A Wedding, A Confession and a Dilemma.
Along the street, Nick woke up that Sunday morning to discover that the other side of the bed was empty, and that was an immediate red flag for him. On any other occasion when Jeff had woken before him, he had always stayed in the bed beside him, not willing to sacrifice the few extra minutes of snuggle time with the man he loved. Last night he had indeed been very hungry after his time out in the garden; he had devoured the scrambled eggs and toast that Nick had prepared for him for quickness, along with some of the maple cured ham he liked from the market at Union Square. He had kept him away from the cheese though, as Nick knew that if his husband ate it too late in the day, it disturbed his sleep. They had washed up together then headed for bed. Jeff had dozed off pretty swiftly, but Nick had taken much longer to do so, as he was still so worried about the man beside him…
Now he wasn't there, and Nick jumped out of bed, and went on the hunt. He headed upstairs first to the studio, in case his husband had decided to draw; he did it when he was stressed, just as Nick baked… The studio was empty, however, so Nick headed downstairs, checking in every room as he went. As he descended down into the entrance hall, he had visions of finding the front door ajar, but it was closed and the security chain was still in place, something that made him much happier. Jeff could not have left the house, because he could not have put it back on from outside.
The kitchen was the last room he came too, but it was also empty; Nick did not panic at that as he knew instinctively where his husband would be and should have known from the moment he woke up. Sure enough, the doors to the garden were open. He made a pot of tea, and left it to brew as he headed out to join his husband on the garden bench that was even now catching the rays of the morning sun in its place beside Caleb's grave…
"He used to hate being woken up at this time in the morning; he would have slept all day if he could have," said Jeff with a smile. The fact that he was smiling allowed his husband to smile with relief.
"He never was a morning person, a lot like his main human," Nick replied, and his husband blushed.
"I don't object to being up at this time of day if it for a good reason, but if there isn't then I fail to see the point," came his response and Nick had to admit that what he was saying had a ring of truth to it. Thinking about it he realised that if they had a meeting to attend, an important journey to undertake, or the dawn light was needed to undertake one of his works, then his husband would be up and about. He had also never missed getting Wes to school on time by sleeping late. Of course, he usually went for a morning nap afterwards…
Nick took a breath, then asked, "How are you feeling today? If you still aren't feeling all that good, I can call Grace and ask her to take Wes to the wedding and bring him home once it is finished; the two of us can just have a quiet day at home…"
"No, we are expected at the wedding, and we will be there. I know that people would understand if we were absent, but I would think less of myself; in any case, I have been looking forward to this for ages."
"Well, if you are absolutely sure, and this isn't just…"
"It's not an act, Nicky, not like the last week was - a week when I walked around with a smile painted on to avoid upsetting everyone else. There will be a little part of my heart that will always be broken and empty now, but I still have the rest of it to use for everyone around me. I still have you and Wes, and my art will keep my mind occupied and busy…"
"You will always have me; no Nick without Jeff and no Jeff without Nick, remember," said his husband, quoting the inscription inside their wedding rings. Then he kissed him, their lips meeting at once. The kiss lasted a while, before they gently pulled apart. "What if we have pancakes for breakfast this morning as a treat?" Nick whispered to his husband.
"I'd love that, but we had better make sure that Wes doesn't find out we had them, because he would be upset to have missed out on them."
"My lips will be sealed," said Nick. He got up to head inside to make a start on his cooking, wondering if Jeff would stay outside and spend more time with his pet. However, a moment after he headed for the house, his husband followed, leaving behind the sunlit spot with the scent of catnip…
They ended up making the pancakes together, as they had done when they had been living in the loft in Bushwick. They prepared just enough for the two of them, Nick adding a handful of chocolate chips to the batter, which made his husband smile… "I think that we could have pancakes as dessert tonight too," Jeff said as he finished his fourth, "And that way, Wes could have some too…"
"I suppose that is a possibility, as we will be back home later than usual. I was going to make an apple and blackberry pie, but the fruit will keep for another day," replied Nick, then chuckled at the expression on his husband's face at the thought of not having his husband's fruit pie that night. He loved them as much as pancakes, especially when they were served with a generous portion of English custard. "What I mean is that I can get it ready after dinner tonight and then we can have it as a special treat tomorrow night. All you'll have to do is pop it into the oven with the dinner…"
"That is a good plan, because that way Wes gets pancakes and we still get pie," replied a now smiling Jeff as he helped himself to his fifth pancake as Nick finished up his own second one. There was no more batter, but that didn't matter to him; the look of bliss on his husband's face was enough to warm his heart, although he was still concerned about him after all that had happened the day before. He began to clear the table, placing the plates into the same basin of hot water that the skillet and jug they had made the batter in were already soaking. He washed them up and placed them on the drainer; then Jeff appeared at his side. He placed his own plate and cutlery in the basin, then grabbed the tea towel and started to dry the items on the drainer, as a good couple should…
With their chore completed and all the dishes stacked away in the cupboard, Jeff checked the clock and realised how late it was. "We need to make a start on getting ourselves ready for the wedding… Maybe to save a bit of time we should take a shower together?"
Nick grinned, remembering the showers they had used to share back in Bushwick when Mike and Sebastian were both out. Such a move now would not save a single second of time – in fact, it could delay them further. However, Nick was just as much in favour of the idea as his husband…
Nick and Jeff would be among the last people to arrive at the synagogue that day, cutting it so fine that Grace had begun to fear that her brother-in-law had suffered a last-minute crisis, and they were no longer coming. They hastened to the spot where she and Cooper were sitting with Wes. As they came closer, her husband suddenly chuckled and looking at them herself she could see why he was. They both looked decidedly flushed and their hair was still rather wet…
"I am so sorry. We just lost track of time," whispered Nick as he sat down next to his sister. "Jeff was still feeling a bit down after yesterday, so I was comforting him…"
"Is that what we are calling it these days?" she whispered back, secretly loving the fact that those words and the way she had loaded them made her brother turn crimson. She changed tone then and went on, "How is he doing? Thad didn't go into too much detail, but Wes did and said that he was slumped out in the garden…"
"He is much better than he was, but I don't think that he will ever be totally over it; he has admitted that much. Caleb was his baby after all, and now he feels so bereft…"
There was no time for any more conversation, as the two sets of parents now appeared and made their way to the seats reserved for them at the front; they were followed in due course by the two young men who were about to embark on the next phase of their life together, recognised officially as husbands. One thing that they were all aware of was that this event would not change the way that they lived, or one other important thing in their everyday lives. Whilst on paper they would become Dante and Lachlan Harper-Gilbert-Rosenfeld, for everyday purposes they would retain their current surnames, as the merged one was just too much of a mouthful for daily use…
The two grooms had opted for the most traditional ceremony that they could have as same sex partners, which they saw as an olive branch to those older members of Lachlan's extended family would were in attendance but did not approve entirely of his choice of partner. They managed to win them all over when Dante made one of his vows to Lachlan in perfect Hebrew, even if the majority of the guests had no idea what he had just said. They all surmised that it had to have been good by the satisfied faces of a number of elderly great-uncles and great-aunts. Flint gave one of the readings, something that both halves of the couple being married had requested, and he did so without a moment's hesitation or losing his place. Since he had been such a major player in Dante's conversion process, he had started to attend service more often. In addition to that, he had now taken on some minor roles in the day to day running of the synagogue, much to the delight of his mother, although he had no intention whatsoever of going as far as becoming a part-time rabbi, which was what his mother was desperate for.
The moment that Rabbi Hirsch was able to declare that they were now husbands was marked with applause, a most dignified way to mark their union. With the service now over, they moved on to the reception rooms of a nearby boutique hotel. The owner of the establishment was an old school friend of the Mr Rosenfeld, so it had been possible to strike a deal which meant that the reception would not break the bank. Lachlan took great pride in introducing all of his new father-in-law's friends to his elderly relatives, given that he was able to introduce them to a Broadway legend, an award-winning artist, a UN lawyer and an Oval Office speechwriter. The fact that such people were on the guest list was extremely impressive to those older folks…
The food was perfect, and it was as it was being served that a toast was made by Mr Rosenfeld to all absent friends and family, including someone special that they had lost only last week. All those that knew Jeff knew that he was referring to Caleb, and the blond nodded his thanks to the older man when he finished speaking. After the meal, Miss Worthington also came over to see her employee's husband to offer her condolences in person. She then took Nick aside for a moment and told him something in the strictest confidence; Dante had secured the job that he had applied for at the United Nations, laregely down to the reference that the lawyer had provided for him. As Nick smiled, he watched as she made her way over to the newlywed and informed him that he had secured the post, which gave him and Lachlan another reason for celebration that day.
The reception was in full swing when Beats suddenly saw his chance to tell Elliott the truth about his eyesight. All attention was on the two grooms, so it was simple enough to take him to a quiet corner of the reception suite and admit that there was something that he had to tell him… "You have been so caught up with all of the wedding stuff and all the stress that it entailed, so I didn't want to burden you with something that would cause you even more stress and worry. It isn't as if there is anything that you can do about it in any case. It is to do with my eyes…"
"They're getting worse, or should I actually say, they have continued to get worse," his husband replied with a wry smile.
"Wait, are you saying that you knew?" exclaimed a stunned Beats.
"I might have noticed that the lenses in your new glasses seemed thicker than the previous ones, plus I have to admit that I might have taken a look through them when you were in the shower one night…"
"I'm sorry, I should have told you at the time…"
"Yes, you should have, but stuff like that isn't all that important when we consider the bigger picture. What is important is how we deal with it now; we need to deal with it as a couple. From now on I need you to be completely honest with me, because I love you so very much…"
"I will try and be more honest from now on, but the problem is that when I see you stressed with other things, I don't want to add to it."
"Admirable as that is, the problem is that sometimes not telling people things can actually add to the stress they are feeling, because they start to wonder exactly what it is that you are hiding from them!" responded Elliott. Then he took a deep breath and said, "Alright, hit me with everything you know…"
Beats closed his eyes for a moment, took a breath himself, then said quietly, "The last time that I went to see the specialist he told me that the tests showed that my left eye is the one that is deteriorating the quickest, and that it is possible that in a couple of years I will lose all vision in it, which will affect such things as distance perception for me, to the extent that it will not be advisable for me to drive again. Furthermore, once it does reach that point when it is pretty much useless, my other eye will begin to deteriorate just as rapidly as it has to do more work. Gradually my world will become a very dark one…"
Beats finished then and waited for his husband to speak; he did not for a moment as he took in what he had just been told. Then he nodded, and said, "So we need to start preparing for the worst-case scenario. We also need to try and rest your eyes as much and as often as possible to give them more time. We need to identify what causes the most strain on them and try and eliminate it, plus make more time for you to simply close your eyes and rest them."
"All that will help, but it won't prevent it. The specialist said that I should start examining my home and see what we can do to make it a safer place for me once the worst happens; we need to consider moving big obstacles, like furniture in passageways and stuff that juts out. Then we need to make all the switches that we have more convenient for me to find and use. He suggested that I put on a blindfold and try to move around in the apartment, which I suppose would rest my eyes for a while. On the negative side, that idea scares me, because there is so much that could potentially go wrong…"
Elliott nodded, then said firmly, "By the end of the summer we will have our home as safe and navigable as it can be, and to that end I think we need to get a gate to place at the top of the stairs. If you are going to be walking around blindfolded, then we need to stop you stumbling over the top of the stairs and tumbling down them to the floor below. We will also have to look into the criteria surrounding seeing-eye dogs, because I want you to have every possible aid to living as normal as possible a life…"
"Apparently there is a scheme that in return for paying money regularly to the charities involved every month to help pay for the training of those dogs, they will place you on the list to receive one when the time comes," said Beats.
"Then we need to get on that scheme as soon as possible, because it will help you when the worst happens; it will be a comfort to all of us as a family to know that you will be having all the assistance that you could want…"
With their discussion over, Beats and Elliott returned to the main room and rejoined the other guests. As they stepped back into the throng, Beats saw Trent looking straight at him and he knew at once why he was doing so. Excusing himself from his husband for a moment, he headed over to where Trent was sitting, then said quietly, "Turns out he already knew, the same way you did. He wasn't best pleased that I had said nothing to him, but he understands my motivation for keeping quiet. Now that it is out in the open, we are going to work together as a couple on all the things that my diagnosis will mean…"
"Well, if there is anything that I can do to help out in any way, just let me know," replied Trent with a smile. Then he watched as Beats headed away again in the direction of Lachlan's maternal grandmother, whom he had promised a dance to earlier in the day.
"I'm not even going to ask what it was that you found out about Beats and his health that his husband wasn't officially aware of," said Rory, who had heard every single word from his place by his own husband.
Trent chuckled, and said, "He won't mind if I tell you, because he knows that you are as good at keeping secrets as me. I just happened to notice that the lenses in his glasses had changed thickness; that was all it was. I suspected that it meant his eyes had got worse, and as none of us had heard anything about that, I assumed that Elliott didn't know either. I asked him about it and he admitted I was right, saying that Elliott didn't know because he was already stressed out by the wedding, but I think that was just a convenient excuse. Couples should never have secrets from each other, so I advised him to tell his husband as soon as possible and he has just done so. As you can see, there wasn't a big drama…"
Rory looked at his husband for a moment, then shook his head. "How on earth did you manage to notice a difference in the thickness of the lenses in his glasses? I mean, that is something so… you really should consider taking a position with the Secret Service, because they see powers of observation like yours as a valuable talent!"
"A career in the world of espionage is not one for a happily married man with two young children," replied Trent. "I mean, James Bond never even considers marriage; he knows there can't be a Mrs Bond or children. I mean, imagine a scene in a Bond film where he turns round to one of the villains and says, 'I would love to stay and fight you to the death with some of Q's marvellous gadgets, but I have to take little Jimmy to his cub scout meeting this evening and I am already running late…' It would ruin the entire film!"
Rory burst out laughing then, as the whole scenario was implausible as Trent had said. The fact remained though that in his honest opinion, his husband could have been one of the best secret agents the intelligence services of the nation could ever have employed…
Nobody was all that surprised that it was the Sterling-Duvals that were the first to take their leave that day. Nick stated it was because he had an early meeting the next day, but nobody bought it; none of them knew precisely what had happened after the funeral, apart from Mike, Thad and Grace, but they all had their suspicions that in private, all of Jeff's emotions would have burst out of him… The fact that Wes had arrived with his aunt and uncle, and that he had an overnight bag with him had added to the suspicions of many that something dramatic had occurred in the West Village the previous night… For once, even Trent was unaware of the whole story, but he also had no desire to find out what that story was; some things in life were meant to stay private and this was one of them…
Mike and Tina would join them, citing the fact that they needed to get back to relieve their sitter, but everyone had noticed that there was a certain amount of sadness about Mike that day too. The newlyweds thanked them all for coming, and then they headed out. As soon as Mike and Tina left, Dante turned to Lachlan, who had been sniffing the air as much as he had been, and both said at once, "Catnip!" They then promptly dissolved into a fit of giggles…
The little group of five walked back together along 14th Street; Nick distracted Jeff and Mike as they walked past a pet supplies store, as he had noticed as he and his husband had been hurrying along in the opposite direction to get to the synagogue that it had a sale on cat needs and the poster advertising it had a large image of a tortoiseshell cat on it. They would stop only once during their journey home and that was at the local drugstore; Wes desired to examine the racks of candy as he had allowance money to spend, and he had not been able to do so the previous day. His choices made, he joined Mike and his papa in the queue for the register. The former was purchasing a large bag of Atomic Fireballs, whilst his father was buying a similarly sized pack of Red Vines…
Nick and Tina watched them with a smile, both wondering if their spouses would ever truly grow up. The latter took advantage of being alone with Nick to ask after Jeff, then admitted that Mike had been crying on and off all the previous night too. "He seems to be better now, but I will only be able to breathe properly when he stops carrying that chewed cat toy with him all the time. I am positive that everyone at the wedding was wondering where the scent of catnip was coming from; I hope that they didn't all think it was coming from Jeff…"
Back home, Nick soon discovered that neither his husband or his son was that hungry; however, not long after they both managed to eat the chicken salad sandwiches he made for them on honey wheat bread, and when he offered to make pancakes, their appetites remarkably recovered. He made blueberry ones for his son and chocolate chip for his husband, but did not have any himself, preferring a slice of fruit cake from the tin. One thing he did notice was that when he asked them to set the table, they did it totally differently from normal. As a result, Jeff now sat with his back to the radiator in the seat that had always been Nick's before; as he continued to sit on the same side of his papa, Wes also swapped sides. That meant that neither of them now saw the place where there had once been a cat bed and dishes, so Nick assumed that the change was probably going to be a permanent one. He said nothing and accepted his new spot without a word.
As he watched his family eat their pancakes, Nick realised something that generations of humans had over the years, namely that a death left the emotions of those that remained behind raw, especially when the loss was of someone that was much loved. He knew that had been the case when Wes had been killed so tragically; how all of his flock had screamed as their souls felt his loss before they even were told. All he could hope was that it would be a long time before they had to endure that level of grief again…
It would be August before the memorial stone for Caleb's grave was ready; a substantial piece of marble, carved with his name and dates, and some words that summed him up in Jeff's opinion – A Friend To All. This time he had decided that there would be no great ceremony to mark the moment that the stone was set in place; indeed, he did not even tell his husband when it was being delivered. The stone had been carved by one of his former classmates at art school, a man that had developed quite a reputation for his sculpture. He had been approached by Jeff on the same day that he had asked Cameron to make the casket, his heart filled with grief; he had called him as he thought he might know someone that was a monumental mason and prepared gravestones for a living. However, hearing how upset Jeff was during the call, he had offered to make the stone himself, and would do so for the cost of the materials, a tribute to how loved Jeff was by all that knew him…
The only other person present in the garden of the West Village house as the stone was set in place was Mike, and that was only by chance. He had been on his way home from the drugstore when the stone had arrived; on seeing it, he had run home, deposited the shopping and then hastened back to be there as it was set in situ. It was elegant and refined, as befitted a much-loved pet; it was not cheap and tawdry like some of the gravestones that you now saw in the like of Hartsdale and its ilk. Jeff had looked through images of those pet cemeteries and saw stones with holographic images of the animal buried below it on them. He found the whole idea quite traumatising and could not help but think that in the brightest of moonlight, they would glow like something out of a Stephen King novel…
Once Jeff's friend had departed with their thanks, the two witnesses sat down together on the garden bench and regarded the stone. The lawn before it looked as even as it had always done, and the catnip plants were growing well, scenting the air from their position on either flank of the new marker. "You have done him proud," said Mike eventually. "He will rest easy there, close to the family that he loved."
Jeff nodded, then said, "I still hope that there is a feline heaven, but whenever I ask our angelic brethren about it, they are decidedly cagey on the topic to say the least… I wish that he was allowed to be in our heaven, so that he could be there to greet us when we die…"
Mike pondered that idea and decided that he liked it; however, as Jeff said, it wasn't a possibility as far as he was aware. What was worse was that unlike his friend, he did not hold out much hope for there being a feline heaven, but he knew better than to express that opinion to his blond friend…
Mike did not stay long and as soon as he left, Jeff headed indoors himself to make a start on that evening's dinner; Nick had prepared a mix of chicken and ham in a white sauce, and he had the task of making the pastry to turn it into a pie. On a whim, he decided that he would not make a pastry lid, but instead would top the pie with scalloped potatoes. He had done it once before on one of Nick's casseroles instead of boiling the vegetable, and he was sure that the success of that would be repeated on the pie. If nothing else, it would add a slightly different dimension to their meal.
Wes arrived home as he was laying the potatoes on top of the now filled pie, having been brought home from the final day of his summer club by Ethan. He had been only too pleased to collect Wes and Evie, as it was on his route home from the new premises of Mackenzie Inc, where he had spent the day. Having now read all of the transfer documents that his mother had sent him, he had decided to familiarise himself with his new office, ready for the day next month when he would sign the official documents alongside his parents, witnessed by the company lawyers and the members of the advisory board that worked below his parents in the firm's structure.
As well as that, he had found time to do his Mackenzie Trust work whilst he was there and had scanned through the latest submission for funding that had been received. He had found one from a prison in England, asking for assistance towards the equipment required for a program that would rehabilitate long-term inmates; the Trust had a long-standing belief that such projects were worthwhile, so he was about to place it in the pile for further consideration by the board when the name of the prison suddenly caught his eye. It seemed familiar somehow and he wondered at first if they had applied previously…
Then it hit him; it was the women's prison that Lucy was incarcerated in. For the first time since he had taken on the role in the Mackenzie Trust, Ethan found himself faced with a moral dilemma. The work that the prison wished to do was excellent and worthy of receiving full funding, as it fulfilled every ethos that the Trust espoused. However, he was damned if any of his family's money was going to do anything to assist the woman that had ruined the life of his best friend…
He had sat for some time in contemplation, and then had placed the letter in the pile for further consideration, as he had initially intended; he could not deny the other female inmates the chance to turn their lives around because of the actions of one of their fellow prisoners. Nor could he add a caveat to their assistance, namely that approval would only be forthcoming if not one cent of the money was spent on that woman. No, he would present the letter to the board and then abstain from the vote, citing personal issues; if need be, he would explain his reasons once they had voted so as not to unduly influence them beforehand. He was pretty sure that the board of trustees would vote for it unanimously in any case, so there would be no need for his casting vote.
He also knew that he had to tell Drew about it, because the organisations that the Trust helped were named in their monthly newsletter and his best friend always read that. He had started to do so when Evie had been named as the heir apparent to the business and hence the Trust, so that he had some idea of the workings before his daughter had to take control. Ethan knew that it could potentially be a tricky conversation, but he did not expect Drew to disagree with his stance on submitting the application to the board; to deny aid to all on the grounds that one person might benefit from it would not fit into his moral code either.
Of course, there was always the hope that the specific wing of the prison that Lucy was housed in would not have any involvement with the program in any case, as it was to rehabilitate people and Lucy had been given a life sentence… He decided that it might be a good idea to get the firm's London based investigator involved again, just to see if they could find out what was what. Failing that, he could write a private letter to those in charge of the prison and ask if they could confirm if Lucy would be offered the chance to take part in it all…
