Chapter 1

The Spa Resort was one of the many extravagant places within Nazarick. And it had become one of the last two Supreme Beings' favourites.

It had a total of eighteen baths with nine types for the two genders. The changing rooms were all located in a separate area prior to their entry to the pools. The spa was made up of twelve zones in total: a large jungle bath inspired by the Amazon rainforest, obviously made by the eco-maniac Bellriver; a Roman Thermal pool; a yuzu bath, a carbonated bath; a huge jacuzzi, an electric bath with a low current that electrified the body; a cold bath with charcoals floating on it; a Cherenkov pool; an open-air bath with an artificial scenery; a sauna; a bedrock bath; and the lounge.

The so-called Guardian of the Spa was a custom made lion golem created by Luci*Fer, so Ainz was sure that thing would someday be triggered and make a mess. But that did not stop him from enjoying the Spa Resort. Originally it was just a decoration added by the Supreme Beings, but after the Great Tomb's transfer to the New World, Ainz and Oshikuru were glad to find out that the facilities in the spa had become functional.

In the spa resort, there was only one silhouette in a large marble bathtub which could fit many people at once. Some blue liquid started falling one along the contour of smooth white bones. But when it reached the feet of the figure taking a bath, the blue liquid that had been flowing down the skeletal body defied gravity as it somehow started climbing back up.

"Fuaah."

The figure unconsciously made a sudden sound which echoed throughout the bathroom. As if feeling embarrassed from its own voice, a slender arm sprouted out from the blue liquid. With this arm outstretched, the figure rubbed its face. It was an all shiny white skull idolized by many for its handsome appearance.

"Ha…"

The figure let out a big sigh and leaned backwards, but its body did not sink. It was as if the blue liquid slowly lowered and supported the thin figure. Given its movement and elasticity, it was like being embraced by an extremely soft waterbed. The liquid definitely had a will of its own as it squirmed before sprouting several tentacles, each about the width of a couple of fingers. They moved as if hugging the silhouette of the skeletal figure and the many creatures jiggled as if being content at having restrained their prey. It was several Sapphire Slimes, which fed upon all organic matter.

"Aaaahh."

Another moan flowed out. It was louder than before, but there was no effort to suppress the sound this time either. It was as if the skeleton had focused his senses on the slimes that were squirming around its body.

The figure in the bath spoke to itself. "… Ahh. I can't hold it in anymore. This feels too good," Murmured Ainz.

He scooped up a slime and poured it on his head. The slime that had been enthusiastically cleaning the holes around his pelvis seemed to understand what its master wanted to have cleaned next. And Ainz soon felt squirming sensations around the top of his head.

"Huu. This is heaven. Heaven indeed."

Ainz's undead body was comprised entirely of bones.

Because he did not excrete, his body neither got dirty nor did it smell bad by its own. However, that did not mean he did not need to clean himself. Dust and dirt would accumulate on his body and on certain occasions he had been covered in his enemies' blood. It was purely to clean himself. Plus, as a traditional Japanese, he could not bear not to take baths.

"I could only afford saunas back then. I just wanted to submerge myself as soon as I found out I could take a bath…"

Ainz sunk deeper into the slimes while imitating the motion of sighing. A slippery sensation slowly wrapped around his body. Since they posed no danger to him, he thought of it as a sort of mud bath instead.

"If I wanted to bathe normally, it would have been a pain."

Ainz looked down at the most inconvenient part of his body to clean: his ribs. To wash them one by one took an inordinate amount of effort. He remembered how much time he had to put into it the last time and even though he was not capable of breathing, let out a sigh. That was not the only annoying place to clean. His spine was a problem as well. Due to the protrusions on the bones, the towels would constantly get snagged there. Meticulous effort was needed. At first, Ainz cleaned every single nook and cranny, but even with his strong mental fortitude, he was sick of it. He wondered what kind of cruel joke it was to take over thirty minutes just to clean his body.

Then he tried whirling around in soapy water like how washing machines span around. It wasn't bad, but the problem was that he did not feel clean at all afterwards. If he didn't scrub his body with something, it never felt like all the dirt was washed off him.

Next he had tried a cleaning brush with a handle attached to it. It was truly a fine idea. It did spray soap bubbles all around him, but Ainz didn't have to clean the bath. That was the job of the maids and they were happy to have something to clean. It was like killing two birds with a single stone.

But even this idea had a downside to it. He could not confirm whether his body was really clean. Just like how some people get cavities even though they brush really well, he was always worried about whether he had truly cleaned his body thoroughly.

Thus, Ainz arrived at the last and final solution of dumping slimes all over his body.

"Of course… this was revolutionary and ingenious. It's the perfect plan," Ainz murmured while watching the sapphire slimes crawling around his body. He nodded with satisfaction at his own idea. Perhaps this was his best idea so far since coming over to this world.

"The more I think about it, the better it seems!"

Praising himself over and over again, Ainz looked at the slimes scouring all parts of his body. Even though they were dangerous monsters that melted flesh with acid and were strong enough to bend metal bars, they cleaned Ainz's body extremely well. In some ways, he felt as if they were his pets.

"Very lovely indeed. Yeah… A slime bath is good, but sometimes I should take a regular bath as well.

The spa resort had various facilities besides the one bathtub he had temporarily taken over.

"Should I go…?"

But going there alone was no fun. Then—

"Yes! I should take Oshikuru-san and the guardians with me. It'd be good if everybody had some free time, everyone has been working hard lately. We deserve a break."

Ainz smiled brightly at his own brilliant idea.


There were two types of maids in Nazarick. One group was the Pleiades Battle Maids led by Yuri Alpha, while the other was the regular maids.

Save Tsuare and Celi, they were all homunculi, with a combined racial and job level of 1, and they were responsible for various jobs in the tenth and ninth floor of Nazarick. In particular, cleaning the various Supreme Beings' rooms was a task of utmost importance to them. There were forty-three maids in total now, but all homunculi were created by Whitebrim, Herohero and Coup De Grâce.

Within that group of maids, there was one homunculus called Sixth who kept her composure while rushing forward. This skill was a common technique amongst the maids, nothing special. She hurried towards the staff canteen. There was only one reason to go to the canteen this early in the morning. When she arrived, almost all her colleagues had already gathered for breakfast and started eating.

The canteen was predominantly white, with sparse decoration. The echo of the girls' cheerful chatter echoed off the walls like ripples in water. It would not be a problem if there was only one person, but since there were many people speaking, their voices blended into incomprehensible noise. On top of that, the sound of clinking tableware added to the din.

The maids in the canteen could be separated into four main groups. Strictly speaking, the last wasn't a proper group by itself, but composed of those maids who had detached themselves from the first three groups in order to eat in silence, to eat while reading or to talk to maids from the other groups.

Sixth, who came in late, belonged to the last group.

"Good morning… have you eaten?"

"Good morning. And yes, we've already eaten. Breakfast today was so good… smooth, creamy, tasty…"

Foire delivered this deadpan reply. She was bad at lying, but lied anyway. She had short hair and her maid skirt was similarly shortened to match her energetic appearance.

Beside her was Lumiere, whose delicate face was crowned by her blonde hair which sparkled like stars.

"Good morning. Now then Foire, since you shouldn't need seconds, you can wait here for us. I haven't had breakfast yet, so I'm going to get some. Come, Sixth, let's go."

Lumiere stood, trailed closely by Foire, who was frantically saying, "I was just kidding, really…"

After that brief drama, the three of them went over to the self-service buffet counter. Before they left, they had the maid called Increment, who was quietly reading a book, watch over their seats.

The first thing Sixth took at the buffet bar was a serving of crispy fried bacon. As a member of the noble faction which believed that 'soft bacon is the devil', she always went for that first. Next, she helped herself to some soup. Of the three flavours today (soup of the day, corn and onion) Sixth selected the last. After that were sausages, french fries and danishes. Her other plate was piled high with onion salad, almost to the point of spilling.

Finally, Sixth placed an order with a masked manservant.

"Um, I'll have triple cheese, double onions and extra mushrooms."

The manservant nodded, and began making the omelette. Sixth returned to her seat to put down her dishes and then poured herself a glass of milk before returning to where the manservant was waiting with her freshly-prepared omelette.

"Thank you very much."

The flawlessly-prepared omelette didn't have so much as a single singe mark on it, and she got back to her place just as her friends did.

"Then, let's eat!"

"Enjoy!"

"Have a good meal!"

Then the three of them had breakfast in silence. Slowly but steadily, they transferred the huge mountains of food, far in excess of what a normal girl would consume, from their plates into their bellies. It was because they all possessed Increased Food Consumption as a racial penalty. Due to of that, even though they were friends, they never shared while eating.

Foire chewed while her cheeks were bulging with food, Lumiere ate elegantly though her fork was moving at a ferocious speed, while Sixth ate at a rate in between the two.

"Huuu…"

The three of them exhaled in unison and then looked at each other.

"Seconds?"

"Sounds good, but let's take a break first."

"Yeah, I'm so stuffed… Say, Sixth, isn't it your turn to serve Ainz-sama today? You seem perkier than normal today."

Foire smiled mischievously, and so did Sixth.

"Lucky you, how much longer will it be until it's my turn?"

Lumiere counted off the days on her fingers.

The rooms of the Supreme Beings of Nazarick were massive in scale, so much so that one person needed half a day or more to clean one of them carefully. By numbers alone, it was possible for the maids to clean them all on a daily basis, even with Albedo's spare room factored in, but that would require a lot of people to work all day without any rest. However, this was not a problem to the maids. They had been created by the Supreme Beings of Nazarick; it was only fitting that they should work their fingers to the bone for them in devout reverence.

And then, these fanatical workers had been told to stop by their god Ainz Ooal Gown. Ainz knew the hardships of working under unethical companies, and he could not bear to let these girls, who were like his friends' daughters, suffer like that. He had told them, "Don't clean the unused rooms so frequently", and then "You will be grouped into teams for shifts."

Thus, the regular maids of Nazarick were organized into two shifts; day shift and night shift. The former had twenty-eight people and the latter had fourteen, while the one remaining person got the day off. After calculating the working days for the maids, the announcement that they would each have a break every twenty-eight days was met with complaint.

It was not that there were too few days off, but the opposite. They protested the need to have a day off at all. The purpose of their very existence was to work for the Supreme Beings. When they were told they didn't have to work, it damaged their self-worth and they felt like they no longer had a reason to exist.

As such, the maids took their concerns directly to Ainz. They said, "Please don't take our jobs", "We want to do it all day and night", and so on.

Ainz had shot the suggestion down on the spot. A fatigue system existed in Yggdrasil and while it could be easily solved with magic, there was no guarantee that fatigue would be healed as easily in this world. Even with magic, it would be bad if the workforce was worn down to the point when it could no longer function, like a cog gradually losing its teeth due to overuse.

Yet, the maids had adamantly refused to back down. Faced with their tears, Ainz had given in and proposed another type of work for them: to personally serve him. The new task entailed staying by Ainz's side to attend to his every whim and the maids would take turns filling that role.

This offer was as tempting as honey sprinkled with sugar to the maids, whose greatest joy in life was to serve the Supreme Beings. They had accepted the order without a second thought, telling themselves that "we need to take care of ourselves and rest well the day before, so we can serve with all our strength when it's our turn."

Which is why Foire said: "We need our nutrients so we can work hard, you know. Plus, depending on the circumstances, you might need to skip a meal too."

"Of course, when you serve Ainz-sama, your brain needs all the nutrients it can get."

"I want something sweet!"

The three girls nodded in unison. It should be noted that all the maids carried several meals' worth of candy and other such treats on them. They would snack on them whenever they had free time while serving Ainz. However, be it fortunate or not, they simply could not find that free time. As such, the morning meal was very important to them.

"Have you heard? They say they're going to cook using ingredients from the outside world and have a food tasting."

The other two gasped at Sixth's statement. She felt that was natural, because few of the maids thought well of the outside world, the one that lay beyond Nazarick. Some of them felt the outside world was inferior to Nazarick, but most of them were afraid of it, because the floor right above their home, the 8th floor, had once been invaded by people from the outside.

"Can we all go to the tasting? Or will only a few of us be allowed to go?"

Just as Sixth was about to answer Foire's question, the atmosphere in the canteen changed. The air itself seemed to heat up. As the newcomer came into the maids' sight, they couldn't help but squeal in delight.

"Shizu-chan!"

"It's Shizu-chan!"

The person who had just entered the canteen was one of the Pleiades, CZ Delta. The battle maids were like idols to the regular maids and CZ was the most popular of them all. There were frequent struggles to sit next to her.

"Ah, that penguin's here too."

CZ held a penguin under her arm and a worried-looking manservant was trailing behind her. It was the Assistant Butler, Eclair. He flapped his wings with all his strength, but there was just no way he could escape with the strength of a level 1 Birdman. His futile struggles quickly lost their vigor while the maids looked on. In the end, the penguin ran out of strength and went limp, like a wet dishrag.

"Shizu-chan! Over here! Eat with us!"

"No, come over here! Shizu-chaaaan~"

"Just throw that butler away! Over there would be fine!"

"Send that useless bird to the head chef, at least he'll contribute to Nazarick that way!"

There was a marked difference in the reception that the Assistant Butler and CZ received from the maids, but that couldn't be helped. He was disliked because he loudly proclaimed that he wanted to take over Nazarick, despite being a mere assistant butler. Even if he had been created that way by the Supreme Beings, his frequent announcements of those wild words made him difficult to have around.

CZ peered through the commotion around her as though searching for someone. The adorable way in which she did so, like she were a child who didn't know where to sit, made many of the maids' hearts beat faster.

"How surprising, even that penguin looks cuter when Shizu-chan hugs him!"

"I want a Shizu-chan hug pillow, Albedo-sama seems to know how to make those, I wonder if she'll teach me?"

"Albedo-sama is very kind, I'm sure she'll agree. Why don't you try asking her next time?"

The sound of a book closing with an audible thud came from the next table over and when Sixth turned to look, her eyes met Increment's.

"This place is getting noisy, so I'm going back. Since you're attending to Ainz-sama today, you too should probably finish breakfast quickly and head over to him. Any mistakes you make will reflect on all of us."

Having said what she wanted to, Increment turned and left without waiting for a reply. As she was watching her fellow maid leave, Sixth took out her pocket watch. Fortunately, she still had some time. After freshening up, she should be just in time.

"All right, I'll go grab some more stuff to eat while everyone's focused on Shizu-chan!"

Foire and Lumiere nodded at Sixth's idea.

"—Oh, that's a great idea!"

The sudden answer from the side made the three maids gasp.

"Lu-Lupusregina-chan!"

With hands clasped over her lurching heart, Sixth turned to face the source of the voice. There hadn't been anyone there, but in the moment when everyone had been distracted by CZ and looked away, Lupusregina had appeared out of nowhere. She sat on a chair with her legs crossed and even had her food placed on the table.

"Aw, don't scare us like that, come on!"

Foire was still clinging tightly to Lumiere, her eyebrows pressed into a frown.

"My heart almost jumped out of my mouth…" Lumiere murmured like she was shocked out of her mind and paid barely any attention to Foire clinging to her.

Lupusregina, the friendliest of the battle maids, was unpredictable. Still, given that she spent her time moving between different maid groups, being approached by her was a sign of good fortune. The proof was evident from the envious looks of some of the other maids, who had noticed Sixth and her situation.

"Ah, sorry, it seems the experiments in the village were effective, you three made some pretty nice reactions… "

The way Lupusregina supported her face with her arm on the table, with an evil grin on her face, made her look a little like a cat straight out of the storybooks. Even though her smile was nothing but mischievous, it was still surprisingly attractive. The battle maid's smile made Sixth's head go blank for a moment. The other two seemed to feel the same way, but the first one to recover was Foire.

"The village?"

Foire tilted her head, which made her short hair scrape against Lumiere's face. Resisting the urge to sneeze, Lumiere pushed Foire away before facing toward Lupusregina.

"Ah, that's right, you work outside, don't you, Lupusregina-san?"

"Yup, in the human village."

"The human village, huh… it must be tough."

Lumiere looked at Lupusregina with sympathetic eyes.

"Nah, it's nothing like that! Since Ainz-sama ordered it, it's worth doing! … Although, I have to say, it's kind of boring. How should I put this… it would be so much more fun to squish them beneath my feet."

Sixth has no particular reaction to that statement. Humans and their villages were unimportant to her. Whether they prospered or got destroyed, the only thing that mattered was if they were useful to Nazarick.

"Even if Ainz-sama says that village has value, I still can't see it…"

"Did Ainz-sama say that out of compassion for those worthless people in the village?"

"No, no, isn't Ainz-sama like a hurricane of death? I'm sure he'll grind them into dust whenever he feels like it."

"What are you saying? Don't you know Ainz-sama is the living avatar of wisdom? Even that wouldn't be enough to describe him. All this must be part of his plan."

"Ara, I can't pretend I didn't hear that, surely Ainz-sama's power must be the best part of him…"

The four beauties stared at each other.

"Ainz-sama is a beautiful, compassionate person."

"Ainz-sama is the incarnation of death."

"Ainz-sama is an extraordinary hero."

"Oh, looks like everyone has a different impression of Ainz-sama. Then, let's have a competition to see who picks out the most suitable title for Ainz-sama."

In an instant, everyone went silent. Lupusregina was wearing her usual smile, but she was very determined not to let the other maids pull ahead of her in terms of appreciating her liege's best qualities. However, Sixth and her two friends felt the same way. Although the regular maids were weak beings, their love and passion for their master was no less than that of anyone else's.

"Then, the three of you may begin."

The first to speak was Lumiere.

"Then, as I said earlier, I wish to praise Ainz-sama's beauty. So how about 'A figure of beautiful porcelain, shining and flawless, the gentle lord of mercy'? That's what I think."

Next was Foire.

"Well, if we're going to praise Ainz-sama, then we should praise his awesome power, right? What is more fitting than 'Memento Mori'!"

The third was Sixth.

"Ainz-sama is the one who commands the Supreme Beings, so his management skills would be excellent. So he is the 'wisest of the wisest'."

Although everyone's names fitted their master well, in the end they all thought their own choices was the best. Lupusregina coughed gently as Sixth, Foire and Lumiere looked at her. With a proud look on her face, she said: "In the end, he is the absolutely strongest and most—"

"—There you are."

The source of the calm voice was CZ. The penguin butler she had been holding under her arm had vanished to parts unknown.

"… Don't use invisibility. So much."

"Sorry… it's becoming a habit…"

"… And then. You had breakfast."

A furious anger seemed to be burning under CZ's emotionless face.

Sixth had a feeling that she shouldn't be here any longer.

"… Ah, I-I have to go to Ainz-sama!"

"Then, I'll go too."

"I'll send you along…"

Sixth and the others quietly vacated their seats, though they did feel a little bad ignoring Lupusregina's pleading looks toward them. They only managed to go for one round of the buffet. Pangs of regret stung their hearts as they slipped away, but now was the time for work.

Sixth paid no heed to the tension that was rapidly filling the air behind them. Instead, she lightly slapped her cheeks to focus herself. Her face had the stern, brave expression of a soldier heading off to a war, but her footsteps were light and fast.

"Ainz-sama, here I come!"