(The following is a nonprofit work of fanfiction and is outside of the original canon. All names, characters, businesses, places, events, and/or incidents of any kind depicted within this story are being used for entertainment purposes only.)

(The Loud House and all related characters were created by Chris Savino and all rights belong to Nickelodeon.)

I just want to say that I am sooooo sorry for taking a long while to post this new chapter. Writer's Block can be a real pain in the butt sometimes. Well, as you can see, I am alive and well, and I am still very much determined to finish writing this story even if it kills me in the end.

And I would also like to apologize If I keep going back to re-edit a few of my previous chapters from time to time and if it might be causing some confusion. It's only because I'm trying to find better ways to tell the story and make it more understandable and well-written.

Anyways, I hope that this chapter will make up for lost time, and I look forward to seeing your reviews and read what you guys think. ^_^

Have a good day, and a good Fall. Peace!


- Chapter Nine -

To Flip's and Back

Friday, June 12th.

1:35 pm...

It was a particularly hot day that early afternoon.

Thankfully, the weather was just at the right temperature, which made it more comfortable; the sun blazed pretty brightly, and the blue sky was all clear as crystal with not one cloud in sight. So, we took this opportunity to have ourselves a fun little sprinkler party. The "sprinkler" we used was our Willy Water Bug, which we got out from a cardboard box in our house's attic. We hooked it up to our garden hose, turned it all the way on, and then the water sprinkled almost everywhere through the long noodle-like tubes from its head.

Dressed in their little swimsuits, Lola and Lana chased each other around the Willy Water Bug, laughing and screaming as they did so, not at all minding the water that sprinkled all over them. At a certain yet safe distance away from the chaos that were the Loud Twins, Lori was relaxing in an unfolded lawn chair on the left side of the yard close to the driveway, dressed in her respective bathing suit. Leni, however, laid down stomach first on a spread-out beach towel next to Lori's right.

A boombox, or "ghetto blaster" as they were called back then, rested between the two with Cyndi Lauper's Girls Just Want to Have Fun playing at a high volume through the speakers. In Lori's left hand was an ice-cold glass of lemonade-flavored Kool-Aid while Leni was reading a recently released copy of D magazine. Lynn and Luan were at the far-right side of the yard carefully throwing a frisbee out for Charles to catch into his little mouth, and Lily sat square in the center of the overfilled kiddie pool, giggling as she played with a few of the little bath toys.

Lucy, however, while all dressed up in a black 19th century-inspired swimsuit—the kinds that were striped back-and-white—was sitting quietly by herself on a cushioned wooden bench on the far-left side of our front porch reading Bram Stoker's Dracula. Ever since the day she was born, Lucy Loud was not the type of girl who enjoyed going outside and playing under the hot sun like the rest of our siblings. But the reason for that was not only because she was a nine-year-old goth girl who preferred the comfort of being in dark places—both literally and figuratively. It was also because she burned very easily.

It kind of makes me wonder at times if she really is a vampire after all, I mentally commented.

Lisa, meanwhile, was upstairs in her bedroom—which also served perfectly as her makeshift laboratory—brewing up what I could only guess was another one of her experiments, and Luna was out on a date with Sully downtown. And me? I just sat there on the bottom of the stairs of our house, watching everything while finishing up on what was left of my Nestle drumstick. I was dressed up in my own choice of summer clothing, mainly consisting of a sleeveless orange T-shirt and a pair of knee-high jean shorts.

"I'm gonna get you, Lana!" Lola shouted, still chasing after her twin sister with a red water balloon.

Once she had found what she believed to be the right moment, she chucked it as hard as she could. With surprising agility, Lana easily dodged the incoming water balloon by a few inches. Instead of hitting its intended target, it flew over and hit the grass-covered ground on the other side of the yard towards Lori and Leni. The balloon exploded on impact like a bomb, causing the two older girls to flinch from the sudden spray of sprinkled water, just very close to hitting them.

"Hey, be careful!" Leni said. "Lori and I are, like, trying to relax over here!"

"Yeah!" Lori agreed with an annoyed look on her face. "So, if you guys literally don't mind, the two of us would like to do our sunbathing in peace, thank you very much!" Lola glared right back at them.

"Well, excuse us for trying to have some fun on a hot and sunny afternoon," Lola muttered unhappily, putting her hands on her hips. Within the next few seconds, she and Lana went back to playing and chasing each other around the Willy Water Bug, like nothing happened. I could not help but look over at my eldest sister with both a frown and knitted brows.

Jeez, Lori! Who died and made you queen of the lawn? I remarked in my head before taking another big bite of my ice cream. Just as I was about to lean back a little bit and relax some more, I heard the sound of the front doorknob being twisted clockwise. I turned my gaze around just in time to see the front door swing inward, and our mother suddenly appeared from the other side of the screen door.

"Hey, Lincoln!" she called me. "Can you to come inside really quickly for a minute? I have a little job for you!"

A small groan escaped from under my breath. Just by hearing that last part of her sentence gave me a pretty good idea what kind of "little job" she had instore for me. And I was not looking forward to it at all. Sucking in my bottom lip, I quickly finished up my drumstick ice cream before standing up to my feet and following my mother back inside the house until both of us were now in the living room.

"What is it, Mom?" I asked her in an unenthusiastic tone.

"I need you to run down to the store and buy some groceries for me." Mom explained as she searched through her purse. Upon hearing those words, my skinny arms slackened, hanging limply from my shoulders. It was exactly what I feared it would be. I looked straight up at her with a disbelieving expression on my face. Right when I was about to open my mouth and say something in protest, I changed my mind almost without delay when I realized that arguing with her about it was not going to be of any use.

On many occasions like this one, whether it was because Mom or Dad forgot about it while they were out or were unable to do so themselves for some reason, they would entrust either me or Lori to head down to the closest store in town and buy a bag of groceries for them. And it would appear that that Friday was another one of those times, and it was clearly my turn to go out for this task. I stood there watching my mom go through her purse until she found a pen and a torn piece of writing paper.

"Didn't you already get a bag of groceries today?" I managed to ask.

"I'm afraid not, honey," Mom said as she wrote down her list. "I completely spaced it out when I was on my way home from the bank this morning. I could still go there right now, but to be honest with you, I'm actually pretty tired at the moment." I furrowed my eyebrows at her.

You don't even look that tired, I thought, as I closely studied my mother's features. I sighed again.

"So, what exactly am I getting this time?" I asked.

"Not a lot," Mom assured, handing me her grocery list. "Just enough for one bag's worth, nothing more than that."

After she explained this to me, I drifted my gaze down at the list and I carefully examined the specific items she wanted; one glass bottle of whole cow's milk, two loaves of Wonder Bread, one box of homestyle Eggo waffles, one large container of Folgers Coffee, two cans of Campbell's Tomato Soup, and one tube of Colgate winter fresh toothpaste. Reaching back into her purse, she went through it again until she eventually drew out a ten-dollar bill and placed it in my one open hand.

"Just head down to Flip's Food & Fuel," my mother instructed. "I'm not in the mood of buying anything expensive today at Kmart."

"Can I at least buy something for myself?" I asked, looking back up to face her. She thought about it for a second before finally nodding her blond-haired head.

"Sure, that's fine, sweetheart," she confirmed. Hearing her say that brightened my mood a little bit. "But it has to be only one item. And nothing with a lot of sugar in it either. Understand?" And just like that, my mood went all the way back down to a big fat zero.

Dang it! So much for the chance of getting a cherry/blue bonanza Flippee.

"Yes, ma'am," I mumbled begrudgingly, stuffing both the list and the ten dollars in my back pocket.

"Don't be gone for too long though!" she called out to me, as I was heading back outside. "And try to stay out of trouble!"

"I will!" I called back. Outside again, I darted past Lori and Leni through the yard and headed towards the garage which was directly on the right side of our house.

That was where I found my bike lying peacefully up against the flattened surface of the seven-foot-wide sliding door. It was a 1982 Kuwahara-brand BMX, the kind that was used in and made popular thanks to the movie E.T. It even came with an all-white square-shaped plastic basket that was mounted on the front. After climbing up onto my bike, I peddled down the driveway past Vanzilla—until I heard Lori's voice suddenly call out to me.

"And where do you think you're heading off to?" she questioned curiously.

"Mom wants me to ride down to the store and buy some groceries!" I explained before reaching towards the end of the driveway. "I will be back as soon as I can! See ya!" My older sister basically half-shrugged, mouthed the word "Okay", and then casually went back to her sunbathing. And with that, I quickly took off down south through the neighborhood like a bolt of lightning, carefully riding next to the sidewalk.


The hot summer wind blew against my face as well as caused my white hair and medium-length mullet to flutter like a cape. As the sun continued to display itself in all its blazing glory, I took in a deep breath of the afternoon air, filling my lungs up until I was forced to breathe it back out. A good-natured smile began to take shape on my face. But then, it momentarily disappeared within a matter of seconds when I remembered why I was even out here in the first place.

This would be more enjoyable if I wasn't being made to run an errand for Mom right now, I thought, riding further southward into town on my bike. Just why did she have to pick today to send me out? It kind of would not have surprised me if Mom was also using this as an excuse to get me outside more. The more I thought about it, the more I came to realize that in the past week, I did almost nothing but sit around both outside and inside the house. During those times, I was either watching TV, reading a comic book, or playing on my brand-new Nintendo.

Still, I would rather be doing one of those three things instead of this right now. I thought. Fortunately for me, Flip's was not that far away, being only a couple of short miles ahead from my current location. After rounding a corner and peddling down another mile or two, I began to slow down when my main destination finally entered my line of sight. I came to a full halt when I reached the curb, and I stared at the place that stood in front of me.

Flip's Food & Fuel was a convenience store and gas station. The building itself was square shaped and it sat in the middle of a wide-open parking space. The walls were painted white, and the lower base was crowned with black tiles. A lone red gas pump stood idly out in front of the store next to a disused steel flagpole and a blue payphone could be seen located next to the left side of the store.

The front glass windows themselves were covered in a large number of stickers and advertisements. Some of the stickers were so old and faded, you could just barely make out their original color scheme or read whatever they said. I climbed off my bike and guided it over next to the red gas pump, and then I pushed out the kickstand to keep it from falling. I walked over and stood in front of the glass door. The second I had pulled it open, the aged brass bell above jingled noisily, the ever so traditional sign for all convenience stores that it now had a customer.

A few of the overhead lights were shining brightly while a very selected few were already burned out for Lord knows how long, and I could just faintly hear the latter half of Peter Gabriel's Sledgehammer playing in the overall background of the entire store. Sitting promptly behind the counter ahead of me while reading what appeared to be this morning's newspaper was Flip Phillipini himself—the store's namesake and owner. The very second the bell rang through the store; Flip turned his head to the side to face my location.

"Hey there, Loud," he greeted me in a cracked-sounding voice. "What can the Ol' Flipster do ya for today?"

"Oh, I'm just running an errand for my mom, Flip," I explained to the man. "She forgot to pick up some groceries when she was out today." The middle-aged store owner plainly shrugged his shoulders.

"Well, that's what you get sometimes, kid," Flip remarked, before going back to his newspaper. "If there's anything you need, just let the Flip-a-Roony know."

I could start by asking you to quit selling those fake lottery tickets of yours. I remarked in my head.

Pfft, like he would actually listen to a little squirt like me. After saying that I would see him in a couple of minutes, I walked away and started to hit the aisles, rounding up all the precise items on my mother's shopping list—all the while making sure that the expiration dates had not been tampered with in the process. Seriously, ol' Flip was so much of a corner cutter that he was brazenly willing to sell expired food products in his own store. It was kind of a wonder that somebody—including myself—hadn't reported him to the health department years ago.

Once I had amassed everything from the list, I returned to the refrigerated aisle and opened the frosted glass door, the cold air instantly blowing straight into my face. I carefully perused around at the rows of lined up soda cans until I made a quick grab for one Diet Pepsi. I stared at the ice-cold beverage in my hand for a moment. As much as I wanted so badly to get one of my favorite sodas, I remembered my forced promise to Mom that I would buy something with no sugar.

Better than nothing, I guess, I thought begrudgingly. At least it ain't Tab, that's for sure. So grody.

Now that I had everything on the shopping list and then some, I marched my scrawny backside over to the front counter, setting them on top of the glass surface. Flip rang up each one of the items right before I handed him my mother's ten dollars. After putting my stuff in a paper grocery bag and handing me back whatever was left of my change, I bid Flip a good afternoon and headed back outside. Returning to my bike, I put the bag in the white basket and hopped up onto the cushioned black seat.

Before I could flip up the kickstand with the back of my foot, I felt a company of dark shadows suddenly loom over me, supplemented by a voice that was very close by. A recognizable voice that instantly sent shivers down my spine and caused my heart to thump fiercely in my chest.

"Well, well, well," it said in a dangerous and low tone. "Look at what we have here, guys."

Oh, Good Lord above, please don't let it be what I think it is! I shakingly gazed upward and I was met with quite a terrifying sight. Standing in front of me were a group of three teenagers who I happened to know, unfortunately for me. Three of whom that I was desperately hoping not to encounter again sometime in the near future.

"Nice to see you again... Lincoln Loud..." the one in front of me uttered slowly. I swallowed a big lump and then I smiled really nervously.

"Anderson! Pablo! Taylor!" I said, the essence of fear plainly evident in my voice. "W-What a surprise!"

"Yeah, what a surprise indeed..." Taylor uttered lowly.

Anderson, Pablo, and Taylor were three of the toughest eighth grade bullies you could ever find roaming the locker-filled hallways of Royal Woods Middle School. They were simply the meanest and most unpleasant to be around, and they practically made Chandler look like a kind-hearted saint in comparison. How I first met them was a very interesting story. But let's just say it involved unknowingly sitting in their favorite seats at the far back of the school bus and having accidentally spilled orange juice all over Anderson's favorite shirt.

Anderson, the tallest amongst the three, stared angrily down at me with his hands resting on his waist. He was light-skinned and had a head of short spiky black hair with a long mullet tied into a ponytail. He was dressed in a dark gray T-shirt with a picture of Black Sabbath on the front, a black acid-washed denim vest, and a pair of red parachute pants.

Pablo, standing next to Anderson's left, was the shortest of the trio. He was tanned, and his glasses were quite big and round, and his dark brown hair was done very neatly in an Elvis Presley-inspired pompadour. His clothes mainly consisted of a white button-up shirt and a fresh black leather jacket. He kind of looked like a mixture of a nerd and a 1950's greaser.

And lastly, there was Taylor, who stood on Anderson's right. The only female of the group, her brown hair was long, wavy, and just slightly unkempt, and a red headband crowned her forehead. Her main choice of clothes came with a white ringer shirt with short black sleeves, spiked black leather wristbands, and even red parachute pants, just like Anderson.

I just sat there on the seat of my BMX frozen with fear as the trio of bullies continued to stand in front of me.

"S-So, uh..." I managed to croak out, smiling nervously. "W-W-What brings you guys to this p-p-part of town?"

"Oh, you know," Anderson said, feigning friendliness. "Just doing a little walking, taking in the hot summer sun, and about to grab a little snack from Flip's."

"That is until we, like, noticed a certain white-haired little punk walk right outside," Talor spoke, in a valley girl-sounding voice.

"And let's just say that we've all been dying to say 'hello' again," Pablo included through his teeth, cracking his knuckles. With the way he had done so, I could easily tell from that gesture alone that saying "hello" was none of what they really had in their minds. I swallowed another lump in my throat. I've got to get out of here right! Now!

"W-Well, uh, it's g-good to see you, guys," I stuttered, my palms beginning to sweat. "I-I wish I could s-stay and chat, b-b-b-but I'm in a hurry to g-get back home. So, uh, I'll b-be seeing you later—"

"You're not going anywhere, little man." Anderson grunted lowly.

"At least not until we've all taught you a lesson," Taylor added, cracking her own set of knuckles.

"A lesson?" I hesitantly asked. "W-W-What for?"

"You know darn well what for, you little narc!" Pablo nearly snapped, after walking over to my side and pointing a rough finger at my thin chest. "You had the three of us put in detention!"

"Yeah! And on the last day of school too!" Anderson growled, sounding angrier than before. "Do you have any idea—like, any idea at all—of the ginormous list of chores we were forced to do for an hour and a half right after school was over? Well, DO YOU?!" I won't lie when I say that I myself was on the receiving end of the stick when it came to being in detention a certain number of times in the past. So, yes. I actually did have a good idea.

"And today is the day we finally get to dish out some well-deserved payback on the little white-haired yutz who ruined our first day of summer vacation!" Taylor snarled, popping her neck to the side in anticipation, a crazy-looking smile starting to spread across her face.

"Basically, what that means is," Pablo said, smashing his fist into his open palm. "It's poundin' time." My heart pounded even harder in my chest. It had become so loud in my ears that the thumping was all that I could hear.

Large amounts of sweat poured down my face like rain drops. Chandler McCann, I was more than capable of dealing with on my own. But when it came down to somebody who was a lot bigger and stronger than me? There was no possible chance that I was going to survive after being turned into a human pretzel. I relied more on my brain and wit to get out of a tough spot like this one. But at that moment, I was so scared, my mind was a blank.

Lincoln, you had better think of something fast, or you'll be spending the rest of the summer eating cheeseburgers and pizza through a medical tube! I made a promise to my mom that I was going to stay out of trouble. And that was exactly what I was determined to do. So, out of desperation, I let out a fake gasp and blurted out the first words that came to mind.

"Oh my gosh! It's the guy who played Biff from Back to the Future!" I exclaimed, pointing out at one part of the neighborhood. Upon hearing that, Anderson, Pablo, and Talor promptly became excited and alert.

"Really?! Where?!" the trio shouted at once, looking straight over to where I pointed. Without an ounce of hesitation, I hurriedly took off like a bolt of lightning, speeding down from the large parking space and out into the street once more. A surprised chuckle came out of my throat.

Wow! The oldest trick in the book, and they actually fell for it!

Out of curiosity, I turned around fast for a split moment, and I was met with the fear-inducing sight of the trio starting to chase after me on foot, the look of murder and determination clear on their faces. Thankfully, they did not have bikes of their own, which meant that none of them were actually fast enough to catch up with me, much to my satisfying relief. If that had been the case, then this scenario would have been radically different than what it was already. This would've likely turned into a dramatic chase like the ones seen in an episode of Miami Vice.

Thank goodness it didn't come to that. Quickly realizing that it was no use, the trio gave up and came to a stop so they could catch their breath.

"This ain't over, Loud!" Anderson shouted; his voice filled with rage.

"We swear, before this summer is over, we will get you!" Taylor and Pablo cried, shaking their fists in my direction. With the three of them now far behind me, I sighed in overwhelming relief, and my heart slowed to a steady rhythm.

Next time, Mom, have Lori do the grocery shopping!

And so, I rode my bike down through the street, homeward bound with my bag of groceries…


Once after I made it back home to my house, I noticed that my sisters were still having our little sprinkler party.

And thank goodness that it was still going on. I slowed down a bit when I saw another car, a light gray 1985 Ford Taurus, parked directly in front of Vanzilla in the middle section of the driveway. Dad had gotten home early. I knew this because he always drove that Taurus with him to and from work. I then noticed our next-door neighbor, Mr. Grouse, a seemingly grumpy old man, walk outside with an equally old broomstick in his hands.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Grouse!" I called out to him. He responded with a glare and a frown, which I could just barely see through his bushy white mustache.

"Tell your sisters to turn that racket down, Loud!" he ordered before beginning to sweep his front patio clean. I made a frown of my own and rolled my eyes.

"Well, hello to you too," I muttered under my breath. Lori seemed to have heard his complaint because the blaring volume that came from our boombox got a bit quiet all of a sudden. Quiet, but was still audible enough to be heard.

"Sorry, Mr. Grouse!" my eldest sister shouted over to our elderly neighbor.

In response, Mr. Grouse let out a simple yet irritated "Hmpf," before going back to his sweeping. I discreetly shook my head. I swear, that old codger needs to get out more. After I parked my bike up against the side of the garage, I took the grocery bag out of the basket and made my way over to the stairs and through the screen door and front door. Unreadily, I was greeted with a sudden wave of heat that hit me square in the face and a strong smell went straight up into my nose.

I know that smell anywhere, I thought, my mouth watering almost instantly. Mom's making grilled hot dogs. And it smells like she's made quite a lot of them. With the paper bag of groceries still wrapped in my bony arms, I walked through the dining room and over to the kitchen where the aroma was a lot stronger than before. What I saw confirmed what my mind had concluded. My mother stood in front of the stovetop, grilling up a large number of bun length hot dogs on the skillet.

She looked over at my direction for a second and smiled.

"Hey, sweety," she beamed. "Did you get everything I asked for?"

"Yes, ma'am," I answered, before moving over to place the bag on the kitchen counter next to the refrigerator.

"Did you get what you needed too?" she asked.

"Yep,"

"What'd you get?"

"Just a Diet Pepsi," I confirmed. "No sugar, just as you asked." Speaking of which, I reached deep into the grocery bag and searched through it until I found my aforementioned soft drink. I lifted the pull tab up until it cracked open the can, foam spraying almost everywhere from the surface. Quickly, I brought it to my mouth and gulped a couple mouthfuls down my throat. I stopped to take a breath, allowing the flavor of the sugar free beverage to resolve in my taste buds.

Yep, definitely better than Tab. When Mom finished grilling the last remaining bun length hot dogs that sizzled on top of the skillet, she placed them on top of a large plate where a stacked mountain of the other hot dogs were resting. I opened the refrigerator and drew out a bottle of Heinz ketchup and mustard, as well as two glass jars of relish and mayo. With the addition of a plastic bag of hot dog buns, I followed Mom to the dining room table.

I love grilled hot dogs, I thought, my mouth further salivating over the delicious smell.