CHAPTER FOUR
She was dreaming. She had to be.
The alternative was too preposterous to entertain—and that was saying something, given the fact that Usagi was a superhero who battled monsters on a daily basis. Any moment now, she would wake up and discover that all of this had been nothing more than a snack-induced nightmare.
Any moment now…
Usagi needed it to be a dream. Otherwise, she would have to accept that she was actually standing here, holding hands with a girl who claimed to be the princess of an ancient civilization. Even more implausible was the girl's claim that Usagi, of all people, was her reincarnation.
It was too bizarre, even for Usagi.
The last seven months of her life had been a non-stop roller coaster of fantastical revelations and gruelling hardships, but somehow she had reconciled it all within her mind. It was extraordinary, but it was her reality, and she had grudgingly accepted that. This, however, she could not comprehend.
"Did you say 'reborn'?"
Absorbed in thought, it took Usagi a moment to realize that she had spoken the question aloud. Unable to pull the words back, though a part of her sorely wished to do so, she awaited a response with a mixture of curiosity and dread.
"Yes," the girl—Serenity—answered. "Having only awoken a short time ago, I am not yet certain of the particulars, however…" She paused to close her eyes, then a look of peace washed over her features. When her eyes re-opened they were full of certainty. "In my heart I know it to be true," she said, squeezing Usagi's hands. "I can feel it now, as we touch—"
Quick as lightning, Usagi yanked her hands out of Serenity's grasp. Though she said nothing, the visceral, involuntary response spoke volumes.
Serenity's eyes flashed, but she made no move to take Usagi's hands again. "I felt it earlier as well," she said, as if to counter the show of rejection. "When we were joined." Her eyes grew dim. "Although you were not my primary focus at the time…"
Usagi studied Serenity's pensive expression and wondered if she was thinking about Mamoru. Or Tuxedo Kamen? Serenity had called him another name; what was it again?
Endillion? Endigimon?
It didn't matter, Usagi didn't want to think about that right now. Her thoughts were already muddled enough without throwing Mamoru into the mix. It was best to avoid that particular minefield until she could give it her full attention. There was only so much her poor, beleaguered brain could handle at once. Right now, she needed to focus on the girl in front of her and figure out what the heck she was talking about.
What had she been talking about?
Reaching up to scratch her head, Usagi paused and blinked at her gloved hand. Touch. Her gaze moved back to Serenity. "You said you felt something…what did you mean?"
The question seemed to snap Serenity out of a trance, but she didn't respond at once. Instead, she considered Usagi with a contemplative eye. Discomfited, Usagi looked away. Something about looking into those identical eyes unsettled her. It wasn't at all like looking into a mirror; Serenity was no harmless reflection. Each time Usagi looked at her it felt as though all of her deepest, darkest secrets were lurking in that blue gaze, begging to be acknowledged.
"A connection," Serenity answered. "A kinship. You felt it as well."
Though a crisp denial lay ready on her tongue, Usagi saw it for the lie it was and forced herself to swallow it. Even so, she pursed her lips together and remained silent, no more willing to confirm the assertion than she was to deny it.
Serenity frowned and tilted her head. "You are not pleased by this revelation."
No, Usagi was not pleased. Not in the slightest.
What she was, was angry.
Indignation flooded her veins as the weight of this latest revelation settled upon her already overburdened shoulders. The rest of it, she could deal with. Bruises, burns, scrapes, and sprains. One terrifying youma after the next. Late nights that stretched into early mornings. Training sessions that left her bones aching for days. Countless missed opportunities to spend carefree afternoons with her friends and enjoy quiet time with her family.
All of this and much, much more, but Usagi had forced herself to accept it. It had taken time, but she had come to terms with being a Sailor Senshi. Because it was her destiny. These were the cards she'd been dealt, and there would be no second hand. She would live this life; her life.
Her life.
This 'Serenity' wanted to take that away from her. She said she'd been given 'a second chance'. Did she think that she could just step in and take over, as though Usagi was nothing more than a vessel to inhabit? Hadn't she proved that already by wresting control of Usagi's body?
Usagi knew one thing; she would not allow it to happen again. Yes, her life was challenging. She had bemoaned her fate to anyone who would listen more times than she cared to admit. There had even been moments when she'd wanted to give up. But she'd be damned if she was going to let someone just waltz in and take it all away from her. Certainly not some tragic princess who'd punched her ticket too early.
Usagi's turbulent thoughts ground to a halt as her mind latched on to one key word. Distracted by all the talk of reincarnation, she had overlooked one crucial detail. Eyeing Serenity with newfound interest, she asked, "You said you were a princess?"
Serenity blinked, caught off guard no doubt by Usagi's abrupt change of subject. "Yes," she replied, a trace of hesitance in her tone. "Princess Serenity of the Moon Kingdom."
"Princess…of the Moon," Usagi echoed. The words reverberated in her mind, taunting her with their simplicity. The Moon Princess. The mysterious princess Luna had told her about on that fateful day when she'd given Usagi a golden brooch and revealed that she was Sailor Moon. That very princess was here now, standing right in front of her.
This was the girl that Usagi was duty-bound to protect? Yet Serenity claimed that she and Usagi were one and the same. Was Usagi supposed to believe that she was, in fact, the very princess they'd been searching for all this time?
The idea was absurd. Laughable. A strange, garbled noise sounded through the vast white space, and it took some time for Usagi to realize that the sound was coming from her. She was laughing, but the laughter sounded unnatural in her ears, high-pitched and unhinged. Noting Serenity's wary expression, Usagi bit down hard on her lower lip to silence herself.
What was she supposed to do now? None of this made any sense.
"I don't understand," was all Usagi could think to say.
"There is much to explain," Serenity conceded with a nod, "but I fear that a full recounting of my history must wait for now. Too much time has passed, and I sense our interlude grows short. I must show you."
Usagi barely heard her. Her world had just been upended. Again. How was she supposed to process this? What would it mean going forward? Feeling as though she was about to splinter into several pieces, Usagi turned to Serenity in desperation. "I don't…understand," she repeated, unable to find any other words.
Serenity reached out and grasped Usagi's right hand then pulled it up toward her face.
"You will."
And then Serenity pressed Usagi's fingertips against the golden crescent moon on her forehead just as Usagi had yearned to do from the moment she'd first seen it. A brilliant flash of light seared her retinas before the world dissolved to white.
She woke to pain. A splitting headache pounded in Usagi's temples, throbbing in rhythm with her heartbeat, each pulse more excruciating than the last. It felt like someone had taken a baseball bat to her head. Repeatedly. Maybe if she was lucky, they'd come back to finish the job and put her out of her misery.
Voices sounded, giving her something else to focus on. Soft and indistinct, they rose and fell in the broken cadence of stilted conversation. Unable to identify the speakers, Usagi tried to make out what was being said, but it was no use. Everything sounded muffled and distorted, as though her ears were stuffed with cotton balls.
The sensation reminded her of the time she had flown on a plane as a small child. Frightened by the roar of the engines and the sounds of Shingo's shrill wailing, Usagi had clung to her father's arm as the large jet climbed high into the sky. While her mother had soothed her baby brother, Usagi's father had held her hand and told her to swallow to relieve the pressure in her ears. Trying to do so now yielded little result. Dry as dust, her tongue scraped along the roof of her mouth like sandpaper on wood.
As her awareness grew, so too did her discomfort. Her right hand was raw and achy; the tips of her pointer and middle fingers in particular. Both of her legs were tingling below the knees. Something was digging into the bottoms of her thighs, stemming the blood flow to her calves and feet. She tried to wiggle her toes but the response was sluggish at best.
Her entire body jolted when the supports under her thighs repositioned themselves and only then did Usagi realize that she was being carried. A second lurching adjustment prompted her to release a throaty moan of protest. The muffled voices grew silent. Struggling to lift her head, Usagi forced her eyelids to part and took her first bleary-eyed glimpse of her surroundings.
"She's awake!"
"Sailor Moon!"
"Thank goodness!"
The relieved cries rang out loud and clear, heralding the sudden, inconvenient return of Usagi's hearing. Wincing, she groaned and looked around, then blinked to clear the hazy spots clouding her vision. Mercury, Mars, and Venus were gathered around her, all sporting similar expressions of relief. Usagi attempted to smile but wound up grimacing instead.
"How are you feeling, Sailor Moon?"
Turning her head to the right, Usagi blinked into a familiar pair of green eyes. Ah, so Jupiter was the one carrying her. Noting her friend's strained features, Usagi wondered how long she'd been hauling her. Judging by the numbness in her legs, Usagi figured long enough for the both of them.
"Hal…muh…dun plisk."
Jupiter's brow knitted in confusion before her eyes shifted from Usagi to the other Senshi. Usagi couldn't blame her. She had barely understood her own garbled words, and she knew what she'd been trying to say. She cleared her throat and tried again.
"Help me down, please."
There. Much better.
Comprehension dawned quick and clear in Jupiter's eyes, and she gave a quick nod. "Do you think you can stand?"
Usagi wasn't sure, but there was only one way to find out. "Let me down and we'll see."
Squatting down, Jupiter helped lower Usagi's legs to the ground one at a time, taking care to remain crouched in place for added support. Wobbling on leaden feet, Usagi straightened her spine with an audible crack before patting Jupiter's back to signal that she should move away. As soon as she did, Usagi's legs crumpled beneath her.
She plunged forward amidst a chorus of alarmed cries and thrust her arms out to break her fall, but the instant her right hand connected with the ground every nerve in the appendage screamed in protest. Rolling onto her back, Usagi pulled the wounded hand to her chest and squeezed her eyes shut before drawing in a sharp breath through clenched teeth. What had she done to her hand? When she opened her eyes the Senshi were kneeling down around her, their faces lined with concern. Shamefaced, Usagi averted her gaze and wished the ground would open up and swallow her whole.
Jupiter had other plans. After giving Usagi a quick once-over, she thrust a sturdy arm beneath her shoulders and hoisted her up into a sitting position. Then she clucked her tongue and quirked a wry brow. "Guess you weren't ready, huh?"
Usagi blushed and turned her eyes to the ground. "I guess not."
"Well, I think it's time for a break," Jupiter announced, draping Usagi's left arm over her shoulders. "Mercury still hasn't figured out how to get us out of here and wandering around aimlessly isn't getting us anywhere. Come on, Venus, help me get her up."
Sailor Venus moved to Usagi's other side and placed an arm around her waist to support her as they pulled her up from the ground. Frustrated to be rendered so weak and helpless in front of her new ally, Usagi kept her gaze trained on her feet. Sore, disoriented, and exhausted, all she wanted to do was go home, crawl into bed, and bring this nightmarish day to an end.
Mars found a raised outcrop of rock to serve as a temporary bench, and Usagi murmured quiet thanks as Jupiter and Venus helped get her settled. Jupiter sat down beside her and planted a steadying hand behind her back, but Venus withdrew as soon as Usagi was situated. The retreat stung like a rebuff.
Venus was no doubt disappointed, and Usagi had been so desperate to impress her. What chance did she have of that now? She could barely stand on her own, let alone lead the Senshi out of this mess. Not to mention the fact that she'd never made it to the meeting today. How had the Senshi found her anyway? She hadn't been able to use her communicator when everything had been happening with Mamo—
Usagi's head snapped up, turning left then right as she searched for the missing face. Where was Mamoru? Where was Tuxedo Kamen? How had she forgotten about him until now? Her gaze lit upon the four Senshi, Luna, Venus's white cat—Usagi couldn't remember his name right now—but there was no sign of the masked man anywhere.
"Where?" Usagi asked, her voice hoarse and desperate. "Where is he?"
No answer came. She scanned the grim faces around her one by one, but no one would look her in the eye.
"Where is Tuxedo Kamen?"
"He's gone."
Usagi turned to Sailor Mars. Though her expression was no less bleak than the others', she at least met Usagi's gaze.
"Gone?" Usagi repeated with hollow disbelief. The word echoed in her mind as she struggled to process it. Gone. Gone. Gone. When the contents of her stomach threatened to revolt, she squeezed her eyes shut and forced herself to swallow, unpleasant though the action was. Inhaling through her nose, she held the air in her lungs for several moments before releasing it through chapped lips. Panic-stricken and fearing the worst, Usagi mustered the courage to ask her next question. Mars would not lie to her.
"Do you mean…is he…"
Half-voiced though it was, Mars understood, and her reaction was vehement. "No, of course not! He's alive!"
Relief washed over Usagi with the force of a tidal wave. Mamoru was alive. The revelation buoyed her spirits for the span of two heartbeats until logic set in. If he was alive then where was he? He'd been seriously injured; there was no way he could have escaped on his own.
"Where is he?" Usagi asked once more.
Sailor Mars's fierce expression dimmed before she cast her eyes to the ground. "He was taken by the enemy."
"What?" Usagi exclaimed. "How could you let that happen?"
Mars stiffened, but Venus stepped forward to respond. "Our focus was ensuring your protection, Princess. That is our duty as your Senshi. It will always be our first priority."
Usagi stared at Venus in mute bewilderment. She wanted to object, to advocate on Mamoru's behalf, but the conviction in Venus's expression intimidated her. Regardless, the words didn't sit well with Usagi. She wasn't sure which part of the statement bothered her more; the princess reference, the mention of duty, or the uncompromising tone in which it had been delivered.
Before she could decide, the white cat cleared his throat and stepped forward. "Now that the Princess has regained consciousness we should talk."
"I'm not a princess," Usagi muttered, but no one seemed to hear her.
"It's time for all of you to learn the truth," he went on before glancing at Luna. "Have your memories returned, Luna?"
"Yes," Luna answered with a nod. "When the Princess awakened it all became clear again."
Still reeling from the news of Mamoru's capture, Usagi couldn't understand their cavalier change of subject. Tuxedo Kamen had been taken by the enemy. What could be more important than that?
"What do you mean?" Jupiter asked. "What memories?"
"The memories of our past lives," Venus answered.
Usagi could think of nothing she wanted to discuss less. Flexing the sore muscles of her right hand, she let her eyes wander back to Venus and started when she found the new Senshi watching her. When Venus did not look away, Usagi squirmed under her silent regard. Was the new Senshi sizing her up? What did she see? Discomfited and unwilling to speculate, Usagi looked away.
"…the Moon kingdom during a time known as the Silver Millennium."
The white cat launched into his tale, pulling Usagi's gaze. As she studied the golden crescent moon nestled in the white fur on his forehead, fragmented recollections flooded her brain. Her right hand gave an involuntary twinge, and she cast her eyes to the ground, determined to block out the conversation happening around her. Usagi didn't want to hear it; any of it. She didn't need to hear it. She'd been shown it.
Blue eyes and a crescent moon seared into her mind's eye…
Usagi raised her right hand and cradled it against her chest, but the raw ache resisted comfort, resonating within her, leeching away her energy and calm. Like a virus, it spread throughout her body, magnifying all other afflictions. Intensifying the ache in sore legs that tingled with the acute sensation of renewed circulation. Deepening the exhaustion of a throbbing head that felt as though it might burst at any moment, overfull no doubt with the memories of two lifetimes. And amplifying the uncertainty in a conflicted heart that clenched painfully with each and every beat.
Usagi yearned to calm it, to ease it, but she didn't know how.
Her mind was a jumbled mess of thoughts and emotions too chaotic to sort through. Nothing made sense. Contrary images of familiar people in unfamiliar places kept flashing through her brain, calling everything she thought she knew into question. Fearing that she was losing her grasp on reality, Usagi strove to focus on absolutes. Things she knew with certainty. Family and friends…but whose were they? She knew her father, she knew Shingo, but when she thought of her mother, two women came to mind. One, a complete stranger, was the exact likeness of Usagi. The other, a woman she'd known her whole life, looked nothing like her.
Doubt swept in like the tide, threatening to erode her tenuous grip on the truth. She needed to calm down, take a breath. Needed to remind herself that she'd been through this before, months ago when she'd first met Luna. The fear of lost identity. She had conquered that fear by convincing herself that this wasn't actually a loss, but a gain.
Of all people, she, Tsukino Usagi, had been chosen to serve as Sailor Moon. To fight as a soldier alongside extraordinary allies. She'd believed that meant something inside of her made her uniquely qualified to protect the world. That belief had sustained her through countless moments of doubt and untold hardships. It had comforted her when others had sought to tear her down. And now she was being told that it had all been a lie.
Tsukino Usagi had not been chosen.
Tsukino Usagi was not special.
Tsukino Usagi was nothing more than a stand-in. She had been naive enough to think herself the star of the show, when in fact she had only been the understudy. Serenity had been there all along, waiting in the wings to step out and take centre stage. Was the princess still in there, poised to seize control once again? Usagi scoured her mind for any sign of Serenity's presence.
'Are you gone?' she whispered inwardly. Fearful of the potential reply, Usagi wondered why the ensuing silence failed to comfort her.
"It's our duty to protect this world. We have to fight to keep the ginzuishou and the Princess safe."
Despite her attempts to block it out, a snippet of the ongoing discussion made its way to Usagi's ears, and she suppressed a wry laugh. Keep the princess safe. That was her mission. Luna had told her to fight the enemy and find the princess. Apparently Luna hadn't been as clued in as she thought. All this time Usagi had been searching for a princess, and all she'd needed to do was look in the mirror. Was that irony? She didn't much feel like asking Ami right now.
"…do whatever it takes to prevent the past from repeating itself."
"Right. We fight together as a team."
"Aren't you sick of it?"
A heavy silence descended, prompting Usagi to look up. Only then did she realize that she'd said the words out loud. All eyes were on her. A part of her shied away, ashamed of the verbal slip. Another part of her, a part she tried to keep locked away most of the time, scratched and snarled to be let loose.
Jupiter laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Sailor Moon," she said, her voice soft and unsure, "what do you—"
"Aren't you sick of it?"
The words came out loud and clear this time, even a touch shrill. Usagi yearned to pull them back, but something akin to hysteria had taken over. She looked to the Senshi for aid, but their startled expressions only fueled her frenzied state. She was losing control again; this time not to some foreign invader, but to a dark, selfish part of her that she had long repressed.
Too long, it would seem.
"Aren't you sick of it?" she repeated. "Because I am. I don't want to fight anymore."
Even if it was wrong, it felt good to say the words out loud.
Mars was the first to respond. "How can you say that?" she snapped, and her anger came as no surprise to Usagi.
"Mars," Jupiter intervened, looking to diffuse the situation before it got too heated. "She's tired and stressed. This isn't the time."
"This is the time," Mars insisted. "This is exactly the time when it matters most." Usagi flinched as she fell under the full force of Mars's fierce violet gaze. "How can you say that? You don't want to fight anymore? It's not something we get to choose."
Usagi knew Mars meant to shame her, but the words only served to bolster her resolve. She pushed herself to rise in order to confront Mars head-on. "Why don't I get to choose?" she countered, throwing her hands up and gesturing to the others. "Why don't any of us get a choice?"
"Princess—" Venus stopped short when Usagi's turbulent glare lit upon her.
"Don't call me that!" Usagi ordered, stomping her foot for effect. "I'm not a princess. I don't want to be a princess. I'm Tsukino Usagi! I don't want someone else's memories. I don't want someone else's past. I don't want any of this!"
"And you think we do?" Mars fired back. "Do you think this is what I want, Usagi? What any of us want? This is your destiny. You can't just run away from it."
"Why not? Why can't I?" Usagi knew how childish she sounded, and she knew the others would judge her for it. Tuxedo Kamen certainly had.
'You're a child.' His succinct appraisal sounded no less cutting in her memory.
"You're a coward."
Echoing Usagi's thoughts, Mars's harsh statement hit her like a swift kick in the gut, and Usagi lashed out like a wounded animal. "You're right, Rei, I am a coward. I'm not as strong as you. I can't see the people I love, the people I care about, put themselves in danger every day and not be terrified! Tuxedo Kamen…Mamoru…"
Usagi turned away, tears spilling from her eyes, as the crushing weight of reality pressed down upon her. Mamoru was gone, wounded, and in the hands of the enemy because of her. Sinking down into in a bottomless pit of self-loathing and fearing she might never get out, Usagi unleashed her misery on the person closest to her.
"I'm sorry that seeing people getting hurt bothers me, Rei. I'm sorry that I'm not heartless like you."
The words had scarcely left her mouth before she regretted them, but the sharp crack of the slap against her cheek took Usagi completely by surprise. She staggered back a few steps before pressing a shaky hand to her face in order to soothe the intense sting. Stunned, she turned watery eyes on her assailant.
Mars stood opposite her, staring at her own outstretched hand in shock as tears streamed down her face. When her eyes rose to Usagi they were full of hurt and shame. Afraid to speak, for fear of what might come out of her mouth next, Usagi stood in silent horror, appalled by her own thoughtlessness. She was a poor excuse for a Senshi and an even worse friend. Of course Rei must be upset, given her relationship with Mamoru…
Venus broke the oppressive silence with a terse cough. "That's enough for now. The Princ—" She paused when Usagi visibly bristled. "Sailor Moon needs rest, and we all need to get out of here. Mercury, have you come up with anything?"
"Yes," Mercury replied, tapping her right earring to dispel the transparent visor of her HUD. "According to my analysis, the exit isn't far from here."
Luna gave Mercury an approving nod, then ran her scarlet gaze over Usagi's face before addressing the group. "The exit may be close, but remember to stay on guard. We're not out of the woods yet."
The familiar words triggered a memory of Mamoru, and Usagi's heart gave a painful lurch. How many times had he warned her today? How many times had she refused to listen? If only she hadn't been so stubborn, so thoughtless. If only she'd made a different choice somewhere along the way, then maybe… Maybe what? Maybe things would be different? Maybe none of this would have happened?
Or maybe…maybe there had never been any choice at all. Maybe none of this had been avoidable. Maybe today's events had nothing to do with bumping into Mamoru on the sidewalk, or how many times she'd hit the snooze button on her alarm clock that morning. Maybe this was all the result of choices that had been made long before today… Millennia ago.
Jupiter appeared at her side. "We've gotta head out." When Usagi didn't reply Jupiter laid a hand on her shoulder. "Hey, you all right?"
Blinking, Usagi shook her head and waved Jupiter off. "I just…just gimme a minute." She needed a few moments to herself. Time to think. Space to breathe. The others were already moving out, but Jupiter remained at her side. Desperate for some small reprieve, Usagi looked her in the eye and made a heartfelt plea. "Please, Mako-chan."
Jupiter's resolute expression softened. "A minute then," she conceded, "but stay in sight." Usagi nodded and Jupiter headed off, looking back over her shoulder only once.
"A minute will do just fine."
There was barely enough time to register the deep, menacing voice before a savage yank on her pigtails sent Usagi reeling. Fighting to keep her feet beneath her, she stumbled back against an invisible assailant. Before she could recover, a second vicious jerk wrenched her head all the way back. Blinking through tears, Usagi stared up into a familiar icy blue gaze and froze.
Kunzite.
A belated scream rose in her throat, but it was cut short as Kunzite clamped a heavy hand over her mouth. "Give me the ginzuishou now, Sailor Moon, and I promise your death will be swift." Choking on a muffled cry, Usagi drew a panicked breath through her nose and reached for the hand at her mouth. Kunzite's chest rumbled with a low chuckle as she clawed at his fingers. "Every moment you delay will only increase your suffering," he warned, tightening his grip on her hair. "Tell me, Princess, do you bleed red or silver?"
"Crescent Beam!"
Kunzite bellowed with outrage and let loose his hold. Unprepared for her sudden freedom, Usagi teetered back and forth on her heels before plunging down on her hands and knees. Ignoring the ache in her right hand, she scrambled forward on all fours until a pair of warm arms encircled her shoulders. When Usagi looked up into Sailor Mercury's reassuring face she released a grateful whimper.
"Keep her safe, Mercury!" Venus called out.
Mercury nodded and ran a gentle, probing hand over Usagi's tender scalp before helping her to her feet.
"None of you are safe," Kunzite spat.
Peering over Mercury's shoulder, Usagi assessed Kunzite with a wary eye. Though the Dark General stood tall, the right sleeve of his military tunic was slashed at the shoulder, revealing a deep, bloody gash. Venus was a deadly shot. Eyeing the new Senshi with malice, he used his good arm to unfasten the clasps of his cape. The heavy white fabric fell to the ground as he adjusted his torn sleeve.
"Tell your princess to give me the ginzuishou," he said, addressing Venus, "or I will rend her limb from limb."
Jupiter wasted no time readying her assault. "You won't touch her, Kunzite," she growled as sparks of electricity crackled around her. Venus moved to Jupiter's flank and summoned another crescent beam to join her fierce lightning. Fused together, their combined attacks hurtled toward Kunzite in a blinding beacon of electrified energy.
Kunzite's stony expression betrayed no hint of fear as he raised his arms into the air. A sinuous black cloud amassed before him, obscuring him from view as it solidified into a circular onyx barrier. Fearing that it would reflect the magic, Usagi cried out and lurched forward, but Mercury was there to hold her back, locking her arms around her waist and forcing her further away from the fray. The attack didn't rebound. It was absorbed instead, and though Mercury appeared worried, Usagi sagged with relief.
Without missing a beat, Kunzite clenched his outstretched hands into fists and gathered an enormous ball of white lightning. Jupiter and Venus gasped in unison as he thrust his arms down and launched the attack straight at them. A shrill cry tore from Usagi's throat when the assault hit both Senshi with enough force to blow them off their feet. Their agonized screams rang out as they careened through the air before crashing to the ground.
Eager to rush to their aid, Usagi thrashed against Mercury's hold. She would have broken free had it not been for Mars, who, anticipating Usagi's reaction, had run over to help restrain her. Usagi fought them tooth and nail, spluttering protests all the while, but she was no match for the both of them in her weakened state. Shaky and spent, she went limp.
Gripping her by the shoulders, Mars waited for Usagi to meet her eyes, then dipped her chin in a brief nod. Before Usagi could say or do anything, Mars passed her into Mercury's waiting arms and turned to face Kunzite.
"Get her out of here, Mercury."
Usagi watched Mars clasp her hands together. Heard her cry out the familiar words that would summon her fiery birthright. "We have to help her, Mercury, she's not powerful enough!"
But Mercury was already looping an arm around Usagi's shoulders and pushing her in the opposite direction. "You have to get out of here, Sailor Moon. I need you to run." Mercury pointed ahead, away from the fight. "If you go this way you'll find the exit."
Usagi refused to listen. "I won't leave here without you." When Mercury continued to push, she dug her heels into the ground. "I won't just run away." She spun around and grabbed Mercury's wrists. "We leave here as a team or not at all."
Though a faint smile curved her lips, Mercury's puckered brow betrayed her frustration. "It's our job to protect you. If we fail to do that, we'll lose much more than each other."
Mars's piercing scream ripped through the air, seizing their attention, and Usagi's eyes widened in horror before Mercury pivoted. Caught in a blistering wave of her own flame, Mars stood, arms braced before her, in a heart-wrenching display of fortitude. When the searing onslaught fizzled out and the smoke cleared, she lowered her arms and collapsed.
Usagi gaped at Mars's prone, singed form and choked back a strangled sob before turning to Kunzite. "Stop it, you monster! Just leave them alone!"
Kunzite spared the fallen Senshi a dispassionate glance before fixing his cold gaze on Usagi. "Are you ready to stop hiding behind your Senshi now, little Princess?" His lips curled in an ugly sneer before his eyes shifted to Mercury. "Or will you allow all of them to fall for you?"
Mercury stepped forward before Usagi had a chance to respond. "I may not be strong enough to beat you, but I can slow you down." She pulled her arms to her chest, and a moment later the air was obscured with fog.
Blinded by Mercury's magic, Usagi flailed her arms in search of her last remaining ally. She yelped when hands seized her, then sobbed with relief as Mercury's familiar face appeared in the mist. Usagi threw her arms around her and held tight despite Mercury's attempts to pry her hands loose.
"You have to go, Sailor Moon!" Mercury whispered. "Leave now, while I can distract him. Luna and Artemis should be waiting up ahead." Managing to extricate herself from Usagi's death grip, Mercury gave her a gentle push in the direction of the exit.
Tears streamed down Usagi's face as she shook her head and grabbed Mercury's hand. "Mercury, no, please don't ask me to do that." She drew in a loud, snivelling breath. "I can't lose you. I can't lose any of you." Just the thought of it nearly drove Usagi to her knees. "Please, Ami…"
Mercury's eyes grew soft, and her mouth curved in a gentle smile as she laid a hand on Usagi's shoulder. "Don't worry, Sailor Moon, everything will be all—"
The attack came without warning, cutting through the mist and striking Mercury square in the back. Usagi drew in a sharp gasp as Mercury's soft expression morphed from surprise to agony in the span of a breath. A rasping wheeze passed through her lips before she pitched forward into Usagi's arms. They crumpled to the ground together, and Usagi sobbed with abandon as she pulled Mercury against her chest.
"Mercury!" She practically howled the name. "Oh, Mercury."
Mercury groaned before her eyelids fluttered open. "Sailor Moon." Her voice was weak and hoarse, no more than a whisper. "I'm sorry." Her body went limp.
"Mercury, no!" Usagi's anguished wail rang out like a siren. Wrapping her arms around her fallen friend, she bowed her head and wept. Hot tears poured from her eyes into Mercury's soft, blue hair. With a loud sniffle, Usagi took a deep, shuddering breath and dragged an arm across her dripping face before reaching down to smooth the mussed indigo locks.
The fog around her began to dissipate, revealing a battlefield littered with the bodies of her companions. They had stood as her protectors, and one by one each of them had fallen. Guilt and sorrow converged with devastating impact. This was all her fault. First Mamoru, and then Makoto, Rei, Ami… Usagi released a pathetic whimper when her eyes fell upon Sailor Venus and she realized that she didn't even know the girl's real name.
"Children, all of you."
The dismissive words pierced through Usagi's grief, and she released a low hiss through clenched teeth before steeling herself to face her tormentor. She found Kunzite standing between Jupiter and Venus. Eyeing them with disgust, he toed the latter's arm with a careless boot before stepping past them. The show of disrespect sparked a furious flame of anger in Usagi's breast, and she rose to face him.
"We are not children." She hardly recognized her own voice. "I am not a child."
Kunzite rejected her claim with a condescending sneer. "You're nothing more than a pathetic little girl fighting a war you can't possibly hope to win."
Usagi scowled and narrowed her eyes. "You don't know anything about me."
Kunzite raised a single white eyebrow before he gestured to the bodies at his feet. "I know that you would let the ones you care about stand and fall for you, rather than fight yourself."
The cruel insight doused Usagi's hot anger, striking at the heart of her insecurities. Doubt crept in, gnawing away at her insides, threatening to consume her.
[[Do not allow him to subvert you with his poisonous words.]]
The voice took Usagi so completely by surprise that she nearly whirled around in search of the speaker. 'You're still here,' she thought in wonder.
[[I am.]]
Dumbfounded, Usagi's brow knit in confusion. 'What does subvert mean?'
[[We can expand your vocabulary another time. For now, you must concentrate.]]
Unaware of Usagi's internal dialogue, Kunzite held out a hand. "Give me the ginzuishou, Princess."
[[You mustn't let him have it.]]
Usagi had no intention of doing any such thing. Gritting her teeth in anticipation of the fight to come, she lifted her chin and looked Kunzite in the eye. "You're pretty stupid if you think I'd ever hand it over to you while I'm still breathing."
Kunzite's answering smile sent a chill down her spine. "Well then, I'll just have to remedy that."
His opening move had all the force of a finishing blow. Though Usagi had braced herself for the barrage of dark power, her efforts did little to dampen the pain it inflicted. Caught in the wild tempest of Kunzite's magic, Usagi's hair whipped madly around her face, errant strands stinging her eyes. It was all she could do just to remain standing. The dark energy seeped in through her pores, chilling her to the bone, feeding upon her limited reserve of strength with each passing second, threatening to force her to her knees.
Usagi gasped with effort as sweat beaded her brow. He was so powerful, what hope did she have? She doubted her tiara could penetrate his shield, and she'd only ever used the wand for healing and purification.
[[The ginzuishou.]]
The wand materialized in Usagi's hand without conscious thought. She looked down in surprise and studied the small, twinkling crystal mounted on the golden crescent. Pretty though it was, it looked more like a decorative trinket than the legendary magical artifact it purported to be. Given that she had no idea how to use it, the distinction seemed a moot point.
[[It is your birthright, the ability is inherent.]]
Sensing that she could not hold out against Kunzite's relentless assault much longer, Usagi adjusted her stance and drew in a steadying breath before closing her eyes. Despite Serenity's insistence that she could do this, Usagi was plagued with doubt. Luna had always been there to tell her what to do; would she be able to figure this out on her own? Gripping the wand tight in her hand, she raised it high above her head and waited for the magic to pour out. Several moments passed, but nothing happened.
The sound of Kunzite's cruel laughter filled her ears, underscoring her failure. "Foolish girl! Do you truly think you can defeat me? Even if you knew how to use the ginzuishou, your insignificant power is no match for my own." Emboldened by her impotence, Kunzite pressed his advantage, ramping up the intensity of his attack.
Usagi's legs buckled under the pressure, and she dropped to one knee. Deep down, she feared Kunzite was right. She had no idea what she was doing. 'Please,' she thought, 'I don't know what to do. You have to help me.'
[[I am too weak to act. You must be our strength. You need only look within yourself to find the knowledge you seek. You have called upon its power more than once this day.]]
Why couldn't Serenity ever just give her a straight answer? Usagi needed help, not riddles. Jaw clenched, eyes watering, she slammed her left hand against the ground and cursed her own incompetence. Only Usagi would be granted an object of tremendous power and have no idea whatsoever how to use it. Why had the ginzuishou even come to her in the first place?
"Say your prayers, little Princess!" Kunzite taunted, his eyes alight with sadistic glee. "I will dispose of you and avenge Zoisite in the process!"
Though it was clear that the words were meant to instill fear, Usagi drew inspiration from them instead. Earlier, when she'd been trapped in the elevator with Mamoru, and Zoisite's fire had raged down the elevator shaft… The power Usagi had used to save them, that had to have been the ginzuishou. But how had she managed to use it?
She hadn't called upon some mystical crystal. She hadn't waved a wand or recited a magical phrase. She'd just prayed. Prayed for the strength to save Mamoru and herself. Prayed for a power beyond her own. Usagi forced herself to look away from Kunzite's frenzied expression and turned her attention to the motionless bodies of her friends. As she glimpsed each of their battered faces, she found the clarity she sought.
Pushing herself to rise up against the crushing force of Kunzite's onslaught, Usagi planted her feet, raised the wand in both hands, closed her eyes…and prayed. Prayed for Mamoru, wherever he was. Prayed for her friends, who had risked their lives to protect her. Prayed for the power to defend the people dearest to her heart.
The warmth rushed over her again, but this time Usagi was ready for it. She embraced it as it bloomed from deep within her and burst forth, surging up her arm and exploding out into the wand. As before, it seared the palms of her hands, but she gritted her teeth and maintained her grip. Curiosity drove her to open her eyes, but the blazing light emanating from the wand obscured her vision. Kunzite's surprised exclamation was her only indication of success.
Palms scorched, fingertips growing numb, Usagi released a low, guttural moan as she pushed through the pain. Her tense muscles began to quiver under the prolonged strain, and panting with exertion, she wondered how long she would have to keep this up. Though her strength was waning and weariness threatened to overtake her, Usagi forced herself to hold on just a little longer.
Digging deep, she drew upon the last reserves of her energy to expend one final burst of power. The ginzuishou's light intensified to such a degree that she had no choice but to turn her eyes away from its blazing shine. The brilliance pushed outward, encompassing everything in its path as it eradicated the darkness. Unable to hear anything over the deafening roar of her heart pounding in her ears, Usagi counted ten full beats before opening her eyes.
The dark walls that had surrounded her were gone. Standing in the open air beneath a starry sky, Usagi filled her lungs with cool night air, her chest heaving in and out with each laboured breath. Exhausted as she was, she could not seem to loosen her grip on the wand, or even lower her arms for that matter. She stared forward, eyes transfixed on the crescent moon wand and the tiny crystal mounted upon it. The last remnants of the ginzuishou's light dimmed before it twinkled harmlessly in the moonlight.
Astonished by her show of power, and perhaps a little fearful of it as well, Usagi closed her eyes and willed the wand away. As soon as it disappeared, her body went lax. She breathed a weary sigh as her arms dropped to her sides and her head fell forward. A million thoughts and feelings crowded her mind, jostling for attention, but exhaustion dulled her response. She knew there was more yet to be done, but she was tired. So very tired.
[[You have done well. Rest now.]]
Usagi couldn't rest. She needed to find the Senshi and make sure they were all right.
[[Do not fret. All is well, and you have exhausted yourself. You must rest.]]
Usagi wanted to argue, but her eyes were already drifting shut. There was a soft fluttering in her mind and the sensation of arms embracing her as she fell into sweet oblivion.
Thank you as always for reading!
I always liked this episode because it actually took the time to acknowledge some the the many issues Usagi would have struggled with after the past lives reveal. My only beef with it was that those very same issues were quickly resolved by the time the credits rolled. Spoiler Alert: that will not be the case in this story.
Feedback of any kind is humbly encouraged and greatly appreciated.
