A/N: This chapter may be a bit heavy.

Warning: Some violence, mentions of blood, implied past self harm.

Disillusioned

The feeling of falling, heat consuming him, the fire reaching up to meet him— Hiccup didn't really remember that part, mostly he remembered seeing the Red Death's tail bludgeoning into him and Toothless. However, his dream brought to life the terror of falling into fire, and it was that feeling of falling that had him jerking awake as his head drooped forward.

Hiccup took in a sharp breath of air as he woke to the dim light of late evening. He had stormed off after his fight with his dad and didn't stop walking for a long time, he wasn't sure how long. He had ventured further into the forest than he had gone before, without paying attention to where he was going, finally stopping for a rest when he realized how drained he felt.

The tears on his face had long since dried and he could feel the trails on his cheeks. The swirl of emotions inside had dulled, the anger had faded, and all he felt was... numb.

Not bothering with the effort of making a fire and actually setting up a camp with the limited supplies he had with him— which could inevitably lead his parents right to him if they decided to follow— Hiccup had plopped himself down against a large tree trunk, leaned his head back, and closed his eyes. Waking, when his head had rolled forward and he felt the sensation of falling.

With a shiver, Hiccup wrapped his arms around himself, wishing that he hadn't taken off his armor after their sparring match. His armor added an extra layer that kept out some of the cold. He didn't think he would need to keep it on all the time, since Healer's Island was a safe place and he wasn't flying around with Toothless and doing risky maneuvers. He regretted that decision now. He hadn't even snatched up a blanket or a cloak before leaving. He also hadn't made a fire and didn't intend to. A fire would draw attention to himself and he did not want company.

It didn't matter, he decided. Let himself be cold. He probably deserved to be miserable anyway. Freezing to death wouldn't be a horrible way to go out. He would just fall asleep and never wake again.

Hiccup shook his head and stood abruptly. No. He wouldn't entertain thoughts like that, not anymore. He wanted to return to Astrid and Toothless. He had something to live for, he just had to rough out the rest of his time on this island. The only way back home was the boat.

An involuntary groan of misery escaped him as he started walking slowly through the trees again. Sailing back home with his parents was going to be hel. He briefly entertained the idea of taking the boat home himself and sending dragons back for his parents. But no, he couldn't do that. He wouldn't do that. It would be mean and cruel to strand them here without knowing where him and the boat had gone. He wondered if there was a chance that they would leave him behind and send Toothless and Astrid back to get him. He would be okay with that, even if the place did creep him out a little. He didn't see why they would care either, other than their annoying quest to force him to be a family with them.

Hiccup didn't understand. His dad had stopped caring about him when he had gotten older. Had given up on him and told him to be someone else, but he loved Valka. He and his mom couldn't be that alike, he didn't want them to be anyway. Hiccup was loyal, he stood by the people he loved. He wouldn't ever abandon any child of his, especially not one who was born early and prone to sickness. He loved Toothless, and his dragon would never make him choose between him and someone else he loved, especially not a baby. Granted, Cloudjumper wouldn't have been welcome on Berk back then. However, Valka had just met the dragon and she had been the mother to a newborn son. The dragon that stole her away or the baby she'd given birth to? Hiccup thought the choice was obvious.

No, Hiccup and his mom weren't that alike. Even if he was similar to her good qualities, his dad had still not liked him. Stoick thought that Valka had still been better than him, even back then. He had said as much. She had been tougher, she had still been a Viking. Hiccup was different, like his mom had also been different, but she hadn't been so different that others had looked down on her. She must have been better balanced out than he was. Hiccup must have been too different.

It had seemed like things had changed, though, after they had made peace with dragons. Stoick had told him that he had always loved him, that he had been wrong, and was sorry. That meant nothing now. None of that could possibly be true. Hiccup wondered if his dad had said those things because he felt bad. Because he hadn't listened and that had almost gotten his only son killed. Perhaps it was a mere parental obligation that kept Stoick looking after him and pretending that he did care. The only thing he had left to remind him of his beloved wife.

Not anymore. Now Stoick actually had his wife back and he no longer had to cling to her memory through the son that was never quite what he wanted. So he had tossed that son aside. There was no longer any reason to try and convince Hiccup that he was ever important to him. Stoick had run out of explanations, excuses, and apologies.

Hiccup faltered as he walked, reaching a hand out for a tree to lean on, his other hand clutching at his chest. A sob escaped him.

He wouldn't open up anymore, not to anyone. All it did was make things worse. So much worse. Why had he been so stupid? Hiccup had given in and let his parents convince him that they would help him work through anything that he wanted to talk to them about. He had allowed himself to hope, and that was always a dangerous thing. Hope made things so much worse when they inevitably fell apart.

Why hadn't he just stuck to his original plan? Then he wouldn't be in this mess. Hiccup should have just continued to pretend that everything was okay whilst burying everything deep down. That was how he had lived for so long, that was what worked. Bury it down, suck it up, pretend everything was fine, and move on. Then, eventually, things started to feel like they were okay. He would begin to believe his own lie, only ever doubting every now and then.

If he let people walk all over him, use him, hurt him continually while always needing another chance— then people liked him. Then everyone got along just fine. When he grew tired of that, he could always retreat to Toothless and Astrid, the only ones in his world he believed— knew with all his heart— loved him sincerely.

The plan had been to go back to that, to live that way for the rest of his life. It would be harder to go back to that plan now. Now that he had given his parents an opening into his heart and they had mercilessly stabbed a knife into it.

Hiccup wished that there were dragons on this island, so that he could tame one and return to Astrid and Toothless.

A thought suddenly occurred to him. He and Toothless were linked. Was there a chance... even the smallest chance that Toothless knew that he needed him? Hiccup couldn't sense his dragon friend, even though he had stopped walking and closed his eyes so that he could concentrate. It seemed unlikely.

Watching as Hiccup snatched up his things and raced away, a distraught expression on his face, had been painful. Valka had wanted to go after him, but Stoick had held her back.

"We can't let him go off while thinking that this is all hopeless!" She yelled at her husband, the first time since returning home that she felt a sense of anger towards him.

"We're not going to get through to him if we follow." Stoick said with unusual calm.

"We're certainly not going to get through to him by staying here and letting him run away again! At least if we go after him we have a chance."

"I don't think we do." Stoick answered, looking rather defeated. Valka stopped raging and just looked at him. Now there was something off about her husband too. She couldn't be the only one left who wanted to try and make this family work. If she was... then there wasn't much hope left.

"Do you... do you have an answer for Hiccup's question?" She finally asked.

"Not a good one." Stoick had sat down on the log and he was looking at the ground in shame.

"I know that question took you by surprise, it surprised me too." Valka pointed out. "If you'd had more time to think through an answer..."

"No. There is no answer." Stoick said firmly. "Other than that I was unfair and neglectful to my son."

"I don't believe that." Valka answered just as firmly. "I know you love him." She sat down next to her husband, hoping to make him feel better so that they could both help their son. "There's a reason. Maybe... maybe you just don't want to say it. Maybe it's hard. But, it needs to be said. You need to figure it out and admit to it."

Stoick remained silent, thinking deeply. There were reasons, but none of them good. Reasons that proved just how weak he actually was. How poor his judgement was. How broken up he had been about his wife. She was right, it was hard to admit to them— not to himself and certainly not out loud.

"I..." Stoick started, then closed his eyes and swallowed. "I saw you in him... and it only made the grief return... but so much stronger."

Valka took in a sharp breath of air, trying to hold back the emotions that suddenly threatened to overwhelm her. This was all her fault. She hadn't been there. Her husband had grieved for her and had to take care of their infant son on his own. That grief had affected him and hadn't gone away, not until she had come back. That grief had harmed their son.

"He was all I had after you were gone and I held to him like he was the only thing keeping me going." Stoick continued. Now that he had started expressing the feelings he had been denying for the majority of his son's life, he couldn't stop. "But then... his personality started to really show through, and all I saw was you. I needed him to be different. I needed him to be stronger. I needed him to be safe. I couldn't lose him like I lost you..."

"Stoick... I-" Valka wanted to apologize, she needed to. There were no words to express exactly how sorry she was. She had torn apart her family.

"It's not your fault. Not... entirely." Stoick continued over her. "I had a choice. I could have been patient, like Hiccup said, and worked with him. Instead, I yelled at him, I told him to be someone else, and I made him feel like he wasn't good enough the way he was. I pushed him away when all I wanted was to shelter him from the world and keep him safe. I was afraid to lose him and that's exactly what happened. I've pushed him too far, I made him feel unloved. All because I was afraid and I let my grief influence all my decisions." He stopped to take a deep breath. "And what's even worse? I led my people into following in my actions and did nothing about it. I told myself it was for the best. Hiccup would toughen up and learn. He would survive because I had drilled it in him that he had to kill a dragon to be accepted. He wouldn't be gentle like you. He wouldn't be sympathetic to the dragons and admire them. So, he would be safe from them."

"That worked very well." Valka said, it came out flat, but if she had the energy and the humor, she would have made a joke.

"And I was more furious than I ever was in my entire life, when I found out that he was friends with a Night Fury. How many times had he put his own life in danger?" Stoick thought back to that day in the ring. "How many other people had been put in danger because of his actions? By that point, our relationship was so broken, so non-existent, that it was easy to simply tell him that..." His breath shuddered as he breathed. "That he wasn't my son. I had done that much damage."

"I'm sure you regretted it not long after." Valka tried to assure him. Her eyes were watery, both because she blamed herself and because Stoick looked so broken. She had never seen him like this before.

"Right away. As soon as I had stepped out the doors." Stoick affirmed. "But the damage was done. The words had been said. I had lost my son and then watched as he risked his life to save everyone who had ever mistreated him. I don't deserve a son like Hiccup."

"...neither do I." Valka agreed miserably.

Hiccup had been walking mindlessly, aimlessly, wondering if he would make it to the shore on the other side of the island soon. When he did, maybe he would just keep walking and let the water take him.

No. Toothless and Astrid were waiting for him. He would see them soon and things would feel so much better when he did. A small smile touched his lips at the thought of wrapping Astrid up in his arms and giving her a kiss, of Toothless nuzzling him with his nose and telling him how much he missed his rider and best friend. They could all go flying together, with Stormfly too. He would feel happy again.

The warm and pleasant thoughts came to an abrupt end when he gasped in pain and nearly fell over. His amputated leg throbbed, protesting to being overused. Between the constant exploration over the past couple days, the sparring, and the running and walking since he had left his parents and their campsite. His stump was beginning to get a little sore.

Stupid leg. Stupid people, going and getting themselves in danger. Stupid Stoick for not listening to him and forcing him to take action— which led to the loss of his stupid foot! When would he stop having to pay for other people's mistakes?

Hiccup collapsed to the ground, the intense pain too much, unable to hold himself upright anymore. His fingers dug into the dirt as he grimaced, waiting out the pain, his muscles tensing. What was left of his left calf was cramping up and he let out a gasp and felt his eyes water. His arms gave out so that he was only holding himself up by his elbows, his head lowered so that he was nearly tucked into a ball.

Taking deep breaths, Hiccup waited out the familiar, tense pain. After what seemed like forever, but had only been a few minutes, the pain faded gradually and he was able to relax again. Hiccup hated when his stump bothered him, but it was a part of his life now. He had come to accept it, or thought he had, years ago. Though, the occasional bitterness at his misfortune and loss sometimes got to him.

Hiccup lifted himself up with shaky arms and sat back in a kneel. He wiped at his eyes with the back of a hand and stared blankly ahead. He didn't know what to do and had little motivation to move.

It was probably about time, Hiccup decided, that he settled down and actually made camp. He had no idea how late it was, or early. Looking up at the sky, he figured it was close to morning. He'd been out for a long time now, having slept for a couple hours during that time. Hiccup realized that it had been a while since he last ate and he could feel his stomach protesting at the lack of food.

Hoping that when he made a fire and set up camp, that his parents wouldn't come searching him out and find him, Hiccup walked on to find a good spot.

Looking around, Hiccup realized, that it had been a bad idea to just wander without paying attention to where he was going. He was only familiar with part of the island, having not had the chance to do a thorough exploration and mapping, like he had hoped. He knew that his parent's camp was somewhere behind him, though probably not straight behind him. It was possible that he had veered off, rather than running in a straight line down the middle of the island, though he had probably been close to the center at one point.

Hiccup straightened, realizing something obvious that he had unconsciously tuned out as background noise. He could hear the ocean waves washing along the shore. He was near the shore of the island. Without a second though, Hiccup headed for the sound of the waves. He had, at least, walked the perimeter of the island on his first night there. If he walked along the shore for a while, he would find a dock or some landmark that would help him determine where exactly on the island he was. By this point, the sky was paling with the first beginnings of light, and that would help him too.

As Hiccup broke free of the forest and stepped onto the sandy shores, setting sights on the endless waves, and feeling the ocean breeze, his first thoughts were ones of confusion. Not because he didn't know where he was, he had been in the general area he had assumed he would be. What confused Hiccup, was that there was a ship tied to the dock. A ship that hadn't been there the other day.

It looked like some kind of trade ship, the kind that would often come to Berk, full of goods. Hiccup supposed that Healer's Island was a good resource for a trader who traveled far, to places that might not have access to all the medicinal plants that grew there. However, Hiccup didn't think things added up. The ship hadn't been there a couple days ago, but all the signs that someone had been on the island made it seem like that someone was long gone. He figured, maybe the ship had just docked and the person had just come ashore.

Though, as Hiccup walked closer to the ocean, he could only see faint footprints that led inland, and none that led back to the ship. Someone had wandered into the forest, a while ago, and hadn't come back out yet. That wasn't all that unusual, gathering herbs and plants could take time. What was unusual, was that the ship looked all prepped to go. The sails were catching the slight breeze and causing the ship to rock gently. However, it looked to be abandoned. No one was on deck. The only sign that someone came to land was the walkway that had been extended to the dock and a few ropes that secured it in place, though maybe not for long.

Whoever had come to land, had not intended to be away that long.

Hiccup growled in frustration. This island made no sense to him. Every time he managed to explain away one thing, something else odd popped up. He wanted answers. If he couldn't resolve the myriad of issues he had with his parents, he could at least figure out what was happening on the island.

With renewed determination, Hiccup followed the faint tracks in the sand to the edge of the forest. It wouldn't be easy, but he was going to do his best to follow the faded trail through the forest and confront this mysterious person. He wanted to know what they were doing here, if they had set the trap or knew who did, and if the arrow was theirs. As the chief's son, Hiccup figured he also had a duty to make sure that the people who came to Healer's Island followed the rules and treated the place with respect.

With thoughts of making camp and getting some rest long since dismissed, Hiccup did his best to follow the trail further inland. It seemed that whoever had entered the forest really had done so a while ago, because there were places where Hiccup completely lost any sign of someone having been there and had to explore the area before picking up traces further ahead, or make a wild guess. But he was determined, and the search gave him a reprieve from his emotions and thoughts.

After looking down for so long, Hiccup had to stop and move his head from side to side, feeling a slight ache developing. He'd been at it for a while and the sun had continued to rise, the increased lighting was making the task just a little easier, though it only reminded Hiccup how tired he was.

The previous day had been full of physical exertion and overwhelming emotions and he'd barely gotten any sleep. Hiccup grimaced as his stomach reminded him once again, just how hungry he was. He usually had some long-lasting rations in his satchel, just in case. Hiccup liked feeling prepared. He reached a hand into the bag, narrowing his eyes as he focused on what he was feeling for rather than what he was seeing. When his hand brushed against the item he wanted, Hiccup pulled it out. He had a few pieces of yak jerky in his bag, and it was the only food he had unless he wanted to abandon his search and hunt or fish, or... return to his parents' camp.

Hiccup bit into his measly breakfast while he continued walking through the trees and shrubbery. If he was to be completely honest with himself, he was pretty sure he was on the wrong track by this point, having lost any signs of someone a long time ago. He had made guess after guess, letting himself believe that it was always possible that he had happened to guess correctly, though it seemed unlikely.

If someone was still out there, Hiccup had no idea where they were. With a sigh, Hiccup bit into the last of his food. He still felt hungry and was debating giving up and returning to his parents. He really didn't want to deal with them, but thought that it was about time he told them about the weird stuff happening on the island. Instead of discussing themselves, Hiccup would just be all business. Letting them know that something was wrong on the island, that they needed to discuss the terms of Healer's Island with the other chiefs again, but come up with a way to maintain the place and reinforce the rules.

Surely talking about something like that would be easier for them than trying to dig up past wrongs and tear open old wounds. Hiccup was fine with the idea of covering all of that up and pretending it never happened. That's when things felt normal and he was able to just... be. If things couldn't get better, Hiccup just wanted them to feel normal again. His normal, even if it wasn't ideal, it was what he was used to.

Hiccup turned around and gasped, falling back onto the ground in surprise and fumbling as he scrambled backwards. His heart immediately started racing and he had to force himself to breathe as the shock washed over him. How long had that man been standing behind him?

Eyes wide, Hiccup stared up at the newcomer in horror. He was torn between drawing his sword and taking a defensive stance, or asking if the man was okay and needed help.

The man was covered in dirt and grime, his clothing torn and... bloody. He had scratches and welts on his body. One of his boots was missing. Some of his hair was glued to his head with something red and sticky. His eyes... were crazed. He looked both furious and terrified.

Before Hiccup could even think about what to do and how to react, the man took a step forward, though it was more of a stumbling limp.

"Why..." The man nearly growled at Hiccup. "You sick, screwed up piece of filth!"

Hiccup stood as fast as he could, his hand hovering over his sword, and completely taken aback by the comment. "What are you talking about? What happened to you?"

The man lurched forward and Hiccup bounced back. "You're all messed up in the head! To do this to another person! To my... my friend." For a moment, his eyes became misty and his face contorted in a look of intense sorrow.

"I don't-" Hiccup didn't understand, but when he spoke, the man immediately became enraged again.

"This time, I've got you!" The man growled again and Hiccup saw the glint of metal just in time to draw his sword and deflect a swipe from the man's dagger.

"Wait, I can help!" Hiccup tried to reason with him as he deflected another strike. "Just explain to me what-"

As Hiccup moved to defend himself again the man quickly swiped his hand holding the dagger, back the other way, managing to slice through Hiccup's forearm. With a gasp as a burning pain ran through his arm, Hiccup dropped his sword and clutched at his arm.

"That's for my brother!" The man exclaimed in victory, though Hiccup only distantly processed the comment. Knowing that he had to act fast, Hiccup quickly let go of his injured arm and dived forward in a roll, ducking under the man's arm as he moved in for another strike, and successfully dodging the blow.

Hiccup reprimanded himself. This was what his dad and Astrid were always getting after him about, in regards to his safety. He hadn't been completely focused on the fight and defending himself, because he was too concerned about trying to help and get to the bottom of what was gong on. Now he was down a weapon, his only weapon... his dagger was missing and even if it wasn't, it would be with his armor back at camp. Oh how he wished he hadn't taken off his armor. At least then he wouldn't have gotten sliced by the man's weapon.

Coming out of his roll, Hiccup smoothly transitioned back into a standing position and took a defensive stance. It would have to be fists against knife, then. Or, Hiccup supposed, if he found an opening, he could run. Though, only if he was confident enough that he wouldn't suddenly find a knife in his back as he did so. Ideally, he would be able to recover his weapon at some point.

Watching the man carefully, Hiccup's focus was now completely on the man in front of him and any and all of his movements. He could do this, he had trained. He was stronger now, and more capable. If possible, all Hiccup wanted to do was subdue the man and figure out what was going on. However, Hiccup supposed that he should do whatever he had to do in order to get out of this situation alive.

The man glared him down, moving his arm as if to prepare for another attack. As Hiccup braced himself, taking in the man's stance and following the predicted trajectory of the knife so he could react properly— the man suddenly paused. His expression morphed into one of utter fear before he turned his back to Hiccup, instead focusing on the bushes and trees ahead of him.

Hiccup tilted his head in confusion, though he remained in his defensive position. After a moment, he heard something too. It was a rustling sound, like someone was moving through bushes and overgrown tree branches.

"Curse you." The man whispered under his breath, followed by a string of crazed expletives that surprised Hiccup. This man was not stable. He was insane. No wonder he had left his ship behind in such a state and wandered the forest for who knows how long, probably lost. He wasn't right in the head. Hiccup felt a pang of sadness and sympathy for the man. Whatever had caused him to be this way, had to have been painful. Maybe he had suffered a great loss— he had mentioned a friend, or a brother— and that loss had caused him to deteriorate. The life of a trader could be lonely.

The trader pulled at his hair and limped in circles, in agitation. It seemed as if he didn't know what to do and was panicking. Finally, he stopped, seeming to have come to a decision.

"No... I won't give you the satisfaction!" He yelled into the trees, in the direction of where the rustling sound had come. "I won't let you win!" The man lifted the dagger up high, though no attacker was in sight and Hiccup was standing away and to the side of him.

Not knowing what to do or what the man was trying to accomplish, Hiccup watched as the man brought the dagger down in an arc... toward himself.

Hiccup flinched and turned away, hand blocking his view even though his eyes were shut tight. He let out something akin to a sob as he heard the man collapse to the ground. What had just... why...? He should try to help. It could still be possible to help the man.

Slowly, Hiccup lowered his hand and opened his eyes. He had seen people die before, had seen them injured. But this... he didn't want to look. His breath was coming in shuddering breaths at the shock of what he'd just witnessed. He didn't understand. Hiccup could have helped him. Why had the man done that? He felt dizzy. This whole situation seemed so surreal... so random. How could this all be happening?

Hiccup glimpsed at the fallen man out of the corner of his eye. It didn't look like there was anything he could do. A wave of nausea hit him and he swallowed. His head spun. His arm was wet... and it stung. He should do something about that.

The sound of rustling caused Hiccup to jump and become more alert. He'd heard that before, it had made the man upset. It wasn't safe here. Hiccup didn't know why... but he suddenly felt exposed and in danger. When the sound came again, Hiccup ran without a second thought.

Unable to sleep while worried about their son, Stoick and Valka had sat silently, staring into the fire, late into the night. The dinner preparations had been abandoned, neither feeling very hungry as they mulled over all that they had discussed. They had failed their son, had let their own problems affect him. They had made terrible decisions that their son was now paying for. Hiccup had every right to be upset with them, to not want anything to do with them.

The night had been long and stressful. Both wanted to know if Hiccup was okay, but knew he would want some space and time to himself. It had been decided that come late morning, they would go look for their son. Neither moved to ready themselves for bed, instead dozing off as they leaned against the log, next to the fire. Their sleep was fitful and uncomfortable. Morning couldn't come soon enough.

Eventually, the sky began to brighten and Valka was tempted to force Stoick to go with her then, to look for Hiccup. Surely their son had had enough time on his own by this point. She lifted her head from leaning against the log as she saw her husband move to tend to the fire, just as restless as her. They met eyes for a moment, both seemed to be thinking the same thing. They were worried, neither wanted to wait any longer.

Before either of them could say something, a crashing sound in the trees had them both standing up in alarm, looking around for what had startled them.

"Hiccup? Is that you?" Stoick asked, though he inched toward his weapon. There shouldn't be anything dangerous on Healer's Island, other than maybe a few wild animals.

In answer, Hiccup came sprinting out into the open, falling to his knees, then collapsing to all fours in exhaustion, and panting hard. He hadn't stopped running, taken over by adrenaline and fear, until he had made it back.

"What happened? Are you okay?" Valka raced over to her son and knelt beside him. Hiccup didn't answer though, too busy trying to catch his breath and calm his heart. His head felt all foggy. His body was sore. Everything seemed like too much and he couldn't make sense of his own thoughts.

Stoick remained where he was, bracing himself for any danger that might appear behind his son, but no other sounds or signs of movement followed.

"What do you need? What can I do?" Valka asked, really wanting to be able to calm her son and figure out what had happened. "Are you hurt?"

Hiccup shook his head as he managed to catch his breath. He was on his hands and knees, looking at the ground once he finally opened his eyes. It seemed odd to him, that for all his parents had done to him, he had still run right back to them when he had thought he was in danger and had experienced something upsetting.

"Hiccup...?" Stoick stopped keeping watch, deeming themselves safe for the time being, and stepped closer to his son. He didn't think Hiccup would want him to come any closer or try to comfort him, not after their last conversation.

Slowly, Hiccup lifted himself up so that he was kneeling, then had to close his eyes as his head spun. How had he even managed to get back to camp? His mind was a jumble of thoughts and he couldn't think straight. He felt dizzy again, and nauseous. The memory of the trader's last moments replayed in his head and he let out a sound of distress.

"Hiccup..." Valka gasped, moving a hand to her mouth. When Hiccup finally reopened his eyes and looked at her, he didn't understand the pure look of shock, horror, and sorrow that she expressed. He narrowed his eyes in confusion, she didn't know what had happened... did she? No, she hadn't been there with him. "What... what did you do?"

Stoick was staring too, more in disbelief than anything, being faced with the reality of something he did not want to believe to be true. The truth hit him hard and had him reeling. He could deny it no longer.

"...what?" Hiccup asked, feeling unsettled by his parents' reaction. "I didn't..." He hadn't done it, the man had taken his own life. Wait... they didn't know about the crazy trader, so what was she talking about?

Valka moved forward, no longer holding back or giving her son the space she had thought he needed. She gripped his right arm so she could examine it. "Why would... do you know how dangerous this is? This isn't the answer."

Hiccup looked down at his bloody sleeve, non-comprehending. The man had swiped at him, he recalled the burning sting of the dagger's blade. "The dagger..." Hiccup wanted to explain, but he found it hard. He had been distracted, had wanted to help, not fight. He'd been unable to dodge in time. "I couldn't... I couldn't..."

Hiccup wondered if his dad would lecture him about being more careful and less reckless. He thought about how his mom had gotten after his dad for letting his concern show itself as anger. Was that what his dad really did? Was there really concern hiding under the anger and frustration? His dad looked concerned now. More than that, he looked distraught and scared.

"Oh, Hiccup." Valka used the hand not holding onto his arm to cover her mouth. Was she crying? Hiccup shook his head, trying to clear his fuzzy thoughts. He was feeling rather lightheaded. As he looked back down at his arm, he realized how much he must have bled out on the run back to camp. "I'm so sorry... we did this to you."

"No..." Hiccup scrunched his face up in confusion, they hadn't injured his arm. "It was something else."

Taking a deep breath, Valka tried to reign in her emotions. Her son needed her. She needed to tend to his wound. She needed to let him know that he could always come to them when he was hurting inside, that he didn't need to do this to himself. "Stoick, get me the medical supplies."

Stoick acted immediately. Hiccup was looking pale and seemed out of it, but Stoick was thinking that things didn't quite add up. If Hiccup had harmed himself in the past and Stoick had never known it, then his son must have taken care to hide it. Why would he hurt himself and then come running back to camp, the evidence on his arm right there in the open? Unless... he had different intentions this time. What if Hiccup wanted more than to just distract himself from the emotional and mental pain? What if he and Valka had pushed him too far and Hiccup had decided that... that he was done? What if he had decided to end things, but then couldn't go through with it? Hiccup had just said as much... that he couldn't. Could that be why he came running back so frantically? Stoick couldn't think of any other reason for Hiccup to be in the state that he was.

"Stoick!" Valka urged her husband to hurry. Hiccup had let his head fall to her shoulder and he was leaning against her for support. The adrenaline had worn off, the blood loss and physical exhaustion were taking their toll. Stoick hurried back, worry evident on his face.

Hiccup felt himself being laid back, his head resting against something soft. His satchel had been removed from around his shoulder. He was still conscious, but barely. He felt dizzy, so he let himself relax on the ground as he heard movement around him. He knew at least, that his parents wouldn't physically harm him and he felt safe enough in their presence. He just didn't think he could trust them with his thoughts and feelings.

A rising feeling of anxiety made it's way through him as it suddenly occurred to him that he wasn't wearing his arm bracers. He hadn't been wearing his armor. He could feel someone fussing with his arm, trying to push his sleeve up. Hiccup didn't want that. A feeling of alarm made him jerk his arm out of his mother's grip. "Don't..." He managed to say groggily.

"Please hold still, Hiccup." Valka's voice sounded gentle and patient. "The bleeding looks to have nearly stopped, but I need to clean the wound."

"I can..." Hiccup tried to get up. He would do it himself. If they saw the evidence of past injury on his arm... they would ask questions. He didn't want them to ask questions. He didn't want them to know. "Don't."

"Lay back, I've got it." Valka spoke more firmly this time, trying to get her son to cooperate, but Hiccup only became more distressed.

"Stop, let me..." Hiccup struggled. He could take care of himself. He would tend to his own wound. They never had to know. He had his arm clutched to his chest, preventing anyone from seeing it.

Hiccup's breathing came heavier as he struggled, and he was hit with how tired he was. He never stood a chance as big hands— that had to belong to his father— gently but firmly pulled his arm away from his own clutches, and held him down by his chest. Squirming did nothing. Trying to pull his arm back was useless. Hiccup's father was stronger and he was determined to make sure that his son was taken care of.

Both Stoick and Valka were startled as Hiccup nearly growled at them and struggled harder, they had never seen him like this before. The struggling continued as Valka rolled up her son's sleeve as much as she could, though his struggles did nothing against Stoick's strength. As soon as Hiccup's arm was exposed, however, he froze. Hiccup became tense and his breathing became raspy. He kept his eyes shut tight and turned his head away from his mom.

"It's okay, Hiccup." Valka tried to soothe. "I won't hurt you. I'm just going to take care of you, alright?"

As she wiped away the dried blood, she and Stoick finally saw the marks they were sure Astrid had been referring to when she had confided in them. Valka had to take pause and breathe deeply before continuing. Stoick couldn't help but look away. They both felt the prick of tears in their eyes and a pain in their hearts.

Hiccup was horrified by the situation. There was nothing he could do as his mom tended to his arm, exposing the dark secrets of his past that he wanted to hide away forever— to be seen by no one. He hadn't been in a good place back then and he doubted anyone would ever understand. All he could do was keep his eyes closed so he could avoid the disappointment, anger, and disdain he was sure he would see on his parents' faces. The only means of escape was to retreat into himself. Eventually... he fell into a deep sleep.

A/N: Thanks for reading! I appreciate all reviews, faves, and follows! I've been working on a lot of different stories lately. There's more to come for "What Lies Beneath," "Hiccup," "Skipped Over," and even "Snoggletog Showdown," as well as a couple new stories in the works! I appreciate all the support for my fan fictions!

JakaPen: Wow, thank you! Those were such nice compliments. Stoick and Valka really haven't been the greatest parents, that's true. I think Hiccup would feel rather unloved by his mom since he now knows she chose to stay away. As much as Hiccup loves dragons, it can't feel good to learn that your mom chose dragons over you. Thanks for the wonderful review and I hope you continue to enjoy the story!

Silver Sentinel: Stoick and Valka assured Hiccup that he could share whatever was on his mind, but they didn't consider that they might not have a good answer for him. I think Hiccup wants to know why things ended up the way they did for him, but the answer turned out to be painful. You bring up a very good point, Hiccup was raised with the idea that he would be a leader of Berk one day. Stoick was trying to mould Hiccup into the chief he wanted him to be, not the one Hiccup could be on his own.

Romantica 123: Thank you so much! I do write a lot of angst, haha. Hiccup hasn't gotten around to confronting his mom about how she abandoned him, you're right. There are still a lot of things they need to sort through and address. There's still plenty of emotional moments and angst to come! I think you're right, Valka ended up doing more harm to Hiccup than Stoick did. Stoick was at least there and tried to change after almost losing his son, and maybe things could have worked out well for them. But then Valka shows up and changes the whole dynamic. Suddenly Hiccup isn't imagining the perfect mother that he never met, instead he has a mother and she is far from perfect and even stayed away intentionally. That realization would be jarring. Stoick too must feel slightly betrayed but also so happy to see her alive. So many emotions to write about! I hope you enjoyed this new chapter, I even posted it on time too!

omega13a: Thanks! And oh goodness, you're absolutely right. I remember that line, though when I first watched the episode that line didn't make sense to me. I was like, way to over exaggerate, Hiccup, you only knew about Johann's treachery for a day or so before your dad. Your interpretation of that line makes waaaaay more sense, haha. Why didn't I think of that? Maybe Valka just didn't put two and two together? Why would she associate the pleasant, polite Trader Johann she remembers with a Johann who was fighting with Hiccup and trying to steal a Bewilderbeast egg? I'll do what I can to remedy that in the future, if or when I get the chance. Thanks for bringing that up!

Robbie Street: Hey! Thanks for the review! Hopefully your first week of school went smoothly for you. I try to update on Mondays/Tuesdays, though this chapter isn't a very good one for raising someone's spirits!

Animation Adventures: Haha, yeah, things didn't work out all that well at the end of the chapter. I feel like the story tends to go in the opposite direction of what you comment you like about the previous chapter. I promise that's not on purpose, haha, a lot of what's to come is already mapped out or partially written. Hiccup does have some things he wants to address, that have been bothering him, but Stoick wasn't prepared to answer for his inconsistency in the treatment of his wife and son. It seems Hiccup and Toothless' link is strengthening. Eret and Amethyst will make a great addition to the Dragon Riders.

KN Hudson: I wish the movies had shown more of Hiccup being a capable fighter on his own. Whenever he's in trouble he just shouts for Toothless. There is an episode of RTTE where Hiccup and Astrid spar, and Hiccup is really good! I think by the second movie he would have some impressive fighting skills. You know, I've planned out part of a story where Valka and Hiccup run into each other in an episode of RTTE. Someday I'll have the time to write it! Hiccup's question to Stoick really is at the heart of the matter, at least between them. For Valka and Hiccup, the matter they need to address is how she could have picked dragons over her newborn son.