Monday, 4th July 2022

Jamie walked to his door, bouncing to keep his muscles loose after their training session. He unlocked the door and then turned to say goodbye to Roy but the older man was standing close to his back.

"What?" Jamie asked.

Roy nodded at the house with a confused frown. "I'm cooking you dinner."

"You," Jamie froze, he didn't think that Roy would want to have anything to do with him outside of training now that…because of what happened and the fact that Roy obviously didn't want it to happen again. "You want to cook me dinner?"

Roy rolled his eyes and nudged Jamie's hand towards the door. "I cook us dinner all the time, hurry up."

Jamie turned around and opened the door, letting Roy in and then locking the door behind him.

"I'm having the first shower though," Roy told him, striding off through the house as soon as his shoes were off.

Jamie nodded at his back dumbly.

Jamie fucked about in the kitchen tidying up the dishes from lunch and wiping down all of the benches to make sure they were food safe to keep himself from thinking about what the fuck Roy was thinking. Were they just going to forget that Jamie now knew what Roy's cock felt like in his throat, or that Roy had whispered growling, sweet words into Jamie's ear as he coaxed him into an orgasm. They were just going to pretend that Jamie hadn't actually fucking gaped, mouth open and stupid looking, at just how much of a grower Roy's cock was, or the way Roy had opened Jamie up, constantly checked in, or that they'd had a conversation over which one of them was going to get fucked that night. Jamie had been thinking about those words from Roy since. At the time, he'd thought it meant that Roy wanted more. Afterwards, he'd wondered if Roy had regretted everything when he was sober and awake. Now, he didn't know what the fuck those words had meant but they were fucking haunting him.

He went into the lounge room and folded the blanket Keeley had given him when they were dating. He rearranged the cushions on his couch from where he'd been curled up watching TV…or ignoring the TV to think about Roy until he'd gotten so horny he'd had to take a hand to himself with the ghost feel of chest hair and beard on his skin filling his thoughts.

"Your turn," Roy said from the doorway. "Which pasta do you want?"

Jamie looked up, Roy's hair was still a little damp and Jamie wished he could have been there when it was getting wet.

"Jamie?"

"The one with pumpkin?"

"You got all the shit?"

Jamie nodded. "Had me food delivered on Friday like normal."

Roy made a pleased groan. "And you thought I wasn't going to make you dinner?"

Jamie shrugged.

"Go shower before you get too cold."

Jamie nodded and headed for his bedroom and the shower.

Jamie came down in the clothes his mother had always called soothing, and went into the kitchen to help Roy with the last of the cooking. He picked up the knife Roy had left behind and started cutting the broccolini and watched Roy slide the pumpkin into his air fryer on the tray. Jamie smirked; Roy had told him he wasn't going near the fucking air fryer until Jamie had shown him how good it was for making the roasted pumpkin to go into this pasta. Jamie cut the cherry tomatoes for the second tray, handing Roy the bowl with the cut up broccolini. Jamie heard the click of his stove top followed by the woosh of it catching light and Jamie felt comforted by the familiar rhythm.

"They're putting the new walls in this week," Roy said.

"Are you going to take Phoebe back so she can see?" Jamie asked.

The space between them felt bigger than normal.

"Yes, spoke to Nigel about it and he's going to make sure it's safe for her on Friday afternoon. Do you want to come?"

"I don't have to."

"She'd like it," Roy told him.

"What about you?" Jamie asked. "I know you didn't like me overstepping."

Roy turned around and nudged Jamie's shoulder. "When did you overstep?"

"You don't want to paint the walls in the kitchen green."

"I don't want to put off potential renters."

"By having some colour?"

"I don't know how to…fuck it all, Jamie, I'm no good with colours, look at my wardrobe."

"Is that why you wear black?"

"Fuck no, but I don't know all that shit that you and Keeley and other people know how to do where you make colours work and shit."

"That's why you want to make the house bland?"

"Not fucking bland; fucking classic."

"Classic sure, white walls do work for lots of fucking people, but that house deserves a personality."

"I don't fucking know how to do that."

"I do," Jamie said, he'd thought about it – he knew that house could be homey and beautiful and it should be loved as much a Linda had loved it.

"It still needs to be something lots of people would like and you're…you wear some weird shit."

Jamie laughed. "You're a fucking numpty."

"I am not, you little prick."

"I know what I wear isn't for everyone, but I also know how to do the fucking middle ground. Why don't you just ask for help?"

"I get final say."

"Of-fucking-course you do," Jamie rolled his eyes; Roy always had the final say.

"The kitchen design was really good."

"I'm starting to think it might be time for me to buy a place and make a home…always thought I'd do it when I met the person I wanted to marry, ya know?"

"You want to get married?" Roy asked, turning his back and stirring the food in the wok.

"Yeah, course."

"Really?" Roy turned back around, not quite looking at Jamie…the distance between them wide again.

"I want what Mummy and Simon have."

"And you haven't met her yet?"

Jamie rolled his eyes. "Met them, I'm pansexual, Roy."

Roy nodded. "Yeah, yeah, of course."

Roy returned to the stove and Jamie sighed.

"You never asked me," Jamie said after a few minutes of staring at the firm lines of Roy's back.

"Will you help with the interior design…please?"

"Yes," Jamie told him with a smile.

After dinner, Roy kissed Jamie next to the dishwasher and they ended up fucking with Jamie bent over the kitchen island. Roy left with a line of soft kisses along Jamie's left collar bone and a reminder to get some sleep before their workout in the morning. Jamie showered, stretching out his thigh muscles, deciding to accept that if this was all he was going to get with Roy then at least he had this. Jamie could do this; he was familiar with people only wanting his body. At least this time, Roy also liked him as a friend.

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