"The partially, nearly Naked Gun 3 : 'They Saved Crumpf's Brain'…"
Summary: Frank Drebbin is out of retirement and on the case when he learns the fanatical former president and loser candidate Fred Crumpf may not be quite as dead as he left him and he and/or his crazies including his family threaten the newly elected President Woodrowmina Wilson.
Of course Nordberg is no longer on the squad because of, well, we never talk about that...
Part XII…
Hawaii, Maui Island…Marina area…
"So, this three-hour tour of yours…" Banner, in Hawaiian shirt with umbrella drink in hand addresses young twenties-ish first mate of small private charter boat. "…Does it cross these coordinates?" he offered map to the dark-haired, red-shirted, white sailor's-capped mate who eyed map.
Uh…"Well, best to check with my skipper. Hey, Skipper?" the mate called to a tall, burly white-haired figure in blue shirt with dark captain's cap. "Can you tell us if we cross this latitude and longitude during the cruise?"
I suppose I should be impressed this dolt knows the words, Banner reflected, taking sip.
The said skipper came over, looking a bit miffed. "You ought to know your sea charts by now, Gilligan. Let me see here. Yeah, we cross that about midway in the tour, it's our farthest point out, sir. Are you looking for something out there?"
"Oh, it's just a great point for viewing the night sky. I'd like to book tomorrow's night cruise."
"That'll be fine. I can bring a telescope along if you like." The Skipper noted. "I'm sure the other passengers would appreciate a good view of the stars out there. It's really beautiful."
"That'd be great." Banner nodded. "Better than my binoculars."
For pinpointing the sub's arrival…He thought. And far enough away to safely sink this tub after I disembark, leaving no witnesses, as usual.
And small loss, given this Laurel and Hardy seafaring team…
"That'll make eight passengers for our three-hour night cruise. Gilligan? Don't book anyone else for tomorrow night, we're at capacity for the boat."
"Gotcha, Skipper. Please come by the booth when you're ready to sign up, Mister." The mate nodded.
Pity, but what's nine more likely inferior American lives compared to the founding of the Fourth…Or one could say the Fifth (some of the guys insist they had a Fourth Reich going in Argentina for awhile.) Reich, Banner thought. Phone buzzing, he pulled it out as he stood on the dock.
"Banner…What? They what? Uh…." He sighed, frowning. "You're sure both are dead and Drebbin…Fine?" he lowered voice.
Shit…Creed and Ford never fail…What has Drebbin got?
"What? Drebbin's captain asked you to what? Well…" he smiled. "Perhaps this is a chance to retrieve the situation. We need to eliminate our doctors' network in America now anyway. No, it's fine…Leave it to me. You just play it straight and give them more or less whatever help they require, son. My other usual operatives, you know who, will take care of our network, and then, Drebbin." He stepped over to isolate himself further… "I'm heading to the Lair tomorrow, the usual way. How's everything else? Work good? And the romance department?" smile. "Well, son, you know I want to be involved in your personal life as much as you'll let me…I never want you to think of me as just your Nazi/neo-Fascist Uber Fuhrer and superior. Well, make sure you're getting enough sleep, I know a doctor's, especially a neurologist's hours are grueling. And are you eating? Well, so I'm a bit motherly. Can't a dad nurture too? All right, kid. See you when I can, there or at the lair. Love ya," pressing, then pressing again and pausing.
"Hey, Lorelai…This is Banner. We're still on for eliminating the network but I want to move up the schedule to start tomorrow, and I'm afraid Creed and Ford failed with my other target. Luckily he'll be touring the network with friends and my boy, Sid. So, if you could put Drebbin and his captain and anyone not my boy with them on the list? Just do them after you take out the network, ok? Say, I hope Rory got my graduation present on time? Congrats on her making valedictorian and those college acceptances, though I would go for Yale myself. Call me soon as you get this. Banner out." He closed phone.
Hmmn…Would've been nice if the boy'd asked me how Hawaii was…Kids these days, he sighed, heading for the booth.
…
"Well, quite a night out…" Frank smiled at Marjorie as they sat in her car, having dropped Hocken at his home. "Must say I was impressed, Director, by your shooting."
"I think we can go on a first name basis, after a night like this, Frank." She smiled. "And thanks, but I wish I'd been a little better at wounding. Those two are coming up without any records in any database we try. It would have been useful to interrogate them." Sigh.
"Well…You shoot 'em in the legs, they let you have it in the face. You put a bullet in their chest, missing the heart, they pop you in the brain. That's life, sister."
Hmmn… Well. "I suppose so…I just hope my people turn up something on them, though we can be sure Crumpt's people were involved. Probably Banner-Goebbels running the organization now. There have been two unconfirmed sightings of him here in LA."
"Hard to believe he wasn't sucked out of that plane to a bloody mess or drowned and fed the fishes in the wreck." Frank pondered. "But at least we have a lead to pursue…Those Nazi bastards operating…Literally…In the USA, here, in California."
"It's a horrible thought." Marjorie nodded. "And I feel for Captain Hocken and his poor wife. Lets hope we can find one of these madmen who can do something for her. Maybe even for your poor Jane, Frank?" comforting look.
"I dunno if Jane would want some Nazi playing God with her brains…Though I suppose, if some miracle cure appeared...I'd beat it out of whomever, within legal limits."
"I think the President would be willing to file it under 'national security'. I know I would." She smiled. "You're a good husband, Frank Drebbin."
"Well, she's a great wife." He nodded. "I miss her, dreadfully."
"I understand…I think. Frankly, I've never had what you seem to have with Jane. Maybe I let my career take over too much of my life, I don't know." She sighed. "But she's a lucky woman." Nod.
"Thanks. We both are." He agreed. "Glad we'll have that young doctor to help us out tomorrow as we start interviewing Edna's doctors."
"Well, I intend to call in a couple of teams to keep an eye on you, and the Hockens, tonight in a moment. And I'd like to join you tomorrow, if you and Captain Hocken don't mind. For the President's sake, in part…It's my duty to keep informed on all threats to her safety, naturally. And frankly it might be useful to have me along…I tend to shake Nazis up, especially when I flash the badge." Smile.
"Well…" Frank hesitated. "I appreciate the extra protection for Ed and his family's sake, though I'm sure I'll be fine. Though I'd hate to see you put in danger…I mean…As the President's Director of Presidential Security." He hurriedly added.
"It's my job and duty too, Frank. You boys can't have all the fun." She smiled. "Plus I can clear a few hurdles for you with any of the doctors willing or unwilling to cooperate and I'm not a bad shot. Don't make me pull rank?" grin.
"All right then. See you in the morning." He offered hand which she took.
Ummn…Uh…He released her hand after a shake and brief pause… "Well, a great night. See you tomorrow." Frank, a bit hasty in getting out.
"Night, Frank." She smiled at him through her open window, pressing to roll up. Ruefully watching as he entered his building.
Taking up secure phone in car…
"This is Bailey. Have a team around Lieutenant Drebbin's building asap. And another at the Hocken residence. I'll want reports every four hours. And put me through to the President, please?" she paused.
"Mina? This is Margie. Oh, no, no big deal, though I'm sorry I took those two out. No, no idea exactly who they were yet, meaning at least they were top professionals. Oh, yeah…Drebbin and Hocken are fine. What? Mina…" reprovingly, with smile. "He's married. Though we will be seeing each other tomorrow, I want to come along with them when they interview the doctors. No, no way to be sure but some of the sobs must be part of Banner's group. Well, what can you do? There's a doctors' shortage. But we'll start undercovering them tomorrow. Danny and the kids ok? I hope they weren't frightened hearing about things tonight? Well, I guess they do have to be troopers with a mom in politics. Well, just wanted to let you know how things were and see how you were doing, informally. My full report will be forthcoming in an hour, Madam President. What? Now, Mina…Well, yeah, he is. Yeah, I do…" Smile.
"But…Girl…C'mon…All's fair, sure…But, the poor girl's in a coma." Wider smile.
…
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