Sixty-Eighth Spell: Emotional Pains
Upon hearing Shinjiro Tanai's name, Popuri-dono sighed. "Such a poor boy, that Jiro! To be cursed from birth as an Inugami, then to lose the girl he was supposed to marry. He was a frequent visitor of the Healers' Wing just like you, but I didn't know him very well."
"From what you did know of him, do you think…he would have killed my mother?" Haru asked.
"No," Popuri-dono said firmly. "He loved Kiku more than anything in the entire world. And even if he did align himself with Warumo-uragi as the rumors claim, he would never bring himself to kill her."
Haru let this information sink in and left the Healer's Wing after Popuri gave him the omamori charm he threw across the room. Later that night, he traced over his dragonfly birthmark with his finger.
"Now that I know more about this mark, I'm not sure if it's a blessing or a curse," Haru mumbled to himself. "It's supposed to protect me, but it also causes me pain. And if it really is affected by my emotions as Popuri claims, how can I keep these emotions in check when I can't even control them?"
"Can't sleep?"
Startled, Haru looked to his bonsai tree and saw Heshi's white serpent form almost glowing in the darkness.
"Yeah, I've got a lot on my mind," Haru confessed.
"Is there anything I can help you with?" Heshi asked.
"Just an ear to listen to—or not, since snakes don't have ears."
"But I'm not a normal snake. I'm a uwabami, so I can hear everything you say no problem."
So Haru told Heshi all about what happened at the play, Popuri's diagnosis, and the confrontation with Hikari.
"Losing your own identity and becoming someone else does sound creepy, even if it wasn't real," Heshi said after Haru finished talking. "But as long as you're still you, that's what ultimately matters."
"And that's the problem," Haru complained. "I don't really know who I am."
"Which is a bad thing?"
"Maybe not in of itself, when you put it that way. But for me, it matters since my real parents were affiliated with an evil wizard, who not only killed my fake parents but seems to be using magic to manipulate me."
"To do what?"
"I don't know and that's the problem!"
"Hey, Ryuji!" said a kid in the bedroom Haru shared. "Keep it down, will you?"
"Sorry," Haru apologized. After a moment of silence, he whispered, "I'm worried I might be destined for something evil, and what happened at the play might be proof."
"No, it didn't," Heshi argued. "If the play was make-believe as you claim, then it can't reflect reality. And if our actions were decided by our parents' actions, I would've just eaten you instead of befriending you. My mom often bragged about the various creatures she fought before eating them."
"You got a point." Haru sighed. "I had hoped joining the Mabuki Theater Club would help me get my mind off this stuff, but I guess I was wrong."
"What happened at the play shouldn't prevent you from 'getting your mind off this stuff,' assuming that's a good thing."
"It is for the sake of my mind, which needs its own kind of healing that isn't the same as physical healing. Maybe I should talk to Wan-sempai tomorrow about whether I should stay in the club or not…."
"You're thinking of quitting the Mabuki Theater Club?" Otoma Wan exclaimed after Haru told her what he was thinking.
It was the Sunday morning and they were sitting together at the Byakko table.
"Not exactly," Haru clarified. "But after my botched performance on Friday—
"Don't let Friday night's performance be the deciding factor!" Otoma insisted. "Remember that story I told you about my first performance?"
"Yeah, but—
"No buts!" Otoma put a finger on Haru's mouth to shut him up. "If you're going to blame anyone, it should be me."
"I was the one who volunteered to be Akaji's understudy, though," Haru pointed out.
"True. But since you're a newbie to this whole theater thing, I should've known better than to thrust something that big onto you."
As Otoma adjusted her blonde wig, Haru was left speechless from Otoma's apology.
"Still, I was impressed by how well you portrayed Orochimaru," remarked Otoma. "You've definitely got some acting chops!"
Haru found it ironic that Otoma didn't interpret his performance the same way he did, but was strangely relieved that she didn't think of him as a freak after what happened.
"Sadly, Dōmeki-sama wants to postpone Jiraiya the Gallant till after the Quidditch exhibition match," Otoma grumbled. "And she doesn't want you to play Orochimaru again, even as an understudy for Akaji."
"Did she say why?" Haru asked.
"I didn't really get it myself. She was very vague about why she made the decision."
Though Haru was tempted to ask Dōmeki himself, a part of him already guessed the reason she didn't want him in the play anymore. She probably feared Popuri's speculation on Warumo using kotodama to control Haru was indeed true, and what happened to Haru at the play seemed to prove that. Haru clenched his fist at the thought, which seemed to make his chest hurt slightly.
"When you were taken to the Healers' Wing, I noticed you were wearing an omamori charm around your neck," Otoma said, getting Haru's attention. "Is it still there?"
"No, I took it off," Haru admitted.
"How come?"
"It wasn't working."
"Are you sure? Let me see it."
Begrudgingly, Haru took the omamori charm from his robe pocket and put it on the table. Shifting the charm between her fingers, Otoma closed her eyes.
"The charm's effect has definitely weakened, but it still works," Otoma said after her eyes opened a few minutes later. "You just need to keep wearing it and believe in its effect."
Haru blinked in amazement. "You could tell just by touching it?"
"I dabble a bit in Divination, though it's not my strong suit," Otoma said. "But what I have learned is that things like charms are not a cure for one's problems. They do help, but they're not going to fix everything."
"So I shouldn't rely on it?"
"All I'm saying is if you think it'll help you, then keep wearing it. Otherwise, I would figure something else out to fix whatever is bothering you."
To be continued…
