GOOSEBELLY
He turned over atop his cushion with a loud belch, spitting the rat bone out among the countless others that littered the lodge floor. So much on his mind.
"Sneezy, haven't I thinned away since we stole those fledglings? Don't I dwindle?" He felt it, knew it, even as he groomed himself. Like an overripe apple, fallen to the earth, going mushy and soon to be full of worms. StarClan's vengeance, perhaps. They'd always been the prickly, petty sort. "My pelt sags off me like a snake's old skin."
Sneezy answered with a concerned achoo.
"I'll repent to my warrior ancestors, while I still feel the inkling. Or else soon enough, I won't have the strength or breath, and then where will they shunt me off to?"
Company. Villainous company had been the spoil of him.
"Goosebelly," Sneezy grumbled with a flick of his ears. "You'll wear your life out even faster with all this fretting."
"Well, there it is," Goosebelly sighed. "Come, tell me a joke. Make me merry."
A sneeze. Then, "All right… Okay… Why do some birds fly away for leaf-bare?"
"Why?"
"Well, it's too far to walk!"
Goosebelly just groaned, collapsing into the cushion with crushing mortal dread.
"I've been as virtuous as any other warrior," Goosebelly mused. At Sneezy's sidelong glance, he added, "Virtuous enough. Swore little; never skipped patrol…" More than once a day. "Never slept in the lodge more than once in a quarter-moon…" Not counting long naps. "Always fed the kits and elders." After feeding himself, to have the strength to hunt.
"I lived well, and in good compass," Goosebelly sighed, but not before giving up another belch. "And now I live out of all order, out of all compass."
"You are so fat, Goosebelly, that you must live out of all compass," Sneezy snickered. "Out of all reasonable compass, Goosebelly!"
The LeafClan warrior flicked his tail. "You amend your face, and I'll amend my life."
"Why, my face does you no harm," Sneezy bristled.
"I never look upon your face, except to think upon badger droppings."
Sneezy was mustering up some unclever retort when Miss Mittens slinked by, slipping in through the window.
"There she is, our lodge's Mittenstar," Goosebelly mewed, all charm for now. "Have you found who stole from my catmint stash?"
Miss Mittens flicked her ears in consternation. "Why, Goosebelly, do you think of us all as thieves? I've searched, I've enquired, so has Dolly; cat by cat, one and all. The tip of a whisker was never lost in this lodge before."
"Lies, Miss Mittens. Look how patchy Sneezy is; he's lost many a whisker, and I swear I had my catmint stolen. I'd bet you're in on it, rogue."
"Using your forest cat words on me? Rat's blood, I've never been called such in my own lodge before!" Miss Mittens hissed, bushing up to twice her normal size as she approached Goosebelly on his cushion.
"Leave off, I know you well enough," he said.
"No, you don't know me, Goosebelly," she said, pressing forward with menacing pawsteps, until Goosebelly had to slide backwards off his cushion. "I know you, Goosebelly, and you owe me fresh-kill, Goosebelly. Now, you make this fuss about your supposed catmint, to try and trick me out of the debt."
"Owe you fresh-kill?" He kicked an errant bone away as he backpedaled. "You call these rats fresh?"
"You ate them all the same," Miss Mittens spat. "You know the lodge's rules. Eat a rat, bring a rat in the next time you come. And yet the pile's always slimmer when you come to laze about! How many have you eaten today, Goosebelly, and how many have you hunted?"
"Now, how do you know it's me? Look at Sneezy. How many rats has he brought in?"
An indignant achoo.
Miss Mittens flicked her ears dismissively. "Sneezy can hardly hunt his own ticks, poor thing, leave him out."
"But what, I can't visit the lodge without having my catmint stolen? It was a whole bushel of it, brought back from the raid, won with my own claws."
The aged she-cat just scoffed and lashed her tail, glancing over to Sneezy. "A bushel? Maybe a few stems, that you already swallowed up with my rats. And I thought Sunfire chased you off and took your keep?"
"Thistle-fluff, Sunfire's a sneak-weasel and a tale-spinner. I'd box his head off like a dandelion in a fair fight, if he gave me reason."
A warrior's yowl with no better timing. His former apprentice appeared with Petey close behind him, shining golden through the filthy glass. Goosebelly let out a hearty purr. "There he is, good lad!"
"Sunfire!" Miss Mittens mewed. "You ought to hear this."
Sunfire lowered himself to slip through the gap, entering the lodge with a twitch of his whiskers. "Ought I?"
"Yes, yes, hear this," Goosebelly said, voice swallowing up Miss Mittens' protestations as she tried and failed to speak over him. "The other night I fell asleep here, behind the curtain. When I woke, the catmint I'd stashed and been saving for all the lodge was gone. This is a rogues' nest, indeed, Sunfire."
"Catmint? You're saying you saved it? And planned on sharing?" Sunfire questioned. "Doubtful, if you ever had any to begin with."
"Just like I said!" Miss Mittens mewed hotly. "And Sunfire, he speaks most vilely of you."
"What? No way, never," Sunfire said with mock incredulity.
"There's no faith, truth, or loyalty in me otherwise," Miss Mittens said emphatically.
"There's as much faith, truth, and loyalty in you as a fox, you thing," Goosebelly said.
"Thing? What thing?"
"A thing to thank the stars for."
"I'm no thing for you to thank the stars for. Your warrior name aside, you're a scamp to call me so."
"Setting your pelt aside, you're not a cat if you say otherwise."
"What else might I be, if not a cat?"
"What else?" Goosebelly said with a concealed grin behind his graying whiskers. "Why, an otter."
"An otter?" Sunfire interjected in their altercation. "Why an otter?"
"She's neither fish, nor flesh; a cat doesn't know which way to have her."
There were other cats slipping through the window as their argument rolled on, and a few chuckles spread among those with prying ears.
"You're an unjust fox-breath for saying so!" Miss Mittens fumed, teeth bared. "You or any cat knows how to have me, you toad-brained…!"
"Right you are, Mittens," Sunfire said with an amused twitch of his whiskers, "and he slanders you most vilely."
"He slanders you too, Sunfire!" Miss Mittens hissed. "He said just this other day that you owed him for all the fledglings you stole!"
"The ones we gave to the Clan, Goosebelly? I owe you those?" Sunfire pressed, eyes flicking to his former mentor.
"Those seven or so fledglings? No, hardly. A thousand." Goosebelly scoffed. "Your love is worth a thousand, and you owe me your love."
"And he called you a sneak-weasel, and said he'd box your head off!" Miss Mittens went on hotly.
"Did I, Sneezy?" Goosebelly asked with an expectant glance to the sooty black tom.
"Indeed, Goosebelly, you did," Sneezy replied through his congestion.
"Yes, if he gave me a reason too."
Sunfire flicked his tail. "I say you're lying about ever having a catmint stash. Dare you be as good as your word now?"
"Well, Sunfire," he purred. "If you weren't my clanmate and my leader's most precious kit, I would. But Rowanstar might look poorly on that, and I think it might be against the warrior code."
"Sure, the warrior code stops you now. There's no room for faith, truth, or honesty in that chest of yours; it's all filled up with guts and midriff," Sunfire said with a mentorly tut-tut. "Accuse an honest loner of stealing your catmint? You snake-bred, impudent rascal, I ate the tiny leaf of stale catmint you squirreled away while you were sleeping."
"What hope does anyone have for honesty in these days of treachery? Much less me. You see I have more flesh than other cats, and thus, more frailty," Goosebelly mewed, feigning humility. "You confess, then, you ate my catmint?"
"It appears so, by the story," Sunfire purred.
Goosebelly lashed his tail. "Miss Mittens, I forgive you. And if you would grab me another rat, I would be most grateful."
With a grumble, she padded off into another room of the lodge. Cats moved about, sharing tongues and fresh-kill almost like a Clan.
"Now, Sunfire, the news back in LeafClan? Is all well with your father?"
"I… think we've come to an understanding," Sunfire answered haltingly. "Count me in his good graces."
"I'll cheer to that!" Goosebelly purred. "Say, Shrikewing's gone traitor with the rest, hasn't he? You should get some of his catmint as repayment."
"Your Clan has a catmint garden?" Sneezy asked with wide eyes. "Could I, err, visit?"
Sunfire gave him a long, curious look, before jumping on top of the chair piled with pillows, the same they'd named their 'Hollow Ash'.
"Our enemies are gathering at the edge of our territory, in the poppy fields," Sunfire mewed. "HillClan, MireClan, and the LeafClan rebels. We might be outnumbered three to one, unless we get help. Help from the lodge."
The rogues blinked their eyes, perking their ears, shadows in dark corners exchanging curious glances. Goosebelly kept himself from laughing, but Sunfire's expression didn't betray a hint of humor.
"Help, like in a… battle? Fighting wildcats?" Sneezy asked vacantly, blinking. At Sunfire's solemn nod, some cats scoffed, some murmured to themselves, some laughed out loud, thinking they were in on one of the usual jokes.
Despite the absurdity of it all, one glance told Goosebelly that Sunfire was definitely not joking. What's more, he was desperate. He supposed they were all desperate, in LeafClan. To varying degrees. He was desperate for that other rat; Miss Mittens had returned from the other room, but without procuring him one.
"What's in it for us?" Petey asked with a shiver, clearly not forgetting his last near-brush with trained LeafClan warriors.
Sunfire glanced around at the lodge before answering, "For the stories. For the adventure. For the fun of it all. Because you get to be a warrior, even for just one day. Because… I'll give you a true warrior name, if you follow me."
"A true one?" Miss Mittens mewed, eyes wide.
"It best not be Lumphead," Petey grumbled.
Goosebelly looked around as the motley group of rogues and loners stirred to their paws, chattering with excitement now. He had to feel a swell of pride for his once-apprentice; he couldn't have swindled them better himself.
"Our Clan is at the precipice," Sunfire said, and he could've sworn he was almost putting on Rowanstar's flinty voice again. "And soon, either our enemies will feed the flowers, or we will."
Brave words, Goosebelly thought to himself, giving a warrior's howl that the rest of the lodge picked up with naive, artless earnestness, already eager to play their new roles. Brave world.
A battle. But first, another rat. If only they could fight here, instead of all the way out in the poppy fields.
Goosebelly and Sunfire led their patrol, over half a dozen cats trailing behind them. Sneezy, Petey, Socks, Dolly, Fang, Snare, Nimble; even Miss Mittens, and Old Scratch, a drifter with heavy scars across her face. The whole lot of them paused under the shadow of LeafClan's forest, but as Sunfire pressed into the greenery, the rogues fell in behind like ducklings.
"You'll make a fine warrior, won't you, Sneezy?" Goosebelly mewed with a glance over his shoulder. "They'll be telling stories in the elder's den about you." Or in the nursery, about the monster with the big puffy nose. "How are you feeling?"
A sneeze. "Just like Lyin' Pete, from your Clan stories, Goosebelly."
"Lionpelt," Sunfire corrected.
"He's got the warrior spirit, all right," Goosebelly purred, giving Sneezy an encouraging nudge, and earning a warm purr in return. Good stars, they'd eat the poor wastrel alive out there. If he wasn't ashamed of his makeshift war party, he was a plucked kestrel. What would Rowanstar say, he wondered? What would any cat in LeafClan?
This scrawny lot were not warriors, with no more training than what hardship foisted on them; no muscle, no speed, no clue, with hearts in their bellies no bigger than peppercorns. Some were so skinny their ribs were visible beneath their coats, Snare in her collar, Sneezy and his sneezing. He expected at the first sight of a wildcat, LeafClan or not, they might just scatter like insects.
If they got to the poppy fields, likely the enemy would think they'd emptied out the ancestral graves and recruited the walking corpses. No, he wouldn't march them through LeafClan territory, if it was his choice.
Help from the lodge… Eager as they were, it was still like getting help from a rabbit warren.
But Sunfire led them on, nonetheless. The rogues continued to chatter blithely among themselves, even when Sunfire held up his tail in a signal for silence. Not that they would've expected to know what that signal meant.
"Sunfire? Goosebelly?" a familiar voice filtered through the leaves ahead of them, a reddish tabby tom pressing through the greenery. Sorreltail, and behind him an older brown dappled tom, Owlswoop, eyes narrowed. "What's the meaning of this?"
"I told you I'd deliver, Sorreltail," Sunfire mewed to his littermate, presenting the rogues with a flourish of his tail and a lopsided smile. "Still doubt me?"
"Sorreltail, Owlswoop," Goosebelly purred by way of greeting. "I would've thought every warrior would be back in camp, preparing for the battle."
"True, Goosebelly, and it's past time all of us were there," Owlswoop said pointedly, looking the rogues up and down with roaming eyes, seemingly more baffled than anything else. "Rowanstar expects us."
"Never worry about me," Goosebelly assured him. "I'm as vigilant as a hawk over a lost kit."
Sorreltail lashed his tail, claws unsheathed. "But who are all these… rogues?"
"Mine, brother," Sunfire said. "Ours, to fight for LeafClan."
"I've never seen such pitiful rascals…" Sorreltail murmured in disbelief.
"Tut-tut, good enough to toss," Goosebelly mewed, voice lowered so the rogues would not overhear. "They'll fill a pit as well as any Clan-born cat."
"Yes, but, Goosebelly…" Owlswoop started, craning his head. "I think they're too weak and beggarly."
"Well, for their beggarliness, I don't know where they got that. For their weakness, they certainly didn't learn it from me."
Both LeafClan warriors exchanged skeptical glances, but Sunfire held his head high.
"Our enemies are already on their way," Sunfire growled. "I bring a raiding party, with claws and teeth like any Clan-born cat. Unless you think our chances are better without them?"
"How can we trust them?" Sorreltail hissed. "Rogues, Sunfire? How did you get their help? Why would you even bring them over the border?!"
"Don't trust them. Trust me."
Owlswoop grit his teeth and Sorreltail sighed, eyes clenched shut in exasperation, but neither protested. "I hope you're right about this, Sunfire. Rowanstar and our warriors will soon be ready to leave camp. Let's not delay!"
They turned, melting back into the foliage, and Sunfire burst after them, the rogues scrambling over the dirt in loose, ragged formation. Goosebelly trotted at their heels, as far back as he could manage.
Arriving too late would suit him just fine, if it could be helped. If only it could be helped.
