Chapter 9 - I Know Someone's Waiting
Ahsoka streaks through the darkness of space in her fighter, swerving away from the blinding explosion rings out outside her viewport. Vulture droids streak through space past her and she opens fire, shooting them down as she, Anakin, and Obi-Wan attempt to press their attacks, making their way toward the enormous Separatist attack ship, the Invisible Hand. They're attacking Coruscant.
Ahsoka still can't believe the Separatists managed to attack the very heart of the Republic. It'll be the most pivotal battle of the war and she knows that – three and a half years in and they have the chance right here to finally end it or – or they'll lose. And that is unthinkable.
Obi-Wan's yowling about having buzz droids all over him distracts Ahsoka for a moment from the droids she's fighting and she swings her ship around, enough that she's able to catch sight of the two of them.
Anakin attempts to fire on Obi-Wan's ship, only to nearly blow the wing right off.
"You're not helping!" Obi-Wan whines, "The mission. Get to the Command ship. Get the Chancellor. I'm running out of tricks here."
Ahsoka heart lurches as she sees it. Space battles are some of the riskiest - there's a reason Ryloth was the first time Anakin let her fly her own fighter in an actual battle.
"Don't be ridiculous," Ahsoka calls, with way more flippancy than she feels.
"I'm not leaving without you, Master," Anakin replies firmly.
Anakin finally resorts to knocking the droids off Obi-Wan's fighter with his own wing and at last they streak ahead for the Invisible Hand. She wants to say the hard part is over but it might actually just be beginning. Biel is down there on the surface and so is Padme, and the rest of the Jedi and three billion other people. They cannot lose.
**w**
"I've been looking forward to this." Dooku's face is smug.
Anakin holds his gaze evenly, refusing to show any of the fear he's feeling. At least Palpatine is alright, even if he's still stun-cuffed to the elaborate chair behind them The Separatists would have been stupid to hurt him but nothing could quite compare to Anakin's panic the moment he heard they were attacking Coruscant, knowing that Palpatine was going to be their target. He remembers a bit of the Festival of Light. They had come so close to losing him then.
That was actually the last time Anakin faced down Dooku and he... hadn't won. Even if it was a close thing.
He doesn't remember all the details of his fights with Dooku for throughout the war. Those of his memories that haven't come back, Anakin doesn't think are ever going to at this point, but he remembers most things, and that's more than he could have asked for nearly a year ago when he was first lost. What he does remember of how the Count fights will have to be enough.
"My powers have doubled since the last time we met, Count," Anakin shoots back. Maybe it's not true, but well... They'll find out.
"Good. Twice the pride, double the fall," the Sith sneers.
Anakin eyes narrow.
"Meaning yourself?" Ahsoka snips, shifting into her fighting stance. "Because this is going to be quiet the fall for you."
They all jump Dooku at once.
The fight is fast and brutal, as always. It's the first time since he came back that Anakin's fought another lightsaber wielder on the battlefield. But he's trained and he knows what he's doing. That doesn't stop Dooku from finding an opening long enough to Force-kick Obi-Wan aside and to slash his lightsaber deeply across Ahsoka's arm. She stumbles back with a cry and Anakin goes for Dooku's head with a sudden rush of rage.
It's enough that Dooku took Anakin's arm. He's not going to permanently hurt Ahsoka too. The fierce determination to protect her and Obi-Wan, who's also already down, is enough to fuel him as he keeps pushing Dooku back, finding an opening to slash straight through his wrists. Dooku falls to his knees on the floor with a gasp and Anakin catches his blade, crossing them at his neck.
He won. He actually won. And Dooku is defeated.
On the far side of the room, he sees Ahsoka's made it to Obi-Wan's side, and she's shaking his shoulder. A flicker of relief runs through him seeing that they're both alright.
"Good, Anakin, good," Palpatine compliments, "Kill him. Kill him now."
Anakin stills at the order, hands tightening on the lightsaber hilts. That's an order and this is Dooku. He's killed trillions of people across the galaxy for his own gain. He deserves it, truthfully, but that's not Anakin's choice to make. This isn't the Jedi way. It's not – "I shouldn't," he objects.
"Do it," he orders.
He can't refuse a direct order like that. It's not his place, his role, no matter what Palpatine is to him on a personal level. But – but – "It's not the Jedi way," he argues. He's not an ideal Jedi anyway and he knows that but he's still trying. Even if balancing that and his... family is hard sometimes.
Obi-Wan's stirring now, though, and that's the last motivation Anakin needs to step back, deactivating the lightsabers.
"He's too dangerous to be left alive," Palpatine replies.
"I..." Anakin trails off, wavering. Palpatine's not wrong and that's the hardest part about this.
Ahsoka glances up, looking between them and now that Anakin's already turned his lightsabers off, it feels to... He can't bring himself to flick one of them back on and run Dooku through even if – if maybe he should.
Palpatine doesn't look pleased but he doesn't say anything more. It makes something in Anakin twist uncomfortably. He ignored his orders and this is the Chancellor and what if what he just did was wrong? What if he's going to get even more people killed by not having ended Dooku right here and now? It's not a choice that he should get to make – whether or not someone deserves to die – but... So many could be lost and he ignored an order and –
Anakin deactivates the stun-cuffs on Palpatine with the Force, not quite able to bring himself to look at him. Obi-Wan and Ahsoka come over to join him moments later, and they take Dooku along as they take off, trying to find a way off the ship.
For now, it's enough to let the questions spiraling through Anakin's mind fade to the background.
**w**
In the end, whether or not he should've killed Dooku turns out not a concern since he's sucked into space when Grievous smashes the viewport on the bridge. Dooku's definitely dead but Grievous is not. So Anakin doesn't know why he can't stop thinking about the moment Palpatine gave him that order. It's just – he disobeyed it and... The fact that he was told to do it at all is bothering him just a little too and he doesn't even know. It probably doesn't matter because it's the past now, but still.
It's bright and sunny down on the surface when they make it to the Senate in a transport. Buildings are smoking all across the horizon, though, and the usual endless lines of traffic have significantly decreased. Some people were obviously wise enough to stay out of the air and out of sight during the worst of the battle and no one's risked coming back out of hiding yet.
Crowds of people are swarming around outside the Senate building to greet them.
Ahsoka pokes his arm. "Hey, look," she says, pointing.
Anakin follows her gaze, to see Engel and Biel attempting to push their way through the throngs to reach them. Anakin hasn't seen them in months. "Engel," he calls, eagerness flaring through him as he tries to push his way through the crowd of people.
There's too much noise for either of the triplets to hear him, though, and their focus seems to be entirely on Palpatine. Which is fair.
Their brother was the one who nearly died, after all.
They finally manage to make it to him, past the swarming Senators. "Are you alright, Sheev?" Biel asks, hovering at his side.
Engel touches his arm, expression pinched with obvious concern.
"Yes, I am," he assures.
"They didn't hurt you?" Engel asks, not looking very convinced.
"I don't believe they would have gone that far. And if they would have, they didn't have the time," he reassures.
Biel looks like he's about to hug him but then some more Senators move closer, distracting Palpatine from them.
Anakin tries to move his way through the crowd again, and this time the other two triplets finally and they immediately make their way over to them.
"Engel," Anakin breathes, moving forward abruptly, winding his arms around him.
"Anakin," he murmurs, catching him and squeezing him back tightly. The time apart hasn't made him miss being around Engel any less.
"It's nice to see you back, Ahsoka," Biel is saying, laying a hand on her shoulder.
She grins up at him. "Good to see you here, too."
"Good job rescuing my brother. Both of you," Engel adds, looking to Ahsoka to include her in the words.
She smiles back at him.
"I don't know when we would have been back, if not for this attack," Anakin admits.
"I know," Engel agrees, expression growing a little grimmer, "I heard how bad it was out there."
"I'm glad you're both alright," Biel agrees, a little more subdued.
"Things look pretty bad here," Ahsoka comments, throwing a glance at the buildings off in the distance, many of which are still smoking. "I'm glad you were both alright."
"There's going to be a lot of cleanup," Biel agrees.
Anakin wishes they hadn't had to return under these kind of circumstances but he's also just... glad to be back. And then, from in between the crowd, Anakin spots someone else.
Padme. She's watching him, from behind one of the pillars.
He glances down at Ahsoka. Maybe he'll invite her over to Padme's apartment later. He – he wants a moment to talk to her alone right now, after how long they've been apart.
Ahsoka is chattering happily to Biel and Engel now so... maybe it's not a bad time, even if Anakin wants to stay here and talk to them, too.
"Looks like some others want my attention," Anakin speaks up, hoping no one will ask. He wishes so much sometimes that he could talk to someone about Padme but he can't. Not to anyone other than Rex. "I'll be back later."
"I'll come rescue you from the reporters later," Ahsoka snips cheerily.
"Thanks Snips," he deadpans with a chuckle before turning away, pushing his way through the crowd to where Padme is waiting.
Her face lights up the moment she sees him approaching and it makes his heart ache wildly over how much time they've been apart. They haven't truly been with each other since before he was lost in the first place and there's still so much of that he doesn't remember. He still feels kind of bad over how long they haven't been, feels like he's been ignoring her completely and he never meant to.
"Ani," she breathes, and he runs the rest of the way to her, pulling her into his arms. She squeezes him back and he takes a few moments to just hold her.
"I missed you," he murmurs, into her hair.
"Oh Ani," she breathes, hands reaching up, touching either side of his face, "I – it's been so long. There were whispers that you'd been killed."
"I'm fine. It's okay," he promises, "I didn't mean for us to be apart so long."
She looks up at him, into his eyes. "It's been... so long." He can see the desperate longing there.
"I'm sorry," Anakin says haltingly, "I know I wanted time but I did not mean for it to... hurt you. But I know it has."
"it's okay," Padme assures but he knows it's not.
He shakes his head. "It's not. You don't need to pretend it is. Maybe this evening I can.. come over?" he offers, uncertainly, "If you have time – "
"Doesn't matter. I'll make time for it," she promises, instantly brightening, "I'm glad you're back, Ani."
"So am I," he whispers, pulling her close again, "So am I."
Maybe it's also a little that after how long Anakin's been back, he really is beginning to see again why he married Padme in the first place. What he has with the Jedi isn't a true family. It can't be. They don't believe in that. There's a part of him that always has to hold back when he's around the Jedi because this isn't their way and he respects that but he just...
And the clones are his family too but that's also different because their very relationship is tied together with the knowledge that any of them could die any moment. For Padme it's – different. More like what family was like before he joined the Order.
And he... desperately wants that again.
**w**
The room is dark but what stands out to Anakin the most is the feel of impending doom. Of death. Darkness.
Engel is on the floor, a blue lightsaber leveled only inches away from his neck. Anakin can't see who's holding it but whoever it is moves the blade closer, only an inch away from Engel's neck and he can't move back, and –
There's something about him that feels almost like it's actually Palpatine for a moment, like that's the face he sees instead, but Anakin can't make sense of it.
All he knows is that whether it's Palpatine or Engle, he's about to die and that's a Jedi holding the lightsaber and he's about to kill him, and –
Anakin jerks awake with a quiet gasp, heart pounding.
What was that?!
What –
He doesn't know if that was Engel or Palpatine but either way, that was a Jedi who was about to kill him. He was being held at lightsaber point and it – was a vision. Anakin knows full-well what visions feel like. He's had them enough times to know the slight difference in how they feel from normal dreams.
He sits up in Padme's darkened bedroom, staring into the darkness. This is – He doesn't know. Something's not right but he can't figure out what it is. It doesn't really make sense.
He scoots out from under the blankets finally, making his way out to the balcony where there's a fountain of water. The sound of the water splashing lightly and the peaceful feel of it in the Force helps to focus his thoughts and calm his hammering heart. He doesn't know if they were about to be killed or not, just that there was an imminent danger to him. But –
He doesn't know how long he's been sitting in there in the seat, just trying to get his breathing under control.
The vision doesn't even make sense and that's half of what's confusing and scaring him so much. Palpatine is constantly in danger from potential Separatist 's terrified of something happening to him. He could die. The last attack on Coruscant is the second time he's nearly been assassinated and – He can't let anything happen to him. He can't imagine losing him again, either.
But Engel... he's never been in danger before. Anakin doesn't understand.
He should get back to bed before he disturbs Padme but he's .
Terrified, truthfully.
Something's wrong. And whatever it is, it's coming closer, far faster than he wants to think about.
**w**
When Anakin wakes up again, it's morning, the sunlight streaming in Padme's bedroom window, lighting the room. The walls are a deep blue that still make it look dark and he frankly doesn't understand the lighting choice but whatever she wants. He feels more rested this morning than he has in a long time.
But then he remembers the vision. A rush of overwhelming fear floods Anakin full force, entirely taking the edge off his good mood. He still doesn't understand what that was.
He'd like to linger at Padme's apartment when it's the first time they've spent this long with each other in years now but – there's a briefing back at the Temple.
Oh.
Right.
He'd better hurry or he's going to be late and Obi-Wan will be very annoyed.
He runs all the way there and does make it in time though he's a bit late. Several of the masters pause to look up at him as he enters just a bit too noisily. Anakin scrambles to the edge of the table, carefully avoiding the looks and just tries to blend in. He should've been here already. Even Ahsoka made it on time and it's not even required that she attend considering that she's still a padawan.
He tries to follow the rest of the meeting, even when his mind keeps jumping back to his vision.
"You were late," Obi-Wan tells him flatly, once everyone is starting to disperse.
"Sorry," he supplies, shame flickering through him, "I have no excuse." It's not like he can explain that he was at Padme's apartment and a little distracted.
Obi-Wan huffs out a breath but doesn't say anything more about it, thankfully.
They step out into the hall outside the briefing room, Ahsoka scrambling to catch up with Anakin, her padawan braid swinging at her shoulder.
"Be careful of your friend, Palpatine," Obi-Wan speaks up, after a long moment.
Anakin frowns. "Be careful of what?" What has that got to do with anything? His vision flashes through his mind again. He's pretty sure it's Palpatine he needs to be worried about.
"He's asking to speak with you alone."
"About what?"
"He didn't say."
"...The Council wasn't informed? That's unusual, isn't it?"
"All of this is unusual and it's making me uneasy," Obi-Wan replies. He doesn't seem happy.
Anakin doesn't know what to say to his concerns. He remembers that sometimes Obi-Wan – and the Council – seem to have something against Palpatine and he doesn't understand why.
"I shouldn't keep him waiting," Anakin says, quietly.
Obi-Wan nods though he still doesn't look happy as he turns to go.
Ahsoka catches Anakin's sleeve before he can head away too. "Is something wrong? You seem distracted."
He should've guessed she was going to notice. Anakin heaves out a sigh, looking down at her. "I – I don't know. I had a vision that I can't make sense of. It... might be nothing." His visions have never once been nothing, though.
"A vision?" she repeats, frowning, "Of what?"
"I saw someone threatening Engel with a blue lightsaber. I don't understand it."
Her eyemarkings shoot up. "That's weird."
"I know."
"People steal lightsabers sometimes on the black market," Ahsoka offers, "Or... I don't know. Maybe just tell him to be careful."
When she puts it like that – "Maybe I will," he replies, giving her a small smile, "Thanks, Snips."
Hopefully, that will be good enough. Now he needs to go see what Palpatine wants.
**w**
Sidious has been waiting for this moment for a long time. He's finally in the endgame and he cannot afford for anything to go wrong.
But that makes what happened on the Invisible Hand concerning, to say the least. Anakin refused to kill Dooku and Sidious hasn't forgotten. He knew the boy would be hesitant but he expected he would cave. But he... didn't. That light in him is still strong, far too strong and he can't let it stay that way. He must find a way to turn Anakin against the Jedi, and he's running out of time. He doesn't have time for this anymore.
The boy has to either Fall and join him or...
He will have to take other measures.
He would prefer to not have to consider what that will mean.
The door to his office slides open, Anakin stepping inside. He watches the way the boy's eyes skirt around the room, as though checking for any threats, probably still on edge after the Coruscant attack. But he seems... upset about something. Sidious senses it right off. But what is this something?
It could be anything given the recent attack on Coruscant but it may also be important. He'll have to ask him later if it stays true. Right now, he needs to focus on furthering the next crucial part of his plan.
"Anakin," Sidious starts, after they talk a little about the changes of the Council reporting to him instead of to the Senate. He now has almost complete control of everything. Except Anakin himself. "I've known you since you were a small boy. I have advised you over the years when I could... and I am very proud of your accomplishments."
Anakin smiles shyly, and Sidious can feel the way his heart flares at the praise. Praise he never gets from anyone else.
Except Engel.
"You have won many battles the Jedi Council thought were lost and you saved my life," he goes on, "I hope you trust me, Anakin."
"Of course." He seems overwhelmed and a little confused.
"I need your help, son." He relishes the way Anakin's Force presence nearly melts at the word.
"What do you mean?"
"I fear the Jedi. The Council keeps pushing for more control. They're shrouded in secrecy and obsessed with maintaining their autonomy... ideals. I find this simply incomprehensible in a democracy."
Anakin jerks to a stop and he senses a distinct flicker of fear. "I can assure you that the Jedi are dedicated to the values of the Republic, sir." It doesn't sound like he believes his own words as much he's pretending he does.
Hmm.
Did something happen? Is the Council actually further along in their plans to overthrow him than he's expecting?
"Nevertheless, their actions will speak more loudly than their words. I'm depending on you."
"For what? I don't understand."
"To be the eyes, ears, and voice of the Republic," Sidious replies. "Anakin, I'm appointing you to be my personal representative on the Jedi Council."
Anakin stares at him. "Me? A Master? I am overwhelmed, sir, but the Council elects its own members. They will never accept this."
Under normal circumstances, of course not. But now... He's setting the bait that he knows the Council is going to take. "I think they will," Sidious replies smoothly, "They need you more than you know."
**w**
Anakin knew the Council wouldn't be pleased with Palpatine's demand to have him on the Council. He just didn't expect they were going to react like this. They put him on the Council but refuse to make him a master. It's against everything that comes with being on the Council.
They want him to remember that he's not one of them.
Not a part of... whatever close to a family they have with each other. He's never been part of it. He remembers now, that's why he married Padme. That's why –
He just can't believe they're doing this. They can say no if they don't agree. But no, they're agreeing because... Palpatine said they need him for something and Anakin's even more on edge to know what he means by that now. He just can't imagine what.
His vision flickers through his mind again, along with Palpatine's words, and –
Palpatine suspects something but he didn't say what.
Anakin can't begin to fathom what but he knows something's wrong.
He tries to stay as small and invisible as he can the rest of the way through the meeting, until it's finally over so he's able to leave. He doesn't want to have to sit there and pretend that – that he's one of them when he's not, when they're just rubbing in his face that he's not and every moment sitting in that seat pretending he belongs here is making it worse.
Anakin holds it in until everyone's out of the Council chambers and Anakin is mostly alone in the hallway right outside with Obi-Wan. "Why are they putting me on the Council if they aren't making me a master?" Anakin demands bitterly. He feels less sure of his pace since his memories were lost and he thinks the Council has too since he forgot so much but still. That doesn't excuse how they're blatantly breaking their own rules just to remind him that he's – not one of them. And he doesn't understand why, what it is about him that's so broken and not good enough that he can't be one of them, that they don't want him.
Maybe it is because he wants a family and he shouldn't.
"You've been given a great honor, Anakin," Obi-Wan interrupts, turning to face him, "Being on the Council at your age has never happened before."
Anakin breathes out heavily, bitterness still burning deep in his heart. "Why are they breaking their own rules for me?"
"This isn't a usual appointment," Obi-Wan replies and he thinks it's meant to be soothing but it just frustrates him even more right now, "They only agreed because the Palpatine was insistent."
Anakin's eyes narrow a little. "They could have said no. I know they don't want me. What is this really about?"
That Obi-Wan doesn't dispute the "they don't want me' hurts more than he cares to think about. He seems momentarily hesitant, as though bracing himself for... something, which is weird. This is Obi-Wan. He doesn't get on edge when talking to Anakin. "They want you to report on the Chancellor's dealings. They want to know what he's up too."
It takes Anakin a full ten seconds to actually realize what he's saying. "You're asking me to spy on the Supreme Chancellor?" he demands, voice rising, "That's treason!"
"This is war, Anakin," Obi-Wan replies bluntly, "And he's managed to stay in office long after his term has expired. Something is out of place here."
His vision flickers through his mind again.
The Jedi Council is asking him to commit treason, to break the highest law of the Republic and the Jedi Code. They're – Force. What are they up to? Is – is Palpatine right that something more is... happening? "You're asking me to commit treason. To break the jedi Code, to betray a friend," Anakin replies slowly, "That is what's out of place here. Why are you asking this of me?"
And it hurts because they're using his friendship with Palpatine to betray him.
"The Council is asking you," Obi-Wan replies evenly.
Yes, but that changes nothing. They're just using him. They want him to betray Palpatine.
He still remembers how upset Palpatine was about the whole Engel thing, and this is much, much worse. Not to mention the laws they're breaking.
How is he even supposed to... Anakin has no idea what to do anymore.
He wishes the vision wasn't still burning at the forefront of his mind in silent warning.
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