"Um, are you okay?"
Hazel didn't open her eyes, she tried to stay in the moment.
"Yes, and you're bothering me."
"Oh."
She tried to reign her mind back in to where it was before, but it was wandering. Was the boy still there, staring at her? Did he think she was strange? He probably thought she was crazy.
Hazel huffed and sat up, glaring at her classmate. Her soaked robes were chilled and her hair matted wetly to her cheeks.
"I hope you're happy. You've gone and ruined a perfectly good experiment." She had to practically yell to be heard over the pounding of the rain on the lake nearby. She tucked her wand in the waistband of her skirt and rose clumsily to her feet. The boy just stood there, slouching a bit, and rubbing the back of his head. They were under the abysmal shelter of a small tree that, given the season, had lost all of its leaves.
"You can catch a cold doing stuff like that." He said, his voice deep and lazy. He followed Hazel as she started her wet pilgrimage back to the castle.
"A cold is a very small price to pay for discovery! I really was on to something, and who knows when I'll have a good storm like this again? I was so close!"
"If you say so."
His passive tone bothered her, irritated her even. She whirled around and faced him with crossed arms. Her pretty black shoes sunk into the soupy grass.
"What's your name? So I know who not to thank in my first scientific journal." Thunder crashed like a mountain falling over, making Hazel jump. The sky was a dark, churning soup of clouds and lightning.The boy gently grabbed her dripping arm and led her onward.
"Lupin."
"Your full name please."
"Teddy Lupin. Hufflepuff." Lightning crashed again, scaring Hazel enough to make a mad dash for the nearby side entrance into the cellar. Lupin wasn't far behind, ducking quite a bit to avoid hitting his head on the door frame. He shook his head like a dog, flinging water everywhere.
"Ah! That's just great. You've probably given me a disease. Teenage-boy-itis or something." Hazel sputtered. Lupin just sent her a small smirk, wringing out his sweater with long, pale fingers. "Here, I'll make it easy for you. Aestas."
Hot air blew from her wand, quickly drying his hair and clothes. She turned the charm on herself, warming her half frozen limbs. She sighed in relief. Lupin stepped closer to her, close enough for her to smell spice candy on his breath, and plucked a small twig from her left pigtail. Hazel forgot how to breathe until he stepped away.
"Th-thanks." She felt her face go hot and started messing with her braid. "Does your hair change color often? It was kind of brown, and now it's red."
"Yeah. I can't really help it. My family says I'll learn how to do it soon enough, I guess my mom could do it too." Hazel realized that Lupin was one of those people that lived their lives in a state of lazy nonemotion. He slouched, hands in his pockets, and looked completely unbothered.
"Alright. I guess I'll see you at dinner." Hazel turned and started walking to the main hall. But stopped. "My name's Hazel Nott by the way."
She scurried off, desperate to write the few results of her experiment in her diary.
:
"Magipsychology? Sounds like a disease." Lupin was laying on the bench that Hazel sat on, his head on her lap. He was so curiously tall that he could not lay on the bench any other way without looking strange. Hazel flicked his nose.
"You don't have to follow me around, you know. Do boy stuff." Hazel was trying to pay attention to her textbook, a futile effort. Lupin made it impossible to focus. He was lazily moving a crumpled bit of paper around with his wand.
"I was bored."
"Is Magipsychology less boring?" Lupin shrugged. "Shouldn't you be studying? I mean this in the best way, but you are failing every class miserably."
"What does it matter?" He continued to flick the paper. Hazel thought that she was very good at reading people, and right then she felt very strongly that Lupin did not want her prodding him anymore. There was a tenseness to his brow, and a slight grimace.
Hazel was normally very nosy. Quite against her nature, she decided to change the subject.
"Did you know that muggles have doctors and medical centers dedicated to one's mental health?" Hazel started boldly. Lupin turned the paper into a ship in a bottle, then made it rock as though it were at sea. The other student in their corner of the quiet library got distracted by it. He charmed his eraser shavings to swim under it like fish. "They very much value positive mental conditions in their patients. Here in the wizarding world, we have no such thing. That is why I study so hard, it's because I want to be the first magi psychologist. If you can create a ship from paper, I can pioneer new and improved methods of therapy involving magic. With research, at least."
"Hm." Lupin pulled Hazel's shiny new mauve hair ribbon into the mix, gently releasing it from her hair and forming it into the shape of a jellyfish. She could tell that he wasn't exactly listening, but finally speaking her work into existence felt liberating.
"My parents are crucial members of the Wizengamot, and thus very practical. They think I want to work in the Ministry too, but I told them that because it was the only career I knew they would support. Anything unknown or experimental is foolish in their eyes. And maybe it is. But if I don't try…I don't think I'd ever stop regretting it."
"That's easy. Just prove them wrong." Lupin shrugged. He flicked his wrist and returned everything to its rightful state. Everything except for Hazel's hair ribbon.
"Hey, it used to be mauve! I really like that ribbon!" Hazel watched the now yellow silk weave into her black braid with a pout.
"I like yellow on you."
Hazel blushed all the way to her ears. "You only say that because you're a Hufflepuff."
Lupin met her eyes for once, capturing her braid with two long fingers. "It's my favorite color."
Hazel gulped at the lump in her throat, wondering if he could hear her heart beating. She wanted so badly for him to kiss her.
Lupin let go of her braid, turned on his side, and closed his eyes for a nap. Hazel wanted to flick his nose again.
:
Hazel was feeling things she had never felt before, and they made her whole body tremble. She hoped that he wouldn't notice. They were hidden away in the dark corner of an empty classroom, and she sat on his lap as they kissed. Everything felt so intense for her, as if her body had been set aflame. She knew nothing but his slow, moaning kisses and his wandering hands. She could feel that he had gotten hard beneath her, but she didn't know what to do about it. She decided to let him lead.
Lupin laid Hazel onto the cool stone floor, breaking their heated kiss. He stared into her eyes with swollen lips and labored breathing, hovering over her.
"Are you scared?" He rubbed her cheek with his thumb. "You're shaking."
Hazel bit her lip, not knowing what to say. She was scared, but also less scared than she had ever been. "I don't want to stop."
"I don't want to either." Lupin whispered. Hesitantly, Hazel pulled his face back to hers-
"Wow, you actually fell asleep." Alicent said, shooting Hazel back into the waking world. She instantly blushed and pulled the covers over her head. "Dinner just started, you're missing it."
"I stayed up all night studying for that quiz in Arithmancy. Leave me be." Hazel moaned, blindly swatting at her friend.
"Alright, alright! I just thought you'd want to know that Lupin's been waiting for you in the common room like a lost puppy."
"He has?"
"Are you blushing?" Alicent teased, grabbing at the covers to unveil Hazel's cherry cheeks.
"No!" Hazel sat up and crossed her arms, looking anywhere but at the Cheshire Cat grin on the girl's face. She then asked in a mousy voice, "What did he say?"
"He didn't say anything. He just laid there, taking up the whole couch like usual, staring at the stairs to the girl's dormitory. You never should have given him the answer to the riddle, you know. Now he never leaves."
"I'm kind of glad he has somewhere to hide now, his family really bothers him. I waved at Albus Severus in the hall the other day and Lupin seemed to sink into the floor."
"Rose is always telling me how frustrated Harry gets with Teddy. She thinks it's justified because they had to fight hard to keep him in Hogwarts this year. If he doesn't get his act together he won't graduate." Alicent sat on the bed beside Hazel, who looked conflicted. "I know that you care a lot for him, but he really is the bum he plays himself to be."
There was a thick silence. Hazel had indeed come to care for Teddy Lupin, very deeply in fact. She had invited him to her family's Christmas party, and he seemed almost too excited to go. She didn't even have to sell him with the prospect of a guest house all to himself. All Hazel had felt then was relief that he held no grudges against her family's dark past. Some still shuddered when they heard the name Nott, despite the bad eggs rotting behind bars.
Teddy never treated her like she was other or strange, despite the many reasons for him to do so. He just seemed to genuinely enjoy sitting quietly in Hazel's company. Occasionally his hand would brush her hip, or she'd run into him from behind, and there would be an electricity between them. From the look in his eyes when they talked, she was certain that he felt it too. A small part of her couldn't wait to spend the weekend with him next month, just the two of them in that little guest house, drinking hot cocoa in front of the fire. He loved it when she read aloud to him.
"I hate to judge him on rumors. The Teddy I know is worth something." Hazel sprang out of bed, shaking off the heavy emotions that had settled. "Besides, I can't wait to see him try to ice skate with us! He'll look like a clumsy spider."
Alicent seemed to ponder for a moment whether to press the issue or not, worried for her too trusting friend, but thought better of it. Hazel could really dig her heels in when she felt like it.
"Do you remember my first time? I knocked your Great Aunt Sylvia flat on her stomach." Alicent giggled, walking over to her vanity to fix her hair. Hazel was changing out of her lounge clothes and back into her winter uniform.
"Thank god you were already stellar at healing magic. Her nose was horrific. She still complains about it, you know."
"Tell her to come to St. Mungo's during my internship, I'll give her a Voldemort nose." Alicent had a mischievous glint in her eye, rotating between hairstyles with a swish of her wand. "Speaking of my fabulous achievements, are you coming to the quidditch game tomorrow? I reached my new highest speed at practice this morning, and I almost beat the school record."
"You know I will. I think Ravenclaw has a real chance this year! Especially since that Slytherin boy graduated last year. What was his name again?" Hazel checked herself in her own vanity, adjusting her sweater. She left her straight, thick black hair as it was. Lupin stared at her more when it was down, or at least she thought so. She tied her long bangs back with the yellow hair ribbon.
"I've removed him from my mind. He gave Slytherin a bad name again, let me tell you." Alicent enjoyed gossip like Venus fly traps enjoyed flies, and Hazel indulged her until it got too far fetched. "Speaking of giving yourself a bad name, did you see Gemma Black on Tuesday? She shortened her skirt! One strong breeze and she would have flashed the whole herbology class! I really hope it's not a trend."
They walked out of the sixth year dorms together, Hazel listening to Alicent with quiet amusement. The Ravenclaw dormitory was truly beautiful. The floors and walls were glistening white marble, and the walls were mostly composed of elegant windows that showcased the breathtaking mountains and grounds surrounding Hogwarts. Some thought it too cold to be comfortable, but Hazel had always found it to be the perfect place for quiet reflection and study. The common room had an excellent library of its own, with shelves that connected directly to the main library. One simply had to know the title and author of the book, touch the bookcase, and it would appear. Gryffindor common room was fun and warm, but Ravenclaw was perfect for people like her.
"I bet you're wasting away, you didn't have to wait." Hazel said bashfully to Lupin as she approached him. He was sprawled out on the largest sofa in the common room, his hair matching the blue of the velvet fabric. It turned pink when he saw her approach, making Alicent giggle. He fell in step with them, easily keeping pace with his long limbs.
"Meh. Darcy Whittier gave me a sausage roll earlier."
"Because she felt bad for you. It was supposed to be for her cat." Alicent teased. "Everyone could hear your stomach growling."
"If you say so." He yawned. "That was a good nap. Better than in my dorm."
"I've never been to Hufflepuff common room, is it loud?" Hazel asked conversationally. She walked between Lupin and Alicent as they descended the moving staircase. The cavernous space echoed the boom of students chatting in the Great Hall, and the smell of roasted chicken made her mouth water.
"I went to a party there in fifth year. It's pretty cozy, but it's never quiet. They get up to lots of crazy stuff. Plus Hufflepuff has been super full the past few years, so finding a place to sit can be a challenge." Alicent laughed. "Talking about it, I know why someone like you wouldn't want to hang out there Lupin."
"It's worse at night. My roommates never sleep." Lupin grumbled. Normally he wasn't bothered by anything, but Hazel knew sleep was precious to him. He was, if nothing else, very good at relaxing.
"Why don't you sleep in my dorm tonight? It's just me and Alicent since Catrina transferred to Ilvermorny. I can conjure you a mattress." Hazel blinked and then turned to Alicent sheepishly. "As long as it's okay with you?"
Alicent gave Hazel a hard look, and Hazel tried to look as innocent as possible.
"Fine. But absolutely NO funny business, and trust me I'd know. Also he cannot be seen going up OR leaving. That means late nights and early mornings. Okay?"
"That is, if you want to Teddy?" Hazel had never called him Teddy before. It felt good on her lips, though, and she decided to call him that from then on. Teddy's hair turned pink again.
"Sure. Thanks."
:
Hazel tossed and turned with no hope for sleep. It was surely the wee hours of the morning. She'd been overthinking and analyzing so long that it had to be. She was on the crux of a breakthrough, she was sure of it, but all of the pieces weren't fitting together like they should.
The day that Teddy found her in the rain, she had been investigating a phenomenon experienced rarely in the magical community. Through mental seclusion and meditation, such as she had tried to replicate, some witches and wizards had been able to enter a healing coma of sorts. They would be completely paralyzed but physically well for up to a week. In that time their bodies' magic would be able to focus on the irregularities in that person's brain chemistry, healing them. The people then awoke without mental ailment. To date, only anxiety and OCD had been healed. The issue was that these comas were not voluntary, or induced by external stimuli. Therefore, there was no way to replicate them.
Yet.
Hazel studied meditation and magical healing every spare moment she had. Using herself as a Guinea pig, she had tried everything she could think of. Despite her best efforts, she was hitting a brick wall. Hazel could win a stubbornness contest against anyone, but science was sitting in first place.
She decided that there was no hope for sleep. With sandy eyes and wild hair, Hazel started the dark trek to the bathroom. She wanted to splash cool water on her face.
The moonlight glinted off of something In the corner. It was where Teddy had been sleeping this past week. Curiosity won Hazel over and she changed direction to snoop.
The moonlight was glinting off of a small knife, which lay in a messy pile amongst little bits of charcoal pencil. Lupin's limp hand hung off the side of his mattress, pale except for the black powder covering his fingertips. He snored quietly.
Hazel snooped further and found the parchment Teddy had been using. She took it very gingerly, careful not to smudge the charcoal, and went to the window to see it better. She sat heavily on the cushioned windowsill, eyes wide with shock.
She was looking at a prettier, sketchier version of herself. It was Teddy's rendition of their Care of Magical Creatures class earlier that day. Hazel had been chosen to demonstrate the innate kindness and trust of diricawl birds. It had hopped right into her arms and nuzzled her cheek, then pruned her hair with its large black beak. Hazel had giggled with delight and stroked its soft feathers. This scene played over and over on the beautiful charcoal drawing.
Teddy had drawn Hazel to be a goddess of happiness and beauty. His work was very elegant realistic, using light and shadows well. Hazel felt very vain, staring at it as long as she did.
The amount of care and effort that Teddy had put into the sketch was very evident, and not at all lost on Hazel. She wanted to thank him and tell him how excellent of an artist he was. She wanted to see his other works, then show him her favorite paintings in Nott Manor. They had a Monet print that she was especially fond of.
But why hadn't Teddy told her about his interest in art? As far as Hazel was aware, absolutely no one knew about it. He didn't want people to know. She shouldn't have snooped.
Sadly, Hazel deposited the sketch where she had found it, stroked a lock of brown hair from Teddy's face, and went back to bed
