Author's Note: Trigger warning, for those who are sensitive to depictions of panic attacks. The beginning and end are bolded so you can know what not to read if that's what you choose.

When Izuku and Uraraka made their way back to the classroom, they sat in comfortable silence for a while. Other students started to arrive soon after and before them, so within a few minutes, the class was all back in the classroom, before even whoever would be their teacher had time to arrive. They were just that excited, or in Izuku's case, nervous for the upcoming lesson. There was a palpable buzz of energy in the room, the anticipation simply rolling off all the students in waves, and Izuku felt like all of that excitement, worry, anxiety and eagerness to get started was crushing him from all sides. It was as if a surge of water was pinning him to his seat, forcing him to measure his breaths and keep himself from shaking at his desk.

He couldn't think like that, though. He had to believe that things would be okay. For all he knew, which was admittedly very little, it was only Aizawa who was that hardcore right out of the gate. He'd actually been proven right on that point throughout the day already, with all of the teachers the class had already had being fairly relaxed and normal, though not without their eccentricities. He had to believe that whoever they'd gotten to teach foundational heroics was a normal, qualified teacher who just happened to be a hero as well. Izuku tried his best to calm his mind and prevent himself from concocting wild theories that couldn't possibly have been true, like them getting Endeavor, or Best Jeanist, or Hawks to teach, because those were all clearly impossible. Anybody in the top ten would've been far too busy to take time to teach a first year class, even at UA. Izuku felt secure in that fact, until a single, loud, booming footstep outside the door made the pencil on his desk shake slightly.

Immediately, Izuku went to a bad place. That sound was intensely familiar, causing a jolt to run down his spine and force his hands to clamp down on the desk in front of him. It was almost exactly the same footstep he'd heard all those months ago, when he'd first met All Might.

"Can I be a hero with this Quirk?" he'd asked.

All Might, in his true form, had loomed over him, blocking out the sun as if he were a mighty mountain, even if he looked as though a stiff breeze would throw him off-balance. Those prinpicks of blue had met Izuku's own eyes, and he could sense the unease the hero carried in that moment. There had been a small pile of dust at Izuku's feet, the remains of a pencil he'd used as a demonstration of his Quirk at All Might's request. That same man, the number one hero, the Symbol of Peace, had looked at both it and him with such an intensity in his more-or-less casual gaze that Izuku thought he'd collapse if the suffocating, deafening silence between them dragged on any longer. If Izuku didn't know any better, there was a little bit of fear in those eyes, but Izuku did know better. All Might wouldn't have been scared of him. He was just Izuku Midoriya. Deku.

"I … would think not. With that Quirk, you cannot be a hero," All Might had said.

Before that moment, Izuku would have said that he didn't know what true devastation felt like.

Unfortunately, he was well acquainted with the burning of self-hatred that was born of wanting a different Quirk. That was something he'd never be able to get rid of, something he'd always carry with him. That didn't mean that he couldn't let other things go, however, starting with the man in front of him.

Izuku had run home that night, not even stopping to at least try enjoying a fireworks presentation in the marketplace. The next day, he'd discover that it had been much more severe than just a fireworks presentation, but Bakugou had made it out okay. Izuku, however, wasn't sure how he'd ever look at All Might the same way again. To tell a person, a fan, a child, that they couldn't be a hero because of the power they were born with was abhorrent. Vile. If it wasn't All Might, Izuku would've complained officially, but he was so good that he doubted anybody would've believed him. So he simply let that anger run its course, and left it alone, not knowing that it would fester into a dislike of his once-favourite hero.

Izuku took a deep breath to ward off the memory. That was the day, the moment that truly set him on his path. Before he'd manifested his Quirk, Izuku had wanted to be a hero out of admiration for All Might, and all the other heroes who risked their well being solely to help other people out of a bad spot. To him, that was just the coolest thing that someone could do. After that, he'd wanted to be a hero out of a sense of justice. He'd done bad things, hurt people with his Quirk, so he needed some sort of closure on that. Izuku needed to know that he could help more than he could hurt, that he wasn't built to destroy and kill. He'd needed that, but then All Might may as well have said it outright. He couldn't help people with his Quirk. Izuku was only capable of causing pain and injury.

Now, Izuku wanted to be a hero to prove them all wrong. Bakugou, all the bullies he'd put up with through middle school, his father, All Might, everyone. They'd all see it. Izuku would be the best hero there was, and he'd do it with his deadly Quirk. This was something that he needed for himself, now. Once, it had been about helping people, but Izuku doubted that he had much in him other than spite and that burning hatred of the people and the system around him. Izuku was going to prove it all wrong, and be a great hero, because if he didn't, he'd feel as though he'd given up. Izuku would never give up.

The immediate place his theories went made him want to give up.

That was further compounded by a great, clear laugh that rang out as the door was flung open. Izuku caught a flash of yellow coming through the now open door and let out a low groan as he let his head hang. He didn't want it to be true. He needed it to be anyone else. Now that he thought back to it, All Might hanging around the school in his true form the day before was absolutely a bad omen. He should've put it together, but Izuku had wanted it not to be true so badly that he must have blinded himself to the signs. Trust the universe to take a shot at him right when he was feeling hopeful about this place.

"Whoa, is that really him?"

"All Might!"

"He's our teacher?"

Izuku felt his chest tighten as breathing became a chore. His hands rose to cover his eyes, but they were shaking too much to do the job properly. When his body failed him, Izuku just stared down at his lap, trying to shut his eyes with enough force to make everything quiet down. He couldn't focus on that fruitless mission, though, because his ears were ringing. When had that started? Izuku couldn't say, because he'd heard nothing from the second that footstep had caused his pencil to rattle. The numbness of his fingers drew Izuku's attention to the fact that all of his senses were rapidly leaving him, leaving him with this odd sort of tranquillity that he knew wouldn't last. So, there he sat, slowly shutting down as everyone around him murmured to each other about how exciting it would be to have the number one hero as a teacher.

"I am here, to train you up into heroes worthy of the title!" All Might probably said, but it all sounded like a far away dream to Izuku.

Air seemed to not want to get into Izuku's lungs, as he began to feel the burn that always accompanied the holding of one's breath. Despite trying to suck in as much air as possible, as quietly as possible, nothing changed. It was like someone had clamped his airways closed and was forcing him to struggle in vain. That, coupled with the lightheadedness that suddenly hit Izuku like a wave of fog in his brain, caused him to zone out for a few brief moments. All he could think about was those words that he and All Might had exchanged on that rooftop. He couldn't remember the feeling of the wind that day, or the way his shoes squeaked on the stairs while making his way down afterwards, but Izuku heard All Might's declaration loud and clear, every second that passed.

"With that Quirk, you cannot be a hero."

This couldn't be happening. All Might couldn't be his teacher. It just couldn't be true. He could handle Aizawa, he could handle Bakugou being in his class, but All Might was just too much right now. He needed to get into some kind of routine, some kind of comfort before dealing with all that stuff, and he wasn't ready yet. He'd at least done some preparation for Aizawa and Bakugou. He'd been able to brace himself. This was sprung on him with no warning. Izuku felt like he'd been treading water in fairly calm waters so far, but this was truly just throwing him into the ocean during a storm. He wasn't ready. He didn't even get to prepare himself! This wasn't … he couldn't … how long had it been since he took a breath?

"Midoriya?"

That single word brought him out of his head. Izuku felt as though his feet were glued to the floor, his hands to his desk, and finally breathed in. He almost choked, but managed to collect himself. Opening his eyes met him with the towering, muscular form of what the public knew as All Might, and a concerned Uraraka standing closer to him. She was looking him in the eye, an expression of trepidation on her face and a slight tremble in her hand. Izuku looked past her and realised that the rest of the students had cleared out, and that it was just them three alone in the classroom, probably after All Might had instructed them to do whatever it was that he'd explained while Izuku had been stupidly panicking. Great, now he'd need it explained to him again, which meant more time with All Might's uncomfortably intense gaze on him. Luckily, Uraraka was there.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just … slept poorly," Izuku said, pausing as he took in another deep breath.

Something in All Might's wide, shining smile changed. It was more forced, like he'd wanted to say something but didn't. Izuku made himself look at All Might as he got his breathing under control. Uraraka was to the side of his desk, still looking at him with something in her eyes that told Izuku of concern, but he ignored her for now, as horrible as that sounded. He met All Might's eyes and sighed.

"Where do I need to go?" he asked.

"Ground Beta; we're doing ba—" All Might tried to explain.

"I'll have someone else tell me when I get there. I'm already behind, so I need to get going now. So does Uraraka," Izuku said.

"Right. I'll meet you there," All Might sighed.

Izuku slid out of his chair and walked out of the classroom after swinging by the opposite side of the classroom and grabbing the suitcase containing his hero costume at Uraraka's instruction. Then, they set out toward Ground Beta, which the map they'd been given the day before told them was one of the training grounds around the campus that was modelled after an urban environment. Izuku wondered what they could be doing there, but didn't want to ask Uraraka because they'd be splitting up in a few minutes, and he didn't want to delay her if her explanation spilled over and they ended up having to stand there for a while just for him to understand what was going to be happening. It probably wouldn't take that long based on the amount of time it took for All Might to explain it and herd everyone out to change into their costumes, but it couldn't hurt to be cautious.

The air between Izuku and Uraraka was strange as they departed to enter their respective changing rooms. He could tell that she was disturbed by his small episode back in the classroom. He could tell that she'd wanted to say something about it, but hadn't worked up the nerve before they'd had to split up. Izuku knew that she regretted not speaking up about something she'd seen the day before with Aizawa, and she looked like she'd wanted to rectify that with Izuku's current situation, but hadn't had the confidence. He felt a small frown work its way onto his face as he wondered why someone like Uraraka could be lacking in confidence. She was great, so why was she worrying about stuff like that? It didn't really make sense to Izuku, but he could think about it later. Now, he had to get dressed.

When Izuku entered the changing rooms, the only one in there was Mineta, since his costume apparently included a dome like item around his waist that needed some time to get properly fastened into place. Izuku set his case down and waved quickly to Mineta, before taking a moment to look at his closed case, basking in the anticipation. If they'd made the costume to his specifications, then he'd be set. He just needed to open it. Before he could, though, Mineta spoke.

"Pretty exciting to finally see everyone's costumes, isn't it?" he asked.

Izuku hummed in response. Looking at Mineta's costume, he didn't know what to think, really. It had a certain … charm to it, but it looked kind of like a diaper, and it served to infantilise Mineta and take away from the authority he was supposed to have as a hero, if you asked Izuku. He hoped his costume was more appropriate. He hadn't asked for anything too flashy, or cool, but it would do the job, hopefully.

"Especially the ladies' costumes, eh?" Mineta asked again, winking suggestively at Izuku.

Izuku ignored that comment. He went to open his case once again, but Mineta caught his attention with a strange laugh that made Izuku uncomfortable for some reason.

"Yeah, that Yaoyorozu's bound to be a stunner in a costume; God, she's got some top-tier boobs. Same with Ashido. Those hips, y'know?" Mineta continued. Izuku stared at the smaller boy, wondering what the hell his problem was. Was that all he talked about? Was that why he was here? If so, that was a major disappointment, since he'd seemed friendly and well-intentioned at the entrance exam, when they'd first met, but this was just gross and unproductive. "Urara—what are you doing?" he said, noticing that Izuku was looking right at him with a focused, hard expression.

"Alright, what's your deal? You're at the best hero school in the country, and all you've talked about is girls ," Izuku asked, disgust lacing his voice as he spoke.

"Hey, c'mon! Where else am I gonna get a view like this? A guy can appreciate the female form, yeah?" Mineta asked in a sort of mocking tone.

"Yeah, I think you're going a little beyond that," Izuku said, not letting any doubt linger in his tone.

"What do you mean?" Mineta asked, and Izuku believed that he didn't know how uncomfortable he'd made not only Izuku himself, but Yaoyorozu on the first day, and how others had been put off by his one and only topic of conversation. He sighed, knowing that this had to be done, but not wanting to be the one to do it.

"You can 'appreciate the female form', whatever that means, but when you talk about other peoples' bodies in that way, especially around those people, and around people who don't want to talk about that stuff, it makes people uncomfortable. I've noticed the way people, the girls specifically, have been looking at you just within a day of knowing you, and I can wager a guess that it's because you're talking to them and about them in a way they don't like. So please, if you haven't been told yet, stop . It's not fun for anyone involved," Izuku said. He didn't really feel like the person who should be doing this, it should've been one of the girls, or a teacher, or anybody with even a little bit of authority, but here he was.

"So you're telling me what to think? Those girls won't talk to me, so thoughts are all I have," Mineta said. He had a nasty look in his eyes, and seemed to be breathing quicker now.

"No! I'm just saying that you make people uncomfortable, and I'm telling you what I think the cause of that is. You don't have to listen to me, but I'd suggest at least remembering what I just said and checking in a week from now if you still have the same problems with the girls. If you still can't hold a conversation with them, give it a shot," Izuku explained.

"Give what a shot? I'm pretty sure my way works. I learned it from all the popular guys at my old school!" Mineta actually seemed proud of that.

Izuku sighed, and looked down at Mineta with an expression he didn't know the name of. All he knew is that he was tired of this conversation, and needed to get changed before he was actually late for class. He spent a moment thinking of what to say before sighing once again and taking a breath.

"I need you to believe what I say next, Mineta. Everyone who thinks they're hot shit in middle-school is dead wrong. If you're done changing, I'd like to do the same in peace," Izuku said, and watched as Mineta seemingly went through several different emotional states in the span of a few seconds and then left.

Finally alone, Izuku turned his attention back to his case. It was time to suit up and join the others outside. When he opened it and saw what was inside, Izuku smiled wide and let out a single laugh. This was going to be fun.