"Don't bend; Don't water it down; Don't try to make it logical; Don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly."

Franz Kafka


\|/

We've landed.

Elena looked up with a start at the voice that appeared in her mind out of nowhere, her restraints digging into her wrists and pinching her head at the sudden movement.

Wha-Huh? Elena had been caught with her head in the clouds again, as there wasn't much else to do. We've 'landed' landed? You mean we're on the ground? Her startled mind barraged her sister with questions.

Yes, I felt it, and they've been moving us out without wearing those suits they seem to need whenever they aren't on a planet tailored ever so precisely for them. Her sister answered with a hint of disdain but continued contemplatively. But we're here sooner than I expected. We couldn't have gone very far.

How do you know?

I've been on their ships before, and this has–by far–been the shortest of my… tenures on one so far.

Oh. I… Okay. Elena had so much she wanted to say but ultimately knew things weren't going to magically get better. This wouldn't stop her from hoping, even if such hope usually only led to more pain. Yet, she knew if she gave up that hope, then she'd be giving up Adrian, and that wasn't going to happen.

Do they still have you restrained? Her sister asked after a moment more of silence.

Yes. Was all Elena could manage without a mewl.

This was the only 'silver lining' in their enforced artificial isolation from one another. She could hide just the sheer writhing despair that burrowed deep in her heart, even when her trembling voice or stuttered words liked to give it away anyway.

Nothing about any of this was fair. She was the only one who knew her host, but it made him having been torn away from her all the worse. And now, since she held more power over the immaterial than her sisters, they chained her up like a dog. The resentment it bred, birthed a pang of guilt in turn. Her sisters may have been allowed some modicum more freedom, but they were imprisoned all the same.

I'm sorry to hear that.

It's ok. I'm ok. She lied.

Learning to speak, more or less the same way humans did but along the mental medium, had come to her much quicker than she had anticipated. It didn't take long for words to stick. Once the ball had begun to roll, it continued with ease.

It wouldn't have been possible without her sisters, who knew how to speak themselves. A fact she was very grateful for but embarrassingly kept that thanks to herself even though she wasn't quite sure why. Still, Elena was the only one they could reach and speak to, and she was the only one who could speak back. So, it wasn't a surprise they'd been more than willing to help her in that matter.

Do you know where we might be? Elena asked half hopefully, steering the conversation elsewhere for both their sakes. Or if maybe it could be... better here?

Doubtful, and you're as far as we can reach right now, remember? The best chance to know is by asking those they've moved already yourself, as they've been going room to room in doing so. I'm actually surprised they managed to get the one in the cell next to mine to finally stop running laps around the walls. She was silent for a moment. But I'm sure we'll find out soon, as it won't be long until they reach us.

That wasn't exactly helping. Elena watched her fingers twitch and tense even more incessantly in front of her. But her sister was right; she was the only one who could know these things, and yet she was asking her. Yet, even Elena's own exceptional strength didn't allow her such agency beyond the ship. She would have to wait and see like the rest.

No, I can't. I'm sorry. I can try again, though.

It's quite alright, Elena. Her sister comforted her softly. We knew we wouldn't be stuck on this ship forever. It's best to stay focused and, most of all, keep hope with yourself and with the rest of us as we do you. We all need each other. Especially now.

I… yes. Ok. I'll try my best. You know I will.

Of course, I do. She almost laughed. We all do. You're stronger than you think, and you've done more than any of us could have. You just have to be willing to see it. It may be hard for you to see - to believe, but it's true.

Not strong enough…

Don't be like that. Her sister gently reprimanded. You can't blame yourself for what happened. You were barely even emergent when it had, and even then, you were already so much stronger than I could have ever hoped to be before I molted.

Elena's malaiseful self-disparagings stilled as her sister spoke so reassuring and compassionate. She was quite deferential to this sister of hers, and it was easy to see why. Unnamed as she was, it detracted not a single ounce of importance or love she found with her. She was caring and guiding and seemed to know the answer to most things she asked or provided a good path to one otherwise. All that was there to leave her wanting was the noticeable distance and detachment that lingered around her when she wasn't playing the role of surrogate maternal figure.

None of them knew where their queen was or if she was even still alive. The thought worked well to cast a shadow over their spirits, so they shied away from the subject. Especially whenever Elena asked.

Ah, and here they are now. Her sister said quite calmly, considering the implications.

Already?! Elena exclaimed, quite startled despite knowing it was coming. I-I hoped- I mean, I wished we uh... Her rattling nerves made it near impossible to articulate a coherent thought amidst the whirlwind that once again swirled within, expressing itself as she twitched and strained in her confines as her breathing hastened. Will you be fine? She finally managed to put a string of words together. Will I?

You shouldn't worry. Her sister's words flowed smoothly yet sternly. There's no point to it right now. Not when there's nothing yet to be done. She tried to soothe Elena's fears. And one last thing, Elena.

Y-yes, sister? Even over this telepathic medium, her voice nearly failed her.

I know why you're so reluctant to speak. Why you're so quiet, almost refusing to talk at all unless we do first, despite being the only one we're able to talk to. But please know this: I'm confident you'll meet him again. She said tender and quiet.

I...I hope so. She couldn't hide it this time. In reality, she didn't know if that was true, and it scared her. I really hope so.

They knew that Elena knew her host, had met him, and bonded with him. This only added to her status as the odd one out, for none of the others had. They talked little of him, however. Their initial curiosity was tamed when they could feel how much being torn away from him was already withering her. For her sake, they avoided discussion of him. He already ruled much of her idle thoughts, anyway.

You will, I'm sure of it. But for now, I'll see you on the other side. Her sister's words were tame and tired now. Or so I shall hope. Finally, as her presence slowly faded from Elena's mind, she was alone yet again.

These restraints… oh, how she wished to be free of them despite them never moving a millimeter to her protest like every fruitless time before. She wanted something, anything else right now. She snarled and clenched her jaw until it hurt. All she could do was let her sorrow and loathing be heard in her terrible screech as a foul gas filled the room.

Rage against the growing dark all she might, it would arrive all the same.

/|\


\|/

When the wells of his unnatural drive had begun to run dry, the growing pillars of dark smoke accompanied by distant sporadic gunfire from atop the mountain took its place in propelling him up its slopes.

The maps that had guided him well enough through the scarce roads that eventually disappeared and faded into the rocky terrain of the mountain itself once they stopped being much help, thanks to that wrong turn he'd made in the midst of him being chased up the mountain. He'd had quite a lot of ground to make up for on foot in the late hours of the night and barely afforded himself the luxury to stop and rest only when he absolutely needed it.

Now, as he was pulling himself up the final steep crags that allowed him passage atop this hill, the pale light of the early morning sun began to rise and scrape across the tall, winding mountain range as the sun lay low beyond the horizon.

Raspy and painful breaths were a struggle to catch and draw into his lungs as he cleared this final hurdle. He wondered just when was the last time he got some sleep - good sleep. Everything else he'd had so far had done little in the way of rejuvenation or repair. A nap, being knocked out, put under for surgery, and then knocked out again–and much more painful that time–weren't much in the way of meaningful rest, but for just how long could he continue this way?

He felt like he hadn't stopped moving since he'd woken up as they were docking at the beginning of this beloved nightmare.

But how long had it been now? Twenty hours? More? He didn't know, but each of them felt like a lifetime so long as he was alone, and two lifetimes for each one spent pulling himself up these hills. He'd have all the time in the world for rest later, but there was no time like the present, and if he didn't use it, then there would be no time at all.

His hand landed on top of the final edge, shaking as it pulled him atop it, where he rolled to face the morning hues as it fought the widening columns of smoke for the sky. He just needed a second to catch his breath; that was all, and he counted each second he did, for none could be afforded to be wasted.

One. His eyes bolted open again. He hadn't even noticed they'd closed, but the single word of the single second he'd allowed them to shut echoed in his head, taunting him. But, it was a taunt that was enough to make him sit up. It was time to get busy living or get busy crying.

Pushing himself up with his fists, he was indeed at the top now and now needed only to round the outcropping of rocks that stood at the last barrier between him and his destination.

And round it as he did, he stopped just as he must.

Jesus-

His heart and mouth dropped alike.

Christ

A great deal of people, distant and small from his vantage point above them all, ran to and fro, shouting at each other in an urgent panic. At the edge of the crater that was the tip of this mountain sat the fortress of a building that was most likely to hold the keys to his goal—a life with true meaning and purpose. What it also held within its smoldering walls was a fire that raged through half of it and blazed hungrily for the rest.

With eyes darting across the crater and the ledge he was on that surrounded it, Adrian knew he needed to get there fast. Seeing as he could skim around the edge, mostly out of sight, he figured that was his best bet and that the revolutionaries in the crater had more pressing matters to pay attention to.

Keeping low, Adrian's eyes stayed glued to the burning structure as he skirted around the top of the crater's edge, watching the spreading flames. Each sway and lick those ravaging flames took on the building inspired a deep concern that thrummed in his chest and pushed him forward faster each time he looked up to see it. Little care was devoted to the going ons in the courtyard itself beyond making sure they didn't see him.

From what he could see, the main source of their panic was the fact that they were still dragging their wounded and those caught by the flames out of the building. Not to mention the general fear that this compound, which would have been fundamental for them as an early warning system, was burning away without a hint of reprieve.

Adrian was already late to the party, but he wondered just what they had to have done to cause this mess. This whole situation may have been bad for them down there, but by God, it was near existential for Adrian. If he didn't get those jump records, then he didn't know if he'd ever be able to find Elena—at least not in time. The thought of it drove a dagger through him that pushed him onward.

And if that became the case? Well, he'd see to it that the fire became the least of their worries.

His shuffle around the edge, which was often dangerously narrow and steep more than he would have liked, continued until he finally rounded towards the back of the building and out of sight. The flames still worked to cast their destruction further within the building. He had to get in there now.

Making sure no one could see him, Adrian found a part of the crater wall that was shallow enough to lower himself down and dig his feet into the loose dirt and rocks before letting go and, with a wobbly balance, sliding down toward the building as the rocks and soil gave way under him. The further he surfed down the loose earth, the more he realized just how hot the fires were.

By the time he landed at the bottom, scraping his palms as he did so, he was wincing and drawing back from the heat that already began to eat at him. He couldn't imagine how he'd manage inside. He guessed the trick would be he'd make himself manage whether such an idea was feasible or not. There was no other choice.

"This is good." He growled through his teeth as beads of sweat began to roll down his face and make his search more difficult than it already was. The only way in he could find wasn't nearly as far from the sweltering flames as he would have liked.

"I like it. I LOVE it! I couldn't live without it!" He continued to declare, driving himself toward the deathly wall of heat. I couldn't live with myself if I gave up. He now let the words he used to command himself forward ring within. I can't live without her. That idea, that fact, it swam quietly yet unignorably around him. He didn't have the heart to look down at it. Not yet. Not when he could so easily lose it, where it would hurt all the more should he see it and lose it than having not. It wasn't an easy thing to do, though, when the ever-constant ripples it made unceasingly lapped against his heart and could not be ignored. Even if he wanted to.

Approaching the door, the heat felt near unbearable already. The portion of the building that would hold the actual system-traffic station hadn't been completely engulfed yet, but there was still time.

He trudged up to the door but stopped before his hand reached the handle. He could feel how his skin, even through the cloth, would stick to the metal and slide right off the bone.

His will had carried him this far, deep into the heat that would have turned any man with any semblance of self-preservation away long ago as the fires screamed: 'Leave this place, for it is condemned by even nature!'

Even his own soul took heed as it heard its warning. For as he stood at this door, his will that had stirred an inferno of his own seemed to falter and pause in deathly awe.

This tall sheet of steel, which in most cases would easily deny him and half a dozen men like him entrance through most means of force, now struggled under the strength of this ruthless blaze. Even if not within the flames, it still creaked and groaned with the occasional violent pop, screaming at any who would dare enter to get away.

As unnatural as his drive may have been, the sight of such unbridled and impartial wrath that nature conjured as it slowly overwhelmed even that which would outlive and outlast him through most trials of time and violence summoned a primordial fear that kept him at bay.

For much of his life, Adrian had been wading through a miasma of doubt and hesitancy. Only occasionally managing to break free and gasp for desperate breaths of clarity. It wasn't until now, when the stench of this pollution was carried upon the winds of his fear, did he realize that for the first time in a long time, he'd been without it. When she –the very thought of her pushing against this fog once more–had been pulled from him, not only did she carry his heart with her but had cast away the shadows that had stalked him his entire life.

Dawn was rising but its light was still to be seen.

A strange coolness wrapped around him, enveloping him. He only felt the heat emanating from this building like a rock felt the waves that beat against it, and its fiery wrath was dim in his ears. A blanket had been cast over him; it was soft and enveloping, shielding him from this fearful heat while flooding him with a new invigorating warmth that worked with him rather than against. It was a warmth akin to the one he felt with her. One when he first saw her, when he was able to first hold her and one that he felt nearly every second when he was with her and even now when she merely graced his memories.

But something was missing.

It was her, of course. She was missing, the prime and eternal source of this. Elena. The word wound true through him.

It was why he was here, after all. It was why he faced this door now and why it and the accursed hellfire behind it, which screamed their threats, would not make him turn and flee.

Adrian backed away a few steps, but only so that he may return with even more fervor. He leaned back and looked at the area just below the handle. His target. Bringing his foot up, he drove forward into it with as much weight and force as he could.

It bent inwards, the latch breaking on the first drive. The second one ended its suffering and sent it grinding in.

A blast of heat flew out to hit him, knocking him down. If he had believed it to be bad out here, then that which had been trapped within put that belief to shame.

Adrian struggled to breathe as his lungs felt to seize for a moment; the sheer calefaction it caused seemed to steal the air from his lungs to fuel itself. But luckily there was no smoke to be found yet.

Hell had arrived, and it carried with it high water.

Scrambling back up, he ducked his head, prepped his lungs with several quick, short breaths, and stormed in.

It was terrible in here. He was nearly gasping, or more so gagging, for breath like a fish out of water. The only reason he didn't fall, falter, and fail was the cloak of will that he still bore.

If his memory served him right from what he'd managed to see from outside, the traffic center itself shouldn't be too far. It should be a bit to the left of the middle... or was that when he was looking at it from the front? He stopped as his eyes widened. He couldn't remember. It was probably left of center. Probably. If not, he'd just go to the other side... should time permit.

The further he trudged in, the worse it got. Each time when he thought he'd seen the worst of it, he was not long later proven wrong. It wasn't until the current halls he trekked harbored a layer of smoke that lingered on the ceiling did he really begin to worry.

Where the fuck was it?! He should've been right on top of it by now! Instead, all he had was a growing fog of smoke that burned his eyes and stung his lungs. Running from hallway to hallway did little to aid him either. He was utterly lost.

In the middle of his frantic search, Adrian nearly tripped when something snagged his leg by the ankle. Stumbling back to balance, he whipped his head around because whatever it was had felt too alive. There was nothing to be seen for a moment until he saw a slight movement through the heat-tinged air.

Sitting on the ground, barely propping themselves up on their elbows and almost hidden in the thick haze, was an unfortunate soul who had been caught and strangled to the floor by the smoke that was currently working the same evil on Adrian.

They–or from what Adrian could tell through his squinted eyes–he could barely move. His head bobbed weakly as it tried to stay upright, looking at Adrian, but his visage was obscured. The same could almost be said for their hand that feebly but expressly hung out, pointed towards him.

Another lost soul in this maelstrom.

Adrian stared at the man momentarily, but it was getting hotter, and the flames were converging. He wasn't a body like the rest he'd stumbled across in here yet, but that wouldn't last long. Adrian could only pray they would not suffer much longer and continued on. He could not swap his duty to save Elena for another.

Adrian's figure disappeared back into the haze, and his boots grew distant until they could no longer be heard over the nearing flames.

The man watched as Adrian went and, soon after, let himself fall back to the floor, resting his head for what would be the final time.

He wanted to scream out in defiance of the night, but coughing fits took its place when they tried. At least down here, He was away from most of the smoke. But maybe that just prolonged it.

The anger that festered on this world had given it and its people new life, new hope. Yet, this anger had carried the winds of madness with it. A madness that saw everyone as leaves upon its winds - only meant to drift away to make room for the next. It was a madness that had overtaken him as well, and he reveled in it. At least they'd reached a point of comfortable numbness.

It wasn't long after he'd closed his eyes, if his perception of time was still to be trusted, had they shot back open when a pair of hands roughly squeezed his wrists and yanked him forward and up with a force that brought the pain back into his body. They had moved too fast to manage to voice that pain. Almost immediately after, he had also left the ground and landed stomach first onto a pair of shoulders. It was up there, when the air had been forced out of their lungs did, it remind them just how much everything hurt and burned.

Then they began forward, bouncing painfully on those shoulders with each step.

"I swear to God. If you're dead up there. I will personally wrangle your soul back into your body so I can tear it right back out myself!" Adrian huffed out, muffled behind the shirt he'd wrapped around his mouth in an attempt to avoid choking on the blistering air.

In his wandering, the only area of note to be found was the front entrance. He'd completely lost his way to where he'd entered and was still ignorant about where the control room was itself. With the way things were going, it would likely stay that way.

With each step he made toward the exit, he could only feel the overbearing dread that he was losing his only chance grow. This dread, while it screamed at him from every direction in a deafening chorus, wasn't as strong as what he'd felt with each step he took from the individual he was condemning to a terrible death.

Rounding the final corner to a hallway that nearly blinded him, he saw the flames were soon to overtake the entrance as well.

So this was it then. Was he really going to possibly be trading his only chance at finding her to save this soul he knew nothing of?

The dim beams of morning light that he stepped through the licking flames into answered him, and it didn't take long for their exit to be noticed.

Several revolutionaries who had been busy trying to salvage what they could looked on at Adrian and the limp man upon his shoulders with wide-eyes. When one finally dropped what they were doing to rush towards them, the others quickly followed suit.

"Here! Give him here! We got him!" A few of them pulled the two away from the searing heat and lowered the man off of Adrian's shoulders.

Adrian watched two of them take the man's arms around each of their shoulders and carry him to a pair of medics who were rushing over. He watched them the entire way until the one began to frantically work on him, and the other moved towards Adrian.

Adrian continued to stare at the man, the source of his guilt that had made him abandon possibly his only chance to find Elena as he was carried away. He hoped he lived, and he hated him for it.

"Hey! Can you hear me? Are you alright?" Adrian slowly turned to look at the medic, who was concernedly looking him over.

She grabbed Adrian's face and pried one of his squinting eyes open. Adrian yanked her hand away and squeezed it tight as he turned to look at the building that now harbored only the flames that roared from its every window and door. He squeezed his eyes tight at the sight. His chest felt tight, and his breath hitched and stuttered.

Damnit.

He turned away and rubbed the wet blur from his vision, telling himself it was just the smoke. His eyes shot open again when he felt the medic trying to pull her wrist from his tight grip, to which he let go.

"S-sorry." He mumbled, glancing at the sooty marks he'd left on her.

"Yeah…" She rubbed her wrist. "It'll be fine, but how about you? Walk over here with me." She pulled him by the arm to where the other medics, more having converged on their position by now.

"I'm fine." He tried to pull away from her, but she was stronger than she looked, or he was weaker than he'd realized, as she pulled him back.

"I'm just… tired." To say the least of it.

"Yeah, and my name's Lindy Sue." She scoffed as she began to look him over. "Which it isn't. At least you can still breathe fine by the look and sound of it, but that doesn't tell me much. Does it hurt when you inhale or exhale?"

"No." Adrian looked at where they'd taken the other man, who now had most of the medics crowding around him, and it sounded like he was alive. The sight made his lip twitch but also spawned a strange feeling of relief amidst the ruin.

"That doesn't really tell me much either, but it looks like you lucked out. Just in case, keep this on for now." She tried to place a breathing mask on him. He stopped it just short, still looking at the group.

"Is he going to make it?"

She looked annoyed at him stopping for her yet again but softened her gaze as she looked over at the group, which seemed to have much greater a sense of urgency.

"I don't know. He's in pretty bad shape." She replied absentmindedly but turned back to Adrian with a hopeful look. "Hey. You did a good job bringing him out, and Thai's tougher than he looks. If anyone would survive that, it'd probably be him."

Oh, for FUCK'S sake! Adrian had to keep from yelling out loud.

Not wanting to pray for the man's death now, Adrian instead prayed this wouldn't come to haunt him later. If anything would go in Adrian's favor on this hell world, it was that he would be off of it by then. The face mask was applied with no resistance this time.

Sitting idle and drained, Adrian watched the going-on around him and dared not to look back at the ashes of his plans and, thus, his hopes. He could only let the waves of warmth spawned by the distant inferno be carried to him along the breeze.

It was all starting to catch up now as he sat there without a battle to fight. The aching and burning, the exhaustion and loneliness. Oh God, the loneliness and the longing it bred put all else to shame.

Yet, the world was still moving past him as he sat here, so he moved to get up. It was harder than he thought.

"Hey! Hey! What are you doing?" The medic caught his movement from the corner of her as she had been looking over another burn patient but didn't move to stop him.

"I'm fine!" Adrian grunted as he pushed off the ground with his fists and took off the mouthpiece. "I just needed a minute. I'm good–really." He definitely wasn't, but to be caught alone with his idle thoughts was almost more perilous than what he'd just been in.

A sudden lightheadedness made his vision swim, causing him to stagger for a few steps did little to prove his point.

"See? I told you I'm good."

She groaned but didn't bother wrangling him again and continued with her current charge.

He regained his footing and looked around the crater's floor that he now found himself well within. Most everything and everyone had somewhat calmed down by now. In absence of that hurried panic, a foreboding and persistent unease had taken its place.

Everyone looked unsure. Many wandered around or sat and stared at the building, now more aflame than ever, while a few carried whatever they'd managed to salvage from the compound to the trucks that sat at the far edge of the crater near the road that led back down the mountain.

"Did they manage to save anything?" Adrian turned and asked her. "Anything from the control center?" His desperation could almost be heard.

"A few things." She answered, looking up at him for a moment. "Not like it really matters with all the radars and sensors being little better than slag for scrap now. But by the looks of it, you boys will be heading back down first. They're loading up Thai with the rest of what they got out of there."

Adrian looked back at the trucks, noticing a fair few men dressed in the more rag-tag attire like what he had heading in that direction. A few carried Thai with them on a stretcher.

"Right. Thanks, doc." Adrian began to move that way but stopped when a sudden bout of guilt jaded him and looked back at her with his head slightly tucked. "I appreciate it, really do." He tried to put some emotion in the words but could summon neither anger nor joy. He spoke and walked like the living dead who now desired only one thing as he turned away again.

Shaking her head, she still waved as he went.

"They're all the same in that group." Her attention was pulled back to the person she was working on. "Hey, quit moving! You keep moving, and you'll keep bleeding."

Adrian rounded the back of the line of cargo trucks turned troop transports, and hauled himself into an empty one. It didn't stay that way long. Sticking as far away in the shadows as he could as the rest of the rowdy bunch that filed in. He kept himself leaned against the cabin wall, as if asleep, but could only sit and listen to them as they talked and joked. They didn't much care that such a vital building had burnt down, only that they'd killed a few more of "Weyland's cronies."

They'd mostly paid him no mind, but this was thanks to one of them recognizing him as being the one to have pulled Thai out of the fire. He wished his ruse of sleep could have evolved to be real, but the worries and fears that rose from the ashes only kept him awake and privy to their conversations as they drove back down the mountain. He was lucky whenever they went over an especially rough bump or the others got particularly rowdy. Anything that killed the sound in his mind was welcome.

All of that effort for nothing. Adrian had to bite down on his tongue to stop the pained, manic laughter he felt rise like a madness overtaking. Grief was like a horseshoe. You could only go so far to one side before you found yourself eerily close to the other.

He brought himself back into reign by reminding himself of the fact that they'd recovered something, but if that something wasn't of any use to him, then Lord help them all. Lord help them so they may be spared from the torrent brewing within. So that he may be spared from it himself and find the chance to dry her eyes and ease her mind.

He would smile again, but only when he smiled at her. As for now, something within worked upon his soul in ways he could not understand.