When Squall woke up on Monday it was just after one-thirty. He couldn't remember the last time he had slept in that late. Before the tour had begun, his days off would involve sleeping in until noon the latest. Now, his internal clock usually roused him up around nine. He knew he was completely exhausted the night before, physically and emotionally drained hardly covered it. Circumstances notwithstanding, he stayed up later than he originally planned. He couldn't remember what time Ellone had showed up at his apartment or what time she finally went to bed, he only remembered staying out on the patio in complete silence until the sky had started to brighten with shades of pinks and orange.

It had been so long since he had stayed up all night to the point where dawn was approaching. The last time had been…

He didn't want to think about that now. Didn't want to think back to a night in his Jeep filled with breathy moans, sweaty bodies, and a shooting star.

As he had sat outside last night, his mind was completely blank. His body wasn't even working through static and routine movements, his beer and cigarettes remained on the ground by his feet almost forgotten. He was just…frozen. It was as if all the things he wanted to say, all the things he wanted scream out, all of it just holed up back inside him to lie in wait until he released it again. He couldn't explain it, knew only that it annoyed and frustrated him to the point where now he could feel a migraine starting to knock rudely behind his right eye. Feeling the migraine rearing its ugly head once more, Squall sat up and rubbed the heel of his palm over his eye socket.

A soft clank sounded in front of him, and he opened his eyes to see a plate filled to the brim with food.

"Eat," was all Ellone said, dropping down to sit on the floor with her own plate.

Squall blinked a few times as his brain started functioning again. He turned around to look at the kitchen. "Did you make this?" How did he sleep through her cooking an entire meal? The food smelled amazing. As sleep finally started to leave him, he was able to see exactly what was in front of him. Shredded meat and eggs smothered with chili sauce.

"I ordered in," Ellone told him. "I was going to make you something but…" She lifted her shoulders and poked at her plate with a fork. "You were out and I didn't want to risk waking you up. You seemed like you needed the rest. Plus…" She excitedly clapped her hands and handed him a fork. "Chilaquilas poblanos sounded so good right now." She scooped up one of the peppers and popped it into her mouth. "Now eat your huevos con machaca."

She didn't need to tell him a third time. The savory, spicy flavors beckoned him and he practically dove into the plate. "You went to Canela, didn't you?"

She nodded, her mouth full. "We haven't been there in a while but it sounded so good right now." She shoveled in a few more bites before speaking again. "I would have taken you out for lunch, but I didn't think going outside seemed favorable to you."

"Appreciate that," he grunted at her. He glanced behind his shoulder again. "Did you make coffee?"

"Brewed it yes. Made you a cup? No."

He nodded and rose from his seat to pour two cups. "Thanks for breakfast. Or lunch. Whatever."

Ellone arched her brow at his nearly empty plate when he came back to the couch. "Damn. Hungry?"

Squall handed her a mug and quickly downed the one he held in his hand. "After everything that happened yesterday…I don't think I had dinner. So, yeah."

"Practically Hoovered that down," she said between bites. After she finished, she scooped up the plates and placed them in the sink. "Do you have practice today?" she asked while she quickly rinsed the dishes.

"Tomorrow." Off to the side, Squall's phone chirped for his attention and he ran his thumb across the screen to look at the notification. It was Irvine, alerting each of them via group chat that the documentary had been posted on Hyperion Image's website as well as each of their social media platforms.

"You gonna watch it?" Ellone asked when he explained the text.

"Already seen it." He responded to the text with a simple thumbs up emoji and tossed the phone onto his bed. Yesterday seemed so far away now. The events of everything that happened last night slammed back into his skull and he sat back down on the couch.

"What're you going to do today?"

Originally, he didn't have any plans set for today other than his weekly grocery shopping and laundry. However, now he had no desire to commit even to his most mundane of routines. "I don't know yet."

Ellone smacked her tongue along the roof of her mouth and sighed. "Did you want to talk about it?"

"No."

She nodded. "Understandable. I wouldn't want to either."

"It's not only that I don't want to," Squall muttered. "My mind is just…" He made a vague gesture with his hand. "Blank."

"You're dissociating," she said. "It's not unheard of, especially when someone's been forced to relive traumatic events and get hit with a huge turning point in their life all in the matter of minutes."

He glared at her as she rounded the couch, her arms crossed, and head tilted to the side as she watched him. Last night she gave him space and allowed him to lead the conversation with only what Laguna had said. She gave him no advice or feedback aside from telling him not to focus on the 'what-ifs' of Life. "I hate when you do that shit," he said through clenched teeth.

Her brow lifted while the corner of her lips upturned just slightly in the faintest of smiles. "Do what?" she asked innocently. "Be a concerned sister?"

"Bring out all the psychological shit."

"Ah." She shrugged and lowered herself onto the couch. "Well, someone has to." The faint smile on her lips curved deeper into a wide grin. "Sweetie, I don't expect you to have a full-blown revelation about all this today, but you will have to come to terms with what happened. There are now two people in your life with whom you need to decide how far your relationship will now go. They can't make that choice for you."

He hated it when she was right. "I know."

"Don't jump at a decision just yet," Ellone said. "You're overwhelmed with a massive wave of emotions all at once. You're angry. You're confused. You're conflicted. You feel betrayed. You feel deserted. All of these are valid—I want you to know that—but most importantly I want you to know that it's ok for you to take the time to feel these emotions." She took a deep breath and twisted her lips as she watched him listen to her words, watched as he stared out ahead to the opposite wall. "I didn't ask last night but I will now: Did you lash out at Rinoa when she told you?"

He lowered his eyes, flashes of Rinoa's face stricken in shock when he yelled at her burned through his brain. He had never raised his voice at her before, never screamed or yelled. The memory of the way she jumped and stepped away from him tore at his heart in a way he had never felt before. "Yes," he said.

"And did you lash out at Laguna?"

Squall moved his eyes towards Ellone and shook his head. "Didn't get a chance to," he said. "He did most of the talking."

She made a noise within her throat to show she understood. "Do you want to talk to Rinoa?"

"Yes," he told her. "But not yet."


Tuesday, August 28th

Zell arrived at the storage facility and took note of Squall's Jeep. It wasn't abnormal for Squall to be early for practice, but Zell arrived twenty minutes before the previously agreed time, so Squall was super early. Absently, he picked up his phone and opened up the band's group chat.

Z.D: I'm here. Looks like Squall's here too.

Q.T: I'm like 15 min away. But I have to fill up my gas tank. Who needs snacks?

I.K: Me and Selph just got into the car. Be there soon.

I.K: Selph says Baby is craving chocolate donuts.

I.K: And BBQ chips.

I.K: Goddamn! And oatmeal cookies.

Z.D: Get me those spicy chips I like please.

S.L: Nothing for me, thanks.

Zell turned off the engine and started to pull his Gibson les Paul from the back seat. His phone buzzed again and he reached for it. This time it was a message from Irvine, outside of the group chat, and including only Zell and Quistis.

I.K: Be advised. Shit went down between Squall and Rinoa. Proceed with caution.

Zell stared at the words on the screen as if they had bitten him. "What the hell?" Quickly he shoved the phone into his pocket and finished bringing out his things. He entered the studio and saw Squall crouched at his kit, testing the spring of his pedals.

"Everything ok?" Zell asked, nodding his chin towards the pedal when Squall turned around.

"Just making sure," he answered. "They are old, after all. Wanted to make sure I don't have to replace them any time soon."

"Come on man, they're Cobras. Top of the line. But…you have had them since you were like eighteen." He sat down on Squall's throne and watched him work for a moment. They sat in silence for a while and before long the rest of the team emerged.

The two nodded at the group as they entered. Quistis raised her shopping bag of snacks and set it on top of the mini-fridge so she could get settled with her bass. "I know you said you didn't want anything but I grabbed you some chicharrónes anyway," she called out to Squall.

He responded with a quick nod of thanks.

"If he won't eat them I definitely will," Zell said, poking his fingers into the bag. "Oh hell yeah, you got the spicy kind!"

Quistis snapped the bag from his grasp. "I got you your own snacks," she said. "Those are for Squall. Back off." She narrowed her eyes and wagged her finger at him. "Piggy."

"Play nice kids," Irvine groaned. "We haven't been able to really practice in a while so let's get down to business."

"Hey, we did a lot of practicing for all the recordings," Quistis protested. "It's not like we're rusty! When is that going to be finished, do you know?"

"Should be soon, right? Kiros said they were just putting the finishing touches on it the last time we talked to him." Zell looped the strap to his guitar over his head and mindlessly strummed as he walked over to his amp and pedals. His eyes skimmed over Squall, who seemed to be off in his own world, staring out at the surface of his snare drum.

Irvine was scrolling through his phone to find the conversation. "Something like that. I'll text him tomorrow though, just to follow up." He tapped in a quick note into his calendar to remind himself. After closing the app, he turned to Selphie and handed over his phone. "You, my love, will be our playlist today. Just pick a song at random and we'll go from there."

"Will do!" She took the phone from him and settled herself onto the couch. As she scrolled through with one hand, her other hand grabbed her own phone and opened the camera. "I'll snag some pictures and videos of you guys too," she said.

"Sounds good." Before long, the four of them messing with their instruments, creating nonsense beats and sounds as they warmed up.

Irvine bobbed his head in time to the steady rhythm of Squall's kick drum and finished plugging in his amp. "What's the first song?"

Selphie flicked her fingertip over the screen of Irvine's phone. "Song #3," she called out, setting it back down on the cushion so she could hold up her phone to take a picture of Irvine running his fingers over the guitar's strings.

"You heard the lady."

They started the song, Irvine's gravelly voice filling the mic as Zell's riffs vibrated behind him and the tapping of Squall's hi-hat followed suit. However, before the song could fully kick into gear, Squall's timing went askew and the song came to a crashing halt.

"Fuck!" Squall pinched the skin between his eyes. "Fuck, sorry," he muttered. "I missed it."

Selphie lowered her phone and looked over to Irvine.

He approached Squall, mic still in hand. "It's cool," he said. "It's cool. Eyes on me." He pointed two fingers at Squall moved them towards his own eyes. "We'll start again, ok? No rush man, we're just jamming."

Squall nodded and twirled the stick between his fingers before shaking his wrists. "Yeah," he said lowly. "Yeah." His glare lifted, intense and focused as he and Irvine kept their gazes level.

Irvine nodded and brought the mic to his lips. "From the top. One. Two." He held Squall's stare as he started the lyrics over. "If you take a step towards me/You will take my breath away/So I'll keep you close/And keep my secret safe." With a finger raised, he pointed at Squall in a signal, and the drumsticks swung downward before keeping a soft and steady rhythm along the cymbals. Quistis and Zell followed in, joining seamlessly as the song continued.

"No one else has ever loved me/No one else has ever tried/I never understood how much I could take." Irvine leaned in, his eyes glaring straight into Squall's, the two of them keeping eye contact while Squall kept rhythm and the beats like a strong and steady pulse. "Then I saw the worst was over/When I laid my eyes on you/It was all that I could do to know my place."

Selphie picked up her phone and started recording. Seifer had mentioned to Irvine earlier that Absolute Lore's social media could do with more video recordings of snippets of the band. Whether it be band practice, hanging out, or just messing around with their instruments, Seifer made a point that the social algorithms seemed to favor video content more nowadays. She filmed Irvine, his gaze steady and intense while his hand was lifted and softly mirroring the tapping of Squall's hi-hat.

"Out of all the past illusions/Out of all the dreams come true/I was gone until I finally saw your face." His gaze shifted; a smirk cut into his lips as Squall moved once again.

The energy within Squall exploded and suddenly his arms wailed about, his wrists twitching as the drumsticks slammed against skins and metal. He found his rhythm once more, filling the studio with loud, aggressive, and heavy beats.

"If you cried out for more/If you reached out for me/I would run into the storm/Just to keep you here with me."

As Irvine continued the rest of the song, he stepped away, his eyes moving over Quistis and Zell who were sneaking peeks at Squall while they continued their harmonic ministrations. Selphie slowly moved the camera to capture the two blondes. Their fingers moving quickly over the strings, strumming and plucking, all the while keeping their instruments close to their bodies like a lover.

Selphie aimed her phone towards Squall, whose movements seemingly slipped back into control. His thrashing was still wild, heavy, and animalistic. But his eyes were hard and focused, glaring out towards the kit as if he were strategizing war. While his arms moved, the rest of his body was still. Selphie swallowed when she saw that he was mouthing the words along with Irvine.

"Out of all the past confusion/Out of all the common spite/Just tell me I am yours/'Cause you are mine…"

As Irvine continued to sing, Squall surged forward with his sticks, practically assaulting the drums and cymbals with heated fervor. The sounds coming from the kit were fiery, passionate, and filled to the brim with emotion that Selphie couldn't place.

After the song finished, Squall gasped for air and dropped his sticks to the ground. Quistis slammed her fingers over the bass's strings to halt any sounds and her eyes darted to Zell, who did the same. The concern etched into his face tugged at her heart and she looked over to Irvine and Selphie.

Selphie tossed her phone down into the couch cushions and rushed to Squall's side. He looked as if he couldn't breathe and buried his face in his hands. "Squall? Squall!" She looked over to Irvine pleadingly.

"Let's take a break," he said, nodding to the other two to play everything off as everyday normalcy.

"Yeah," Quistis offered. "Snack time!" She lifted the bass's strap over her head and carefully nestled it against the wall. "Have some water, Squall," she said as she hoisted up the shopping bag she had gotten from the gas station.

He dropped his hands into his lap and shook his head. "Just need some air." While he was no longer panting, his chest still heaved, and his eyes appeared glazed. Without another word, he left the room.

Zell went after him.

Squall was sitting on the curb, a lit cigarette already in his hands. As Zell sat beside him, Squall turned his head to look at him. "None of you are subtle, you get that?"

Zell leaned back against his elbows and gave him a smirk. "Neither are you, you get that?"

Squall swore and took a long drag. "I take it everyone's heard my business."

"Only out of concern for you," Zell said. After a long pause, he looked over to Squall and cocked his head. "Haven't seen you have an anxiety attack in a while. Did you want advice or a listening ear? If you wanted to talk about it. Either way, I'm cool with us just roasting out here and sizzling on the concrete like bacon and eggs."

"I don't want advice."

Zell shrugged and then fully lay down on his back, squinting as the sun's rays shone over his eyes. "That's cool," he said nonchalantly. "Then I won't give it."

They were silent again for a while. Squall's cigarette was soon reduced to a long stalk of ash and he chucked it away before grabbing a fresh one. "I'm still fucking pissed at her," he murmured, his voice muffled from speaking around the cigarette.

Zell said nothing, only nodded.

"But I miss her," he finally admitted.

"How could you not? Sorry." Zell pinched his lips together and moved his fingers as if he were turning a key.

"Can we talk about this later?" Now that he felt like he had control over his body once again, he wanted to focus on beating the hell out of the drum skins. It was the perfect outlet to take out all the pent-up frustration and emotion that ran rampant within his veins. He wanted to use the day and the time they had set aside to focus only on the music, and not the thought of a certain raven-haired beauty with a brilliant smile who infuriated and captivated him.

His feelings for her were all over the place. He wanted to call her and see if she was alright. He wanted to strangle her. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to drop to his knees before her to apologize for yelling at her. He wanted to ignore her. He wanted to stop staring at the picture that Quistis had taken of them in Winhill as he lay in bed missing her.

Last night as he clutched his pillow he flung it away from him when he discovered that it smelled like Ellone and not Rinoa, which then led to him washing his sheets in the middle of the night. He found the blue cardigan she had left in his car several months prior and wrung it in his fists as he waited for the dryer to finish. On the television he had Young Frankenstein playing and he thought about her quoting the whole damn movie, word for word.

"And then you come into my life and practically weave your way into my existence to where I can't even imagine a life without you," he had screamed at her. And it was true. So true to the fact that even when he told her to leave he still lived his day to day as if she were a ghost in his living room.

"What do you want?" Ellone had asked him. He knew that she was most likely asking about the situation with Laguna, but in all honesty, he couldn't even think about Laguna. All he could think about was her.

"We can talk about it whenever you feel like it," Zell was saying, bringing Squall out of his head. "Wanna grab a beer after practice?"

"Sure."

When the two re-entered the studio, they were greeted with the sight of Quistis poking Selphie's breasts. "You've definitely ballooned up," she was saying while Selphie nodded in agreement as she munched down on an oatmeal cookie. "I've read that the tits are the first to come in, sometimes before the belly."

"Lucky me," Irvine said with a grin.

"Not entirely," Selphie shot back. "Boobs look great but they don't feel great. Ugh, they're so sore all day and night that they can't even be enjoyed."

Irvine shrugged. "At least it's a great view."

Selphie made a face. "No. Don't even look at them. Even looking at them hurts." She shifted her shoulders and winced. "And bras are inventions from the devil."

"Get some bra extenders," Quistis said. "You don't wanna spend a shit ton of money on bras right now so getting some extenders should hold you off at least until your milk comes in." She cocked her head and twisted her lips. "Soon your boobs will be bigger than mine."

Squall only grunted and shook his head at the whole conversation while Zell stood, nearly mesmerized. "Shall we be the judges of that?" Zell asked, shooting the two girls a suave grin as he made his way back to his guitar.

Quistis let out a shriek of laughter and gave his shoulder a shove. "Behave," she grinned.

"Hey, it's Summer. We're due for a beach trip sometime soon, right?"

Irvine clapped his hands in agreement. "I'm all for it. Let's do it soon."

Selphie giggled and went back to the couch with her snacks. "Let my belly pop first, I don't wanna look fat."

"You don't look fat," Irvine sighed, rubbing at his eyes. "You are glowing."

She narrowed her eyes at him but sent him a quick kiss. "You have to say that," she protested. "I'm carrying your child."

"All the more reason I want to show you off. You look stunning. Pure and raw image of motherhood and fertility. A badass woman who holds her own, has her own career, can knock my ass around anytime it's needed…can't think of a better woman to become a mom." He grinned at the sight of a flush rising on her cheeks. "Alright, my devious little minx," Irvine purred. "Hit the randomizer and pick our next song to practice."

Selphie blew him another kiss and giggled as she looked down at her phone to scroll through Absolute Lore's playlists. "You got it." She pressed the shuffle function and then the next button. When the next song popped up, her eyes widened a fraction and her lips pressed together. Well shit, she thought. "The next song…" she began, wetting her lips. "It's um, it's Stars."

Since it had already been established that no one was skilled in the art of subtlety, all sets of eyes trained on Squall, who was now only staring at his hi-hat while he spun his drumstick within his fingers. His lips were twisted as he ran his tongue over his teeth. Finally, he clicked his tongue and settled his arms. "Alright," was all he said.


Friday, August 31st

A knock came at her door and Rinoa peered down her hallway. She wasn't expecting anyone. Her phone was also fairly silent aside from the texts from Selphie. The texts weren't too intrusive, mostly updating her about the videos and pictures she had uploaded from their practices and asking how she was doing. None of the texts asked the real question: If Squall had contacted her. He hadn't. And she hadn't reached out to him. Rinoa hadn't even looked at the content Selphie had told her that she had uploaded the day before. She couldn't bring herself to look at any of Absolute Lore's social media, or even the social media pages belonging to each of the individual band members. She wanted to give him all the space and time he needed but…it was eating her up inside.

Work was slow for her the rest of this week. Mostly she was at the studio helping edit some of Zone's other projects and placing orders for previous clients while he was out on a job for a realtor friend who was staging a new construction. When she wasn't busying herself with work, she went into a rage clean in her apartment and she was proud to say it had never been so spotless. Even her baseboards were pristine.

Another knock came and Rinoa slowly approached the door. When she looked out the peephole, she frowned at what she saw. Silently she turned the deadbolt and swung open the door, offering Zell a slight smile. "Hi," she said warily.

The smile he gave her didn't quite match his eyes. "Hi," he said back.

Rinoa gestured with her hand towards the living room. "Did…did you want to come in?"

"If that's alright?"

"Of course."

Zell nodded and slipped past her to sit down on her couch. He took a deep breath and patted his knees for a moment as he situated himself. "Well, this is awkward."

Rinoa made a sound of agreement within her throat and quietly sat on the other end of the couch. "Yeah." She curled her legs beneath her and grabbed a throw pillow, clutching it to her middle and absently picking at the corners. "If you're here to berate me," she said, "just do it. I deserve it."

Zell leaned back against the cushions and turned his gaze towards her. "No beratement," he told her. "Just…wondering how you were doing."

"Am I safe to assume you know everything going on?"

"Yes."

Rinoa sighed and rubbed her eye with the heel of her palm. "I miss him," she whispered. "It's only been…what, a few days?" It was five, but who was counting? "But my phone is so quiet and empty and…I miss him. We haven't gone this long without speaking."

Even when he was on tour and they wouldn't be able to speak on the phone, there was still some form of communication. There would be a text, an emoji, or even a gif. Sometimes he would even send her a reel that he knew would make her laugh. Even if it was just one little text or image, it was always there, a small sign that showed one was thinking of the other. Sometimes it wouldn't be every day, but the bond was still there and the whole not talking all the time was comfortable. But it was different then. Also, one wasn't severely pissed at the other.

"Is…he ok?" she asked.

Zell gave her a shrug. "He's…moody," he answered, rotating his hand in a so-so motion. "Everyone knows not to bring you up, so they don't. But he told me about it on Tuesday after practice." He rocked his head side to side. "Did you see the documentary yet?"

Rinoa shook her head. "I saw it was posted. I haven't had a chance to watch it yet."

"It's good," Zell said. "Real good. They did a bang up job on it." A sly smile crept upon his lips and he looked back over to her. "You're in it, you know."

"Oh good lord," she muttered. "Not me attempting to dance again?"

Zell let out a laugh, one that sounded authentic. "No…it's you shooting our set. Only for like a minute, maybe forty-five seconds at most."

"I'll have to watch it," Rinoa said. "Maybe tomorrow before I try to get some editing work done." She wasn't going to. But she wasn't about to say it aloud.

Zell only nodded, his blue eyes boring into hers with a calm and steady gaze that shot straight through Rinoa's spine. His face was etched with an emotion that she couldn't place and the fact that she couldn't instantly read him made her anxious. She wasn't as skilled as Squall was when it came to reading people, but the lack of Zell's bright and cheerful grin unnerved her immensely.

"Are you angry with me?" she quietly asked.

Zell shook his head. "More so surprised at the entire situation."

"I would've thought you wanted to knock my head off," Rinoa said, trying to offer a laugh to break the tension. "He's like your brother and I…hurt him."

He didn't laugh with her, but he did return a small smile. "One, I'd never hit a lady. Two, just because I'm not entirely happy with the whole thing doesn't mean I'm pissed at you."

"That's fair." She looked down and picked at the corner of the pillow some more. "What do you think I should do? I haven't tried texting him and I'm thinking it's best to give him space but…" She sighed. Waiting was the hardest part. She knew Squall was the kind who would take his time to think, maybe overthink, strategize and utilize every ounce of hypervigilance in his body, but waiting for him to call and either let her beg for forgiveness or tell her it was over was complete torture.

"Look, I can't speak entirely for him because something like this has never happened, so I can't be one hundred percent accurate on my assumptions. But…I believe he just needs some time. Some time and some space. Right now there's a lot going on and he's probably just going to want to focus on playing music, the one thing he can fully keep under his control and know exactly what to expect." Zell then gave her a softer, wider smile. "I don't believe that this is the end for you two, Rinoa," he said earnestly. "I really don't. Was this a huge ass mistake? Absolutely. Can you guys move through this? I think so. I see why you did what you did. I see how it is a very loving gesture. But I also see his side and how it was a breach of his trust. Stay strong, Rinoa." He reached out and gently took her hand to give it an assuring squeeze. "Stay strong. Give him some time." Then he narrowed his eyes and gave her a playful smirk. "And don't do this shit again."

Rinoa let out a sputtered laugh and wiped her eyes. "Oh, trust me. I don't think I'll even help pick out furniture for him again without asking for his approval about fifty million times."

Zell's brows furrowed. "You picked out the coffee table?"

She nodded. "We went that Sunday morning. God, it feels forever ago."

"It arrived yesterday. Apparently the shipment came early so it was expedited."

"That's good. I hope he loves it."

"Me and Irvine went over last night and…well he wanted me to do something to it."

That made her heart skip a beat. "What, did he want you to smash it into a thousand pieces?"

Zell chuckled and shook his head at her. "No, no, nothing like that at all. Painting is an old hobby of mine. Nearly all my furniture back in my room are covered with some sort of pinstriping."

"I remember seeing that artwork on that dresser," she said, thinking back to the blaring red and white detail that stood out against the glossy black. "You did that? It's amazing."

"Thanks. I do miss painting sometimes. I don't get to do it as much as I used to. Anyways, Squall asked me to paint the coffee table for him while we were hanging out last night." He shifted and reached for his phone while Rinoa sat in silence, waiting to hear the point of the story. "I kinda had this feeling while I was painting it," he told her. "But…like I said, I don't believe that this is the end for you." He scrolled through his photo gallery and found the picture he was searching for. "Here." He handed the phone to Rinoa.

She took it gingerly, her mind running at what could possibly be painted on the table. When her eyes scanned over the screen, she paused. Her lips rolled between her teeth in an almost painful bite. She swallowed and tried not to cry.

In the center of the lid was a skull of lion, very reminiscent of the tattoo that was imprinted on Squall's lower abdomen. Surrounding the skull, however, were thin lines of white in the shape of angel wings.

"It's beautiful," she whispered. "But I'm not sure what this means."

"Neither do I," he admitted, taking his phone back. "He's pissed as hell at you, but I don't think he's about to give up on you just yet. Like I said, give him some time. And don't do it again."

This time Rinoa let out a genuine laugh that she felt vibrate across her entire body. "I don't know how much time he needs, but he's free to take it."

"With that said…" Zell spread his arms and gave a theatrically long sigh. "Come on, bring it in."

Rinoa all but pounced on him, wrapping her arms around his waist and burying her face into his chest.

He squeezed his arms around her. "We like having you around," he told her. "And we know Squall likes having you around the most. You're not just 'the photographer' anymore and you're not just 'Squall's girl.' You're our friend. You are a part of our little group whether you like it or not."

Rinoa couldn't help but let a few tears fall before furiously wiping them away on Zell's shirt. "Oh, I like it," she laughed. "I really do."


Saturday, September 1st

It was only late afternoon, but he wasn't sure if she'd be home. When he saw her car in its usual parking spot, he had to remind himself that it didn't mean she was there. But as he walked up the steps leading to her apartment, he could hear music filtering through the screens of her open windows.

As he stood on her landing he glanced down at her welcome mat, a simple tanned rectangle with black letters stating: You again? he hesitated. Before he could convince himself to walk back down the steps, he raised his fist.

Squall knocked on the door slowly.

When the door finally opened, he clenched his jaw as he took note of the redness around her eyes and nose. Rinoa gave him a quick once over and nodded at him in greeting. "Hi," she said softly.

"Hey." He held up the carry tray of two coffees-to-go as a truce. "Can we talk?"

She pressed her lips together as her eyes glazed over the coffee and she stepped back to let him in. "Of course." She gratefully took the coffee cup he offered her and sat down at her little dining table where the rest of her cheese Danish was resting.

Squall sat down in the seat across from hers and wrapped his fingers around his own cup.

Between them the silence was maddening. The air was thick and heavy as one waited for the other to speak first. Out of nervous habit, Squall started to quietly drum his fingers along his cup as he stared at Rinoa picking at her Danish.

Rinoa broke the silence first. "Squall, I just wanted to say I'm so sorry," she whispered. "What I did was wrong, I know that. I knew that. Even Caraway told me it wasn't a good idea but it didn't really hit me how terrible of an idea it was until I was already so far gone. I never intended to hurt you. I shouldn't have done any of all that."

Squall nodded and took a deep breath before leaning back into his seat. "No, you shouldn't have," he said softly. "But I'm sorry for going off on you the way I did."

"You have every right to be angry with me," she told him. "I never knew about your past with your foster homes, not fully. There were unspoken boundaries that you've held and I didn't just step over them, I barreled through like a goddamn tank." She took hold of the coffee cup and slowly chugged it down. It was sweet, French vanilla coffee with a bit of whipped cream topping. Even when he was pissed at her he still gave her what she liked. "I shouldn't have tried to find him. I should've just minded my own business. I'm sorry. I just…"

He held up his hand in hopes of calming the storm of words that continued to spill from her. "I know," he said, his voice low and gentle. "I know." He took a deep breath and reached forward to take her hand.

The contact was so small, so minimal, but it spoke volumes. Rinoa pressed her lips together and clutched at his fingers almost desperately. "But you never expressed any desire to find out who your father was. I should have respected that. I should have asked first…"

"And I probably would have said no." Softly he ran his thumb over her fingers in a circular motion. "I met him."

Rinoa's eyes widened. "You did?"

"I ran out after you. It took me about two minutes to regret screaming at you like that. When I got downstairs you were already gone and…he was still there."

Rinoa remembered how Laguna tried to prevent her from driving off. The worry etched in his face and the begging tone in his voice still blazed in her skull. She knew it was never 'smart' to drive when you're nearly blinded by tears, but she also knew that she couldn't stay there. Not when Squall had told her that he did not want her there. "I told him to leave," she said quietly. "That you weren't ready and that…" She shook her head. "It doesn't matter now. How did it go?"

"Surprisingly well." Squall leaned back in the chair, the metal creaking at the movement and he retracted his hand to clutch at the coffee cup. "He did most of the talking."

"You didn't say anything to him at all?"

He shook his head. "Not much." He gave her a brief summary of the conversation and that Laguna ended the night with his offer of his business card and that he would allow Squall to set the pace, if any at all was so desired.

"You haven't texted him at all, have you?"

"No."

Rinoa shifted in her seat and leaned against the tabletop, the metal groaning from the pressure. "Well…and you can tell me to fuck right off for this but, maybe contacting him won't be so bad? I mean, you don't have much family, just Ellone. Maybe this could be a good thing?"

He was about to answer but the chairs kept creaking and the two of them looked at each other. "Sorry, can we move to the couch?"

Rinoa let out a short laugh. "Sorry, maybe this is why I found them in the dumpster. I was planning on going sometime this weekend to find some cushions." She stood from her seat and followed him to the couch.

He sat on one end, and she sat on the other. As she had when Zell came over, she grabbed a throw pillow and grasped it against her middle and tucked her legs beneath her. Even though there was only one couch cushion in between them, he seemed so far away and yet too close at the same time.

Squall raked his fingers through his hair and sighed. "Blood doesn't always mean family," he told her. "You know that." He lifted his arm so it rested along the back of the couch. "Sometimes the family you make on your own has more meaning and depth than the one given to you by blood. The band is my family. They are my brothers and sister. Selphie, like a sister-in-law. Growing up I had Zell and his parents. Ma took me in and treated me like another son. Ronnie, Zell's dad, while not entirely a father figure, he was a steady male role model in my life before he passed."

Rinoa nodded. "I'm so sorry," she whispered. "When did he pass?"

"We were around fifteen. He was in my life long enough where I have great memories with the Dinchts. If they were able, I'm sure they would have adopted me. But they helped Ellone a lot as advocates and to give her resources to try and get me out of foster care. So, now that I've had time to think about everything, while I now find that I am grateful that you found Laguna and it has answered some questions…I already have my family."

Rinoa couldn't help but take note that when he spoke of family, she wasn't mentioned. She chewed on her bottom lip and nodded. "Of course," she whispered. "You already had your family. So there's really no need to add to it, right?"

He said nothing but frowned a little at her words.

"The band is your family and that takes precipice…" Now she frowned as she tried to figure out her words.

"Precedence," Squall said.

"Precedence —thank you—over anything else. Relationships included. So I know that maybe this whole fiasco I've caused has shown you that your focus needs to be on the band only. And I totally understand, we all have our careers and need to think about those and…"

"Rinoa," he said, his eyes closing and his hand reaching up to his face to rub at his temples. "Stop talking."

She let out a breath and clamped her lips shut, grateful that he stopped her. Her ramblings were beginning to confuse even her. She wasn't even sure where her train of thought was leading towards other than a dumpster fire at the bottom of a cliff.

"I'm not breaking up with you."

Her heart fluttered within her chest, and she was sure she had misheard him. Instead of asking him to clarify, she just stared at him.

Finally, he opened his eyes and locked onto her. "While I was furious with you, what you did was…huge. It's something I never would have done myself even if I had known how to look him up in the first place. I don't know what the next step for us is—Laguna and I, not us us," he added. "But I do know that I'm not letting you go."

Rinoa swallowed. "But…why?" she gasped.

"I don't want to," he said simply. "I don't think of the future often. The only thing I ever think of is someday moving out of the city and getting a place out in the woods somewhere. Somewhere where I won't have a shared wall or noisy neighbors."

"And you can see the stars."

A grin cut into his lips and Rinoa could feel warmth spread through her veins at the sight. His arm extended over the couch cushion between them, his fingers gingerly reaching for her. "You're too far," he said lowly. "Come here."

Rinoa set the throw pillow onto the ground and moved herself so that her legs climbed over his thighs. She didn't sit on him, only encircled her ankles around his waist and leaned in towards him so that his outstretched hand rested along her bicep while his other clutched her thigh. "You want a little cabin in the woods?"

"Something like that. It's something I've always envisioned for myself. And now, after having you in my life, every time I think of that cabin I always see you there. I wake up and you're the first person I want to see, to speak to, to hold. I don't know what my future entails, but I do know that it involves having you with me."

She felt the beginnings of tears sting her eyes but she tried her hardest to hold them at bay. "These last few days have been killing me," she whispered. "I thought I had ruined all chances with you."

His grip on her thigh tightened for a moment before his fingers trailed upwards and laced with hers. "I was afraid of that too," he said.

"Tell me more about this cabin," she murmured. "You've never talked about a goal of yours before, please, tell me more."

His fingers squeezed hers. "I don't have it all mapped out," he said. "Haven't looked at property or anything but…I envision something long-term. Four bedroom, two and a half bath. Master bedroom with a fireplace in it."

"With a bear skin rug?"

"Fake, of course. I find taxidermy an art at times but something about having a dead animal stare at me as décor doesn't sit right. One bedroom will be my drum room, the walls lined with soundproof padding. Another bedroom will be your photography office."

Rinoa preened at the thought and she found her toes curling as she listened to his vision with her mixed within. "And the last bedroom?"

He shrugged. "Probably a spare bedroom for the rest of the band if and when they come over and drink too much and don't want to drive. We'd be out in the middle of nowhere so…" The hand along her arm lifted and coiled a lock of hair around his finger. "I'll put in shelves along every wall for all your books and mugs."

Rinoa tilted her head so her cheek filled the palm of his hand. "Oh Squall," she rumbled. "Sounds like a dream." She could imagine it as well. She could see herself and Squall looking out at the night sky, steaming mugs in hands, all the while talking about the band and Rinoa's latest photography gig. She could even imagine them, in their forties, lounging in the living room covered with a flannel quilt and watching something on an obscenely large flat screen. Squall would insist on it, of course, because if men agreed on one thing and one thing only, it would be that no home would be complete without a large screen that took almost the entire wall.

"A dream we can work towards making come true," he said lowly.

She smiled at him and her fingers carefully crept up the length of his shirt, softly pinching at the pendant that dangled from his neck. "Together?"

"Together," he promised.


"Song #3" music and lyrics (c) Stone Sour