."
That stopped you in your tracks. "…what do you mean?"
"I'd rather you see than for me to explain. Please, follow me."
You followed the soldier through Headquarters, passing numerous soldiers who stared at you as you passed. Ignoring their stares, there was only one thought on your mind: what injury your husband sustained. Reaching the door, the soldier slowly opened it for you, motioning for you to enter. Nodding at him, you stepped inside to see Captain Levi off to the side. The moment the captain noticed you, he nodded and then stepped toward the door to give you and your husband some privacy.
Before he left, Levi clapped your arm and said softly, "He'll survive." He then closed the door behind him.
Glancing up, you found your husband staring at you. Seeing the bandage on your husband's arm took only a second notice. But, it wasn't…no. There was a bandage on what remained of his arm. Your face fell at the sight.
"Oh my god! Erwin!" Running up to his side, you extended your hand to touch his arm, then retracted, unsure what to do. "Wha…what the fucking hell is this?!"
"Lyla," the commander breathed. He bowed his head, embarrassment coating his cheeks upon you seeing him like this. "I…I…?"
As gently as possible, you placed a hand on your husband's shoulder, tracing a light finger down what remained of his arm. Everything from the upper arm down was just…gone. A long stub remained of what was once his arm. The onslaught of tears was instant, the cracking in your voice painful. "Erwin, wh-what happened…?" Moving away from his arm, you cupped his cheek to see the pain in his eyes.
"It's…" He swallowed to find his voice. "It was for the good of humanity. We had to rescue Eren."
You knew he was right. The moment you entered a relationship with this man meant there was a possible chance he could lose a limb or come back dead. At least, for now, it hadn't been the latter. But was he that blind to admit him losing an arm was worth saving Eren? Was Eren the saving grace for all this madness with the titans? For some reason, this made you snap.
"Does the good of humanity mean I'll lose my husband?!" It was then the waterworks burst. Falling into the chair beside the bed, everything crashed upon your shoulder. Cradling your face, you cried. You had no idea your day would turn into one like this to find your husband injured as he was. What made it worse was that Erwin didn't even seem to mind. Almost as if it was a willing sacrifice he would make to keep Eren safe. You soon felt Erwin's finger brush through your hair, causing you to glance at him.
With a weak voice, Erwin said, "Please, don't cry for me, Lyla. At least…" Swallowing again, you could see the sadness in his eyes. "At least I made it back alive."
You knew he was right. Here, he was missing half of one arm, but he was still alive. That was a gift you had to take advantage of. Jumping to your feet, you gently embraced your husband, who rubbed your back with one hand. You dropped several kisses across your face, trying to get the point across physically what the man meant to you.
Pulling back slightly, you tried clearing your face, but the tears were there, and they would remain falling from your eyes for some time. "As long as you come back alive, we'll make this work."
Erwin smiled at that. "Yes, we will, my goddess. I wouldn't have it any other way."
~ oOo ~
PORCO
"…Lyla?"
Upon hearing your name, your back tensed, uncurling from its bent-over position. Sitting at your usual spot on the small fishing dock, you tried to clear your face of any lingering tears. Porco called your name again and took the seat beside you, eyes widening when he saw your face.
"Hey…" he called softly. "What's goin' on…?"
Head shaking you muttered, "It's nothing important."
"…you sure about that?" You nodded, only staring across the darkened sea as the sun had set long before Porco found you. He wrapped an arm around your shoulder when you still didn't say anything, pulling you close to him. "So…I saw you fighting against Magath today. Wanna tell me what that was about?" Shaking your head no, you didn't want to say anything until Porco kissed the side of your head. Moving strands of hair out of your eyes, he said softly, "Come on, you know you can talk to me. What happened."
Several moments passed before you heaved a sigh, leaning against his shoulder. "…I don't want to upset you."
"Upset me? Why would I be upset?"
"…because Magath and I were fighting about you."
Confused Porco raised an eyebrow. You nodded when he asked, "Me? What about me?" Nudging your shoulder, you stole a peek through your peripheral before sighing heavily.
"Magath, he…I-I overheard him talking to another soldier talking about you a-and that he…" More tears fell with Porco clearing them away. "He was wondering why they were even keeping you around since you weren't chosen as a Warrior…" Stealing a peek at him, you were surprised to see Porco merely staring, waiting for you to finish your story. "Running up to him, first I started arguing that you were a brilliant fighter and that you were respected among the recruits. He countered that you had been slacking, leaving them to think you didn't care about the Marleyan's cause anymore and that they should discharge you. I then, w-well, I smacked him on the arm and started screaming that you were the best soldier they had in their army, better than any Marley soldier who was fighting for the cause with all their heart. Magath he, he then laughed in my face but I smacked him again, asking how he'd feel if his only brother left to go to the island of devils, not knowing how long he'd be there. And-And what about the fact that your brother only has thirteen years to live because he's a titan and what if he comes back?! Fucking shit I was getting so mad that I just had to leave and - "
Your rant fell silent.
Porco captured your lips, silencing whatever else you had to say. Falling into his embrace, your tears still fell. Some from anger, others from fearing Porco would be leaving the army. Pulling himself away only to bop your nose with his the man smiled, a completely different expression than what you thought you'd receive.
"You're…not mad at me?"
"Never," he kissed your head. "Hell, not only did you scream at Magath, you fucking hit him too."
You sniffled. "I had to…he was talking bad about you and I didn't appreciate it."
"I know," Porco said softly. Grasping your chin, he lifted your face to drop another kiss on your luscious lips. "I'll handle Magaath, you don't worry about a thing, ok?"
"…ok."
~ oOo ~
ZEKE
"Lyla? Hey, Magaath's been lookin' everywhere for ya. Where the hell have you been?"
After learning his lesson last time, Zeke had knocked on your door, and, upon hearing a weak reply, he walked into your apartment, finding you sitting straight on your couch. Shutting the door behind him, the man ran a hand through his hair, running his mouth before he could actually see you before him. "Damn, Lyla, I've spent the last twenty minutes searching everywhere for you. Come on, you're needed at HQ." When you didn't move, Zeke landed his gaze on you, only to find that you hadn't turned toward him. "Uh, Lyla?"
Still, you refused to turn to him. If anything, you sat completely still, almost as if you were made of stone. Walking your way, Zeke noticed the slightly crumbled letter at your feet, picking it up before placing it on your front table. Waving a hand before you, the man whistled, about to say something sarcastic when a lone tear suddenly fell from your face.
"Aw shit…" The man muttered. Sitting beside you, Zeke wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you against him. The moment your cheek met his shoulder, you all but collapsed into the man, eyes squeezed shut as more tears began to fall from your pretty eyes.
Never one to cry, Zeke was shocked to find yourself being this vulnerable in his presence. Pulling a cloth from his pocket, Zeke carefully cleared your tears, his fingers finding your chin as he lifted your gaze to meet his. "Hey, there you are." You swallowed, not trusting yourself to say anything until he asked, "What happened?"
Eyes peering across the table before you, they landed on the letter you had been holding. "I…I came home to find that in my box. My…both my parents have died."
Quietly muttering, "Fuck," Zeke placed a chaste kiss against your head. He knew of the rocky and abusive relationship you had with your parents. Hell, the man was one to talk as he ousted his own parents to the military, which led him to live with his grandparents. Not sure what to say exactly, Zeke went with something safe by saying, "Lyla, I…I'm sorry."
"Y-You have nothing to be sorry for," she said quietly. "I don't…understand why I'm even crying. I was so happy when I joined the military because it meant I could escape them. But I-I never wished them to die." Crying even more, she cupped a hand over her mouth, trying to suppress the sobs beginning to escape.
"Shhh…" Wrapping both arms around the woman, Zeke held you close, dropping more kisses against your head as you cried out whatever you felt. "I know you didn't want them dead. It's…it's ok to be sad and frustrated simultaneously."
Suddenly peeling yourself away from the man, you tried clearing the tears from your face. Sniffling, you stood, making your way to grab your jacket off the chair in the dining room. "Y-You said Magaath was looking for me?"
"Lyla…"
"I'll be fine. I just…just need to go see Magaath."
"Lyla," Zeke said your name firmly this time. Standing as well, he pulled you back into his arms. "I may not understand your feelings right now, but they were your parents. It's perfectly acceptable to be saddened by their death."
Your hands clawed at his back as you dropped your head against his shoulder. "It's…it's really ok?"
"More than ok, Lyla."
Zeke wasn't sure how long he stood there holding you as you cried, but the man never let his arms drop. He held you for as long as you needed him to.
~ oOo ~
Next chapter: When He Gives You A Nickname - revised!
DragonGoddess629
