Hello. Well… I hope that you read my author's notes. Then you would be reading this. But I was thinking about my name, since you probably can't pronounce Linnéa- because it's so Swedish! Well… I was wondering to make up a nickname because of that and at last I thought of that Linneaflower in English is twinflower- so I came up with Twinnie. So… if you have trouble pronouncing my name and such then… I guess Twinnie works! It's up to you though

So. I forgot to put the new directions' playlist in the last chapter. But it was…
Jonah with the group- My way- Frank Sinatra
Group number- You can come to me- Ross Lynch and Laura Marano

If you don't remember Brad's story and Beatrice. Then I suggest you go back to chapter 20 "Hem" and read Brad's point of view there.

"So…" A few minutes later us new directions, the unitards and the vocal adrenaline stood out on the stage waiting to hear who the judges were sending to Western Ohio Regionals in April. All of us New directions stood in our new hoodies with our arms around each others' shoulders in a long line pressed together as much as possible.

One of my arms were put around Lex's shoulders, the other around Jonah's who was shaking like a leaf from head to toe and I couldn't blame him. No matter how much we had to try and get away from a matter of fact there was a big possibility that even if we were sent to regionals that Jonah wouldn't be there for it, so if this didn't work out… then he had lost at his one and only competition.

Of course, we all others thought that even if we weren't sent to regionals just being here and doing our numbers as good as we could have it would be a victory in itself. But Jonah was of another belief and he absolutely hated losing.

"…The unitards." Mick Johnson the YouTube sensation who was one of the judges shouted out in microphone who came in third place. "And on first place and going through to Regionals is…." There was a pause and I gripped tightly around the fabric in Jonah's and Lex's shirts and with how Jonah looked- I wasn't even the only Carmichael here holding my breath.

"…LADIES AND GENTLEMEN FROM LIMA OHIO" Already here we had gotten what was happening and started screaming off happiness. "THE NEW DIRECTIONS." I let go off the shirts I had been holding onto, someone grabbed onto Jonah and lifted him up on their shoulders handing him he trophy, I hugged someone but had no idea who. We had done it!

We had really done it! We had beaten vocal adrenaline. I shouted right out without words but wasn't exactly sure on why- but we had done it! And so Jonah was put onto the floor again and I walked straight onto him and we wrapped our arms around each other and held on tightly. And for I don't know how long.

But it was long enough for the people in the audience to had start moving out the doors, for the judges and vocal adrenaline to leave the stage and for everyone in the New Directions to come and hug as well so at last we stood in a big group hug with no intentions of letting go any time soon.

"You did it Jonah." I whispered, too low for anyone else than for him to hear. Even though when he spoke it was loud enough for everyone to hear it and so probably guessed what I had whispered.

"No Leigh. We did it!"

"Hey…" Brad came walking onto the stage just as we let go of each other with a woman and a little, blonde girl. "Beatrice these are the new directions that I work with. New directions this is Beatrice, my daughter that I didn't know I had until in October this year. Now she's very important to me so she's going to come to rehearsals a bit now and then." Brad turned around and took Beatrice's hand and walked out again.

"Did he just…" Aiden began.

"Speak?" Lex continued.

"I think he did!" Mr. Schue answered but at least as impressed by all of us others that Brad had spoken as all of us others. And that he had a daughter? Wow!

"Jonah." The parents and everyone were waiting in the choir room and mum came straight over to Jonah and I could see it all in her body language and hear it in her voice. She was definitely not happy about the way Jonah had been speaking about that it was too late for him and this was a fight I did not want to hear- or witness.

"Lex." I mumbled. "Can you just agree with me when I say that I'm supposed to go with you… I'll explain later." Lex nodded and I went to my dad and gave him a meaning look before I pulled a white lie that I had planned to go with Lex home and come home later tonight. Dad knew I was lying, but went with it and said he'd tell mum- who would definitely believe it and I grabbed my coat, bag and gloves and then pulled Lex with me into the hallway, her parents followed us as I started explaining what was going on.

"So mum doesn't want Jonah to be talking like it's too late because I mean it she doesn't want her baby to die- that's understandable none of us do but she's in more of denial than any of us others. And she also talks herself into that when Jonah talks like that it's to somehow force others to do what they can and everything. But Jonah wouldn't do that and I think you know that. So now there's going to be this huge fight with mum shouting and Jonah trying to explain and dad trying to mend which all comes down to mum crying because I know we're lucky and our parents care about us but she just cares too much!"

"Okay… so… what are you going to do? Walk around in the cold for a couple of hours until you think that it's over and can go home?" I shook my head and counted the money I had in my pockets. "Because… in that case I think you can come with us!" She raised an eyebrow at her parents who nodded.

"No thanks. My mum is obsessed with eating healthy so I… am going to McDonald's eat until I can't eat anymore and then go to the library and sit there until it closes and it's only two blocks away from where I live so really… I love days I get to do this!" I turned around and started walking down the road. "BYE SEE YOU ON MONDAY."

The evening's air was cold and every time I breathed out something that looked like smoke formed in front of my lips. I had to walk slowly and be careful not to slip but, at least I was walking steadily at this point and I couldn't be more grateful for it.

I had never liked ordering at restaurants- didn't think that the clerks needed to know what or how much I was eating- and damn it I loved those express machines! Where I could just order the biggest meal there was just because I could and because I wanted to and was tired of healthy food day in and day out.

Sitting in the McDonald's restaurant chewing on my Onion Rings and staring at the street lights outside I couldn't help but remember this time last year when Hannah- who had been my best friend for really long had been visiting Lima after moving to Benton's harbor years ago and I had been sitting here. The first time we had met my Jack.

He had just come inside the door, his hand holding Megan's and Mr. And Mrs. McCall right after. Jack had shook his head so the slush in it from the weather outside flew all around and on me. Jack had noticed and had looked right at me to tell he was sorry but… then we had looked each other in the eyes and we had never really gotten to that part.

So yeah, I and my one and true love had met at McDonald's where we counted out he lived three blocks away from my best friend, in which town and wow I had fallen in love without being able to catch myself so badly. But there wasn't exactly anything romantic with meeting at my McDonald's was it?

Well, it could be as romantic or not- romantic as it wanted to. It was our story and I wasn't going to change that- or my very perfect Jackie for any story or boy in the world!

I went to the library as I said I would afterwards. Finished all of the homework that I had and felt good about that for a while before I fished up my ragged copy of the fault in our stars and sat and looked up my favorite parts in it for a long while before I walked out on the main street and went to get the last of the Christmas presents.

I bought a copy of the fault in our stars- of course, for Jack, a box of rainbow loom bands for Megan and for dad a necklace that also would have a necklace for me. Mine shaped as a heart and with the words "Daddy's little girl" And dad was just a flat square reading "There is this girl who stole my heart, she calls me daddy" and it had a whole that could fit my one and it was just too sweet.

"Where are mum and Jonah?" I asked dad when I came home and he sat by the kitchen table eating his late dinner. Dad smiled slightly and showed me to be quiet while he showed me through the hallway and carefully opened the door to Jonah's room.

Mum and Jonah lied on Jonah's bed, there were stains of tears on mum's cheeks. If I knew Jonah right though he had been all calm and he didn't seem to have been crying. Although now they were both deeply asleep and the only sounds heard was the heart monitor Jonah was hooked up on when asleep buzzing, and their breaths.

Dad checked the monitor, although he wouldn't have had to since if Jonah's heart started beating like it shouldn't beat it would start beeping and no one within the whole house would be able to sleep in that. But he wanted to double check and for me it was only to respect that and let him do it.

"Come on Ari." I clapped my leg when I walked out of the room to have Ariel come with me. She had grown a lot these past few months- and she would grow more and her fur had gone really, really thick and warm. My fingers were still cold from being outside- I had had freeze burns when I was younger so after that I would very easily get very cold on my fingers, now I sat down on my bed, clapped for Ariel to jump up next to me and buried my fingers in her fir.

It was late already when I came home so just a bit later I changed into my pyjamas and turned my lights off. And then crossed another square in the calendar I always had in December to count down days until Christmas. It ended on Christmas day and had written things I would do on certain days on it.

On the twenty second it said last day at school, concert in the gym hall with the glee club- and at last we would also go to Benton's harbor in the afternoon in the evening and arriving there at night. Then we would be in Benton's harbor at Jack's and his family's during Christmas and come home again on the evening the twenty seventh.

For a moment I was thinking about Moa- I knew her family were staying here at least this Christmas but they had to go with some Swedish traditions didn't they? And what were the Swedish traditions- was it something that could all be fixed here too or would she be all down all week like she got when she was sad because she couldn't do the things she used to?

I knew that for me it would be a really weird Christmas without going to church- the only time a year dad let us come and see him for real at work. He had even fixed so he would hold a Christmas mass in the church in Benton's harbor.

Moa POV

On Sunday night after sectionals I lied in my bed and stared up in my ceiling. In the ceiling there hung these plastic- glow- in- the- dark- stars, they had been hanging in my bedroom in Kiruna too. So to at least have something was good- even though we had sold away most of our things before we moved. Everything we brought except for ourselves were some CD's, books, movies and that kind of things. A few sets of clothes and very few pieces of furniture, and upon that cellphones and laptops.

It was first now, when we had lived here for half the year we were actually starting to get the house to look like there was actually someone living in there. My room had the same bed as I had always been sleeping in since I was little. But a desk, chair, arm chair, bookshelf and wardrobe bought in stores and second- hand.

I turned my head and looked towards my slalom- skiing equipment that stood in a corner. At home in Sweden I would have been out a month ago in the hills, worked all year around to stay in shape even when it wasn't skiing- season. But since we moved here I had put them in the corner and since then barely been able to look at them because it just hurt too much to know that there wouldn't be any use for them this winter.

Nils came into the room with our kitten Milla in his hands and I helped him up on the bed. "Cat." He held up Milla a little. "Kitten," He pointed to my desk. "Desk" He started pointing around the room. "Bed, pillow, lamp, window, shelf, chair." I smiled at him and pushed myself up to sit ruffling in his hands- he had learnt loads of new words since he started trying for real.

"Hur känns det att vi ska vara i USA över jul då?"(How does it feel that we're going to be in the USA for Christmas then?) I asked him how he felt about being in America for Christmas. Nils thought for a while and kept on scratching Milla as he thought about what to answer me. I guessed he didn't really remember how Christmas was in Sweden but… they were still new traditions for all of us.

"Det känns bra. Jag tror att det blir roligt Moa, som i Sverige." (It feels good. I think it's going to be fun Moa. Like in Sweden) Then he pushed himself down from my bed and walked out of my room leaving me alone again with my own thoughts about America- and how on earth Christmas would be and feel here.

I mean- I could live without Robin Hood, and also without the sweet potato- ew! But Christmas without Mickey's trailer? Beetroot salad and meat balls? Without can you whistle Johanna? That wouldn't be Christmas for me! And without Santa's workshop and that chess paint? My life was over!

I slumped down on the bed flat on my stomach again and laid my head on the side and stared into the wall- I guess I could just lie here anyway, not caring about anything until I just drifted away. People around me had either left me or they would have enough with their own problems without having me there!

I reached up and grabbed a photo from my shelf. Mr. Schuester had shot a photo of this year's New Direction in the beginning of the year, right after Rafaél joined. I glanced over the group, my smile was a bit half and it looked a bit like I was wondering about what on earth to do. Rafaél stood with his arm wrapped around Amy's shoulders, Jonah was being silly as usual with a big smile slash grimace on his face.

I looked from Jonah to Lex, her smile was the biggest of them all- except for Jonah's where she stood with her arms around Tyler's shoulders and reaching up to see over his shoulder. It was kind of a silly picture, everyone were kind of doing their own thing. But what I found impressive was that the one smiling the biggest were the ones fighting the biggest battles.

I knew what had happened to Lex last year, it was frequently- but more and more seldom brought up in the glee club and we had all been told it in big parts. I couldn't even tell how much my heart was breaking for her- God if… If Nils died and I would have some way to believe it was my fault- even though it wasn't Lex's fault that Maddie had. God… I didn't even want to think about what could happen.

And Jonah- God if I had known that I would- that I could die at pretty much any moment, I wouldn't be able to do anything. I would just lie down and wait for it to happen I guess because… I wouldn't be able to just go and live if I knew something like that would happen but Jonah he… he just lived like… like there wasn't a worry in the whole wide world. And with the biggest smile of them all.

And if they could do that… then maybe it was up to me to create my own happiness, even here in America. Maybe things had been and would be all knew. But maybe Nils was right too- it would be fun. If I would just let it be! And with that thought I pushed myself up and walked out in the kitchen where mum stood with a big box of Christmas junk. And I took the box with my things and carried it up to my room where I put it all like I used to. With the big Santa on my desk, the little one on my bedside table, and the red paper- whatever over the window.

After putting up everything I had on my own I sat Indian style in the middle of the floor and looked around. Well… it was new- it was scary, everything was new and everything was scary- but I guess that with my friends and my family always being there I could make it work in some way.

Mr. Schue had put up so we would have a glee club rehearsal every day from Monday to Thursday, to be ready for a Christmas concert the last thing we did on Friday before the Christmas holidays. And he had asked us to bring up Christmas songs and even though it was in Swedish- I knew exactly which one I was doing.

Sitting on the piano and singing in front of the new directions on Monday I just knew every word I was singing about and couldn't have meant it more. I had only changed one word- it said year two thousand and seven in the song and I changed seven to seventeen to have it be this year's number of year.

"Well." After I was done Mr. Schue stood up and came over. "I didn't understand a word of that but I think we've got our first song to the concert on Friday." The others clapped as I jumped down from the piano and Mr. Schue clapped my shoulder before I walked over and sat down in between Leah and Caroline as usual.

I had to admit though, that even if I had kind of accepted that I was here and that wouldn't change and I had decided to make the best out of everything and so… It would still feel weird. The song about those mice and rats making a dress for Cinderella, ginger bread houses and eating way too much of meat ball and beetroot salad had always been parts of my Christmas- things that couldn't change. And I guess now they would.

Standing in the gym behind the curtain on Friday afternoon I couldn't have been more nervous. "I'm so nervous. I'm going to get sick. I can't sing in Swedish in front of all these people they're going to laugh at me and I'm going to be forever the girl who sang in Swedish at an American school and was laughed at and I…"

"SHUT UP." Jonah shouted at the top of his lungs and I was left standing straight up and down not knowing what to say or what to do. "You can do this. And if they laugh at you it's their problem because come on! Swedish is awesome!"

I couldn't help but smile. Jonah had said multiple times that he thought that Swedish was awesome- he thought it was awesome that anyone could understand anything of what the words were. And I took Jonah's hand and then squeezed it. Well- I could do it, maybe I would just have to sing and the words would just come by themselves- after all it was my first language.

And so I grabbed the curtain as the very short instrumental began before I pushed the curtain aside and walked on my own onto the stage softly singing in Swedish, in my language. I had been singing in Swedish since I came here before, and talking in Swedish with my family and video- chatting with people at home, but it still felt so relieving to actually be able to use my language again.

The whole first song of the concert went all as it was planned. Even at the ending refrain when the others were singing along- and their Swedish was terrible! Luckily the other two songs of the concert were both in English and well- known songs so everything everyone had to think about was to reach all the notes, especially in the last song. And look as happy as possible.

"That was awesome!" A little while later we all headed to the choir room. "Great job everybody." Mr. Schue got in front of everybody. "Now, I've bought a little something for you all for you to open on Christmas." He started pulling up small presents from a plastic bag, checked the name tag and handed them out. "Now everyone have a great chris…"

"Moa!" Mr. Schue hadn't finished when a voice I so easily recognized was heard from the doorway. And I turned my head and looked there only to confirm what I already knew. And seeing this person again only made my heart ache and made tears rise in my eyes before any of us had said anything.

"Moa jag…" (The translations for this is in the bottom A/N) Alva began. "Jag… jag är så, så ledsen. Vera hon... hon lovade att hon skulle sprida några dumma rykten om mig om jag inte gjorde som hon sade. Och jag vet att det inte är någon ursäkt men på något sätt så lyckades hon hjärntvätta både mig och Viktor och jag... jag är så ledsen för vad jag gjorde. Jag... jag önskar bara att vi kunde vara vänner igen men... åh jag har varit en sådan skitstövel!"

I held up my hand to silent Alva as I knew her and she would only keep on talking if I didn't stop her. "Alva I… I will say this in English so these people understand my reasons too.. and the thing is… you really hurt me with what you did and I! I have been so angry with you and I've hated you and Viktor and I've hated myself- what kind of person is my best friend my whole life and then just does that."

"Moa…" Alva breathed, but I held up my hand to silent her again.

"And you are a jerk." I told her. She nodded with tear- filled eyes, and my voice got softer as I continued. "But you're my jerk." Alva laughed through the tears and I took one step forward to be close enough to just embrace her as hard as I could. And then I just held her, and she held me for several seconds and for the first time in what felt like forever.

"Everyone, this is my friend Alva from Sweden." Alva greeted the others "Alva this is the new directions. And… what do you say? Welcome home?" Alva nodded. "Okay, we will be doing one song more and it's in Swedish and I hope you like it." I started singing, we had sung this loads of times before so Alva knew exactly where to start singing and I knew every tone and every word of the whole song.

"Great guys." Mr. Schue clapped his hands and stood up and handed me my present. "And now, one piece of homework for the holidays for you all" the protests were loud and wild but Mr. Schue held up his hand and silent everyone. "Have the best Christmas holidays of them all, every single one of you. Merry Christmas."

"Är du redo att se mitt nya hem?" (Are you ready to see my new home) Alva nodded. "Stannar du över jul" (Are you staying over Christmas?) Alva nodded again. "Du är bäst… och Viktor?" (You are the best… and Viktor) Alva smiled at first, then suddenly looked sadder and shook her head- he wasn't going to change.

"Well," I said in English because Mr. Schue was listening now. "I bet it's going to be the best new Christmas anyway!"

And then, with my arm around my best friend's shoulders I walked down the hallway again.

Leah POV

The last half hour of the train ride to Benton Harbor I stood out in the hallway jumping with joy. Jack! My Jack! It felt like forever since I had seen him last- even though it was only about a month- I couldn't wait to see him. And Megan was going to meet Ariel- who she had nagged me to bring the whole fall holidays and lied in a cage by my feet.

At last the train slowed down and I could see the McCall's standing by the station house. I took my bag and lifted them down to Judy- Mr. McCall and then jumped down from the train and up and threw my arms around his neck and kissed him, for so long Jonah shouted "Enough with the snogging I'm cold let's go"

It didn't matter where I was living or where I was. In Jack's arms- I was home!

"Moa I... I... I am so, so sorry. Vera she… she promised she'd spread some stupid rumors about me if I didn't did as she told me to. And I know it's not an excuse but in some way she managed to completely brainwash both me and Viktor and I… I am so sorry for what I did. I… I only wish we could be friends again but… oh I have been such a jerk!"

Playlist
Moa- En helt ny jul (A whole new Christmas)- Amy Diamond
Group number number one- Merry Christmas everyone- Shakin Stevens
Group number number two- So this is Christmas- Celine Dion
Moa and Alva- Välkommen hem (Welcome home)- EMD