Childe was wracked by another bout of coughing.
The Narwhal really did a number on him. He was knocked out for more than a week after the fight. By the time he regained consciousness, he was already halfway to Snezhnaya. He had since been on house arrest, confined by his overprotective family. They wouldn't even let him get out of bed for the first few days. It took a lot of wheedling from his end to get permission to walk around. It was a few weeks before he recovered enough to get back to light training. The constant resting had been driving him mad. Now, he had finally been given a clean chit to go back to work.
That was how he found himself waiting at the Golden House. He had sent the Traveler a letter saying that his plans had changed and that he would be at Liyue for a week. He had some business to take care of before he returned to Snezhnaya. He hoped that she would come. They hadn't got a chance to talk last time with the Knave being there. He was looking forward to hearing about her adventures in Fontaine. He knew the gist of what happened but he wanted to hear it from the source. Speaking of which, he heard the door open.
"This opportunity is hard to—oof!"
She punched him. The Traveler actually punched him. She stomped up to him, knocked the air from his lungs, and nearly made him double up in pain.
"What in the world—?"
"You idiot." She nearly growled at him.
He blinked. "Huh?"
"What is wrong with you?! You can barely stand and you want to fight. Do you even have any concern for yourself?"
"Hey, hey, calm down."
"Don't tell me to calm down. You are being a complete moron about this, pushing yourself to near death, and you expect me to be calm?!"
He raised his hands in a show of surrender. "Well, girlie, as you can see, I'm perfectly fit and back to working."
She tilted her head. "Back to working? You mean you're back on Harbinger duty?"
He nodded. "I was called back to Snezhnaya for a project. I'm only here for now to tie up some things."
He didn't understand why her face twisted into a scowl or why her eyes were suddenly blazing.
"Does she not care at all?!"
"She who? And about what?"
"Does your precious Tsaritsa not care about whether her subjects live or die? Especially her Harbingers?"
"Watch it", he growled. "No one speaks of Her Majesty like that."
"Well, I don't care. If this is what she's like, it's fitting that she's the Cryo Archon. Her heart is as frozen as her element is."
"I'd suggest you stop talking. I'm not as benevolent as Her Majesty is, and you are treading a fine line. What's even gotten into you?"
"You nearly died!"
He blinked. Where was this conversation going? "What's that got to do with anything?"
Something in her expression broke, anger giving way to distress. "You nearly died and no one seems to care. Why can't you see that?"
"Come on, girlie. What are you talking about? I'm a Harbinger. I can handle a few injuries."
"You were bleeding everywhere. You overdid it with Foul Legacy. You didn't wake up for weeks. And then you have the audacity to tell me it was a few injuries?!"
He was alarmed to see her eyes mist over. (What was it with the Golden House and her crying?) She looked down, hiding her face behind her bangs. Her voice was so soft that he almost missed it.
"Why can't you see that your life matters?"
He was taken aback. What was she saying? He bent down to get a better look at her face. His voice was soft when he spoke.
"But I didn't die, did I? I'm right here."
There was silence until she spoke again. "But one day, you won't be. And I'll still be here. You won't be here because they don't care about what happens to you."
He reached out to hold her by the shoulders. "What's going on, girlie? What are you talking about?"
She looked at him, teary eyes shining.
"They'll kill you one day, Childe, and you don't seem to care. One day, your battle will be too hard, your opponent will be too much, and you'll die. And they won't bother because their agenda is the only thing that matters to them, not you."
"I won't die that easily, you know that. I can take care of myself. If I do die in battle, it will be the best death I can imagine for myself."
"What about the people around you? What will they do if you die?"
He paused. He didn't have anything to say to that.
"My family will be distraught, I know. But they'll make peace with it, knowing that I died in the line of duty."
"What about others? What about your friends?"
He let out a dry laugh. "Being a Harbinger doesn't leave much time for friendship, I'm afraid."
He didn't expect what she said next. "What about me?"
"What about me?"
She hadn't planned to say that. However, the dam had burst and she continued speaking.
"What about me, Childe? What will I do when you're gone? How will I feel? Did you even think that you matter to me, that I'd be sad if you weren't there? No, because you're selfish and arrogant and stubborn and you don't think—"
She was surprised when he pulled her into a hug, effectively shutting her up. He spoke softly, but she could feel the vibrations through his chest.
"I'm sorry. I'm not going anywhere. I didn't think that you'd be affected by what happened to me, and I'm sorry for hurting your feelings."
They stayed that way for a while, her dry sobs echoing in the Golden House. His jacket was damp with tears but she couldn't bring herself to care.
"Girlie?"
"I hate you, Childe."
"Ajax."
"What?"
"My name. It's Ajax."
She pulled back to look up at him.
"Lumine."
He chuckled. "After all this time, we finally introduce ourselves."
"Shut up." She whacked his shoulder.
"Seriously though, are you okay?"
She rubbed her eyes. "I'm okay. I'm just worried about you. You have no regard for your own safety. One day, you'll fight a battle you can't win. I don't want to have to see that."
He bent down, his eyes level with hers. She looked at him, his dull blue eyes having some unidentifiable emotion behind them.
"Lumine, I'll always come back to you. Pinkie promise."
They were on opposite sides. One day, she would have to go to Snezhnaya to face the Cryo Archon. One day, he would have to stand with his Tsaritsa. One day, they would be on the battlefield, blades pointing at each other. She would have to put her attachments aside and face the man she loved.
She knew she loved him. Whatever doubts she had, all of them had disappeared in the weeks following Fontaine. She had agonized over Childe—Ajax—and whether he was okay. She had kept her ears open for any news regarding him. She had even asked Lyney, Lynette, and Freminet if they knew anything about the Eleventh Harbinger. She had spent hours worrying about whether he would recover from his injuries in the Primordial Sea. She had frantically checked her mail, searching for any letter from him. She had shown up at the Golden House every single week, just in case he was there. She had been immensely relieved when she got his letter saying that he would be in Liyue, and had almost raced to the Golden House.
"—ine. Lumine!"
"Huh?"
"I said, I'll always come back. You don't need to worry."
She matched his gaze, her eyes sad. "Don't make promises you can't keep."
Ajax smiled at the latest letter he had received from Lumine. She seemed to be enjoying Natlan, finding the culture extremely different from anything she had encountered so far. The people there set a lot of stock by their traditions, each tribe having its own customs. That was another thing, the tribes. There were six tribes, vastly different from each other but coexisting in harmony. It was unlike other nations, where there was a common culture across the land. Sumeru was the only exception in that the desert dwellers had their own lifestyle.
According to her letter, music played an important role in Natlan. There were folk songs and traditional dances. Lumine had been pulled in by her new friends to participate in the dancing, learning the repetitive steps to follow the beat. He smiled at the thought. He could imagine her moving with the same lithe grace that she fought with. In his imagination, she was beautiful. Part of him wished that he were there to see her in person, maybe even join her. He loved to hear about her adventures, but he would have loved it even more when he was there with her. Commissions with her had taught him as much.
Just then, his mother came. "Ajax, there's someone at the door for you. It seems to be work-related."
He got up and folded the letter, putting it away in an inner pocket. When he opened the door, he found a Fatui agent standing outside.
"Tartaglia, sir, the Tsaritsa requires your presence at the Palace."
"Let me get my cloak and I'll be right there."
When he reached Zapolyarny Palace, he walked straight to the chamber where the Tsaritsa held her meetings with the Harbingers. He opened the door to find Arlecchino and the Tsaritsa speaking to each other. He approached them and knelt on one knee.
"Your Majesty. You asked for me?"
"Rise, Tartaglia. Yes, there is something that I need from you." She looked him in the eye. "What do you think of the Traveler?"
He was caught off guard. Of all the things she could have asked of him, this was not something that he expected. Still, he had to give an answer.
"She is a powerful fighter. She will give her all to what she believes in and to help people. That trait has made her loved by the nations."
"What is her opinion about the Fatui?"
"She does not agree with our methods or our intentions. According to her, the Fatui are trying to infiltrate and conquer Teyvat. That makes us villains in her eyes. She believes that it is wrong of us to take the Gnoses from the Archons and she will do everything to prevent it."
"And youâ"What do you think of our mission to collect the Gnoses?"
He blinked, confused. "Your Majesty, I do not know what you want apart from the fact that you need the Gnoses. All I know is that it is my duty to serve you and carry out your will."
The Tsaritsa smiled at him. "Do you even know what you are serving?"
Huh? This was getting weirder and weirder. He felt distinctly out of his depth. He couldn't understand what the Tsaritsa was getting at.
"I'm afraid I don't understand, Your Majesty."
"I'm talking about my vision for the Gnoses. Do you know why I'm collecting them?"
He shook his head. "No, Your Majesty."
"I will overthrow the Heavenly Principles. Using the power of the seven Gnoses, I will topple Celestia. For too long, they have governed us, destroying whoever stood in their way. But with the power of the Seven Archons, we will stand against them and end their rule."
She stopped to look at him. "However, there is one wild card in this situation—the Traveler."
Despite himself, Ajax swallowed. He had a feeling that he knew what was coming next. Fear stabbed his heart and his throat suddenly went dry. This was it; this was when he would finally have to face Lumine and it would not be a friendly fight. This would be the end of their friendship. This was when he would finally be ordered to strike her down.
Could he actually hold a blade to her with the intent to kill?
After a very long time, he was afraid; he felt terror at the thought of killing Lumine. He may be a bloodthirsty and ruthless warrior but he couldn't hurt the people close to him, and Lumine was one of them. He could fight her until they were both barely standing but ending her life was entirely different. He couldn't stomach the thought of hurting her and he would hunt down whoever dared to do so. However, refusing the Tsaritsa was out of the question. He had sworn, as her Harbinger, to do whatever she asked of him. He had terrified people into paying their debts. He had deceived half of Liyue to locate the Exuvia. He had almost stolen an Archon's Gnosis. He had fought, defeated, and killed people on her command. He had done everything she asked of him even if it went against his beliefs.
"Tartaglia, you have done well to befriend the Traveler. I believe that she trusts you and will let you get close to her. There is no one else who can carry out this mission. Stop her, no matter what it takes."
He couldn't do it. He couldn't hurt Lumine. It didn't matter what his punishment for disobedience would be. Killing Lumine would be the same as killing his family. He couldn't kill someone he loved.
His mind went blank for a moment. He loved her?
He loved her. He loved Lumine. He was in love with the damned Traveler who the Tsaritsa was about to put a hit out on. This was it. This was the end of him. This was the one order he didn't think he could follow.
He was about to open his mouth to reply when Arlecchino interrupted him.
"If I may, Your Majesty, I have a suggestion. We know that the Traveler is powerful. It would be a major advantage if she was on our side in the war against Celestia. "
The Tsaritsa turned to Arlecchino with a raised eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
"What if we appeal to her sense of justice and compassion to free Teyvat from the Heavenly Principles? I believe that she can be convinced to join us if we can explain to her that our objective is not conquest, but liberation."
"Hmm. Your idea has merit to it. Very well, we will try to bring the Traveler to our side. If she refuses and continues to oppose us, we will strike her down. I will not have my vision endangered. Tartaglia, you will speak to the Traveler. Bring her to me so that I may explain our intentions. If she does not agree, then you will make sure that she cannot oppose us, using whatever means necessary. Do I make myself clear?"
He released a breath he did not know he had been holding. His entire body relaxed in relief. He would not have to kill her. Lumine could be safe.
"Yes, Your Majesty. Your will is my command."
"Good. You may leave."
He saluted the Tsaritsa and left the hall. Once he was outside, he leaned against the wall and ran a hand through his hair. That was unexpectedly tense. To think the Tsaritsa had almost asked him to 'permanently incapacitate' Lumine. He didn't know why Arlecchino had intervened but he was grateful that she did. He would not have been able to execute the Tsaritsa's orders this time.
He loved Lumine. Slowly but surely, she had snuck her way into his heart. He was in love with the one woman who hated everything that he and his organization stood for.
Archons save him.
They had lost the Pyro Gnosis. Il Capitano had challenged the Pyro Archon to a duel, with the Gnosis being the prize. She had accepted, war being her nature. And then, she had lost. The Archon had lost to the First Harbinger, and along with it, the Gnosis.
Lumine nearly collapsed to the ground. Her morale was shattered. All her work, all her effort, and she couldn't protect the last Gnosis. The Tsaritsa finally had them all and no one knew what she would do. All around her, Natlan lay in chaos. The loss of their Archon had echoed through the land, sending the Saurians into panic. People were trying to calm them down, even as they realized that their Archon was weakened. No one knew what to do.
To add to the crisis, the Pyro Dragon had awakened and gone on a rampage. The forces unleashed during the Archon and the Harbinger's fight had woken it, and it was in search of the Archon that it had once known. It had taken all of Lumine's powers to manage to subdue it until the Archon could calm it down. The dragon was enraged by the loss of the Archon's authority and they had only just managed to contain it.
Lumine was battered and bruised all over. She was bleeding from several cuts and had burns everywhere. She could barely stay conscious, even as she ate healing items. The Archon had passed out from using too much of her power at once, without the Gnosis to draw from. Lumine somehow managed to lift the Archon and bring her out of the Pyro Dragon's cave.
Later, when she had reached her lodgings and patched herself up, she let herself cry. She cried for all her efforts. She cried for the nations that she had let down. She cried for the Archons she had failed. She cried until there was nothing left in her. She was exhausted from being the "famed Traveler" who could do anything. She couldn't save the nations, she couldn't protect the Gnoses, and she couldn't find her brother. She was just a person who had gotten pulled into Teyvat's crises. She didn't know how to save the world. She could barely save herself. Paimon fluttered around anxiously, trying to help her. The little fairy was saying something but Lumine didn't hear her. She was lost in her own head and her own demons. Ultimately, Paimon settled for sitting in Lumine's lap, hugging her until they both fell asleep.
The next morning, Lumine woke up in pain. The injuries from the previous day, along with spending the night curled up in an awkward position, left her hurting all over. She ate some healing items and then decided to have a warm soak to ease her poor muscles. When she finished, she found Paimon waiting for her, holding a letter. "While you were busy, this came for you."
"Hey girlie,
Sorry I haven't been able to write in a while. Between the Tsaritsa and Teucer, I'm constantly running around. How are you? Did you find any more interesting cuisine in Natlan? I'm looking forward to trying it. I'm especially curious about the different vegetables that you mentioned last time. It should be interesting to substitute them in the recipes you already know. Do you think any of them would be useful in A Prize Catch?
Teucer and Tonia were asking about you the other day. They really want to meet you and keep asking me when you'll visit Snezhnaya. I've told them that you're busy helping the Pyro Archon. When you're back, Teucer wants to hear all about the Saurians over there.
Speaking of which, I hope you're okay. I know that Capitano is deployed in Natlan. As much as I don't want you to face him, I know you eventually will. Promise me that you'll be careful when that happens. I trust your fighting abilities, but Capitano is the First for a reason.
When you're done in Natlan, come meet me at Liyue. I know we haven't been able to spar in a while. There's also something that I need to talk to you about.
Take care of yourself."
Lumine didn't know what to feel. Ajax's letter reminded her of her failure. Sure, he was concerned about her fighting Capitano but it was too late. They had already fought and lost. What was more, she had no leads on her brother. The Pyro Archon had no idea about Aether's whereabouts and she didn't know which god had abducted him. Like every other nation, she had offered to put up missing person posters.
Lumine was exhausted. Her journey seemed too long and she was getting nowhere. Aether was busy scheming in the Abyss to overthrow Celestia. The Tsaritsa had all the Gnoses to be used for Archon knows what. And Lumine was stumbling around blindly, trying to figure out her way.
She shook her head, breaking out of her thoughts. She needed to get a grip on herself. Her work in Natlan was done and she needed a distraction. Closing her eyes, she teleported to Liyue. She made her way to the Northland Bank and found Ekaterina standing in the lobby.
"I'm here to meet Childe. Is he here?"
The Fatui woman was visibly surprised but quickly gathered herself. "Ah yes, Master Tartaglia is in his office. I'll take you there."
She followed Ekaterina to a room on the first floor. Ekaterina pushed open the heavy wooden doors and entered the room, with Lumine following her.
"Sir, the Traveler wants to meet you."
Ajax was at his desk, surrounded by piles of paper. He looked up to see the two women standing at the door.
"Thank you, Ekaterina. You may go."
The Fatui woman nodded and left the room, even as he stood up. He crossed the room in quick strides and he was standing in front of Lumine.
"What are you doing here? Is everything okay?"
He pulled her to a chair and knelt in front of her, worry reflected in his eyes.
"What happened, girlie?"
"We lost it."
"Lost what?" His voice was soft.
"The Pyro Gnosis. Capitano defeated the Pyro Archon and took the Gnosis."
He sucked in a breath. "It's not your fault. Capitano is a formidable opponent. Even I admit that."
"That doesn't change the fact that we lost the Gnosis. Now the Tsaritsa has them all and Archons know what she'll do. The whole of Teyvat is in danger."
"That won't happen. Trust me."
She stared at him. "What do you mean?"
"The Tsaritsa does not plan to take over Teyvat. She has different plans for the Gnoses. You have to trust me when I say that Teyvat isn't in danger."
"Why should I believe you? You serve her. You'll always be a Harbinger, first and foremost."
"I may be a Harbinger, but I'm also your friend, and I take my friendships seriously. I'm not saying any of this to make you feel better; it's the truth."
She kept looking at him without saying anything. He took it as an indication to continue.
"I can help you. I know you're trying to talk to each Archon to find out about your brother. I can take you to the Tsaritsa. You can talk to her about your brother and she can explain to you why she needs the Gnoses."
Her face reflected her distrust. "Why would you suggest that?"
"The Tsaritsa herself extended the invitation. She wants to talk to you. Consider it a diplomatic meeting." He held her shoulders as he looked directly into her eyes. "You have my word that no harm will come to you."
She closed her eyes and sighed. If he was telling the truth, then she would be able to meet the Tsaritsa without having to cause an international incident. She wasn't keen on fighting the entire Fatui, including all of the Harbingers. But could she trust him?
Opening her eyes, she looked at him. His face was earnest and it didn't seem like he was deceiving her. Even so, she took his words with a pinch of salt. Harbinger or not, she still thought of him as a friend—much more than that. When he said it, she wanted to believe him. It was astounding what this man could make her do.
"Alright, I'll come with you to Snezhnaya."
She could have sworn that he perked up a little at her words. She just hoped that she wasn't making a mistake by trusting him.
"It's so beautiful!"
Ajax smiled without meaning to. Archons, this woman was so adorable. She had barely stepped off the ship and she was already mesmerized by the city around her. He knew that it was very different from Liyue and Inazuma. For one, it was winter and everything was covered with snow. Soft, white flakes fluttered down all around them. A few of them landed on Lumine's hair, not that she noticed them. Secondly, it was cold. Compared to the balmy Liyuean and Inazuman harbors, Snezhnaya was freezing cold. Everyone was decked out in wool and furs, that is, everyone except Lumine and Paimon. Ajax himself was wearing his thick Harbinger cloak on top of his "winter" uniform. He had also switched out his usual gloves for thicker, warmer ones. He was glad that he had the foresight to bring along an extra set of warm clothes because Lumine was in her usual white dress. He could see goosebumps rising along her arms and her face was beginning to turn pink. He couldn't stop himself from thinking about how cute she looked with the rising blush. He had seen her face flushed from exertion, and that was a beautiful sight in itself, but this was different. She looked innocent and beautiful, and he couldn't look away. He wondered—would she blush the same way without the icy weather?
"Come on, girlie. Suit up before you catch a cold. You're dressed too lightly for Snezhnaya."
She caught the bundle he tossed at her. She unfolded it to find a luxurious, thick, fur-lined cloak, gloves, and what looked like tubes of wool.
"What are these?"
"Leg warmers. You can wear them over your boots until we get you a good pair of warm boots. Even then, I'd suggest thick socks."
He watched as she shook the snow off herself and proceeded to put on the cloak and gloves. She tried to put on the leg warmers but found it difficult. She was wobbling on one leg as she tried to balance, and was failing miserably. He had to stifle a smile.
"Here, hand them over."
He took the leg warmers from her even as she tilted her head, confused. He knelt down in front of her and gestured for her to hold out her foot. When she did so, holding on to his shoulder for balance, he slipped on the leg warmer. He pulled it up her calf, making sure that it was secure. He may or may not have skimmed his fingers over her leg one more time, under the guise of checking things. Releasing her leg, he reached for the other one. She wordlessly lifted it and he put on the leg warmer. It sent a quick flutter of warmth through him, doing something so simple. It felt strangely intimate, more so because it was her. He helped his siblings all the time but never had it made him feel this way. He wanted to be the person helping her. He wanted to be the person she held on to. He wanted to see her blush in the cold. He wanted to hold her hand and pull her along the road to his home.
Archons, he was a sap. He was a sap and a goner and all his reputation as a Harbinger was about to go poof.
"All done, girlie. Come on, we're stopping by my place first so that you can rest up. In the meantime, I'll request an audience with the Tsaritsa."
He hailed a carriage and ushered her inside. Making sure that she was comfortable, he exchanged a few words in Snezhnayan with the driver. He entered the carriage and Lumine shuffled a little to make room for him. Soon, they were on their way to Morepesok.
He watched her as she excitedly looked out of the window. Paimon was equally excited and she chattered away, providing random tidbits of information as "Teyvat's best travel guide". Those two were inseparable and he knew that the little fairy cared very much about Lumine. Even if there was the running joke about "emergency food", he knew that Lumine would hunt down whoever harmed Paimon. It was the same for Paimon; she had given him grief after the initial encounter at the Golden House. Every time that he sparred with Lumine, he could see the little fairy hovering near the corner, watching to "make sure he didn't pull anything funny". It was cute how Paimon thought she could do anything against the Harbinger, but he knew she would try nonetheless.
Slowly, the exhaustion from the journey caught up to Lumine and he saw her eyes begin to droop.
"Hey, you should rest. It's a while before we reach Morepesok."
She turned to look at him. "Are you sure? I don't want you to feel ignored."
He refrained from pointing out that she had been ignoring him in favor of the scenery for a while now.
"It's okay, rest up. You'll need the energy to deal with my family."
He continued looking at her as she shuffled into a comfortable position. She leaned against the side of the carriage and closed her eyes. She pulled her cloak around herself, wrapping herself in a cocoon. Within minutes, she was out. She must have been exhausted to fall asleep so quickly. He knew from experience that sea voyages were tiring. The one from Liyue to Snezhnaya was particularly draining. It was no surprise that she was sleeping soundly.
Part of him felt happy that she was asleep. For one, it showed that she trusted him enough to fall asleep around him. His heart fluttered at the thought. She considered him a close friend, enough to accompany him home. She agreed to let him take her to the Tsaritsa. She trusted him, knowing that he was a Harbinger. Secondly, he could look at her without feeling like a gawking schoolboy. He was captivated by the way her dark lashes fluttered slightly as she dreamt. He wanted to brush her spun-gold hair out of her face from where it was falling over her nose and lips. He almost reached out to better tuck in her cloak around her. This tiny girl enthralled him and had him all but eating out of her palm. It wasn't just her otherworldly beauty; she had the strength to back it up. She was the only opponent who pushed him to get better and got better herself every time they fought. She was beautiful and strong and kind and a million other things that pulled him in and he had no problem being pulled in.
He settled back in his seat and let his eyes drift shut and let his eyes drift shut. It was a long ride and he may as well rest. His companion was lost in her dreams anyway.
