She knew what she'd done. It hadn't become obvious to her right away and at the time she thought it wouldn't come back to bite her, but the stretch marks didn't lie. Now she lived with shame and guilt because despite it taking two to tango, she didn't help his relationship…with Terra. The constant fighting between those two was evidence enough that they just weren't working out. They would both apologize and make up later but the next day or two they would go at it again. And for weeks Beast Boy had promised her he would break up with Terra. It wasn't a decision she supported or discouraged because she wanted him to make the choice for himself, without any external influences.
But the night of Robin's 21st birthday, most people had had a little too much to drink. Even she had been caught up in the celebration and ended up just slightly buzzed. Beast Boy had wound up possibly a little more so than she but to credit Terra, Terra was the one who made sure he didn't drink too much. The boy was known to enjoy wild parties and Terra made sure he stayed safe at them. She had some good qualities—perhaps that was why Beast Boy didn't have the backbone to break up with her.
Either way, even being a tad hazy wasn't enough to convince him. It was, however, enough to convince him it was okay to sleep with the only single Titan left on the team, as long as his girlfriend didn't know about it. And Raven was no better, somewhat thinking the same thing. It actually wasn't a one-night stand like it should've been. She did have deep feelings for Beast Boy and made excuses for herself, telling herself things like physical intimacy would be good but they would only test the waters. She'd focused too much on that to consider he might've only been sleeping with her to relieve the stress of his battles with Terra, though to be fair there was no actual proof of this. More importantly, she hadn't considered birth control for two reasons—one, the nervous feeling of simply being with him this way was almost overwhelming; two, she wouldn't keep doing this forever. Just a couple times to be certain and then never again unless they got together. It was supposed to be a little test and nothing more. But…after some discomfort and the final realization of how late her period had become slapped her in the face, that "nothing more" had turned into five plus signs, one after another.
Did he want children? No. Earlier on in his relationship she'd overheard him and Terra talking about a future together, and children came into the picture. He didn't want any for a long time to come. Something about him not ready to settle down just yet and take on that big a responsibility. Normally she'd force him to take accountability for his actions but this was different. He had to be ready for this kind of responsibility. And if he wasn't, well… She knew what life with an irresponsible father was like. Granted, her father's only intent was to use her for his own self-gain, but he didn't go out partying. He didn't think of her as a burden, strange as that sounded, but as a huge asset. Up until the end he also placed enormous value on her, even if it was for the wrong reason. It was hard knowing her father didn't love her, and there was no way she wanted that feeling for her baby. After she'd gotten over the shock of those pregnancy tests, all she really wanted now was to provide her baby with a life she never had.
Which brought her to the current point of deciding whether or not an ambulance was necessary. Right now it wasn't about Beast Boy or Terra. It wasn't about what the Titans would think. It was about squeezing a tiny person out of her body after ten months of carrying them around everywhere. If not for the understanding that Beast Boy was not a typical human, she would've agreed to induce. But for all she knew, the baby needed more time to fully develop and that had been her foundation for the decision to wait.
She had never felt the muscles in her stomach contract and push so hard before, and she'd never felt control of her body so far out of her reach. She wanted the contractions to pause for a while. She had tried to prepare herself for this moment but she wasn't ready yet. It was too soon. She didn't have anyone around if something went wrong. She didn't know how to detect something going wrong.
She had purposefully moved to an entirely different city before she began to show. Before Beast Boy could find out. Before Terra could murder him for what he'd done. She hadn't seen her friends in ages. She'd missed them but now she really missed them. She wanted their support but, when she moved, she knew she would forfeit it.
So she forfeited their support, and moved. It wasn't an incredibly far location, just a few hours away, but enough distance to ensure they wouldn't be paying visits. Even though the note she'd left explained that she would be leaving for "personal matters" it would've been out of character for them not to look for her anyway. So she'd gone to great lengths to stay under the radar, despite how many miles she'd put between them. No superhero work, even though she'd personally witnessed minor crimes and elected to ignore them, no powers, and no attention. She wanted to get regular checkups and she wanted to contact her friends to let them know she was at least okay, but she instead tried to blend into society. She stayed in the background, didn't interact, even looked for mundane jobs in which nobody would remember her name or face. Pregnancy made physical jobs incredibly hard so those were out. At one point she considered a nighttime security guard. She could easily handle that but hiring managers weren't going to think twice about a small-framed pregnant woman. If anything the idea was laughable.
She was able to settle on translation work instead. Although the only globally popular language she knew was English, she could translate German and Romanian. Sometimes she would even help archivists translate other languages such as Latin or Sanskrit for museums. She wished she was self-employed but worked for a company called Barrier Breaker that had her do a little bit of everything, just a connection to whoever needed whatever translated. Like a publisher but she would publish all variations of literature, regardless of type or genre.
She was particularly helpful with historical documents and artifacts, given her fluency in ancient languages, and due to her uniqueness in that area she was able to negotiate a reasonably high pay rate. It wasn't the best but it was an easy job—easy for her, anyway—that would provide comfortably for the soon-to-be two of them.
She already had a residence secured, the nursery was set up, and she had a good job. Her primary concern now was navigating parenthood without support. She could've reached out at any time and still could, even now, even in labor. But. She didn't. Even her communicator had been permanently turned off. If any of the others knew, Beast Boy would find out and this news would more than likely spread to Terra. Nobody needed that drama. Maybe when the kid was older she could introduce him or her to the team. Her team was her family. Leaving them stung. But she also just wanted to live a peaceful life with minimal violence while she raised her kid. The superhero work could wait.
Besides, Beast Boy didn't want a child yet. She could very well have made a mistake by deciding to abandon Jump City entirely, and everyone in it, but for now this was the best choice she could make, or at least think of. Hopefully it would remain as such in the future.
But right now, her choice was that an ambulance was not necessary and neither was a home birth. The longer this dragged out, the more pain she was in and the less she cared about hiding her powers. She could feel it. This baby was coming.
She couldn't will her body to slow down either.
She stretched out her hand and opened a portal, waddling through to be immediately greeted with blindingly bright fluorescent lights and the smell of sanitizer.
She paid no mind to the shocked expressions of other expectant mothers, all of them due to sweat and groan as much as she was within just a few more hours.
"Please help," she panted, her black portal closing behind her. "It's coming right now."
It felt like seconds and hours at the same time. A wheelchair, nurses, a rush to a hospital room, doctor, another ridiculously painful contraction, hospital gown, hospital bed, staff suddenly realizing she was right, doctors at the end of the bed commanding her to push as though she had any control over that. And breathing. It constantly felt like she was holding her breath with each hard push to get this thing out of her and end all the fuss and agony now that it was too late for an epidural.
She had convinced herself she was ready. She had convinced herself she could do this.
Now she was convincing herself she was so stupid for thinking that way. She couldn't do this. It was too painful. It was too hard.
She could feel the strain and fought the urge to reposition herself. She could feel multiple locks of hair begin sticking together around her face, collecting sweat as it all just kept getting worse. The pain, the contractions, the fear.
If she couldn't even handle this part of motherhood, how was she supposed to fare against the other challenges? The ones that didn't require her to lay down and push a kid out? The idea of bringing new life into the world with no experience dealing with any of it had never been more terrifying than it was now.
Moments before Raven heard the single most encouraging sound from anywhere else in this entire hospital...or even city. The baby wasn't out yet and she didn't know how much of it was out, but she was getting there slowly, and heard a voice she immediately recognized, but one she'd never heard before.
The shrill, sputtering first cry of her newborn.
Filled with a determination she'd never had before, she gave it another go. The next few pushes were undoubtedly the hardest ones she'd experienced so far. But this time she could do it.
One final whine through clenched teeth and the doctor and nurses began scattering to get things done. The pressure had released itself. It was over. She would probably be sore for a while but...she'd done it.
After a few minutes of flitting about the room, at long last a nurse carefully transferred a small, pink bundle to her. A little girl. She had a daughter. At first that just wasn't something she was capable of processing. How did she do this? She could only stare in awe at this tiny thing in her arms. This tiny thing she made and carried. This tiny thing she'd never seen before now, not even on a monitor.
"Dahlia," she breathed.
A/N
I have a vague idea of where this is going so I guess we're all in for a surprise! Also, I was looking for jobs dealing with literature when I stumbled across a translating position, and thought that translating historical records would be perfect for Raven since she knows three dead or extinct languages. Not in high demand but I'm sure archivists and museums would love it, plus interaction with other people is kept at a minimum so also perfect for Raven's introverted personality.
