This is a story I've been wanting to write forever, and I actually had a rough draft of it written out somewhere at some point, but I finally got around to writing a real, cleaned up version of it...and I'm very excited to share it with you all!
Aiden and Michelle: 5 years old
Drunken Love
Of all the things Misty could've been doing tonight, or at least wanting to do, having dinner with her husband's manager was at the bottom of her list.
It was usually insufferable regardless, but at the moment, the situation was made even worse by the fact that Misty was pregnant…and she and Ash had neglected to reveal this information to Scott just yet. She was still relatively early on, not even two months yet, so that played into the decision. But they also hadn't told him yet because they knew Scott would freak, so they had to find a way to do it delicately, and neither of them had come up with a good solution yet.
The task of telling Scott that Misty was expecting, in a sense, was actually worse than having to tell their own children.
Sitting in the booth at the pricey, upscale restaurant in downtown Cerulean, Misty was only grateful she hadn't had any bouts of morning sickness that day. The week prior, at the Indigo Conference, she'd been pretty seriously ill, and it was incredibly difficult to hide that fact, especially from her fellow gym leaders and other league executives. If she were to be dealing with it in this small space, right under Scott's nose…it would've been a bonafide disaster.
It was just her and Ash for now, which she was grateful for. He, however, couldn't stop watching her toy with her bright red hair, which she had tied off into a low side ponytail that would rest against the front of her shoulder when she wasn't threading it through her fingers.
"You nervous?" Ash asked, raising an eyebrow.
"What gave it away?" Misty murmured, staring straight ahead.
Ash smirked and reached out to gently lower her hand, which finally got Misty's attention. "Just chill, okay? He's not gonna know anything is up if we just act normal."
Misty seemed to heed his advice for a grand total of 30 seconds. When she felt she was going to explode from anxiety again, she turned back towards Ash and rushed out, "do you think I should call your mother to check on the twins?"
Ash searched her face before replying "no. Why would you? Everything was fine when we left them."
"I don't know," Misty whined, throwing both her hands down. "I'm just…a mess?"
She hadn't meant for the last part to come out as a question, but her own voice had betrayed her. Ash's sly smile returned, and he slowly shook his head.
"Just try and enjoy yourself," he tried again. "I know Scott can get on your nerves, but it's only dinner. It'll be over before you know it!"
"So sorry I'm late!"
Ash and Misty looked up as Scott rushed up to the table, very red in the face and sounding quite out of breath.
"Geez Scott, did you run here?" Ash questioned, raising an eyebrow.
"No," Scott puffed, squeezing himself into the left-hand side of the semi-circle booth. "It took me forever to find a parking spot, and it's not even near the restaurant. I only started to rush when I realized what time it was."
"You're not even 10 minutes late," Misty reasoned with the man. "It's not a big deal. I would know; I'm married to the king of being late to everything."
Ash adopted a deadpan expression as Misty took a slow sip from her water glass.
"Fair point," Scott conceded. "But I'm very much used to being on time, so for me this is out of character. But don't worry – I'll make it up to the two of you."
Neither Ash nor Misty had any idea what Scott meant by that. It didn't take long for them to get an answer, though, as Scott flagged down the first waiter he happened to see.
"Yes, I'd like a bottle of your finest wine, thank you," he instructed the waiter, who bowed in response.
Misty stiffened at the mention of alcohol. While Ash's reaction wasn't as edged, he was still taken off guard by the request. "Scott, you really didn't have to do that."
"Nonsense, I insist," Scott dismissed, waving a hand at a visibly unsure Ash. "It'll be a nice treat for all of us."
When the bottle arrived, an apparently very pricey sauvignon blanc imported directly from Kalos, three glasses were automatically poured. Not like Misty would have rejected it anyway; if she had, then Scott would've definitely known something was up.
He was the first to take a sip of the wine, grinning afterwards. "That's incredible. There's nothing worse than having an expensive wine that doesn't match in taste."
Ash took a small sip himself and wrinkled his nose as the potent liquid went down. "It's good. I don't think it tastes any different than the wine my mom buys from the liquor store in Viridian, though."
Scott sighed, clearly exasperated that Ash still didn't understand or appreciate the finer things in life. He then turned his attention onto Misty, and twisted his mouth when he realized that her wine glass was still untouched.
"Misty, you haven't tried it yet," Scott pointed out.
"Huh?" Misty babbled, picking her head up. She'd been busy staring down at her hands, zoning out. There was nothing there, but she still spouted out the excuse, "sorry, I was texting Delia."
Scott still seemed perplexed. "Isn't she watching Aiden and Michelle? And Pikachu?"
"Yes," Misty breathed, quickly nodding her head. "I was just checking in."
"Hmm," Scott hummed. He obviously wasn't too interested. "Well, you have to try the wine! You've got a far more refined palette for these things than Ash does."
Once again, Ash looked offended. Misty, however, was too discombobulated to laugh. Knowing she'd have to get Scott off her back somehow, she raised the glass to her lips and tilted it back, causing Ash to grow wide eyed.
"Oh yeah, that's great!" Misty concurred once she put the glass down, beaming at Scott.
"The floral notes really stand out, don't they?" Scott asked. He and Misty butted heads often, but he did enjoy discussing fine foods and alcohol with her, since she had relatively good knowledge of such things. Of course, she wasn't at someone like Cilan's level, but she knew enough to keep Scott appeased.
"Yes, it really gives a unique profile," Misty agreed.
Scott smiled to himself, clearly proud of his choice, before picking up his menu and burying his face in it.
"Misty!" Ash hissed under his breath, making sure Scott couldn't see or hear him.
"I didn't drink it!" Misty growled back just as softly, which caused Ash to relax. "I only made it look like I did."
"Oh, that's smart," Ash whispered, now sounding impressed.
"Thanks, except I've got to find a way to get rid of the rest of it," Misty groaned.
"Just don't drink it," Ash replied as though it were obvious.
"That's not gonna work!" Misty cried, though her voice was still low. "Scott's gonna wonder why it's just sitting there, especially after I just praised it like that."
Ash was troubled. He knew Misty was right, but he wasn't sure how to take care of her glass. After all, it wasn't like they were sitting near a plant that she could just pour the wine into. That thought, however, gave him another idea. It was one he wasn't exactly fond of, but this was a situation where he was willing to do whatever it took to help Misty out…even if it wasn't his preference.
With Scott's face still behind his menu, Ash picked up Misty's wine glass and downed the alcohol in three big gulps. Now it was Misty's turn to gawk, watching with unblinking eyes and a slack jaw as Ash put the glass down and made a disgusted face.
"I think I found exactly what I…oh, wow. You must've really liked the wine, Misty."
The still stunned gym leader took another look at her empty glass. "Oh…yeah! It was so good; I just couldn't help myself!"
"Good thing I got a whole bottle," Scott remarked, lifting it from its perch inside the marble cooler and pouring more for the woman.
Misty offered Scott a weak smile, her anxiety peaking all over again. Ash, on the other hand, was unhappy but also undeterred. He took a long sip from his own glass, knowing Scott would notice if his went untouched as well. Whenever Scott wasn't looking, Ash would take a sip from Misty's glass. This little game continued until both Ash and Misty's glasses were empty, which prompted Scott to pour more for both before either could protest.
"Ash, stop," Misty hissed to her husband when he took another sip of her wine while Scott spoke to the waiter. "You cannot handle all of that wine."
"I've got to, Mist," Ash groaned after swallowing his latest sip. "We can't just let it sit here."
"This is your fourth and fifth glass," Misty sighed. "You know you don't hold your liquor well."
"I'll be…fine," Ash assured her, taking a long pause between the last two words. Misty narrowed her eyes. He was getting tipsy, and fast.
"This is getting out of hand," Misty grumbled. "Let's just be honest with Scott. It'll be easier that way."
Ash quickly shook his head. "Not yet."
"Not yet what?"
Ash blinked hard and turned towards Scott, who had an eyebrow raised.
"I…meant I'm not full yet!" Ash blurted, a bit too loudly. "I'm definitely gonna have room for dessert!"
Scott intoned and went back to his steak. "Not surprising."
Ash sighed and took another sip of Misty's wine, much to her horror. Once he was done, Ash put down the glass and smirked at his disturbed wife.
"You know…I'm actually feeling pretty good!"
Misty just rolled her eyes and rested her head in her hand. She was in for some kind of night.
XXX
Ash was not a big drinker.
For the most part, he thought almost all alcohol tasted pretty bad. He'd developed a bit more of an acceptance for it with age, mostly to fit in with his buddies like Brock or Gary whenever they hung out. But even then, he rarely drank more than one glass or bottle of anything. For the most part, he still found the taste off-putting, and he also had a pretty low tolerance for the stuff.
Misty had a much higher tolerance for alcohol, which was pretty much inevitable being surrounded by three sisters who were borderline alcoholics for so many years. She could easily drink half a bottle of wine on her own before getting a buzz, though it wasn't exactly something Misty was proud of.
She had seen Ash drunk once, maybe twice, in her life. He certainly hadn't been since the twins were born. Ash was very conscientious of how he behaved when his children were around, and even when they weren't, he had them in the back of his mind.
But this time, he really didn't have much of a choice. He had only done it to protect Misty. For that, she felt pretty bad, even though she'd tried to convince him repeatedly not to drink her share on top of his own. As soon as he'd hit his tipping point, however, there was no going back. Ash was feeling no pain, and he was really enjoying it.
Driving home hadn't been difficult for Misty. Dragging her husband into the house, on the other hand, was. He weighed twice as much as she did, after all, and him stumbling around didn't make it any easier. Vaporeon was already asleep in the den, and although Ash and Misty's arrival had stirred her, she went right back to sleep once she realized it was just them.
As Misty struggled to get him up the stairs, after kicking her heels off by the door so as to not further burden herself, all she could think was how grateful she was that Aiden, Michelle, and Pikachu were spending the night at Delia's. The last thing she needed them to see was this pathetic display.
As soon as she reached their bedroom, Misty practically threw Ash onto the bed. She let out an exhausted sigh and bent over, grasping at her knees.
"Okay, that would've been too much even if I wasn't pregnant," Misty grumbled, finally standing up to her full height.
Ash suddenly started to laugh wildly as he flung himself back up, grinning at Misty with a smile that looked like it might crack his face in half.
"What, you think that's funny?" Misty deadpanned.
Without any warning, Ash started to swing his arms around, pulling a determined face as he did so. Misty watched for a few seconds before deciding it was insanely cringey and she needed some answers.
"What're you doing?" She sighed.
"Mega evolving!" Ash announced, his voice several decibels too high. "Go, mega Ash!"
"Arceus, you're so drunk," Misty muttered. "Will you survive for 15 minutes if I go take a quick shower?"
Ash lowered his arms and tried slinking towards Misty, eventually getting too close to the end of the bed and falling right over on his head.
"That's a resounding no," Misty squeaked, wincing at her husband's less than graceful tumble. "Ash, are you alright?"
Staying in the same position, he started laughing all over again. That told Misty he either wasn't hurt, or he was just too far gone to feel it. If she had to guess, it was the latter.
"Come on, get up," she breathed, clutching the stiff material of his dress shirt to try and help him back onto the bed. It worked, but took about all of the energy Misty had left right out of her. Rolling her eyes, she threw herself down on the bed and let out an exhausted huff.
It was when she landed next to him that Ash stopped laughing. Adopting a more curious look, Ash crawled over to her and gently shook her shoulder. Misty slowly turned her head, her eyes flickering with confusion. As soon as she looked at him, Ash let out a relieved sigh and slumped his shoulders. "Good, you're alive."
Misty blinked. "You…thought I wasn't?"
Ash made a bewildered noise and shrugged.
"Well, if I can't shower, the least you can let me do is get into pajamas," Misty sighed, pushing herself back up. "You should do the same. You're gonna need to sleep this off big time."
"-m fine," Ash slurred.
"I might've believed that if you didn't sound totally sloshed," Misty snickered. She just couldn't help herself. It was a little funny. She knew it wouldn't be in the morning, though, hence her insistence that Ash try and go to bed.
"Wait!" Ash cried, leading Misty to raise an eyebrow. It was the most coherent Ash had sounded all night.
"Yes?" She asked patiently.
Ash remained silent for a moment before eliding, "you're so pretty."
It wasn't as though Misty wasn't used to hearing that out of him, but for whatever reason, it brought a blush to her face. Probably because Ash was so out of whack at the moment that she was thrown off that he was even able to string that thought together. Before she could respond, Ash jumped at her, trying to kiss her but instead losing his balance and knocking her back down onto the bed. Misty grimaced, glancing down at her husband, who was now resting directly atop her chest.
"You and alcohol really do not mix, Ash Ketchum," she quipped.
He hiccupped before softly repeating, "you're so pretty."
Misty smirked and shook her head. She managed to wriggle out from beneath her incapacitated husband, leaving him lying there despondently as she sauntered towards the dresser. She pulled open a drawer and retrieved a black t-shirt and pale blue and white stripped boxers, tossing them towards Ash. They landed on top of his face, and he just stayed like that for a few long seconds before removing them.
"Put those on," Misty giggled. "It's bed time."
She felt like she was talking to Aiden or Michelle instead of her husband, though she supposed that was fair. Overtired little kids, after all, really weren't much different than drunk adults.
Misty quickly slipped out of her navy blue dress in favor of a pale blue tank top and white shorts. By the time she had changed and turned around, Ash was still lying on the bed, his own pajamas still crumpled up beside him.
"C'mon, Ash!" Misty groaned. "You're making my life really difficult here."
"-m not tired," Ash whined.
Misty dramatically rolled her eyes. Now she really felt like she was dealing with one of their kids. "Could you at least put your pajamas on and lie in bed, then?"
Ash pressed his lips into a thin line and stayed that way for a long moment. Misty narrowed her eyes, but just as she was about to snap at him, Ash replied with a simple, "yep."
He sat up robotically and tried removing his dress shirt without undoing the buttons. Misty watched him struggle for a bit, trying to shrug off the shirt and, eventually, biting at the collar to try and remove it that way.
"Okay, this is just sad," Misty sighed, walking over to Ash. She managed to undo all of his buttons and slide the shirt off, holding it away from him. "Can you get your pants off by yourself, or do you need help with that too?"
"Uuuuuh…" Ash droned, continuing to do so as he managed to wiggle his way out of his pants.
"Great," Misty grumbled. "Now give me those so you can-"
Before Misty could finish, Ash tossed the pants at her, the dark gray slacks landing on her head and covering her face. Ash started to laugh wildly, while Misty grabbed the pants and yanked them off of her head, revealing a brilliantly red face.
"My sympathy for you is really wearing thin."
XXX
By the next morning, Misty had managed to muster up a lot more compassion for her husband.
In contrast to his oblivious, drunken state the night before, Ash was now feeling a lot of pain. Most specifically in his head. It felt like there was a three-on-three battle happening within his skull, and all Ash could do was moan about it.
Misty was standing in the doorway, watching him with a frown on her face. She'd left quickly to make herself a cup of tea (coffee would've been preferable, but decaffeinated was the recommendation for someone pregnant like herself, and that wouldn't do a thing for Misty), but Ash had still been asleep then…certainly not moaning like that. She, in fact, couldn't tell if he was actually awake or not. Either way, while she was downstairs, she had also prepared a beverage for Ash: seltzer water, in the hopes that it may do the bare minimum to relieve his hangover.
She approached his nightstand, gently placing the seltzer water down. As soon as the glass hit the table, he moaned more loudly, indicating to Misty that he had heard it and that it was far too loud for his sensitive head.
"Ash?" Misty asked softly, willing to check if he was actually awake at this point.
The man's eyes finally cracked open, and they were completely bloodshot. He whimpered and reached up to grab his head, grumbling, "I feel like I got run over by a Snorlax."
"Not exactly…" Misty sighed. "You drank too much last night."
"I…huh?" Ash mumbled.
"You were drinking your wine and my wine so Scott wouldn't realize I was pregnant," Misty explained, realizing that Ash had no recollection of this.
Ash sighed and lowered his hand. "So…"
Misty blinked when Ash trailed off and never finished. "You're hungover."
Ash groaned and rolled over onto his face. "Wine's not even worth it."
"I tried to get you to stop, but you wouldn't listen," Misty continued, a smile managing to creep its way onto her face. His stubborn ass never learned. "You just wanted to protect me. I'm really grateful for it, Ash. Thank you."
Despite the massive ache in his head, Ash smiled at her. "Of course. I love you, Mist."
Misty giggled and kissed him on the forehead. "I left some seltzer water on the nightstand for you, and I'm going to go get you some ibuprofen to take. It's not going to make the hangover go away, but it might help a little. You can try and get some sleep while I go get the twins and Pikachu from your mom's."
Ash started to pout. "I wish I could go with you. But…I think if I get out of bed, I'll go right to the floor."
"No, you're not going anywhere," Misty agreed. "But don't worry; I'll keep the twins and their squeaky, generally way too loud voices away from you today."
"I feel bad…" Ash sighed. "Well, staying away from them. I feel bad physically, too."
"I know you do," Misty assured him. "But this is for the best. I'm sure by tomorrow you'll be up for being used as a jungle gym again!"
XXX
"Did you two have fun with Grammy?"
"Yeah!" Aiden gushed. "She made us macaroni and cheese for dinner! But the one she makes all on her own, not the one from the box!"
Misty deadpanned at the inadvertent jab at her cooking skills. "That's wonderful."
"And she took us to the candy store!" Michelle added. "We got a bunch of stuff!"
"I know, Grammy gave me all of your leftovers," Misty snickered. "I hope you two know you'll be sharing with me!"
"No way!" Aiden laughed.
Misty giggled before adding, "well, I'm glad you guys had such a good time. But I really missed you!"
"We missed you too, Mommy!" Michelle exclaimed.
The only one who hadn't said anything during this exchange was Pikachu. He was perched on Misty's shoulder, looking around confusedly. Finally, he glanced over at the gym leader and squeaked, "pikapi?"
Misty's lips parted. Michelle, who understood some of Pikachu's language, added, "yeah, where's Daddy?"
Wracking her brain, Misty finally replied, "he really wanted to come with me to pick you guys up, but he wasn't feeling so well, so I wanted him to stay in bed."
Michelle frowned. "Is he okay?"
"He'll be fine," Misty assured her daughter.
"Did the baby make him sick like it makes you sick?" Aiden asked, tilting his head.
Misty was about to say no, but as she thought about it, she realized Aiden wasn't completely off base. "That could be, little guy. But just like me, he's gonna be okay! You two will just hang out with me until he feels better, okay?"
"Okay!" They both chirped.
"Aw, you're both so sweet!" Misty giggled. "Come on, let's get home now."
She got both kids into their booster seats while Pikachu settled in between them. The ride home remained uneventful, with the exception of both Aiden and Michelle talking their mother's ear off; typical of the two children when they were very excited. Once they made it home and into the house, everything seemed to be in one piece, for which Misty was grateful. Maybe now things would settle down.
That hope was quickly diminished when she, the twins, and Pikachu heard a bunch of stumbling, crashing, and groaning coming from upstairs.
"Daddy?" Michelle wondered aloud.
Aiden glanced up at his mother and commented, "That sounds like a whole big mess."
Misty sighed and shook her head, though she couldn't fight the smirk that grew on her face. Kids were so unintentionally funny…much like her husband the night before.
"You're absolutely right, sweetheart. Do you two mind if I go check on your Daddy quickly?"
"Okay!" Michelle giggled. "Aiden and I can play with Pikachu while we wait!"
Misty smiled and ruffled the hair of both children before hurrying up the stairs. She found Ash lying in a heap on the floor beside the bed, groaning but otherwise not moving.
"What did you do?" Misty sighed.
"I was trying to go to the bathroom…" Ash grumbled. "But the whole room is spinning."
"You shouldn't have tried to get up without me," Misty gently admonished him.
"What do you expect me to do, pee in the bed?" Ash deadpanned.
"No, I definitely don't want that," Misty quickly refuted, walking over to Ash to help him up. "But the twins are downstairs, so I've got to be able to split my attention between the three of you. Pikachu is with them, but I can't just leave him alone with them. They're a bit of a handful, you know."
Ash groaned and buried his face in his hands, trying to get the world around him to still. "I'm never drinking again."
"That's fair, considering you didn't even want to drink this time," Misty hummed.
Ash sighed and lowered his hands, though his eyes were still shut. "Okay. I'm going to go in the bathroom, try not to barf, and then lay on my face for the rest of the day."
Misty gave her husband a thumbs up. "Sounds like a plan. Let me know if you need anything!"
"Yep, will do," Ash muttered, trudging to the bathroom. He reached for the door and tried to close it, but missed completely and just kept going, not realizing he hadn't been successful.
"Oh, Ash you didn't…" Misty slowly trailed off, stopping herself. "You know what, he's been through enough. Just let him go with the door open."
Adult Ash being bigger than Adult Misty but with far less of a tolerance for alcohol is honestly one of my favorite headcanons. Misty can 100% outdrink most grown men.
