Wednesday, 30th November 2022 - PM

Jamie closed the dishwasher and then turned to face Roy.

"Do you have a teacup?"

Roy shook his head. No, but I'd love a cuppa."

Jamie sighed, turned the dishwasher on, and then turned the kettle on.

"How are you feeling about the Man City match?" Roy asked. "Do you think your dad will want a ticket."

Jamie shrugged, sitting next to Roy and glancing at the screen. "Maybe, also – that Bob kid is definitely someone we should watch."

Roy looked at the scouting report on his screen. "Yeah?"

"I think he's going to be a player like you," Jamie told him. "Just needs someone to chase him around the pitch on a bike."

"I could do that," Roy said, making a note against Robert Edrick. "Anyone else you like the look of?"

Jamie pulled Roy's laptop towards him and read through the scouting report. "No, Beard is wrong about this guy, none of the rest of them are worth your time."

"Okay," Roy grumbled, shutting the laptop. "I'm not telling Beard you called him wrong."

Jamie leaned over and kissed Roy. "Good."

"Are you trying to distract me?" Roy asked, yanking Jamie closer so he could kiss him properly.

"Why would I want to distract you?"

Roy rolled his eyes. "Get that arse upstairs."

Jamie smiled and jumped up, heading for the stairs. He knew Roy would check the doors and turn the lights off before he headed up to the bedroom. Jamie took that time to strip and lie on the bed. He knew the game against City would be hard and they ran a close chance of being kicked out of the FA Cup at their first match, but it wasn't worth worrying about it when they could just fuck.

Roy pulled Jamie into him, hands soft on Jamie's warm skin.

"You know, you don't always need to distract me with sex."

Jamie laughed. "But…we have really good sex."

Roy huffed out and breath and rubbed his beard across Jamie's skin. "I know."

"Mindblowing, really."

Roy poked Jamie's ear. "I'll have to try harder, your brain's still in there."

Jamie laughed and stretched. "I ain't worried about playing City in the FA Cup game. We're going to fucking win because this team is amazing, and you have me and some grandad made me the best fucking player on the team."

"Premier League Player of the Month two months running," Roy reminded Jamie.

"That too."

"Led the League in assists."

"I'm so fucking amazing!"

"Such a prick that United fucking had four pricks on you trying to keep you down."

"Still scored a fucking header goal," Jamie preened.

"I thought the guys on you were going to break your fucking leg after that goal."

Jamie nodded. "Me too." Jamie paused for a beat and turned to look up at Roy. "What would you have done?"

"Avenge you at 4am."

Jamie frowned. "I don't wanna know, do I?"

Roy shrugged.

They grew silent, the air around them comfortable as they pulled the thick blanket over their bodies. Roy was almost asleep when Jamie spoke again.

"What's the deal with you and Rebecca and the salute thing?"

Roy startled and huffed out a breath. "This is not something you can tell anyone else."

"Okay."

"Rebecca and I had a dirty weekend just after she divorced Rupert."

Jamie sat up and looked down at Roy with shock. "What?"

Roy sighed.

"How…that's a woman I wouldn't mind having a crack at."

Roy growled.

"Joke, sorta, she's fucking fit."

"I know," Roy growled out. "She and I had met a heap of times at football events…Chelsea trotted me out and she came with Rupert. She and I got along pretty well. Rupert was, and still fucking is, a twat of the highest order but when I decided to leave Chelsea I made a decision to come to Richmond so I could still see her – we used to have lunch once a week."

"What? My fucking mind is blown."

"And my cock wasn't involved."

"Yes, it was, just not near me…tell me more, tell me more, did you get very far?"

"You are taking way more pleasure in this than you should."

"Nope, just the right amount."

Roy rolled his eyes and let out a huff of breath. "I appreciate you not immediately asking how the sex was."

"I would assume fucking amazing," Jamie said. "And if not, don't ruin it for me."

"She found out about Rupert and was staying at The Peninsula so I went up to see her. We spent a bit of time together over those couple of weeks when it was all falling to shit. I'd done up her house a year or so before and it was vacant, so I took her to look at it and she liked it and bought it from me."

"You got her that house?"

"Let her stay for free until they sorted out their settlement and she could afford it, but I got the team to do a few things to make it more hers." Roy said, looking far away for a moment. "She wanted to get out of London just after the divorce was finalised, so we went and stayed on my mate's yacht in Mallorca."

"And it turned into a sex yacht?"

Roy rolled his eyes. "Yes, we had sex…a lot, is that what you wanted to hear?"

"Yes," Jamie bounced on the bed.

"Are you going to be like this every time you find out about someone famous I've had sex with?"

"No," Jamie scoffed.

"She needed someone to be there for her who wasn't fucking going to run to the papers but also someone who would look good if it came out and I was happy to be that for her because she's a fucking gorgeous woman and the sex was excellent. It wasn't ever going to be something else, and we both knew it."

"Mature."

"Afterwards something changed and she barely spoke to me anymore…part of her decision to run Richmond into the ground I assume now."

"What?" Jamie asked, tilting his head.

"Her whole, drive Richmond into the ground to fuck with Rupert mission."

Jamie continued to look unsure.

"That's why she hired Ted, wanted him to fail, the team to get regulated, she hired a pap to get photos of Ted and Keeley to make you nuts, sent you back to City to fuck the team over when it looked like you and Dani could actually win us some games…the team never told you about this?"

"The team knows?"

Roy growled. "I don't know, I assumed so; I know so figured they did too."

"Ted wasn't playing mind games?"

"No."

"Fuck," Jamie said. "Always seemed a bit weird."

"When I walked Keeley home after karaoke in Liverpool," Roy said gruffly. "I pulled out the salute again…it'd been ages since I'd done it, she returned it. That was when I knew she was coming back to herself again."

"You know this means you and Sam have had sex with the same woman."

"Fuck off."

"He ain't said nothin' and she wouldn't say nothin' but I'm pretty sure they had a thing before her dad died…he got really sad after and wouldn't tell anyone about the Bantr lady he had an Isaac haircut for but he was definitely shaggin' someone."

"And you think it was Rebecca?"

"Saw him getting out of her car early one morning around the corner from the club."

Roy laughed. "Fuck!"

"Give it a minute," Jamie told him. "Really take a second to imagine that…"

Roy leaned back against the pillows and held out a hand to Jamie who crawled back over to him.

"Did you really sleep with Craig David?" Jamie asked a few minutes later.

Roy rolled his eyes and bodily turned over until Jamie came with him and wrapped his arms around the older man.

Jamie laughed. "That weren't an answer, Kent."

"Yes."

Jamie tapped Roy's peck twice and then laughed. "Knew it."

"Ruth has a fucking scrapbook."

Jamie laughed, burying his head between Roy's shoulder blades and making the whole bed shake. Roy sighed and waited him out.

"She keeps a scrapbook of people you've fucked?" Jamie voice was muffled be Roy's skin.

"Fuck, no, it's a scrapbook of people I've been papped with who I have slept with but people didn't assume."

"Did you really sleep with Ronaldo's mum?" Jamie asked.

"That fucking rumour."

"Not true?"

"True, but it's not the reason that he hates me."

"Why does he hate you?"

"He made a pass and I weren't interested…I had already slept with his mum."

"Holy shit," Jamie held him closer. "Who else's family member have you exposed to that bend in your cock?"

"There is no bend in my cock."

"I know but when you do that snap I forget sometimes."

"You picked it up fucking fast," Roy said, reaching back and palming Jamie's arse.

"You up for round two, grandad."

"Not if you call me fucking grandad."

"Okay…have you slept with a family member of anyone at Richmond?"

Roy froze.

"Oh my god," Jamie yanked Roy around and scrambled up onto his lap, straddling him so he could stare down at Roy. "Who?"

"I'm sleeping with you," Roy said, rolling his hips and then making a face.

Jamie lifted, "your knee?"

"Just sore," Roy said.

"You should go back to the doctor."

"Richard's brother," Roy growled out to change the subject.

Jamie went still and stared down at Roy. "That's so fucking hot, he is so fucking hot…he could be a model."

Roy nodded.

"I'm not letting the knee go."

Roy reached out for Jamie's cock. "I'm not letting your cock go."

Jamie rolled his eyes. "Before I let you have my cock…Jean the goat farmer, Ronaldo's hot mum, your kebab guy."

Roy froze. "How did you know about that?"

Jamie threw his head back and laughed.

"What about you? Did you sleep with Danthony?"

"Yeah," Jamie said. "But they didn't put it on TV because it was gay…wankers."

"Fuck!" Roy grunted. "I owe Janice a hundred quid."

"Only a hundred quid?"

"They don't know I'm Roy Kent. I only made a bet that high because I didn't think either of us would be able to verify. If I was wrong, I never would have let her pay me."

"You don't think you letting me join in when they come here," Jamie asked, "might have been a little bit of a clue?"

"They just think I got lucky and met the fucking fit footballer from the TV and have fucked him into being involved in yoga."

Jamie laughed.

"Did you really sleep with Higgins vicar son?" Roy asked.

Jamie gaped at him. "How did you find out about that?"

"Lindsay told Higgins, Higgins told the Diamond Dogs."

Jamie laughed. "When I was a nipper, yeah, me mates and I had this list of people who it would be cool to sleep with."

Roy blew out a breath and rolled his eyes. "Yeah…"

"Lindsay is a really fucking cool dude, yeah?" Roy nodded. "When we met at that team thing, we flirted a bit but I didn't know he were a vicar."

"And?"

"He ended up bein' the final guy on the guy side of that list," Jamie said, preening a little. "Made me mates super fuckin' jealous. I did both the guy, girl, and non-binary versions of the list."

Roy sighed and rested back against the pillows. "You are such a prick…I bet you made a fucking scrapbook."

Jamie laughed. "Not with photos or nothin'."

Roy groaned.

"And I wanna see your sister's scrapbook. I'm callin' her tomorrow."

"Fuck no."

"I will and you can't stop me."

"I can," Roy said, letting go of Jamie's cock and reached down to flick his testicle.

Jamie moaned. "Fuck."

"If you promise not to contact my sister, I'll do that thing to your balls you like so much."

Jamie hmmed.

"You have thirty seconds to decide."

"Do the thing to my balls," Jamie said, leaning back and giving Roy all the access to his sack that the other man could want.

"Good fucking choice," Roy growled, reaching into the bedside table for his container of textas.

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