This chapter has several pov's. First Leah, then Aiden, then Sean, then Jonah and then Leah again. I hope it's not too confusing. I just couldn't figure a more perfect version to do this.

I realized I forgot to tell you. But before I put the last chapter up I had already finished one story. "The one where rawr means I love you in dinosaur" And after I put that chapter up I finished "Stranger defended". Just yesterday (written November the third) I finished the second and last chapter of "Fire in my brain makes fire in our hearts" And it will be put up December the first.

I also started a new story. It's called "A candle in a dark corner" and it's for good witch. But with the stories finished and some very close to their endings I do have some more time for this one and the rest of the stories that will be left.

Leah POV

"How does it feel?" Jonah asked me on Wednesday morning, when I came out of bed on Wednesday morning. "One whole sleep after you talked to Jack. Are you regretting anything you said to him?"

"Nope." With a moan I slumped down by the breakfast table and reached for my yoghurt. "I finally got rid of him and I don't regret a word. He was an ass and I should have understood that from the moment we met." Jonah smirked and that just as mum and dad came into the room.

"I never thought I'd hear my daughter calling another person by that name."

"Me neither." In difference from dad, mum did not sound happy and did not chuckle. "And never do I want to hear it again." I couldn't help but roll my eyes at her. "I saw that young lady. You might be sixteen but I am still your mother. And I can still tell you what words I think you should or should not use."

I made sure I was turned away from mum and towards Jonah when I grimaced for her again.

"Edna has an early meeting today." Dad smirked slightly at me and stopped by the table to tell us. "And I'll be going too but we're using both cars. So if you need us for anything- anyway, we're both leaving now so you'll have to take the bus or walk to school today. Is that okay with you both?"

"Yep." Jonah said- for some reason he had been feeling better than usual lately. "And Leah's still in her pyjamas so unless she wants to wear that to school it must be okay for her too." I just glared at him and wished my parents a good day before I went to get my clothes on.

When I came back out of the room Jonah was standing in the living room. I didn't think about it at first, then he showed me to come too and did something on his face.

"I just have an idea of a song to do this week. And I know there's no glee club until tomorrow. But I think I've made something out of it and I just can't wait for someone to hear it. So maybe you can…" He threw a pillow towards the arm support of the arm chair and I sat down. Jonah usually sat down to sing not to lose his breath but this time something made him keep standing as he did something on his phone and then a song I did recognize came on.

"Goodbye to you…"

He started singing to me. I knew this song, and at once- with the first verse being sung to friends I started thinking about what he'd do for the last verse. The singer had written it to his daughter Michelle… but Jonah didn't have a daughter.

But Jonah being Jonah, it was no way he hadn't re- written it.

Goodbye Leah my little sis'
It's gon' be hard but I know you'll get through this
When I'm not with you anywhere
Remember I will always be everywhere
Think of me and I'll be there

Goodbye Leah it's hard to die

I should have understood he was singing it to me and why not? Because the song was already to friends and family when the singer had been ill and thought he was dying.

Jonah continued singing until the end of the song and finished while I had to fight the tears away. I couldn't help but think about that every second the moment where Jonah's heart would give up on him drew closer and closer and closer.

"You look frustrated."

"I am frustrated." I sounded angrier than what I had planned. "I'm sick and tired of everything- my whole life has always been about getting ready for you to die. And now you have a chance to do any song for anyone and you do this of course. Is it… I don't even get what it's for. Is it so you will get as much as attention as possible so…"

I stopped in the middle of my sentence. I wasn't being fair and even while I said it I felt bad for it.

"Sorry Jonah. I don't know where that came from."

"We have to leave now if we don't want to be late for first class."

Jonah didn't answer any of what I had said. But I could see on the look on his face that he was hurt. Then we both heard dad's car coming back up the driveway and he came in.

"I forgot some things. And I can now see you haven't made your way to school yet. So if you come now then I can give you a ride. I'll pass by McKinley anyway." Jonah didn't answer, he just grabbed his bag, nodded at dad and without as much as glancing at me walked outside and into dad's car. "Did you guys have a fight?" I just shrugged. "Because if you did. It's okay. You're siblings and that's what siblings do. Anyway, do you want a ride too?" I shook my head.

"I think I'll walk actually. I just need to get the chance to be on my own for a minute."

"Sounds reasonable." Dad smiled. "The weather is nice. But then I think you'll have to go now not to be late. Have a good day tiger."

And his stupid old nickname!

I felt more like crying than ever when I left the house, didn't waste a glance towards Jonah who sat in dad's car and just walked down the street as if there was nothing else in the whole world.

Aiden POV

"And she's so hot." My little brother Colin kept beaming over his new girlfriend- Caroline's big sister Lacey. "I don't get how you could choose her stupid little sister when she even likes you bro'. Like how stupid are you?"

"Don't… call… her… stupid."

Caroline was bullied- maybe a little bit less now than when we'd gotten together. But I was used to protecting her. Typically against boys but also her sister and other girls. And as soon as someone dared to say anything bad about her I could just feel so much anger roaring up inside of me I couldn't even speak properly.

"Yeah. Whatever. I'm going out now anyway."

Colin grabbed his bag to go out and meet Lacey. We didn't have any glee club on Wednesday so there was nowhere I had to be. Not at school and not private- Caroline was at the dentist's. So in quite boredom I greeted our older brother Eric when he came home and then walked into my room and turned some music on, on YouTube.

I didn't know what made me turn on that song I did. I hadn't heard it for at least ten years, and about then barely understood what it was about. But something made me and when I laid down on my back on my bed and hummed along I did realize that something in me had been with the music enough to turn on a song that was perfect for Colin and I right now in the situation with Lacey and Caroline.

I didn't know Lacey too well. But I knew she had had a crush on me since our freshman year when we had math, English and PE class together. It wasn't exactly hidden. She had taken any chance to get close to me and I was just… I couldn't even describe the way she got close to me because as she tried to get closer and closer I only tried to get further and further away.

Through classmates I had found out that before we were at McKinley, which would say quite little she had had one new boyfriend from day to day. And while she might have changed… I had a feeling she wouldn't. A feeling that only grew stronger when she had tried to trick me into meeting her one afternoon when I thought I was meeting Caroline.

After all, no matter how much I and Colin were fighting. No matter how big of a bully he was and how many times he messed up- badly. He was still my little brother and I was supposed to protect him.

It was hard for me to protect him against the heartbreak I knew Lacey had caused several of the other boys in our year. Why was she even dating Colin all of a sudden? She didn't seem like the girl who would date a younger boy.

The thought suddenly hit me that after tricking me into meeting her and everything. Maybe Lacey was dating Colin in hopes to get closer to me.

Something clenched in my stomach, if so was the case I needed to realize it and find a good excuse to why it was like that. And hopefully I could do that before Colin's heart was broken.

Sean POV

"So this week in glee club is about singing and doing something to a person?" Mama asked me on Wednesday afternoon, the day after Leah's ex- boyfriend had come into the choir room. "Does that person you're singing to actually have to be there?"

"What would you sing?" Gordon sat on the couch in the living room, he and grandpa on the opposite side from me and mama in the other couch. "Who would you sing to?" He kind of smirked. "Would you sing something to dad and make him come back?"

Mama sighed, Gordon had just asked with a child's innocence. He was just five and not old enough to understand what Curtis had done to her or any of us. He wasn't old enough to understand that his dad wasn't coming back to live with us.

"I could sing to him." Mama turned her head from looking to her youngest son and to the piano that stood by a wall. "That piano, Paul? Is it just there for show or can you actually play it?"

"It's just there for show. I can't play a tune. But you can play it all you want."

Mama only smiled back at grandpa, I sat up to support her when she started standing up but she only glared back at me smirking and I leaned back again towards the sofa cushions.

Mama started playing a few keys. I could see Gordon smiling on the other side of the table from me and looking forward to hearing the song she was about to play.

"Come on now mama."

What goes around comes back around…

Well both in her words, and in her strong sounding voice. Mama sure did have some attitude didn't she?

And I couldn't help but enjoy the song as much as possible leaned back in the sofa. I would have liked to get up and just dance. But knowing I was a terrible dancer, and knowing mama and Gordon probably weren't thinking like me in this matter I sat leaned back through the whole song.

I was just so proud when I saw what had happened hadn't broken mama down. But rather made her stronger than ever.

Curtis would have deserved to be here and be shown how much stronger she was. How much stronger we all were without him. There was an attitude in her voice that couldn't be denied and I didn't quite recognize it.

To sing this song, for me felt like some sort of confirming that Curtis was no longer here. What he had done was cruel but at least we were all done with it. And as it looked now, so did mum.

"I don't get it. Does that song mean that you want dad to come back or not?"

The song was in English. He understood the lyrics just as well as I, mama or grandpa did. But where he sat leaned against grandpa. Only five years old. I guess he just wasn't old or mature enough to understand what was going on or what was so bad about what his dad had done.

"It means…" Mum started, her shoulders slumped and even though she sat with her back against me I could see the attitude had gone. "…It means… Hey Gordon. Sean and Paul, I thought you were all going out. Why are you still here?"

In fact I and grandpa had made up so Gordon could come with us while mama went to Curtis's house to pick up the last of our stuff that we hadn't had the chance to get yet.

"I'm not going. Am I? I want to stay here. And I want daddy to come here too so we can play and sing and dance together."

I could just hear the way mum's heart was breaking. She might not need Curtis anymore but Gordon just didn't understand. Then while mum only sat silently I and grandpa quickly exchanged some looks hoping the other one would have something to interrupt Gordon in his wondering about Curtis.

"I thought you were coming with me to do the grocery shopping." Grandpa soon said as if that's what he'd thought all along. "So that you can choose your own candy- I never choose the right kinds that you like and you know that."

"Oh yeah. That's right." Gordon made a jump out of the sofa and ran over to mum, still on the piano chair but she gave him a quick hug. "You were coming too, weren't you Sean?"

"If I don't remember it wrong you were going to the stables and do today's round of taking care of your horse."

"I will." I got up when Gordon and grandpa had left the room, we could hear Gordon chattering about what he thought they should buy at the grocery store. But I leaned closer to mum and mumbled to her too quietly for the others to hear. "I'll just do what I need today. Then I'll come and help you with the thing at Curtis's okay?" Mum nodded, but didn't look at me. I patted her shoulder and walked after my little brother and granddad through the hallway and down the driveway.

"Crap. I forgot some things I had to bring with me." I felt all of my pockets almost at the cars. "And I seem to also have forgotten the key to my car. I just have to go inside again and get them, I know where they are. I'll see you later when I get home. Okay?" I raised my hand in a wave and then ruffled in Gordon's hair before I turned back to the house and hurried back without any particular reason.

Before I opened the door I could hear mama had started playing the piano again. This was a slower melody, and wanting to hear what she was doing I opened the door as quietly as I could and stepped in through the hallway and into the living room where I was right behind her. She still didn't seem me, but I sure saw her.

This was the same kind of song as the first one she'd been doing. But with a slower and sadder tone to it. I couldn't help but notice the shiver in mum's voice as she kept on singing.

How dare that Curtis Leigh hurt my mama like this?

Her voice this time had lost its attitude, and gained something else- something broken. Something filled with tears. And once again for the millionth time I felt anger for that bastard welling up inside of me.

Yet it was so beautiful I had shivers.

"My dear mama." I said as soon as the last note had rung out and she jumped. "Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." I went over and sat down next to her on the piano stool. "That was really beautiful you know." I lifted my hand and stroke away a tear from her cheek. "But I hate that you're hurting so much. But you don't have to hide that from me you know. You are there for me through everything… and I will be here for you no matter what."

Mama sniveled and didn't say anything at first. For several minutes I neither moved nor said anything or did anything except for watching silent tears rolling down mama's cheeks.

"I really loved him you know…" Mama leaned her head to the side and against my shoulder. "Curtis I mean… I really did love him. He wasn't your father you know but I really thought I found the one. … I loved him but I knew how you felt about him…. And that should have been enough… But then not even a year after meeting we had Gordon and then I got pregnant again and he left the room. There should have been so many signs about that he wasn't. But I just kept telling myself there wasn't. And Gordon and the twins are the best things that ever happened to me- next after you… But I just wish I didn't love him so much." She sniveled again and laid a hand towards her round belly. "Still. He gave me so much. More than I could ever explain to you."

I turned a bit to look at the photos that stood on the top of the piano, a whole bunch of different family- photos. Among others one with me and Gordon and one of the sonogram picture of the twins.

"I think I could imagine."

"No…" Mama said stubbornly. "There is no way you would know how much you love your kids until you have kids yourself." I nodded slightly. "Don't protest against that Sean Michael."

Well there was that funny attitude back, even though broken and sad for starters.

"I guess I can't."

Jonah POV

It was Thursday morning that I found myself sitting on the piano in the choir room once again.

I had sure had some time to think about what Leah had said yesterday. Despite her later trying to say that it wasn't true. I had gone through pretty much my whole life, and realized that it was. That I had let Carmichael Syndrome control who I was. And that that was everything I had promised myself and everybody around me that I'd never do.

It was just that, after my eighteen years and a bit. I went into the choir room on a Thursday morning and tried to figure what song I could do for an as fun and important week at this one. Because I couldn't think of a single one.

And maybe that was why, with still a few minutes to go before first class started, I started singing. And sang through the whole song. It was without instruments, it was without an intro, outro or backup singers.

It was without anyone watching. Only myself and my voice…

Or so I thought.

"That was absolutely beautiful." I heard behind me all of a sudden when I slumped after the song. Right inside stood Moa- as beautiful as ever.

I shook my head and shoved those thoughts away. That would only hurt more, when I still knew she didn't like me back. Instead I breathed in and when I quickly tried and think of something I started telling her about the song.

"When the singer made this song… The song wasn't in English at first. It was in French I think. I can never the original singer's name… But Jacks re- wrote it and recorded it sometime during the seventies… the original singer died a few years later of cancer. I know he had been suffering from it for quite a few years but well… I don't know the detailed story. But as you could hear the song is written from the point of view of a man who's dying…"

And I've lived every day of my life believing I was dying.

"It's okay." Moa got up on the piano next to me. "I get it… I think I walked in at the beginning of the song when you started and… it was beautiful."

I gave her a slight smile, then lying my hands on my legs I felt I had a folded up paper sheet in my pocket. I knew what it was when I felt it.

But…. I didn't get why I had brought it with me and not just left it at my bedside table where it usually laid.

This time I had brought it with me anyway. And even though I knew the five points at it by heart I pulled it up and read it carefully.

"What's that?"

"Just a bucket list I made at the beginning of this year… It's only got five things but… Do you want to hear it?" Moa nodded, the only one I had showed this too before was my sister and my parents. So I hesitated for a second and then started reading it. "Number one was to read the fault in our stars and find out what Leah was crying about every time she read it. And I read it and I cried my eyes out." I looked down on the list even though I knew it by heart. "I still haven't watched the movie though. We're planning to do that this weekend. Anyway, number two was to gather a whole lot of toys and stuff and leave it to the children's ward at the hospital. And with the help of Mr. Schue I got to do that. Number three was to talk with the family of a child with a heart condition… I never imagined that baby would be one to have the exact same heart condition as me though. But I did."

I looked down on the list again. And on number four, the first one I hadn't mastered yet.

"What's number four?"

I knew Moa could just as well had looked down herself and read it from the paper. But instead she was looking up at me when I took a deep breath in and read it almost all in one word.

"To kiss a girl…. And now… you're the first one except for me to know what number five is. And that's about Leah. She's a really great writer you know. But she keeps saying she isn't and only lets me read what she's written. So I'm going to save this until… until there's no going back. And then try and make her understand she's a great writer and she needs to let people… to let the whole world see it…."

I folded the paper again and slowly pushed it back into my jeans pocket. I could hear Moa breathe and slightly move next to me. But then what was all she did, although that until I looked at her. And then she leaned over and kissed me, right on the lips.

"Wow." Was the only thing I could say when she leaned back again before I even had the chance to kiss her back. "I guess that's four down then…" I reached to pull the list back up from my pocket. But before it Moa leaned over to kiss me again, for longer this time. And this time I had the time to answer and kiss her back.

And this was…

…This was just magic!

"I'm sorry… I didn't realize."

"Realize what?"

I wouldn't have had to ask. Moa leaned forward and kissed me again soon after breaking away a second time. I answered to it and that couldn't have been nothing else then real.

"When I was dreaming you know… and writing that list." I said once we had broken away and Moa leaned forward to the side and rested the side of her head towards my shoulder. "…I don't think it would ever be as amazing as that. With a person as amazing as you."

I could feel Moa smiling but she still had her head rested against my shoulder so there was no way I could see it. Still, we only sat there still for several minutes and for the moment that was all it took.

Until suddenly Moa frowned and looked to her watch.

"Were you dreaming that that girl and that kiss would also make you late for first class? Damn…" She swore slightly. "I have Miss Frond next. Who do you have?"

"I have Mr. Schuester so I'm safe… you are worse off." I couldn't help but smirk and took my bag. "We have to go now."

"I'll see you later. If Miss Frog haven't killed me by then."

I couldn't help but smirk. This whole school knew what Miss Frog… Miss Frond was like. And actually. That she'd kill a student that was fifteen minutes late didn't feel like an impossibility.

"Yeah… see you later."

Leah POV

Lex wanted to rehearse a song. One that she had thought of doing this week. Like she had said she wanted to she had figured one song to sing to Tyler.

"I don't know why I want you to hear it first." She told me when we were on our way to the auditorium of McKinley during the lunch break. "But I just want to rehearse and show it to someone else because I really want to… Like. I know Tyler is stressed out for the exams and everything he has right now and for the rest of his senior year so… I just want to make sure it's good enough to show him."

"It is good enough. Tyler loves you. And he would still love you if you so sang him the fast food song and said you chose it because he's getting too fat."

Lex snorted with laughter and I smirked. Then for a moment I couldn't help but feel jealous of Lex and Tyler's relationship. As many great boyfriends there were in this world and I met the biggest jerk of them all. I knew somewhat Lex's story though- if anyone, she was worth having the love of her life with her every day. And if meant to be- being with Tyler for the rest of her life.

"Can you hear that?"

At first I couldn't hear what Lex was thinking about and was reminded of when Jonah asked me last Monday if I could hear the sound of the birds singing. When I listened closely this time I could only hear the regular noises of a school- the murmur of people talking everywhere footsteps, cutlery towards each other and the plates in the cafeteria, books and paper sheets turned and someone strumming on a guitar…

Then I heard it.

The sound of sirens.

I was frozen for a bit where I stood, prayed to God it was just going past the school or that it would be a police car or the fire brigade. But as it came closer and closer to where we stood I gathered all of my bravery to turn and look out the window. Just as an ambulance came around the corner just outside. And still frozen I couldn't help but hope with all of me that it was someone playing football who had gotten a bad tackle, or one of the cheerleaders had fallen.

But I guess I knew.

Somehow I knew.

I tried to figure where he would be right now, then I could see Johnny from the glee club come running right up to the paramedics. He was stressed out, pointing and then ran ahead of them, passed me and continued at their fastest pace down the hallway.

And not until I felt Lex putting her hand on my arm I woke up and ran after them myself.

Hoping and praying to God I would be wrong.

"Jonah?"

Playlist
Jonah- Seasons in the sun- Terry Jacks (last verse re- written)
Aiden- Brother oh brother- Måns Zelmerlöw
Eliza- Best thing I never had- Beyoncé
Eliza again- Broken-hearted girl- Beyoncé

If anything about what Jonah says about "seasons in the sun" is wrong I apologize. I have listened to the song (Terry Jacks' English version and Westlife's cover) and my dad- who's into this type of music told me Jacks had written it when he suffered from cancer and thought he was dying. It was when I started making research to write what Jonah was saying that I found this wasn't the story. After all, I think I got it right. It's a great song anyhow. Even though it's almost twice as old as me.

Random fact

I have planned for some of the scenarios in this chapter and the next since I started this story. But lately, once it was finally close enough to decide how it's going to be written. I figured some parts will have to change even though the same as before. For years, Eliza was meant to do her two songs in the choir room at McKinley with the glee club watching and the girls singing back- up. And well… I think you'll have to wait for the rest until after you've read the last chapter.

I love leaving the chapters with cliffhangers.

I also have to say that Sean is one of my favorite characters to write in this.

Anyone who reviews will get a shoutout.