Chapter Nine
My Reason For Joining SOLDIER
WARNING: This chapter does contain mature themes and graphic references to sexual assault. Reader discretion is advised.
A/N: This was a huge change compared to the original story. Despite the type of chapter this is, I did my absolute best to make it seem as realistic as possible. Please let me know if there's any way I could change this to be better.
Also, please see the end note regarding the title change.
Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII does not belong to me. I own Alia, any other OCs, and this fanfiction. I hold no copyright over direct quotes from FFVII, FFVII: Remake, or FFVII Advent Children.
~ oOo ~
"…I was raped."
Silence fell upon the apartment. Reno inhaled deeply and then exhaled, trying to prevent himself from releasing a shaky breath. But it was no use. He found his eyes peering into Alia's but quickly glanced away. Her words were set on repeat inside his mind. She had stated them so quietly that he was afraid he had misheard what she said, but no. He heard her correctly.
Staring down at his hands, he noticed they were shaking.
I was raped.
I was raped.
Again and again, those three words would not let Reno's mind be at peace. Reno couldn't comprehend what Alia had said. No way had that happened to her. Please…please, for the love of Gaia, I don't want that to be her darkest secret.
"Aliana." Turning his head in her direction, Reno grasped her hand tightly, pulling it closer to him. "Please…tell me what you're saying isn't true."
She avoided his loving gaze. Casting her side away, she brought a hand to her mouth, trying to keep her unsteady breath inside. At first, she shook her head, then said, "I-I wish it were all a lie, but it's the truth: I was raped…" She could feel her mouth quiver. "I was raped!"
Reno pulled the woman into his arms.
Keeping her tight within his grasp, Reno didn't let go. He wrapped his arms around her, caging the woman in his protective embrace. Sensing the love from this man, Alia allowed her defenses to fall. With a choked sob, she fell into Reno's chest, heaving heavy breaths as she dropped her head into the crook of his shoulder and bawled. Sitting there, Reno did nothing. He said nothing. All he could do was rub his hands up and down Alia's back, sheltering her tears with his body.
Reno had seen Alia cry in the three years since Sephiroth's defeat. He'd seen her bawl, he'd seen her breakdown, and he'd even seen moments where she cried so hard the woman was unable to breathe. But this?
Oh, this was worse than anything the redhead had seen.
Just watching Alia cling to his shirt and how she cried…brought tears to Reno's eyes. She screamed into the night, releasing the built-up tension she'd had for the last eight years. All the tears she hadn't released since she had first left Nibelheim were escaping. Just admitting what happened was enough for her to relive that night again. Since the incident, she hadn't even shared the events with Cloud, describing to her brother in just enough detail for him to understand the seriousness of the situation.
But it wasn't just about what had happened. It was the loss of innocence Alia experienced. She was forced to grow into something she didn't expect from such a young age. In her mind, she had become a coward.
"…I-I'm broken," she whispered in a deadly voice.
Kissing the top of her head, Reno could only sit and hold her tight. He remembered the other night when she spoke the same words. The man did not discern what she was talking about, but now…now it seemed to make sense. Reno could not understand why Alia would think of herself in such a way. Squeezing the woman protectively, the redhead quietly muttered, "Don't think of yourself in such a way, Alia."
Sheltering herself further into the man's body, Alia was trying to hide. "But…I am. I am broken!"
"No, you are not," the man said gently, too gently. Releasing his arms from around her frame, Reno cupped the woman's face, holding her preciously in his strong hands. Stroking her cheek, he cleared her face of any lingering tears. "This…what happened to you does not make you broken." Alia's heart was split in two by merely staring upward at the man. She desperately wanted to believe this man, and yet…the torment of the last eight years since her attack was ever at the forefront of her mind. She could go days, sometimes weeks, and rarely months without thinking of what happened. However, there were times when she would blank and return to that night in the Shinra Mansion.
Her eyes would dull, and she would be transported back to the night when it all happened: the dilapidated mansion, the ever-dusty furniture, and the silence of the atmosphere. The tell-tale sign of wearing age escalated through her senses as if she could smell the tension the mansion still held in its aging grasp, the staleness of the air, and its dirty, glossed-over windows. Even the creak of the stairs was prominent in her mind. Forever would that night live in her mind.
Despite the torture, her ability to even think of Zane had dwindled in the last few years.
And it was all because of her relationship with Reno.
Her redhead gradually made the nightmares go away. There were days when she would remember, but they happened once in a blue moon, maybe several months between each remembrance. Her mind would blank and return to that painful night. The process of remembering all the details coursed through her mind, and yet, the moment she lost herself in the memories, her mind derailed; Reno was there. He consistently brought her out of the darkness and into the light. He had no idea the power he had over her ability to remain sane when the memories reappeared.
"I want…I want to tell you what happened."
Eyebrows shot forward as the redhead wasn't expecting the woman to say those words. Eyes bore into hers, and the man couldn't tell the woman no. Deep down, he wanted to know everything she experienced. The pain that coursed through her veins, he wanted to feel. The sadness she felt, he wanted to cry. Swallowing thickly, Reno was careful with his following words. "Are…you sure? Alia, I don't want to push you, and if this is too much…"
Her head shook quickly. "No," she whispered, peering upward into his majestic blue eyes. "I've been hiding this for so long, but…"
"Does…does Cloud know?"
She was quick to nod. "Yes…he's the only person who knows. W-Well, except now you." Lifting her hand, she gently traced the contour of Reno's face, gradually sliding her fingertip down the length of his chin. "I've never had to hide anything from you, Reno. But this…this has scared me in a way I never thought was possible."
"If it's just gonna make you relive the moment, then I don't want - "
Her finger was upon his lips before he could finish. "Please. This is something I want to do. This is something I have to do."
Contemplating her words, Reno nodded. If this were the solace she needed, the redhead would grant it to her. "I will patiently listen to whatever it is you wish to tell me."
The small smile she shared at his words betrayed what her eyes were saying. "Would it be okay if we sat on the bed?"
"Would that make it more comfortable?"
"I-I think so."
"Then…can I carry you?" When Reno received her nod of approval, the man lifted the woman beneath her legs, cradling her close to his chest as he moved from the living room up the stairs to his room. Once inside, Reno placed Alia on the bed as she stared forward. Glancing at her feet, the man knew what she wanted. "Would you like to change into something comfortable?" Though she sought his eyes, Alia diverted her stare just as quickly, but she nodded all the same. "I'll go grab you some water."
Stepping out of the room, Reno retracted his steps and went to the kitchen. Before doing so, he grabbed the disregarded beer on the table and hastily drank the remaining contents. Wiping his mouth the moment the liquid was gone, Reno heaved a sigh. Walking into the kitchen, the redhead threw the empty bottle into the glass recycle bin before opening the fridge, where he grabbed two water bottles. Leaning against the counter, Reno dragged a hand along his face, nails gently biting his skin.
His mind was running amuck while staying silent simultaneously. He believed Alia when she said she had been raped. There was no way in hell she would lie like that. No. He had seen her reaction after admitting the truth. Whatever she had experienced all those years ago, the pain still lingered.
Thinking of their time together, Reno could see some of the dots connecting.
From the very beginning, Alia had been a confident individual. She radiated conviction. The woman was spunky and hilarious, and damn adorable. She never exuded the notion that something traumatic had happened to her. Thinking back, she was accustomed to hugs and initiated them with Reno at the start of their relationship. But when he thought back on the beginning, he remembered that she was apprehensive about kissing and extensive touching. It took several weeks before Reno could kiss Alia; even then, it was sparse until she was the one who initiated a peck against his lips. It was then their relationship started to change. Alia was more open about kissing, holding hands, and being physically close to Reno.
The signs had been there initially, but Reno had no idea there was a foreboding reason behind her actions. Thinking back to their conversation the other night, the redhead had to sigh once more. Alia had tried to tell him then, but something held her back from explaining the entire truth.
It all makes sense now, he thought.
Maybe there had been a part of her that was avoiding sex because of his history when Midgar was still alive. Instead, she was probably cowering in fear because the concept had been thrust upon her in the most heinous way possible.
I'm scared.
What if I'm not good enough?
He remembered her words from the other night. She stated she was scared, and I could see why, but now? Now, it is different because I know the truth. Alia's potentially frightened because she's never had the opportunity to want something as sex for herself. It was taken from her.
Groaning, Reno didn't know what to do. Instead of thinking about it, he grabbed the water and slowly returned upstairs. Knocking on his bedroom door, he could hear Alia say, "I'm ok," before he entered.
Alia had changed into a loose T-shirt and baggy shorts. She was sitting on her side of the bed with her back against the wall, biting her fingernail. Seeing Reno walk through the door, she lifted her lips slightly, though it didn't stay long. Handing her the water, he entered the walk-in closet and quickly changed. Neatly folding his suit, Reno grabbed his flannel bottoms and a random shirt. When he was decent, the man made his way around to his side of the bed and joined Alia, matching her position with his back against the headboard.
Not wanting to keep the silence going, Reno grasped her spare hand and asked, "How…do you want to do this?"
Tilting her head, she offered, "I'm…not too sure. I think…I should start from the beginning?"
"Do whatever you feel is right. I'll be here listening to everything you are willing to share with me." Nodding at his statement, Alia gripped his hand tighter as she curled her legs into her chest.
"Well…you know I was born and raised in Nibelheim, right?" He nodded. "There were other kids in town, but Cloud and I mostly stuck to ourselves. We were all friends, but sometimes, being around the other kids was hard. The day Cloud and I turned ten was when everything changed. A new family moved into the house next door: a husband, a wife, and their son. I will never forget that birthday because it was the day I met my first best friend."
That had Reno tilting his head. "I thought your brother was your best friend?"
"Well, Cloud, I mean, yes…he's my best friend, but him being my sibling doesn't count." Shaking her head, she continued. "I remember watching the three move into their new house from my bedroom window. Their son's room was across from mine, and he caught me staring. I remembered him waving with a bright smile on his face. We didn't officially meet until the next day. That was when I learned his name was Zane, and he was two years older than me."
She fiddled with a loose string on the comforter. "We instantly became attached at the hip and always hung out with each other. If it wasn't at school, it was at his house or mine. The two of us just clicked. But…what I didn't understand then was why he was so distant from the other kids, especially my brother. Zane and I clicked while he and Cloud instantly hated each other. They couldn't even be in the same room; it was that bad." Swallowing, she stole a glance at Reno. He had swiveled his body slightly so that he was angled more to face her directly. "It took a few years, but…I had fallen in love with my best friend." She quickly saw Reno's mouth drop slightly. Waving her hand, she added, "It's not what you think. When I look back on those years…I don't think I actually loved him. I think…I think I was in love with the idea of him loving me."
She fell silent, eyes cast across the room. Nibelheim appeared before her eyes. She saw herself and Zane running around the water tower, their hikes across the mountains, and even their occasional journeys away from the town. Blinking, everything turned black before the images disappeared, and she was back in Reno's room.
"…Alia?"
Reno gently took hold of her arm, causing Alia to jump slightly. Releasing a heavy breath, the woman shook her head. "I-I'm alright." Rubbing at her temple, she continued with her tale. "When I think back, I remember Zane had changed over the years. He was always protective of me, but…in the last year or so, he…how can I explain it? He just…took his protectiveness too far. He shunned me away from the other kids and made sure I was the only friend he had. Zane even tried to limit the time I spent with Cloud, which we fought about a lot."
"Wait." Reno held up a hand. "…sorry, I'm just trying to understand…that's what you call protective?" Disbelief coursed through his veins at the thought that that's what she dealt with while growing up.
Alia swiped at her eyes, a sudden onslaught of tears quickly approaching. "Now that I can look back on it, I know it was something worse. But back then…I appreciated how he looked after me. It was…something I craved, and he gave it all to me."
He was scared to ask, but before he realized what he was saying, Reno questioned, "So…I mean, what…happened?"
She peered at the man through the corner of her eyes. "It was around when Cloud and I turned fourteen when he mentioned that he would leave for Midgar to become SOLDIER. I grew upset at the thought that my brother would leave me behind. Cloud stated that I should join him, but…I didn't want to leave Zane; he was my best friend, but he…" Lifting her head to the ceiling, she allowed the tears to fall. "He took everything from me."
He didn't want to hear what came next.
"Cloud was to leave early spring two years after stating he wanted to leave, just a few months before we turned sixteen. I remember…wanting nothing to do with my brother at the time because I was so upset that he was going to leave me behind. So, instead, I spent all my time with Zane. Cloud hated him, and, in turn, our mother grew to dislike him, which limited the amount of time we spent together. But…there was one night…Several weeks before Cloud was to leave, everything changed…"
"Alia…" Swallowing, Reno rubbed the back of her hand with a thumb, wanting to provide as much comfort as possible. He didn't want to hear her words and could only imagine how Alia didn't want to state them aloud. "Please, don't push yourself."
She softly smiled. Scooting closer, she leaned into Reno, seeking his warmth. "Because Cloud and mom distrusted Zane, we started sending secret messages through our windows. One night, he asked me to meet him at the water tower when everyone was asleep. I thought he just wanted to spend another night together, but…I was clearly wrong," she sneered. Peering upward, she spoke softly. "I…it was dark outside…"
~ oOo ~
It was dark outside, the stars blinding from the heavens above. Alia sat nestled close to the water tower in the town center, legs dangling off the edge as she lovingly stared upward at the sky. Here, she could see every star, every constellation, every shooting star that could be seen for miles. Smiling, she heard a creak behind her, only to find Zane having used the stairs to join her. Sitting by her side, he grasped her hand, tightly curling his fingers around hers. Blushing, Alia cast her head away, loving the warmth of his hand around hers.
They stayed in that exact position, conversing with one another for what seemed like hours. It was past midnight, and everyone else in the town and inn was already fast asleep. Hell, her mother and brother would be furious if they knew she had snuck out to be with Zane. Her mother was always polite with her friend, though Alia knew otherwise. And her brother, well…Cloud, was not on friendly terms with Zane and quietly disdained the male from a distance.
Out here, they were alone.
Tugging on her hand, Zane wanted Alia's attention, and he'd had it the moment he admitted his crush on her several weeks prior. "Hey, how late are you able to stay out?"
"I'm technically already in trouble, so I don't think it matters. What's up?"
"There's…" Zane cast his head away, a blush creeping on his cheeks as he turned back to face her. "There's something I'd like to show you. Can I…take you now?"
Nodding, she smiled brilliantly, not knowing precisely what his words had meant at the time. "Of course! Where we going?"
"I kinda want it to be a surprise. Can you place this on?"
Staring at the blindfold, Alia shrugged, taking the material in hand as they made their way down the tower. Helping the female, Zane wrapped the dark cloth around her eyes, securing it with a tight knot. Grabbing her hand, he gently tugged her toward the outskirts of town. Alia knew they were leaving the central area of town when she could no longer hear the water tower or the chickens in the distance. If she had to guess, Alia would say they had only been walking for ten minutes when they stopped. A lock and key could be heard, followed by the screeched of metal. Retaking her hand, Zane led Alia deeper down the blackened path she could not see.
Upon opening the door, Alia was led inside something, and the same door closed behind her. Confused, she then asked, "Zane, where are we?"
"Shh, it's just a little more, I promise. Do you trust me?"
"I trust you."
Guiding her with his hand, Zane pulled her further into the mansion, keeping the location a secret. With her hand being held tightly, Alia released a light giggle, trusting Zane with all her might that he would lead her to safety. Since walking through the door, it had been roughly several minutes, and in that time, they had traversed across the room and up a flight of stairs. Alia was sure she would fall, but Zane had been there the moment she was about to, never letting her hand go.
Another door soon opened. Lifting her head, Alia wondered where they were. Her senses were muddled, but her nose detected a distance in the air. Something old lived in the air, something that hadn't been touched in a long time.
Still, she brushed it aside. Zane wanted to be with her at this moment, and she was going to cherish it.
"My lady," Zane suddenly stated. Pulling her hand slightly, he led her through the open door, shutting it softly behind them.
"Can I take this thing off now? It's been at least twenty minutes already!"
He chuckled. "Just give me another moment, ok?" The flick of a match lifted the girl's ears. She cast her head to the side, wondering what that was. She could feel a slight warmth around her; it was soft and gentle. Walking beside her, Zane tilted his head down to her ears. "Are you ready?" She nodded eagerly. Zane gently unwrapped the material from around her face, and once it was lifted, Alia blinked several times, adjusting her eyesight to the change. But when her vision was normal again, she gasped.
She knew the room instantly, recognizing that they were inside the old Shinra mansion. However, someone had taken great care to clean this specific room. The bed looked cleaner, as if it had fresh sheets, and several candles were lit across the room, casting a warm glow over it.
"Oh, Zane! This looks wonderful!"
He smiled, but when Alia turned her head, she missed the slight turn his lips gave. She stepped forward to admire everything surrounding her, in awe that this was possibly meant for her. Turning back, she found Zane was watching her. "What's this all about?" She asked.
Stepping toward her, Zane cradled her cheek, slightly rubbing his thumb across her cheek. "I just wanted to do something special for you."
"Zane…you didn't have to do anything for me." She smiled brightly.
"Yes, yes I did." His head cradled the back of her head, gripping slightly tighter than she expected. "I wanted to do this for you so you could become mine."
Her eyes widened at that, though she still smiled. "Become yours? I don't think I understand."
"Don't worry, you will."
Taking hold of her hand, Zane pulled her to the bed, nudging her to sit. Obligingly, she did so, placing her hands in her lap and watching her best friend before her. Since meeting her at the tower, she noted that something seemed off about Zane. He was always a confident person, but tonight, something seemed off.
Curious about why, Alia asked, "Hey, is everything alright?"
"Everything is perfect. Why'd you ask?"
"I just…" She twiddled her thumb. "Something's just off…and I can't place what it is."
"Don't worry. Everything will be perfect, I promise." Sitting beside her, Zane placed a hand over hers, calming the woman's thumbs so she could relax. "Everything's going to be ok."
She tilted her head. "What do you mean by everything?"
He smiled, but something about how his lips lifted sent a slight chill down her spine. "Oh, I think you know what I mean." Taking hold of her cheek once more, Zane brought her face closer to his, rubbing his nose against her temple.
Alia's eyes widened slightly; she had no idea what her friend was doing. "…Zane?"
"Shhh, I'll take good care of you."
"I…don't think I need to be taken care of right now?"
"No, I think you do. And I'm the only one who can do so." The hand on her cheek dropped to her knee before slowly moving up her bare thigh. Since Zane had asked to meet her, Alia had donned a cute spring dress he wanted to see her in.
But how he moved his hand up her thigh made her suddenly regret her fashion decision.
Wiggling out of discomfort, she placed a hand over his, trying to move it off her leg. "Zane, I'm sorry but…I'm not liking this."
His lips dropped to her ear. "What's not to like?"
"I-I just…"
"Shhh, baby girl…" Kissing the shell of her ear, Zane reattached his hand to her thigh, now moving its way beneath the rim of her dress. Alia's body froze, and she was unsure how she should proceed in such a moment. "I promise I'll make you feel good."
What the hell is going on? Her mind kept repeating. I don't like this!
Scooting to the other side of the bed, she tried to distance herself away from her friend. "This…whatever this is…it needs to stop." She peered upward and then wished she hadn't. There was no smile in Zane's eyes. No, he was…
He looked hungry.
"Aliana. Don't you want the same? Don't you want me?"
"I have no idea what you're even talking about?"
"Then let me show you, baby girl."
Scooting closer to her, Zane gripped her chin and brought her lips to meet his. It wasn't soft, not like what she heard it was supposed to be. The boy was rough, and within several seconds of showing his lips against hers, Zane shoved his tongue into her mouth. Squealing, Alia didn't know what to do. Caught off guard, she tried retracting her body away, but Zane had her trapped. One hand locked against the back of her head, keeping her face in place, while the other moved beneath her dress, slowly gliding his fingers against the underside of her underwear.
Frozen, she felt Zane's tongue glide against hers. Her shoulders tensed, and her senses exploded with fear.
This isn't what I want. This isn't what I want!
Palms flat against Zane's chest, Alia thrust hard against him, knocking him back as she jumped from the bed. Standing, she moved away until her back kissed the furthest wall. "Zane, stop this!"
He merely watched from his seat on the bed. Eyebrow raised, Zane slowly stood and stalked his prey. Watching from the distance, he stepped forward. With each step he gave, Alia sidestepped away from him. "I don't think you want to be running away, not just yet. We haven't even started."
"Zane, you're really scaring me."
"I've wanted you for so long, Aliana. Haven't you wanted the same? Haven't you wanted me?"
"N-No! Not like this!" Taking a chance, she ran. Tripping over the old carpet, Alia fell to the floor but stood as quickly as possible, making her way to the door.
A set of arms grasped her shoulders as she was thrust against the door.
"I don't fucking think so, baby girl," Zane whispered menacingly against her ear.
Rotating her arms until they were wrapped behind her back, Zane held her wrists down with one hand, the other making its way, once again, up her thigh. "I've been craving you for so long. And I know you want me to. Those looks you've been giving me? I know you want it just as badly as I want you."
"Zane! Stop this right now!" She wriggled in his grasp, but she had nowhere to go. Maneuvering her leg, she was ready to back-kick the male when his foot caught hers and separated her thighs, keeping them apart so she couldn't move.
The laugh he produced chilled Alia's blood. "You want me to stop?"
"Yes, this isn't like you, Zane! What the hell do you think you're doing?!"
"Heh, taking what I rightfully deserve."
"What you - ?! Agh! No!"
Having reached the underside of her underwear once again, Zane cupped her womanhood tightly before slapping it. Taking hold of her cotton panties, Zane pulled them slightly down her legs before deciding to change tactics. "You're not gonna need these again." Ripping the material from her body, Zane threw it behind him, his hand seeking solace in the apex between her thighs.
Squirming, Alia did everything she could think of, but her body wouldn't move. No matter how much she willed her mind, her limbs were frozen.
"Stop…stop!"
"I don't think you want me to stop, baby girl." Zane kissed her ear again, licking the shell down to her chin. She shivered in disgust; Zane acknowledged it as acceptance for him. "That's what I thought. I've always known you wanted me," he narcissistically stated.
Cupping her womanhood once again, Zane parted her nether lips, seeking solace in the warmth Alia was barely starting to understand. She shivered as Zane prodded more. She continuously whispered, "No," but that didn't stop the male. Sinking his fingers into her depth, Zane found the tiny nub of her clit and began quickly rubbing it for her pleasure.
"Yeah…you like that don'tcha…"
"STOP!" She screamed. Her jaw dropped, and she screamed with as much power as her vocal cords would allow. The sound she produced was frightening as it echoed off the old walls of the mansion. She screamed and hollered, bashed against Zane as she tried to escape. But it was futile.
Dragged by the shoulder away from the wall, Alia was harshly turned around and was thrown against the wall with her back. The moment she was face-to-face with Zane, her head slammed to the side, his palm touching her cheek. The slap was harsh, brutal, and cold. Eyes widened, Alia slowly tilted her head back, staring frighteningly at the towering male.
It was then his masculine hand shot around her throat, his fingers digging into her skin. "I don't think you want to fucking scream around me, baby girl. You understand, don't you?" She stared blankly at the man, refusing to give him an answer. When she didn't provide one, he tightened his grip around her throat. "You just don't get it, do you?"
Teeth gritting together, Alia could mumble, "I…don't know…what you're talking…about!"
Narrowing his eyes at her words, Zane snarled, "You're telling me you don't feel the same? Were my feelings one-sided this whole damn time?!"
"B-But, Zane…I…I liked you!"
"'Liked' me? No, you truly don't seem to understand, you foolish girl. I fucking love you, Aliana Strife! And I will rightfully take what's mine, here and now."
"Wha…You can't - you just can't!"
"Oh…I fucking will."
Still grasping her neck, Zane moved away from the wall and threw her across the room. Falling brutally to her knees, Alia gripped her throat, coughing harshly, nearly choking from the pressure of Zane's fingers. Stalking toward her, Zane took hold of Alia's arm and dragged her upward. Slamming the woman onto the table, he bent her body down until her chest was flat against the wooden surface. Screaming into the table, she flailed around, desiring nothing but to escape this hell hole.
Zane slightly pulled the woman, grasping her hair until her back arched perfectly. "I don't fucking think so. After this, you'll always want nothing but me." Doing as he did before, Zane shoved her feet apart with his, creating a wide enough gap for his fingers to dive straight into her core. Crying out more, Alia shrieked, her voice going raw with each passing second. But the longer Zane stayed silent, the more she knew what was to occur.
Before she could comprehend what was happening, the tears were falling, staining her cheeks with the ever-growing shame deep inside her chest. Alia so desperately wanted this to end, but…it seemed unlikely she would get out of here the way she arrived - unscathed and intact.
Her mouth fell open when she felt Zane's fingers prodded her opening. "No, please, don't do it!"
"Don't be like that. You know you want it; you've been craving my touch, baby girl."
And with that, he jammed his fingers deep inside.
Hollering the loudest she could, Alia's eyes screwed shut, her insides tightening every inch that covered her body. Shrinking into herself, Alia knew this wasn't how it was supposed to feel. The pain was dreadful, unlike anything she had experienced, especially with that specific part of her body.
Alia was familiar with her womanhood, having experimented several times with her fingers what pleasure she could obtain. However, what Zane was currently doing was the opposite of what she was used to, even if it was a limited experience. This…this was not right. But before she could do anything else, her best friend was thrusting his thick fingers in and out of her, stretching her once unexplored area into something she was unaccustomed to.
"Ah, I knew you liked this, baby girl. You're getting so wet for me…ah, and you said you didn't want it, you liar."
No, stop…please, just fucking stop! Alia wanted to scream more, but it fell lost in her throat.
And the longer Zane fingered her, the more Alia could feel the familiar coil in her belly. Eyes widening upon realization, she began to squirm, but Zane's grip on her waist left her with zero wiggle room.
No. No, no, no, no, no! I -I don't want this to be with him!
"You wiggling around like…yeah, just like that, it's real nice, Aliana. Keep doin' that for me, baby girl."
"I don't want this, Zane! Stop! Fucking stop!"
"Just be patient. I'm gonna make you feel so good."
As his fingers moved deep inside, Alia felt the familiar tingle, the same one she had experienced over the last few weeks when she was alone. But this was different. It was mangled, dirty, and wrong, and at levels she could not comprehend. Refusing to accept what was happening, Alia roared into the decrepit room. Twisting her body with all her might, Alia turned around just enough to sock her hardened fist into Zane's jaw. Staggering backward, the male dropped his grip on Alia, allowing her to dash away toward the door.
"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Running after her, Zane grasped Alia by her hair, causing her to screech as she was dragged into his chest. Pulling her once more across the room, he threw her onto the bed, watching as she flailed on the mattress. "I've fucking had it, Aliana."
Refusing to give in, Alia pushed with all her might, bounding toward the door, but she could only place her feet against the floor when Zane's fist collided against her cheek, just as she had done him. Peering upward through her peripherals, Alia watched in horror as Zane slowly unzipped his pants, dragging them down slightly until he was able to grasp himself outside of his boxers.
"I'm fucking done playing around, Aliana. If that's the game you want to play, then so be it."
Cradling her bruised cheek, she cried, "Zane, stop this! What do you think you're doing?!"
The male grinned evilly as she laughed in her direction, mocking the female for not understanding his light. "Taking what's rightfully mine: you."
"I don't belong to you! I don't want any of this!"
His fist landed against her cheek again, and he watched as she fell to her side, almost laughing at the sight. "Why do you have to be such a bitch?!"
Taking hold of her hips, Zane turned Alia over, not wasting one second. At the moment, he neither cared nor desired her pleasure. All that mattered was claiming what he solely wanted, what he had wanted for years. Lifting her hips until she was right where he wanted her to be, Zane lifted the edge of her dress until it flowed over her backside. Fondling the tautness of her asscheek, Zane smiled.
Peering behind her as best she could, Alia watched as he best friend turned attacker was about to claim the prize he wanted. She had fought; she tried running and wanted nothing but to flee. In the darkness of the abandoned Shinra mansion, she was about to be claimed in the most wicked way possible. Knowing there was no escape, Alia fell limp and accepted her fate. There was no way she would escape the clutches of her best friend. Dropping her head against the clean sheets that smelled like flowers, Alia succumbed to her fate. Her body relaxed terrifyingly. Slacked, Alia gave in.
"That's it, take it like the good girl you are."
She had never screamed so loud as she had at that moment. With a vice grip against her hip and the other holding her hair to arch her back, Zane gave Alia no time. Surging his hips forward, the male shoved his hardened erection inside without proper preparation first. The waterworks fell as Alia's insides scrambled. There was a burning, stretching, throbbing, penetrating ache throughout her lower region. Without waiting for her to adjust to his size, Zane reeled backward before promptly thrusting back inside.
The tears continuously fell, flooding her eyes as if preventing the female from seeing what was happening. Her scalp bore an additional pain as her friend forcefully twisted her hair in his fist, arching her back to meet his every thrust.
Alia refused to call out to him, refusing to give him the satisfaction where he believed that she wanted him.
But still, in her moment of silence, Zane roared. His hips slammed into hers, bruising every inch of her body with each touch he placed upon her. Where she once screamed, he now howled. The obscenities flying from his mouth came through with each movement. When he grew bored, Zane shoved her face into the mattress until she could barely breathe. The male didn't give a damn. He had sought after one thing from Alia, and he was finally earning the prize he had always wanted.
Her eyes squeezed shut so forcefully that Alia feared she would break her eyelids. Zane's hips thrashed wildly into hers as if he was driving a rebar pole into her insides. A thick, boiling rebar melted her lower body until it was nothing but a puddle of what it used to be. Everything that once was was now ruined; never would it be the same.
"Fucking shit, Aliana!" Zane hollered. Grasping her wrists, he pinned her arms behind her back brutally until she was squirming from a different pain. One hand gripped her wrists while the other forced her head to stay against the mattress.
No matter how she moved, pain radiated off her body. She felt it trickle down her skin, slithering from her insides. Gasps were forced past her lips as she struggled to breathe. Alia fought the urge to cry out, but one particular stab against her insides left the woman slack-jawed as it nearly tore her asunder. The all-consuming pain had transpired into something unfathomable. The irritation, frustration, agony, sickness, and torment left the female blank.
The crying hadn't subsided. If anything, it had become her only comfort, the only sense of self-control left at the moment. She could manifest more tears or completely stop because that was her choice.
But this? No, this wasn't a choice of hers. Aliana Strife wanted nothing from this and did not want to partake in the behavior this man was exuding. Gritting her teeth, Alia reasserted herself in the situation. Inhaling as deeply as she was able, she recounted her failure from earlier when she gave in. No. She would not relinquish the control she contained. Refusing to face defeat, Alia turned her head, and with as much agility as her body allowed, she snatched Zane's hand into her mouth and bit as vigorously as her teeth would allow. Hearing her attacker's screech was a slight cause for celebration.
However, that did not falter the man's intentions.
With the other hand, Zane yanked Alia's hair abruptly, her body arching off the bed until her back was flushed with his chest. Wrenching his hand free from her mouth, Zane cursed as he used the same hand to snatch the breath from her throat, taking hold of it once again. Alia's teeth had chewed through his skin, leaving a small trail of blood across her lips, and as the blood dribbled down his hand, it flowed down her neck in gentle waves.
"Goddamnit, why are you such a bitch?!" The man was relentless with his assault. "You are so utterly perfect, but why must you act this way, huh?! This could've been a wonderful moment for us, but you had to go ahead and ruin it!"
Opening her mouth just enough, Alia was able to utter, "Fuck you…Zane!"
"Excuse me? You've always been such a fucking bitch! But I fucking love everything about you to death!"
His grip on her throat was to the point she couldn't inhale even the tiniest amount of air. Struggling for a decent breath, she spit and sputtered, meaningless words falling from her lips, and she desired nothing more than to breathe.
"Ah, what's this? Does my baby girl want to say something?"
Releasing just the tiniest amount of pressure, Alia was able to suck in just enough breath, her vision spotty as it blackened and returned to normal every few seconds. She wanted to say something, anything, to prove she would never give up, but the words were lost on her tongue. Behind her, she could feel Zane tense.
"Ahhh shit, shit, shit, fucking shit!" Roaring into the empty room, Zane finalized his movements before halting. Alia's eyes widened at the realization.
Unable to glance down, she knew what this meant. She feared as the thought hadn't even crossed her mind. What…what would she do? Why had Zane finished inside her? Why was she to be treated in such a horrific manner?!
Letting the woman go, Zane sighed contently as Alia fell against the mattress. She hacked and coughed, sucking in as much air as possible, attempting to push the last thought away from the forefront of her mind.
Wincing, Alia groaned as Zane released himself from her depths. It was then she could feel his essence. The moment he pulled away, his secretion leaked, dripping down her thighs, ever to be ingrained in the female's head of what happened this night. The moment Zane released her ultimately, Alia hurried away from him. Shoving her body against the wall, she stared at the mattress, slick with his production…and her blood.
"That's right, baby girl. You were so good to me." Stepping forward, Zane made to cup her cheek, but he was never given the chance. Launching herself forward, Alia attacked the man who had taken everything away from her. Taking her fingers, she clawed at the man's face, not once relenting as she tore his flesh. Howling, Zane stepped backward as he held his face. Staring at the man, Alia narrowed her eyes, content and pleased to see the blood drip past his fingertips.
"What - what the hell have you done?! After I was treating you so nicely?!"
It was now or never. Would she cower in fear or protect herself?
Deciding against the first, Alia stood on shaky legs but used whatever strength remained in her thighs. Remembering past lessons with Tifa, Alia secured her footing and thrust her fist into Zane's abdomen just as he reached to take hold of her again. He was never given the chance. The moment her fist collided against his stomach, Zane's eyes curled into the back of his head. His knees gave way, the weight of his body pulling him to the ground as he fell in a heap upon the floor. Breathing heavily through her nose, Alia stood stock still for a moment. Carefully, she nudged her shoe against Zane's shoulder, and when he did not move, she barged out of the room.
Fleeing, Alia made her way through the abandoned mansion, seeking solace in the mountain air of her loving town. Pushing past the still-heavy front doors, Alia nearly fell against the doorframe, her legs weakened and unsteady as she walked. Stealing a glance behind her, she was confident that Zane would be unconscious for a while. Staring upward at the sky, the same sky from over an hour prior, Alia forced a loud sob, one she didn't have to hide - the first of the night. Alia dragged herself to the gate, keeping herself as straight as her body could.
I just have to make it to the gate, and then I…
And then what?
Frozen against the iron, Alia stared blankly before her. How would she get home, and what was she supposed to do now? Without knowing, Alia's knees gave way, her body tumbling to the ground. Curled in a ball against the dirt, she stared upward.
The night sky was crawling with a bountiful number of stars. It had been a beautiful night, but as Alia continued to stare upward, all she could see was a blurred vision. Nothing seemed beautiful in the moment as Alia caved and sobbed. Her body heaved, cried, and screamed until she could do so no more. It was a night she thought she'd remember. And although it was, it was all for a reason she never thought to anticipate.
~ oOo ~
"And…I-I made my way toward the mountains," Alia blubbered as she tried clearing her face of tears. She eventually had to stop her story when the weight of her chest became too much to bear. Then Reno returned with a roll of toilet paper, gently dabbing her cheeks as the woman heaved to and fro. His fingers trailed lovingly across her back, knowing full well that, no matter what he did, he would not be able to relieve the suffering she was reliving.
Hiccuping, she tried her best to continue. "I-I slowly made my way toward the caves inside the mountain. W-When w-we were l-little…Cloud and I stumbled upon a c-cave that we deemed as ours…We u-used to go there all the t-time, but…once Zane and I grew to b-be so close, we s-stopped going…It was the o-only place I could feel safe."
Biting his lips, Reno could not give in. Hearing Alia relive this moment in her life tore the man to pieces. He tried and failed to hold in his sadness, the tears dripping now and then down his cheeks. When her last sentence left her lips, Reno grasped the woman underneath her legs and hauled her into his lap, where he protectively wrapped his arms around her. Curling against him, just like before, Alia continued to cry. There was nothing else for her to do except cry. Other than the initial moment it happened, and after relaying everything to Cloud, Alia hadn't honestly reacted to what happened eight years prior. The woman kept the incident under lock and key inside her mind and heart, refusing entry to whoever she spoke to. Besides Cloud, no one would ever know what had happened to her.
Except for tonight, where she lay bare to Reno as she explained everything that had happened that night.
Holding her as tightly as she deserved, Reno leaned his head against hers, wishing, wanting, hoping that he could melt her pain away. He'd seen the woman hurt and had held her when she cried. But not like this. This was torture. But he would endure. Reno would walk to hell and back if it meant protecting Alia from anything this world threw at her. Forever would he strive to ensure her safety; forever would he love everything about her.
In his eyes, she wasn't broken - she was beautifully perfect.
"I-I…" Alia began again. Tilting his head down, he was surprised to see her glancing up. "I barely remember what happened after that."
Cupping her cheek, Reno brought their foreheads together. "Shhh…you don't have to tell me anything else."
Her head quickly nodded. "Yes, yes, I do. I w-want you to know everything." Nuzzling into his neck, Alia breathed in the comforting scent of her lover. "The first…thing I remember was being woken up by Cloud. Somehow, I-I had managed to climb from the Shinra mansion to our mountain cave. According to him, Cloud woke in the middle of the night to find that I wasn't home, so he searched around town." She sniffled. "When he couldn't find me, he searched the mountains. I'll…never forget his face." At the mention of her brother, Alia's face fell. "I remember crying so much I lost my voice. That was the first and last time Cloud and I talked about what happened."
"You haven't mentioned it once in these last eight years?"
"No. There have been times when the conversations come up, but I refused to speak about it in detail again…until now."
Reno gently ran his fingers through her hair. "Wait…you said Cloud and Zane didn't like each other. What did your brother do when he found out…?"
"Cloud said he was going to kill him." Since beginning her tale, Alia released a soft chuckle, though it quickly subsided. "But, even after what he did to me…I didn't want anything to happen to Zane."
Heaving a sigh, Reno said quietly, "You didn't want him to face any consequences for what he did?"
She shook her head again. "After Cloud found me, he snuck me back into the house, where I stayed in our room for several days, lying to our mom that I was sick. In all truthfulness, I was running away. I didn't…didn't want to risk running into Zane without Cloud by my side."
"…did you ever tell your mother?"
"No," she was quick with her answer. "My mom worked hard to provide for Cloud and me since our dad passed away. I didn't…want that burden on my mom's shoulders." Curling further into Reno's side, she rubbed her fingers against his until they laced together. "…it's why I joined to be a SOLDIER," she whispered.
Eyes narrowed in confusion, Reno asked, "What're you talking about?"
"I never planned to enlist; I never wanted to. That wasn't my dream; it was Cloud's. But…in the days after what happened, I wanted nothing more than to leave Nibelheim…" She squeezed her eyes shut and whispered, "So I ran away." Whimpering, she tightened her fingers. "…it was Cloud's idea, you know."
"Is that right?"
"Yeah…I was packing my things to leave in the middle of the night. No money, no vision for the future…I just wanted to get the hell out of there. When Cloud learned what I planned to do, he stopped me and suggested I leave with him. The rest…I guess is history. I suddenly enlisted and left with Cloud three weeks later, headed for Midgar. I never looked back."
"Damn, they didn't usually take late enlistments like that."
"Heh, Cloud was extremely persuasive to our enlistment officer." A short lifting of her lips appeared, then left just as fast. "It took some convincing, but we were able to be placed on the same squad together. We were nigh inseparable throughout training and the year before Hojo captured us."
"Son of a bitch…" Reno cursed, fiddling with his nose. "You…fucking shit, Alia…I can't understand how you…managed everything the way you have."
All she did was shrug. "It's...not something I can speak about so easily. Honestly? Speaking about Zane hurts worse than what Hojo ever did to me…and Hojo was ruthless with his experiments."
Holding the woman tighter against his chest, Reno whispered, "You are so fucking brave, Alia."
Eyes cast aside, Alia was struck with a sudden thought from earlier. Turning her head away, she mumbled, "I'll never forget the look on my mom's face when I left. She seemed so proud…and so sad. If she was angry that I decided to leave, she never showed it on her face, but I knew."
"You know your mom loved you, Alia."
"I know," she said sadly.
Reno gave Alia a moment of silence before asking his next question. "Um…so, Zane never faced the consequences for…what he did to you?"
She sniffled several times. "Like I said, no one else knew what he did to me. And because I told no one, he walked away free. Besides my brother knowing, this was a secret I was bound and determined to take to my grave."
The redhead's eyes widened at her statement. "Then…why me?"
"Because you're special," was her instant reply. "Reno, I love you, and I want to be able to tell you everything about myself. I have divulged so many secrets these last three years, but this… has kept me from pushing our relationship further. And I…" Releasing his hand, Alia brought her fingers to cup his cheek. "I want that next step with you."
Grasping her fingers on his cheek, he kissed her palm. "Not now," he replied softly. "I'm not worried about that. I'm more concerned about you."
"I'll be fine."
"No, Alia. You can't just brush this off." Curling her chin in his direction, he lifted her gaze to meet his. "Aliana…you…I'm very sorry about everything that has happened to you, but you can't just overlook the fact that you were assaulted."
She cast her eyes away from Reno's, almost like she wanted to run away.
No, Alia thought. I cannot run away from this. I spent eight years running away from Zane…and from my past. But here and now, I can start anew. Returning her gaze to Reno, she lifted her head and dropped a gentle kiss against his chin. Reno spoke before she could state anything as he tightened his arms evermore.
"Aliana…thank you."
"Huh?" She peered incredulously at the redhead.
He returned her kiss by dropping one against her cheek. "You have trusted me enough to share this turmoil from your past. I am forever grateful you have enough faith in me to have spoken on the matter."
"Reno…"
"Alia," Reno choked her name. "I am so unbelievably sorry this has happened to you."
The water drops soon fell against her cheek. Pulling away slightly from the man's chest, Alia's eyes widened at the sight before her. Reno, who had very rarely shed any tears, was silently crying. Reaching her hand forward, Alia erased the drops from his beautiful skin, her tears suddenly escalating once more as they trailed down her cheek.
"Reno…please don't cry for me."
He kissed her head. "I can't help it. Just…thinking that you suffered through something so terrible kills me on the inside." He kissed her head again. "I will say this…if we ever meet Zane in the future, I will kill the bastard."
Expecting a different reaction, Reno was surprised when Alia chuckled at his declaration. "You and me both," she offered. Falling silent, Alia took this moment to reflect on the last hour.
Throughout the last two years of being with Reno, Alia never thought she would divulge and express her darkest secret, honestly believing she would take it to the grave, as she described to Reno. She felt the intent to express her assault would be difficult to share. And yet, the more she spoke on the manner, the easier it grew. Reno was patient and an avid listener, allowing her to take her time and talk at her own pace. By the end of her tale, her body felt lighter.
Her heart swelled. This man was special, and she was fortunate to have him by her. She would never find another like Reno; only one of him was available, and he chose her out of all the women on planet Gaia.
"Reno, I should be thankful. You have been so patient, loving, and kind, and you… allowed me to share this with you."
It was then he smiled. Cupping her face, Reno nuzzled his nose against her cheek, loving the slight squeal Alia released. "Alia, I swear…I will do whatever I can to ensure you always feel safe with me."
Eyes suddenly widening, Alia soaked in Reno's words. Breathlessly, she stated, "Reno…I've always felt safe with you, even when you found me in the slums in that pile of metal."
It was his turn for his eyes to widen. "Even way back then? When we were technically enemies?"
"Mhm," she nodded. "I've felt safer with you these past two years than in all the years I was friends with Zane. You would…" Her voice faltered, not quite sure what she should say. "You would never do to me what he did."
"I'd rather die than hurt you in such a way," Reno stated firmly but then fell silent.
There was so much more to the conversation they could speak about, but Reno knew it was taxing against Alia. Instead of speaking further on the matter, Reno grabbed the edge of the comforter and covered the two of them in its warm confines. Alia said nothing, merely watching as her redhead moved them down the mattress until they lay flat on their backs. Holding her in his arms, Reno pressed soft kisses against her temple.
"I say…we put this conversation aside and take a nap."
"A nap?" Alia's cheek was covered in an adorable blush before chuckling delicately. However, the moment her mind began to relinquish the distress from earlier, it appeared right in the forefront of her mind. "But, Reno…"
He placed a finger against her lips, politely silencing her. "I will never be able to take away the suffering you feel in your heart. My only wish is that I can at least provide a sense of peace, even if it might be short-lived sometimes." He then placed a hand over her heart for emphasis. "I don't expect you to give me every detail about your past. As I said, I am just fortunate that you trust me enough with even a basic explanation. But for now, you deserve to rest. It has been an exhausting day, and I can see how your eyes droop." It was then a yawn escaped past her lips. "Told you," he said smugly.
Caving almost instantly, Alia curled into the blanket, allowing its warmth to sink into her weary bones. Reno was right in that it had been a long day, with everything that happened with Cloud and the conversation she had just held with Reno. It was almost instantaneous, but her demeanor changed completely within a few minutes. Now, she was ready for that nap, nearly falling asleep in Reno's arms. Before she did so, she called out to him.
"Hey, Reno?"
"Yeah, peaches?"
"Thank you for everything, it…I am forever grateful. I love you."
He smiled at her words, holding the woman tightly. "I love you too, Alia. As long as you stay mine, I will forever remain yours."
~ oOo ~
This was excruciatingly hard to write. I apologize to anyone who has experienced anything of the sort.
Title Change: I felt this story needed a shorter title. I had something planned regarding the original that no longer applies, so…a new title it is!
DragonGoddess629 :)
