"The partially, nearly Naked Gun 3 : 'They Saved Crumpf's Brain'..."
Summary: Frank Drebbin is out of retirement and on the case when he learns the fanatical former president and loser candidate Fred Crumpf may not be quite as dead as he left him and he and/or his crazies including his family threaten the newly elected President Woodrowmina Wilson.
Of course, Nordberg is no longer on the squad because of, well, we never talk about that...
Part XXVIII…
"Well, ma'am…" Dr. Emerson noted to Marjorie as he stepped back from her, following his quick exam at her request. "As far as I can tell from a preliminary exam, you've had no surgery of any kind on your brain. Though I'd be curious to know what kind of surgery we're talking about."
"I concur on both counts." Major Dr. Farley agreed.
"Sorry, gentlemen…Need to know basis only. But thanks." Marjorie smiled. "Frank? Ed? Will that do for now as far as I'm concerned?"
"Sure." Ed noted, still keeping gun trained on several members of the team. Marjorie having explained the need to the two doctors before they began their exams.
Thumb's up for Romance he beamed at Frank.
"Uh, sure. No hard feelings, I hope, Marjorie." Frank noted.
"Frank, not at all." She shook head. "It was the sensible thing to do, and I think you were justified in doing it, but lets board now and do the rest of us aboard the plane, before we lose too much more time."
"Sure…Doctors, me next, once we're aboard." Frank told them.
Aww…Ed, inwardly. And again no offense, Janey…
"Everyone on board, people!" Marjorie commanded.
Just so long as I've a little time to myself before my exam and a chance to set off the explosive in my phone and Jeremy's near a fuel tank or sensitive area, Terry thought, hurrying to ramp but politely deferring to Ed, who'd followed Marjorie and Frank.
Sorry, babe…She smiled at Jeremy, standing near, who smiled back.
But our romance was doomed from the start. And the phone I got you for Christmas would only go off at an intentional signal. I'd never put you at needless risk.
…
The Lair…Back on conference room level…
"I hope…" giggle… "You were suitably impressed, Dr. Goebbels-Banner."
"I was…" The somewhat shaken Goebbels-Banner eyed Mabuse. "You've done amazing if rather unnerving work here, Doctor."
"Again, a team effort…" giggle. "But one I am proud to have led." Pause. "Of course, we cannot call it a complete success until we have secured our Leader's new host."
"Indeed…That will be a challenge."
"But not an insurmountable one." Smile, giggle.
"Mike! Where've you two mad scientists been?" Smirk called over, spotting them. "Come and have a drink with the gang here." He indicated the motley crew of guests and their various flunkeys and guards about him.
Rank prejudice, Mabuse frowned. A little nervous habit and people are reading all sorts of things into it.
Evita eyeing Goebbels-Banner from among the group…With smile.
"Come on over…Michael." She cooed, waving.
He sighed inwardly. Not that she's not cute, but who needs to be the plaything of the crown princess?
Not to mention the big boys giving me trouble out of ego…He eyed the cool looks from lil' Kim, Novotny, and Smirk. Eric Matisse clearly amused as he watched, glass of champagne in hand.
No daughter of Crumpf is likely to be to my taste…I'd always be wondering if he ever really did date her, the perverse creep, Matisse thought coolly, smiling at Evita.
"Hey, Mike!" Fred Jr., about as innocent a smile as a Crumpf could offer.
"I see we are being summoned." Mabuse noted.
Fine…He eyed Goebbels-Banner's glance. You're being summoned, slight glare.
But not the genius who largely made this day possible, however modestly I insist it was a "team effort".
Goebbels-Banner reluctantly heading over to the group…Mabuse following him.
I should at least get a drink and a crack at that buffet…
"Fred? Evita? Aaron? You know Dr. Mabuse, of course?" Goebbels-Banner presented Mabuse.
"Of course…" Evita, quickly. Ignoring Mabuse's smile to focus on Goebbels-Banner.
Right, I'm the chopped liver workhorse of the corporation, Mabuse thought, distinctly not giggling now. But dear old Glorious Leader would be dead mush in a jar if it wasn't for me…
"Whiskey, double…" he told the bartender.
Bet I don't even get a bonus…
"Can't wait to see Dad and what you've managed, Doc." Fred Jr. noted.
At least someone acknowledges me…Mabuse sighed, wan smile to Fred Jr. Though it would have to be him.
"So, you two been off discussing the grand achievement on your lonesome…?" Smirk asked. Eyeing both scientists shrewdly. "You ought to have asked me along."
If it were me and not your dad, punk, this project would be months ahead of schedule, he did not say, smiling serenely at Goebbels-Banner.
"I'm anxious to review the technical details…" he noted.
Goebbels-Banner and Mabuse rolling eyes at each other briefly…At least Fred Jr. doesn't pretend to understand what we do. As for Smirk, he may try to claim he invented brain transplantation, but he couldn't keep a bacterial culture alive, let alone maintain a living human brain out of body.
"Well, I had some questions for Dr. Mabuse, as a neurologist myself." Goebbels-Banner noted.
"President Putinsky would be anxious to see this technology freely shared among us all." Novotny had cut in, slight insistence.
"As would we…" lil' Kim, strolling over with guards, including the young woman he was considering for his potential host. A number of the other guests showing considerable interest as well…
"Boys, lets hold on the shop talk till Mike's dad gets here." Evita noted. Taking Goebbels-Banner by the arm.
"Been a while, Mikey. I don't think you've paid much attention to me at all this last year." She noted in teasing tone.
"Busy times, Evita…And I've been in deep cover. While you've been with your husband, mostly in New York."
"Oooh, I sense a note of disapproval in our Nazi bigwig descendant." She pouted. "I promise you, Carl would never stand in the way of my having a good time." Grin.
"And that's reciprocated?" he asked, eyeing her.
"No…" she shook head. "I'll be honest, I'm the jealous type. I like my husbands and lovers to stay put…Or else. Comes with being a Crumpf. We don't like to lose."
Yet you do so often…He did not say.
"But like your own ancestor, we do often enough, eh?" she grinned.
"Tell me…" she pulled him aside, waving back a few of the guests looking like they'd like to follow. Leading him to a small conference room and closing door in the face of two frowning would-be suitors…Or at least insiders.
"Honesty, you think this bunch can pull off this crazy scheme?" she eyed him as they stood.
She's serious, he realized.
"I did think it was crazy…Carl thought it was crazy…But these folks really seem to believe in all this. And if they can put brains in other bodies…And Dad's really was kept alive?" she eyed him. "It's not all some massive con game by the older creepy guys here and your dad, is it?"
"No." he shook head. "Whether they can grab the President and so on, I can't say but they've actually done the transfer experimentally a few times without major side effects, in the more recent cases. And your Dad's brain is alive."
She stared at him. "You've seen it…Him, haven't you?"
"Yeah. And you will shortly." Nod.
"Jesus Christ…" she sighed. "How many times, successfully?"
"Four, I understand from Mabuse. But you'd best talk to him."
"Wow…Really? But, what side effects?"
"Rejection, coma…But the four recent ones have done well. I honestly believe they've got the technique down."
"Then…" she stared. "He's not dead…He won't ever die, will he?"
"We all die…But he could potentially live much longer than a normal human being, in new bodies." Shrug.
"I thought he was finally dead…" she whispered. "I hoped so. I thought Carl might with my help might…"
"Take over?" he eyed her. "From my dad?"
"From my brother Fred fer sure…" she shrugged. "I'd have had no problem sharing with your dad. Though I was more thinking…We could finally be free of all this madness."
"But…" she eyed him. "You. You really don't think it's madness, do you? A true believer? I thought maybe you had more sense…."
"I had my doubts, I still do." Shrug. "But Mabuse, crazy as he may be, and the others have succeeded. And I do stand with my dad."
"I didn't say I didn't…" she hastily replied. "Stand with my dad, I mean." Slight nervousness in her light tone. "I just didn't think…"
"Like I said…I had my doubts, too, Evita. And as for kidnapping the US president and replacing her brain, I'm willing to say it's a long shot at best."
"Yeah? So, then what?"
"They might find someone else. Someone close at hand." He shrugged. "It could be done and would be safer. And he could try again later, there's no restriction on the number of times the brain can be transferred that we know of, though there's likely some increase of trouble with more transfers."
"Someone else?" she stared. "Like my brother, maybe? Or Banner, your dad? Or even, you…He wouldn't mind taking you, you know."
"Maybe…" he shrugged.
"And you'd…Let them?"
"I'd hope they'd have a better candidate, but…"
She stared… "That's carrying dedication to the Cause a little far, don't you think?" she eyed him.
"Or would you find some way to stay you?" shrewd look.
"They'd know. An EEG, a few DNA and slide tests. It can't be faked, Evita."
"God…It's…" she paused. "And we really will see him, tonight? What's left of him?"
"Oh, yeah." He nodded.
"You can't seriously say you'd be a subject…?" she asked.
"Might not be my choice." He shrugged. "We're all pledged to the Cause, you know."
"Uh-huh…" she blinked, her poise gone.
"Well, I won't keep you any longer, you must want to speak to some of the others…" hesitating.
"I understand if you're frightened. I'll say nothing." He nodded. "But you'd better accept it can be done, at least a lot of it."
"Yeah…Sure…" she nodded, stunned. "Thanks…Michael? You wouldn't run would you?" slight plea.
"No, and it wouldn't help…Me. But I'll say nothing if you do. And they'd probably let you go, if you offer some excuse. Tell them you need to join Carl and catch the first plane out if you like."
"I'll never get away from him…" she sighed, shaking head. "No, it wouldn't do any good, I suppose."
"If he ever pulled it off…The whole deal, I mean." Goebbels-Banner eyed her. "He'd have to be cautious, pretend to be her for a while. You could probably…" he paused at her stare.
"No, I couldn't. He'd never let me. He'll never let me go." She shook head, trembling, then calmed with her usual sardonic smile. "Well, it's Fred's problem, most likely, and we'd best get back to the others…"
…
..
