A/N: I've decided. This story will be deleted a week after the final chapter posts.

Now then.

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Konan

Konan's mind whirled. Original Nagato took it all in stride, or seemed to. He expressed relief that they finally had a clear parameter by which to measure the success of their mission. Konan nodded along, but secretly was anything but relieved. If being unwritten is exactly like being off-camera, then we would still continue to exist. We would be happy. But what if that is wrong? What if the two are not at all alike? Perhaps we could continue to exist for a time, but as our author forgets us we fade out of existence. Is that even a bad thing? We are not real people; we are tools. We don't have the right to a steady and enduring existence. We were made up all at once and can disappear just as suddenly. There would be nothing wrong with that. Yet, I feel so much like a real person. I don't want to cease to exist. I don't want to die.

The meeting concluded swiftly. Clone Hidan pulled her aside, which was exactly the same thing Original Hidan tried to do. The two versions shot looks at each other. "What is it?" Konan asked, turning to Clone Hidan.

"Moonlight wanted me to remind you that today's Friday. Dog training day. He thought you might wanna visit."

Being around animals sounded perfect. Konan turned to Original Hidan and bowed her head once. "If what you need is urgent and quick, I can try to attend to it before I leave. Otherwise, perhaps another time."

Original Hidan hissed. His tail swished back and forth. "So they're demanding morons, too."

"We are not morons!" Clone Hidan retorted. He crossed his arms. "Just because we're friendlier than people from your world doesn't make us morons."

"You call it friendly, I call it wimpy."

Konan escaped from them as fast as she could. She was not up to mediating other people's squabbles right now. All she wanted was relief, escape, the sort that came from drowning herself in warm fuzzy fur and forgetting about all her human concerns for a while. Mindlessness. I want mindlessness. Tears threatened to come. In my old world, I was used relentlessly and then thrown away by an author who only cared about conflict. This new world is much kinder, but it is no less relentless.

She was wrong.

Yahiko

"Hey," he said sternly. "There is power and strength in refusing to fight. Sometimes fighting is the coward's way out."

"See, that's the thing," Original Hidan retorted. "You moron clones refuse to fight just reflexively, because you don't see fighting as an option. That's not strength."

"In the beginning, we did," Clone Hidan said graciously. "But now, we've come to realize that we accidentally did just the right thing. We're ready to fight now, but there's no need to, because all of the everything-but-fighting we did before actually fucking worked."

"As if I believe that shit!"

"After the roughing up Moonlight gave you, you don't? Now who's the moron?"

"Guys," Yahiko pleaded. I hate it when people fight!

"Ow!" Original Hidan looked down and hissed. Samehada had bitten his leg. There was no blood, but even so, her teeth were pointy. Now that she had his attention, the shark released his leg and growled at him, pointing her tail down the hall.

"Great idea, yeah!" Deidara said. He grabbed Clone Hidan's arm. "Hey man, can you give me some advice on how to not freak out that we might all stop existing?" He unsubtly pulled Hidan's arm in a different direction.

Clone Hidan huffed. "Fine." He went with Deidara to a completely different part of the base than the part that Samehada herded his original off to. Yahiko took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Okay. That's a solution, I guess. But I thought… From the way that Hidan and Konan always talked about him, I thought Original Hidan would be more like a brother. Instead, they're at each other's throats.

"Ahem." Yahiko turned around to find the two originals looking at him. Original Nagato tilted his head. "Is something very important happening now?"

Yahiko blinked. "Uh, I don't know. I have no idea where Konan went."

"He means, 'Do you have somewhere you'd rather be?' If not, we'd like to talk to you," Original Yahiko said with a smile.

"Oh! No, I don't. What do you guys want to talk about?"

They went back to the sunroom, since it was nearby. They sat in the folding chairs again. "Hidan gave us a report on a significant event that occurred yesterday," Original Nagato said. "You were also present. Tell us your version."

Yahiko felt very uncomfortable. Yeah, we often have crying meltdowns in public areas, and yeah, we all support each other. But it's, like, contained. We never talk about those events after they're over. Not in detail. "Well… Other Hidan wanted to know how I'd gotten whatever it is that I got from Amita sama. He wasn't satisfied with my lack of an answer and said it was probably just a writing device, said that I didn't deserve… Uh, w-whatever it is. Anyway, Obito stood up for me. He told Other Hidan that you can't judge someone else's past as if you understand it. He wasn't there, he didn't live it, so he shouldn't have been saying all those dismissive things. Other Hidan was still dismissive and mean, told Obito that he didn't know what he was talking about and should just shut up. Obito, he… He started talking about his own past. His past is really sad. It's the sort of thing that you wouldn't expect from looking at him. Like, he seems just to be a shy person. You'd never know he had all that tragedy behind him. The stuff that Original Hidan was saying, it must have really resonated with him, set him off."

"According to Hidan, there was much more to this incident," Original Nagato said. "Didn't you understand what he was asking about?"

I do, but I don't want to be talking about this. "I did," Yahiko muttered.

"What's wrong?" his original asked.

Yahiko shrugged. His face was red and he couldn't bring himself to look up at them. "We never talk about big, crying emotional moments after they happen. I mean, we might say that they happened, but no description. No detail. This feels wrong."

"Why, then, did you focus on that aspect of the incident?" Original Nagato asked.

"I don't know." Yahiko wrinkled his brow. "I guess… A god's favor… I don't like to talk that way. It feels like I'm exaggerating how important I am."

"It's not exaggeration," his original said soothingly. "We've felt it. We're alive because of it. You really do have the ability to access a tremendous power."

"But what if he was right? You guys being alive - that's exactly the sort of thing a plot device would be used for."

There was silence for several moments. Then Original Nagato said, "You believe him."

"...Yeah."

"Even after what Obito said?" Original Yahiko asked. "According to Hidan's report, you realized from his testimony -"

"I don't want to talk about this!"

Yahiko took as deep a breath as he could manage. He forced his eyes to open, his face to unscrunch, his shoulders to lower. Tears came to his eyes and threatened to spill over. "I take what people say about me seriously. I just do. It's been less than a day. I need time." He got up without waiting for permission and left the room.

Original Yahiko

"Twice is coincidence. Three times is a pattern." Nagato stood up. "Something is wrong."

Yahiko stood too. "Itachi, your clone, now my clone. Why are they fighting us? They promised to help with our mission."

"Perhaps our methods need revision. Perhaps the one who assigned us this mission is having second thoughts. Perhaps some unexpected factor is blowing everyone's plans to pieces. Either way, we must find out what is going on and adapt."

"To find that out, we'll need an informant," Yahiko said. "Who can we ask? Itachi doesn't seem reliable anymore. Neither is my clone."

"Let us seek a reliable informant, then," Nagato muttered.

Yahiko felt bad for him. Having a mission to perform had comforted Nagato. I'm not blind; I can tell there are things that happened after I died that he's not telling me about. They upset him. Having something to do to keep his mind off of them was helping. I must get this mission back on track. "Let me lead," he suggested with a playful smile. "I'm really starting to understand how these clones think."

Yahiko led the way out of the sunroom, to the intersection, and down the cross hallway. They found Deidara and Clone Hidan talking to Obito near the game room. Or trying to; Obito wasn't saying anything, and the other two clones looked baffled and sad. Yahiko's instinct was to back off before they could intrude. But Nagato took his hand, stopping him. "We need informants," Nagato whispered quietly. He led the way. "Excuse me," he said to the clones. "We need reliable informants to question."

"About what?" Deidara asked.

Yahiko touched Nagato's hand, stopping his friend from speaking. "We need someone who won't be upset by our questions," he said. Focus on feelings; they don't care about missions. Focus on what's immediately relevant; they are easily distracted by extraneous information. Focus on practical stuff; abstract ideas hit them hard for some reason.

"Sasori," Clone Hidan and Deidara said at the same time. They looked at each other. "Sasori's literal role in our group is to be the stable one who doesn't get upset by stuff, yeah," Deidara added.

"Thank you." Nagato nodded once, then turned away. They left the trio of clones to discuss whatever sad and confusing thing they had been discussing. In the safety of their own room, the two of them sat on their respective beds. Nagato rubbed his forehead. "We need more than one informant. We cannot wait half a day until he returns from his job."

"The clones gave us a strong clue, though. There are members of the group who don't get upset by anything ever. Even if they aren't at the center of group activities, at least they'll be reliable."

"Kakuzu, then," Nagato said.

"Konan, if we can find her. Where did she go?"

"Potentially Kisame, but he has the same problem as Sasori does."

"Well, we can start with Kakuzu. He might have gathered useful information."

They found Kakuzu in his room writing in a notebook and swearing under his breath. He looked up at them with a glare. "Guess what I've learned." He closed his notebook and tossed it aside. "Sasori isn't remotely surprised or bothered. He was extremely surprised that nobody but him had accepted the inevitable end of our story. I can't believe I had to tell him that the rest of us have been a little busy living our goddamn lives and not thinking of ourselves as fictional characters. And Itachi wasn't responding to the group chat, so I had to call him. He told me he was busy and asked if I wanted him to do a lot of thinking. When I said yes, he refused!" Kakuzu picked up his notebook in order to throw it across the room. "What the fuck is going on around here?!"

"That's what we're trying to find out," Yahiko said. Yes! At least one of the clones has noticed! We don't have to solve this mystery all by ourselves. "We tried to question Itachi earlier in the morning. Partway through, something happened. He suddenly started talking about the uselessness of words, how there are certain kinds of ideas that can't be communicated in words. Then he walked out on us."

"So it's not just a momentary thing. He's entirely on the fritz." Kakuzu looked around, probably for something else to throw. "Great."

"Yahiko's clone did the same thing. Cooperated with our questioning for a short while, then refused to talk any more and walked out," Nagato said. "My own clone made plans that will interfere with our goals. When informed of this, he did not even consider changing them."

Kakuzu was taken aback. He narrowed his eyes, growing still and thoughtful. "Something really is going on. It's not just Itachi." He tapped his fingers on his knee. "Sasori might know what it is. But he's at work right now. That's why you're talking to me, isn't it?"

Nagato nodded. "Have things like this happened before?"

"Yes. Recently. There was a dinner meeting where most people were feeling grumpy and actively wanted to avoid meeting. As I recall, the situation was resolved by several members commiserating over their unresolved traumas."

"Separately?"

Kakuzu blinked, momentarily confused. Then he shook his head. "No. Konan used the group chat to order everyone to attend, so there was a meeting held even though half the group didn't want to be there. Nobody says no to that girl."

"Could Konan order people to answer our questions?" Yahiko asked.

"Yahiko."

"It's strictly hypothetical," Yahiko assured Nagato. To Kakuzu, he asked, "Could she? And how? And why would that method work?"

Kakuzu thought about it. "Describe to me again what your clones did." Yahiko did so. "Hmm. Konan rules by force of will. She has very clear ideas of what she wants and how to get there, and we don't. That night, when many people agreed they did not want to meet, that was the only firm plan they had. They didn't have specific ideas of some alternate activity to do instead. That's how she was able to take control." He sighed. "This sounds different. Itachi and your clones did, and do, have firm intentions. Their will is as strong as hers now. She can't overrule them."

"You are saying that the clones' willingness to obey orders relies on their lack of discipline," Nagato paraphrased.

Kakuzu tilted his head. "Refusing orders could be a good sign."

"Well, our help is still needed," Yahiko said.

Kakuzu chuckled. "You can still help us, all right. As training dummies."

"No," Nagato said. "Proper discipline includes following orders. This is the opposite of that."

"Proper discipline in your world, maybe," Kakuzu retorted. "In this world, obeying others without question is a sign of weakness. Everyone is expected to develop their own inner morals and obey those, at the expense of others and even themselves if necessary. If this group is finally developing discipline, its members won't listen to you anymore. They'll listen to the abstract principles inside their heads."

Nagato looked tortured with confusion. "That is…backwards. Young children who have not yet learned discipline skip lessons, tell secrets to people they shouldn't, run off to places they are not supposed to and do things that no one asked them to."

"Young children who haven't developed their own standards imitate whatever their parents do, conform to the popular kids, and accept even the most horrible things if adults tell them it's okay," Kakuzu replied.

Kakuzu and Nagato stared at each other, two cultures warring. Yahiko could understand both sides. Young children were horribly vulnerable to indoctrination. But at the same time, their open hearts allowed them to consider ideas that would never occur to adults. "Both of you are right," he said. "There is no conflict."

"Of course not," Kakuzu said. "Young kids do everything he just said they did."

Nagato shook his head slowly. "Children might imitate their parents, but that imitation is a false one. A very young child who behaves well does not understand virtue and vice. Their behavior is surface-level; they don't understand why they are acting as they do. Invariably, this lack of understanding shines through. Imitation without understanding is always clumsy, poor, seen through."

Kakuzu nodded. "We've always done as she ordered. But anything that she didn't explicitly order did not happen, and if she gave standing orders, they'd stand for a week or less before being forgotten about. As you say, our imitation of the system of discipline she modeled for us was crude at best."

Nagato looked thoughtful. "Interesting." That's something important to think about. We don't need to ask any more questions right now. As one, Yahiko and Nagato turned towards the door. No signal was required.

Back in their room, Nagato sat on his bed and focused intensely on his hands. "Inner morals," he repeated in a murmur. "Lack of clumsy imitation. Urge towards true understanding." He tapped his fingers on his knee. "Perhaps it's reversed. Instead of surface-level behavior that lacks true understanding, perhaps what they have now is true understanding that lacks an appropriate surface. Teaching proper expressions of their inner morals may work. In order to do that, we must learn what their morals are."

"And conform ourselves to them," Yahiko added. Nagato looked up at him. "Teachers and students mold to each other. If that's our role now, then we can't expect to boss the clones around as if we're the experts on everything. We must learn too."

Nagato nodded. He got off his bed and stood. "Let us gather information. While we do so, convince each clone to meet over dinner tonight. That will be a test. If this new strategy really is an effective way to persuade the clones, then we should have little trouble."

.

Yahiko had to fight to stop himself from smiling. The new strategy was working well so far! They had questioned every clone that was currently available. This was Kakuzu, Deidara, Clone Hidan, Obito, and surprisingly, Itachi. Itachi had not gone very far to sing songs to the dolls; he was just down the road, on the hospital grounds. Once they learned that, an invisible signal traveled through the air between the two of them. They made an addition to their plans.

"Accuracy of information," Itachi replied. "I would say that is my strongest inner moral."

That explained why he had refused to risk distortion. "Understood," Nagato said. "Now then. We have a twofold purpose in visiting everyone. Learning your values is the first. The second is to announce that we have a very important meeting planned for tonight. This will be the first meeting in which we ask your group to gather together all of your observations in order to track the focus. If not everyone attends, we will develop incorrect ideas of how the focus moves."

Itachi nodded. "I will be there."

There was another reason why Yahiko had to stop himself from smiling. While Itachi and Nagato discussed important business in formal and serious tones, the whole time, one of the dolls was twanging away on Itachi's guitar in a frenzy of disorganized sound. Yahiko lost the fight. He burst out laughing. The sonic frenzy stopped as all the dolls looked up at him. He put a hand over his mouth as a last-minute damage control measure, but truthfully didn't feel guilty in the slightest.

Itachi laughed, too. "The dolls are very entertaining, aren't they?"

Yahiko removed his hand. "Which one is that?"

"That is Warlic, the rambunctious one." Itachi twisted around to face the doll. "Warlic, what are your inner morals?" The doll raised both hands straight up in the air. "They raise their arms anytime they are happy about something or about to perform an action. I think in this context, he means to say, 'fun.'"

Nagato knelt down, studying the dolls more closely. "And the others? You there - what are your inner morals?" The doll he pointed to had a big yellow dot on its head. It jumped. "You?" The next doll had a red star on its forehead. It looked at Warlic. Several seconds passed until Nagato realized it wasn't going to do anything else. "And what about you?" The third doll had started plucking blades of grass. It held up a pile of grass blades that looked unnaturally identical to each other.

"Solis is unclear. He joins in on many different kinds of activities that seem unrelated to each other. I don't know him well enough to translate. I'm sorry. Manta and Little One are much more obvious. Manta values loyalty; he serves as Warlic's shadow. And Little One values order."

"How can they have values?" Nagato asked, not taking his eyes off them. The dolls looked around. The one with the yellow dot - Solis - approached Nagato.

"I might be wrong," Itachi said. "All that I know for sure is that they have characteristic repetitive behaviors. They might perform those repeated behaviors for some other reason. Since I am human, I am biased towards seeing habits as evidence of underlying values."

Solis reached out and poked Nagato's nose. Nagato drew back. "They are deserving of further study," he said, getting to his feet. He turned away and went back to Yahiko's side. Yahiko nearly burst out laughing again when he saw Solis follow! The little indeterminate doll who did a little bit of everything stayed right on Nagato's heel. "What is amusing?" Nagato asked.

"You have a new best friend," Yahiko said through a jaw-busting grin.

Nagato looked down. Solis looked up. Nagato's jaw tightened. "Itachi."

"I have no control over them," Itachi said. Translation: you're on your own. I'm going to watch you squirm. He picked up his guitar from Warlic's lap and strummed the strings in a significantly more rhythmic way. Warlic waved his arms. Itachi began to play an active 2-step rhythm that had Warlic on his feet and jumping in no time.

"You may be able to command them," Nagato said to Yahiko.

Yahiko was conflicted. On the one hand, Nagato doesn't like them. On the other, I disagree with him. I think they're adorable. What do I do? "Give him a chance! He's not getting in your way." Nagato was not happy to hear that, but he didn't protest.

"Okay, let's get this over with," said an unknown voice directly behind Yahiko. The music stopped. Yahiko leaped forward, turned around and drew a kunai all in one swift movement. He lowered the kunai when he saw that the voice belonged to a child. It was a little boy with spiky white hair held back by a headband, dressed in dark clothes and wearing a mask over his mouth and nose. How did he get behind me?

"What…?" Nagato's voice was faint and wispy. Yahiko looked to his right. Nagato's jaw hung open before he remembered to close it. It was shocking to see him openly surprised in public. Yahiko returned his eyes to the mysterious boy. Who is he?

"Nah nah," the boy said, waving a hand at Itachi. "No intros. I wanna see what they do." Itachi and the dolls looked on. The boy looked at Yahiko, then at Nagato, then back again, waiting for them to do something.

"Who are you?" Yahiko asked.

The boy slumped. "Uggghhh. I hate that question. It stinks. Do something else!"

Yahiko had never encountered someone who refused to identify themself when asked. He had no idea how to respond. He hoped Nagato would take over.

"What are you?" Nagato asked.

The boy began to giggle in a hair-raising way. "Heeheeheeheehee!" He levitated straight up into the air, turned to shadow and wrapped around them as a series of dark ribbons. In the blink of an eye, he took human form again, clinging to Nagato's back. "Hahaha!" Then he vanished. "Buzz buzz." Nagato and Yahiko turned to find him patting Manta's head.

"You're the local demon," Yahiko realized. I should have known. Konan told us this abandoned hospital was his territory. "What do you want to get over with?"

"The stuff you were planning," the boy said, as if it was obvious. Manta walked away. The demon boy remained in a crouch, staring up at them with too-wide eyes.

"You read minds?" Nagato asked.

"Yup. I also watch a lot of things, and I can kinda sorta see the future. You're forgetting someone important, someone it's not smart to forget. You're not gonna know what I mean by that until he catches you." The boy grinned.

Nagato kept his composed face on and restrained his chakra, but Yahiko knew he must have been very annoyed. "Do you have any inner morals? If so, what are they?" This was the addition they had made to their plans. If the clones represented the being that had designed the entirety of this new world, then presumably, any strategy that worked on the clones should also work on any other inhabitant of the new world.

"Mehehe," the boy giggled. "Not gonna make it that easy!"

"I see." Nagato said that in a final way. "We shall depart, then."

"Hey!" the demon boy yelled, suddenly outraged. He leaped to his feet. "No you don't!" He raised his hands, and suddenly Yahiko and Nagato found themselves inside a twisted miasma of colors. It was like looking through water; they could see the familiar greens of the hospital grounds, the blue of the sky, etc., but every shape was distorted. Only the demon boy was clearly visible. "Better," he declared. Shivers ran up and down Yahiko's back. As long as the demon spoke and acted like a child, he was easy to talk to. Standing straight and speaking seriously, as he did now… Not so much.

"What do you want?" Nagato asked in a low, threatening voice.

"Entertainment," the boy replied. "Go on. Do something interesting."

"We don't take orders from you."

The boy tilted his head and smiled.

Yahiko's stomach flipped. Doesn't Nagato remember how powerful this kid is? We should not anger him! Yahiko did the first interesting thing that came to mind, which was turn around and pick up Solis. The doll stared into his face, relaxed and unbothered. Now what? The only thing that Yahiko could think to do was something silly that he normally would never do. We can't afford to waste time and energy on dignity, he told himself as he placed Solis on top of his head. The doll somehow grabbed his hair and maneuvered itself to sit on the back of his neck in a way that definitely involved magic. I take it back. Nagato's right. These dolls are creepy. How is it playing with my hair when it doesn't have any fingers?!

The demon boy giggled. Yahiko's desperate move had worked. The uber powerful being was pacified, at least for now.

Nagato didn't hide a shudder. Yahiko looked away. I know he's not looking so disgusted at me, but rather at the doll on my head. It doesn't matter. I still don't want to see that look on his face. Yahiko reached up and removed Solis from his head. He was afraid that the doll would resist, but it didn't. Solis let him put it down on the ground, where it looked around calmly.

The demon boy held his hands out. An illusory doll that looked just like Solis appeared in front of him. The symbol on its forehead morphed into Little One's green circle, then Warlic's blue X, then Manta's red star, then finally disappeared, making it seem as if one of the supposedly nonliving dolls in the game room had decided to come to life after all. "Oh, that's a good idea!" the demon boy exclaimed. Yahiko flinched. No! Stop thinking! Too late; he'd already envisioned the demon boy using his powers to make the entire group of nonliving dolls march on Nagato like an army of blank-faced toddler-sized zombies. The demon boy burst out laughing and let the illusion disappear. The distorted light also resumed its regular path, allowing them to see their surroundings clearly again. The boy rolled on the grass, chortling. "You guys are so much funnnnnnn!"

Yahiko shot Nagato a fearful look. We're outmatched! Retreat! Nagato nodded very subtly, his face paler than usual. As one, they turned and ran.

.

A/N: Yeah, I have no idea.

Anyway. Next week, same time.