AUTHORS NOTES:

Archer1eye: Thank you so much for your review! You guessed it! But hopefully it will be a good surprise still! A little bit of waff and character developement in this chapter and some good news too!

Slyksylva: Haha! Tenebrae must be unhappy with you because reasons! I'm sorry, I got to that point and thought 'this is just too perfect a place to end this chapter.'.

Just a quick chapter for now, the next one should be much longer :)

Chapter 41

30th Day of Early Spring 768 n.c

"What are you doing here?" I asked, surprised.

Illith looked at me in shock, and stuttered "I… I.."

I realised how tired I was and walked past her saying "Come along, you can talk on the way home."

Illith obediently followed along and eventually managed to say quietly "I woke up when you got up and followed you. I thought that you might be doing some sort of magical ritual and wanted to watch."

I stopped suddenly and she almost walked into my back "So you followed fairly closely to not get lost and saw and heard everything?"

"Yes?" Illith said, nervously making it sound like a question.

"So…" I asked as I continued to walk trying to make myself sound confident, "Do you have any questions?"

"I can understand why you wanted them to leave, I don't think I would have wanted any of those children to be killed," there was a moment's pause before she asked, "who were you talking to back in that clearing, at the stone?"

There it was, the one thing that I had hoped she hadn't seen, or heard.

"I can't tell you who she is Illith," I replied, carefully, "not that I don't want to, but that I can't."

I did not know whether or not her overhearing me had bypassed my oath, but I did not wish to risk it.

"You called her 'your love'," she stated in a confused tone.

'Oh pooh,' I spun around and held out my hands to take her shoulders to plead with her "Please Illith, please; you mustn't tell Mother or Father, you mustn't tell anyone!"

"But you called her…" Illith repeated.

"Yes Illith," I said.

"Her, you called her 'your love'," Illith said again.

"Yes Illith, I'm in love with a her," I said.

She furrowed her brows "We can do that?"

I let out a little laugh "Yes, but nobody in town thinks that it's acceptable. But I can't help who I love and I love a her. I could never love a boy."

She looked even more confused, lips pursed and eyebrows furrowed; she looked like she was about to say something, but stopped.

"Illith," I asked, "what is it?"

She frowned at me and asked quietly "Does it have to be one or the other?"

Now it was my turn "What do you mean?"

"Well…" she said, "does it have to be a boy or a girl? Can it be both?"

"Ummmm…" I thought aloud, "I don't see why not? You can't control who you are attracted to, I think. I've always been attracted to girls only, but I don't see why you couldn't find both attractive."

"Oh good," she said simply and definitely.

"Please Illith, you have to promise me not to say anything to anyone about me," I begged.

"Only if you promise not to tell anyone that I like girls too?" She asked.

"Deal," we said, one after the other. Then we found ourselves in a fast hug, laughing and crying in relief.

"So," she said when we broke our hug, "why can't you tell me who she is?"

"I swore an oath not to," I said, "a promise, a magical promise."

"Oh," she replied, sounding disappointed.

We started walking, back along the path towards Shard's clearing. I wondered whether I should stop and speak to Shard there. It was too risky though, with Illith. I decided to talk to Shard before I went to sleep instead. Sleep sounded wonderful, I was so tired and was not looking forward to waking up at sunrise. We would probably have been a quarter of the way through the night by the time we got back home as it was, if not closer to half way.

"So…" I said to Illith, "Is there a someone or someones that you're interested in to know that you like boys and girls?"

Illith stopped and blushed a deep crimson. She said something, too quietly for me to hear and skipped to catch up to me.

"Sorry Illith, I didn't quite catch that?" I said.

She blushed again and mumbled something too garbled for me to understand.

"Sorry Illith, again?" I asked.

"Tarisha and Darnik Danshold!" She practically shouted, then let out a loud "Oops!"

I probably could have guessed; Darnik was a year older than Illith and was the older brother of Tarisha (who was the same age as Illith and was one of her good friends from town.) If someone had asked me before Illith's revelation if she might have had eyes for someone, my guess would have been Darknik. I would never have guessed that she had eyes for Tarisha though. I wondered if anyone had ever noticed my attraction towards Mari though. Maybe we just don't look for things when we don't expect them?

On the way back to Shard's clearing, I asked Illith questions about her attraction to Tarisha. I had to admit that she was a very pretty girl with such a generous heart that it would be almost impossible for anyone not to love her. Illith had concerns about how Tarisha might react to her attraction and I had to admit that I understood completely. Tarisha reminded me a little bit of Beka in that they both strictly adhered to the tenets of the church. I didn't want Beka to find out about my attraction towards girls because I didn't think that she would take it very well at all. I could see Tarisha being the same. Our conversation moved on to inconsequential things as we walked and we soon arrived at Shard's clearing and altar. I wasn't going to stop and speak to her, but I couldn't help myself when I saw her altar.

"Just one moment," I said to Illith as I walked to the altar and placed my hands upon its smooth surface.

"I'm here my love. I'm safe and everything seems to have worked out for the best," I whispered, pausing before my admission, "Illith overheard me talking to you earlier."

"I knew," I heard a voice behind me.

It was followed rapidly by a surprised sound from Illith. I spun around and saw Shard standing there, in a manner of speaking. She appeared in the form of a ghostly apparition, a projection that I could see through. She glowed with the same black light with purple lightning that my seeming created. I extended my hand to her face, to cup her cheek but my hand passed straight into her without any resistance.

"You knew?" I asked.

"Yes," she replied and turned slightly to face Illith, who had been edging around the clearing to get a better look at Shard's face without being too close, "hello Illith. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I'm sorry that I couldn't be here in person to meet you the first time, but I'm a little busy elsewhere."

"H...h… hello." Illith stammered, wide-eyed and wavering between shock and amazement.

"Silly me," Shard said with a giggle, "you can call me Shard. Sharein has told me so much about you."

"You're very pretty," Illith blurted and immediately blushed bright red, covering her mouth with both her hands in embarrassment.

"Why thank you," Shard said gently and then looked at me, "but not as pretty as your sister."

It was my turn to blush now and I asked quickly to change the topic "How goes your task? When will you be back?"

She smiled at me "Sooner than expected, not much longer now at all."

Excitement bubbled up in me "I can't wait to see you again, properly."

She started to fade "Nor I, my love, nor I," and she faded away completely.

The shock of her sudden appearance and equally sudden disappearance hit me then, but thankfully Illith sensed something and took me up in a tight hug. A few tears escaped as I held her close.

"Is Shard a wizard, like you?" Illith asked once we had separated and I had composed myself.

"No," I replied, "not at all like me. She's very special, very very special. Please, still, you mustn't tell anyone about her," I pleaded.

"Of course I won't," she replied, "I promised, didn't I?"

"You did," I said, giving her a kiss on the forehead, "come on. We should both hurry home and be abed, there's not much time before the sun is due to rise and I haven't even had a sleep yet."

We hurried home and I dispelled my Dancing Lights before we got close to the house. We crept into the house as quietly as we could and got changed into our night clothes, careful not to wake Kara or Mother; for while Father would sleep like a log, Mother would wake at the slightest sound. Exhausted, I lay down in my bed and pulled the covers over me. The last thing I thought of before I fell asleep was Shard telling me that she would be back soon.