A/N: I think I've been getting better at description. I remembered to account for Original Hidan's scythe and tail in this chapter, anyway.

...And that's all I feel like saying. A good sign, right?

So then. Enjoy.

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Konan

Konan had expected that having more people from her world around to help would reduce her workload. That might eventually be true, but for now, the opposite was happening. She was a lightning rod. Everyone wanted something to do with her - the clones still needed her to act as their leader, Nagato and Yahiko needed her to educate them about the clones, and Hidan needed to be babysat. She no longer was inclined to enjoy his company. When Hidan sought her out, she shot him a look that stopped him in his tracks. "Hidan. I'm afraid I must be curt with you. If you wish to enjoy my company as you would like, you must find some way of controlling yourself. Otherwise, I am very likely to start seeing and treating you as a bratty child."

"What's wrong with wanting to have a little fun around here?" he pouted.

Konan closed her eyes. She had a demonic child to interview. She did not have time to waste. But for Hidan's sake, she made a little room. If he was like a child right now, then he ought to be shown how to grow up. Nobody ever learned anything from being shut out. "Hidan, you are an agent of the gods. You are used to being the sole such agent, and therefore having all of your input be very much needed. But in this world, there is much less need for your services. You are going overboard, pushing a system that already contains significant amounts of 'fun' into disorder and chaos. You must learn where you are needed and where you are not." She realized something that made her feel conflicted inside. Her conflict, in turn, upset her. I do not want to feel conflicted about his company. I want to enjoy it. I don't want to lose the joy I've always felt with him! "Come with me. I am on my way to speak to a being of great knowledge. You must speak to him and others like him to learn what the current balance of divine powers is."

Hidan obediently followed her out the lobby doors. She worried that he might continue to act in troublesome ways. But he did not. Perhaps, despite his initial lack of reaction, he had in fact understood that her warning was serious. Perhaps he was simply reading her body language right now. She chastised herself mentally. I must not forget that even if he acts childish, he is in fact a grown man. And though he does not have the same powers as his clone, there is a reason why his clone could have such powers without going insane. If someone totally and completely unobservant were to develop empathic powers, they would be driven mad. The vast change to their way of life would break them. Hidan was not broken, because developing such powers was not so vast a change. His original has the ability to read the emotional state of others. Just because he does not often use his abilities does not mean he lacks them. I must not forget that.

"So, are Leader sama and that other guy dating, or what?" Hidan asked. They were halfway up the road. She only had time to answer him with a few short sentences. His question was not as invasive as it sounded; in this context, he could not expect her to provide him with intimate details. He was only probing to see if his question was acceptable or if he was crossing a line.

Was he crossing a line? That depended on his reasons for wanting to know. "Is that any of your concern?"

"Well…" He huffed. She had her eyes on him and her people-reading ability fully engaged. She didn't miss a thing. His huff was not one of arrogance, but rather a way to conceal unease. He felt vulnerable.

"I see. You and your clone have many tastes in common."

In a grumpy mumble so quiet most would have failed to hear it, he said, "At least Leader sama's not a pussy ass."

Konan stopped. The hospital was in view, so if she had kept walking, she could only have said a few more words. She wanted to say much more. "Hidan. Yahiko, Nagato and I have long dreamed of a different world. My advice to you is this: if you wish to win over any of us, the most effective strategy would be to adopt the behavior of the clones. Discard your old ways. We only learned to live with the old ways because we had to. Secretly, we always longed for the openness and vulnerability that is possible in this new world." She resumed walking before he could respond. She expected this demand to upset him. It would be best if he took time to think it over.

The demon boy met them on the grounds. He sat crosslegged on top of a bush. "Heyooooo."

"Hidan, this is our demonic neighbor. He typically is nameless, but if you really must use a name you can refer to him as Overflow. As for you, this is Original Hidan." With the introductions thus performed, she stepped back. Hidan must develop the ability to negotiate with demonic beings. This is his part, not mine.

Hidan studied the boy. "Demon, huh? You're not much like the tailed beasts."

"There are different kinds of demons," the boy replied, sitting upright and adopting the vocal pattern of a lecturer. "Most people call anything and anyone with powers that they're scared of 'demons.' Said scary powers can be normal powers, just way stronger, or they can be strange powers that people get scared of just 'cause people fear anything they don't understand. I have both kinds of powers. They're strange and they're super strong." He reverted to his usual childlike behavior, vibrating with malicious glee. "I can do all sorts of things to you! And you won't die from any of it! Haha!"

"Hey, fuck you, kid!" Hidan snapped, reaching for his scythe. "Try a single goddamned thing on me and you will regret it. Asshole."

The demon boy continued to giggle. Does he actually intend to do things to Hidan, or is he simply enjoying Hidan's reaction?

"Any-fucking-way." Hidan took his hand off his scythe and crossed his arms. "I'm here to find out about the local balance of gods."

"Oh?" The demon boy looked surprised. He must not have been spying at that crucial minute. "Oh, okay! Whatcha wanna know about?"

"Konan tells me my usual services aren't needed. There aren't any pretentious dickheads around here who need reminders of what matters. There's already plenty of fun and action and shit like that. Nobody's too comfortable. So what am I to do?"

"Have you met that guy with the rings in his eyes?"

"Yeah." Hidan rubbed the back of his neck and winced.

"Aw man! He was someone who was too comfortable, but you already got to him. Who else?" The demon boy thought hard. "That guy's too comfortable, but he can't be broken out of it by this kind of power, so he doesn't matter. That other guy is also too comfortable, but he also needs a different kind of power. That guy's fine… So is that one… Oh! I know!" His eyes lit up. "The guy who thinks too much! He's too comfortable. Having all his thoughts stopped makes him nervous. You can go to him, stop his thoughts."

Hidan growled. "So there are a few people who need my services. I shake them up, and then what? Then what do I fucking do?"

"I dunno."

"Ahem." Konan stepped forward. "You referenced a couple of people who require a different kind of power. Did you mean Amita sama's power?"

"Yeah. Nice name, by the way."

"Perhaps in addition to bothering the few people who need it, building a relationship with Amita sama would also be helpful. It seems the two forces are allied."

The demon boy nodded. "Good idea. It'll get ya closer on the author project, too. More influence."

Hidan tilted his head. "Huh. Why is Amita sama so damn similar to this hypothetical author?"

The demon boy pouted. "I don't know! Grr. I hate not knowing things."

"Jashin sama is an imported god from our world," Konan said quietly. "Amita sama appears to be a new invention. That could mean that the author simply thought it would be interesting to have more than one god in the setting. Or… Perhaps Amita sama is a representation of something real. A real deity that genuinely possesses influence over the author."

"I thought Amita sama was an author avatar, but your idea works too," the demon boy chirped.

"Either way, there's a facet of this author project that has a lot to do with religion. My department." Hidan grinned. "Hehe. I got this."

"I recommend finding out more about Amita sama first," Konan said with a smile. "Itachi is already influenced by the rest of the clones. By the time you get around to him, his overthinking problem might already be resolved."

"The nice guy is…" The demon boy closed his eyes and tilted his head, as if listening to distant music. "Trying to meditate. Ugh. Super boring. It's in the backyard."

Hidan needed no further instruction. He turned and ran back down the street. Konan watched him go. I am sad that he is gone. Good. The conflict is resolved, just as I wanted. All I needed was for Hidan to find his purpose. She smiled and wondered how he would fare. Then she remembered what she had come to interview the demon boy about. After what she had just learned, it seemed unimportant.

Obito

Zetsu was very good at being a bubble of peace. Yahiko and the dolls felt just as peaceful as Obito did. The dolls sat limply like normal dolls. Yahiko sat with his eyes closed. Something about the way he sat drew Obito's attention. The masked man could not have said why, but he was convinced that Yahiko was doing more than mere meditation. He couldn't help but think of the day the dolls died, how Yahiko had seemed to be listening for a distant sound. What is he listening for?

There was no way to know how long they were like that. Zetsu photosynthesizing, the dolls sitting, Yahiko listening, and Obito watching Yahiko's face. The self-consciousness that normally would have struck did not come. Obito didn't realize there was anything unusual about his actions. He watched Yahiko openly, curious and unafraid of being curious.

Then Original Hidan showed up. "Kid wasn't kidding. Super boring. Do you fuckups seriously enjoy sitting around?"

Zetsu glared at him. "It's called enjoying a moment of peace," Black Zetsu snapped. "Or 'resting.' Do you know that word?"

"Resting makes me tired. I don't like it. Anyway, shut up Parsley. I need to grab Other Sunbeam."

"My nickname is Sunshine," Yahiko said.

"Pff. So generic."

"We are out of here," Black Zetsu declared. They folded their leaves, grabbed their clothes and stood up. "Come on. I can think of another place to photosynthesize."

Obito reflexively started to stand. But what was he listening for? This thought stopped him. Did he actually want to go with Zetsu? For the first time ever, Obito was unsure. He didn't know what to do. I should go with Zetsu. But…

"O-o-or not," White Zetsu added hastily. They picked up the pace, disappearing around the corner. Obito still didn't know what to do. The way that Zetsu left before he could make a decision was simultaneously reassuring and frightening. Ambivalence meant paralysis. I… I guess I'm just going to do nothing…

Other Hidan chuckled menacingly. Obito wished he could summon the strength to go after Zetsu. What shameful weakness was preventing him from doing that? He was putting himself in danger, failing to do what he knew he should do, and all for no reason. What's wrong with me?

"What do you want?" Yahiko asked. The dolls continued to sit limply, but they looked up at Hidan.

Hidan sat down, laying his scythe on the grass and curling his tail around his legs. "What's Amita sama's deal?"

"Benevolence," Yahiko replied.

"Yeah, yeah. Nice things, healing, all that. But, like… What's her deal?"

"I don't know what you're asking."

Other Hidan growled and took a moment to think about it. "Well I don't fucking know what words'll make you happy," he decided. "Just answer the question!"

"Um… Well… It brings peace and stillness to whatever it touches."

"Can't help but notice that's the total opposite of what Jashin sama does."

"Yeah. They're like opposite poles of a magnet. But they're also weirdly similar? I remember feeling like… Like I had to take action in order to fix something that would create disturbance. Like a stream? Jashin sama's the stream, always moving, and Amita sama's like someone sitting by the stream, and if the stream gets a rock in it that disturbs the flow they'll move it. No, they're not weirdly similar. They're different in what they are, but they agree with each other! Yeah, that's it."

Other Hidan looked unhappy. His left ear flicked. "Agree on what? What the hell does she do? What's the point?"

"The point is to find peace," Yahiko answered. "You know, to keep everything going well. A dynamic sort of peace."

"Yeah, yeah, where's the rest of it?"

"The rest of it?"

"This is a god you're talking about. What are the rites? Rituals? Shit you have to do?"

"Um, there aren't any."

"Bullshit."

Yahiko blinked. "What?"

"I said, bullshit."

"I'm literally the expert on this. How are you saying that?"

Original Hidan raised his head. "Don't get too proud of yourself. I'm the one who's an expert on gods and religious stuff. And I'm saying that it's never that simple. You don't get to have special powers by being just like everyone else. You have to do something that sets you apart. Makes you different. What have you done that makes you different?"

Yahiko blinked. Clearly, he had never been asked this question before. "Uh… Nagato's known me since I was a little kid. According to him, I've always been different. Some kind of special aura, the way I looked at the world, just… A lot more innocent and kindhearted than anyone else." Yahiko looked down. "Granted, he's not a neutral judge of my character… Huh. What is it that makes me different?"

"If you don't know, then you haven't gone through it," Other Hidan snarled. "And if you haven't gone through it, how can you claim to have the favor of a god?"

His sneering look made Obito angry. Obito had only felt an urge to step up to protect someone else a number of times that could be counted on one hand. He liked it. Moments of anger were a brief chance to gasp at fresh air, a quick glimpse of the aboveground world, a taste of freedom. All too soon, the chains he normally wore would return, but for the moment he was a normal person. A normal, unchained, unbroken person. What a wonderful thing to be. Obito clenched his fists and sat up as straight as he could, facing Original Hidan head-on. "Maybe he doesn't know how he earned a god's favor because he's gone through so many things that he can't tell which of them is responsible."

Original Hidan laughed and shook his head. "No, there's a special feel to it. You know."

"What sort of initiation ritual did you go through?" Yahiko asked.

"To the outside world, it was a weekend. To me, it was hundreds of years of worse and worse agony that finished up with a slooooowwwww and torturous experience of being dead and feeling my body rot."

Obito and Yahiko stared at him with their jaws hanging open. "Oh my god!" Yahiko exclaimed.

"After that, I got my scythe. I had a dream showing me some basics of what to do with it, and the rest was instinct. Like I was born for sacrifice." He grinned in a way that showed far too many teeth. "I'll ask again. What have you gone through, Sunshine?"

Yahiko continued to stare. "...Nothing like that."

"Then your so-called connection to Amita sama is nothing more than a fluke. Probably just one of those tricks writers use to make shit happen."

Yahiko hid his face. From personal experience, Obito know he had tears in his eyes, though they could not be seen. Obito understood how devastating those words were, on a level beyond what language could express. His heart clenched in sympathy. He told me how wonderful it felt to bring them back, how powerful he felt and how he didn't want to give up that power. How can Original Hidan take that from him? So cruel…

Original Hidan shrugged. "Seems like Konan was wrong. There's nothing 'real' going on here."

Power… Obito felt tingly all of a sudden. Shivers raced up and down his limbs. He recognized this feeling; sometimes it preceded a switch. But as Yahiko sniffled and hid his face, as Original Hidan stood up and clapped his hands free of imaginary dust, no switch occurred. Agh! Is that a leaning sensation? The pressure on his mind lessened a bit, but didn't go away entirely. Obito gulped. He had to do something. If he didn't act, who knew what the invisible tormentor inside his mind would do to him?

"S-stop."

Original Hidan paused midway through a turn. He turned back. "What now?" he asked. His voice was bored, dismissive. He regarded Obito as little more than an annoying pest.

What can I say? What can I do? Obito stood up slowly, buying himself time to think of something. "You… You don't have the right to decide what someone else has experienced."

"You heard him. He said it himself: he hasn't experienced anything suitably godlike."

"Maybe it's different for different gods. Or it's different between worlds. You don't know."

Original Hidan growled. "We're not talking about fucking architectural styles here. Surface level shit can change between worlds, but gods are deeper than that. You don't understand what I'm even talking about. If you did, you wouldn't say such stupid things. Shut your damn trap."

Obito sobbed. Hidan's words hurt, but more than that, something deep inside Obito's heart hurt too. "You don't understand everything."

"I'm outta here." Hidan turned away.

"It was all taken away. It was gone, and I had to get it back."

Original Hidan stopped walking. He looked back, just enough to see Obito from the corner of his eye. "What're ya talking about?"

"Everything," Obito said through tears. "How to walk, how to eat, how to see. I had to relearn all of that. Everything from before - it disappeared. The place I used to live in, my old school, my mom… It was like being a baby again, but I was twelve. You have no idea…what it's like…to have your whole life ripped away. It… I…" He started to sob, and this time he didn't stop.

"Parts," Yahiko exclaimed. He leaped up and put an arm around Obito's shoulders. "Itachi says we're parts. Maybe the part with a god's favor is separate from the part that earned it."

Obito had no idea what Yahiko was talking about. He just stood there, his whole body hidden behind various layers of concealment, crying for the things he had lost. Rin… Mom… My house… That little rock I found on the beach once… My favorite tree… The short-sleeved clothing he used to wear. The face he used to show in public. The two eyes he used to practice rolling. I kinda sorta managed to roll my eyes, but I didn't really get the hang of it. Now I never will. Seeing-eye puzzles. Unknown athletic activities that weren't safe with compromised vision. Driving! And everything that driving might bring him. It wasn't just what I had that was taken from me. It was also what I might have. My whole entire life, past present and future, all of it - it was taken. He felt like he was grieving someone dead. He always had.

"Obito!" Yahiko circled around to give him a hug. Obito clung on for dear life. I'm sorry, Rin. I'm so sorry!

Zetsu

Did we do the right thing, leaving him back there?

Yahiko and the dolls were there. Original Hidan won't be able to try anything.

Yeah, you're right.

They were now trying to photosynthesize in the front yard. As a public location, it would not have been their first choice, but their discomfort with nudity was really just discomfort with other people's discomfort with nudity. Now that they'd seen a representative sampling of the craziness that Deidara's group had to live with, they didn't expect anyone to be uncomfortable with mere nudity on the part of a plant person. After bringing people back from the dead, taking off a pair of pants was stupidly trivial, no?

"Of course," someone said with a sigh. It turned out to be the guy with the weird eyes that could turn red. "For all of my ideas, the simplest and most well-known solutions elude me."

"What are you whining about, and why are you looking at us like we're responsible?" White Zetsu asked, feeling hurt. We didn't do anything!

"I've been feeling quite upset for several hours, I know from repeated past experience that going outside and sitting in the sun helps soothe me, and yet I only just now thought of it. I feel stupid. As well as other things." He sat down near Zetsu. "Do you mind if I…try to figure out life by your example…?"

Zetsu didn't even remember his name, but he looked upset and in need of rest. "Uh, sure."

They sat in the sun for a nice long while, not speaking. The depressed man continued to look depressed. He clenched his fists sometimes, as if fighting something that could not be seen. "Would a candy bar help you feel better?" White Zetsu eventually asked. "There are one or two left, I think."

"No. A candy bar will not free me from my own thoughts, nor will it resolve the question of whether or not I want to be free." He sighed again.

"You're not doing it right," Black Zetsu growled. "Photosynthesizing isn't about thinking. Stop thinking so much and just feel."

"I either don't want to or can't follow your instructions, and that makes me anxious."

"Then go play a video game or something. You're wasting our time."

The man looked hurt. But he did as asked, leaving them alone once more in the grass. Finally! Now we can have some peace and quiet.

But as they sat there, wrapped in their bubble of peace and quiet… It was peaceful, yes. Restful, yes. It was also lonely. Their leaves connected them to the world at large, but their human side wanted more. They hadn't spent such a long stretch of time alone in more than a decade. Huh. I thought we were used to this. But it feels funny.

Perhaps we got used to having someone else around who was also outcast from society.

I don't actually remember what it was like to not have even one human being to talk to.

Has that damn energy infected us? I feel antsy. It's unnatural for a plant to feel antsy.

I think we just miss him. All this time, we've been looking after Obito. But maybe we need him too.

Black Zetsu mentally growled. I thought talking to the forest plants and figuring out our role would fix that!

Is our role really to go back to how we used to be? Are we supposed to live alone again? I remember enjoying that life, but Ani, I don't want to go back to it.

What else can we possibly do? We can't dive into the insanity that infests the humans here. We have to stay apart for our own safety.

This far apart?

For a plant, they had too many questions. For a human, they had too little ambition. They sat outside the base, neither here nor there, not any one thing in particular, wondering where their home was. It hovered like a ghost, just over their shoulders, just beyond their reach, promising things that they couldn't quite hear. Is it just me, or do you have a feeling like we should know exactly what we're supposed to be doing?

It's not just you. We're missing something obvious. I know it, but that doesn't help me figure out what it is. Grr.

Nobody else came to speak to them for the entire time that they spent in photosynthesis. They did not have enough experience with the Akatsuki to realize how unusual that was. They didn't know that something was wrong.

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A/N: Neither did I, but I needed something good to end this chapter on. I guess we'll find out what's wrong next chapter.

Happy Thanksgiving! Enjoy time with your family, whether you get state-sanctioned time off or not!