"The partially, nearly Naked Gun 3 : 'They Saved Crumpf's Brain'..."

Summary: Frank Drebbin is out of retirement and on the case when he learns the fanatical former president and loser candidate Fred Crumpf may not be quite as dead as he left him and he and/or his crazies including his family threaten the newly elected President Woodrowmina Wilson.

Of course, Nordberg is no longer on the squad because of, well, we never talk about that...

Part XIX...

"What do you think, Frank?" Marjorie asked as they emerged from Dr. Bailey's office. The good if a bit dotty and somewhat pervy doctor quite contentedly being led off to protective custody by a couple of her agents after wishing Captain Hocken to give his best to Edna and enjoy the photos from his computer.

"Well, I wouldn't have Ed send Edna over to this guy again." Frank noted.

"I agree, but about Dr. Goebbels-Banner and what Dr. Bailey said…?" she eyed him.

"Well…There's a lot of irrational prejudice against Danes these days. They eat too much butter, their country's too quiet and peaceful, their free universities are too good…" Frank shrugged. "And the doc's a bit of a coot."

"I have to admit I did sense a bit of flinching on Dr. Goebbels-Banner's part in shaking my hand." Marjorie noted. "I try to ignore that sort of thing if it's not overt and followed by the n-word and screams that I'm some sort of non-human primate stealing their job and to go back to where you came from…Chicago, in my case by the way." she smiled.

"Well, I suppose he just might be averse to human contact…Being a doctor and all he knows a lot about germs." Frank pondered.

"True, but I've asked his driver to be careful to see he goes straight to LA General and my people there to monitor him a bit. And to check that he does have surgery this pm. His record to date otherwise is clean, I can say that."

"You've checked his record?"

"We check everyone's record, Frank. National Security." She offered slight shrug, smile.

"Hmmn…I guess." He nodded. "And my record checked out?"

"Clean as a whistle though it was rather entertaining to read." She grinned. "You have had some interesting adventures."

"All in the line of duty, Director…Marjorie." At her look. "They must be crazy…" he noted, suddenly. Eyeing her…

"Our Crumpf/Nazi/Fascist/etc friends?" she gave quizzical look.

"Anyone who'd criticize your looks." He noted. "Ummn, not meaning…You know…Anything by that…You know." Nervously looking away.

"Oh? Do I?" she asked, smiling coyly. "Well, we'd better get on to Dr. Barton's place on Venice Beach."

"Hey, guys…Ma'am." Ed had emerged from the office bearing a flash drive. "Got all I wanted. Ready to save/interrogate within an inch of his life, this last guy, and check out Venice?"

"Actually, I'm a little worried we were wasting our time here, though there could be something useful in Dr. Bailey's files on Edna, he doesn't seem to be part of Banner's network." Marjorie noted, shaking head.

I mean…Naturally, any red-blooded male can see she's attractive. A Klansman would hide his robe and date her, in secret. But…Frank nervously thought as he eyed Marjorie speaking to Ed.

There's nothing wrong with these thoughts, Frank…An angelic Jane appeared before him, in a mist, with wings, holding harp. You go right ahead and dream on about screwing her, you faithless son of a…! Turning into harridan Jane as he stared in horror and flying at him…

Whoa!

"What, Frank?" Ed eyed him. "Did we forget something? Or did you have one of your crazy instincts that solves the case?"

"What? Uh, no…Just…Ummn…Remarkable the way you kept your rage in check back there with Dr. Bailey, Ed." Frank noted, high-mindedly. "I don't know if a partner, female, male, undead, could keep their cool like that in such circumstances even if the other partner's just looking. Not even looking, really…"

"Well, that doc Bailey's just a bit of an old perv…Well, I guess I can hold my rage for that. And maybe he was just missing his wife…" shrug. "Besides, this one of Edna in the grey suit…" Hocken pulled out a photo of Edna made up to look like Madeleine Elster in "Vertigo"… "…Is really nice. Gotta see if I can find the suit or if the doc still has it around."

"You're a patient man, Captain." Marjorie as they descended to the waiting car.

"No, not really, ma'am…Marjorie…" At her look. "But you gotta learn to manage your insane rage, ya know. Else it spills out at home with the kids, my poor Edna." Sigh, shrug.

"Right. Always best if the partner contains that rage." Frank noted, hastily. Ok, Jane?

"You're a good guy, Ed Hocken." Marjorie smiled. "Lets go see if we can let you clobber this next one. Within legal limits…"

"No question they've got people in there with our target." Rory, sitting on bench, fiddling with same phone/radio she'd used before to track the police and feds. Seated next to Lorelei, now in brown leather jacket, hair ponytailed, slacks…My professional look, she'd noted when changing at the McDonald's where they'd left her Jeep.

Probably permanently, she'd noted…After all it was stolen that morning…With an unfortunate fate for the young male owner who'd picked up two nice young women apparently hitchhiking into LA just outside the airport at 5 am. A lesson never to pick up hitchhikers by the way, she'd sternly reminded Rory.

And they'd likely have had to use other transport out anyway.

"Well, if so, what can we do?" Rory sighed. "You're not planning a Jack Ruby for the honor of the Killmore name?" she eyed Lorelei.

"Please…" wave of hand. "Does Mama seem so old to you she's ready for a Jack Ruby? Gotta lotta livin' to do, yet, girl." Smile. "But as we do have to be sure the doctor's records are destroyed, we might be able to create a bit of distraction in which Loren Reynolds, FBI…F…B…I…aren't you proud of Mom?" beam…Holding up excellent fake FBI id. "…Can slip in and take charge of the good doctor, permanently."

"Nice…But still sounds Rubysque to me. Extraction being likely quite difficult." Rory sighed.

"Well…You know what my dad Dick Scarchetti would say...'If murder were easy'...?"

"'Everyone would be doing it'."

"So, I'll get twenty-five to life if they don't hang me. Promise me if they give me the time, you'll be waiting. If they hang me, you'll always remember Mama?" mock sorrowful look.

"I will, either case. Unless you turn state's evidence and go WPP."

"Bite your tongue, you're no daughter of mine."

"Only for snitching on people we hate." Rory noted.

"Well, it's an option, I guess. But I have hopes of avoiding John Law, oddly enough the name of an old boyfriend. Didn't work out, though he was a great guy, the name raised subconscious hackles with me."

"Sad…We really have to spruce up your dating life when we get home. So, what's the plan, Mom? And I'm sitting here, hoping I get to use the bazooka…" eager tone.

"Dear child…" smile. "Of course you get to use the bazooka. It's what we came to LA for plus twelve million dollars…"

Now this is the life… Banner noted to himself while nodding as his Hawaiian lei-wearing waitress brought him another pina colada to his chair on the ocean front beach. He in flowered shirt, with his own leis stretched comfortably on the beach chair.

So many supervillains and plotters of world conquest never stop to take a moment to smell the roses…He shook head. Oh, there she goes, as his phone buzzes. The ceaseless drumming of the rain of the daily world conqueror rat-race. Well, uneasy lies the head of the Deputy Leader/Power Behind the Psycho Idiot on the Throne. Pressing…

"Banner here." He told phone.

Trying to get a moment to myself during the one vacation I've had all year…He did not say.

"Yes? Oh, well very good…Three down, eh? Ok, we're making progress here. And all records deleted? Good, good. Well, the Killmores never fail, in my experience. I'll be waiting to hear of further success. Oh…?" he sighed.

Always the way…The good news and…The bad news…Yin and yang. Sigh.

"Ok, yes, son…I'm sitting down and quite relaxed. They did? You did? But this girl, you say, your driver? Oh…Well, that should take care of her for a while. No, I know you don't like to kill 'em, you're a doctor, son. I respect that. The usual place is fine and with a few further injections by your friends there, she may never recover her memory, certainly not in time to stop you. One more federal agent out of circulation and a woman as Hitler and we Nazi/fascist/misogynists intended her to be." Nodding. "But you can make your escape with our people, right? Good, good. Well, I'm heading out tonight but if you can catch a boat from here when you arrive we can hold the sub for you at these coordinates at this time." taps to send. "But you'd best catch the first plane…Or if that fails just charter a boat with our people and call me. Ok, son. I love you too. No, no, I'm not pissed. These things happen. Sooner or later you were going to have to flee anyway. Just let me know Dr. Barton's secure and it's fine. Oh, good. He got word and signaled to our folks he'd destroy all files? Ah…If he can…That got a frosty sound. But don't worry, the Killmores were prepared for this, knew the feds might be on to us by now. They'll come up with something, I'm sure. And, if not…Well, we got three out of four, not bad. Well, you best get to a plane or see about the boat option. See you on the Lair. And again, love you kid. Banner out." He pressed phone screen.

Damn…Why do these things always select something I don't want. I'm not interested in Itunes right now. He pressed phone screen again.

Well, as I told the boy, we knew he might be ferreted out and three out of four's not bad. And Lorelei and Rory may yet succeed.

Good enough as all things go…Now, lets enjoy what's left of…Damn…As phone buzzed again.

"Banner…What? Really? Well, Fred that's great news." Beam. "Tell Professor Mabuse I'm very pleased. Can't wait to see. Yeah, I'll be heading out tonight. How's everyone? Great. Say, you folks haven't been able to see it…Him…Yet, have you? I was so hoping to…"

"Ah…" beam. "Well, lets hope all continues well. Anyway, congrats, Fred. I'll be there early in the am. We'll get together as soon as I get there. Banner out."

Now that's good news…He beamed. Really wasn't sure they could pull it off. All-in-all, things are going damn well. He leaned back and took another sip.