And we're back with another episode!

Review responses:

Luckyhill: Pillow dying wouldn't matter. She's already canonically died several times and didn't stay dead.

G-Man 2.0: And I suppose TheQuartering and Wen Ts'ai are in hell. Hopefully Charlie doesn't try to redeem them.

Pinecoop: You can't lecture me on "problematic content" when you include characters from Helluva Boss, GTA etc. in your fanfictions.


Episode 8: Truth or Big, Stinkin' Lies

It was late at night, a little over an hour after the challenge had ended. Gordman and Swag were dumping the body of Wen Ts'ai into the garbage.

"Wow Chris, what an asshole! I hope the person who killed him gets a nobel prize!" Swag said as he lowered the body bag into the dumpster, causing a few bones to crack as well.

"For once you are right on something. He's like one of those video essayists on youtube who hate on everything that isn't fine art. They can go suck double dicks! Can't enjoy something without some dipshit telling me it's objectively bad anymore!"

"Yeah. Rest In Piss loser!"


Mona had come back from the bathroom after a long crying session. She walked up to the cabin, still sad but at least she could control her emotions.

When she was about to enter it, she heard a familiar voice from behind. "Hey Mona."

Mona screamed in surprise, but calmed once she realized who it was. "Oh, h-hey Ashley, d-didn't see you there. I-I'm ok, relatively speaking, of course!" She said with a fake laugh.

"...I see you're still tensed up from earlier, I wouldn't blame you though, that guy was a nasty piece of work."

"Y-Yeah! I know right? That man had no business attacking ME over the smallest of mistakes!"

"At least now he won't bother you, that's a relief for everyone."

"Hey, before I go to sleep, I gotta ask you something. Is it just me, or are you a bit more...caring than usual?"

"What? No. I was just...nearby, that's all."

Mona didn't think that was the case, but she was too tired by this point to say anything as she went to bed.

"Phew, glad she's gone now." Ashley whispered as soon as Mona left.

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Confessional: Ashley

Ashley: I don't...I don't want Mona to t-think of me as a friend, or really anyone for that matter. I'm just Ashley and nothing else.

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It was now morning, and the members of Team Rose (mainly Sanders, Dee Jay, Cream, Amy and Banban) were relaxing in their cabins as usual when some random dude knocked on the door.

"Open up, I need me some creamy pussy!" The man said as he knocked harder and harder on the door.

"Um, wait, who is this mon?" Dee Jay asked, confused. "I don't recognize that voice."

"Sure this is safe to open?" Sanders asked.

Banban however, didn't think at all and opened the door.

Out of it came a morbidly obese bald black man who was barely able to squeeze though the door. "Time to see my kitten!"

Banban was shocked. "Oh shit! That's EDP445!"

EDP445-The Cupcake Eater (Youtuber)

"That's the guy? I've actually interacted with him before on discord. He seemed pretty pushy." Cream explained, terrifying Banban.

"That's real bad! Dude is a pedo who likes little kids sucking him!"

Everyone was shocked by that. "Y-You didn't tell me that Cream!" Amy yelled worryingly as she took out her hammer. "You'll pay for this!"

"What, no! I-I was actually here to pick up a cupcake, a-and go home!" EDP lied though his teeth.

Amy didn't believe it though, and swung her hammer right in the kiwis and knocked him down.

"Ooh, my sack! Anywhere but my sack!" EDP groaned in pain as Amy hit him again, this time in the face. "There, YOU HAPPY NOW?! GET OUT!"

EDP was then thrown into a lake, but his weight allowed him to float and not drown.

Amy scorned Cream. "Cream, you better make sure to be more careful when talking to strangers!"

"Y-Yes Amy, I will!"

A little bit after that, Bea came into the cabin, this time with a more cheerful demeanor than usual. "Hey guys, did anything happen while I was gone?"

"N-Nothing important, that's for sure." Sanders responded.

"Well we did have-" Banban tried to say before Sanders covered his mouth. "L-Like I said, nothing important!"

"OK then." Bea said with a surprising smile as she went to her bed. There, she took the bag that was underneath the bed, and searched in it. She took out some straw sandals out of it, and quickly put them on her formerly bare feet.

"This why you came here?" Asked Sanders.

"More or less yes. Walking barefoot is a pain on an island like this, and these sandals at least give me more freedom than some dumb sneakers."

"You do realize people are not going to be less horny just cuz you cover the sole, right?" Banban asked.

"Why do you ask that?"

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Confessional: Banban

Banban: Thank god EDP was taken care of before Bea arrived. Who knows what his reaction would have been to a barefoot, muscled chocolate waifu?

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"Hey Bea, I gotta say, I was really impressed with how you handled that jerk from yesterday!" Dee Jay congratulated her, causing her to crack a smile. "You were the only one brave enough to call his ass out like that, even I couldn't do that!"

"Thanks Dee Jay."

"#BEASWEEP!" Banban added.

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Confessional: Dee Jay

Dee Jay: Is it just me, or has Bea started to just...emote more? If so, good for her!

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At Team Pee Pee's cabin, their members were all staring at Johnny with contempt, except Brody and Jeffy for some reason.

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Confessional: Johnny Cage

Johnny: Great, that fucking plankton has more or less guaranteed my elimination if our team loses the next challenge. This means that I gotta make sure that my dumbass teammates like Jeffy don't fuck it up.

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Plankton, Rottytops and Cordelia were once again having an alliance meeting.

"Alright alliance, Operation Get Rid Of Johnny Cage is still on-going, and, considering what happened yesterday, it's safe to say it'll be a success!" Plankton started.

"About that." Cordelia said. "Don't you find suspicious how convenient that was? Especially since you were the one to expose him for his alleged stealing?"

"So what? Even if he did lie, there's no real proof he did so, meaning we can just vote Johnny off no biggie!" Rotty explained.

"But that's a really bad thing to do, to make such slanderous claim just to vote him off!"

"And why do you care about morals so much girl? Those are for the lame people anyway!"

"If I lied, why would Boba Fett back me up. we're not even on the same team!" Plankton defended himself.

"I-I suppose that's true. But I'm still a bit confused is all."

"That's a good step forward for our alliance. And now, I'd say meeting's adjourned!"

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Confessional: Cordelia

Cordelia: If I find out about Plankton actually doing something shady, this alliance will be over! I can't give a bad example to the people of Ylisse by alligning with a villain!

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Confessional: Plankton

Plankton: If Cordelia's so serious about her moral standards, imagine what her reaction would be to my cross team alliance! Oh yeah, I haven't told any of them about the other team's allies, though I doubt anyone but her would care!

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The 3 teams arrived at the challenge site and were greeted by Chris and the two interns.

"Greetings idiots! Today's challenge is a blast from the past! Remember how we had a cool truth or lies challenge in Season 4 Episode 2 that we abandoned for a generic relay race we've done a dozen times? Well if you did, you'll sure be happy to hear we're bringing it back!"

Swag and Gordman then pull out a rug to reveal 3 sets of 12 chairs. All of them had a big red buzzer.

"Yo, didn't they have the same challenge back in Disventure Camp season 2?" Brody asked, to which Chris responded with that death threat gesture you see in movies.

"Ignoring the retard, this challenge is pretty simple: Gordman will reveal a deeply held secret of one of the contestants to a team, and to get a point, you'll need to reveal that secret to everyone by pressing that buzzer! If you don't, you just don't get a point! I could just torture you guys like last time, but I'm too lazy to do that!"

"You guys better not be pussies about your secrets, if we don't wanna lose!" Johnny told his team.

"And why should we listen to a person who is not nice?" Leafy replied. "And it's not like Team Cocoa didn't allow you on an island for it to be justified!"

"Yeah! Mr. Cheese is still mad about that!" Mr. Cheese exclaimed.

'Whatever. Challenge starts now. Everyone get in your seats and Gordman, reveal some juicy secrets!"

"Fine boss."

Everyone took their seats and were paranoid of what Chris could reveal.

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Confessional: Plankton

Plankton: If Chris decides to reveal any of the stuff I've been doing this game I'm boned!

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Confessional: Mr. Cheese

Mr. Cheese: Eh, I'm probabwy fine! I don't have any real secrets to reveal!

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"First question for Team Cocoa: Who's brother helped a fascist asshole nearly get elected from president?"

"That's probably Connor." Player says. "What with how much he talks about US politics."

"Ah ah ah! It only counts if he presses the buzzer!" Chris explains.

Sure enough, Connor presses it no biggie. "Whatever. He didn't get chosen anyway, and even then, I had very little to do with it. At most I asked for some role when we all thought he won."

"And about your, like, brother?" LSP asked.

"He's a stupid edgelord, that's all you need to know."

"That was surprisingly easy for him to answer, so one point for Team Cocoa! Gordman, next question for Team Rose this time!"

"OK, wait? Why are there over 20 questions for Bea that all relate to her feet?"

"Exactly, do you know how much of a pain it is to find images of me online that aren't feet photos or poorly drawn art made by some foot obsessed weirdos?!" Bea angrily complained.

"If you're so uncomfortable, Gordman can ignore all but one of them, aight?"

"Fine. Here's the most comfortable one: Who outright dislikes any shoes that aren't open toed?"

Bea pressed the buzzer super quickly. "Is that even a secret? It may as well be part of my brand at this point."

"You don't wear real shoes? That's dumb." Nichelle said. "But at least it ain't socks and sandals!"

"Honestly Nichelle, you've insulted me so many times I don't even care anymore."

"Next question: Who has falsely accused their own father of rape?"

Jeffy got angry. "What the fuck are you talking about? Daddy fucking slapped my fucking ass more times than I can fucking count!"

"Really though? Are you sure that's the truth? SWAG! Bring in the TV and put Jeffy's Bad Word on it!"

"Man that video sucks balls, but ok!"

Swag then brought a TV and it began playing an SML video. (you can skip this whole section)


[The episode begins when Jeffy hits the diaper 26 times.]

Mario: Okay Jeffy, I have to run to the store really quick, can I trust you to stay home by yourself? Jeffy: By myself? Mario: Yes, by yourself. Don't-Don't do anything wrong. Just sit right here for like five minutes and I'll be right back. Jeffy: Can I poop in the sink? Mario: No! Jeffy: Can I poop in the bathtub? Mario: No! You know what, Jeffy? Whatever, you have to come with me! Come with me! Jeffy: Ok. [At the inside of Mario's car.] Jeffy: Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh! Mario: Jeffy, Stop making that noise! I'm trying to drive to the store! Jeffy: What's a store? Mario: It's a place where you buy stuff, Jeffy.

[Hansel jumps up to Mario's car.]

Mario: OH MY JESUS CHRIST! NOW GET OUT OF THE ROAD, YOU FAGGOT!

Hansel: Can I get some change, dude? Mario: I don't have any change. Just-Just go away. Oh, Jesus Christ. The nerve-er people. Jeffy: Faggot. Mario: Jeffy, do not say that word! Jeffy: Why? Faggot? Mario: Because it- No, Jeffy, that's a bad word. I didn't mean to say it, I was just-I was just mad. Jeffy: Oh, Faggot. Mario: Jeffy, do not say that! Go away! Jeffy: Go away, Faggot. Mario: No! Shh! I don't have any change. Go-Go away. Yeah, go away. Oh, Jesus. Just-Don't-Don't say that word, Jeffy. Jeffy: All right, Faggot. Mario: No, Jeffy, it's a bad word. Stop it! Jeffy: OK, Faggot. Mario: Jeffy! OK, Jeffy, we're at Walmart, so can I trust you to stay in the car and be good? Jeffy: No. Mario: Way to be honest, Jeffy. Well, okay. We're going to go in the store for like five minutes. I'm going to grab a few things, okay? Jeffy: OK, Faggot. Mario: And do not say that word! Jeffy: All right, Faggot. Mario: Jeffy! OK, Jeffy, I just have to get a few things from the store, okay? So just please be good. Jeffy: OK, Faggot. Mario: Jeffy, do not say that word, we're in public. Just stop it. I can't get a lightbulb. Ok, lightbulbs. I need a white lightbulb.
[an tyrone comes up to Mario] Tyrone: Excuse me? Mario: I'm sorry? Tyrone: What'd you just say? Mario: I need to get a white lightbulb. Tyrone: A white lightbulb? Why it gotta be white, huh? Mario: Because it's soft white, it's behind you. It's the white bulb. It's that one. A white lightbulb. Tyrone: Why-Why can't you just get a black one, huh? A black one won't do. It won't work for you. Mario: I mean, I'm-I'm pretty sure it's fine, but I just need a white one, so- Tyrone: So black ain't good enough, huh? Mario: It is- Tyrone: Is that what you're trying to say or are you just being a racist? That's what you are. You just another but a racist. Mario: W-What? No-I'm sorry, I just need- Tyrone: APOLOGIZE RIGHT NOW! BLACK LIGHTS MATTER! Mario: O-Okay, I'm so sorry. Jeffy: Hey, Faggot. Mario: Jeffy! Tyrone: Excuse me? What'd you just say? Mario: I'm s-I'm sorry, that was-that was my son. Tyrone: Someone black and our gay! Mario: N-No, I never said that- Tyrone: You won't be offensive to me? Wait-So-So, this light. If it was gay, you wouldn't even be buying it right now! So why are you in the light now? Mario: What? No, I'm-I'm not-Nothing gets getting people with black people- Tyrone: You know what? Call me out of my name one more time, if you just, "UNH" just say one more thing, I promise. Mario: J-Jeffy! Do not say anything else! Do not say that thing! Do not say anything else! Jeffy: OK, Faggot. Mario: Jeffy! Tyrone: WAIT! YOU CALLED ME A FAGGOT AGAIN?! Mario: No, no, no! [Tyrone beats up Mario and brutally smashes the light bulb onto Mario's head] [back in Mario's car] Jeffy! Sit in your seat and put your seatbelt on! Jeffy! Jeffy: Faggot. Mario: Jeffy, no! You got me beat up at Walmart for saying that word, sit down! I can't wait till we get home. I might hit you. Jeffy: Faggot. [back home] Mario: OK, Jeffy! You're going to sit right there and think about what you did! Jeffy: What'd I do, Faggot? Mario: Jeffy, stop saying that word! Jeffy: All right, Faggot. Mario: Jeffy, stop it! OK, what am I going to do? Jeffy: Faggot. Mario: Jeffy! Jeffy: Faggot. Mario: OK, I'm just going to I'm going to call Rosalina, that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to call Rosalina. Jeffy: OK, Faggot. Mario: Hello? Rosalina: Mario, what's wrong? You sounded really upset over the phone. Mario: Hang a sec. Come inside. Rosalina: What's wrong? Mario, what is wrong? Mario: It's Jeffy! Jeffy: What up, Faggot? Rosalina: Jeffy! Where did you hear that word? Jeffy: Daddy. Rosalina: Mario! Mario: Baby, let me explain. Okay? Me and Jeffy were on our way to a store. And on the way to the store, a homeless man jumps out in front of my car. And I almost hit him. So I was really mad and I said, "YOU FAGGOT!". And Jeffy heard me and now he won't stop saying it. Jeffy: Faggot. Rosalina: You can't say those things in front of him. He's very impressionable. His mind is like a sponge. Mario: I-I know. Jeffy: Faggot. Mario: Jeffy! Do not say that word! Jeffy: What word? Mario: Faggot! Rosalina: Mario! Mario: What? Jeffy! Jeffy: Faggot. Rosalina: Don't say that word anymore. Jeffy: What word? Rosalina: Faggot! Mario: Hey! Rosalina: Oh, sorry. Jeffy: Faggot. Mario: Jeffy, I'm-If you keep saying that word, I'm going to give you a spanking. Rosalina: Mario, you wouldn't! Mario: I-I-I... Jeffy: A spanking? What's a spanking? Mario: A spanking is where I hit you in the butt with my hand. Jeffy: In my butt? Rosalina: In the butt? Mario: What? Rosalina: You said, "in the butt" with your hand. Mario: What? Y-Yeah, but- Jeffy: You're going to put your hands in my butt, Faggot. Mario: What-N-What? No! Rosalina: Is pretty gay, Mario. Mario: NOW, JEFFY, THAT'S IT! NO! NO! I WILL SPANK YOU ON THE BUTT WITH MY HAND IF YOU SAY FAGGOT ONE MORE TIME! Jeffy: Then do it, Faggot. Mario: THAT'S IT! [all overlapping] [Mario spanks Jeffy several times with Jeffy hollering over being "raped"] Rosalina: Mario, stop it! Mario! Mario: You made me do this! You made me do this! Rosalina: Mario, stop it! [after Mario stopped spanking Jeffy, Rosalina's crying] Mario: I think I dealt with that situation very maturely. Rosalina: You didn't have to be that hard on him, Mario. Mario: What are you talking about? Rosalina: You beat him! Mario: Beat him? No! I smacked him on the butt five times! Six times at most! Rosalina: Five times too many, you… Child Beater! Mario: He's a retard! Rosalina: That's it! I'm going to go look for him! Mario: Fine! He had a diaper on it like cushion the boat-Whatever, whatever. Rosalina: Jeffy! Jeffy! JEFFY! Jeffy: Uh. Rosalina: Oh, there he is. Jeffy. Jeffy: Uh, uh. Rosalina: How are you doing? Jeffy: Uh. Rosalina: You okay, sweetie? Jeffy: Uh, uh. UHHHHHHHH! Uh. Rosalina: How are you doing, Jeffy? Jeffy: My butt hurts, Mommy. Rosalina: I'm sorry. I know. Jeffy: Daddy raped me. Rosalina: No, no, Jeffy. He- Jeffy: Yeah, he did. Rosalina: He just spanked you. He was very upset. Jeffy: No, he stuck his fingers in my butt, and twirled them around and then sniffed them. Rosalina: No, Jeffy, that didn't happen. Jeffy: Uh. Yeah, it did, Mommy. Faggot. Rosalina: Yes! Yes, he is! Jeffy: Daddy, you're a Faggot! Mario: JEFFY! Rosalina: Come on, Jeffy, let's go get ready for bed. All right, Jeffy. Just try to relax now and in the morning you'll feel better and you'll forget everything. Jeffy: Forget? HOW DO YOU FORGET RAPE?! Rosalina: Jeffy, he didn't rape you. He just spanked you, that's all. Jeffy: What's the difference? Rosalina: Jeffy, just try to relax. Mwah! Love you! Good night. Jeffy: [calls 911] Officer: 911, what's your emergency? Jeffy: Mr. Police Officer Man, my daddy raped me. Officer: W-WHAT?! Rosalina: Well, I tucked Jeffy in and he's going to bed now. Mario: You know, all I did was spank him, right? Rosalina: I don't want to have this conversation. Mario: I spanked him! All I did was spank him! Every parent spanks their kid when they're bad. All I did was hit him with my hand. That's it. [knocks on door] Rosalina: Oh, goodness. Mario: W-What is that? Rosalina: Who is that? Mario: I don't know. Hello? Officer: Yeah, I got a call here about a rape. Mario: What? Officer: Yeah, I-I got a call from a child from this apartment that said he was raped. Mario: Wha-? Officer: Yeah, and I forget my hand. I'm all kinds pissed off so which one of you is it? Mario: W-Uh… Officer: I'm looking at you, Mr. Mustache. People with mustaches are clearly rapists. Mario: Wh-Well, I-Jeffy. Rosalina: Oh. Mario: Jeffy has a pho-Uh, so, officer I know that, just come inside. Officer: I always gonna. Mario: Jeffy! Jeffy, get in here right now! Jeffy: What up, Faggot? You want to rape me again? Rosalina: Jeffy! Don't say that! Mario: Do not say that, Jeffy, there's a police officer right here. Officer: That's the kid? Mario: Uh, yes, officer. This is Jeffy. Now, Jeffy, tell the nice police officer exactly what happened. Officer: Yeah, tell me. Jeffy: Daddy raped me. Officer: Oh, really? I knew it was you, Mr. Mustache. Mario: No, no. Officer, I did not rape him. This is exactly what happened. Officer: OK. Mario: Earlier today, me and Jeffy went on a drive to a store. And a homeless man jumped out in front of my car and I almost hit him. Officer: You almost hit someone with your car. Mario: I did not hit the person, he jumped out in front of my car-whatever. Anyway, the homeless guy made me mad and I yelled "Faggot" at him. OK. And-Oh, OK. And he kept repeating it. Kept repeating it, and he... Jeffy: Faggot.
Mario: And he got me beat up in a store, so I gave him a spanking for saying "Faggot" and then now he's saying that I raped him. Officer: OK, so you beat your kid. Mario: He's not my kid. Officer: Oh, he's not your kid. So you beat somebody else's kid. Mario: I mean, I'm his guardian. I gave him a spanking! ALL I DID WAS GIVE HIM A SPANKING! Officer: Ma'am, is this true? Rosalina: [sobbing] Yes, he did hit him on the butt very hard. MULTIPLE TIMES! Mario: Oh, come on! [all overlapping] Jeffy: Have fun in prison. Don't get raped. Rosalina: Child Beater! Tyrone: BLACK LIGHTS MATTER! BLACK LIGHTS MATTER! BLACK LIGHTS MATTER! Dr. Goodman: Breaking news, m'kay? The mascot for Nintendo, Mario the world renowned video game star for children has been accused of child abuse, rape, and vehicular assault. Rosalina: What's up, Child Beater? Mario: I'm-I'm out on bail. Rosalina: Mmm-hmm. Mario: And I'm also a registered sex offender for some reason. Rosalina: Hmm. Mario: And I'm a felon.
Rosalina: Hmm. Mario: So I can't vote or own a gun. Rosalina: Mmm-hmm. Mario: And I also have my driver's license suspended. Rosalina: Well, at least you won't be able to run over any more homeless men. Mario: I did not hit the homeless guy with my car. Rosalina: That's not what the news says! Dr. Goodman: And we have an interview with the homeless man he hit with his car. Let's go do that. Hansel: Hmm. That car came out of nowhere. And broke my arm. Fractured my skull. Ran me over multiple times. A cheeseburger man trying to run me down. Mario: What-Oh, come on! I did not hit him with my car! He's just trying to get a check! Rosalina: Oh, whatever! Mario: W-W-W-Where's Jeffy? Rosalina: Why? So you can beat him again? Fatty! Mario: What?! Rosalina: FATTY FAT FAT FAT FAT! Mario: Where did that come from?! Rosalina: I don't know. I'm just-I'm just really upset, okay? Poor Jeffy. Mario: Well, where is Jeffy? Rosalina: He's in Los Angeles. Mario: Los Angeles? Why? Rosalina: Doing an interview. Dr. Goodman: Hello, and welcome to the Dr. Goodman show. I'm here with Jeffy who's allegedly beaten and raped by his own father. Jeffy, I know this is difficult to talk about, but in the best way that you can, please describe the situation that happened. Jeffy: Well, my daddy, he, uh... He kept putting his hands in my butt over, and over, and over again and I screamed and I cried but he didn't care. He just kept doing it, and doing it. And I cried and I cried and he said, "You're going to take it!" and he took it. [sobbing] Dr. Goodman: My goodness. What a Faggot. Everyone, what a Faggot. Mario: WHAT IS GOING ON?! I DID NOT DO ANYTHING! ALL I DID WAS SPANK HIM! ALL I DID WAS SPANK HIM! Rosalina: Well, you didn't have to be a Faggot. Mario: [screams] [the video ends]


"Ok, so, did Jeffy get raped or what?" Chris asked.

The whole team except Jeffy nodded "no". "WHAT THE FUCK?! I GOT FUCKIN' RAPED AND NONE OF YOU GIVE A SHIT?!"

"Jeffy, what you did to your own father was heartless behaviour at it's finest! Even MePhone4 wouldn't do something like this!" Cabby said.

"Yeah pal! All your dad did was discipline you for being a brat!" Gumshoe added.

"ARE YOU FUCKING HIGH!"

Chris grabbed a taser he had on him and used it on Jeffy to knock him out. "Much better. And since he never pressed the buzzer, Team Pee Pee doesn't in a point!"

Obviously the whole team groaned in frustration.

"Team Cocoa, which character has had the channel their series was hosted on become a massively awful content farm and has thrown all their previous quality out the window?"

Both Player and Mr. Cheese pressed the buzzer at the same time. "You didn't have to remind me of that-HEY! Stop copying what I say!" They both said at the same time.

"And I suppose that'd be a double point!" Chris declared, which caused the other 2 teams to get mad. "That's not fair Chris!" Cordelia complained.

"It is fair actually. In fact, I'll give out some more double questions right now! Gordman, do the honors!"

"Who is in an alliance in Team Rose?"

No one answered.

"Understandable I suppose."

"Team Pee Pee, who has attempted suicide before?"

"That is an extremely loaded question Chris." Cabby said. "I doubt anyone would-" And just before she could finish her sentence, both Plankton and Jeffy pressed the buzzer. "-answer."

"Yeah, I tried to hang myself one episode cuz daddy didn't give me money for a Spongebob game! It also inspired a kid to try hanging himself and that got us on the news!" Jeffy explained.

"And I also tried to get myself run over after my rival Mr. Krabs used my fear of whales against me." Plankton casually admitted.

Banban realized something. "Isn't Mr. Krabs from that one Superstars spin off? He made it to the final 17!"

"There were 18 people there Banban, everyone but the first one out made it to the final 17." Sanders said.

"I didn't watch past episode 2 anyways. How many did I miss anyway?"

"About 10, they're actually nearing the end apparently, episode 11 was so crazy I almost peed my pants watching it!" Brody explained.

"EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Chris yells. "Superstars is just a dumb fanmade show anyway! Really should've sued them in pre production!"

"You're telling me a person with clear history of lying to others would just lie about his show being official just to get it on air?" Brody asks.

"YES! Next question for Team Cocoa!"

"Team Cocoa, who has been abused by their boyfriend before?"

"You just love to embarrass people, don't ya Chris?" Sonic asked.

"Took ya long enough to see that honey." Nichelle sarcastically remarked.

Mr. Cheese pressed the buzzer. "Hey, at least now he's pretty nice."

We then get a flash back.


"My name Mr. Cheese!" Mr. Cheese said.

Suddenly and swiftly, TheGentleman turns around and slaps Mr. Cheese, hard.

"SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO, MR CHEESE!" He then turns around to Player. "My apologies. It appears Mr. Cheese has yet to learn his manners."

"Owie!" Mr. Cheese replied.

"Ah, ok." Player remarked.


"What even caused him to become less abusive to you?" Player asked.

"Probabwy he got scared after seeing what I did to his new BF that one time I impersonated you."

"The more you guys talk about stuff you did before, the more I lose braincells." Sonic snarked.

"Next question: Which one on Team Rose is a closeted lesbian?"

All the girls were weirded out by this question. "Uh, why would anyone answer that question mon?" Dee Jay asked.

"Well it's certainly not Amy." Boba Fett remarked. "This means it must be either Bea, Cream, Nichelle, Sanders or even Frisk if Frisk is a she."

"No answer from me." Sanders said.

"Or me." Bea added.

"Damn, I guess we'll never find out which girl would never date me." Swag complained.

"That's literally all of them." Gordman corrected.

"At least I've still got Sonic!"

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Confessional: Sonic The Hedgehog

Sonic: Yeah, I'll just stay here. Anywhere but where he is!

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"Regardless, Team Rose doesn't get a point, and to be honest, I don't blame them. Next question: Who has forgotten of their spouse on Team Pee Pee?"

No one answered.

"Thought so. Team Cocoa's got 4 points, Team Rose has 1, and Team Pee Pee has 2. Oh, how the tables have turned!" Chris said. "The other teams should start getting a bit more comfortable if they wanna beat the cocoas!"

"Team Cocoa, which one of you is a mass murderer?"

The team looked at each other with great concern.

And then Mr. Cheese pressed the button. "I mean, Among Us murders count, right?"

"NOPE!" Chris yelled. "You guys got the wrong guy, so no points this time!"

"Wait, does that mean one of us 8 is a murderer?" Player asked, concerned.

"I mean, I do turn a bunch of Eggman's bots into scraps of metal daily, and some can think and act for themselves, does that make me a mass murderer? Probably not, maybe a mass self defender instead!" Sonic sarcastically added.

"I mean, didn't the cat girl and duck get murdered?" Connor reminded them. "But then again, maybe some cop really hated animals? Happens all the time with black people in my country, unfortunately, or maybe fortunately if we're talking Kanye."

"Mon what the fuck?!" Dee Jay asked.

"What did I say wrong?"

"Moving on. Team Rose, who has killed over 500-" Toby Queef pressed hard on the buzzer before Gordman could even finish. "-hippies."

"Ye betcha ass I killed a lotta those tree huggin' faggots!" Toby Queef exclaimed. "See all that red on mah truck? That ain't paint, that's actual blood from them drug addicted, orgy lovin', cock suckin', anti american, meat hatin', creatures known as hippies!"

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Confessional: Sanders

Sanders: How this guy hasn't ever tried to kill people like me or Dee Jay before is a mystery to all.

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"Next question: Who has memory issues on team pee pee?"

With a bit of reluctance, Cabby pressed the buzzer and then rubbed her arm on her head(she's a file cabinet, so really more the equivalent of a head). "I don't like to talk about this, but it's better that I simply get it off my chest. This is exactly why I need my files with me at all times."

"Oh, so that's why you stalk people!" Johnny said sarcastically. "But I'm pretty sure you can't get away with murder if you had a gore fetish."

"Yup, who cares if you're much forced to do this? You're still a bad person Cabby!" Leafy cheerfully said.

Mona told Leafy off. "Hey! Cabby's our friend, don't try to shame her just for who she is!"

"Yeah pal, she's been super nice to everyone, even more than you!" Gumshoe added.

Leafy begins to cry. " *sobs uncontrollably* Why is everyone here so MEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNN!"

Gumshoe began to cry as well. "SORRRYYYYY PALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!"

Ashley facepalmed.

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Confessional: Ashley

Ashley: Am I the only one here to not fall for this obvious attempt at emotional manipulation? Seems like it.

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Confessional: Leafy

Leafy continued to cry in the confessional until she stopped and smugly smirked at the camera.

Leafy: Pretending that you're sad or sorry always works out, why else did I rejoin BFB?

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"That was so gay that I'm straight again!" Swag declared.

"You might not wanna offend the token gay girl of the team Swag." Banban said. "Whoever that is, it's probably Bea anyhow."

"Uh, no?" She responded. "Why would you think that?"

"Banban probably just thinks I'd be hot if you made out with another girl." Boba Fett explained. "Me as well, hell, pretty much everyone here except you, Nichelle and Toby Queef."

"WHAT?!" Both Bea and Nichelle said at the same time.

"So long as they don't have actual romantic chemistry and just have onscreen sex and nothing else, I'm fine with gay people." Chris says.

"If you're gonna be a homophobe, at least be consistent about it." Gordman told Chris.

"Ok, maybe you're right, and to be honest, I've always been known to be a hypocrite. Anyway, since I'm bored of this challenge, let's do a lightning round: Gordman will give out every question from one team all at once, and the team will try to answer as many as they can. Team Pee Pee, you're up first!"

"Who is super insecure about how big her boobs are?"

Cordelia presses the buzzer.

"Who enjoys modern SML?"

Ashley reluctantly presses it, making Jeffy try to make a move on her before Mona pushes him away.

"Who is into BDSM?"

No one presses it.

"Who thinks DOGSEATINGDOGS6 is a good youtuber?"

No one presses it.

"Who gets scared by FNAF?"

Mona presses it.

"Who didn't have any dialogue in episode 2?"

Ashley presses it but it's wrong.

After a sped up montage, we get the final score.

"And finally, who has the smallest penis?"

Gumshoe presses it with a small frown on his face. "Yeah yeah, just get on with it pal."

"Nope. It was wrong apparently. The only ones who this applied to were the girls since I guess they don't have penises."

"Wait, they don't?" DADDY DID YOU JUST FUCKIN' LIE TO ME?!" Jeffy realized.

"Well that's just unfair!" Plankton complained.

"I know, but you still got 23 points, the other teams need reveal 19 or 21 of their secrets to even tie with you, let alone get you up for elimination!" Chris explained. "Next is Team Cocoa. Gordman, take it away!"

"Who thinks Nickelback is a good band?"

"Are you crazy? You can risk becoming a social outcast if you reveal that info!" Player said.

"Yah, imagine if the Lumpy Space Kingdom thought I liked Nickelback! They'd like kick me out and put my stupid cousin as ruler!" LSP added.

Connor however, had a plan. He gathered everyone in a circle. "Guys, I've got one little plan that can win us this challenge! You just gotta believe in me!"

"But old people are like so gross!" LSP complained. "E-Except Tree Trunks, she's cool I guess."

"I think we should try Connor's idea once, and if it fails, we're doing it again. Sounds fair right?" Player says, which gets him boos from Pillow, Homer and Mr. Cheese.

"Whatever woser."

They then got out of the circle as Connor hit the buzzer and said. "Not me."

"That's-actually, it is right, you did tell the truth, so I'll let it fly." Chris admitted.

"Who makes Gacha Life videos in their free time?"

"Not me."

"Who voted for Trump?"

"Not me."

"Surprising. Who wants to go back in time to shoot JFK?"

"Not me."

"Who hoards water because they believe the whole world will end in a few years?"

"Me."

"Bingo! Who has never watched BFDI?"

"Not me."

After a billion not me's later, we got to the final question for them.

"Who is an amogus character?"

"Not me."

"You could've gotten 2 instead of 1 point if you let Player and Mr. Cheese answer, but that hardly matters since you got like 60 points, you've pretty much guaranteed immunity for your team."

"Okay, I guess Connor's actually good at something, surprisingly." Mr. Cheese admitted. "Congrats!"

"You did great Connor!" Player said.

"I...I did?" Connor asked himself in disbelief. "I DID! Take that dad! I knew I'll eventually be good at something!"

"As for Team Rose, well, they gotta put in some real work to win this!" Chris said. "First question: Who quit last season over the most obvious scheme ever?"

Nichelle shrugged and pressed the button. "Are you trying to mock me?"

"Maybe. Now, who trained a lot to redeem themselves but failed miserably?"

"S-Seriously? Can you shut up?!" Nichelle complained as she pressed the button.

"Who is a lying bitch?"

"What do you have against me?"

"Who goes out of her way to demean someone out of jealousy and admiration?"

"STOP IT!" She yelled as she started to tear up.

"Who has had her whole life handed to her, all the fame, money and support one can have, and still blew it all up in front of millions on a reality show?" Chris asked with glee at Nichelle's very clear discomfort.

Nichelle couldn't take it any more and screamed at the top of her lungs. "ARE YOU FUCKING HAPPY NOW? ARE YOU SO ENTERTAINED BY MOCKING ME?! I KNOW I'M A WORTHLESS BITCH ALRIGHT, DO I NEED IT TO BE POINTED OUT SO MUCH! FUCK YOU! FUCK ALL OF YOU IDIOTS!"

Nichelle ran off, her crying heard all across the island, making most people uncomfortable.

"What the heck mon?! Did you seriously feel the need to do that to her?!" Dee Jay asked.

"Yeah! Sure she was arrogant and all, but you just gave her a mental breakdown for your own amusement!" Amy protested.

Meanwhile, Bea was looking perplexed, unsure of what to say. "N-Nichelle? W-Why?"

Dee Jay went to her. "Calm down Bea, it's not your fault, it's the host's, he's the real asshole here!"

"Yeah, what the hell Chris? That was seriously uncalled for!" Gordman complained.

"Crying bitches ain't hot, so fuck you shitter Chris!" Swag added.

Chris laughed it off. "Ehehehe! I really don't care how you guys see me, go on with the challenge!"

"Like hell we will!" Sanders responded. "I'm not going to participate in this humiliating challenge any longer!"

"Same!" Dee Jay added.

"Fine. Do as you wish. This was getting boring anyway, that last bit was me trying to spice things up a little."

"You guys do realize we're gonna lose a member, right?" Banban reminded them.

"Not like we're going to win anyhow. Might as well vote off the crying dead weight." Boba Fett said,

"I dunno about that." Amy countered. "She just had a breakdown, wouldn't it be a real jerk move if we voted her off now?"

"Here's my perspective: Nichelle is clearly not ready for this game, it's best we get her out so she can get professional help."

"I suppose that's true." Amy reluctantly admitted. "B-But I'll still think about it!"

"Well what about Bea then? What's she thinking of this?" Dee Jay asked.

"N-Nothing...I'll just...think of who to vote for...yeah."

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Confessional: Boba Fett

Boba Fett: This is our chance to take out a big threat in Nichelle, and me and Banban will not be wasting it.

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Confessional: Banban

Banban: If I didn't make the merge for the third time, I'd probably kill myself! Might wanna call 'em suicide hotlines for this one!

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The members of Team Rose all walked to the elimination area, all of whom were staring on Nichelle the whole way through, as she was completely silent and sad.


"Team Rose, you're the second team to get single digit members! Feels pretty shitty, amerite?" Chris asked with a smile as some members groaned.

"Just get on with it faggot! I wanna fap to pictures of Taylor Swift alone!" Toby Queef said.

"We'll do so quickly. Gordman, do your thing."

"Fine. First off, Toby Queef!"

"What the fuck did I do?"

"You did admit to doing bad stuff mister." Cream reminded him.

"What's so bad about killing hippies? Hippie hunters should be national heroes in my opinion!" Banban said.

"Amy!"

"Ok, why me?"

"We need to list 3 all the time and I couldn't come up with a better one. Anyways: Nichelle!"

Nichelle looked defeated. "I know I know, just get me out now."

"We'll see about that." Chris said. "Or not."

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Confessional: Toby Queef

Toby Queef: One black person out, 3 more to go!

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Confessional: Dee Jay

Dee Jay: I-I just can't vote for Nichelle without feeling bad mon. I told everyone to vote Frisk cause she (?) is dead weight, but I'm not sure if they'll agree with me.

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Confessional: Bea

Bea: ...I don't like Nichelle, but what happened today was just horrible to her. I'm hoping she'll improve, but I'm also not certain if keeping her would allow that, or if voting her off will even do anything. I'm going to need to think more.

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"The votes have been casted, and the ones with no votes are:"

"Toby Queef"

"Take that hippies!"

"Banban"

"WOOOOOOOOOO! Common Garten Of Banban Win bro!"

"Sanders"

"Amy"

"Cream"

"Dee Jay"

"Bea"

"And we're down to just Nichelle and Frisk! Will the only veteran get out so soon, or will our token ambigously gendered fellow get sent away?"

"UGH! Just get on with it!" Nichelle yelled.

"Fine fine. The last one safe, with 4 votes is...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...Nichelle! Still in the game girl!"

"W-WHAT?! How?!" Nichelle asked herself, also shocking the others.

"Looks like one of the bigger threats on the team is still here, great." Boba Fett said.

"Seriously? Why am I still here? I don't deserve this!"

Bea then went up to her. "Look, I know we've had our differences and all, but after all this, I couldn't stomach voting you off in such a manner. Don't waste this chance!"

Nichelle wanted to speak, but didn't at the last second.

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Confessional: Nichelle

Nichelle: After all I said about her, d-did she seriously save me?! Why would she think I deserve this? M-Maybe she's not that bad?

Nichelle then had a light blush on her cheeks, which she immediately hid.

Nichelle: Oh Bea, why couldn't I we have interacted in a better way?

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Frisk then walked up to the dock without a care in the world.

"Any last words?" Chris asked, as Frisk didn't give any answers. "I guess not, bye!"

Frisk was then punched with the Fist Thingy of Despair straight into the TLC of Shame.

"Man, I miss doing that! Hope we never get a Nick and Donald situation any time soon! Anyway, this episode was...alright, nothing too special. As for the future: Is Nichelle's rivalry with Bea becoming something else entirely? Will Homer be useful for once? And will Cream and Amy finally have decent screentime? Probably not, but just in case, find out next time on

Total!

Drama!

Multiversal!

MADNESS!"


Duncan was at prison again, with a white guy as his cellmate. "So, how'd your teenage pussy get in here?" The cellmate asked.

"I blew up a reality show host's mansion. How about you?"

"Well lemme sing a little song about it: (warning: crazy amount of sexual lyrics)

She was lickin' my nuts (nuts)
Eatin' my skeet (skeet)
Now I'm locked up (up)
Beatin' my meat (meat)
Open my eyes, yeah
She was only seventeen
We was sippin' on yak (yak)
She takin' her clothes off
Now someone black's
Tellin' me to bend over
I realize, yeah
She was only seventeen

My life is a story of trials and jailbait
Why do I have bisexual cellmate?
I told some hoe to get naked
Now I'm in jail
And I'm gettin' butt raped, and
Shoulda told her to show me some ID
Before I know it
She was suckin' on my d-
In prison, I can't get into a gang
So I'm gettin' gang raped by Mexicans

I fucked up my life
Her butthole was tight
But not worth doin' time
'Cause now I'm gettin' boned in mine

I was up in her butt (butt)
Slappin' them cheeks (cheeks)
Now I'm gettin' love
From a guy named Jesus
Open my eyes, yeah
She was only seventeen
She was lickin' my dick (dick)
Givin' me blowjobs
Now I'm gettin' sex
When I'm droppin' the soap, and
I realize, yeah
She was only seventeen

When I was gettin' laid
Her age was of no concern
Now I'm gettin' AIDS
Them gays are takin' turns
And I just wish them homies would stop rapin' my cornhole
Come on, y'all
Go play basketball

How could I have ever known
That the hoe is underage
I just wanted her to give me and my friends a couple handjobs
Yeah
I was all up in her muff
I guess grass on the field isn't enough

I got a Jewish lawyer when I went to court
But my judge knew exactly who I was
And since when should a woman be allowed to be a judge?
They're all dumb

She was lickin' my nuts (nuts)
Eatin' my skeet (skeet)
Now I'm locked up (up)
Beatin' my meat (meat)
Open my eyes, yeah
She was only seventeen
We was sippin' on yak (yak)
She takin' her clothes off
Now someone black's tellin' me to bend over
I realize, yeah
She was only seventeen

If you ever got a hoe to take her pants off
And then the cops takin' you away in handcuffs
And Chris Hansen's sayin' "Why don't you have a seat here with me?"
Ninja, please

I shoulda never old a hoe to take her pants off
I shoulda never nutted up inside her asshole
Because the sperm in her butt was evidence against me
She told me she was forty-three

She was lickin' my nuts (nuts)
Eatin' my skeet (skeet)
Now I'm locked up (up)
Beatin' my meat (meat)
Open my eyes, yeah
She was only seventeen
We was sippin' on yak (yak)
She takin' her clothes off
Now someone black's tellin' me to bend over
I realize, yeah
She was only seventeen

I was up in her butt (butt)
Slappin' them cheeks (cheeks)
Now I'm gettin' love
From a guy named Jesus
Open my eyes, yeah
She was only seventeen
She was lickin' my dick (dick)
Givin' me blowjobs
Now I'm gettin' sex
When I'm droppin' the soap, and
I realize, yeah
She was only seventeen

In the case of the people vs. Rucka Rucka Ali
The defendant is found guilty
Enjoy getting your butt fucked by a man with many tattoos and questionable citizenship
Suck my balls!

And that's how I got AIDS in prison."

"Ok, maybe being dead for 15 or so years wasn't so bad."


That was a total shitshow. I was going to keep the reveal of Nichelle's crush a secret, but figured keeping it hidden for a dozen or so episodes was boring, so yeah, Bea x Nichelle is going to be the main couple, who would've thought?

Also a lot of obscure references.

Next episode will have a returning guest from the BFDI world, who will judge the cast's commercials! Don't worry, unlike Ts'ai, he's chill. At least if you're not purple, or pink or black, then expect him to lock you up in a box for years.

Ciao!