Starring Sae Niijima in: AITA?, Haru Okumura in: Off My Chest and Makoto Niijima in: True Off My Chest.
Trigger Warning: Non-graphic discussion of implied past attempt of sexual assault and murder.
[10/01, The Present Day - Evening]
[Haru Okumura The Ghost Robbers]
[Haru Okumura: Very well.
[Haru Okumura: I can understand your reasoning for not telling us about your sister's palace.
[Haru Okumura: However, I'll have to be frank. You shouldn't have gone into her palace alone.
[Haru Okumura: Again, I can understand, and have deep sympathy for your feelings as someone in your exact situation.
[Haru Okumura: But, that doesn't change the fact that what you did was absolutely unbefitting of someone in your position.
[Haru Okumura: I know I am the newcomer here, but I joined this team with the premise that we would all help each other
[Haru Okumura: That we could all trust each other after you guys sorted out your issues with Mona-chan.
[Makoto Niijima: …
[Haru Okumura: And please, don't take this the wrong way, but if your motives for not telling us were to not seem selfish, you achieved the opposite result.
[Haru Okumura: Firstly, you didn't trust any of us, then put yourself in danger, and since you accidentally exposed yourself, you have compromised every single person in this chat.
[Haru Okumura: If not for Mona-chan, you could have gotten seriously hurt.
[Haru Okumura: And I don't exactly have the details of how he got there in the first place, but be grateful that he did.
[Haru Okumura: Secondly, we don't have much time left to change my father's heart. He is getting worse by the day.
[Haru Okumura: And if we get any other setbacks, it is very likely that my life will be ruined, so excuse me if I'm feeling hurt by your choices.
[Haru Okumura: As your peer and your fellow third-year, I must say: I am very disappointed with your actions.
[Alibaba: Yooo Haru, this is kinda harsh…
[Haru Okumura: I know, and I don't care. Makoto of all people should have had more sense than this.
[Bonehead: Dude…
[Makoto Niijima: You're right.
[Haru Okumura: Yes I am, but I also understand I am totally overstepping as the newcomer in the team here.
[Haru Okumura: But again, I don't care. I only say these things because I hold massive respect for you as a person.
[Haru Okumura: And while we weren't really friends before I joined the team, I always looked up to you as our Student Council President and my classmate.
[Haru Okumura: There. I got that all off my chest.
[Makoto Niijima: Thank you for being honest Haru. I'm sorry I hurt you.
[Makoto Niijima: I apologize deeply for my actions, and like I said, I will take full responsibility for them.
[Makoto Niijima: I will resign any co-leading activities I perform for the team since I am clearly no longer suitable for that position.
[Makoto Niijima: As for being a member of the team, I will leave that decision to everyone else as well. I will step down as a Phantom Thief if you guys say so.
[Ann T: Out of the question, nobody is kicking you out.
[Fursona User: Indeed. While I am a bit disappointed with your recklessness as well, you are still a valuable team member. I do not wish to see you part ways from us.
[Bonehead: We stick together man, you ain't going anywhere!
[Alibaba: You can't leave us, nuh uh. Also you are the MVP, If you stop doing our tactics they are gonna toss that job on my ass too, yikes.
[Haru Okumura: In my opinion and in the short time I have been with this team, there is nobody better suited to prepare our tactics and co-lead other than you. I see no reason as to why you shouldn't continue.
[Makoto Niijima: Are you guys certain of it? I understand I have completely broken your trust, I don't want anybody to feel forced to keep me here against their will.
[Haru Okumura: Nobody is being forced. And I don't want you to take my words and interpret them as a complete dismissal of your role and importance in the team.
[Haru Okumura: I truly believe we need you, and I'm sure the others agree.
[Fursona User: Yes, I definitely agree. We want you here.
[Bonehead: Hell yeah!
[Alibaba: Don't even have to ask!
[Ann T: Yuppp!
[Makoto Niijima: I really don't deserve you guys…
[Makoto Niijima: Thank you guys, thank you so much. I promise to be better.
[Ann T: Fantastic! Now can we PLEASE get along again, that was a bit too tense!
[Alibaba: Yeah Haru that was too brutal
[Haru Okumura: It's called tough love, Futaba-chan~
[Makoto Niijima: I am actually really grateful for your words Haru.
[Makoto Niijima: Your sincerity is very important to me, and I promise to work to earn your trust again.
[Makoto Niijima: Everyone's trust, really.
[Haru Okumura: I'm sure you will do that in no time Mako-chan.
[Makoto Niijima: Thank you.
[Makoto Niijima: Um, where is Ren-kun? We didn't get his or Morgana's opinions…
[Alibaba: Must be at one of his 300 jobs or something
[Ann T: Don't worry about Ren, I doubt that he of all people would have issues with you sticking around.
[Makoto Niijima: I guess so…
Ren leaned back and massaged his neck. He had just finished the full accounts of their adventures up until the latest palace, Okumura.
Of course, he heavily edited out the names of his friends and confidants, but it was clear that Niijima seemed to quickly catch on to the things he didn't say.
"So you see Niijima-san, this is where we are now. I've told you all I know."
"This... Black Mask. Do you know who they are?"
Ren and Morgana shared a brief look, and the boy hesitated.
Did he have enough proof that Akechi was the black mask? That pancake comment was the only evidence that Akechi might know of the metaverse since he overheard Morgana.
But being aware of the metaverse didn't necessarily mean that he was the mysterious murderer.
"You know something, then."
The boy ran a hand through his fluffy hair. "I am not sure if it is something. That is the problem."
"Then, why don't you tell me, and let me be the judge of that?" The silver haired woman prompted, her eyes narrowing.
Ren merely shook his head. "I don't have enough evidence. And I have been accused of a crime I did not commit, so I'm not gonna throw this information out without being one hundred percent sure ."
Sae gave him a reproachful look.
He crossed his arms. "...Or at least, without trusting you enough to know you will be impartial with it."
"Why are you so adamant on keeping such information to yourself?" Sae retorted, a little venom in her voice.
"It's not only that I don't trust you, but also that I can't trust you to not rush out and act on this information. This individual has killed people. If anything happens to you because you decided to poke at a hornet's nest, Makoto would never forgive me."
What was Amamiya playing at? How could she trust his justice when he wishes to keep her away from such a crucial piece of information?
The very piece of information that could end this farce and help her catch the true culprit?
For months, her hatred of the Phantom Thieves hinged on the assumed knowledge that they performed the mental shutdowns. That they killed and maimed all those people.
Including someone dear to her.
But the moment she found out Makoto was a Phantom Thief, deep down she knew it couldn't have been their fault. Her sister would never kill someone.
And the silver haired woman refused to entertain that very notion, because she helped raise that girl and if that were true, Sae would be utterly crushed and destroyed.
So as a result, she felt lost, adrift, and maybe a little angry since she was made a fool of, for months.
She had to know just who did it. It was more than just some prideful wish to finish these cases.
Sae owed it to her sensei.
But, Amamiya's words also made sense, in a twisted way. Wouldn't she indeed rush to catch the criminals? Her thirst for justice and maybe vengeance would be too high for her to act clear headed if she knew the truth right now.
The woman gritted her teeth, but decided to drop the matter for the time being. She would pursue this topic later.
"Then, what now?" The prosecutor spoke, crossing her arms defensively.
"Now, you tell me what exactly happened at your palace, and we go from there." He said evenly.
The woman bristled. "I think you are overstepping. Again."
"Not at all. What I'm asking is more than fair. I put all the cards on the table, aside from the black mask situation, which I did for a good reason. Now, you do the same."
She narrowed her eyes.
"Fine."
[Ryuji Sakamoto Makoto Niijima]
[Ryuji Sakamoto]: Hey Prez
Ryuji Sakamoto]: I wanted to ask something
[Makoto Niijima: Of course, Ryuji-kun
[Ryuji Sakamoto]: So your sister has a persona now, right?
[Makoto Niijima: Um, yes?
[Ryuji Sakamoto]: Nice, is it badass!?
[Makoto Niijima: I honestly don't remember much. The shadows were too strong, and they, uh
[Makoto Niijima: Kinda beat me up, so… Yeah. I just remember it looking like an angelic figure, really.
[Ryuji Sakamoto]: Damn, that's cool!
[Ryuji Sakamoto]: I mean, the persona part
[Ryuji Sakamoto]: Not the getting beaten up part
[Makoto Niijima: It's okay, I get what you mean.
[Ryuji Sakamoto]: Hey look, Haru was angry as eff back there, and I sorta get her.
[Ryuji Sakamoto]: I was a lil pissed off at you too
[Ryuji Sakamoto]: but it passed real quick cos I know you were hurting and stuff so
[Ryuji Sakamoto]: I want you to know that I got your back man
[Ryuji Sakamoto]: Anything u need for reals ok?
[Makoto Niijima: Thank you Ryuji-kun, I truly appreciate it.
[Ryuji Sakamoto]: Also take it easy, eat plenty of protein, and get well soon!
She shook her head as she chuckled at Ryuji's enthusiastic well wishes and how sweet he was being. Everyone used to make fun of him and treat him as an idiot hothead, but the truth was that Ryuji was very sensitive to others and he always looked out for his friends.
He had been one of the first in the group to warm up to her directly after Kaneshiro, even if she was a bit stern with him during exams.
She promised to herself to go easier on him going forward.
"So your shadow was really that nasty, huh."
Sae looked away regretfully.
"I didn't know Makoto had uncles. I thought you were her only guardian."
Ren threw her a cold look, then shook his head. "Her only option."
Sae gritted her teeth. "This goes way beyond what you think. You think I would just leave my sister? My uncles might care about her, but still, she is my sister."
"And yet you continued to mistreat Makoto. And kept guardianship of her, for selfish reasons."
"Amamiya, this is my last warning." She gritted out, ready to strangle him.
"Palace or no palace, I know for a fact I would never call my own sister useless, or say that she eats away at my life." He replied coolly.
The woman paled at the reference of her own stupid words to Makoto. She clenched her fists in a mix of anger and regret.
"That- She told you about that?"
"She did, albeit it took a bit of gentle prodding for her to open up. And in my opinion, no amount of struggles on your part justify those things you did and said. You have to see where I'm coming from."
Sae looked away, ashamed.
He didn't give her any respite. "So you had options. Makoto was never really a burden."
She exploded. "You think I don't know that? You think I'm happy with myself?"
The boy said nothing as he stared at her with a poker face.
"Do you think I take sick pleasure knowing that I have let myself become corrupt?" She spoke with a shaky voice.
Then Sae let out a cynical, self deprecating chuckle pass through her lips. "Do you know that after that palace, I'll have to live with myself for the rest of my life knowing that Makoto is a shell of who she used to be, because of me?"
Morgana looked sadly at her.
"Knowing that I failed her?" She choked out.
"Well, these are your burdens, ma'am. We all carry different crosses." Ren replied, voice even.
A contemplative silence followed Ren's words. Then, all the fight left her body, and she put both her hands on her temples.
"I… I don't know what I'm doing anymore, honestly. Nothing makes sense."
The boy relaxed his posture and adjusted his glasses. "Well then, a friendly advice for you ma'am: Change."
Her gaze fell upon the boy. Amamiya had a determined look as he stared at her.
What was wrong with her?
She should change, shouldn't she? Didn't she vow to do just that?
"...At least try to be a less shitty person." He quipped after a few more seconds of her silence.
The silver haired woman involuntarily snorted, actually amused at his bold words.
This stupid kid had such guts. Such defiance, such audacity!
…He reminded her of herself a little, especially when she used to talk back to all the adults as a teenager herself.
Sae could feel the start of a grudging respect for the boy to spark in her.
He continued to advise her. "After we are done here, just go home and apologize to your sister. And I mean really apologize."
The two shared a look of understanding.
Sae let out a shaky breath. "...I guess that's what I should do, huh?"
"Try to hear her reasons for joining us. I doubt it will be enough to undo months, perhaps even years of mistreatment on your part, but it's a start." The boy advised.
Morgana chimed in. "He's right, you know. Makoto deserves a little more care and support than what you have been giving her. Besides, you have a persona now. It has to mean something. It means you can change."
They were right, weren't they?
Sae had vowed to her own persona to do just that.
"Alright. You guys are right. I-"
She paused to recompose herself.
"I'll change. For Makoto. I'll be better for her."
The boy's tense posture finally relaxed and he nodded, with a hint of a smile on his face. "Good."
[Makoto Niijima Haru Okumura]
[Makoto Niijima: Hi Haru.
[Makoto Niijima: Considering that we are still working on changing your father's heart, I feel my actions have hurt you the most and I really wanted to apologize for that.
[Haru Okumura: Yes, it did.
[Haru Okumura: I'm not going to lie, what you did made me feel angry.
[Haru Okumura: And yes, perhaps I was a bit harsh with you, but I can't control how I feel. Your timing was the worst.
[Makoto Niijima: I'm really sorry Haru…
[Haru Okumura: I know you are, but it still stings.
[Haru Okumura: I understand what it is like going against your guardian. I believe Yusuke-kun was annoyed with you for the same reason.
[Haru Okumura: Since, you know, Madarame and everything.
[Makoto Niijima: I need to apologize to Yusuke-kun too…
[Haru Okumura: Yes, you do.
[Haru Okumura: I Hope you know that if you had told us, told me.
[Haru Okumura: I would have supported you all the way, and been a shoulder to cry on, if you needed me.
[Haru Okumura: Because I know how it feels.
[Haru Okumura: If you wanted, we could've even tried working on her palace alongside my father's.
[Haru Okumura: I don't know Mako-chan, we would've figured it would. I just wished you trusted us.
[Makoto Niijima: Is there any way I can make it up to you?
[Haru Okumura: There is no need. Just please never do anything behind our backs like this ever again, okay?
[Haru Okumura: And please give me some time.
[Makoto Niijima: Okay. I promise.
[Haru Okumura: Good. I heard you got injured, so I hope you recover soon.
[Haru Okumura: Stay safe, Mako-chan.
[Makoto Niijima: Thanks Haru…
It stung, but there was nothing else she could do. Unlike the others, Haru was her actual peer, someone on equal footing with her so she would naturally expect Makoto to maintain their mutual respect.
She hoped their newly forged friendship would survive.
She bid her friend goodnight, then rubbed her temples, tiredness starting to overcome her senses. Her arms and face were aching fiercely, so she took her prescribed painkillers and decided to lay on the couch, with no energy to order anything to eat.
Not that she had the stomach for it either.
Makoto waited.
"You know Amamiya, if you had told me any of this before the events of my palace took place, I don't know what I would have done against you."
He raised an eyebrow at her words.
She sighed tiredly. "But honestly, from what I heard, I am pretty much convinced that the Phantom Thieves aren't responsible for the shutdown cases, at the very least."
"We swear it." Ren said with utter conviction.
"I think… Before I give you any sort of definitive answer or try to reach any kind of solid deal, though, I want to have a chat with Makoto myself."
Ren and Morgana shared a glance "That is fair, but if I might ask, you're not planning to go hard on her, are you?"
Sae shook her head, not wanting to enter an argument again. "If you must know, no, I don't plan on being harsh with her. I just wish to know why."
He stared at her for a long time. "Fair enough. Like I said, I don't have a very high opinion of you, but for Makoto's sake, I am willing to hear you out and change the way I think of you as a person."
His tone was even and confident. He was being honest.
"And, if you ever need a friendly ear to listen to your troubles, you can always come talk to me. We could debate all you want. Or just scream at each other's face all day if you need an outlet for your anger. What do you say?"
It should've felt ridiculous that a teenage boy whom she has just barely met, confronted and sort of detested would come out and offer to listen to her issues.
He was such a little asshole too. He kept pushing her to face her flaws… Almost like...
...Like her shadow, her persona.
Sae felt a strange sensation taking hold of her, almost as if…
As if Amamiya could be a tentative friend, if she was willing to accept his offer.
"I have no idea why, but that actually doesn't sound too bad." She said, stupefied at considering his offer.
For the first time that night, Amamiya gave her a genuine smile.
Time stopped, and Ren could hear an ethereal voice in his head.
"I am thou... Thou art I...
Thou hast acquired a new vow...
It shall become the wings of rebellion that breaketh thy chains of captivity.
With the birth of Judgement Persona,
I have obtained the winds of blessing that shall lead to freedom and new power..."
JUDGEMENT ARCANA: RANK 1
Time resumed again. Ren glanced at a puzzled Morgana and winked. This was going to be very interesting.
Sae looked at the time in her phone and sighed. "It's quite late, and I'm pretty sure the trains will stop running for the night if you don't run along. Leave the bill to me."
Ren just shrugged. "If you insist."
They left the private area and went back to the bar, where Sae proceeded to pay the bill, then excused herself to the restroom.
Lala narrowed her eyes at the definitely not suspicious older woman briefly leaving.
Ren waved off her concerns. "Look it's… complicated, but I swear it's not what it looks like. We were just reaching an understanding."
Lala just tutted "Is that what they call it these days? Well, if you say so. I'm just concerned about you breaking that other poor girl's heart."
Ren looked genuinely offended. "I'd never cheat on Makoto. Sae-san is her sister, actually. So yeah, it's really not what it looks like. I was just getting to know my..." Ren looks around, paranoid that Sae would appear just around the corner "...Sister-in-law."
Lala chan just let out a couple of chuckles. "Is she even aware that she is your sister-in-law?"
Ren just shook his head negatively, and started to drum his fingers nervously on the bar as he waited for Sae to return.
Sae returned swiftly, and they gave Lala-chan their goodbyes. Outside the bar, just before they went their separate ways, Sae had a few parting words for Ren.
"For now, I will keep all of this to myself, for Makoto's sake. But this is far from over, got it?"
And she went on her way, without waiting for his response. Ren rolled his eyes.
Morgana sighed. "Well, that was certainly something."
The living room digital clock read 23:56.
Still no sign of her sister.
'Maybe it would be best if I just went to bed and tried to catch some sleep' She thought to herself.
She was gently lulled to sleep a few minutes later. Just as she was starting to fall asleep deeper, she heard the click of the front door being unlocked.
Makoto sharply jolted from her position, and winced at the pain her brusque movements provoked. Now fully alert, she turned her attention to the front door…
Sae was busy putting her shoes away, when she noticed a minor commotion coming from the direction of their living room.
"Makoto?"
"Welcome home sis…" Makoto mumbled timidly, her posture tense.
Sae studied her sister while running a hand through her silvery hair. She let out a huff and decided to sit down near Makoto.
"Hey. How was your day?" The elder sister asked, voice completely filled with tiredness.
"It was ok…" The younger sister replied, trailing off uncertainly.
Sae closed her eyes. "And how are you feeling?"
"A little sore." Makoto mumbled. "How was work?"
The silver haired woman just let out a grunt.
Then she sighed. "Awful. Worse now that I understand I was being a fool all this time."
"Oh… I'm sorry to hear that." Makoto muttered awkwardly.
A silence ensued. The elder sister continued to stare at the ceiling, as her mind kept processing everything that she heard from Amamiya.
'Right. Best get it over with.' She thought.
"Today I had the most interesting conversation, you see. Does the name Joker ring you any bells?"
Makoto's entire demeanor changed to a shocked rigidity. "W-what!?"
"I know about Amamiya, Makoto. More specifically, I know that he is your leader."
Makoto went from shocked to angry. "You- Wait, is that why you are home late!? You were interrogating Ren-kun alone!?"
"Interrogating? Don't be ridiculous. And even if I were, what is wrong with that? I needed to know whether or not these Phantom Thieves you have involved yourself with were trustworthy or not!" Sae said in an almost hostile, defensive posture.
"I can't believe you. I thought you'd change!"
"Makoto, I am simply looking out for you!"
"You clearly were trying to trap Ren-kun, weren't you? Are you going to arrest me and my friends!?"
Sae was genuinely taken aback seeing Makoto expressing her anger with such cynicism. "What!? Of course not!"
Makoto was ready to retort. "Then why did you do this behind my back? Why not let me know you were going to question Ren-kun?"
This time, Sae's own patience ran out. "Makoto, you have been a Phantom Thief for MONTHS behind my back! You broke my trust first!"
"You could have asked me instead of going to intimidate Ren-kun!" She shouted back.
"Right, because you'd tell me everything, and leave nothing out." Sae retorted sarcastically.
Makoto didn't appreciate her tone. "What is that supposed to mean!?"
"Kaneshiro! Would you have told me about your involvement with Kaneshiro, and how you stormed inside a mafia hideout without thinking!?"
Makoto paled.
Sae was furious and shaking. "Makoto, do you have any idea just how close I was to losing you?"
"Sis, I-"
She grabbed hold of her sister, and shook her. "Do you!? Do you understand it, Makoto!?"
Makoto stayed silent, dumbstruck.
Suddenly remembering Amamiya's words and her own promise, Sae immediately let go of Makoto.
'Fuck, I almost did it again.'
"Shit, I'm sorry." She said as she regretted manhandling her sister.
Makoto stayed quiet as she hugged herself. Sae shuddered as her anger left her body, giving way to raw fear.
She swallowed dryly. "Makoto many girls your age… Many of them were found in situations that-"
She couldn't even continue. It was horrible , what happened to those girls.
It could have been her sister in their place.
"...I wouldn't bear it if any of that happened to you Makoto. It would destroy me."
"Sis…" Makoto whimpered out, seeing her sister's haunted look.
"And that is not all." The older sister whispered.
Sae started unbuttoning her blazer, and lifted her own shirt, showing a deep scar in her abdomen.
Makoto let out a gasp and covered her mouth with her hands, utterly horrified.
"This, baby sister, is why I carry a gun."
Sae dropped her shirt and sat back down "Amamiya-told me that Kaneshiro taunted you about me. Well, turns out, Kaneshiro and I had a long standing feud."
The younger sister looked absolutely horrified. "The scar… You-"
The silver haired woman swiftly interrupted her. "Right after dad passed away, Odawara-sensei demanded a wide manhunt for Kaneshiro. The entire department was crazy trying to catch him."
Sae closed her eyes. "But the bastard was elusive. And he started to send taunts and death threats to me and Sensei both."
The older woman noticed her sister trembling at her words. Sae herself was shaking as she remembered one of the toughest times of her life.
"I was terrified, but I told nobody of it. Sensei did his best to make sure I wasn't alone, but he couldn't protect me forever."
Then she let out a bitter chuckle.
"One day, one of Kaneshiro's goons cornered me in a back alley and tried to…"
"Tried to...?"
In her mind's eyes, Sae could only remember that dark alleyway, the silence, and the musty smells, the lights shining in the distance growing fainter. Then being dragged, shoved and pushed around. Those filthy, disgusting hands and beady eyes reaching out ominously, and then fighting with all she had, every kick, punch, blow and shout, and the stench of her own fear mixed with sweat and blood -
She was violently shoved back to the present as she saw her sister's eyes glistening with tears.
"Nevermind that." The woman said, voice hollow, dismissing the horrifying reality of the attempt against her.
Makoto seemed to think differently. "Sae-"
Sae held one hand up to silence her sister.
"Nothing happened. I managed to wrestle away with aikido. I just got knifed for it. The goon fortunately ran away, and I had a kind passerby take me to the hospital."
The younger sister stared at her, still in utter disbelief, fear and concern.
"It was just a scare, I promise." The woman said, trying to reassure her baby sister.
They went silent for a bit. Makoto fidgeted in her shocked state. Sae decided to continue her tale, ignoring her sister's concerned looks.
"Uncle Katsuya was absolutely furious with me and Sensei for not informing him about the threats when he visited me in the hospital. He issued me a gun, and had you spend that week in Sumaru with uncle Tatsuya."
"I never… Why didn't I know about this?" The younger girl whispered as she recovered her voice.
"I didn't want to scare you. We had just lost dad and everything was too raw, I wanted to protect you at all costs."
"Sae, I can't believe you went through that alone…" The younger girl whispered.
The elder sister shook her head. "It doesn't matter any longer."
"Of course it matters! I-"
"It's okay. I am okay." She repeated more for her own sake than Makoto's.
Her baby sister fiercely shook her head. Sae ignored her.
"Sensei continued to pursue Kaneshiro, and Kaneshiro continued to issue creepy threats aimed at us both, but he stopped having his goons following me around after the cleanup of Shinjuku. I assume this is when he had to move to Shibuya for his new operations."
"Is this why you were so dead set on catching Kaneshiro?" Makoto asked, with sympathy.
Sae stayed quiet and let out a shaky breath. "Among other things… Yes."
Makoto looked afraid of asking the question that Sae knew she'd eventually ask.
Not ready to open the rest of the can of worms that was Kaneshiro, she decided to change the subject before Makoto gathered enough courage to do so.
"Listen, what happened to me matters little now. I just want you to tell me, why? Why did you do what you did? What drove you to join the Phantom Thieves?" She asked, with a tone of defeat in her voice.
The younger girl sighed and sat back down, covering her face with her hands.
"After Kamoshida confessed, I was put under massive pressure by principal Kobayakawa to find the Phantom Thieves." Makoto started.
"I had suspicions for a while as to who they were, but I wasn't sure that reporting them was warranted just yet.
"It wasn't until Madarame's change of heart that I was actively coerced into finding them. The principal subtly threatened to withhold a letter of recommendation from me, then told me that I would also be disappointing and disgracing you if I didn't do what he asked."
Sae looked furious hearing her words, but she waved for Makoto to continue.
Makoto ran a hand through her hair. "I didn't want to cause any trouble for you, so I complied with his orders. However, during that time, I also had students come to me desperate about the Shibuya scams, pleading with me to do something. I went to the principal to tell him about the situation, but instead, he threw the responsibility of catching the scammers back to me…"
"Right, that fucking bastard." The elder sister whispered harshly.
Focusing back on Makoto and shoving her seething thoughts aside, Sae saw her sister shake her head.
"He was like that. He would try to boss me around to do things that not even the adults were capable of…"
Sae scoffed. "That's absolutely ridiculous. Why didn't you tell me about this!? I'd have sued that cretin egghead until he was weeping and begging for mercy."
"Like I said… I didn't want to drop more troubles on your plate."
Sae rubbed her temples. "Ugh. Fine, continue."
"I had these impossible situations in my hands. I had to catch the Phantom Thieves, but also stop a criminal gang from exploiting my fellow students. So, deciding to kill two birds with one stone, I blackmailed the others into helping me stop the leader of the scheme…"
"Right. Amamiya told me that part. Did you really stalk him and his friends around?"
Makoto blushed. "Yes, not my proudest moments, but I had to make sure…"
"Makoto, you suck at being stealthy." Sae pointed out with a raised eyebrow.
"It is not that bad anymore…" She defended."
Sae rolled her eyes, remembering that she had literally just followed Makoto into her own palace. "Of course."
"Anyways, the others had to find and change the heart of this gang leader. But they ran into trouble since, you know, to enter a palace, you need a name, a place and a distortion."
Makoto tensed, and swallowed dryly.
"They didn't have Kaneshiro's name… And at the time, I wasn't aware of its importance, so I kept pressuring them. I figured that it was something you would do…"
The silver haired woman winced realizing the bad example she set for her baby sister. The younger girl wasn't wrong though.
Sae would in fact have done much worse for even less.
"At first, I was hopeful. Things were finally looking up for me, and I wanted to help as much as I could."
She scratched at her eyes then looked at Sae. "But in truth, nothing really got much better. The Thieves and everyone else kept pushing me away and treating me like a pest, and the principal wouldn't stop complaining. The pressure kept piling up more and more, and…"
She hesitated.
"And?" Sae gently nudged her to continue.
"And I sort of kept feeling more and more worthless. I was so alone… I felt like I had nobody in my corner. I asked you what dad would think of the Phantom Thieves, and you lashed out at me." She said, her eyes filling with involuntary tears.
Sae paled, remembering her awful, uncalled for words.
"And I was just so done, you know? I just wanted to-" Makoto choked up, as if unable to get the words out.
The prosecutor stayed quiet and stared at the ceiling, feeling like the scum of the earth.
"-I just wanted to be useful." Makoto finished, then covered her face, curled up and sobbed hard, letting out all the pain she had been bottling up.
'This is all my fault.' Sae thought with crushing feelings of self loathing and disgust at herself as she heard the painful wails coming from her sister.
She let her sister cry to her heart's content, while she stewed in her own defeat and failure.
"I…" Makoto choked up a few moments later. "I don't…"
The elder Niijima decided to be patient and waited. She didn't have to wait long, because Makoto tried again soon after.
"I a-always knew I was a b-burden to you, a burden to o-others…" Makoto hiccuped as a fresh wave of tears dropped from her eyes.
"D-despite doing everything that was asked of me, I was treated like a nuisance, something unpleasant for others to deal with."
Makoto wiped out her tears, and continued, this time more composed. "I'm student council president, but nobody comes to me, because my peers think I'm an uncaring, unfeeling robot."
She rocked herself slightly. "Sometimes I hear the whispers in school. They think I knew about Kamoshida, and that I deliberately helped cover it up."
The younger Niijima let out a self deprecating chuckle, then cried anew. "And you know what is the most messed up thing? They're partially right. If I didn't turn a blind eye, maybe I could've done more, maybe even help Suzui-san. Instead, I let the adults dictate my sense of justice, my own sense of self worth, even."
"You're a child Makoto, there was nothing you could have done to help. You could have gotten hurt if you involved yourself with that situation." Sae tried to appeal to her logic, but that seemed to offend Makoto.
"That's exactly the kind of excuse that I used to tell myself. The truth is that none of the adults really cared or tried to do anything, either."
Sae couldn't exactly refute that argument.
Makoto shot a despondent look towards her sister. "All this time, ever since dad died, I kept my head down. I haven't stepped a single toe out of line for years until I joined the Phantom Thieves."
The brunette took a breath to recompose herself, then pressed on, trying not to cry again. "And despite all of that, I know what you, and others, think of me. And no matter how good, obedient and well behaved I am, I will never be enough."
That made Sae snap out of her silence. "Makoto, that's not true at all! You are more than enough…"
The younger girl stayed silent and continued to sniffle.
"You know…" Sae started again, deciding to go for another approach.
Makoto looked at her sister, expectantly.
"The reason I followed you yesterday… Was because I felt there was something amiss with you. I have known for months in fact."
"I didn't think you'd notice." The younger sister whispered with a shaky voice.
"Well, I did." Sae responded, her voice far away. "Perhaps it was because of my horrible control freak tendencies, but I was feeling like you were avoiding me."
Sae then put her hands on Makoto's shoulders and looked her in the eye, trying to muster all the sincerity she had in her.
"Makoto, I have no words… No words to truly convey to you how sorry I am." She said, choking back her own tears. "I Have failed you and I have been primarily responsible for this unnecessary pressure and feelings of worthlessness you have been carrying with you."
Makoto shook her head. "You were suffering too. I know you didn't mean it."
Seeing Makoto looking so vulnerable, Sae held back the urge to cry. "Does it matter? This is all on me. Mother's cognition was right all along."
Makoto wiped her own tears once more. "Cognitions suck. Don't pay them any mind."
Sae let out a saddened chuckle.
"I should be the one comforting you, not the other way around."
"Doesn't matter." Makoto replied stubbornly as she sniffled.
The woman felt a spark of pride for her baby sister.
"Don't you see Makoto? You are not worthless. And certainly not useless. You are the best sister I could have asked for. I'm so proud of you. And I would be lost without you."
Sae smiled, then patted Makoto's head. "I love you, okay?"
The younger girl nodded fiercely, while crying anew. "I l-love you t-too, sis."
"Hey, come here little panda." Sae said, opening her arms.
Makoto eagerly hugged her back.
They stayed embraced, comforting each other, with Sae running her hands through Makoto's hair in a soothing manner.
Sae knew it wasn't enough to undo all the hut she had caused.
…But it was a start.
To be continued…
