Chapter 14 I Am Normal
Was it safe to say that Pom Pom was finally feeling better? Eh… maybe. She honestly couldn't say. Sure, she wasn't cowering in a feeble position on the floor anymore, feeling as though everything in her world was being put into question. She could think coherently at least, and could make decisions and comprehend everything that had happened to her. But even still…
Pom Pom sighed. She dragged herself over to the window on the airship, looking down at the Mushroom Kingdom below. She had hated the Mushroom Kingdom for so long. Not necessarily because of the people in it (although yes, the Toads and humans never did treat Koopas kindly), but more so because of how every single last bad thing that happened to her happened here. She got bullied, she got belittled. She had met Viv here and was put on a path of confusion and pain. Nothing good came from Pom Pom's time in the Mushroom Kingdom, so she had developed a strong aversion to the place. Nay, a hatred for the place.
Shaking her head, Pom Pom went back over to the bed and sat down. Perhaps she should focus on something else. For example, she could think about getting to see the Beanbean Kingdom for the first time in her entire life. Despite moving around quite a bit as a kid thanks to her father's position in the army, she had never stepped foot in the Beanbean Kingdom. She had always wanted to though. She heard it housed some interesting locations, and that the people who lived here were quite unique. She had never even met a beanish person, and this was the perfect opportunity to do so.
Or maybe it wasn't. Pom Pom was more than likely going to stay in the airship during this trip, so she wouldn't be able to meet any new people. The only person who wasn't currently on the ship that Pom Pom would get the opportunity to talk to was Viv, which…
Oh goodness, she was starting to feel sick. Gagging as she thought about her potential reunion with Viv, Pom Pom lied down on the bed. Everything in her life really revolved around Viv, didn't it? She had been a monster, a demon that haunted Pom Pom. Every single little aspect of Pom Pom's life, from childhood to adulthood, could all circle back to her. How sick was that? How horrible was that? One person shouldn't have that much power, especially a person who everyone had been convinced wasn't real. Viv was a specter both figuratively and literally, so therefore, the fact she's had as much influence as she did didn't sit right with Pom Pom. She wanted to slam her fist into the wall. She wanted to scream at the top of her lungs. She wanted to throw a tantrum, despite being close to adulthood. She wanted to do anything to relieve the anger and hurt building up inside her. It was like a mountain that she was standing at the bottom of, and it cast such a large shadow over her that it was impossible to see the sun.
And yet… wasn't there some comfort to be found in the fact that Viv was real? Didn't the fact that Viv actually existed mean that Pom Pom was… normal? She wasn't crazy, she wasn't someone who had to take two doses of two different meds every single day. She was normal. She was a normal person; always had been, always will be. Her parents might not believe her if she went to them now and told them Viv actually existed. In fact, they'd probably wheel her down to her psychiatrist, or worse, the psych ward.
But at least Pom Pom would know in her heart of hearts that they were wrong. They had been incorrect in assuming that their daughter wasn't right in the head. They had been incorrect in thinking that she was different from everyone else in such a drastic way. They had been incorrect in thinking that Pom Pom would never escape from the shame. Heck, Pom Pom had thought that herself, and yet she felt like singing from the rooftops knowing that she had been wrong. She was normal, that's all she was. The realization that Viv had been real all along certainly inspired a lot of negative emotions, but there was a positive emotion packaged in with the bad. That being, relief. Freedom. She hadn't paid much attention to that emotion, but now she kept it front and center in her mind. She was normal. She was free.
She. Was. Free.
Or at least, she would be. She still had a lot of choice words to say to the Shadow Siren. But once she said those, she could finally and definitely move on. She didn't have to go back to her psychiatrist, she didn't have to take her pills anymore, she didn't have to do anything. She MIGHT go see a therapist, because as amazing as the revelation that she wasn't crazy was, she still had a lot of complicated emotions. She wasn't crazy, but the life she had lived and the things she held onto still had an impact on her. It would take a while before she was FULLY free.
But you know what? That was fine. She would gladly see a therapist. She would gladly work through her problems. Or, rather, her lack of problems.
With that thought, Pom Pom let out a breath. As she looked up at the ceiling of the cabin, her mind did something that it so often did. That being, think about Viv. Before, whenever her mind dared to think about her, Pom Pom would stop it. Those memories and the emotions they brought with them were far too painful and unpleasant. But this time was different. This time, she allowed herself to think freely.
…
"Where are you, Viv?"
Pom Pom giggled as she ran through the forest in search of her friend. She had checked behind most of the trees and had even climbed a few in order to find her. But even still, Viv was nowhere to be seen. She might as well have dropped off the face of the Earth.
Even still, Pom Pom was going to find her. It was her idea to play Hide and Seek, and she wasn't about to just throw in the towel. She was going to find Viv. She wanted to claim the pride and feeling of accomplishment that came from tracking down a difficult target. That was why Hide and Seek was her favorite game, after all.
"Come on Viv, you can't hide forever!" Pom Pom ran through the forest, which was probably a bad idea as that meant she could more easily miss something. But that didn't matter. She wanted to run, so she was going to run. "Yoohoo! Viv!"
Eventually, Pom Pom got to a clearing. She stopped, standing in place in order to catch her breath. Sunbeams shined down on her, which helped her to feel at least somewhat good. She took deep breaths, running through the places she had already checked in her head. She had searched through the Yoshi bush, passed by the big pine tree on the edge of the forest. She had checked all the important places, and realizing that made her puzzled. If she had checked everywhere, and Viv was nowhere to be found, what did that mean? Had Viv been moving around? She couldn't do that; that was cheating! They were playing Hide and Seek, not Hide and Seek TAG!
Letting out a breath, Pom Pom cupped her hands around her mouth. "OKAY, VIV! I GIVE UP! I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE!" She paused, listening for the sound of movement. "YOU CAN COME OUT NOW!" Still, the forest was silent. With the exception of some birds chirping in the trees, there were no interesting sounds. Pom Pom waited for about three minutes before groaning in frustration. "Seriously, if she doesn't come out, I'm really gonna have a nutty…"
"BOO!"
Pom Pom shrieked. Putting her hand to her chest, she turned around to see Viv right behind her. The shadowy girl was laughing, looking like she was having the time of her life. Despite the fact that she didn't appreciate Viv scaring her like that, Pom Pom eventually managed to laugh right alongside her.
"There you are!" Pom Pom walked up to her. "I've been looking everywhere for you!"
"I know!" Viv's golden eyes twinkled. "Believe me, I know."
Pom Pom grinned. "Where were you? I've searched the entire forest and couldn't find you!"
Viv grinned sheepishly. "Well… yeah, there's a reason for that." She curled a lock of her pink hair back. "I have a confession to make. I kinda cheated."
"Cheated?" Pom Pom smirked. "Ah, so you WERE moving between hiding spots!"
"Oh no, I stayed in one place the entire game. The thing is though… I decided to slip into the shadow dimension." Pom Pom blinked as Viv scratched her head. "My kind can slip into the shadows from time to time; it's kinda like teleporting mixed with going into another plane of reality." She looked Pom Pom in the eye. "Does that make any sense?"
"Not even a little bit."
"I thought so." Viv chuckled. "Really, all you need to know is that I pulled a dirty trick in order to win, and to that I have to say… I'm sorry about that."
Pom Pom grinned mischievously. "You should be sorry! I have a perfect win record as the seeker in Hide and Seek! I always find the hiders every single time, so the fact that you so RUDELY decided to break that streak? Shame on you, Viv!"
Viv and Pom Pom laughed together, the sound making some of the birds fly away from their place in the trees. "I know," Viv said after recovering. "I'm bad to the bone. I bring dishonor upon my family and everyone else."
Pom Pom giggled before going up and wrapping her arm around Viv. "It's okay, Viv. We can be bad to the bone together."
Viv laughed. "That's true! You and I can be the Terrible Twos!"
"We can wreak havoc on this world! We'll make everyone regret crossing paths with us!"
Viv smirked. "Would sure beat cowering in the corner and not getting the chance to live life the way I want." She beamed. "This is especially true because I would have my best friend to be bad with."
Silence. Pom Pom blinked as she looked at Viv. Her jaw dropped a little. "Wait." She slowly pulled away. "You think I'm your best friend?"
"Oh." Viv's purple face turned magenta. "I mean… yeah." She shrunk into the ground a little, now not looking at Pom Pom. "I mean… I know we haven't known each other for very long, but…" she sighed and took off her hat. "Sorry. I didn't mean to make things weird."
"You didn't, Viv. You really didn't." Pom Pom went up and took Viv's hand. "We are best friends. Always have been."
Viv's face changed back to purple as she smiled. "Thanks, Pom Pom. I… I needed to hear that."
"You're welcome." Pom Pom patted her on the back before chuckling. "Now, I do have a request. I am curious about this shadow dimension that you said you disappeared into. Do you think you can show me what it is? As a favor to your best friend in the whole wide world?"
Viv snickered. "Well, there's no way I can say no to that." Viv held out her hand. "You need to hold onto me when we do it."
Pom Pom eagerly took Viv's hand. She waited for a few seconds before Viv took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Before Pom Pom's very eyes, their surroundings changed. Everything was black, for one thing. The sky was black, and the trees were outlined in glowing purple. Pom Pom's jaw dropped as she observed this scene. She looked back over at Viv, who just smirked. Then, as quickly as it happened, the world changed back to normal. The sunbeams came down into the clearing again, and the colors were restored.
"Viv…" Pom Pom looked at her best friend. "That was so cool."
"Thanks." Viv paused. "You know, I think you're the first person I've ever showed the shadow dimension to. It… felt good."
"Yeah." Pom Pom grinned. "It did."
…
Pom Pom, despite everything, smiled as the memory came to a close. She hadn't thought about it in so long. In fact, out of all the memories she's had about Viv, that one was probably the one she avoided the most. The reason being was because she thought that memory made her REALLY crazy. A shadow dimension where everything looked different and odd? Talk about a horrible case of six-year-old delusion.
At least, that's what she thought. Now that she knew that Viv was real, she could focus on the beauty of that memory. Viv had said that Pom Pom was the first person she had shown the shadow dimension. That… made Pom Pom feel special. That was how she felt when the event initially occurred, and now she was finally returning to that feeling of specialness and joy.
Pom Pom frowned. She had a lot of complicated emotions regarding Viv, didn't she? There were so many ways to look at the situation, which made everything feel so dissonant. Pom Pom pondered over this, wondering if she would ever make sense of this. She wondered if she could form a concrete opinion on Viv. For that matter, she wondered if she could get used to viewing herself as normal for the first time in years. It was… daunting on some level.
"Pom Pom?"
Pom Pom sat up and saw Wendy in the doorway. A feeling of caution awoke in the cadet. "Wendy? Is everything okay?"
"Relatively speaking." Wendy stepped closer into the cabin, putting on a smile as she did. "It's getting close to lunch time, and I wanted to know if you wanted to join me. The food isn't as extravagant as it is in Bowser's Castle, but it's still pretty good."
Pom Pom grinned and rose out of bed. "That sounds lovely."
