Masked Dan Riders
Naruto x Dandadan
In which Naruto fights as a Kamen Rider using the power of legendary kaiju.
In a secret laboratory in Japan, a scientist in the usual white lab coat was inputting data into his computer. He and some medical professionals had just finished a medical operation to incorporate foreign cells into a human subject. It had been an astounding success, and the scientist was now looking beyond what the subject could be capable of in the future. There were so many possibilities, and frighteningly, they could be endless if the data was right.
The door to the lab opened, and the scientist glanced briefly over to see his supervisor, a lady in a suit, before returning to his work.
"How's the kid?" she asked as she looked at the task that held the test subject and frowned. "Did he already have muscles like that?"
The test subject in the tank filled with blue-green liquid was a young man with spiky blonde hair, whisker-marks on his cheeks, and a slender figure with firm abs. He was floating inside the vat with wires connected to him, and a breathing apparatus over his mouth. He was currently asleep, and put under while he was being worked on.
"Stabilized. He took to the surgery well. Too well, I should say. It's almost like he was the perfect test subject for the project," the scientist answered, "Aside from that, the implant and injected cells gave him those muscles. He wasn't fat, but it's still remarkable. I think he grew a little down there too."
"Excellent. He'll be the soldier we need to defend our planet from the supernatural and otherworldly threats, and the vanguard for our own plans for the new world order." The supervisor grinned, placing her hand on the tank. "The world is going to change, and we'll be ahead of the curve."
"That is if he'll cooperate. We did kidnap and put him through all of this without his consent after all," the scientist quipped as he moved away from his computer. "Just say the word and I can input the Red Shoes control program."
"No need for that. There's a reason this one was chosen." the supervisor said as she walked towards a suitcase and opened it. "He'll fight, no matter what. He's not the type to ignore a cry for help."
Inside the suitcase was a device reminiscent of a belt buckle, shaped like a monster's mouth with a lever on the side, with trinkets shaped into orbs that resembled eyes.
"I guess you're right. With what we know is coming, he'll have no choice," the scientist agreed, looking over the files of cases that not even the police could handle. "I just need to make a few more adjustments and he'll be ready to go-"
Suddenly, the room was filled with red lights as alarms blared through the room.
"What the? The base alarm?!"
"This isn't the drill alarm! What- Who could've found us?!"
Unknownst to the two, the blonde slowly opened his blue eyes.
Ghosts. Aliens. The world is full of mysteries.
And then you have the monstrous beings known as kaiju, with the King of the Monsters being the legendary Godzilla himself.
Kaiju are the titans of the world, leaving more of a mark on the world than ghosts and aliens ever could. Whether manmade on Earth or from beyond the stars, almost no one knows where these kaiju come from. All the masses know is that they leave behind a path of destruction whenever they appear. Those who survive their wrath are lucky to live to tell the tales, which eventually become urban legends and night-time children's stories. After that, they are either killed and hidden or sink back into the shadows of the world.
As a young boy, Uzumaki Naruto witnessed through power as someone both and raised in a hidden village that trained modern shinobi. Two battling kaiju came through and leveled the village, with him and a small number of survivors scattering across Japan. As Naruto was an orphaned survivor due to the carnage, this memory of the ordeal was fuzzy, but he knew what they were. He didn't know what they looked like or why they were fighting, but it resulted in him losing his dream to become the village leader and looking into unraveling the mystery of the Titans, resulting in a normal with a few odd jobs here and there.
One job left a fuzzy gap in his memory, but whatever happened, it changed him, allowing him to protect people with his newfound powers and abilities, no matter how overkill it is…
Masked Dan Riders
"Huh?"
"I said if you ain't gonna lend me no cash, I ain't takin' you on no date. But yo, if you put out, I'll take you wherever. Like a love hotel, but you're payin' for it."
"...Oh brother, 'ttebayo."
As he arrived at school, second-year Naruto could only sweatdrop at seeing his gyaru friend, first-year Ayase Momo, arguing with her prick of a boyfriend, who was a year older than her. It was no surprise to him, as he and her other friends had already told her that he was no good for her. Of course, her number one preference for a boyfriend was so skewed that he was grateful that he was never in her pool of options. In what way was that guy like that one legendary actor that Momo obsesses over? Even Stevie Wonder could see that he was nothing like him.
With attractive gyaru features, medium-length brown hair and eyes, she was too good for that poor excuse of a 'boyfriend'.
Naruto watched as Momo grumbled before attacking with a roundhouse kick in rage. Her 'boyfriend' blocked and knocked her leg away before grabbing her incoming fist.
"You greedy creep, I'll-!" she yelled as she reared back for another punch.
"Shut it!"
He knocked away Momo's half-assed attack and kicked her in the stomach, knocking her back. She would've hit the ground had Naruto not quickly rushed over to catch her. The blond then needed to hold her back as she struggled to get back at her 'boyfriend.'
"What?! Whatcha gonna do?! Kick my ass?! Man, I'm done!" he snapped with a disgusted look on his face. "You broke, lame-"
"Oi, Momo's a gyaru. You're lucky to have a girl like her in his day and age." Naruto shot back sternly with narrowed eyes while continuing to hold Momo back.
"Seriously, bro? Word of advice, gyaru-wannabes like her ain't girlfriend material. She's broke, won't put out, lame! She was lucky to have me when no one else wanted her!" he growled before stalking off. "No matter, there's plenty of fish in the sea to get my dick wet. I'm out!"
"Oh yeah?! You're an octopus! A tuna! Squid!" Momo shrieked back, whaling her arms and legs at him. "Get your dick mangled in a beartrap!"
"Riveting comeback, Momo-chan. You sure got him with that one," Naruto drawled, continuing to hold her until her so-called boyfriend was gone, then set her down. "You know that 'plenty of fish in the sea' goes both ways."
"Forget that! Why'd you let him beat me up, senpai?!" Momo wailed, hitting his chest with rapid-fire 'pow-hammer'-esque blows.
"I thought you had him with that kick. Besides, your friends and I warned you not to go out with him, but you didn't listen!" he groaned, holding her back until she finally stopped.
"Waahhhh, why couldn't he be more like Takakura Ken~?" she whined, sinking to the floor in a depressed squat. "Strong and silent…"
"Welcome to the world of the real, Momo-chan…I still don't understand how you saw Takakura Ken in that guy," Naruto replied with a sweatdrop. 'Man, the Prime Minister would be so disappointed right now…'
"Guo, this sucks." Momo groaned as she dragged herself to the school before stopping and pointing at Naruto. "Don't even think about asking me out. Takakura Ken would never be so free-spirited with pranks!"
"You've already made that clear months ago," he said with a sweatdrop.
This girl's standards were impossible…but so were his and everyone else as they were teenagers…
"Guh, I bet that Masked Rider is a stoic, yet awkward guy…"
"About as doubtful as ghosts are real…"
"Oh screw you!"
"Buy me dinner first."
Class had yet to start, so Naruto was on the rooftop, looking down at the school grounds where the last of the students were filling in for the day. It was just another day, other than that incident with Momo when he arrived earlier.
"I will never understand girls. They're nothing like kaa-chan these days. So picky, like Momo. How can girls find a Takakura Ken these days when we can't find a Tanaka Hitomi?"
Unlike Takakura Ken, Tanaka Hitomi was an actress for a more adult audience, possessing the biggest bazookas ever seen in Japan. But boys finding their own Tanaka Hitomi with big boobs was just as likely as girls finding their Takakura Ken with a cool personality; zero chance. And with the slow advent of the internet, the zero chance is becoming no chance in Hell.
"...Not that it matters," he murmured as he pulled out an object from his book bag.
It was an orange device that was shaped like a monster's mouth with eyes on top of the sides, with a lever one side, and an opening in the middle allowing for something to be put in. He gazed at it and sighed, putting it back in his bag.
"At least it wasn't organ thieves."
With class about to start, Naruto left the rooftop and headed on to class, parkouring down the stairs by skipping and hopping down steps and banisters with ease. As he neared his desired floor, he heard a loud voice and stopped when he happened upon a surprising sight.
Momo was confronting an average young man with bowl-cut brown hair and brown eyes behind his round-frame glasses. The blonde recognized him as a first-year and the school's occult fanatic…what was his name again-?
"-and Skywalker Ranch-!"
"I DON'T CARE!" Momo suddenly roared, knocking the kid's magazine away. "I just got dumped and I'm pissed off at everything! And the last thing I need right now is some shitty nerd pushing their nerdy crap in my face! That right there is why you've got no friends!" she continued, causing Occult-kun to drop his magazine. "There's no chance we'll ever be."
You could hear a pin drop as Momo walked towards the stairs before seeing Naruto. Before she could say anything, she blanched at the look of absolute wide-eye disgust on his face. She squirmed for a moment, guilty and avoiding his eyes.
"I know the four-eyes was bothering you, but that was low, even for you, you know," he deadpanned, still having the look of disgust on his face with disappointment dripping in his voice. Without another word, he pointed at him.
"..." Momo groaned before turning towards the occult kid, whose head was drooped down in sorrow. "Sorry. That was too mean," she mumbled, walking towards him and picking up his book. Brushing it off, she handed it back to Occult-kun, who looked surprised. "I don't mean to rain on your parade, but I don't believe aliens are real. But, I do believe in that Masked Rider guy, and ghosts."
Naruto smiled. "Heh, that's much better-"
"Oh please, there's no such thing as ghosts." Occult-kun suddenly said with a laugh.
"WHAAAAAA?!" a now enraged Momo instantly shrieked, dropping the magazine. "What kind of jerk goes and laughs at a girl when she's trying to relate to him?!" she demanded angrily.
Occult-kun just kept laughing as he swiped up his book. "You shouldn't mock the occult!" he shot back.
"And apparently, this is now happening," Naruto noted in shock as both snarled at each other.
"FYI, my old hag of an obaa-chan is a real-life spirit medium!" declared Momo, jabbing at her chest with a thumb proudly.
"What?!"
"You ever see an exorcism? It's totes insane! The possessed victim shakes into full-blown convulsions!"
"You know illnesses cause convulsions too, right? Do you have evidence to prove something supernatural?"
"Oh yeah? You ever go for a ride in a UFO with an alien before!?"
"Only an idiot would jump to conclusions like that!"
"...Ya know, those two are kinda made for each other to an extent. Weird otaku obsession and all, not like I can talk with how awesome Godzilla can be," Naruto noted in disbelief as Momo's fellow gyaru friends, Miko and Muko (nicknamed Kei-san), joined him on the stairs.
"Ooh, so she gave up Takakura Ken for a kooky otaku?" Muko inquired.
"Seems like it," Naruto replied with a shrug.
"Yeah, right? She ain't even tryin' to hide it." Miko noted while slipping on her drink.
"He's no Takakura Ken, but I guess she finally saw the light," Naruto scratched his head. "Still…"
"But you know, I can't say I hate it~" Muko giggled.
Naruto snorted as he walked down the stairs and past the two squabbling first-years. While it would be fun to see what would come out of it, his class was about to start, so he could ask Momo about it later.
Entering his classroom, he wasn't surprised to see the sights before him. Haruno Sakura and Yamanaka Ino pulling each other's hair out over an exasperated Uchiha Sasuke; Nara Shikamaru pretending to sleep at his deck; Akimichi Choji eating his third bag of potato chips; Inuzuka Kiba feeding his puppy Akamaru who he sneaks into the school; Abarame Shino reading a book on bugs; Hyuga Neji being bored and brooding in the corner; Rock Lee doing push-ups; Tenten reading a weapons magazine; Sai drawing some fancy artwork on a scroll; and of course, his childhood friend Hyuga Hinata shyly sneaking peeks at him.
"Ohayo!" he greeted his classmate as he tossed his bag to his seat.
He dug out some string and water bottles, grabbed a bucket, filled it with water, and used the string to hang the bucket over the door. Everyone saw what he was doing and groaned in unison, as Naruto was up to his usual prankster habits.
"C'mon Naruto, really?" Shikamaru groaned from his so-called nap.
"We're gonna get another pop quiz because of you!" Ino yelled at him.
"Oh, lighten up. More points for us." Naruto shot back as he finished his contraption.
"At least have some consideration for us." Neji groaned in annoyance.
"Sure thing, Top Grades-san." Naruto slyly said as he returned to his seat.
"Oh yeah, Naruto. I heard that the failure of a gal lost her boyfriend." Sai piped up while still drawing. "Now's your chance."
"Eh?" Hinata yelped, looking disheartened.
"No way! She still wants a Takakura Ken, and I'm not him!" Naruto rapidly shook his head, waving it off as Hinata breathed a sigh of relief. "Not for a lack of trying, but I got rejected months ago. I'm more than happy just being her senpai."
"Sorry, I thought she and her friends were your girlfriends in a harem," Sai replied, sounding honest.
"It's possible for a guy and a girl to just be friends, Sai." Naruto said with a sweatdrop. "A harem doesn't sound so bad, but…"
Sakura snorted. "Could've fooled me."
"How long was your date with Sasuke again? Like two minutes?" Naruto shot back and smirked at Sasuke. "It was two minutes, right?"
"Two and a half," Sasuke grunted, "I had better things to do."
"Oh-ho? So you exaggerated, as usual pinky." Ino laughed before pumping her fist. "My turn now."
Sasuke groaned. "Save me."
"I can provide you with a longer date, Sakura-san!" Rock Lee volunteered.
"Pass!" she shrieked as everyone laughed. "You'll pay for that, Naruto!" she yelled, pointing dramatically at the blonde.
Naruto sweatdropped. "But it's true. Sasuke told me himself. I did tell him off for you."
"Ugh, so noisy," Tenten whined from behind her magazine. "Keep it down!"
The door to the classroom then opened, with the bucket above and tipping over, but hitting nothing but the floor.
"Naruto, clean the floor while I start homeroom." Umino Iruka growled at him with a tickmark on his head.
"Heh, about time you dodged. Now I'm gonna try something new, ya know?" Naruto said with a chuckle.
"CUT THE STUPID TRICKS! THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING!" Iruka snapped at him with a big head.
Naruto, unaffected, smiled wide. "No promises, bro. That was like your sixth last warning, you know. Heh heh heh."
"If that's how it's gonna be, everyone gets a pop quiz!" Iruka declared, with everyone groaning and Naruto not losing his shit-eating grin.
Just another day with Naruto and his classmates.
It was the end of the school day, and Naruto arrived back at his house, a standard two-story terrace house with a garage, walls and a fence surrounding the property, a balcony on the second floor, and an antic at the top. Arriving with his motorcycle, he entered the garage, closed it behind him, and entered the house. It wasn't completely Naruto's house, as it belonged to his constantly traveling godparents: Jiraiya, an author of lewd stories; and Tsunade, a practicing head doctor.
However, the house was always invaded by an unwelcome guest…
"I swear, I changed the locks 4 times. How are you getting in?" he groaned in exasperation.
In his kitchen was a woman with long black hair and sunglasses over her brown eyes, and was dressed as if she was a government agent; wearing a white collared shirt with a tie, a black blazer, and miniskirt, along with tights and black heels.
"I have my ways. I have to keep an eye on you after all." the woman said before gesturing to the table that had bags of groceries. "A little care package for you. You need more than instant ramen to get through the day."
"You didn't have to do that," Naruto said as he took a cup of ramen out. "The fact that you did means you need something from me, as usual." he poured some water and set his ramen in the microwave to cook. "So Smith-san, who or what am I hunting tonight?"
Kuroko Smith was his handler. She usually comes by to deliver missions for Naruto to take. Usually, it's to help with her job which Naruto was not privy to.
"Tonight's catch of the day is…Aliens." Ms. Smith revealed, handing Naruto a file. "There have been some reports of disappearances lately, and an odd energy signature has been detected near the abandoned Nagi Hospital. I would like for you to investigate, neutralize them if they are a threat, and report back."
The microwave dinged, signaling that it was done. Naruto took it out and set it to cool, all while keeping his eyes on Ms. Smith.
"…Fine. What choice do I have? Either this or you sell me out to the government." He grumbled as he took out an object from his backpack, a device shaped like a monster's mouth with a lever on the side.
He gazed at it, remembering how it mysteriously appeared on his person years ago, where he had a gap in his memory. It was a normal day until he blacked out and awakened on the outskirts of a town and dressed in a hospital gown. He was also carrying a suitcase with the device and some trinkets shaped like orbs inside.
Along with other similar-looking belts and devices…
"Hey now, I'm not going to sell you out. You'll just be my personal gofer. Regardless, I'd rather not sell you out anyway. No government should have access to what you can do. I told you that I'd protect you. I owe your parents too much to betray you." Ms. Smith chided him.
"Whatever. Just let me do my homework before I go out."
"If it's math homework, I'm staying." Ms. Smith said as she adjusted her glasses. "I know how bad you are at that."
Naruto grumbled as he started devouring his ramen.
"Nagi Hospital…"
It took a while, but Naruto got his homework done with the help of his handler. And by help, she gave him all of the answers to his math homework. He did manage to kick her out of the house before she ruined his other assignments.
He stopped his motorcycle in front of the dilapidated hospital building and looked through some specialized binoculars, seeing an actual UFO hovering near the top floor of the building.
"Time to greet the newcomers."
Revving his motorcycle, he rode it up the staircase of the building, before spotting a light shaped like a doorway. He hopped off the ledge and drove through it, hearing the echoing voice of what obviously was the aliens.
"We cannot be friends with violent humans like you…besides, we prefer female humans to the male ones anyway."
"Then you're gonna love me!" Naruto yelled, guessing that the aliens were hostile.
He bulldozed through the opposing wall and spotted the aliens; angular, yet slug-like heads with big lips, large headlight eyes on horizontal stalks, and a stripe-patterned body with fat stomachs.
"You again?! I thought I told you Serpos to piss off!" Naruto yelled as he recognized them, using his bike's momentum to kick one of them away. "And now you're back for another beating? It must be asskick-o'clock!"
The Serpoians. They were an alien race who started invading the Earth years ago and searching for bananas. And by bananas, they meant human reproductive organs. Naruto had dealt with them for a few years, either being one of their targets or putting an end to their 'banana hunting.'
"It's the human that our brethren warned us about." One of them called out. "Neutralize him and take his banana. Fie!"
Naruto frowned and leaned to the side, dodging the psychic shot, which smashed into the wall behind him.
"What?" one of the Serpo said and crossed its arms. "Serpogrametry!"
Naruto leapt away from his motorcycle and landed. "I already told you creeps that you're not Ultramen, dattebayo," he drawled.
"Naruto, is that you?!" A familiar female voice shouted from behind him.
"Uzumaki-senpai!" Another familiar male voice called to the side.
"Huh?" Naruto looked to the side to find the occult kid from earlier in the day. "Kid-! What the hell are you wearing? It isn't Halloween yet-" he started to say before seeing the 'outfit' moving, the mask trying to encase his face. "What the hell have you been possessed by?!"
"Occult-kun lost a race with Turbo Granny and now he's possessed by her!"
"Turbo Gran-?! Momo-chan?!" Naruto whipped around. "They got you too-" he started to say before he saw her state. She was trapped in a chair wearing nothing but her white bra and panties with a surprising and impressive figure. "You really are a gyaru. You're stacked." He noted, looking at her up and down.
"Now's not the time for that, you perv!" she shrieked as she struggled, "How did you find us?!"
"Never mind that! You said Turbo Granny! Don't tell me you were messing around in her tunnel?! What the hell did you two do?"
"We made bets! Now help us, will ya?!" Momo raged at him.
"Just take Ayase-san! I can try and hold them off!" Occult-kun shouted from the side.
"None of you will be going anywhere. The only way you're leaving is by letting us have your bananas." the Serpo said as its fellows gathered around them. "Resistance is futile."
"...Fine, then," Naruto said and pulled out his device, pressing it against the front of his abdomen. "I won't be holding back."
[KAIJU DRIVER] The device responded by wrapping a belt around his waist.
"Allow me to give you creeps the traditional welcome to Earth."
Opening the top of the driver, he pulled out one of the orbs and pressed it. [GODZILLA] The orb announced, followed by a shrieking roar that caused everyone around Naruto to freeze in momentary fear until he inserted it in the Driver. [SET KAIJU] It repeated until Naruto closed the Driver and started to turn the level.
[GO ZILLA] the Driver chanted as Naruto turned the lever, as a figure appeared from the Driver. It was a flying jacket with scales, more enlarged scales going down the back vertically, and blue eyes in the hood. Throwing his hand out, he brought it to his face, covering half of it as his irises glowed an eerie blue.
"Henshin!"
He slammed the button on the left side of the Driver, causing the orb inside to hatch, revealing a miniature scaly and reptilian creature sitting inside and wailing. Armor started encasing the blonde from the Driver, enveloping him in a black undersuit, followed by scaly armor. As soon as he was fully enveloped, a pulse of energy erupted from him, causing him to reach out as if he was floating in a trance, as the hooded jacket finally flew towards him and dressed itself on him, breaking him out of the trance-like stance; completing the transformation as the 'bug eyes' on the helmet flashed and he let out a low-sounding growl.
[KAIJU RIDER: ZILLA DAN]
"Hey, is that-?!" Occult-kun yelped in shock.
"The bane of our species." the lead Serpo said.
"WHAT?! You're the freakin' Masked Rider around town?!" Momo demanded angrily, wailing in her seat. "Dammit, now you ruined the mystique!"
"Kaiju Rider…ZillaDan." Naruto said and flicked his wrist. "I'm not an awkward fellow, Momo-chan."
"Screw you, you ruined my headcanon!" She wailed before whispering. "Why did you have to be the Rider?"
"Your fascinating transformation will not help you here, human male. We'll be taking that device, along with your banana!" the lead Serpo declared before unleashing psychometry on Momo. "Neutralize him while I attend to the female."
"Time to rampage!" Naruto yelled and rushed at the aliens.
"Serpogrametry!"
Naruto charged through the psychic blast, the energy washing off his armor like water, and kicked a Serpo into a wall. The other Serpo tried to flank him, only for Naruto to reach out and snag him. He seized the offending limb before using the alien as a punching bag, his blows causing the alien's skin to ripple and cave in with each impact.
"This human is much stronger than the other." the Serpo said before being punched away. "He needs to be neutralized immediately."
"You first." Naruto snarled as he twirled the lever on his Driver.
[CHARGE ZILLA] the Driver chanted as Naruto focused the energy on his helmet, leaning back with the spines on his back popped out while starting to glow blue, and slammed the button on the side. [KAIJU DRIVE: BLAST FEVER] it announced as an orb of energy formed in front of Naruto's mask.
"Atomic Breath!"
With the spines clicking back into place, Naruto's mask opened a jagged maw and roared, unleashing a wave of energy, blasting the two Serpoians. The latter tried to counter with their psychic blasts, but even the controlled power of Godzilla was too much for them, as the energy washed over and obliterated them.
"Woah, that was awesome, Uzumaki-senpai!" Occult-kun called out.
"I know, right? Didn't even have to go all out." Naruto agreed and turned towards the last Serpo, who was looking nervous even while trying to scramble Momo's brainwaves. "And then there was one- Eh?"
Suddenly, there was the sound of glass breaking and the room turning green, signaling an explosion of power coming from…Momo?!
"Ayase-san, you never said you had psychic powers!" Occult-kun yelled out in shock.
"I second that and it's fucking awesome!" Naruto agreed with a thumbs up.
"You're telling me! I didn't even know I had this!" Momo yelped as she was enveloped in green energy and floated in the air.
"Impossible. A greater force is repelling my psychokinesis," the Serpo noted as it tried to reestablish its dominance on her mind, but failed, as Momo tried out her new power, making a disconnected floor panel float around her in wonderment. "What happened? Perhaps the female human's brain waves were overstimulated, granting access to her chakra."
"In other words, you done fucked up." Naruto drawled before feeling something warming and shaking in his pack. "Huh? This is…"
"She's…she's not a fake! My obaa-chan's totes an honest-to-God medium!" Momo declared with pride and a newfound respect for her craft.
As she was under the psychokinetic assault, her mind shifted back to the past, where when she was a kid, her grandma taught her a charm to ward off evil spirits by using chi. The problem was that doing so had her being made fun of, with the boy that she liked joining in on the fun. It upset her, not because of the boy joining in on making fun of her; they were making fun of her grandma, who took her in and raised her after her parents died. Still, it resulted in her resenting her grandmother for years, believing her to be a con artist, a fake, someone whose name she invoked to one-up the Occult-kun…but now after using the chi exercise…
"Thank you, obaa-chan! Now I have the power to take these creeps on, and send them flying!" she yelled as she kicked the Serpo back.
"Momo-chan, catch!"
The gyaru looked over before catching a clear Driver-esque device. "What the hell is this- eep!" She yelped as she caught a small orb. "A ball?"
"Use your new power to transform, Momo!" he shouted before batting away one of the Serpo.
"Are you kidding me? Transform? Like you? Well, my clothes are destroyed, so," she grumbled as she put the clear Driver to her abdomen, the device producing a belt that wrapped around her waist, with the Driver opening from the top. "I can't believe this is happening. This is totes insane!" She said as she pressed the button on the orb, allowing it to absorb and draw on her power.
[PSYCHIC] it announced as she quickly stuffed it into the Driver. [SET CHAKRA] it repeated until it was shut, with the core inside opening up to reveal a wailing glowing head inside. [GO PSY] the Driver sang repeatedly, just as the Serpo recovered from her kick and began to chase her.
"Now what do I do?!" She wailed.
"Push in the lever on the side!" Naruto shouted as he booted the Serpo back. "You know what to say!"
"I won't let you!" the Serpo in front of Momo said, a note of fear in its synthesized voice as it charged at her.
"Ah!" Momo yelped as she pushed the lever in. "No you don't!" she cried out, her irises glowing green. "Henshin!"
She unleashed a roundhouse kick reminiscent of the kick she aimed earlier in the day against her ex-boyfriend. Like before, the Serpo blocked the kick (weirdly enough the same way with the side cross guard), just as a cloaked teal hood burst out of the driver. Teal tron lines rose up and around her body and limbs from the Driver. As the hood settled on her, there was a flash of light, and Momo was donned in sleek form-fitting armor with armor pieces around her arms, legs, and chest area, with the green tron lines decorating around her. Her form was similar to Naruto's albeit less monstrous and more futuristic, with the same style of 'bug eyes' on her helmet.
"Take this, creep!" she yelled, unleashing her newfound power with her kick bypassing the Serpo's defense by breaking the bones in its defending arm and sending it crashing into a wall.
[CHAKRA RIDER: PSY DAN]
"Whoa, this is totes amazing!" Momo yelled as she examined herself. "I'm all covered up! I thought my belly and mouth would be open! So freakin' cool!"
"Not bad, Momo-chan," Naruto praised her as he cranked his lever.
[CHARGE ZILLA]
"Now let me show you how to do a real kick!" he said, crouching down and slamming the side button. [KAIJU DRIVE: KICK FEVER] The spines on his back glowed again as energy traveled down his boot, emitting the same glow of energy as said boot grew.
"Kaiju Style!" he yelled and jumped toward the Serpo. "Rider Kick!"
With a flying sidekick, Naruto blasted the hostile alien with an overcharged kick, sending it into its fellow recovering alien; with both of them crashing into a wall that happened to be the ship's cockpit.
"Holy! I can do that too?!" Momo cheered and pushed the lever on the side of her Driver. [CHAKRA DRIVE: KICK FEVER] it announced as her chakra traveled down her leg. "Hell yeah I can! Take this!" she yelled, jumping and flipping into the air to deliver a flying kick. "Take your banana and shove it, creepozoids!"
The lead Serpo cried out in monotone as Momo's kick knocked it into its brethren, the force of the overcharged kick due to her inexperience causing them to smash into the navigation console. This started a chain reaction that caused the panels around Naruto, Momo, and the Occult-kun to start flicking and sparks to fly. Outside, the ship lost its cloaking device, revealing a rounded, classical flying saucer.
"What the hell?! We're really in a UFO?!" Momo yelled as the panel started to rip apart. "How the hell did you get up here with a motorcycle?!"
"Talk later! You overcharged your Rider Kick! Now the ship's coming apart!" Naruto yelled back as she got to his motorcycle. "C'mon! Let's get the Occult kid and get out of here- What the?" When he looked over to where Momo was, he saw Occult-kun, only that he was fully demonic, mask one and all with reddish-white hair and disjointed limbs. He was sticking onto the ceiling until he shot toward Momo with a roar. "Momo-chan, above you!"
"Gah!" she yelped as the possessed Occult-kun pinned her down and latched onto her arm with their teeth. "Ow! What the hell do you think you're doing, baka?! Return to reality already, damn you!" she screamed, putting her free hand on the mask and instinctively channeling her power.
As she tried to get him off her, her power burst through Occult-kun, making the spirit inside struggle to regain control until Naruto zoomed forward on his bike and kicked the spirit out of him.
"Turbo Granny?!" Naruto and Momo said as the spirit loomed over her and the boys.
"DAMN IT, NOT YOU AGAIN!" she growled out in annoyance at Naruto. "YOU BROUGHT A FRIEND THIS TIME? WHO THE HELL IS THIS BROAD?"
"Turbo Granny, why are you here? I thought we talked about this!" Naruto snarled at her before Occult-kun started contorting and convulsing. "Kid?!"
"What's going on? Granny's out of his body, but the curse hasn't lifted!" Momo said as she held Turbo Granny back with her power.
"Wait, don't tell me he went inside your lair!" Naruto guessed and was confirmed when Momo flinched at that. "Damn it you old hag! My kouhai doesn't know any better! Let him go!"
"NEVER! NOT WHEN I HAVE POSSESSION OF HIS SCHLONG. AS LONG AS I HAVE HIS FAMILY JEWELS, THAT KID'S CURSE WON'T BE LIFTED." she said gleefully as Occult-kun continued to struggle. "IF YOU WANT IT BACK, COME TO THE TUNNEL. THIS PLACE IS TOO FAR FOR ME," she said as her spiritual form disintegrated. "I TAKE YOU BOTH ON AS MUCH AS YOU WANT IF IT'S IN THE TUNNEL, ESPECIALLY YOU, YOU GAUDY, TACKY LIL' BITCH!"
"Not this shit again…" Naruto groaned as Momo started to rage.
"Who you calling gaudy and tacky, you wrinkly old bag of crap?!" she shouted after her as Occult-kun started to make running motions on the floor. "Give him back his pecker!"
"Vintage riveting comeback, Momo-chan. You really need to work on that." Naruto drawled as another part of the ship exploded. "Crap, we're going down! Both of you get on my bike! We gotta go!"
"What?! How the hell are you gonna escape?! We're gonna die!" Momo wailed as Naruto's bike suddenly constructed a sidecar. "Holy crap, how did -?!"
Naruto didn't answer as he dropped Occult-kun into the sidecar, grabbed Momo and seated her in front of them, and revved the bike. She screamed as Naruto shot forward, blasting through the wall and out of the ship that was crashing into the abandoned hospital. The trio sailed through the air as the hospital exploded behind them, with the UFO suddenly curving and following behind as they landed on the road.
Naruto kept going with Momo and Occult-kun yelling as the UFO now crashed on the road behind them, tearing up the pavement. Thankfully it stopped short, with Naruto hitting the brakes to execute a certain ironic drifting maneuver.
"...Did you just do an Akira Slide?" Momo bit out in amazement.
Naruto smirked under his helmet. "I've got a bike and it's free real estate. More importantly, you two alright?"
"Not really. I'm cursed now," Occult-kun groaned as he slid out of the sidecar.
"Just the worst," Momo groaned as she sat on the ground while keeping her hands pointed towards Occult-kun. "But, I'll believe in aliens now. Like, I was abducted by them and all."
"I'll believe in ghosts, too. I got cursed by one, after all," Occult-kun agreed glumly.
"So, what should we do from here?"
"What should we do?"
"You'll lose control of yourself if I don't hold the curse back with psychic powers."
"I'm sorry."
"Thanks to those jagoffs, I lost my uniform, my wallet, my smartphone, everything."
Naruto sighed as he de-transformed. He looked at the wreckage of the spaceship, sighed again, and pulled out his phone, a rare Samsung Matrix phone from the movie that his godparents gifted him for a birthday, and dialed a number.
"Ah, Naruto. I was waiting for your call. How'd it go?" Ms. Smith inquired.
"There were Serpos and they kidnapped two of my kouhai. I dealt with them and got a new Rider out of it." Naruto said as he gazed at the wreckage that was starting to spark and brew fires. "Also, you're going to need to bring a clean-up crew. Most of the road near the hospital is totaled from their ship crashing."
"As expected. I advise you and your friends to get out of there before my people arrive."
"Already done. We also gotta deal with Turbo Granny. One of the kouhai got on her bad side."
"Oh geez, that means someone's been slacking off on patrols again. Good luck with that. Hopefully, she'll be in a better mood."
"Somehow I doubt that. Later." Naruto said and shut his phone. He turned around to see Occult-kun stripping out of his clothes. "Oi, kid. What are you doing?"
"Giving Ayase-san my clothes," he answered. "Senpai, can you take Ayase-san back home. I'm heading over to Turbo Granny-"
"Kid, you have three seconds to start putting your clothes back on before you become the victim of my next prank at school," Naruto growled, his eyes narrowed as he glared at the kid, who crumpled under his fierce glare.
"H-Hai, senpai!" he yelped and started to hastily put them back on.
"Geez. You're going to catch a cold. And you. Detransform." he pointed at Momo and continued before she could protest. "I have a T-shirt and a tracksuit for you. They're my size, but I'm sure you can manage."
"Oh thank god. It was getting stuffy in here." Momo said as she did just that. "I don't know how you manage."
"You get used to it. It takes a while to acclimate to the Rider armor. Not bad for your first battle, you know." Naruto said, handing her the stack of spare clothes while gazing at her figure. "Seriously, you and Hinata-chan need to own your looks. You're not bad-looking at all. Believe it."
"Geez, no need to butter me up, senpai," she hissed as she slipped into the clothes that were baggy around her. "You'll make me regret saying no to you."
"But I'm not your kind of guy, so don't go switching up on my behalf," Naruto quipped back with a smirk. "Now, let's go visit Turbo Granny and get the kid's balls back. After that, we'll have a talk about going to dangerous places for stupid bets."
"But I have to do this alone. All of this happened because of what I did. I can't get you two involved. I'll use willpower to make it to the tunnel, and then make it work somehow." Occult-kun protested.
"We're going together and that's final. Besides, it looks like you'll go apeshit again without Momo-chan here, and I'm familiar with Turbo Granny and her antics, so you don't have a choice in the matter." Naruto said with finality and sighed. "I know you're trying to look cool, but that won't mean much if you deal with Turbo Granny the way you are now. You have no chance, and she'll kill you."
"Sounds like you have your own history with her." Momo mused as she zipped up her tracksuit. "She totes took your balls, didn't she?"
"Yes, years ago, but I got them back. She tends to be cooperative when you fill her tunnel with Godzilla's Atomic Breath with no limiter," Naruto said with a sharp, toothy grin. "She only gave 'em back just so she wouldn't have to deal with me anymore."
"Then do that and we'll have Occult-kun's balls back in no time!" Momo cheered.
"Only if it works. I have a gut feeling it won't be so easy a second time…" Naruto muttered before thinking. 'And it's not the only reason Turbo Granny gave me back my balls. Hopefully she's still scared of the fuzzball…'
"Uzumaki-senpai. Ayase-san. Is it okay for you to help someone like me?" Occult-kun asked as he finished putting his clothes back on.
"Of course!" Naruto suddenly shouted dramatically, complete with a head turn towards the possessed first-year. "Why wouldn't we? After all you two just experienced? You're too deep to back out now. So stop being so timid and follow my lead."
"Sorry," Occult-kun grumbled out. "I am an awkward fellow, after all."
"Aren't we all," Naruto chuckled, clapping Occult-kun on his back. "Momo-chan can be awkward too, right Momo-chan? Momo-chan?"
Momo was frozen on the spot, clutching at her chest. 'No way. Why is my heart racing? This can't be. I was just surprised because he happened to recite one of Takakura Ken's lines. That's all. No biggie. I need to calm down now.'
"Earth to Momo-chan?" Naruto chanted, snapping his fingers in her face. "Did your brain get abducted or something? Hello?"
"Ah, yeah, no, I'm fine," Momo said, knocking his hand from her face and forcing a smile. "By the way, what's your name, Occult-kun? I'm terrible at remembering them."
"Or you never asked until now." Naruto quipped wryly.
"Shut it, you!" Momo snapped at him.
As the two bickered, the ship behind them was sparking as more fires broke out, with the ship being close to exploding.
"Oh? Um…" The kid adjusted his glasses. "I'm… Ken. Takakura Ken."
"..."
"..."
The ship exploded, shaking the area as the two fellow students stared at him. The explosion didn't even faze them, as Naruto thought he heard wrong, and Momo was off in her own little world.
"No…way…!" Naruto gaped and pointed at him.
"What?" the revealed Takakura Ken asked in confusion.
"Takakura Ken?"
"Yeah?"
"Could you…spell that?"
"Ta-ka-ku-ra Ke-n?"
"Say it…again."
"Takakura Ken."
"...Show me your Student ID."
"Huh, sure," Ken said, digging into his pocket and handing it to him. "Here it is. What's this all about?"
Naruto took it and gazed at it with Momo staring at it from his shoulder, seeing his picture and that the occult kid's name was truly…Takakura Ken.
The occult kid is named after Momo's movie actor crush, who in his roles, is an awkward fellow, like he is. The silence was deafening, save for the smoldering wreck of a spaceship.
Then, a giggle came, followed by a chuckle, before Naruto began to laugh his ass off at Momo, who looked as if she'd suddenly lost the will to live. Ken looked on in confusion, not getting the reason for his senpai pointing at him and busting his gut laughing, as the blonde had tears in his eyes, sinking and using his fist to pound the ground next to the still shell-shocked Momo.
Needless to say, it was one hell of a start to the newly minted trio, as Naruto's laughter continued to echo throughout the area.
Chapter 01: Of Riders, Balls, and Bananas
Next time - Chapter 02: The 3rd Rider is an Awkward Guy
Notes
Dandadan is a banger series. I'm up to episode 10 as of this writing. The streets say that there's a second cour next year, which I hope is true. I might read the manga.
The streets say this show is set around the 2010s. Perfect excuse to use the Matrix Reloaded phone.
The Kaiju Driver is the Henshin Belt Gavv from Kamen Rider Gavv.
Momo's Driver is the Transformation Belt Ghost Driver.
The trinkets are based off the Eyecons from Kamen Rider Ghost.
The surgery part is from the OG Kamen Rider series as well as Gavv.
Naruto was going to be the sole Rider, but then I said fuck it, everyone in the group becomes some kind of Tokusentai.
Naruto's handler is Kuroko Smith from Monster Musume. Whether I'll have a variation of Men in Black exists remains to be seen.
I enjoyed writing down the part where Naruto was laughing his ass off, because that was me, and it reminded me of that WWE Raw segment where Triple H was busting a gut at Hornswoggle bring Mr. McMahon's "son". I also added some cheeky Fate UBW Abridged dialogue.
Pairings will be Naruto/Momo/Harem and Ken/Aira/Vamola so far. Naruto and Momo has a senpai-kouhai relationship for now.
Special thanks to NorthSouthGorem for the beta, and bringing my attention to the series.
-Planned Masked Dan Riders (names subject to change)
Kaiju Rider ZillaDan - Naruto
Chakra Rider PsyDan - Momo
Spirit Rider TurboDan - Ken
Demon Rider AcroDan - Aira
Possessed Rider EvilDan - Jiji
Released: Monday, December 9, 2024
Discarded Scene (Original idea before pivoting: Vigilante Naruto, Kaiju Otaku, Momo/Okarun wingman)
"That's it! Let's make a bet, four-eyes!" Momo declared, having enough. "You go to a haunted location of my choosing, and when you see a ghost, you have to admit ghosts are real and be my gopher!"
"Only if you go to the last possible sighting of a UFO- I mean UAP, and once you see an alien with your own eyes, th-then you'll have to admit aliens are real and be my gopher!" Occult-kun returned fire without backing down.
They growled at each other, until…
"Kaiju can be proven just like the Masked Rider is, unlike your ghosts and aliens."
"What did you say?!" Mom and Occult-kun yelled at Naruto, who finally walked down the stairs.
"Godzilla. Kong. Caesar. Anguirus. Baragon. Mothra. Shimo. Ghidorah. Megalon. Hedorah. Gigan. Destroyah. Those Titans have torn apart our world with their battle royale for the title of King of the Monsters, which happens to be Godzilla. Ghosts? Just superstition of the human mind. Aliens? Conspiracies to replace reality." Naruto explained, unfazed by their looks as he walked past the bickering duo. "My point is, unlike your precious bedtime stories, Kaijus have been proven fact several times over-"
"I'm going to stop you right there! I've already had to hear nonstop gibberish from this otaku, and I don't need to hear your rambling about giant lizards!" Momo snapped, getting in his face and poking at him.
"Touche, Momo." Naruto drawled in amusement. "How about demons then-
"UFOs- UAPs have been proven like the kaiju, but the American government covered them up!" Occult-kun interjected, showing Naruto a page of his book. "The Japanese government couldn't cover the kaiju all up because of their rampage, that's why it's so easy to believe!"
"Drugs run rampant in America, so they see weird things all the time under the influence. And aliens visiting lil old Japan? Only in tokusatsu, buddy. Not even the Masked Rider fights them. But hey, have fun proving each other wrong tonight," Naruto said, patting them on their backs as he walked past the two. "And if you're both wrong, you two go out on a date."
"No way/in hell!" Occult-kun and Momo yelled at him as Naruto departed, with the two glaring at each other. "Game on!"
"Hmm, I only said that to tease them, but…" he looked back with a smile. "Let's see where this goes…"
