"No, this is just preposterous! …This is appalling!... No, I can't bear to look at it!"

"What, Brain?" Pinky looked up from his jigsaw puzzle, which was actually a newspaper that the Brain had torn in a fit of rage the day before.

"This… this website! Or rather, the creations of some insane humans, who dare to call themselves authors!" the shorter mouse pointed dramatically at the lab computer's screen. Pinky took a glance at it. The screen was white, covered in black lines of text.

"Naarf, no pictures at all!" he joined the Brain in criticizing.

"No, Pinky, that's not the point! It's what they write!"

"Don't read it, then, Brain. Poit!" Pinky exclaimed. "There, I solved your problem! Feel better now?"

"No, Pinky, it's not as easy as that. I can't be at peace knowing that it's there!"

"Then you can try not knowing. Poit! I do this all the time."

"I'm sure you do. But it's not so easy for me, a highly intelligent mouse, to forget such blasphemy!"

"What's in there that makes you so upset, Brain?"

"Read for yourself… Actually, don't! I'll tell you. I- I was browsing a webpage called fanfiction . net … And there I came upon many of those so-called fanfictions… Which are shipping me with you!"

"Zort! Where are they shipping us?"

"No, Pinky, that's not this kind of shipping they do. In fanfiction world, shipping means pairing two characters with each o- Wait a moment, how come you don't know what it means? You spend half your time online, mostly on some weird celebrity fan forums! How don't you know this?"

"Oh, I know this, Brain. But how was I to know you meant this kind of shipping? I wouldn't have guessed it in a million years!"

Brain wiped his face exasperatedly.

"I- never mind that. Anyway, can you see how repugnant this idea is? Me, getting paired with an imbecile- a nincompoop- a halfwit! If I have to be the subject of slash pairing, why can't it at least be with another great mind – like Einstein, or Hawking?"

"But aren't they, you know… Um…"

"Dead? Such trifle things don't stop fanfiction writers, Pinky. They'd just have to put at least one of us in a different time period. But no, they had to pair me – with you!"

"So… you mean… This whole shipping thing is why you're so angry?" Pinky asked.

"Yes. That's the reason. That's impressive reasoning for such a… you, Pinky," Brain deadpanned.

"Poit… So what are you gonna do?"

"I don't know, Pinky. I could hack the website to remove those monstrosities and then do the same on other websites, but the thing about the Internet is that anything that gets put there, even if it's removed, comes back, the more fiercely, the more you want to get rid of this. No, the only thing I can do is prevent people from creating more things like that."

"And how are going to do that, Brain?"

"By not providing those lunatics with any more ship fuel!"

"But Brain… You haven't been selling fuel to anybody anyway! I'd know, because I do all our bookkeeping- ow!" Pinky started massaging his forehead which had just got struck with a pencil.

"This is precisely the sort of thing we won't be doing anymore!"

"You mean, no more getting whacked on the head? Troz!"

"No… Actually, maybe. Although I do this with no warm feelings for you, I sometimes could swear that you enjoy it! So better stop this, too, not to get it mistaken for some kind of sadomasochistic game… But what I meant was, those jokes about you playing the stereotypical housewife to me- this all has to come to a stop!"

"I see, Brain."

"And this, all this! Who lives with a roommate at our age, anyway? No wonder it's giving people ideas. Not to mention us sharing a bed!"

"But we don't have a bed, Brain."

"I mean this," Brain pointed to the sponge they slept on.

"It's completely different from sharing a bed to me," Pinky commented.

"Many things appear to you differently than to any sane person, Pinky. Anyway, this has to change."

"But where are we going to find another sponge at this hour?"

"Never mind that. You can keep the sponge, I'll make do. And it's not only about the bed, no- I'm moving out!"

"But where will you go?" Pinky gasped, "It's so dark and dangerous outside!"

"I'm not going outside of the lab, Pinky. I'll sleep in some box until I build myself a proper house."

"If that's- If that's what'll make you happy…" Pinky said, his eyes already glazed over with tears. Brain, however, didn't pay any heed to his friend's sentiments.

"Yes, if that's what it takes to stop those people from besmirching my name in such a way, then it will make me happy."

"Then best of luck in getting shipped with those smart fellas, I won't get in your way!" Pinky sniffed from behind a pink handkerchief he had just procured.

"Thank you, Pinky," Brain replied. "Well, as you know, I'm not sentimental. It has been… tolerable living with you. Thank you for all the… not infuriating things that you have done. Oh, don't cry, for heaven's sake. We'll still be seeing plenty of each other – I could even venture a guess you're still going to be a great annoyance to me."

"Troz! I can only hope…"

"I'll be right across the room. Now, I have to go and get settled in."

"In what, Brain?"

"We'll see."

"Um, I- won't trouble you, but if you could visit once in a while…"

"I will, Pinky. Does Sunday afternoon work for you?"

"Sure thing, Brain! I'll make cupcakes!"

"Thank you, Pinky; now, I must be off. See you around."

"See you, Brain."


Despite Pinky's words, Brain had expected him to pay him a visit every fifteen minutes or so – just like in that episode in which Pinky got his own place for a while to help him become independent – but he seemed to hold true to what he'd said about not troubling Brain. The latter was content with this state of things and decided to begin the construction of his new house that very evening.

He quickly gathered the materials he needed. A discarded supply box, a few pens and rulers, a set triangle… He quickly erected the basic structure from the box's sides with windows cut out with scissors. The stationery materials served for strengthening and also added some glamor to the building. This gave Brain an idea. Why limit to the necessities, while a house could serve a decorative purpose as well? The future world leader shouldn't live in just a normal cardboard box house!

Thinking thusly, The Brain collected many more items and started placing them on the walls. The most impressive was a metal paperweight. This Brain decided to put on top to serve as a dome. He quickly made some calculations, added a few pencils for reinforcement and applied the final touch to the roof. The lightbulb's gleam reflected off the paperweight beautifully. Brain admired his work for a while, and then went on to arrange the interior.

Yes! No more Pinky to take into consideration and no exercise wheel to take up space. Perfect. If only he had something to put inside the house! Well, he'd have to put that off for a bit. He thought about what else could be added on the outside. Eureka! A flag with his face on it, as is appropriate for the world's dictator. He didn't have one for now, but he could make a mast in preparation. He picked up another pencil and climbed onto the roof.

As he approached the center, where the paperweight dome was placed, he felt the cardboard bend more than it should. I only calculated it to support the dome, he managed to think before falling through the roof.

The fall wasn't so bad, as it had only been a little more than a foot. He breathed a sigh of relief. And then the paperweight which had landed sideways toppled over and fell on his head.


There was light. And blurred contours. Brain's brain was pounding. What had happened? He started going through the hazy memories. He moved out and started building a house. And then it collapsed… Pride goes before fall, the saying proved true… So where was he now?

When he managed to focus his gaze, he noticed bars. Bars, as in a cage. He was home… But it was no longer his home. He'd left their cage to Pinky. And he himself had no home now. A hand movement revealed the familiar sponge's touch. So it was definitely Pinky's place and he was in his bed. But where was Pinky? Brain carefully turned his head just a few degrees so that he could see something apart from the ceiling. To his surprise, Pinky was lying asleep on the floor, with no pillow and with his "jigsaw" newspaper pieces for a blanket.

"Pinky!" Brain managed to call out softly. His friend awoke promptly.

"Oh, Brain, you're awake, thank goodness!" He exclaimed, overjoyed. "You had me so worried! Do you need anything? Does your head hurt? How are you feeling?"

"I've been worse, but what about you? Why are you sleeping on the floor?"

"Oh, Brain, you said yourself that you don't want to give shippers any more fuel, zort! So I am keeping a distance. I'll do anything to make you happy, poit!"

At that moment, Brain remembered and realized.

"Pinky, I- I've been so insensitive to you. I just left you like that and- and before I said so many hurtful things. I'm sorry for saying you're an imbecile, and halfwit, and so on…"

"Oh, these weren't hurtful at all!" Pinky interrupted him. "I know I'm a imbumbul-something! Troz!"

"Really, you don't mind all that I said?"

"Actually, if I have to say- there was one thing that was kinda- hurtful. Poit!" – he said softly, barely above a whisper.

"What was it?"

"The thing… That you were so mad that they shipped me with you. You said you'd be fine with those Frankenstein and Falconing guys-"

"Einstein and Hawking," The Brain corrected out of habit.

"Yes, and you were so repugnant'd by me! It made me sad, Brain, because you're my best friend."

"Wait a minute, Pinky, it's not that you actually… would like this "shipping" to be true? Please tell me it's not, otherwise our relationship would get really awkward…"

"Gee, Brain, you have the funniest ideas sometimes. No, sorry, I'm amousexual."

"You're- what?"

"Oh, it seems to me it's high time we had the talk. You see, when two animals-"

"I don't need you to give me the talk! I just asked what that word was!"

"Amousexual means that I only date other species. I can only be friends with mice. Narf!"

"That- explains a lot. I won't bother asking how you know this word. Anyway, I'm really sorry for hurting you. I was so self-absorbed, I forgot to take into consideration the feelings of anyone else while I should've. Especially – those of my best friend."

"Naaarf!" Pinky's eyes filled with tears again, but this time, they were happy tears. "You're my best friend, too, Brain!"

"I know, you just said it a moment ago. And I think it was a dumb idea to move out just to prove a point. If you'll accept me, Pinky, I'd- I'd like to move in with you again."

"Brilliant, Brain! Yes, I accept! Oh, I'm so happy! When are you moving in?"

"Well, seeing that I'm already here – how about now?"

"Oh, great! We need to have a party!" Pinky exclaimed and started running around the cage excitedly.

"Pinky, I'm glad you're happy, but could you stop jumping around? My head still hurts."

"Oh, right, sorry, Brain."

"By the way, I haven't thanked you yet for taking care of me when I was unconscious. Did you get me out of there by yourself?"

"Yes! When I heard that ruckus, I ran there straight away! I couldn't keep my distance when my friend was in danger!"

"I'm grateful for that."

"You're welcome."

"So how about you come back to bed instead of sleeping on the floor?"

"Narf, Brain, I'd love to, but what about the ship slashers?"

"I don't care about them anymore. Even if I become the subject of yet another crazy slash fic because of that – I'll only be grateful to be shipped with you, my best friend, and not anyone else in the world!"

"Yay!" Pinky shouted and jumped onto the sponge. The movement caused Brain's head to explode with a new pang of pain, but he didn't say anything, glad that things between him and Pinky were all right again.

"By the way, Brain, I know what you were looking for on that fanfiction site," Pinky said.

"You do?" Brain gasped, feeling his cheeks go red.

"Yes, I used the computer after you were gone and saw it… I had to do a lot of digging, but I finally found it! I saved the page for you, you can read the fanfiction about you and Billie when you're up, or I can print it for you to read when you're strong enough."

"Thank you, Pinky. You're the best friend in the world."

THE END